Polites and Telemachus: The Antecedence Of One's Dire Thoughts
Polites is ressurected to be with Telemachus. Will Odysseus approve?
Poseidon was very MAD, Odysseus the rhomobospheric wolf of the sea had evaded his calls and was now happily banging his wife on Ithaca instead of being undersea. He was so MAD his varicose veins pooped ichor into the ocean, turning fish into swans and horses into the divinity of pleasure and much delight.
"Oh Poseidoooooon!!!!" cried an effeminated voice like wool pooled over a sea lion's murky butt.
It was..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................HADES!
"WHAT NOW!?" Poseidon yelled in angirly, he hated his brother for his streetwises and anachronistic ways.
"Oh Poseidon" Hades waved his hand, "I know a way to get revenge on Odysseus!"
"I'm all ears" said Poseidon, clearing infected beewax from his eardrums.
"What if we resurrect Polites and made him fall in love with tELEMACHUS? That will sow chaos and discord amidst the earth's races."
Poseidon smiled. Yes, that was a solid plan, because Odysseus was HOMERPHOBIC!
"Yes... Odysseus, you PAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!1"
***
Polites was ressurected right in front of the royal palace, where Odysseus and his family were eating. Odysseus spat out his food: goose laced with honey and unfestered spartan dicks.
"Polites my brother, you live!" said Odysseus, rising up to hug Polites.
"My friend, open arms!" and the two hugged.
But while they hugged Polites noticed Telemachus was blushing, and he blushed too. He disengaged from Odysseus and sat next to Telemachus.
"You are very hot" Polites said, "Would you like to be my eromenos?"
Everyone gasped.
"Polities, you came back to life to dislodge my son's intestines?! This will have no pardon!"
But just as Odysseus was raising his sword, Telemachus countered.
"Stop it daddy, I love him!" cried Telemachus ukeful tears.
"My son, it is only an educational phase, to learn knowledge while taking it up the bum! You must not follow the intellectual ways and go straight to having a family. Then you can cheat on them behind their back."
"Is that what you did?" Penelope was not amused, her vagina was full of cobwebs because of twenty years of disuse.
"N-no!" Odysseus LIED, because he had a son with Circe (AN: read The Telegony, it makes the story better I promise).
With that commotion, Telemachus and Polites held hands and run away from the castle. They kissed passionately like Korra and Asami in the comics.
"Oh my love, my father will never allow us!"
"He is my friend, he will see reason."
They frenched each other passionately, Polites sticking his tongue inside Telemachus' nose and licking the snot with much pleasure. Telemachus then put his finger inside Polites' ear and made him have an orgasm.
"Guess I'm not a virgin anymore" moaned Telemachus tiredly.
"STOP IT RIGHT THERE!" Odysseus said meanly, carrying an axe, "If you're not the son I want then I want no son at all!"
But he tripped on a root and cut off his own head.
Now Polites and Telemachus rule Ithaca while Odysseus was sent to Tartarus for ten thousand years, boys and girls!
Amen.