Ander - Part 6: Subchapter 71
71
Dorin's eyes darted from the walls of stone on their flanks to the wall of wood barring the way. Hundreds and hundreds of Foxes were lining the top, each of them with a bow in hand and a quiver of arrows over their shoulder.
We're going to die here. The thought came with no fanfare, no explosive burst of panic. It was simply a fact.
He saw Mellah and Sorrin, looking down at them with such sadness in their eyes, like they knew exactly what was about to happen. He saw Nilia, stoic as ever, a look of grim determination on her face. The three of them together like that reminded him of the last time he was down low and they were high up, judging him for his sins, weighing his life in their hands.
How far we've come, only to end up in the exact same place. It's almost funny.
Hezzi was up there, too. Dorin didn't know how the kid actually made it here alive, but he did. The only ones missing were Renna and Danado, but that was to be expected.
Something completely unexpected, however, was Ander's horrorstruck face. Dorin supposed he should be more surprised to see the second son of Kadai standing up on the wall, alive and well, but after Banno's miraculous resurrection, it wouldn't surprise him if the Cora itself suddenly came alive. They just couldn't compare.
Actually, that wasn't entirely true. He could compare the two, and quite easily. They were almost exact opposites of each other. Seeing Banno back from the dead had felt like... like something was being taken from him, like that hulking black creature was sucking something vital out of the world with its very presence. Ander, however, was different. Seeing him again, after hoping against hope that he would burst through the gates and save them all, it filled Dorin with something. It wasn't much, but he could feel it, a spark of hope.
As scared as he was, as cold as he was, as tired and hurt and downright miserable as he was, he was glad they were alive. It meant that this, all of this, all the dark, bloody nights filled with screams and suffering, hadn't been for nothing.
It's too late for us, though, he thought. We're going to die here. Every last one of us.
Right now they were stuck in the eternal moment that preceded every conflict, no matter how big or small. It was the calm before the storm, the heartbeat before the drums fall silent, the single breath before the first strike. It was such a fragile magic, so easily broken. All it would take was for a single Wolf to take one step too far, or for one twitchy Fox to let loose an arrow too soon, and it would begin.
The end would come just as abruptly.
They were going to die here, every single last one of them, unless he could somehow convince that monster masquerading as a Wolf to stop this madness.
It was nothing. It was less than nothing. But it was all he had left.
It was hope.
"Aisa, help me get to Banno. I have to talk to him."
She didn't answer.
"Aisa?"
She was looking up at the wall, her eyes slowly moving from left to right, then from right to left again.
She was looking for her daughter.
"Aisa, damnit!"
She jerked against him. "W-What?"
"Help me!"
She looked up at the wall one last time, her ears lying flat against her head and her bottom lip trembling. After coming so far, Dorin still couldn't tell whether she was sad or grateful not to see her enka one last time. But, if they were all going to die here, lying in bloody piles with innumerable arrows growing out of their flesh, slowly being covered by layers of snow, it was probably better she not see any of it.
Without a word, Aisa helped him move closer toward the centre of the front line, where Banno was laughing into the wind.
"Banno!" he shouted, but the black Wolf just kept laughing and laughing. At least they were on the right side, and didn't have to worry about catching a glimpse of the demonic half of his -
Banno suddenly jerked his head around, revealing that shredded mouth and the single, bloodshot eye staring out from beneath a scorched brow, leaking puss and blood. "Yes?"
Dorin had to swallow back a burning glurt of vomit trying to work its way up his throat. It was that smile. That filthy, stuck smile. Even now, standing on the brink of destruction, he was smiling. Even when the final moment came and the last drops of life bled away, Dorin was sure this thing would still be smiling. Always smiling.
"We have to retreat!" he forced the words out, screaming against the wind.
Banno tilted his head. "Why do you say that?" Even the way it talked, like they were out in the sunshine, having a pleasant little conversation about butterflies, made Dorin want to cover his neck.
"We are at an extreme disadvantage here!" he shouted as loud as he could. He wanted as many of the others to hear him as possible. "We are walled in on three sides! They have the high ground and the numbers! If we don't fall back right now we're all going to die!"
Banno looked at him. The shredded corner of his mouth twitched, making his smile even wider than before.
"Did you hear me, Banno!?" Dorin yelled, bordering on hysterics now. "We! Are! Going! To! Die!"
"Tell me, Dorin," Banno leaned closer until Dorin could make out every bloodred vein in that solitary eye. "Is it possible for a dead thing to die, if it was never truly alive in the first place?"
Aisa tugged on his arm, wanting to move back, but Dorin held his ground. "Are you talking about me?" he asked. "Or you?"
Banno chuckled, and a thin line of blood oozed from between his teeth and pooled against his lower lip.
Just die, you sick bastard! Why won't you just die!?
"I said it before, Dorin. You didn't have to come, and you don't have to stay. If you want to leave, go right ahead. I won't stop you, and I'm pretty sure no one else will try, either."
Dorin glanced at the sea of Wolves at their backs. For every bloodthirsty mongrel licking its lips, there was a Wolf with tears frozen into the corners of their eyes. For every animal impatiently adjusting the grip on their spears and axes, there was a fearful child who didn't know what to do. For every monster growling in the blizzard, there was a mother, a father, a brother and a sister, Wolves looking at the walls and realizing that the hunger that had driven them into this corner simply wasn't worth it.
"You know I can't leave," Dorin said.
"Then shut your mouth and get out of my way."
Banno stepped forward and rudely knocked Dorin aside with his shoulder. If Aisa hadn't been there to steady him, he would have fallen flat on his back.
Banno approached the wall with Shekka tagging behind, one hand lightly touching her son's elbow to guide her across the treacherously uneven ground. Dorin wondered if he was even aware of her presence.
"What's going to happen to us, Dorin?" Aisa asked, her grip like steel. "What's going to happen?"
We're going to die. That's what's going to happen.
He shook his head. "I don't know, Aisa. I just don't know."
*
Mother was still mumbling her inane prayers to the Cora, but Banno didn't mind. She was being relatively quiet about it, so her words were just mixing with the wind and blowing away. Nothing mixing with nothing. Dead sounds inside dead air. And speaking of dead...
"Ander!" Banno shouted to the wall, delighted to see the stupid look of shock on his little brother's idiotic face. "It's been such a long time, hasn't it?"
Ander did not answer. Maybe he couldn't answer. He simply shook his head from side to side in quiet denial.
"No? Couldn't agree more!" Banno shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. "Why, it feels like it was only yesterday you gouged out my eye! Remember that, dear brother? Remember how you shoved an arrow right in there? Because I sure do!" He lifted his eyepatch, letting the freezing wind inside the hollow depths of his socket, swirling around and around, whistling a melancholy tune inside his skull.
Ander looked like he had seen a ghost, the poor guy. Any more and he might burst into tears.
Banno closed his eyepatch. There were a few snowflakes in there now. He could feel them against the back of his eyelid, slowly melting into mush, but that was okay. It was just water.
Just water.
"Remember the river, Ander? Remember how you left me to drown? If I recall correctly, you actually apologised while you did it! Now wasn't that funny?"
Huh. The bastard was just standing there, looking like he was about to throw up. This wouldn't be any fun if he didn't say anything.
"Hey, Ander! Can you hear me up there? The least you can do is say hello to your long lost brother! The brother you tried to murder in cold blood!"
Banno suddenly realised that it was far quieter than before. He looked down and saw Mother clinging to his arm, clinging so tightly, in fact, that her claws had punctured his elbow and were digging into his flesh. Her prayers had ceased, and her fangs were bared in a silent snarl. A thin rope of drool hung from her lips, swinging back and forth as the wind buffeted it every which way.
Banno smiled. "Mother, would you like to speak to your estranged dosa?"
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