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Chapter Nineteen: Old Wounds

Detective Nick Wilde sat in Judy and his patrol car, staring blankly out at the foliage and lush greens of the Rainforest District. His eyes were tired, and he brought his paw up to wipe them in a desperate attempt to bat away the sleepiness. The excitement of the mornings events had already wiped out the poor fox, but he was doing his best to keep his wits sharp and eyes focused. It had been three hours, and they still hadn't found Dawn or Vernon. They had been following a trail of vague and spotty sightings from working cameras, but they still hadn't been able to cut them off. On top of that, they seemed to be running into every possible construction and road project in the district in their efforts to bag the two.

"Nick, are you even listening?"

Nick grunted in response to Judy's question. The rabbit had spent the past three hours spitting out a tirade of complaints and lamentations about failing to catch Dawn. By now Nick had tuned it all out, after the first twenty minutes it had all boiled down to the same rotation of complaints and Nick was tired of hearing it. Especially since the fox was biting his tongue on telling Judy exactly why Dawn had slipped through her fingers.

"UGGH!" The rabbit groaned, causing the fox to glance over at her. She was now slumped over the steering wheel, with her ears draped over her face.

"Here I am, trying my best to catch those two fugitives and my partner is daydreaming!" She pounded a paw against the dashboard.

"I've heard it already Carrots." Nick grunted. "I have my eyes on the road and my ears on the radio. There's not much else I can do at this point." Nick groaned.

"Ugh." The rabbit lightly hit her head against the dash board a few times. "I was too soft on her! I should kept my eyes on her at all times! Someone should have went back there with her!"

"Apparently 'ol Puppy is the one we should have kept our eyes on." Nick chuckled.

Judy turned to look at him, her face seemingly disgusted. "Ugh, what was his problem anyway!? Why does he care what happens to Dawn?"

"They're pretty close. I mean they have been sharing an apartment since the fire." Nick said plainly.

"I still can't believe they LIVE TOGETHER!" Judy sputtered. "It's so weird!"

Nick stifled a chuckle, leaning in and giving the rabbit a half lidded stare.

"Really?" Nick arched his eyebrows, exaggerating an confused expression. "Seems normal to me, although I may be biased." The rabbit rolled her eyes in response.

"Y-you-" The rabbit stammered. "You know what I mean." The rabbit jousted her arms out.

"How could a predator stand being around a mammal with Dawn's history?" Judy's arms flopped back to her sides, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"Beats me. But whatever the reason he seems dead set on proving she's innocent." The fox took his coffee from the nearby cup holder, and proceeded to take a swig.

"Yeah, highly likely." Judy scoffed. "C'mon, it's Doug we're talking about here. You know she's involved somehow." The rabbit sighed. "I should have just cuffed her the moment we got there."

"No, the problem is you went in too hard Carrots." Nick's eyes went wide. He hadn't meant to let that slip out, but his exhaustion had gotten the better of him. Looking back at Judy, he could see her nose twitching in annoyance.

"What!?" The rabbit sneered.

Nick sighed, he had gotten himself into this mess, and so he thought it best to press onward and get it over with.

"You went in there all ready to bag Bellwether for a criminal charge. The Mayor may have called for us to take her in, but we both know between the evidence from the arson case and the alibi for Polaraski's murder is more than enough to make any criminal charges dubious." Nick cleared his throat before taking another sip of coffee. "I told you before we went it that we should make it clear that taking her in was more for her protection anyway. But you ended up scaring 'ol Puppy into doing something stupid."

The rabbit stared at Nick, jaw agape. "I can't believe this! Who's side are you on Nick!?"

"I'm on the side of figuring out the whole truth behind this thing Carrots!" Nick raised his voice. "And it makes it harder to do that when you fly off the handle like that!"

"I can't believe what I'm hearing!" The rabbit huffed. "Some friend you are Nick."

That stung the fox. Was Judy even serious? Was she even aware what she had just said. Either way that had been enough to set the fox off. He involuntarily pulled out his fox spray, and began flicking the nozzle on and off.

"SOME FRIEND I AM!?" Nick yelped. "SOME FRIEND I AM!?" He repeated.

The rabbit seemed to shrink at Nick's words.

"Carrots, I always back you up no matter what. We live together, we hang out together all the time! But I disagree with you once and your writing off our friendship over it!?" Nick snarled.

"It's not just this!" Judy protested. "You lied to me about the arson case! You never even told me about it till yesterday!"

"And you didn't tell me you held on to Dawn's number, did you Carrots?" The fox retorted. "You can't tell me you don't see why keeping the case from you until it was impossible was the only thing I could do!"

Judy grit her teeth. "Oh why!? Because I'm so emotional!? Bunnies are oh so emotional!" The rabbit placed her arm against her face, leaning back and making a fainting gesture.

"Oh don't make it about that!" Nick huffed. "It's not because you are a bunny! It's because she screwed you over! She screwed us over!" The fox barked, flicking the safety nozzle even more aggressively.

Judy let out an over exaggerated sigh, before waiving a paw at the fox spray. "AND THIS!" Judy snarled. "WHY DO YOU KEEP THIS HORRIBLE STUFF ON YOU!?"

The rabbit went to grasp at the bottle, only for the fox to pull it away. She continued to paw at it, causing Nick to have to keep her at bay by pushing her away by the head.

"IT'S TO MOCK ME RIGHT!? THE SPECIEST BUNNY AND HER SPECIEST FAMILY! LOOK AT HOW BACKWOODS THEY ARE! THEY STILL MAKE FOX REPELLANT FOR 'EM!" Judy flailed at him.

"It's because..."

"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT BOTHERS ME! WHY NICK!? WHY!?" The rabbit continued to swat at the fox.

"IT'S TO PROTECT YOU!" Nick shouted, going silent as soon as the words left his muzzle.

Judy's flailing came to a sudden stop, her face now twisted up in utter confusion. She stared at the fox, ears drooping.

"W-what?' She muttered.

Nick sighed, running a paw over his scalp. It was time to tell her, tell her everything. He was finally going to make good on his promise to Finnick. Nick swallowed hard, scratching the back of his head as he tried to steel himself for the difficult conversation.

"Judy...." He mumbled uncomfortably. "I-" The fox looked down. "Your family was right about foxes okay?"

"What?" She replied.

"These past few years on the force, I've seen so much." Nick continued. "So many foxes involved domestic disturbances, drug crime, gang violence. I tried not to let it get to me at first. But as time went on it just started to wear me down." Nick leaned on his paw and sighed.

"I told myself it was just the nature of the job. That all I was going to see was the bad elements of society. But so many of our cases involved foxes Judes." He groaned. "I found myself wondering more and more often, 'They couldn't all be putting up a front like I was back before we met, could they?'"

Nick let out another sigh. "I tried to be sympathetic Carrots, I really did. I had a rough childhood too. But..."

"When that drunk bit you..." Nick felt a chill run down his spine as recalled the rabbit's accident. "I just gave up on all of them."

Judy had heard everything. But she was now lost in a rush of painful memories. Her anger long dissipated as the fox poured his heart out to her. But the mere mention of her near death experience at the hands of a drunk and disorderly fox forced it to replay in her mind.

It was a simple public disturbance call, some vixen's ex had turned up outside her apartment and was screaming up a storm. Judy and Nick had handled things like this plenty of times, even a few regarding this specific couple. Needless to say Judy had let her guard down by that point. In previous altercations, the fox had never been too much trouble. The worst he seemed to be capable of was an extremely creative use of colorful language. That's why the rabbit simply froze under his sudden lunge toward her face.

Judy inadvertently clutched her throat, gently rubbing her scar as the memory of the searing pain shot through her. She only remembered the shock after the fox was off her, and then the encroaching cold. She could hear Nick talking to her, but despite her eyes being wide open she couldn't see anything. She was certain in that moment that she was going to die, and yet the only thing she could find herself regretting in that moment was the thought that she'd be leaving Nick.

When she came to, she was in the hospital. The rabbit was propped up on a bed, and hooked up to several different machines. The first thing she could remember feeling was the pain in her throat. It felt as though hot lava had been poured down her esophagus. She went to grasp at her neck with a paw, but felt a weight keeping it from rising. Looking over she found the unconscious body of Nick Wilde, snoring loudly as he leaned on her bedside, his paw intertwined with hers.

The fox looked like he'd been through hell and back. The bags under his eyes were the worst she had seen, and his shirt had a variety of sweat and coffee stains all over it. Judy could barely even sigh with relief, the pain in her throat preventing it from coming out easily.

She had lived, somehow she had lived. She wasn't going to end up a cautionary tale told by her Mother and Father to the other Hopps children, and most importantly she was still with Nick. It was in that moment she made the conscious decision to tell Nick how she felt about him when the time was right. Life was too short to fear such petty things, especially when something wonderful had a chance of coming out of her confession.

Unfortunately the rabbit would have to wait some time before being able to tell Nick how she felt was even an option. It would take two months of physical therapy to get the rabbit back to speaking comfortably. Her vocal chords were damaged during the attack, but thankfully they weren't severed. She was out of work for a full month, Nick practically chained to her side during the bulk of it. The fox was stoic emotionally, trying not to let his worry show. But Judy could see it in the way he doted over her. She spent her first week out of the hospital at the Hopps family farm, which only compounded the amount unnecessary tending Judy found herself on the receiving end of.

Aside from needing a dry erase board to speak with, Judy could care for herself. The incident hadn't impaired her ability to do any of a normal mammal's daily routine. But her parents and Nick were insistent on making everything as comfortable as possible for her. It was the first time in a long time she was glad to get away from the Hopps family farm when the week finally came to an end. While it wouldn't stop Nick from doting on her, he was at least easier to handle.

By the time the Stoat Case came to the mammal's desk, she had pretty much gotten her voice back, albeit with the occasional raspy scrape. But she had moved on, aside from the pain of being on the receiving end of the assault the rabbit gave the accident little thought. It hadn't changed her view on mammals or foxes in general, it was simply a risk of the job. But Nick on the other hand had changed. When she finally returned to the ZPD that was the first time she noticed his new fox spray can crammed into his holster.

She almost felt stupid for not putting it together sooner. It was that accident, that close call with death that caused Nick to carry the spray. He had been so guilty over what had happened that the spray had become a talisman, something to make sure he remembered the accident, and to make sure it didn't happen again. It hadn't been about foxes, it had been about Judy.

"I-I couldn't forgive myself Carrots. I s-should have done something...I-"

"Nick" Judy stopped the fox. Nick turned to face her, and Judy could see his eyes had become glossy. It was clear he was fighting back tears.

"It's not your fault, It's not your species fault. It was an accident." Judy cooed.

"B-but Jude-" Judy placed a claw up to the foxes muzzle to silence him.

"It's just part of the job Nick, any mammal could have done that to me. It just happened to be a fox. But that's not all foxes, that's not you Nick." The rabbit smiled weakly.

"This kind of job can make you hate every mammal because you only get to see the worst of them. But outside of it we have our friends..." The rabbit sighed. "We have each other."

She watched tears begin to pour out of Nicks eyes, clearly unable to hold it anymore.

"And having you with me gave me the strength to pull through Nick, and the strength to keep going and not let what happened affect me."

"I'm scared Judy....I hate to a-admit it but I'm damn scared." Nick wiped his eyes.

"That moment made everything so clear to me, and now this job has went from helping keep the city safe to protecting you. Every time we go into work I'm worried that you won't be coming home with me that night." The fox shook his head.

"You don't think I know that!?" Judy wrapped her arms around the fox, leaning her head into his chest.

"I've felt the same way since you got shot Nick." Judy smiled. "But we do what we have to do to keep Zootopia safe. It's why we joined the ZPD." Judy's own tears were beginning to flow.

"I didn't join the ZPD for Zootopia's sake you dumb bunny!" Nick laughed through his sobs. "I joined it...for you."

Judy looked up at the fox. Nick was smiling down at her, tears still streaming from his eyes. Judy smiled back, a sob choking out of her throat.

"Dumb fox." She sniffled hard.

"I never want to lose you Judy...I-I-." Nick stammered.

Judy's breath hitched in her throat. There was no way in her wildest dreams that Nick was about to say what she was hoping he would.

"I-"

"Hopps, Wilde, this is Clawhauser." The radio suddenly crackled, causing the two to pull away from each other as if they had been caught necking by their parents.

Judy clumsily grasped at the radio, letting off a few silent curses before bringing the microphone to her mouth.

"Lieutenant Hopps and Detective Wilde reporting in, what's happening Clawhauser?" She responded, doing her best to hide the warble in her voice from the previous emotional moment.

"Someone reported shots being fired near Cliffside. Local traffic cam caught a wolf and Sheep riding in a sky tram on its way to Cliffside Asylum." The radio crackled in reply.

"Cliffside Asylum, yuck." Nick wiped his eyes. "Not that place again."

"Did anyone confirm it as Dawn and Vernon?" Judy replied.

"Oh um..." Clawhauser muttered. "We're pretty sure over here, but were sending the footage over to you guys. Should be there in a second." The cheetah replied.

Judy turned to her partner, giving the fox a confused look.

"They didn't have any firearms with them right?" She asked.

"Don't think so." Nick replied.

A ping emanated from their police computer, and with a few quick touches and swipes Judy brought up the video in question. The shot was poorly angled, but she could see the wolf and lamb standing at the edge of the platform, seeming talking to someone.

"It looks like they're talking to someone, but I can't see who. Darn camera!" The rabbit spat.

"Is she holding up your carrot pen Judes?" She heard Nick interject.

The rabbit paused the video, squinting at the screen. The little glimmer of orange was hard to see, but it was indeed her pen. Judy involuntarily felt her back pocket to find it empty, further confirming the identity of the orange speck.

"I gave it to Vernon to fill out his statement. I guess he held on to it." Judy felt Nick's face brush up next to hers. The two were now inches away from the screen as the rabbit continued playing the video.

The wolf and sheep jumped into the oncoming tram so quickly Judy barely registered it. But what was easy to see was the sparks flying off the exterior as bullets exploded into the side of the cart.

"Someone's after them." Nick stated flatly.

Judy slammed herself back hard into the driver's seat. She grit her teeth as she turned the ignition causing the cruiser to roar to life.

"Then we have to get to Cliffside Asylum before they do!" Judy barked.

Throwing the clutch into high gear Judy mashed her foot against the gas, and the cruiser took off like a streak toward the lonely and dark structure that loomed in the distance.