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BY DR. BAGHEERA D’SOUZA

APRIL 26th, 2001

The rut is a little different when you’re a homosexual. It is all a matter of pheromones; they heighten a therian male’s libido, (with luck) he impregnates a therian female who responds with pheromones of her own, and the feeling subsides. That second step is unavailable to people like us which leads to a longer period of increased arousal. And failure to satisfy such needs can cause anything from irritability to chronic damage to sexual performance to attachment issues. Therefore, it falls to partners, boyfriends, husbands to said rutters to satisfy them during this time.

Now, while you may have heard some this from school or your community, the sad reality is that there remain many misconceptions around this phenomenon. Our nation isn’t even fifty years from a State that suppressed homosexuality, consequently, a lot of stigma and misinformation lingers to the modern day. I believe it is our responsibility as elders to be Gurus to this new generation of homosexuals. So, here I offer four tips that might make navigating the rut easier from the “non-rutter” perspective.

Consent

There’s little need to explain the importance of sexual consent, but the rut can change how and when you may want to give or take it away. While the rutter’s increased sexual appetite is a given, you may also find yourself “in the mood” more often. This happens due to yet unexplored effects of those pheromones from earlier. The key point here is that, depending on both of your species, you may find yourself almost as aroused as your rutting partner.

This can lead to moments of heightened passion at the most inconvenient times. A piece of bad news or a fight can sour your mood while that strong, mutual attraction remains. For moments like this, I recommend ceding some of that refusal if you can. I say this due to the serious repercussions of abstinence during a rut, but please understand that I discourage you from bottling up any serious emotions for his sake (or your own). What I suggest here is reevaluating the severity of smaller rifts that occur between you before taking away consent.

Something else that might occur are “nightly emissions,” where your partner—possibly, not fully awake—may try to initiate sex with you. This situation can be dealt with through preemptive communication, but I encourage you to keep an open mind about if it doesn’t bring either of you any harm. For those who wish to avoid this possibility altogether, the easiest suggestion is to not share a bed.

Hygiene

The importance of cleaning his erogenous areas may be self evident to the average homosexual, but the rut will bring new considerations when it comes to cleanliness. In a period of such heightened sexual activity, you and your rutting partner may wish to have sex in places and times you wouldn’t otherwise. If you aren’t careful, your activities will lead to damage or stains to clothing and furniture, or worse inflammation and infections all over your body, not just where you are most active.

So comes my second recommendation: keep a clean environment around you and avoid wearing unclean clothes. If you are like me, this may seem obvious, but additional cleaning may prove necessary depending on how, where and how much more sex you will be engaging in during this period. And if you are not like me, my recommendation goes double.

A couple of ways to keep you and your partner sexually healthy (in and out of rut) are changing bed sheets and towels regularly, wearing looser undergarments, and doing laundry more often. Furthermore, I have heard from doctors that a good way to prevent infections is to drink plenty of water; urination before and after intercourse is one way your body can purge harmful agents. I understand very well these suggestions may lead to financial strain, but I insist you try them in whatever scale you are capable. There are plenty of opportunities to make money in this life, you have only one body.

Rut-buddies

The idea is exactly what it sounds: you invite someone (or some people) from outside your relationship to share the rutter’s libido. This is a role often performed by friends or acquaintances, but it is far from rare for couples to seek an escort service to help with this.

Some of you might want to reject this idea outright, however I urge you to keep an open mind once more. I can assure you now that there will be times when your partner may need that release but you are physically (or otherwise) unavailable to satisfy him. Waiting may be a valid option, but I remind of you of the issues I have pointed out earlier when it comes to abstinence during this period.

For the undecided, I offer the following idea: no one, not even your partner, knows ahead of time how powerfully his libido will increase during the rut. Some might be incapable or unfit to receive his partner’s thirst on their own. If you have someone else take some of that brunt, you can also spare the both of you from health complications that may arise from the constant sexual activity.

It should go without saying at this point, but that everything pertaining to this suggestion must be agreed upon by both of you and your rutting partner. Compromise is important, but so is your relationship’s health.

Exploration

Even with all these challenges, the rut is not solely a moment for worry and precaution. Sex has the incredible power to connect people, and the rut is a time when you and your partner will grow closer because of it. Whether you consider sexual activity a romantic gesture or a simply recreation, I guarantee you will find yourself closer to your partner by the end.

This makes the rut an excellent time for you to learn a little more about each other’s sexual preferences. Do you have a fantasy you wanted to try? Is there something about your partner’s lovemaking that you wish he did differently? A position you have considered but never brought up? This is a good time for exploring your desires together.

The sterilised heterosexuality forced on most of us growing up has limited our idea of what sex even is. Thankfully, ours is a community of “deviants” who can attest to have tried something “taboo” at least once. If you have no answers to the questions I posed above, I recommend you ask around; maybe something will pique your interest.

When it comes to fetishes, however, there is one final warning I must give. Orgasm denial is a kink quite prevalent among homosexuals; some may even think the idea of denying climax to lustful rutter especially titillating. I tell you now: do not do this. The dangers of not fulfilling a rut have been frequent in this article for a reason. I can regretfully offer a tale or two of how that can turn out poorly. If you won’t take any other advice from this article, take this one.

After reading this, you may have become afraid of the rut with all of its rules and consequences, however, I do hope you also found this enlightening in some way. As I said from the top, a lot of mystery and fabrication remains popular when it comes to the rut and the only way undo those lies in working together. With our partners, with our friends, and with our communities.

I have been the partner to a rutter for over thirty years now. In my attempts to keep him satisfied during this time, we have tried everything in this article and more. Some of it worked for us, some did not, it will be the same for you. He has been on rut blockers (which we are blessed to be able to afford) for the last five years now, and doctors say he will be aging out of the rut soon. The rut gave us wonderful and scary times, and all this knowledge has helped keep us safe and healthy, which is why I impart it on you now.

Perhaps putting this out there might make my husband embarrassed. Or, maybe, he’ll finish reading this, sweep me off my feet, kiss me in all the right places, and tell me something too lewd for this article.

About the author : Dr. Bagheera D’Souza is a writer, politician, advocate and Gajahkshetra’s first doctorate holder. After his participation in the Therian Independence Movement in the 70s, D’Souza graduated in France and brought back home ideas that helped develop the country. His marriage was the the first homosexual union recognised by a modern sovereign state in Asia and helped relax LGBT restrictions in countries all over the world. He plans to soon retire and enjoy private life with his husband, but not before making sure the homosexual community has an unshakeable security in the laws and culture of this country.