Ithel (parody)
John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.
-Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
-"Crawling" - Linkin Park
Ithel was a prostitute but sometimes she was also a warrior. She had been having sex with a magiciane when he was killed by a masked man that the police still hadnt found. His magic went into her and turned her into a herm.
She was a half-insect dragon. Her father had been a dragon and her mother had been the scout for an invading alien race, then fallen in love with Ithel's father and told the aliens humans were too toug and they had killed her and the aliens did not invade. They had been killed in a car crash and their lawyer got all their money and blamed Ithel. She had fled to a far away country where she was now.
Right now she was having sex with another prostitute named alice. Alice was a girlyboi rabbit. Ithel was having sex with alice to turn her into a herm with her magic cock. Because of, the magic she had chi magic and could turn people into herms. Alice was screaming "yes, yes, f*ck me harder' as she felt waves of pleasure moving through her. He was already fairly femme so there wasn't much change, but as he became a she his curves ripened and his hips swelled and his chest swelled slightly and he felt heat behind his balls as he frew a vagina.
He was now a herm.
"Thank you for making me a herm ithel" Alice said "but I still have to come."
"I can take care of that," Ithel said and reached down to wrap her hand around Alice's maleness with one hand. She had Alice braced against the wall, one hand braced against the wall, the other holding the smaller bunniherm up. She kissed alice as she leaked special venom into her own moth that stimulated Alice and thrust into her clitoris. They both cried out as they first came as two herms.
The next day it was Ithel"s birthday. Ithel and the other prostitutes at the place where she worked were having a party. There was a band there and they played Roxanne by the Police.
You don't have to put out the red light
You don't have to put out the red light.
Ithel and ger friends ate pepper jack cheese and drank tea and cake.
"The cake is a lie," cried Beryl, an African-American human from America.
"What do you mean" saidd Alice.
"This isn't chocolate at all," said Beryl. "It's carrot!" Everybody laughed until a masked man burst in with a sword and a gun. Ithel stood up with a gasp.
"You are the masked man who killed my lover" Ithel said. "I must avenge his death with the fighting arts I learned from my fighting master Curtis Izumi!"
"No ithel," the masked man said, and took off his mask. "I am Curtis Izumi!"
Ithel"s world was rocked to the core.
"How curtis, said Ithel. "How could you betray me, you who have taught me how to use my magical fighting penis"
"I only taught you to use your yang-based powers so I could see if you would be a match for me. I have even bought the sword forged from my soul I showed you earlier."
"Yes it, is a very nice sword. I am honoured you consider me a worthey opponent."
Ithel flashed back to the time the mage died. She had just been a waitress and the mage invited her to have sex with him. She had just been having sex with him when he did magic to make sex better. Then the masked man burst in and killed him, so his magic went into Ithel uncontroled and it gave her a penis. The masked man fled and Ithel also had yang(male) based chi powers because she was a herm. She had gone to Curtiz Isumi for training and it also made her remember when her parents died. She had only been a little girl in the car with them when the brakes failed. She had been the onyl one to, survive but her parents died and there lawyer got all the money. Ithel always thought the lawyer killed them but she couldn't prove it. She ran away to a foreign country where she was now and became a waitress.
Heat rushes through Ithels body as she contemplated the upcoming battle, her senses piquing.
"I will stand beside you" Alice said. "You have my sword."
"You don't have a sword," Ithel pointed out. "But you should get my sword And my gun. Everyone else should get out."
"I don't understand what this is about," siad Beryl.
"This is a matter of honor" said Ithel. "A matter of life and death."
"But why?"
"He killed a man I loved. I must avenge him. Get out."
Everyone left, even the band. They had closed down the entire restauraunt/brothel for Ithel's birthday so fortunatly there was almost no one there. The last to leave was ithel's boss, Tsu Li. "If you damage store, taking it out of your paycheck!"
"You have insurance anyway, old woman."
The fox said "Pah!" and hobbled off. She secretly prayed to her ancestors for Ithel's wellbeing.
"You have to go too, Alice," Ithel said.
"I'm not leaving you."
"You can't fight. He would just ignore you or kill you."
"But I'm smart!"
"That doesn't matter, this is a contest of men and metal. You have to get out too," she said harshly. Alice looked at her for a second, and then left, crying. Ithel gazed after her, and a single tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. She could not tell Alice that she loved her.
"Are you finished with your goodbyes?" Curtis sneered at Ithel.
"The people I love give me strength," said Ithel, readying her 9mm Glock and katana by pulling back on the slide to chamber a round. Curtis had a revolver and dao. "Their hopes and dreams are etched into my body. Love is what makes a man."
"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. Have at you!" Curtis lunged towards Ithel. There was a clang as their blades met, Curtis's hot breath in her face. She wished she could breathe fire like a full-blooded dragon. They had teased her about it so much. She focused her rage into yang chakra, down her arm, through her gun, and raised it towards Curtis. He bought up his revolver, and locked it with her katana. His dao went down to intercept her gunfire, the bullets sliding along the blade and bouncing off the tang, deflecting past her face and into the ceiling, where they struck with much more force than regular bullets because she had infused them with her yang chakra. She flinched backward, giving Curtis the space he needed to plant his foot in her stomach and shove to send her flying across the room, sliding across the floor to stop agains the leg of a table.
"You really are irritating, Ithel" Curtis remarked. "If you hadn't been there, the murder of my brother would've gone entirely without incident."
"No. Not without incident." Ithel swiped at the table she was under, and the flat part slid off it's stand to land infront of Ithel, giving her cover. "People would've asked questions."
"Improvised cover," mocked curtis. "Very Good,just like I taught you. But you forgot to slice one edge off the table to it would lay flat on the ground." He loosed a shot, and it bounced off the ground just under the edge of the table. The next shot he loosed was directly into Ithel's shield, and it blew apart some of the table. Ithel knew that Curtis had only used some of his yang chakra, and if he went full strength she would die quickly, he was playing with her. She knew she had to come up with something or die.
Outside, the police did not want to interfere because they could see it was going to be a fierce battle.
"Please, you have to do, something!" Alice said tearfuly.
"we can't interfer" said the police. "This is a battle to avenge."
"What about my building!" screeched Tsu Li.
Inside Curtis branditched his weapons. "With my right hand (the one with the gun) I solve problems, with my left hand (the one with the sword) I write names. I take these weapons...and I kill you!" He slashed and stabbed at the table to make it explode, so he could kill Ithel. All he found was a hole in the floor. He peered through the hole. "Trying to run away, little girl?" Ithel was nowhere to be found. "I bought you a wonderful present: despair! I put firebombs at all the entrances and exits. The only way out is through me."
There was a clicking noise, and the firebombs detonated. Curtis through himself back as fire roared through the hole. "You forget," said Ithel from the flame "I am a dragon. I am born in flame." Hir sword was on fire as shi sliced the floor around hir master dropping him into the flames, which engulfed him in flames. Losing focus, he didn't control his chakra and the bullets in his revolver cooked off, the one in the chambet going into his side and the other three exploding in their chambers and ruining the gun. He screamed at his ruined left hand even as the flames engulfed his flesh. "Mercy!" he cried.
Ithel stood above him, hir yang chakra protecting her weapons."Mercy is the mark of a great man." She shot Curtis in the leg. "Guess I'm just a good herm." Ithel shot him in the stomach. "Well, I'm allright." Then she walked away, leaving Curtis to die horribly.
Later, she and Alice sat at a table in a restauraunt both with an untouched mug of sake between them. They had finished talking to the police.
"I don't want to be a prostitute anymore" ithel said. "Too dangerous."
"I will follow you wherever you may go" Alice said.
"Thank you." She grasped Alice's hand in hers: She still hadn't told the bunniherm about her feelings, and didn't know the bunniherm had feelings for her too. She signalled to the barkeep, who bought a phone book over. Ithel took the phone book and opened it to a random page, then hi put hir finger on the page. "Hm. Pharmacies."
Ithel
by Nequ
Based on a character from "How To Be A Furry" by John Wood
http://crushyiffdestroy.com/furryTut/
2009 Creative Commons By-SA-NC