FSE

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Disclaimer: Okay, any copyrighted stuff I used belongs to its respective owner, I was not paid to use it, blah blah blah, don’t try to reenact what you read here. And all user names were used with permission. My fursona (and all my characters) are mine and may not be used without my permission…otherwise I’ll have to find and kill you for copyright infringement, like they did back in the 1700s. …….wait…where was my cutaway gag like from Family Guy? Dang it. Anyway, here’s part 3, the final chapter.*************And so John and I ended up in jail. We were kept in holding for about an hour while they processed us. However, little did I know my adventure in Liberty City would be coming to an end very soon. It would involve us working with some of my friends, and it would end with us nearly destroying half the city and forcing us to escape to Los Santos out in the state of San Andreas. (Cue the intro song)Me: Well this is just great. I’m stuck in a holding cell, I’m probably gonna get twenty years to life, and I can’t even get some work done on My Great Big Brother!NightWolvz: It’s okay dude. All they do is confiscate your guns and take some of your cash as a bribe. Me: Umm, that was in the game. THIS IS REAL LIFE.NW: Oh. Right.(Enter FurryForLife)FFL- Okay, I’ve been sent here to get you two down to processing and…what the? Kyle? What are you doing here?Me: I got arrested for blowing up my penthouse in Algonquin. FFL- Wait, that was you?Me: Technically it was John. FFL- John? Wait…I know you! You were with the fur mob I started back at Halloween when we rushed his house. What are you two doing here?Me: I rented a penthouse to escape my insane fans, but I couldn’t afford the rent so I invited my friends to stay with me if they’d chip in on the rent.FFL- Who else did you have with you?Me- (Looks over to see Sylvr and Product59 being hauled in) Those two.Cop- Okay Captain, we got the two responsible for that 200 car pileup in front of the Petersmicht Suites building.FFL- Umm, yeah. You can just send them to processing with me.Cop â€" You sure?FFL- Yeah yeah. You two, follow me.(The five of us walk to FFL’s office)FFL- (sits at desk) Okay, so…how do we do this?Me- Question. Since when do you work for the LCPD?FFL- Technically I work for the Federal Investigation Bureau. Me- How’d you land a job with the FIB?FFL- They admired my stalking skills and gave me a job in their Counter Terrorist and Drug Enforcement division.Me- I should have guessed.FFL- Now, currently I have a list of crimes against you. Let’s see, possession of a controlled substance, car jacking, murder, assault on a police officer, using a motor vehicle to run from said police officer, murder of a police officer, possession of illegal firearms, vandalism, piloting a helicopter without a license, assault with a firearm, use of illegal munitions, arson, and terrorism.Me- Sooooo, that’s like ten years right?FFL- Actually I’m surprised the cop who brought you in didn’t shoot you on sight.Me- Oh.FFL- Not to worry though. Sylvr- Not to worry? FFL- Yes. For one thing, we don’t have the death penalty in this state.Product59- Oh thank God.FFL- And that’s not the good news.P59- It’s not?FFL- Yep. Since I enjoy Arctic’s work so much, I’m gonna allow all of you guys to walk free…on one condition.NW- What?FFL- You have to work undercover for us to help bust a drug ring.NW- Wow. I’m sorry, but that is soooooooooooo overdone.FFL- Excuse me?NW- You know, the whole thing where we’re like the good guys, but we’ve done some bad shit, so we get a chance to redeem ourselves by working for the cops. Sorry, but I’ve seen like twenty movies or episodes of CSI where that happens.FFL- Your point?NW- My point is we’ll do it.  But we better get some cool looking sun glasses.FFL- (looks to Me) You’re friends with these people?Me- ……………..kinda. FFL- Okay then. Anyway, I’ll just get the paperwork and you guys can sign on as undercover agents. Sylvr- Umm, sorry but I think I missed something. Why are you helping us again?FFL- Because you’re Arctic’s friends. And if he’s in jail, he can’t finish his story, now can he? Besides, this job might be dangerous and I’d feel better if he had a few meat shields around him.Sylvr- Oh, that makes sense and wha….wait a minute. Meat shields?FFL- I…I mean backup. Sorry, slight slip of the tongue there.Sylvr- You’d better give me some body armor or I swear I’m gonna come back and haunt you. FFL- I live next to a Catholic priest. Good luck not getting exorcised within five minutes of haunting me.Sylvr- …………dang.***********Two hours later, in the police station armory.Sylvr- Wow! They have the coolest stuff in here! I’m totally grabbing this P90 and Glock 17. P59- Dibs on the AA-12.Me- Right. John, you can’t be armed because FurryForLife said that you are gonna initiate a deal with the Russians, and when you’ve confirmed that there is a meth lab on site we’ll come in and bust ‘em.NW- Awwww, why don’t I get a gun?Me- Because they’re gonna frisk you for weapons.NW- Do I get to be frisked by hot Asian chicks?Me- (Thinks for a second) …Yes.NW- Score!Sylvr- (Looks to me and whispers) Really?Me- No, it’s gonna be weird and gay as usual.Sylvr- (Snickers) FFL- Alright guys, enough horsing around. Now, do you know where we’re going? All of us â€" Nope.FFL â€" Okay, it’s a nightclub known as Dave’s Rave.NW- NO WAY! This is gonna be awesome!Me- Why?NW- Because a couple of days ago I went to it and danced there. I got some drunk chick to let me take photos of her dancing topless! I even got to post them on Yiffstar (Note: Not really). Sylvr- Umm, you do know that that club is owned by the Irish Mob, right? And that the Russians and Chinese have people there too?NW- Who cares when you get to dance to hip hop tracks with a glow stick?P59- Hip hop? Oh god, this is gonna suck. NW- Why?Me- Because he and I like metal, and hip hop is not metal. NW- Aww c’mon, it’s still good.Me- Let’s just go.*************And so we all headed out to the nightclub. Only things got really…well just see for yourself. P59- Oh fk, I can feel this music slowly killing me!NW- Suck it up and dance. (Starts waving a green glowstick around, but hits me in the head)Me- OW! Watch it you idiot, we’re trying to keep a low profile here.NW- Right, so what do we do again?Me- You’re supposed to get someone to lead you to the meth lab in the back, and once you find it me, Sylvr, and Product will rush in and bust the dealers.NW- Shouldn’t we get a SWAT team to do that?Me- FurryForLife said that we’d have backup ready at a moment’s notice, but a SWAT team is hard to hide, so it’ll take them a few minutes to get here. Which means DON’T BLOW OUR COVER.NW- Psh, who me? I blend in here like blue on the sea. (Swings glowstick and whacks a girl fox in the back of the head)Fox- OW! Hey watch it you jerk!NW- Sorry.Fox- Waaaaiiiiiiit. OH MY GOD! Michael this is that pervert that got me drunk and put naked photos of me on the internet.Michael (Gray fox) â€" What! You sick fuck, how dare you put photo’s of my sister on the internet.NW- (Thinking to self: Ooooohhh crap) Um, I didn’t know she was your sister. Sorry.Michael- Sorry? Oh you’re gonna be sorry! (Sucker punches John in the stomach) Hey, Derrick! Packie! Get over here and help me beat this skinny piece of crap up!Me- Whoa, whoa, whoa friend, just take a step back. (Draws Desert Eagle)Sylver (Draws P90) Get away from John, now!P59- (Tries to draw AA-12, but due to its bulk it snags on his trench coat and he accidently fires a shell into the floor)BANG!P59- Oops.Random Dancer- OH MY GOD HE’S GOT A GUN!(Everyone starts flipping out and screaming)Chinese Triad â€" FUCK! IT’S THE COPS! (Draws gun and aims for Sylvr)Me- GET DOWN! (Pulls Sylvr down as Triad fires) (Triad’s bullet strikes and kills Russian Mafioso)Russian Mafioso #2- Shit! It’s a raid! Zose Chinese prickz are here to steal our merchandise! (Various Russian mobsters open fire into the crowd of panicking dancers. Chinese return fire. Irish Mobsters join in as well)(INTENSE GUNFIRE)Me- Holy shit! Quick, turn those tables over and use them for cover!(We get behind the table)Sylvr- What the hell Product! P59- Hey, this thing’s heavy. It’s not my fault the trigger slipped. (Notices DJ get shot and killed). Excuse me a second.   (Sneaks off to turntable).Me- Where’s he going?(Product changes music from hip hop to Welcome to the Jungle) P59- YEAH YEAH! Now this is a song to have a massive gang war shootout to!Me- Dude, quick screwing around and get back here!Sylvr- It’s okay, I think that as long as we stay behind this table we’ll be fine.(Shotgun blast suddenly punches a big ass hole right between me and Sylvr).Me and Sylvr- (looks at hole) HOLY SHIT!NW- C’mon we gotta go!Me- Are you nuts? It’s a mad house out there!NW- Aww come on, it’s not that bad…(Irishman suddenly gets blasted in the chest by a shotgun and goes flying over the table and lands in front of us).NW- OH MY GOD! Sylvr- Just blindfire and run when the coast is clear!(Me, Sylvr, and Product open fire) Me- (Looks over table). Huh. Guys, you can stop shooting. Everyone’s dead. Sylvr- Really? Holy crap you’re right. And you weren’t kidding either. EVERYONE is dead. P59- Hey, John what are you doing!NW- Just taking more photos of that fox. I think she’s sexier with those bullet holes in her stomach.Me- What the fuck dude? Necrophilia is NOT COOL.NW- What? No this is gonna be joke I’m gonna…Me- Give me the freakin’ phone. (Takes phone and snaps it in half)NW- Aww come on man! That thing was $200! Me- Well if you hadn’t taken those photos with it in the first place we wouldn’t be in this mess!NW- But everything’s fine now.Me- (Cell phone rings) Hello?FFL- (Through phone) Kyle, what the hell did you guys do?Me- Umm, we kinda accidently killed everyone here.FFL â€"Ugh, we needed those people ALIVE! The LCPD just put out a 6 star wanted level on you guys. I can delay their arrival but you guys gotta get out of there now!Me- (Hangs up) COME ON GUYS! We gotta go, we just fucked the neighbor’s wife and now he’s coming at us with golf club!Sylvr- What?P59- He means we have a 6 star wanted level you retard.(We all run outside)NW- Oh man they’re getting close! What do we do? We don’t have car!Me- (Dials 227-555-0142) (AKA- Cheat code ;] )(A Cognoscenti sedan suddenly spawns in the street)Sylvr- WHOA! How’d you know to do that?Me- Internet.   (We all hop in the car, with me driving) Me- Okay, our only hope is to get to the airport and fly the fk away from here!(Takes off as a mass of cop cars comes around the corner and chases after us)Sylvr- Faster dude, they’re gaining on us!     Me- So shoot at them! It’s not like our wanted level can go up anymore. Sylvr- Oh, right. (Fires P90 at police cruiser trying to pull up alongside the car) Got him! He’s spinning out of control and making a huge mess back there! Me- Good, that’ll buy us some time to get to the airport.***********(We ditch the car in the parking garage and run out onto the tarmac)Sylvr- What now dude?! Airport security will be all over us any second now!Me- Shut up, I’m thinking. (Sees sign for air show featuring a pair of F-15 Eagles) Bingo. Follow me guys! (We run over to a pair of parked F-15s)NW- Wait…they don’t have fixed wing aircraft in GTA IV. Me- Then thank God for hackers, and for the fact that we can rip off a multi-million dollar franchise because no one from Rockstar Games comes on Yiffstar. NW- What?Me- Nothing, I’m just being random. C’mon, let’s go jack those planes.(Runs over to F-15s, and is greeted by starrfox, a Yiffstar user and one of the pilots)SF- Whoa, where do you think you’re…wait a minute…I know you!Me- Of course, I’m the guy from the news that everyone in the city is trying to kill.SF- Huh? No, I meant you’re ArcticWolf451!Me- Oh…(Thinks: Wait, a fan. Sweeeeet) Haha, um right…that’s what I meant.SF- So what brings you out here?Me- Weeeeelllll, me and my friends here are kinda running from the cops and we need to escape to the west coast.SF- Really? Why are the cops after you?Me- Umm, we had a slight misunderstanding at a nightclub.SF- Oh, yeah I’ve been there. Did they think you were buying drugs?Me- No, we accidently started a firefight between three rival mafias and about 400 innocent people died and we’re the only ones left for the cops to arrest.SF- HAHAHAHAHAH, that’s funny! See, this is why I like your writing. It’s so random!Me- Um, no I’m actually serious. I need to go, NOW. SF- Wait…for real?Me- Yes.SF- Serially?Me- Yes.SF-   You’re not screwing with me?Me- YES, FOR THE LAST TIME!SF- Sorry, it’s just I’d never expect you to be in this kinda situationMe- That makes two of us and…oh crap the cops are on the tarmac. Quick, my friends and I need to borrow these F-15s.SF- I don’t know, I might get in trouble for that. Me- Please?SF- Sorry, can’t help yah.Me- Well, since you are a loyal fan and all, how ‘bout I autograph your helmet before I go to jail? SF- Really! Sure, that’d be great. Here, I have a Sharpie too.Me- (Takes helmet, but then bashes it into his face). Okay, I got the keys. (Signs helmet) Sorry dude, but I can’t disappoint my fans by getting anally raped in jail and forced to hang myself with my jumpsuit in my cell. That’d really keep me from finishing my stories.SF- Ow…you sonufa bitch! I was just holding out for a bribe, you didn’t have to hit me!Me- Oops. Sorry man. Ah well, too late now. John, here, you and Product get in that F-15 and Sylvr and I will take this one.(John and I climb into the pilot seats, while Sylvr and Product take the Rear Intelligence Officer’s seats).Me- (Shouts): Okay, put on the helmet so you can get oxygen and talk to me through the radio!NW- Okay, radio check.Me- I hear yah.Sylvr- Umm, Kyle…you do know how to fly this thing right?Me- Of course. Any idiot can pilot a twenty five million dollar plane designed to fly combat operations. It’s like riding a bike. And I’ve played a shitload of flight sims in my lifetime.Sylvr- Oh good, cause I was afraid you had no idea what you were do…(I try to start the plane, but instead launch a AIM-120 straight off the plane and into the hoard of approaching police cars)(KA BLAMO!)Me- Damn it! How do you start this thing?Sylvr- Oh my god! OH MY GOD! I’m gonna die!Me- Hey, it’s okay I found the start button. (Engines start to spool up) John, you ready yet?NW- Almost….okay my engines are online.Product- Umm, John…how do you know how to fly this thing?NW- I threw back two shots of vodka back at the night club. I’m not wasted, but I have enough of a buzz to be able to do crazy impossible stuff that I would never attempt in any other state of mind.Product- Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh shit.Me- Okay, I’m gonna taxi onto the runway for takeoff. John, follow me out. (Throttles up enough to push F-15 onto the runway)Sylvr- OMG, OMG, OMG, I’m dead! Me- Dude, quick kicking the seat and calm down! It’s gonna be okay. But just in case, you might want to repent your sins now while we’re still on the ground.Sylvr- THAT’S REAL COMFORTING, YOU KNOW THAT?Me- Oh shit, cops. Quick, throttle to 100% and…(Afterburners kick in and the plane soars down the runway).Sylvr- HOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYY SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!Me- (Puts plane in a 70 degree angle climb on full afterburner) WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!  (Cue the song Danger Zone from the movie Top Gun at this point. I suggest YouTubing it right now for added effect)Sylvr- We’re gonna die! OMG! Me- Dude, calm the fuck down, okay? This is the last episode, so we have to do some crazy over the top shit where we live out our childhood fantasies in a way that is totally unrealistic and completely unfeasible.Sylvr- …….what?Me- See, you calmed down.Sylvr- Am I high…or are you high…or is everything around me just going insane?Me- (Levels the plane off at 20,000 feet. John pulls up his plane alongside mine)  NW- Umm, what’s that beeping sound?Me- OH BULLSHIT! How’d the LCPD call the Air Force over here? Look out dude, we got four F-16s coming in hot!NW- BRING ‘EM ON!Me- Quick, we gotta get low so they can’t get a missile lock! (Rolls plane so it’s upside down, and then pulls back on the stick so it goes into an inverted dive)Sylvr- OOOOOHHHHH MYYYYYY GOOOOOODD!!!!!!! I think I’m gonna be sick…..Me- (Starts singing along with the background music) HIIIIGHH WAAAAAY TOOO THE DANGER ZONE! RIIIIIIDE IIIIINNNNNTOOOOO THE DANGER ZONE!Sylvr- Dude, what the hell are you doing?Me- I’m singing along with the back ground song, what’s the big deal?Sylvr- What background music? Holy fuck, he’s gone insane. (Smiles and starts to spaz out) Well, this is it. I’m dead, WOO HOO! I wonder if they nachos in Heaven, cause I could so go for some right now.Me- (Suddenly levels the plane off at 100 feet, so the jet is screeching at Mach 1.4 while just barely hovering above the ground). Sylvr! Snap out of it and tell me where the F-16s are! NW- Kyle! You got one on your tail!Me- SHIT! (Throttles down so plane slows down to 400 MPH) (F-16 Overshoots and flies over me) HAHA! Gotcha! (Throttles back up and follows F-16). Switching to AIM-9 Sidewinders! Product- WHOA! John behind us! Pair of F-16s!NW- HANG ON! (Performs barrel roll and suddenly flies down a row of skyscrapers while only 500 feet above the ground) (Beeping) SHIT! How’d they get a missile lock on me at this altitude? INCOMING! (Pulls up, banks left, and dives down another street).(AIM-9 following John follows but slams into a building)NW- Phew, that was close. CRAP! NOT ANOTHER ONE!Product- Use the flares dude!NW- POPPING FLARES! (Flares fly out and blind the drivers below him, but also blind the AIM-9 which dives and crashes into a massive traffic jam)Product- Whoa…..well that’s one way to fix a city’s rush hour traffic problem.Me- (Flying at 5000 feet now) I got a lock! Firing Sidewinder! (Missile flies true and blows up the F-16) GOT HIM! Huh, oh crap! John, I got one on my tail! NW- I see you, engaging target! Me- (Dives back down into the city streets) (F-16 stays on my tail, and opens fire with 20mm cannon)Me- SHIT! I’m hit! I’m hit! The left engine’s flaming out! (Goes back to full afterburner, which inadvertently causes a powerful jet wash that blows a car off the road and into the air) Sylvr- Whoa dude, you’re really sweeping the streets! Fuck, he’s trying to line up for another gun shot!(20mm cannon bullets fly past the F-15) Me- OH SHIT! HANG ON! (Throttles down and pulls up as the street runs out into a 3 way intersection with a large hotel at the end)(F-16 fails to pull up in time and crashes into the hotel)Me- YES! That’s two down, two to go! Product- John look out! Those F-16s are back!NW- Shit! Kyle cover my tail! (Goes full afterburner and pulls straight up) (F-16s follow John and try to get a lock on him)NW- Kyle, come on! I need help!Me- Almost there…locking on! Fuck, they’re deploying chaff, I can’t use my AIM-120s!NW- Damn it, they got a lock on me! Product- INCOMING AIM-120! FIRE CHAFF!NW- FIRING! (Deploys chaff rockets. Soon, a cloud of aluminum foil leaflets confuses the AIM-120 and it shoots past John’s plane and explodes at 10,000 feet)Me- Dude, cut the power and let them overshoot!NW- Roger that! (Throttles down to 30% power) (F-16s shoot past him)NW- I got you now! (Opens fire with 20mm cannon) (20mm cannon shells rip apart one F-16, the wreckage of which crashes into the second one)NW- Two birds with one stone! Alright!Me- Good, now form up on me and let’s get out of here.(John pulls up so his plane is 200 feet to my right)NW- I can’t believe we did it dude!Me- I know right? Now all that’s left is to fly out to San Andreas to hide out until FurryForLife tells us it’s safe to go home.NW- Does that mean we get to spend Christmas in Las Venturas?Me- HALE YEAH IT DOES!Sylvr- Bring on the booze and underage gambling! Product- And huge ass gaming conventions! (Top Gun Theme plays as we fly into the sunset as we head west)                                                                         THE END (Roll the credits…wait…I’m too lazy to make them, so basically thank you if you let me use your user name in this. Yeah, that’s about it.)(Cue the post credits bonus scene)                                                                         Epilogue(We’re landed at some middle of nowhere airport refueling our planes in Kansas. The airport owner agrees not to talk to the cops after we pay him off by giving him the missiles from our planes, which he can sell on Ebay to people looking for Top Gun memorabilia). Sylvr- Hey Kyle, is this really the end, or are you gonna do another series with us in San Andreas?Me- I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll have to see how I feel. NW- Well anyway, what happens now?Me- We get in our planes and fly west my friend.(We jump back in and take off)Me- We’re getting pretty close to San Andreas. I wonder if we can get any of their radio stations. (Switches to K-DST, and Two Tickets to Paradise comes on) OH MAN I LOVE THIS ONE! (Starts singing along with it) NW- (Joins in with me over the radio)  Me & NW- I’ve got, TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE! Won’t you, PACK YOUR BAGS WE’LL LEAVE TONIGHT! Sylvr- (Also joins in)Product- Aww come on guys, that’s enough. C’mon. Quit singing! I HATE THIS SONG! IT’S NOT METAL! (Starts kicking John’s seat) SHUT UP! Me, Sylvr, and NW- I’ve got, TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE! I’ve got, TWO TICKETS TO PARADIIIIIIIISSSSEEEE. NW- (Starts singing along with the guitar solo) Dew dew deewww dew dew, dew deeewwww…Product- SHUT THE F*K UP DUDE! (This goes on for another few minutes as we fly off the screen)  The End (for real this time. No really. GO! Get out of here, there’s nothing left to see)