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The office was filled with the tedious noises of keyboard typing and phone calls. It was the same noise as yesterday and the countless days before that as well as the many days ahead. A dull repetitive cycle that can drive people insane and yet Benny enjoyed it. The repetition of noise and tasks put the leopard at ease. A simple unchanging world where he needn't worry about anything. No surprises, no upheaval, just an ordinary days that lasted forever.

That was until Marcus, Benny's friend and coworker, dropped a can of soda and vending machine snacks onto the leopard's desk. The cat only looked at it for a second before turning to his friend, “What's this?”

“Trying to make you feel better,” Marcus responded.

Benny looked at the gift for a second before turning back to his coworker puzzled, “but I'm not upset?”

The bear raised his eyebrow, “huh? But didn't you just break up with Patricia yesterday?”

The comment made it clicked for the leopard, “oh that? I'm not upset over that.” Benny grabbed the can and snack and placed it to the side. “we weren't really a couple or anything, just going on a few dates.”

Marcus leaned on the cubicle wall, "that usually means you are dating someone, Benny.”

“I don't really think so. It would be more accurate to say we were just kind of testing the waters a bit and well, we found out we’re not meant for each other.”

Marcus could only sigh, “and to think, I thought you would be better than you were in highschool. Seems you can't shake off the title as the worst boyfriend of our class. I had hoped this time it would work out for you.”

Benny turned away from the bear to hide the frustration that slowly formed on his face, “Look it's just…difficult for me.” Yeah, just difficult. The leopard moved his hands back to the keyboard hoping that it would bury the unpleasant emotions that slowly built in the his chest.

The bear let out a huff, “Come on, Benny. You'll be thirty in a couple of months and you've never been in a serious relationship before. Isn't it time for you to start opening up to romance in your life? Are you okay with being single your whole life?”

Benny's hands froze as he heard the question. For a moment the leopard considered screaming at his friend for the question. But he at least knew that Marcus didn't deserve that response.“No,” was all the leopard said through gritted teeth.

Marcus could sense something was off with his friend,“Benn-”

“Thanks for the drink and snack though,” the leopard said, in a tone of voice that made it clear that the conversation was over.

Marcus opened his mouth but say nothing, realizing he messed up. Instead the bear left Benny's cubicle quietly and quickly.

As the leopard typed away, Marcus's question echoed in his head. Do I truly not want someone in my life? Oh course i fucking wanted someone. The leopard clenched his fists, fighting the urge to slam it down on his keyboard. Why is it so difficult for me? Benny wanted a partner. He wanted one even as a kid before puberty even hit him. He wanted a married life, a partner he could love with his whole being, maybe kids if he and his partner felt up for it. But when the question of who this mysterious partner would be, Benny's mind went blank. He should have had some idea of what he wanted by now, but still something always bagged in the back of his mind at every date. A feeling that could only be described as being wrong. No matter who he went out with, that sense of wrong hung over him like a cloud. Benny thought his standard might be too high and should just accept he might never find love, but a different feeling appears in its place.

And yet the unpleasant feeling persisted. The unpleasant feeling that gathered in the pit of his stomach every time he thinks about his life or love. A feeling of both dread and loneliness. At first he pushed such feelings aside, they distracted him from whatever he was doing. But the feeling is getting harder to ignore. It kept him up at night and made him lose his appetite on occasions. This gut wretched feeling that fills him is slowly driving him mad. Benny blamed the bear for feeling this way, setting him up with dates that never went well and sending every dating app on every device he owed. That anger shifted towards his parents, who encouraged him to go on dates regardless of what he felt for the person and not teaching him how to be a good boyfriend. But the leopard knew better. That anger should be directed at himself, for something he cannot explain or understand about himself. Why am I like this?

The rest of the work day passed slowly for the leopard, having him stay an extra hour to finish it all. By the time he clocked out, he was thankful that when he returned home, his books and shows would be better at burying the unpleasant feeling than work ever could. He considered calling his friend to apologize earlier, but couldn't bring himself to pull up his contact. Instead, Benny sent a text. Marcus i am sorry I got frustrated with you. I know you were trying to help.

As the leopard approached his apartment’s door, something caught his eye. Sticking out of his door was an envelope, held up to eye level between the door and its frame. Benny looked at the other doors and saw nothing out of place on them. “Weird, is it from the leading office?” Benny grabbed the letter as he stepped inside his apartment. He could feel his heart race as his anxiety made him imagine rather upsetting things that the letter might tell. He tossed the letter on the table and changed out of his work uniform to a plain green tee-shirt and some shorts.

As the leopard picked up the letter, Benny noticed something, the envelope was blank. No stamps, no letters, and no ink, just a plain white envelope as though someone dropped it off themselves. “If it was the complex, they would have at least written the apartment number on it. So who left it?” The leopard couldn't think about who could have possibly set this letter, but a part of him was nervous about what could be inside it. “Better to be safe than sorry,” he muttered as he stepped into the kitchen.

But just before he tossed the letter in the trash, he stopped himself. The awful feeling returned, pooling in his gut. The leopard couldn't explain it, but it felt as though this feeling whispered in his ear, saying only two words. Open it. Before he could think about rejecting the demand, Benny's fingers slipped under the flap and opened the envelope, pulling its contents out for him to see.

In Benny's hands was a flyer. The design of it was unremarkable in the leopard’s eyes, like it was made by someone who had no idea how to design one with shapes and colors haphazardly thrown on the page. The text however was much more clearer. Come Saturday to Andro’s Bathhouse on XX/XX for the monthly species special. This night's theme is Feline Night, all this can goes meow and purrs get in for a low price for a purrrfect night of steamy fun in our pools. The rest of the flyer contained address, phone number, operating hours, and what seemed to be a QR code which might lead to the website for the place.

“The hell is this,” Benny muttered as he stated at the flyer, feeling a bit relieved that what he found was harmless. “An advertisement for a bathhouse. Is this some kind of prank?” He never heard of the place, or even aware there were bathhouses in this city. The leopard had a rough idea what the flyer was advertising, besides its theme. He tossed the flyer in the counter, “nothing to do with me,” was all he said before searching his cabinets deciding what to make for dinner.

Yet, even when he prepared dinner, his mind wandered back to the flyer. The leopard might be sheltered, as he himself admits, but he was not ignorant. A stray and confusing comment can easily send the leopard to Google. He knew that bathhouses, to some extent, were a gay hook up spot for men looking for sex, but he never saw a reason to go there. All he dated before were girls and he wasn't really good at sex. Any time a girl tried to be intimate with Benny, they learned quickly that the leopard couldn't maintain an erection for the life of him. At first he figured it was performance anxiety, but regardless how many times he tried, Benny still struggled with intimacy. It got so bad that he got stuck with the unflattering title of ‘worst boyfriend of the class’ and ‘most likely to leave girls unsatisfied’. Benny can even remember how many joked that the leopard was far more interested in books than in girls. As Benny pulled out a can, he paused and muttered, “interest?”

Leopard set the can down and thought for a minute. Staring at the counter as the word echoed in his head. “Wait, was I ever interested in girls?” It was a strange question to start asking all of the sudden, but it was something Benny never really bothered asking before. Being born male, Benny just assumed that his romantic partner would be female, treating it more like it was an expectation he was trying to meet rather than something he wanted. He didn't even ask out most of the girls he dated, they either came to him or were set up by friends. It slowly started to sink into him what the answer was. Something that should have been obvious but didn't realize till now. He wasn't straight.

Benny leaned on the counter, a strange sense of shock and relief washed over him. How long has it been happening? Was this something he was born with or is he just jumping to conclusions just to explain away his bad dating life? But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to slap himself for not realizing it sooner. Whenever his friends talked about girls, Benny would either try to steer the conversation to another topic or just not say anything. When girls showed interest in him, his friends cheered while Benny just froze trying to think of how to respond. When girls stopped showing interest in him, the leopard felt almost relieved. More stuff that the leopard passed off as being reserved, shy, and awkward now looked very different through the lens of just accepting that he was never into girls.

Benny cupped his face out of both shame and embarrassment. “But if I don't like girls, who am I interested in then?” It was another question Benny never thought to ask himself. He first thought was probably asexual, just because of his lack of interest in sex, but that didn't sit right with the leopard. “if I am not interested in girls, would I be interested in guys? I felt comfortable with the but,” Benny paused as a memory hit him. The one person Benny felt he might have been attracted to, “Coach Williams!’ Benny yelled.

When Berny first entered high school, he had no interest in sports and was only planning on taking the minimum classes needed to graduate. That all changed when he met the PE teacher, Coach Mackey Williams. The coach was a well built Otter both social and affectionate. Most of the students adored him, including Benny. When tryouts for the track team started, Benny signed up, despite never not doing track before in his life. The leopard only made it on the team because very few applied, but it let him be close to the coach. Still, despite his inexperience, Coach Williams was very patient with the leopard and helped him do well in track and field. Benny loved the attention he received from the coach. Every good job and a pat on the back felt more rewarding than whatever ribbons and the occasional trophy he earned. When the Coach hugged him for getting his first top prize at a state level, Benny felt he was walking on air for a week. Looking back, Benny should have realized what he had feeling for his coach, but at the time, thought was a normal feeling between a coach and player.

But the biggest sign he missed was an incident in his junior year in high school. One day after practice, the leopard realized he left his phone in the gym's locker. When he returned to the gym, Benny heard the shower running. At first the leopard thought nothing of it as he got his phone but as he was leaving, curiosity struck him. He had seen the other track members leave earlier, so who was in the shower? Did someone leave it running by accident? Benny's curiosity got the better of him and he decided to check it out. What he saw forever stuck with Benny for the rest of his days. In the open shower area, the leopard found Coach Williams making out with the assistant Coach, a lynx who joined earlier in the year, both naked and hands on their cocks stroking each other. Benny couldn't believe his eyes, it was the first time he saw a man kiss another man, but also to do so naked. Benny, feeling both embarrassed and confused, ran from the locker room before the two noticed the leopard. For the next few days, thought about what he saw trying to make sense of the whole thing. The leopard couldn't understand what he felt that day or what to do with himself afterwards. He wondered if it was just shock from two men like that made him think about it that much. Benny told nobody what he saw that day, seeing that it was something private between them, and went on the best he can pretending he never saw what he did.

Later in the year, Coach Williams and the assistant coach were both let go and left the school. None of the faculty would say why, but the rumor was that the two were sleeping with each other. All the leopard could remember at that time was being heartbroken over the incident and falling into a depressive state afterwards that lasted the rest of the school year and spending the summer after in counseling. The next year the coach was replaced, but Benny didn't return to the track team.

Benny, having finished his trip through his memories, stepped out of the kitchen and thrown himself on the couch. He now understood what he was feeling. “I am gay” he muttered, feeling like the cloud that hung over him cleared up a little. The leopard rubbed his face, “God how do I explain it to my parents? My friends? Anyone?” Benny can only sigh, “but at least I know now. A guy huh?”

The leopard closed his eyes and imagined something he never thought about, dating a guy. The leopard had thought about what life would be like with a partner before, but never with a guy before. He thought about dates. Chilling in a cafe, going to the movies, cuddling on the couch, and sleeping with them in the same bed. All of them felt…right to Benny, like this was what he really wanted for himself. “Maybe this is who I am.”

But slowly those innocent thoughts shifted. As Benny imagined kissing a man, his body started to feel warm. He had been kissed before and felt nothing, but kissing guys made him feel something he hasn't felt in a long time about anyone…excited. Benny's hand wandered down to his crotch. The leopard could feel his cock get hard within his shorts. “Fuck, I am gay.” He muttered as he pulled his shorts low enough for his cock to spring out.

Benny could only stare at it in wonder. It usually took some effort to get that hard, but now just a single thought made it sprung into action. As the leopard grasped it, it felt more sensitive than normal, causing him to inhale sharply. As he slowly stroked his cock, the leopard’s mind wandered. Benny could only imagine enough scenarios before he returned to the incident back in high school.

The leopard pictured himself back at the school, seeing Coach Williams making out with his assistant in the showers. Instead of running away, the leopard stepped into the showers fully nude, his cock slowly half erect.

The Otter and lynx both looked surprised at Benny but quickly gave a warm smile as the leopard approached. The assistant stepped aside as Benny walked up to Coach Williams and kissed him. In his mind, Benny could imagine how charged the kiss was, how he wished the Coach would wrap his strong arms around the leopard. He imagined the feeling as Williams kissed the leopard deeply, the otters tongue deep in Benny's mouth. The leopard could only moan as his Coach explored his mouth. Benny could only lean into his coach's arms as he surrender himself to the otter.

As Benny pulled away, the Assistant coach also kissed the leopard as he wrapped his arm around Benny's back. The lynx’s kiss would be more reserved, as though he wished for the leopard to take control. Which Benny did, sticking his tongue in the lynx's mouth. It was awkward, sloppy, and embarrassing for the leopard, but also nice.

As the lynx pulled away, the coach and assistant sandwiched the leopard between their bodies. Coach Williams, who stood behind Benny, let his hands wander to the leopard’s chest. “Mmm, you been keeping up training,” the otter whispered in Benny's ear, “good boy.”

“Thank you, Coach,” Benny replied.

“Call me Mackey,” the otter whispered as his hands squeezed Benny's chest, “or Daddy.”

The leopard felt a jolt go up his spine at the word. It sounded wrong, too kinky for the leopard to say. And yet something within Benny yearned to say it, speak it, “yes, Daddy.” The second Benny said it, he felt his body burn. It felt embarrassing, submissive, and right.

“Good boy,” Coach Williams’ sent a chill down the leopard’s spine. “Tell me who you belong to.”

“You sir.”

“Good.” Coach Williams kissed the leopard’s neck while Benny imagined what it would feel for teeth to brush against his skin.

The lynx lowered himself to the floor, kissing and petting Benny's stomach and legs all the way down. As the assistant got to his knees, he wrapped his fingers around the leopard’s cock.

Benny bucked his hips forward, the sudden motion surprising himself. But as the leopard looked down he saw the lynx not moving but his mouth was open almost ready to engulf him, but the leopard's cock was just out of reach. Benny could feel himself go crazy with his instincts taking over. “Pl-please.”

“No, that's not it,” Coach whispered, “you have to demand it. Order him to suck your dick.”

Benny looked down at the lynx, sporting a coy teasing smile. “Suck my dick,” Benny whimpered.

“Louder, Benny. Scream it, Demand it! Roar, kitten!”

“Suck my dick,” Benny roared as his dick erupted, sending thick ropes of cum up the leopard's chest with a shot hitting his own head. The leopard could only moan as the waves of euphoria crashed into like a total wave. After a few seconds, Benny's body went limp as he rode his afterglow.

For a few seconds, the leopard didn't move, didn't think, just felt. No doubts, no shock, no confusion, just a sense of calm the leopard haven't experienced in some time. Benny let go of his cock and brought his hand to his face. He saw the cum on his hand and licked it. The overwhelming salty taste shocked the leopard back to his senses, causing him to shudder from the taste. “Fuck why did I do that? Pitu. Bleh.’ he placed his hand by his side and stared at the ceiling.

Benny could no longer deny it. That was his most intense masterbation session he ever had. There should be no doubt about it now. Benny is gay. He was attracted to men. No more room for discussion or debate.

But at the back of his mind, that little bit of doubt formed in his head. Am I really gay? Did I really have feeling for coach Williams? Couldn't my response be just cause I haven't cum in awhile? Could you even get hard for a real man? More of these types of questions filled the leopard's head. Like whatever doubt he has was trying to steer him away from accepting himself. To make him go back to his old life and pretend what he did didn't happen.

But Benny was not having it. The leopard put his cock in his shorts and walked into the kitchen again. The flyer for the bathhouse was right where he left it. He looked at the date of the flyer. “The special is tomorrow night,” Benny muttered.

The leopards phone buzzed from a text. As the leopard unlocked his phone he saw it was from Marcus. No, it's my fault. I said something I shouldn't have. Anyway, are you free tomorrow night? I wanted to take you someplace.

Benny's thought for a minute. It's possible that Marcus wanted to take him to some dating event or something. The thought of going to one while he's questioning his sexuality at the moment didn't sit right with him. Sorry, I have plans tomorrow night.