FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Christmas time.

That part of the year where Jack Frost nipped at one’s exposed skin if they dared step outside.

For a certain forty-year-old father, it meant that he finally had the chance to spend some quality time with his son; even if it felt like his fingers were going to turn blue.

The hopping piston of a six-year-old could barely contain himself as both he and his father stood at a crosswalk. All that stood between them and the outdoor mall was a digital sign that printed an orange palm that forbade walking forward.

“Wait,” said the sign over and over again. “Wait.”

The child’s anxiety forced his feet to hop. “Come on, come on!”

Dad just couldn’t help but chuckle. “Relax, son. We’ll be there soon enough.” Vibrations tickle at the pocket of his gray wool coat; it was his phone. “Hello?”

“Hi, honey!” His wife. “Are you almost back yet? I miss you!”

Dad chuckles. “What? But we left not too long ago. How can you already miss us?”

“Oh, you know how I get around the holidays! Just get back as soon as you can, okay?”

God, he loved her so much. “Will do, honey.”

“I’m serious! Love you!”

“I love you too-oh! The light just changed! Talk to you when I get home, okay?” He advanced along with his son.

“Okay! Stay safe!”

“Wouldn’t dream of doing anything el-”

“CAAAAAAAAAR!”

Droves of people dove out of the street to avoid the screeching hunk of speedy death barreling towards dad’s one and only son.

‘Shit!’ Dad thought. “DANNY!”

He didn’t dare check his strength when he pushed his son off the road.

Little Danny, at least, was safe.

The same could not be said for dad.

He wasn’t even conscious by the time his bloody and battered body hit the pavement with a bone-chilling thud.

“Hello?” Asked his wife. “Dan? What was that?? Dan!?”

And as for his child, how could he not scream his lungs out after what he just witnessed.

Darkness. At least for the moment.

…no, wait. Now he was moving forward against his will.

The first thing he could make out was Earth’s magnificent blue aura. Then, slowly, the red tint of Mars made an appearance.

Then Jupiter.

Uranus.

The constellations, gradually, tore its stars apart until even the big dipper was unrecognizable.

All while other stars passed him by like they were specs of dust blowing in a violent storm.

The sun wasn’t even a big circle anymore. It was a dot that grew fainter and fainter, until-

Dan gasps awake, and immediately sits up.

Where was his son?

Why was it warm now?

Where was that car?

But one second of consciousness was enough to tell him that he wasn’t on that street anymore.

Tall shelves of books surround him from all directions. In the middle, there’s some weird circle of white light.

That is currently where Dan sat, and-

“WHAT THE!?”

His arms and legs! They were fuzzy and looked of manilla!

Fortunately, he still had his fingers!

…well, on his hands, anyway. His feet looked like a dog’s.

Was he man, or beast?

“Oh, hello!” A woman’s cheerful voice greets him from a doorway behind him. She-

Forced Dan to back up as far as he could. “BLAZES!” But walking proved awkward on his new feet. “Oof!” He collapsed on his butt as soon as he stood.

She was tall! Very tall!

Likely twice his height!

Unlike him, fur had not taken over her entire being. A fluffy cloud of hair atop her head sags to the point where Dan can’t make out what her eye color is. It was pitch black, unlike the goat-like ears that reach out and tilt down ever so slightly.

But her most remarkable feature had to be the skin—almost the darkest a brown could possibly be to the human eye—that sparkled like she was made of obsidian. The only thing darker was the plump pair of lips that smiled at the smaller man.

“My name is Camilla.” She bows using the hand that wasn’t holding a golden staff. As she enters the room, her weird hoof legs just couldn’t help but show off the golden ankle-wear that resembled that of roman sandals. “I am the keeper of the Arrival, the building that captures brave souls who have met their end.”

She stops; and with her, the pure white toga-like fabric covering her body sways to a standstill.

Dan furrows his brows. “You talk like I’m-”

She nods. “Dead, yes.”

“So, then. This is…heaven?”

She shakes her head. “I’m afraid not. It is a realm different from the one you came from, but it is not the afterlife. You could think of it as a second chance at life.”

“A second chance?” He shakes his head. “I-I have a family! A life that I love! I don’t want a second chance! I want to go back!”

Her posture jerks ever-so-slightly. “Unfortunately, we are both left in undesirable situations.”

And her tone. It was a bit lower all of a sudden.

Dan’s eyes narrow. “Explain yourself. Why am I here?”

“It is as I said before, the Arrival has deemed your soul courageous. As a result, it was pulled here instead of heading for what you would consider ‘heaven.’”

“What!?” Dan’s new claws reach out in front of him. “Why!?”

Camilla taps her staff on the ground. Between her and Dan, a near-white hologram forms from seemingly nothing; giving off hints of blue in its mesmerizing glow. The first thing Dan sees is a giant dark creature with the skull of a human, and the horns of a bull.

“This is The Destroyer.” All around him, the light and beautiful flora quickly exploded in dark wither. “Long ago, he cast a spell in what used to be the most advanced nation of our world. We call this spell ‘the corruption.’ Any living creature that comes into contact with it immediately becomes his slave.”

Under The Destroyer, relatively infinitesimal-sized knights in shining armor went limp as they found that their protection took on a shadow color. When they rose once again, their swords turned on what Dan perceived as more beast people; ones who ran for their lives with haunting screams.

Camilla continued. “The greatest warriors of the time were unfortunate enough to meet that fate.”

As upset as Dan was about his own problems, he had to admit that the hologram was oddly mesmerizing.

But he said nothing, and allowed her to finish. “Fortunately, they were not able to defeat the entirety of our military. But, their strength still resulted in heavy casualties despite being heavily outnumbered. And ever since then, we have faced severe losses in our attempts to defeat the corruption once and for all.” Camilla’s attention flicks to Dan. “That is where you Arrivals come in; warriors with just spirits that do not freeze in the face of death.” With another tap from her staff, the hologram fades away in static. “I know that you have objections to this, but please know that we have no other choice. The survival of our world depends on-”

Dan shook his head. “I don’t care. Just send me to heaven so I can wait for my family.” But Camilla’s nervous face reeked of hiding something. “…what?”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Fine. Then I’ll just kill myself.”

“That is not an option.”

“Not an option?” Dog feet be damned; Dan awkwardly wobbles past her, and out the large wooden door. “We’ll see about that!”

She didn’t move; not even to look back at him.

There was only a thin strip of land around this floating building. Beyond the edge, he could see several more buildings suspended in the light milk-lime fog.

But below him? He couldn’t even see the bottom.

Perfect.

“If I can’t see my family, then I have no reason to be here!”

He jumps, and closes his eyes.

“Find someone else to be your errand boy!”

It was funny; the sensation of air tickling the fur all over his body.

Is this what the family dog felt like when he stuck his head out the window?

Probably not. Feelings of suicide were likely not mixed in his head.

Hopefull-

“Oof!” Something hard smacks him right in the…well, everything in front of him. One eye open reveals that he was once again back in the room that he’d woken up in. “…huh?? W-what!?”

“Welcome back,” Camilla says. “Did you enjoy your flight?”

“But I-I jumped! I should be dead!”

“As I tried to tell you, that is not an option. If you die, you spawn right back here.”

“So…” His angry brown eyes stare daggers at Camilla. “I’m stuck here!?”

She nods. “Yes. You have been blessed by the Awakening-”

“Take it off,” Dan calmly demands.

“That’s not-”

“I said TAKE IT OFF!” He grips at the fabric at her knees. “I DON’T WANT IT!”

He was now close enough to vaguely make out golden eyes that radiate pity. “Please calm yourself-”

“NO! FUCK YOU!” He scoots backs a bit, and points up at her with one of his black claws. “YOU BRING ME HERE AGAINST MY WILL, AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO- TO- NO!”

“If you really care about your family, then you will calm yourself and listen to me.” That shut Dan up. Albeit reluctantly. “If the Awakening can reach your land, then so can The Destroyer.” And that widened Dan’s now despaired eyes. “Should our land fall, so will yours. I hope you understand the consequences of such an event.”

“Wait…so…” He shakes his head. “Y-” He covered his short snout with one of his large hands.

He was able to push his son out of the way of that car.

But, should that walking Armageddon reach Earth, then-

The white winter wonderland of Christmas would make way for an age of eternal darkness.

A ruthless army of ghouls would hunt everyone to extinction; especially his family.

He didn’t want to imagine his wife’s blood-curdling scream as she tries to shield their only son from a corrupted sword.

And all he’d be able to do is just sit here and let it happen.

His fists clench just pondering the horrid sight.

“Do you have the ability to undo my immortality?”

Her posture stiffens. “Awakened, I-”

“Answer the question. Can you undo it, yes or no?”

She sighs. “According to ancient texts, such an option is possible. However, it is not what you think it is.”

There was a mirror on the far side of the small circular room. Upon closer inspection, he took notice of upright ears bigger than his hands; and a long canine tail to match. In addition, oddly enough, he had a full head of brown hair that ran down like he was part of a Japanese boy band.

He wasn’t naked, fortunately. Though he was only covered by big black shorts that sink to his knees.

“If that’s your way of saying yes, then I will help you on one condition.”

Lord, even seeing his words come out of a maw was weird.

“I feel like I know what this condition is given your previous-”

“If I do this, I want you to undo the immortality.”

His stare was serious; a contrast to the unease in Camilla’s pursed lips.

“Listen to me-”

“Those are my terms.” He awkwardly wobbles up to her. “Will you undo the immortality if I kill The Destroyer? Yes or no?”

He didn’t like the delay in her voice.

Was she waiting to see if he was bluffing?

“Well?” Dan asked.

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“More than anything.”

Her lips were crinkled shut with anxiety.

Just what was she so nervous about? He was the one begging for an end to his ‘life,’ not her.

“Before I answer your question, you should know that this is no mere ‘undo immortality’ ritual,” Camilla says. “It is a punishment reserved for the worst of offenders. For you see: not only is your immortality undone, but your soul is destroyed as well.”

It felt like the world around Dan was shaking up and down; like gravity couldn’t decide if he should fly to the ceiling, or fall to his knees. “So…”

“You will not be able to go to heaven, or even hell,” she says. “Your existence ends right then and there.”

The wobbling Dan didn’t need help falling on his hands and knees, though the despair certainly helped sweep him off his digitigrade legs.

“So…what?” He could see his eyes fog up with moisture. “You rob me of everything I love, and you just expect me to help you…?”

She takes a knee, and places a reassuring hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Arrival-”

He smacks her hand away. “DON’T TOUCH ME!”

Along with the slap, a wave of ice spreads from the epicenter of his attack and refuses to stop until it takes her entire arm.

The sight, of course, shocked Dan.

But then it only fueled the rage in his heart.

With a mighty scream, the short fennec man makes the best of his new legs and claws as he wobbles over to her.

But, before he could touch her, a mundane tap of her golden staff to the ground sent him flying towards the wall.

The books that fell on his head only added the greatest insult to injury after he flopped to the ground from the wall.

That was until a mere flex of her thin frozen arm shattered the ice.

It was like she was never attacked to begin with.

“Your attacks are misdirected,” Camilla says with hints of aggression. “The Destroyer is the reason for your arrival. Were it not for him, there would be no need for you to have come in the first place.” Another tap of her staff lifts the books from Dan’s dizzy body. “And have you already forgotten that he is on a path to your world as well?” Her hooves click as she makes her way over to him. “I am giving you the chance to save the ones you love from certain death.”

Again, she waves around her magic staff. This time, however, Dan can slowly feel all of his injuries turn back the clock.

“Now,” Camilla continues. “I am sorry that you can never see your family again. I truly am. But you are not the only one with loved ones forever lost. There are many times where I wish that I could turn back the clock just so that I could see my dearest love once again. But I have a job to do, and so do you.” Once more, she kneels down to the small sitting man. “Because if we do nothing to stop The Destroyer, then even their memories will permanently fade away. Can you at least agree with me that that is an undesirable outcome?”

Despite her hostile tone, she extends a helpful hand out to him.

“…wait,” Dan says with leered eyes. “I thought we never died here. How could your ‘dearest love’ leave you forever?”

“…” An extended palm turned into a balled fist. “The Destroyer can eat our souls. It is how he continues to live.”

Odd that The Destroyer wasn’t automatically immortal himself.

Maybe there was a threshold he didn’t meet.

But for the time being, he felt as if he shouldn’t pry on that topic any further.

Now he was starting to feel bad.

“I see,” Dan says. “I apologize. It hadn’t dawned on me that you had losses of your own here.”

“It is fine. It was ages ago.”

“But it feels like it was just yesterday, right?” …yep. Her silence told him everything. “I lost my mother when I was seven. My family did a good job of making me forget the pain while they were in my presence. But one second without them, and…” Dan shrugs. “…I can still see the casket. Even remember how peaceful she looked lying there.” He shakes his head. “Sorry, I don’t know why I told you this out of the blue.”

Where the hell did that come from, he wondered?

He’s only known her for a few minutes.

“Even in death, my husband was beautiful. His soul was like a rainbow set ablaze when The Destroyer ripped it out of him by force.” Her one-legged kneel turned into two. “I remember the relieved shine he had in his crystal red eyes. It was like he was telling me that he wasn’t afraid of what was happening. He was just happy that I would be okay.” Her hands unite at the groove between her thighs, though they looked a bit tight. “There is not a day where that scene does not replay in my head. No night where the ghost of his loving touch doesn’t tease my body with the memory of what once was. If given the chance, I would surrender everything I have just to see him one last time; even if for only one small moment.” Now her eyes seemed to be focusing on nothing. “At least enough to feel his touch once more.”

A small blast of air comes out of Dan’s black, wet nose. “I feel the same way about my wif-”

Her cold hands rest atop his fuzzy mitts.

Additionally, she seems to bend forward in a bow until her snout touches her hands. This reveals the stubby fluff of a tail she had further back.

“I realize that I am asking a lot out of you, Arrival…but I don’t see any other way of setting my husband free…” Her voice was shakier than a windy bridge made of rope. “His soul has become a part of The Destroyer…so he can’t even properly die!” Her hands stiffen. “My power; My body; I don’t care what I have to give you…I just want him to rest in the peace he deserves…” Her head cranes up, revealing golden eyes stained with tears. “So please…help me…”

Her glance of pity from earlier made sense now.

It wasn’t pity at all.

It was sympathy born from experience.

Both of them were feeling the very same thing.

…no. She’s likely been holding this in for a while now. It’s the only explanation for why she just exploded.

One small prick, and boom; just like a balloon.

Just looking at her pained eyes reminded him of the loving look his wife gave him every time he woke up.

Of the shine in her eyes when she told him she was pregnant.

And certainly of the moment they met eighteen years ago.

His life hadn’t been the best up until that point. Everything felt pointless; to where he didn’t even bother to brush his teeth.

But she didn’t care. No matter how much he complained, or gave up, she was always there to pick him up and pour more gas in his tank.

And nothing he did was ever weird. All of his eccentricities were appreciated with a gentle smile; not shunned, or used as justification to ignore him.

She was the first to ever make him feel seen.

The first to paint the world with colors that weren’t gray.

The first to make him realize what love felt like.

And he was never going to see her again.

Now Camilla’s tears weren’t the only ones dropping. His were starting to mix with hers.

“Can I really not see my family again…?” Dan chokes up.

But the question leaves her unable to look at him anymore. Her river of tears forces her eyes to shut. “I’m sorry…”

And his own eyes follow suit.

Neither one could even speak anymore. Their heaving and sighs of misery didn’t allow for even one word to escape from their maws.

He was never going to see his family again.

He was never going to see his family again.

It was all The Destroyer’s fault.

Even if he dies, he can’t go to heaven.

Even if The Destroyer dies, Dan can’t see his family.

Days, weeks, years, decades, centuries, and millennia will pass. His family: eventually nothing but a distant memory.

He didn’t want that.

He wanted to see his family again.

He wanted to see his son ask Santa for presents.

He wanted to know if his second child was a boy or a girl.

He wanted to see them smile; grow up; love; ache; mature.

He wanted to grow old with his wife.

He wanted to see her writing career take off.

He wanted to just open his eyes, and have all of this be a bad dream.

Yes.

He’s going to open his eyes, and his wife is going to smile a good morning to him. Like always.

Here we go.

And…

…

Camilla’s sniffling.

This isn’t a dream.

It’s real.

They really are gone.

Forever.

He has NOTHING to remember them by.

No photos, clothes, or even a hair.

Nothing.

He has nothing.

He hopes for nothing.

He thinks of…

…

Storm Clouds. Up above.

He can see The Destroyer.

In one punch, his skull turns to dust. But that does nothing to the rage brewing in Dan’s heart.

The skull reforms, but Dan just pulverizes it under his knuckles again.

And again.

And again.

And The Destroyer is screaming in agony every time he’s killed, too. It’s better that way.

Because he wasn’t going to die until Dan was satisfi-

“Ow ow ow!” Camilla pulls back. “Awakened! Watch the claws!”

Dan blinks fast. But, he’s not quite in the apologetic mood. Not when he was this pissed. “We have to kill him to stop him, right?”

Camilla nods. “Yes.”

“Good.”

“Then…” She stands, wiping a tear from her right eye. “…I take it you’re in?”

Once again, her smooth hand offers Dan some assistance.

Help he gladly accepts with a loud clap. “You’re goddamn right.” And up he stood, eyes full of angry determination. “Because he’s a dead man- whoa!” He had to take hold of one of Camilla’s legs just to stay up. “…one step at a time. And uh…sorry about the contact. I’m still-”

She waves a dismissive hand. “Do not worry. You are being more respectful than…others.” The hand that calls for the staff to fly right into its palm. “I will be more than happy to support you. No matter how long it takes.”

Hopefully it won’t take longer than a few months, Dan hopes. He wants to go to heaven as soon as possible.

Then, and only then, would he be reunited with his family. Eventually.