FSE

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It was the kind of idyllic paradise you wouldn't mind getting lost in; lush foliage trembled in cool air, birds sang pleasant songs in praise of the excess that came with summer, and the sun peaked through walls of green leaves, speckling the grass and soil with rays of light. The two men would have certainly enjoyed it had they not been hanging by their underwear.

"How, uh, do we get out of this?"

Harper spoke with the careful reluctance of someone who knew they were about to burst into tears. The athletic rabbit stared down at the equipment below, present but out of reach. Leather cuirass, boots, bracers, everything that wasn't deemed worth taking piled at his paws as if he were a warlord accepting tribute from his throne. His throne wasn't an ornate chair or high seat, though, but a sturdy tree limb, and by the Gods, he wanted off of it. Harper was naked, save his briefs, which pulled so tightly around his crotch and up his ass that it didn't leave much to the imagination, outlining his cock and crushed balls with more detail than he was comfortable with. Hanging from a nearby limb beside the rabbit was his co-adventurer and mage—a lithe deer with maroon fur and amber eyes: Corran. He was just as naked as his partner, robes discarded and out of reach.

"I'm...working on it."

The stag spoke through gritted teeth. Fingers twitched symbols in the air, energy crackled between fingertips. He focused hard. The wind blew. He groaned as his body listed, and the underwear that cut into his ass shifted, friction flaring up a burn that was almost as bad as the pain at his crotch. His balls, stuck between the unrelenting fabric of his briefs and his own body, were crushed. He blinked away tears as he attempted to concentrate on summoning up something, anything, that would get them out of this nightmare. Magic required focus, however. Even basic spells demanded your full attention, and pain was greedy for it.

Still, Corran tried. He traced symbols, spoke the old words, and magic sparked like match sticks striking fire.

"Fuck, I can't take this!"

Harper whined, clutching at his poor orb, and the mage's concentration snapped like a twig. His spell fizzled into colorful magic dust.

"HARPER!"

Without thinking, the deer reached out to his friend, grabbed his leg, and tugged.

Harper's scream was shrill, unmanly. Corran immediately retracted his hand.

"O-oh fuck, sorry! You broke my spell. I got frustra—"

Harper drew his foot back and caught his friend between the legs.

Both adventurers hung there in relative silence, clutching themselves and crying, hating each other for as long as their balls ached. Time passed, and the sun between the leaves settled into pale moonlight. Corran couldn't even imagine attempting magic after that, his focus was ruined for the foreseeable future. Harper, for his part, couldn't imagine trusting the deer after he pulled that stunt. If anything, he wanted to kick him in crotch again. But whenever he moved, the fabric bunched between his cheeks shifted, and the friction was almost as bad as the pain at his front. Wedgies, he decided, were cruel things.

He'd still give Corran an atomic once they got out of this. Bastard.

---

"Hey, boys!"

The bull grinned at them with all the satisfaction of a job well done. Orloh, a guard they hired for some extra muscle, turned out to be a bandit. A bandit who turned on them the instant Corran let it slip they had a stash of hidden treasure. He was tall, much taller than either of them, with muscle that could only be earned through cracking skulls. He didn't bother wearing armor, preferring instead to fight in just a loincloth. He was the kind of tough guy that seemed like a great idea to have around after a few drinks.

"You ready to tell me where you hid the gold, or should I come back later?"

Harper snarled, defiant, vengeful, exposing his bucked rabbit teeth in gesture that might have been intimidating from anything else. He glared at Orloh with the kind of legendary hatred that started generations of conflict, then sighed.

"It's buried by the old mill in Lark, now let us down!"

The bull chuckled.

"Aye, I will. But it'll take some time to get out there and verify you aren't lying. You'll stay here till then."

"WHAT!?" Harper roared, balling his fists, as if he could do much of anything hanging from a tree.

"It's three days there and back!"

"Please!" Corran begged, "we can't take it anymore!"

Orloh shrugged, casually walked up the two men, and made as if he was going to unhook Harper from his tree limb. Instead, he took hold of Harper's legs. The rabbit's eyes went wide.

"No!" Was all he managed before Orloh tugged, the mighty limb bent, and the rabbit's scream startled a flock of birds in a tree not far away.

"STOPSTOPSTOPGODSPLEASESTOOOOP!"

"Stop? I thought you wanted down?"

"I DON'T! I DOOOOON'T!"

Orloh let go before he turned to Corran with a smile.

"Uh, I'm fine waiting."

"That's what I thought."

He tugged on the deer's legs anyway.