FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

You could hear the rain coming down in sheets outside. Another heavy storm, they’d been happening every few days at this point. Rain was nice, it always had been, and even thunderstorms felt cozy most of the time. Being dry and comfortable and relaxed while a storm poured down outside was always a nice feeling. But sometimes… it felt scary instead. You weren’t really sure why. Maybe it was just when other things were happening in your life that the fear started to come out at the sound of a storm. Like maybe this one would be the dangerous one that would throw your life into disarray.

“Is everything alright?” A voice offered comfort, as hard as it always was to accept. You just nodded, regardless of whether or not it was true. It was a bit too easy for them to know when you were lying, though. Hard to hide emotions from someone who knew your thoughts just as well as you knew theirs.

You could feel the gentle touch of fur against you as you focused on it, closing your eyes. The rain had stopped just as quickly as it had started, though it was supposedly coming back again soon. Even the wind that had been whipping by every day was still. The quiet brought with it a sense of unease, like the calm before the real storm began.

“A lot on your mind, huh?” Another nod. That time it was true. Too many things to count. Too many stressors to keep track of. Too many overwhelming thoughts and emotions. And probably a bit too much time spent diving into escapism just to have a break from thinking. The world was mean, but somehow your thoughts always seemed to end up meaner to you. It was probably the same for a lot of people, though, wasn’t it?

The ground outside the window was soaked underneath a clear sky. Was it going to start again? And when? The weather maps seemed to be saying that things would be mostly fine… nothing dangerous hitting there directly. Just… a lot of things that could go wrong, if they decided to. If the winds carried them the wrong way… but here you were. Still air, wet earth, and fear that despite all your efforts, things might not get any better than this. That your sails might never catch that terrifying wind that was promised, and carry you far, far away from here.

“Hey, come on. Over here.” A nudge at your leg drew your attention away from the window, and out of your own thoughts where you’d gotten stuck. The zorua was already walking away from the window, deeper into the den. You glanced back towards the window one more time, finding it quiet out there. You… weren’t sure if the quiet was any better. But maybe they were right. With a deep breath, you followed, away from the window. Someone else could be up there for a little while.

They were already laying in the nest of blankets, pillows, and plushies as you got there, a curious glance up at you saying more than enough to convince you to join. A deep breath out as you flopped down onto it yourself, feeling it all deform underneath you, supporting your weight. You didn’t look as you grabbed the nearest thing to hold, squeezing it tight against you and closing your eyes.

“Bad day?” You nodded again. They could feel it too, of course. But… it felt nice to acknowledge it. It was a bad day, as much as you’d wanted it to be a good one. “It’s alright to just let today be a bad one. That happens sometimes.” Their voice was gentle and soft as always. You both heard and felt them scooching and moving to the side, closer to you. Their fur brushed against you again as they leaned in, resting some of their weight on you. You found yourself leaning back.

“Sometimes we just need a day to relax and breathe. To just… let it be a bad day.” You felt like you had those too often. More than you should. “And do you let yourself actually have the bad day? Or just hide it behind a smile and say that it’s fine?” You… didn’t have an answer. …That wasn’t true, you did have an answer. Not often. You just didn’t want to think about that.

“I know it’s hard to believe. But it’s going to be okay.” They were right. It was hard to believe. As much as you wanted to believe it, as much as you said it to others, and as much as you said it to yourself, it was so, so, endlessly hard to believe. To keep believing, day after day, as you watched everything get worse, as you tried to make your life better, as you tried to do everything you could to keep going.

“It will be okay. But for right now… you can let it be bad for a day. Sometimes, you just need to let it rain.”

You snuggled into their fluff, getting as comfy as you could. It was dark and safe in here for now. Comfy blankets and pillows surrounded you. As you leaned against them, you could almost hear their heartbeat, a gentle, constant rhythm that brought comfort and certainty with it. Maybe it would be okay someday, like they said. Maybe it’d get better. It was bad for now. And that’s… okay.

You weren’t paying much attention to what was happening outside right now, all of that feeling so far away, your thoughts in here instead. Maybe it was raining again out there.

But it was raining here for now. And that’s okay.