Super Collie Adventures: Curse Of The Kakapo
Written in 2002 as a side-story to John Plunkett's story "Dark Desires".
Originally hosted on furry.org.au, but the site seems to have gone down for the count.
Part XI: Death's Other Dominion
When last we left Our Heroine, Doktor Catlove's badly-damaged battle robot in downtown Wellington had - in its death throes - unexpectedly dispatched Super Collie to the afterlife, where she encounters someone that looks stunningly familiar...
* * * *
“Zalika?!?" Super Collie exclaimed. “But – but – surely you're not -"
The female jackal standing before the startled collie shook her head. “No, Esmerelda Braithwaite... I am not the being you know as Daughter Night. I am Death, the guardian of the afterlife – and as a service to those recent arrivals to my domain, I do try to assume a pleasing shape."
“But – but why her?" And indeed, the resemblance to Zalika was uncanny: jet black fur from head to foot, tall pricked ears, a generous bust with prominent cleavage, and shapely hips covered only by a loincloth held up by a golden belt. And those eyes... golden eyes burning like fire that could burn into the very depths of your soul. Suoer Collie shook herself. No, it had to be the undead Zalika -
“The one you call Daughter Night – and whom I know by several o_ther_ names, you'd be interested to know – is the person you most associate with death. That is why I appear to you in her aspect." Death shrugged. “Now... as we have covered the initial pleasantries, it is time to escort you to the afterlife which has been prepared for you." The black jackal extended her hand. “Please, come with me."
“No." Super Collie replied. “I – I can't be dead. They need me..."
“Come now. You're only delaying the inevitable -"
“No." Super Collie growled, grinding her teeth, clenching her fists. “I'm not going with you. Send me back."
To Super Collie's surprise, Death started to laugh – a deep rich cackle that reverberated and filled the atmosphere, drowning out all other sounds. “Do you honestly think you're the first one who has asked me to send them back to the world of the living? Because you think you have a destiny?" Death replied mockingly. “Who do you think you are, little one?"
“Ko Aoraki taku maunga, ko Opihi taku awa, ko Te Whanau-a-Aotearoa toku iwi," Super Collie answered, staring Death right in the face, forcing herself to match the piercing gaze of the jackal's fiery yellow eyes. “Ko Super Collie toku ingoa. He te hepara kaitiaki -"
“Yes, yes, I know," Death interrupted. “You're Super Collie, the Guardian Shepherd of the land of New Zealand..."
“- o te whenua o Aotearoa," Super Collie gamely finished, determined not to let anyone interrupt the ceremonial greeting she had laboured so hard to learn. Especially as this might be the last time she had occasion to use it... “Yes, you know who I am," she continued, fighting to keep the tremor of fear from her voice. “You know what I stand for, you know what I do and what I'm capable of. I have a responsibility to my whanau, my country and the land itself to stand between them and the darkness, no matter what." Super Collie glanced down at her shaking hands, trying desperately to suppress the rising tide of panic in her mind. “I know my time is not yet. I have to go back, to do my duty – because no-one else can."
Death stood before the trembling Super Collie impassively, carefully studying her face. “Esmerelda – or perhaps I should say Super Collie, after that speech – you need to understand something." She reached out and took Super Collie's hands in hers, squeezing gently. “I am not your enemy... I harbour no ill will towards anyone who enters my realm." Her golden eyes gazed into Super Collie's face. “I have seen thousands upon thousands of persons like yourself, good people and true... so many have come before me, and so few return to the sunlit lands. I don't let just anyone go back just because they say they want to -"
“So what do I have to do then?" Super Collie interrupted. “Challenge you and best you in a contest? Then that's what I'll do!" She stamped her foot. “I challenge you, Death, to send me back to the living!"
For a moment, Death looked surprised – then broke into laughter again. “You challenge me? I don't think so, Super Collie… but just for the fun of it, I accept. And to give you an even chance, I'll even let you choose the contest." She smirked, airily waving her hand. “Unless of course you don't think you're up to it."
“Oh, I'm up for it all right," Super Collie shortly replied, crossing her arms and steadfastly meeting Death's searing gold eyes. “And I'll not only challenge you, I'll win."
“As you wish." Death observed, casually brushing a hand down her dress, smoothing the rumpled fabric. “What will it be? Single combat is rather pointless here, so shall we try a game? Will it be chess, the game of royalty? Or will you try something more modern, like poker?" She tapped one foot impatiently. “Come now Super Collie, you're wasting my time. Choose."
Super Collie took a deep breath. “Mornington Crescent."
Death started. “What did you say?"
“I challenge you to - Mornington Crescent."
“Indeed." Death nodded, her composure returning. “Finsbury rules? And the usual agreement – if you win, you return to the world of the living. And if I win I claim your immortal soul?"
“Agreed." Super Collie replied, though inside she quivered uncontrollably. If she failed -
“Have it your way, Super Collie. Mornington Crescent it is." Death slowly nodded. Pulling a chair out from one end of the table, Super Collie sat down and laid her staff on the floor under her chair. Death followed her, pulling up a chair on the opposite side of the table and leaning back expectantly. With a flick of the wrist, a playing board featuring a map of the London Underground materialized out of thin air onto the table's marble surface, followed by a dozen assorted tokens formed from many precious stones and metals.
“Very well – the board is set up, and the pieces assigned," Death announced. “You may begin."
Super Collie leaned forward, fixing her eyes upon Death. “Goodge Street, declaring home at Pimlico," she announced, placing a horse-shaped sapphire and gold playing token on the board.
“Earl's Court, declaring home at High Barnet." Death replied, scarcely batting an eyelid as she placed a similar piece carved from black opal in position.
“Bank."
“Kensington High Street."
Super Collie scratched her muzzle thoughtfully. “Charing Cross. Try and get out of that one."
Death leant forward, propping her head up in her hands. “Elephant and Castle." She smiled broadly, pearly-white canines contrasting with her jet-black fur. “You'll have to do better than that."
“Waterloo." Super Collie brushed her mane out from her eyes.
The jackal's response was immediate. “Too easy. Covent Garden – and you're blocked."
Super Collie frowned. “Damn," she muttered under her breath. Shaking her head briefly, she closed her eyes in concentration, her lips silently moving as she considered her next move. After what seemed like an eternity, the collie opened her eyes. “Baker Street," Super Collie announced.
“Hmmm." Death casually drew invisible figures on the table top with her finger. “Marble Arch." This was going to be a very interesting game.
* * * *
Super Collie frowned, studying the lay of the board as Death placed another black opal token at Tottenham Court Road. Although she was sure hours had passed since the beginning of the game, the featureless surroundings and constant light level of this place between life and death gave no inkling of the time that had passed since she threw down her challenge. “Upminster, declaring strile," she announced, moving a sapphire token.
“Westminster." Death moved another opal token. “That was a pretty tatty move – how on earth did you learn to play? Get the rules off a Weet-Bix packet?"
The collie smiled. “Hardly," she countered, remembering with relish the banter between players that was part and parcel of all level of Mornington Crescent tournaments. “I was the Pencarrow MC Association's Intermediate Champion for three years running, I'll have you know. Whereas I doubt you've even heard of Zen And The Art Of Third-Quadrant Shunts..."
“Hear of it? I wrote it," Death replied sarcastically. “Though it was rather before the time of Mrs Trellis, before anyone even thought of CAMREC. Warren Street."
“Mudchute, invoking DLR at Tower Hill." Super Collie paused. “But that's where your game fossilised, I presume."
“On the contrary, I have wide experience with all Mornington Crescent variations," Death retorted. “Dhoby Ghaut, Shinjuku san-chome, Potsdamer Platz with the Berlin Wall variation, even Takapu Road and whatever the Americans used to call the game they now refer to as World Trade Centre." The jackal grinned. “I warn you though, it is not possible to understand the full complexity of Mornington Crescent unless you have played in the original Egyptian -"
“I rather doubt that," Super Collie interrupted. “Three stations maximum, and two in pyramids? Hardly a challenge I would have thought."
“Such ignorance. What do you want? Morden."
* * * *
Time passed. Whether it was hours or days, Super Collie couldn't tell – already it seemed she had been playing this game forever. Her whole existence at this point was concentrated on the playing board before her and a steadily shrinking army of sapphire-and-gold tokens. Opposite her, the buxom figure of Death sat back with a self-satisfied smirk on her face, presiding over a barely diminished collection of black tokens marking strategic positions on the London Underground map that formed the basis of Mornington Crescent.
Death chuckled to herself. Despite her disparaging comments, she was finding Super Collie to be quite a satisfying opponent: she gave ground only when necessary and played every advantage for all it was worth – although in her position Death felt she would have been willing to make more sacrifices for strategic advantage. And there was no denying that the collie opposite her was rather pleasing to the eye... The jackal picked up one of the few black pieces Super Collie had managed to displace from the board and suggestively licked it, running her tongue up and down its length before gently sucking the tip, watching with amusement as a flush of embarrassment filled Super Collie's face. Smirking, Death carefully and deliberately ran the tip of the token down her cleavage before dropping her hand below the level of the table – then, as her eyes met her opponents, began to slowly rock back and forth in her chair, licking her lips and sighing heavily... the implications of where the token was now and what she was doing with it being blatantly clear.
Opposite, Super Collie watched open-mouthed, scarcely believing the show that the jackal appeared to be putting on for her. As if in reply, Death's eyes locked with hers, and immediately Super Collie started to pant in sympathy with the figure opposite her. Remember when you made love to Zalika in downtown Wellington? The fiery eyes across from her seemed to say. The lustful passion, the ecstasy, the joining of souls? I can do that for you. You know you want to...
I can't... Super Collie's mind whimpered, struggling to resist. The temptation to dive into that gaze, to surrender to lust, was nearly overwhelming. ButI want to... oh god I want to... She could feel unseen fingers teasing her body -
The sound of a token clattering on the ground jolted Super Collie out of her trance, and she hurriedly looked about her in confusion. As before, the only person she could see was Death, who was smiling up at her through half lidded eyes.
“You want what I can offer, I know it..." the jackal murmured seductively. “I know everything Zalika feels, what you and her have done together..."
“Are you here to play with my mind, or to play Mornington Crescent?" Super Collie snapped, folding her arms and scowling at her opponent. “Kennington."
“Don't get insolent," Death retorted, suddenly becoming business-like. “Bifircation on the Northern Line, playing Kentish Town and causing driveback on Bakerloo to Queen's Park."
And so the game continued... two figures sitting in a single pool of light in the darkness, hunched over the playing board for what seems like hours, oblivious to the roiling mists and clouds surrounding them.
* * * *
“Acton Town", Death smiled, moving another opal playing piece into attack. Yet another of Super Collie's pieces had been forced into shunt, and with an expression of undisguised satisfaction Death picked up the trapped token and removed it from the board. “A rather amateurish application of the Humphrey Gambit, I have to say, and you're steadily running out of options." She leaned back in her seat, stretching her arms over her head. “Admit it Super Collie, you're never going to win this game. Save yourself the ignominy of defeat, and surrender to your fate. Being dead isn't that bad, you know."
Super Collie scarcely heard her opponent's taunting. Hands clenched into fists so tightly that knuckles showed white through her fur, she frantically scanned the board for an opening for one of her few remaining pieces to pass by the virtually untouched mass of black tokens towards the ultimate goal of Mornington Crescent. Her heart sank: Death's pieces had her hemmed in towards the southern quadrant on the Piccadilly and Circle lines, with a lone sapphire-and-gold token providing resistance to the onslaught of black on the Bakerloo Line. Move after move she considered then discarded before she found herself staring at the board in disbelief, her heart pounding in her ears –
“You must make a move, Super Collie," Death prompted, carefully watching her opponent. “Time is passing… and you are in danger of forfeit of the game." The black jackal casually studied her clawtips, pausing occasionally to look up into Super Collie's terrified face. “I grow tired of waiting. Move."
“F-f-farkle!" Super Collie burst out. Instantly she covered her mouth with her hand, scarcely able to believe it was her own voice. H_ad she really said the first thing that came to her mind? Never mind, how much worse can it get? I've virtually lost anyway_… “I farkle," she repeated. “Your move." Super Collie laid her head in her arms, not wishing to witness her final defeat.
“Farkle?" Death inquired, sitting suddenly upright. “As you wish. Now…" She moved her hand over several black opal pieces, her fingertips brushing one after another. “Let's see… mmmm…" Several moments passed as Death contemplated her next move, her expression gradually becoming more clouded and less confident. Occasionally she would begin to move a token to another station before shaking her head and replacing it. As the moments ticked by with no announcement, Super Collie gradually raised her head to discover Death muttering to herself with a look of extreme consternation on her face. Hastily scanning the board, Super Collie quickly determined the cause: all of Death's pieces were in optimal position to block Super Collie from approaching endgame, but due to Super Collie discarding her own move by farkle Death was forced to give Super Collie an opening. But would any further move result in defeat anyway? Which defence would Death have to cast away?
“You must make a move, Death," Super Collie prompted mockingly, allowing herself some small satisfaction at Death's predicament.
“Warren Street," Death replied quickly, regaining some composure as she moved a token. “Enjoy your small victory, it will be your last."
“Bond Street," Super Collie answered, moving one of her own.
“Westminster."
“Chalk Farm."
“Bank." Death's token lightly nudged a sapphire-and-gold token off from its position on the Central Line. “Another piece down, and you're in danger of knid again. You really should have chosen a game you have some skill at."
“Oh, I don't know," Super Collie shakily replied, “I've managed to last this long against you… surely that must count." Spotting an opening, she picked up one of her three remaining tokens with trembling fingers and placed it next to a black token on the Metropolitan Line. “Neasden – and now you're shunted! And stuck!"
“I don't think – oh…" Death's retort trailed off as she realised the truth of Super Collie's words. The piece by which she had chased Super Collie's token across the board since her farkle was now wedged into the infamous Dollis Hill loop – and to make matters worse, all but one of her other pieces were placed in boris because of it! Her carefully laid trap for Super Collie was disintegrating around her ears! “Dollis Hill", Death grudgingly replied.
“Angel", Super Collie countered, moving a second of her pieces clear of Death's army of tokens.
“Dollis Hill," Death fumed, sliding a second token onto the Metropolitan station.
“Covent Garden." Another sapphire token cleared onto the open spaces of the District Line.
“Dollis Hill." The glare in Death's eyes lit the board like two angry searchlights.
“Russell Square!"
“Dollis Hill." Another black token joined its fellows.
“Paddington!" A sapphire token sped across the board.
“Dollis Hill!" Death almost slammed her next token through the board into the table in frustration.
“London Bridge!" Super Collie's voice rose with excitement.
“Camden Town!" Death desperately cried, seizing the opportunity with her last unblocked token to escape the trap of Dollis Hill.
“Baker Street!"
“Oxford Circus!" A sapphire token was suddenly stopped in its tracks by Death's block, but –
“MORNINGTON CRESCENT!" Super Collie shouted, playing her last unblocked token directly to the hallowed station, clear for Death to see. “It's Mornington Crescent! I've won! I've won!"
* * * *
Death glared at the board. “Fuck," she grudgingly conceded. “You're right – Mornington Crescent it is."
“That's right! You have to send me back to the living now, Death – that was the agreement!"
“Very well. By the terms of our contest, I concede", Death announced sombrely. “You have bested me in a contest of skill, and have proven yourself deserving to be returned to the sunlit lands of the living." The black jackal stood up, and firmly clasped the astonished collie's hands. “Well done."
“So... what do I do now?" Super Collie carefully asked, still scarcely able to believe that Death had accepted the result with so little rancour.
“Lie down on your back over there, sister," Death commanded, her voice this time brooking no disobedience. Super Collie nodded, and carefully lowered herself down on the unearthly ground in the appointed position, clutching fiercely onto her shepherd's staff.
“What now?"
“Wait..." Death stood astride her, then slowly the black jackal lowered herself over top of Super Collie, straddling her on all fours with her jet-black mammaries brushing over the collie's chest. Super Collie started at the touch, forcing herself to lie still as instructed, unwilling to risk Death changing her mind.
“Wait..." The piercing glow in Death's eyes slowly faded, and her stern visage slowly transformed into a look approaching adoration. “Strange..." Death whispered in a voice sounding like Zalika's, “I can feel inside me what the one you know as Daughter Night feels for you..." She gently kissed each of Super Collie's breasts, before placing a long loving kiss on her lips.
Underneath, Super Collie watched in amazement – was Death actually making out with her? “She's... different," she ventured. “But... do you mean she -"
Death placed a finger on her lips. “I can't say directly - but I can say her feelings for you are strong," she murmured, gently kissing Super Collie's face. “And they are good feelings, Te Hepara Kaitiaki... there are very few about which Zalika can say that. Don't worry..." Gentle fingers reached out and tenderly closed Super Collie's eyes, and as the jackal continued to kiss and caress her the collie's body began to shimmer and dissolve. Within moments, Super Collie's form had vanished – and as Death rose to her feet a snigger sounded from the darkness.
“I bet you enjoyed doing that to her – but don't you get tired of losing to those challenges?" the voice asked sarcastically. “I mean, come on, you're the personification of Death for goodness sake -"
“I don't need lectures from the likes of you, Zalika," Death retorted, her form shimmering in the darkness and transforming into that of a muscular – and very buff – black jackal male, naked except for a golden belt and collar. “Besides, do you honestly think that if that girl didn't have a destiny she would have a hope in hell of beating me in anything?"
“Then why bother?" Zalika asked as she strode towards Death, her appearance being identical to that which Death had presented to Super Collie. “Why the charade – why not just clip her ticket and send her back?"
“She had to prove herself willing to risk it all, to prove herself worthy," Death replied. He shrugged. “Besides, I've got to pass the time somehow..."
* * * *
Where will Super Collie come back to life? Will she defeat the evil Doktor Catlove? Will her life insurance pay out? And does Death make out with just anyone?
_Join us for our next thrilling instalment of “Super Collie Adventures" in Part XII: Childhood's Legacy! _