Our First Year Chapter 10
#10 of Our First Year
Hey guys, just wanted to give an update. I'm almost done with the story, one more chapter and the epilogue! The next two will probably be short, so I'll more than likely post them together. Glad you guys are enjoying the story! Thank you guys for sticking beside me!!!
P.O.V. Shawn
Let's see... an overview of the last several months... more or less same old same old. Jake and I went back to how we were before everything happened. A date here and there, several fun nights a week... quite proud of that myself. Except there's this problem that's been popping up. More precisely has been visiting our room quite frequently. It started with him getting accepted here for the spring semester. Since then this fur named Nick has been coming over almost every day. I don't get much alone time with Jake anymore, but when I say something he gets all defensive and they leave. Was everything he told me a lie?
"Man it's been a long day."
I fumbled in my pocket to get my keys. Finally untangling them from my headphones also resting in the depths of my pocket, I pull them out to unlock the door to my room. I noticed the sign hanging beside the door reading; "Live event, Magic show featuring Talented magician David Blane. Tickets purchasable up until March 4th at noon."
That deadline is two days away. I need to go get a few tickets for Jake and myself.
The lock clicked free. I pushed the door open to feel a gentle breeze across my cheek.
The windows open? I didn't leave it open and Jake left for class before me. He hasn't... maybe he came back for lunch?
My eyes darted around the room for some sign he had came and gone.
My eyes rested on his backpack that he had left on his side by his nightstand.
Strange... he wouldn't leave for class without that. Is something going on?
The door behind me opened to let Jake through with Nick a tail lengths behind.
"Oh, hey babe, I didn't know you were home. You mind if Nick and I play some games?"
"Actually I was wondering if you like to go with me to get tickets to the magic show. I figured it'd be a fun sort of date night for us."
Jake's nose scrunched up as he scratched the back of his head.
"Actually, I already had plans for that night. I was going to tell you, Nick offered me some dinner. So I was going to go. Would you like to come?"
Nick piped in behind Jake, "It would be amazing if you could come too! Dinner is my treat!"
My mind swam like a whirlpool with thoughts about doing bad things to Nick. He had stolen him a lot from me already and now he wants to take him to dinner?
"Actually guys, it's fine. You go to dinner. I'll see if Cindy wants to go. I think I remember her saying something about us never hanging out anymore."
"Awe babe! Don't be like that!"
"Like what Jake? What am I being?"
I realized a moment too late that I had balled my fists and was softly yelling. Jake's hurt expression bore into me harder than anything I had seen before but my rage was still building, my blood still boiling.
"Jake... I can't talk about this right now. Play games with Nick, I don't care. I'm going out."
Nick put a paw on Jake's shoulder.
"Silas, it's okay. It was an accident."
The last bit of maturity and calmness I had was just torn to shreds.
"Why are you consoling MY boyfriend about OUR argument? This is none of your business! And for the love of GOD would you stop calling him Silas?! It's bad enough that you stomped on his heart like you did a few months ago in the dayroom. Yeah, he told me about that. Now you take the liberty of saying you call him by his real name because you love him? And much less you told him you loved him when he had a boyfriend! I can't BELIEVE how immature you are when it comes to others space and feelings!"
Jake stepped between us, haulting any other thoughts I had flowing through my head, leaving me with shattered thoughts and a confused expression.
"That's enough Shawn! I understand you don't like him, but he's my best friend! And I'll be damned if I just LET someone talk about him like that. He loves me and he shows it. I haven't seen much love from you other than a few dates that YOU wanted and nothing but sex!"
Jake's words stabbed through my heart like a knife, leaving me defenseless and broken. My heart hurt and my head was numb. The only thing I could do was hold my head high and speak what little came to mind.
"Well then why don't you date him? He loves you more than I do I guess. You're happier with him. I'll talk to the chairwoman about switching rooms. No guarantees, but it might be possible if we just swap rooms."
I glanced into Jake's eyes. His eyes were glassy and wrought with tears, his mouth was slightly agape, and his breath was short and fast.
I looked down and away, riddled with anger and sadness, I couldn't bare to look in his eyes after what I knew hurt him so much.
I spoke in a soft whisper.
"I'll pack my things and by out by tomorrow. Thanks for everything you gave me."
I exited the room without giving him another glance. I couldn't bare to see the hurt in his eyes. The same hurt I was feeling in my heart. I stumbled halfway down the hall when my knees buckled and I fell against the wall, slowly gliding down until I lay restless on the floor, the only noise penetrating the silence being my sobs.
Footsteps echoed up the stairs. I braced myself and pushed myself off the ground, standing but still leaning against the wall.
When the fur reached the top of the stairs, I realized it was Cindy. She had just finished her class and was coming back to change.
When she glanced at me, her expression became worried and she darted to my side to support me.
"Shawn! What's wrong?"
I couldn't speak much through my sobs, but I still managed to choke out a few words.
"Jake... broke... up... moving out..."
I heaved heavily and shoved my muzzle into Cindy's shoulder and began crying uncontrollably, my thoughts focused on nothing but the ache I felt in my heart and the look on Jake's face.
Cindy shushed me and cradled me, eventually lifting me to my feet and shuffling to her room. Thankfully she didn't have any classes left today.
We laid in her bed for a few hours, her wrapped around me comforting me while I just cried. The door had opened and closed a few times, undoubtedly her roommate. I had never met her, but Cindy had said a few good things about her.
As time progressed, my heart sagged and my breaths slowed. I had a massive migraine, likely from the hours I had spent weeping, but my eyes felt dry, as if I could never cry again. Cindy's soft voice penetrated the silence.
"Hey."
I didn't reply more than a simply nod.
"Are you ready to tell me what happened?"
My paw clenched the pillow as I rolled myself tighter into a ball, blocking off the rest of the world.
"If you're not ready then don't worry about it. Take your time to heal, but it's getting late. You unfortunately can't sleep here... you're going to have to go back to your room. My roommate doesn't like people sleeping over."
I unclenched my paw and stared at my palm, my mind swimming with thousands of thoughts. I took a deep breath and pushed myself out of Cindy's bed and walked toward the door. I couldn't provide more than a whisper when I spoke.
"I know. Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder. I'll be in the office tomorrow. I'm switching rooms."
Cindy grabbed my paw before I could close the door.
"Shawn, go slow with this. It's not like ripping off a bandaid. If you do it like this you may never talk to him again. I know you still love him."
"He's choosing who he wants to be with. I guess it's not me. He loves that dog."
Cindy spun me around and pulled my muzzle to look at her so I was staring into her eyes.
"You don't know that unless he said so. What did he say?"
"He... said he'd be damned if anyone spoke I'll of his friend as I did. I betrayed him and hurt him, why would he want to be with me?"
Cindy let go of me and grabbed my shirt collar.
"He fucking loves you dumbass! He loves his friend too obviously, but you were the one there for him when his parents died, you can't deny that. So he may be torn now because of this "old love" interest. Get your ass in that room, suck up your pride, apologize, show you're the bigger fur and kiss and makeup!"
Cindy shoved me into the hall and slammed her door in my face. I stepped back and bumped into something behind me that was laying on the floor. I glanced behind me to see it was Jake, fast asleep, tear stains down his muzzle.
My heart broke again right there. I dropped to one knee, rubbing my eyes. I gently shook Jake's shoulder.
Jake stirred and blinked a few times. Finally coming around he realized who I was and quickly jumped at me, hugging me.
"You don't know how long I've waited for you to come back! I had thought I had lost you!"
I cleared my throat and nudged Jake off of me.
"I can't sleep anywhere else and you can't sleep in the hall..."
"I'll do whatever it takes! I was wrong to shout at you! I just panicked and jumped in to defend Nick. I've known him for years... he was my best friend."
I shook my head a bit.
"What do you mean was?"
"Well... after you left, I couldn't stand much less talk. All I could do was listen and watch him collect his things and leave. I felt so alone."
Jake's eyes began to tear up. My heart was aching and my mind fought my body to just wrap him in a huge hug.
"What... did he say anything?"
Jake wiped his eyes.
"No, he just left."
I clenched my fist and drew a deep breath.
"That bastard!"
Jake grabbed my arm.
"Shawn, it's fine."
I took another deep breath and stood up. I fished my keys out of my pocket and opened the door. I glanced back at Jake before I stepped through.
"Look, I'm still going to talk to the lady about switching tomorrow, but I'll have her stand by if she says yes. Nothing will be final tomorrow."
Jake choked back a sob and rubbed his eyes.
"Okay. If you feel that way I won't protest."
"Good. I'm going to sleep, I'll see you in the morning."
I laid down on my side of the bed facing away from Jake. I normally cuddled him, so it felt strange with nothing in front of me. My mind was busy analyzing the argument we had had earlier, focusing on everything wrong I had said. I felt Jake's paw rub down my side, stopping at my hip. He drew back and shuffled, turning around to face the other direction.
Without thinking, I flipped over and draped my arm over his waist. I drew in a deep breath of his scent, filling my nose with nothing but him. I fell asleep after a few breaths, my mind blank but his scent.
I awoke to an empty bed. I blinked a few times to get the sleepiness out of my eyes. I scanned the room and saw the door propped open by the deadbolt.
I shuffled to my feet and lazily waddled toward the door, my ears picking up on a hushed conversation on the other side.
One voice I clearly recognized as Jake. The other seemed broken, raspy, and almost trembling. On the verge of tears it sounded like.
I glanced at the clock quickly before grabbing the handle.
Four o'clock in the morning? Who is he talking to at four in the morning?
I rubbed my right eye lazily, swinging the door wide. Nick stood in front of Jake who had stepped out to the right side of the door. Jake's arms were folded tightly across his chest, his eyes sharp as if he'd been practicing this look for ages. Jake eyed me out of the corner of his eye, quickly shifting back to Nick.
Nick on the other hand looked worse for wear. His collar was soaked likely from tears, his eyes baggy, and his hair was scruffy and horrid looking. Nick's eyes were bloodshot and glassy, tear stains down his muzzle and a pained expression etched into his face. Nick never parted his attention to acknowledge me.
"Well since he's up always, why don't you ask him yourself?"
Jake's words were sharp and seemed to cut me even though I knew they weren't directed to me at all.
"How can I possibly ask him? Jake! He doesn't love you! I love you! He showed that when he walked out on you yesterday!"
Jake snapped back more ferocious than I could have given the little husky credit for.
"The way I remember it, both of you walked out. Shawn at least said something before he left. You just walked out."
Jake's cold words seemed to chill the air around us.
"Come on Silas! Please, I'm begging for you to come. I NEED you to come!"
Every word seemed to drag out longer than the previous, while each syllable made him sound closer to shattering.
I told you a few weeks ago to stop calling me that! The only people that call me that..."
"Are loved ones."
My interjection made Jake dropped his arms and stared at me blankly for a moment before gathering his senses and moving on.
"A....as I was saying... I do love you Nick, but not in that way anymore. I used to, emphasis on the "used". I'm in love with him and that's never going to change. I can't go with you because I have my own dreams to think about. I have three years of college left. I can't quite and follow some aimlessly for the rest of my life."
Nick drew a short breath, exhaling slowly adding a very dramatic effect. His eyes shot around, nothing able to keep his focus more than a second.
He finally shut his eyes. After a brief pause, Nick took a step back and dropped his gaze to the ground.
"So this is truly how you feel? This guy you haven't even known a year over your best friend?"
Jake dropped his arms again, taking a deep breath before he continued.
"Yes Nick. I haven't seen you in what feels like forever. I moved on with my life. I couldn't wait around for you forever. Hell, I thought you didn't even like me back, so that's why the feeling isn't mutual anymore. So please explain something to me I still don't know. Why did you just walk out yesterday? Without a word."
I shifted my weight in anticipation for the answer. I held my tongue last night about how he hurt Jake, but I could feel my fist forming before I could even think about it. I couldn't deny I was anxious to hear why he walked out.
"I.... I left because I... I wanted to get everything ready because I wanted to take you away. Away from all this... pain and heartache."
Jake didn't so much as move, his steely gaze seeming to bore a hole through Nick.
"I love you Nick, but Shawn isn't pain and heartache for me. He never left my side during the accident. He's the reason I was able to go home for the funeral. I couldn't imagine my life without him, much less leave him for someone else. I could never do that to him for how much he's done for me. He's cared about me more than anyone ever has."
My heart raced, my cheeks a bright red. I had never heard him say anything like that about me. A smirk curled on the edges of my lips. I tensed like I was about to move, but stopped, my heart begging to embrace him, but my mind refusing to accept it. It was clear just how much he loved me, but I was confused. Through his confusion, he hurt me, but now I hear him say theses things, I don't know what to believe.
"Jake."
He turned to look at me, a slightly surprised look on his face.
"Yeah?"
"Listen, I hear what you're saying, but now is not the time to be arguing with Nick about this. You have class in a few hours and school is priority."
Jake nodded, obviously not wanting to end it here, but willing to by the size of the bags under his eyes.
"You're right babe. I need some sleep. Didn't get a wink last night really."
Nick stomped his foot lightly as to not wake any others up.
"No! We will discuss this now or so help me I will leave this campus and never talk to you again!"
Jake turned to speak but I cut him off.
"Listen here bitch," I shoved my finger in his chest, making him stagger back, "never raise your voice to my boyfriend again or I will make sure you never walk again." Nick gulped audibly, his sheer fear prominent in his mucky yellow eyes. "Second, if you are really willing to cut all ties with Jake simply because he doesn't want to talk to you right now, you're an all new kind of low for a friend. I've never known someone to cut ties that easily. Despicable."
I displayed my best disgusted face as the gross word rolled off my tongue. I turned back to Jake, his eyes alight and gleaming.
"You can't talk to me like that!"
I shift my gaze back to Nick, my eyes piercing through him.
"You threatened my boyfriend, the one I hold so dear to my heart. I will talk to you any way I see fit. Get out of my face before I change my mind about staying calm."
Nick's face scrunched up, his discomfort and displeasure glued into muscle.
"Nick, if you don't leave then I will call the campus police for harassment."
"Jake!"
Jake swallowed hard, his eyes on the verge of tears.
"I mean it Nick. If you truly love me the way you said you do, then you'll leave well enough alone and let me be happy." A tear drifted down Jake's cheek.
"I... I can't believe I lost." Nick's shoulders slumped in defeat. His chin quivered and his eyes glassy.
Now!
I grab Jake by the waist and pull him to me, pressing my lips to his calmly. I didn't use tongue or anything, just a simple passionate kiss, lip to lip. My paw cupped Jake's cheek, the other sliding down to his thigh. I felt Jake place his paws against my chest, resisting at first, but milliseconds later, they were pulling me closer than I could physically go. Jake's lips were warm to the touch, transferring his heat to mine.
I heard footsteps in the distance, not caring anything of them. The footfalls echoed for a split second before dissipating into the stale air of the hall.
My lips still connected to Jake's, I wipe away the tear from his cheek. A few more took their place as his heart set around what this kiss actually meant. The signal that this was over. I had won and he accepted that. He was mine and NOT his. My pup. My fluffy butt. My curly tail and my play toy, but most of all, he was my best friend, my weakness, my lover, and most importantly, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.