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Marc was shocked; he sat back, looking at the young wolf with nothing but surprise. Had that really just happened? Ethan had crossed his arms tightly over his midsection, rocking a little, terrified of how the fox may react. Marc just opened and shut his mouth, unsure what to say.

Had Ethan really just tried to kiss him?

What should he do...Marc suddenly wished Ben was there to help, but he wasn't...and calling him would only succeed in making Ethan feel bad. So he attempted to talk it out with the young wolf.

"Ethan..." He began, still unsure where to go.

"I...I'm sorry about that...I didn't...I mean..." Tears began to well up in his eyes.

"Ethan..." Marc said again. "It's okay, but I'm like twelve years older than you. And I have a boyfriend."

"I...I know...I'm sorry, it was such a dumb thing to do...I can't believe...it's just...you're the only person I've ever felt close to. You're the only one who understands me, Marc...I just...Don't you get that?" Marc was unsure what to do in response, and decided on standing up and running a hand through the fur on the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I get it, I really do. But I feel close to you, shit, I love you like a little brother. I feel protective of you because I don't want to see you get hurt...I understand because I'm older and I've been in similar places before." Marc sat back down, not wanting the wolf to feel abandoned. He watched in dismay as Ethan hung his head in his hands, and putting a paw on the fur's shoulder he continued. "I don't know what's going on with you right now, but I heard you and your girlfriend had a fight?" Ethan nodded.

"Yeah, she finally realised how fucking...fucking _crazy_I am. She saw that I was b-broken...I...and I am. I was...Marc, you're the only...I mean, when I'm around you I never feel so bad...When you talk to me I don't...hate myself as much..." He shook his head, crying again now.

"Look, it's very natural that when you have a fight, or a break-up...to seek some instant comfort, to act out to whatever feels safest. But this...this isn't right Ethan, and I think you know that."

"No...No, you're the only one who doesn't treat me like a pup. You're the only one who speaks to me on my level. Everybody else...they, they all act like I'm a glass doll they could break or something. But you...I want this Marc, really, I do...I..." Marc quickly cut him off.

"I'm sorry buddy....but you don't want this. Trust me. You think you do...but you don't." The young wolf then looked at him with such hurt...and Marc immediately knew why. He had talked down to him...he'd told Ethan what was best for him, and even though he needed to hear it...he still felt bad. Like he betrayed a friend.

His heart broke when Ethan really began crying, covering his face and letting himself be racked with sobs. He put his paw back onto the wolf's shoulder, attempting to help...Eventually, between sobs Ethan managed to say:

"I think I want to go to bed."

"Okay, the guest room is made up...you know where it is." He didn't know what else to say, and when the younger fur got up and walked off Marc just sat still at the couch...staring sullenly at the now-cold hot chocolate. What have I done? He thought to himself.

"Are you okay?" Asked Ben, walking in and setting down next to his partner, methodically stroking his soft fur in a gentle embrace.

"I don't know." Replied Marc, without looking away from the mugs.

"What happened? All I heard was crying really...thought it better I stay out of it."

"Yeah...probably a good call. Would have just made it all worse." Marc let himself fall back onto the couch, relaxing into Ben.

"So...?" Probed the brown fox.

"I don't know what happened...I set the drinks down, and sat next to him. I thought maybe he might like a little company...and...he tried to kiss me."

"What? Why?" Asked Ben genuinely, looking almost as shocked as Marc had earlier.

"He said...said I was the only person who understood him. I told him something along the lines of...rebound behaviour is normal. I didn't know what to do, he looked so hurt Ben...Everyone else treats him like an object, but he said I was the only one who talked to him on his level..." Ben took his partners paw in his own, squeezing it a little.

"Ah. It's a pretty normal response actually. Go to ground...panic and find the nearest, safest place you can. That just happened to be you in this case."

"I didn't even know he was gay though...He said he had a girlfriend...the thought he might like me never even crossed my mind."

"I don't want to invalidate him...but it's very likely that he isn't gay, he just went somewhere safe. We've talked a lot in the past about his sexuality, and people he's liked...he's never mentioned anything like that. It was most likely an action brought on by impulse...But it does complicate things a little bit."

"Just a little?" Asked Marc incredulously.

"We'll resolve it, don't worry." Ben said, reassuringly.

Ethan was literally pacing in the spare room. It was a fairly spacious room, with a double bed, a modest desk and a wardrobe built-in to the wall. He ran his paws through his fur, his tail flicking around at all kinds of insane angles. What the FUCK was I thinking? Why I am so fucking dumb? He thought to himself. He'd never thought about Marc romantically, hell he used to be a bit weirded out by the two males living together...he got over it, but he'd always been fairly sure it wasn't his cup of tea. So why the fuck did I kiss him?

He looked down at his paws, constantly clenching and unclenching them. He had an incredible amount of energy he found, every muscle in his body screaming to do something. Needing to move in any way, he started jumping up and down. Then he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror - namely how stupid it looked jumping like that - and stopped. He walked over to himself, staring the wolf in the reflection down intensely.

"Why don't I know you?" He asked the reflection redundantly, realising with a bit of horror that he was unable to recognise himself. It didn't look anything like him. "Who the fuck are you?" He asked the mirror, a little more aggressively this time. He span around, looking away, biting his knuckles hard enough to draw blood. When he turned back it was the same foreign wolf looking at him.

"What the fuck is WRONG with you?!" He growled. Tears now streaming down his face, he lunged forward and punched the mirror as hard as he could. It thudded against the wall and practically exploded, sending glass flying everywhere.

Stepping back slowly, cradling his now profusely bleeding hand, Ethan realised he was shaking. Shaking all over, intensely...so much it hurt.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I so broken? He thought miserably. When he felt his back hit the opposite wall, he allowed his body to slide to the ground as he began to cry completely. He squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could and let the violent coughs and tears destroy him. Blood was now dripping onto his shirt and the nice beige carpet. He lay there for a moment, feeling his violent shaking subside a little right as the door opened.

Ben first stepped in, then reached a hand out to stop his boyfriend, who was quick behind. They'd heard a yell, and a loud smashing noise and quickly ran to the room. Ethan saw as Ben said something to Marc, who ran off somewhere else, only to quickly return with two pairs of easy slip-on shoes. The orange fox handed a pair to his boyfriend, who quickly slipped the shoes on and walked over to Ethan. Ben knelt down in front of the young fur, trying to figure out just what had happened.

Ethan felt totally incapable of answering anything...he was alone. He was totally alone, Taylor didn't want him, Marc didn't want him...Ben probably hated him too. He just bet his parents couldn't stand him, but they had to pretend right? Everyone just lied right to his face.

He allowed Ben to stand him up, and walk him down to the kitchen. He refused to speak as Ben inspected his paw for any little bits of glass, and then promptly wrapped it in bandages. Marc came back to the kitchen, and he and Ben had a quick conversation about whether the wolf would need to go to the hospital. They ended up deciding not to take him just yet, and try and see how bad everything was first.

After everything had calmed down a bit, and everyone had relaxed, Ben sat down across from the wolf. He calmly looked him in the eye, when the eye contact was finally returned he spoke.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice betraying his concern.

"I'm so stupid. I'm such a fuck-up." Was all Ethan muttered in reply.

"No, you really aren't. Nobody here thinks that about you. Everyone has different challenges in life. That doesn't make you a bad person."

"I...I tried...with Marc...I feel like an idiot."

"Yeah, he told me what happened. It's okay, and we don't think you're an idiot. But why did you punch the mirror?" At that Ethan leaned back, running a paw through the fur between his ears.

"I...I don't know. I panicked...like last time, with Taylor, except instead of shutting down I...I took it out on something." Ben nodded.

"Were you looking at your reflection when you did?"

"Yeah..."

"So you took it out on some_one_."

"Oh. I didn't...It felt like I couldn't recognise myself though, like it was a totally different wolf standing there looking at me. Judging me...he hated me too...and I hated him."

"Is your hand okay now?" Asked Ben, changing the subject for a moment.

"Yeah...well no...but not awful. It hurts, but more from stupidity I think. Sorry about your mirror..."

"It's okay."

"No it was fucking selfish and idiotic thing to do and..."

"Ethan." Interrupted Ben. "It's just a mirror."

"Sorry."

"I didn't know you were gay." Asked Ben, a little confrontationally, but his current tactic was getting him nowhere.

"I...I'm not." Even though his dark fur, Ben could see the wolf blush.

"So why did you kiss my boyfriend?" He said antagonistically.

"I just...I...I didn't...I'm so..." Floundered the wolf.

"Give me a real answer."

"I'm alone!" He finally exclaimed. "I'm so alone Ben...nobody in this world seems to see it the same way I do. Except Marc...I just...I felt so close to him and...I dunno. He hates me now."

"He doesn't hate you." Replied Ben, matter-of-factly. "He understands you though, your twenties are a difficult time, when you're trying to figure out for sure just who you are. For Marc, that time was pretty rough...his family was very conservative and religious, being gay wasn't okay."

"I didn't know that." Was all Ethan said.

"Most people don't, there's a lot of hurt and...and loneliness from that time that stays with him. He doesn't share it with just anyone, and he told me it was okay to tell you after you kissed him...so I can promise he doesn't hate you."

"Oh...wow."

"I don't have that experience, my family was pretty much okay. Told them I was gay at sixteen and never thought about it...I was pretty naïve back then. But my twenties weren't easy; nobodies are...what I'm trying to say here. Is that it's a tricky part in your life, and Marc had extra shit piled on top of that."

"Yeah..."

"And so do you. So he feels a strong connection with you, but it's like that of an older brother, or an uncle. He sees a lot of himself in you buddy, but that has nothing to do with you being gay."

"I'm not gay."

"Yeah, I know." The two sat in silence for a while, just thinking their individual thoughts. Eventually Ben got up and made coffee for them both, handing Ethan a mug without any words, and the wolf graciously accepted.

"I'm so lonely Ben." He said after quietly sipping his drink for a good five minutes.

"I know."

"What do you mean, you know? Is that it?"

"There's nothing I can do about you being lonely Ethan. There's nothing I can say or do to fix it. You're welcome to come here and hang out, but it's not enough. I can try to teach you the skills to not be so lonely though." The young fur looked down at that, disappointed.

"I just...In the entire universe, in all the galaxies and planets and stars and worlds that might exist out there...I feel like I am completely and utterly alone. Like a solitary being, with no companion piece."

"Well, try looking at things this way then. You have two good friends who live over here you can visit. For some time you had a girlfriend, and it's normal for relationships to change and end. You have a family who cares about you." He said this all with a smile, hoping the wolf might take some of it in.

"And it's still not enough for me. That's the problem here, I'm greedy, and I want more than I have. It makes me feels so shitty, because I know there are good furs around me, who love me and care about me...but I still feel this horrible, awful guilt." Ethan was done crying, at this point he felt like he'd used all the tears he had. That didn't stop him from rubbing his eyes though.

"Well maybe you should start coming back to see me more regularly then. We can work on these feelings. But you need to work with me okay? I need you to go out when you can."

"I'll try."

"Here's something to start with...every week, I want you to do something you wouldn't normally do. Talk to a stranger, go somewhere new, whatever. Try new things, and you are bound to meet people. When you come here, we can work on new skills to deal with that."

"Okay...that sounds good."

"Ethan listen...I feel like you've been trying to avoid coming back to see me, is that true?" Ben could see he'd hit a cord, since the wolf looked away self-consciously and took a second to think before answering.

"Maybe....yeah. It felt like a backwards step. My mum is always saying how proud she is of me...and if I needed this again, like...formally..."

"You'd feel like you were going backwards."

"Exactly. I'm supposed to be recovered."

"It's not my job to fix you, buddy. It's my job to get you to a place that you feel comfortable to live your life at. If you need to come and see me again that's fine, you can. You're allowed to ask for help. Otherwise you end up punching mirrors and trying to steal my boyfriend." Ethan laughed at that, which made Ben incredibly happy. "Nobody is perfect."

"But most people don't need their psychologist to hold their hand through everything they do in life."

"You know that's not what I do Ethan. And I apologise, but this is something you'll need to manage. Just because it drops out of sight, doesn't mean you can ignore all that darkness. You need to make sure you take care of it."

"It's not fair though. To always be so fucked up." He crossed his arms again.

"No it's not, but welcome to life. You've got it rougher than some, easier than others. But that's okay, because you're doing great."

"Thanks Ben." Said Ethan, smiling finally.

The next day, Ethan stood at the door about to leave. Ben and Marc were there too, saying goodbye to their friend. After Ben and Ethan finished their talk, Marc joined in for a little while before everyone left for bed...with 5:47am reading on the microwave. Everyone slept to about noon, then Marc cooked breakfast and they all laughed together, nothing else but coffee and casual conversation. By three pm, Ethan said he was good to go. He thanked them both, and they walked him to the door.

"I'm sorry about the mirror guys, I'll pay to replace it." Said Ethan sheepishly, the foxes were happy to hear the self-loathing from the previous night had left his voice.

"Nah, don't stress dude." Said Marc flippantly, waving a paw at the younger fur, who laughed. "We're both glad you stopped by."

"Me too. Thanks for letting me crash here." Replied Ethan.

"Anytime, though maybe next time at a more decent hour huh?" Said Ben, smiling. Ethan just nodded in agreement. "Please though, if you do need to come by and just hang out, feel welcome to."

"I will." The wolf replied, nodding in agreement.

After a slightly awkward moment of just standing there, Marc pulled the wolf into a hug. Mumbling 'it's all good' into his ear. When they pulled apart, the younger fur was smiling. Ben felt relaxed, and happy that Ethan trusted them enough to come here last night, rather than hurting himself.

"See you later Ethan, please don't be a stranger." He said, still smiling.

"I won't, thank you guys. I'll see you around." And with that, he left.