Delilah
StGeorgesHorse is holding a contest, this is my paltry entry in that contest. I hope you like it.
Delilah VanHorn was what some might describe as petite. She was no more than 4 foot tall, slender, waiflike. She had gorgeous auburn hair that fell down to the middle of her back and accentuated her reddish gray fur beautifully. She was always immaculately groomed; her large tail arched just so, hair never in disarray, and makeup always perfect. She took great pains to stay this way with weekly appointments at the hair, fur, and nail salons. To anyone who knew Delilah as a child, this would seem extremely strange; you see, Delilah was born David Vanderbilt.
For many years, David struggled with his identity. His body just didn't fit right; even for a squirrel he was too small and too delicate to play most of the games the other boys his age were playing. What he really wanted to do was denied him because he was a boy. When David reached adulthood, he left home, moved into his own apartment, and found doctors and others who were willing to listen to him. It took a long time for David to accomplish his goal, and he had to fight every step of the way to get there. People shunned him, mocked him, teased and bullied him, but still he fought for what he wanted, what he needed.
The day Delilah was born was the happiest day of David's life... and also the last.
* * * * *
"Excuse me?"
"Yes, Miss, what may I do for you?" The hostess, a pretty black mink dressed in black and white tux, asked.
"I'm supposed to be meeting a party; it might be under the name Claremont."
The mink ran her finger down the page in front of her and paused at a special notation. "Here it is. You're in dining room four." She collected a menu and motioned for the guest to follow her. "This way; I'll take you right to them."
They went through the main restaurant to a small back hall with several doors that opened onto it. They were all closed at the moment, with red lights over the door frames indicating they were in use. They stopped before a door with the number 4 emblazoned on it, and the hostess knocked politely before opening the door. "Excuse me -- your guest has arrived." She stepped back to allow the lady to enter, handing her the menu as she passed. "Your server should be along in a few minutes to take your orders. Is there anything you need before that?"
The room was cozy, about two and a half by three meters, with a small table set for four toward the back and a sideboard with glass doors that housed tumblers and both ice and water dispensers. Three of the chairs were already taken. On the left sat a portly middle-aged male chipmunk, leaning back in his chair with his hands on his belly, looking for all the world like he just finished building the International bridge by himself. He was dressed in a ragged pair of bluejeans with a white t-shirt tucked into them and a loose long-sleeved button-up plaid shirt over that. He stood when the hostess entered and smiled genially as he held his hand out to the guest. "Rupert Claremont. You must be Delilah. We've heard so much about you." He seemed almost over eager in his greeting. "But no one told me you'd be this beautiful."
"Thank you, Mr. Claremont. I'm pleased to be here," the diminutive squirrel said as she gently wrapped his paw in both of hers. "It isn't often that one such as I is asked to help in cases like this. Most people prefer to discourage interaction between myself and their offspring."
"Not us!" The female chipmunk declared as she too stood to greet their guest. "I... we would rather Robin know more about what he's facing with this up front. After all, it is not an easy path." She was dressed in a loose fitting sundress that was very unflattering to her figure, in an awful shade of pink that made Delilah's eyes want to water just from looking at it.
"You are right, Mrs. Claremont. It is a difficult path, but one that some of us are forced to take no matter what we might wish otherwise." The squirrel disengaged from the male's determined grip and shook the female's offered paw. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."
"Sheila." She turned, releasing Delilah's paw after a perfunctory shake and waved toward the rooms fourth occupant. "This is Robin."
To all outward appearances, Robin was a girl about 12 or 13 years of age with long black hair that came down to brush her shoulders, and gorgeous chocolate colored eyes. She was wearing a pretty, light pink shirt with shell sleeves and a darker pink skirt that brushed the top of her knees when she stood to move around to table and greet Delilah. She was slender but not too thin, as some girls her age tended to be. "Pleased to meet you, Miss." Her voice was soft and sweet, still young sounding, but there was a note of deeper tones to it that threatened to shatter the careful illusion this child had created.
It was heart-breaking, remembering when she herself reached this age and realized that she couldn't stop nature from making her into a young man. Now there was a way to change things before puberty, it would save this youngling from a world of emotional pain and suffering. "Hello, Robin. The pleasure is all mine, I assure you." After a warm handshake, the four of them took their places at the table to go over the menu. Robin had been placed in the back corner, as far away from Delilah as possible, but also facing her so that they could speak freely. The parents had taken flanking positions to their offspring, creating a sort of barrier between them that might be difficult to pierce if she were a less determined person.
They maintained the silence until the waitress came to collect their orders; once that was taken care of, Delilah took the lead. "How did you find me?" She pulled a pad of paper and a pen from her shoulder bag, opening it to the first blank page.
"The psychiatrist gave us your name," Sheila said before the kit had a chance to reply. "She said you might be able to answer some of the questions Robin has about the procedures and the way people are going to react to him."
Delilah took a deep breath and turned to the mother. "Ma'am, I understand how you feel. I am a stranger. But you need to let Robin answer for herself. Also, I am going to ask both you and Mr. Claremont to refrain from referring to Robin as he; Robin has clearly stated in several instances that she does not feel like a male, she feels like a female, and I will ask you to respect her wishes on this matter." God, how she wished someone had had the brass to tell her parents the same thing; the ugly taste of them calling her "him" and "he" all the time still remained after all these years.
"But he--"
"No. I must be firm on this. Robin is dressed as a girl, here in a public setting; this means she has been passed by the psychiatrist and will eventually undergo the surgery to transform her into the shape that she feels suits her best. It is important that you adjust your thinking, right now, to accommodate those facts. She will be a woman and should be addressed as such. Do I make myself clear?" She made eye contact with Sheila and held it until the other woman lowered her gaze, then looked at Rupert, who was already nodding in agreement. "Alright. As we go on, I would like to hear Robin's thoughts and feelings, as those are what we're here to discuss." She turned her focus on the young chipmunk. "Do you feel comfortable talking with your parents in the room?" This question caused Sheila to inhale sharply as she realized for the first time that she could be excluded from these talks.
Robin's eyes widened and she looked from her father to her mother, then she smiled a little and said, "They can stay. But thank you for asking Mom to call me she instead of he." There was real gratitude in her voice. Sheila didn't miss the sincerity behind Robin's thanks; her brow furrowed and she started playing with her flatware as if it held the answers to her inner turmoil.
Delilah smiled back; she couldn't help it -- the girl's smile was infectious. "Robin, this meeting is more for you than your parents. Let's start with me telling you a little about myself. As you know, I was born a boy, like you, but it didn't feel right to me. For many years, I tried to fit into the shape of my body. I had a girlfriend, but every time she touched me, it felt wrong somehow... like she was touching someone else, and I was just there to observe. Needless to say, that didn't last long.
"My parents didn't understand me. They tried to force me to become the son they thought they had when I was born. I was bullied at school for not being manly enough, even beat up by the stronger boys, several times. Eventually, I came to realize that the only way I could be really happy was if I changed my outside to match my inside. I found people who understood me and what I was going through; they helped me find the doctors that I needed to start my journey to becoming who you see before you today." She paused for a moment, then went on. "So that's me. How about you tell me a little about yourself?"
For a few moments, Robin was silent, but as Delilah expected, the initial shutdown of the parents, the show of support, and her frank description of herself gave Robin the feeling that she could open up to Delilah. "I'm trapped. I'm stuck in this body, and I can't get out. It's disgusting, it's ugly, and I hate it. I wish I had never been born!" She wiped at her cheeks angrily to push the tears away, then added, "The kids at school don't understand. They pick on me and push me around and threaten to do things to me. I stick to the classrooms and try to never to go to the bathroom when anyone else is in there, cause the school makes me use the boys room." Mom and Dad were mostly silent through this, letting the two of them converse freely until Robin made the statement about the bathroom.
"WHAT!" Sheila exploded, "You never said anything about that before! See, this is exactly why I think this is a bad idea." She set her flatware down hard on the table.
Rupert, who had been busily working his way through his dinner, jerked his head up and looked around to see what was going on.
Delilah ignored the outburst and reached across the table to take Robin's paws in hers. "Oh, Robin! It sounds horrible. Perhaps there is something I can do to help you with the problems at the school. I'll make some calls and see what I can do about your situation." She tightened her fingers around the girls clenched fists. "There is something I want you to always, always remember. No matter what happens, no matter who says bad things about you. You are perfect just the way you are. You are who you are supposed to be. You are beautiful and you are worthy of love and respect."
Robin started to pull back, but Delilah refused to let her go. "You are going to make stupid mistakes. That's part of growing up, part of life really when you look at it. But so what, everyone makes stupid mistakes. People are going to tell you that you're crazy, that you shouldn't bother trying to do this at all, but they are wrong. You know inside you that you are right. You know what you need to be happy; don't lose sight of that. It's a fight, between you and everyone who doesn't understand you. People are going to shun you, bully you, verbally abuse you, all in the name of doing what's better for you. Don't give into them. Don't let them win. Don't let them take away who you are and make you fit into one of their neat little boxes."
Robin stopped trying to pull away as Delilah's words sank in. "It's a lot simpler than it seems. It's not easy, kit, but it's simple. We tend to forget that and make things more complicated than they need to be. People hate things they don't understand, so they lash out and hurt you, because you're different than they are. It happens to anyone who is special, who doesn't fit in perfectly. I know you've seen it happening to other people at your school." Robin nodded in agreement and Delilah smiled. "It gets so tiring trying to live up to the standards society sets when you aren't what they see as 'normal.' I promise you that I will be the voice of reason for you. I will be the one who is here and understands you, no matter what you're going through. I've been through it too."
* * * * *
Ten years later...
Robin Claremont paused to take a deep breath. She straightened her skirt, checked her hair in the mirror one more time. "You can do this," she told herself, flashed a bright smile, and left the restaurant restroom. She paused at the hostess station and waited while a young couple was seated before it was her turn.
"How can I help you, Miss?" The pretty calico feline dressed all in black asked her.
"I'm here to meet a party; it might be under the name Vahn."
The feline ran her finger down the bookings in her ledger and stopped at a special notation. "Here it is; it seems you're in one of our private dining rooms. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to them." She was lead to a small room that held two occupants, a female puma and a young cub about 12 years of age. "Your server will be along shortly," the hostess said as she closed the door behind herself.
"Hi, I'm Robin." She walked confidently forward and shook the woman's outstretched paw.
"Mercedes, and this is Jazzlyn." She began to introduce her son, when the boy glared at her and snapped.
"Mom, I've told you, it's just Jazz."
Robin smiled to herself. This one didn't need much emotional support, but the mother was going to be a challenge. She settled herself at the table and began to consider her plan of attack. "Jazz, don't be so hard on your mom. She's not trying to be mean; she's scared. The whole world is scared. No one knows who they are anymore; they lie to themselves on a daily basis, just to try and fit in. But people try too hard, and it's a waste of time. You can look for critics if you want to, but you'll find them around every corner. They won't understand you; they won't like how you dress, or they won't like what you do with your hair. There is no pleasing them. So why bother trying to?"
Jazz looked at her for a long moment then smiled and nodded.
"I want you to remember something for me. No matter what happens, no matter who tells you that you should change, you are perfect." She looked at Mercedes and smiled slightly, "And you are perfect, too."
Inspired by the song Perfect by Pink
Lyrics - http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pink/fuckinperfect.html