The Ballad of Phillip Chapter 9
#9 of The Ballad of Phillip
The final chapter of The Ballad of Phillip.
Author's Note: Thanks to all my friends, watchers, and viewers. You guys rock! This is the final chapter of The Ballad of Phillip, but you may see these characters appear in other stories in the future.
The Ballad of Phillip
Chapter 9: 2006-Present
When the awards show ended, I got out of there as fast as I could, avoiding the press along the way. I knew they would want to ask me about Aaron, but I didn't know what I would tell them. Once I got inside my apartment I tried to process it all. Aaron still loved me? Why wasn't he over me? I was over him and I didn't want to be his boyfriend again. With all that said, I felt the need to reach out to him. I had to at least say "Thanks" for defending me. So I picked up the receiver and for the first time in over ten years I dialed his number. I was so nervous that I was shaking. What would he say? How was he feeling? I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a familiar, tired voice say, "hello?"
"It's me", I said.
"Phillip? Are you okay?", Aaron asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Tobias will get what he deserves when the press flames him for being a homophobe", I said.
"True", Aaron said.
"Thanks for defending me. You didn't have to do that", I said.
"But I did have to do that", Aaron said.
"Why?", I asked.
"Because I still love you. I know you'll never forgive me, that album of yours confirmed that, and I know we'll never get back together, but I wanted you to know I still care", Aaron said, he sounded like he was going to cry.
"Awww, that's very sweet of you. I'm not mad at you anymore either, I moved on", I said.
Then I heard him cry. Maybe I shouldn't have said "'I moved on'"?
"Don't cry", I said.
"Why? I miss you so much. I'm so sorry Phillip. I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said to you. I'm sorry I drove you away and made you hate me", Aaron said.
"As I said, I'm not mad at you anymore. So don't be sad. Everyone messes up, all we can do is just move on with our lives", I said.
"You were my last chance at love and I fucked up", Aaron said.
"You'll find someone else. I bet there's a ton of guys who would love to be with you", I said.
"Nope. I've been alone for the past ten years and I'm gonna stay that way", Aaron said.
"It's going to be okay. I healed and you will too", I said.
"I never healed these past ten years, how am I supposed to heal now?", Aaron asked.
"Remember this, I don't hate you. I forgive you for all of the things you said to me. I moved on and found happiness with someone else. It's time for you to do the same. Get out there Aaron, meet some new furs. Find the one you were truly meant to be with", I said.
"Thank you so much Phillip", Aaron said.
"You're welcome Aaron", I said.
We then hung up at the same time. In truth, I wasn't in a relationship with Dennis at the time and the differences in our lifestyles made me question whether or not he was the one for me. But I wanted Aaron to heal and move on. I could tell he wanted closure and I did my best to give it to him.
There was still one issue left to solve, what to do about Dennis? I loved him, but I was so afraid of us breaking up and ruining our friendship. I didn't want to break his heart like I did Aaron's. I couldn't come to a decision and for the next few months I avoided the issue until one day in July 2007 when I just couldn't keep it a secret anymore.
"Dennis, there's something I need to tell you", I said.
"What is it?", Dennis asked.
"For the past few years I've been having these feelings. I tried holding them back because I was afraid of how you would react. Dennis...I love you and I want you to be my boyfriend", I said.
Dennis didn't look surprised. Instead he smiled at me and said, "I love you too purple foxy, but I was afraid you would freak out like the last guy I was with."
"What happened with him?", I asked, concerned.
"We were friends with benefits, just like you and I. I fell in love with him over time, but when I confessed my feelings he ended our friendship and never wanted to speak to me again", Dennis said. My protective instincts kicked in and I gave him a tight hug and said, "I'm sorry he was so mean to you."
"It's okay, I moved on from him. To answer your question, yes I would love to be your boyfriend, Phillip", Dennis said.
"Thank you so much Dennis", I said, giving him a deep, passionate kiss.
"You're welcome purple foxy", Dennis said, kissing me back.
For the next three years my life had changed. I kept my apartment in Fox Hollow, but rented a new one near Dennis. I didn't write as much music, and I only went to Fox Hollow on occasion to visit my friends. In a way I felt retired, even though I wasn't even 40 yet. Those were peaceful years, buying groceries at the local store, taking long walks in the park with Dennis, it was fun. But there was a problem, one I didn't realize until one dreadful night in 2010. You see, when Dennis and I became boyfriends, he asked if we could have an open relationship, just like our old friends with benefits relationship. I had no desire to have sex with anyone other than him, but I knew he didn't feel the same way and at the time I was just so glad to have him be mine that I agreed to this open relationship situation. I did have one rule though, "don't tell me about the other guys." He agreed to it, but over the years the idea of him with other men began to bother me more and more. I considered breaking up, but I kept telling myself that he didn't deserve it. On August 12, 2010 I caught him with another man. I decided to pay Dennis a visit that night. Now usually I called ahead, just to make sure he wasn't busy, but I forgot that night. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I heard noises coming from the house, I stood there and listened.
"Oh yeah, fuck me harder Sven! Dominate my hole!", I heard Dennis cry out. At that moment my heart sank. Hearing him being pleasured by another man hurt. I hated it. I hated the fact that he was having sex with another man. I hated this whole open relationship thing. To actually witness him having sex with another man was too much. I had to break up with Dennis. I noticed the door wasn't locked so I opened it and walked into Dennis' living room and saw Dennis being plowed by a dark brown wolf who I guess was Sven. They stared at me with shocked looks, with Sven looking downright horrified.
"What are you doing here?", Dennis asked nervously.
"I can't do this anymore. We're breaking up", I said.
"You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!", Sven said. He pulled out of Dennis and ran out of the house carrying his clothes. Why he didn't bother to get dressed I'll never know. I never saw myself as scary. Dennis looked upset, his ears pinned down.
"Why?", he said.
"Because I don't want to share you with other furs anymore", I said.
"But I thought you were okay with having an open relationship?", Dennis asked.
"Well I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sick of this shit! Hearing and seeing you getting fucked...I should be the one doing that, not some guy you found from who knows where!", I said. I didn't want to get angry, but it just came over me.
Dennis grew even more upset, I could tell by the look on his face.
"I didn't know you were coming. I would've cancelled my meet up with Sven", Dennis said.
"Sorry I forgot to call first. I wasn't thinking. But I can't do this anymore, Dennis. It's one thing to know you are having sex with other guys, it's another to actually see it", I said.
"Please don't break up with me! I'll give up my open relationship if it means you get to stay", Dennis said, tears in his eyes.
"Dennis, I learned years ago that staying in a relationship where both people don't want the same thing is not good for either person. Aaron wanted me to be openly gay and I wanted to stay in the closet. When he didn't get what he wanted, he refused to show me affection as punishment. I stayed for much longer than I should have. You and I clearly have different ideas on sex. When I'm in a relationship with someone, I only want to have sex with that person, no one else. Casual sex was fine when we were just friends with benefits, but when I fell in love with you I lost interest in other guys. The only person I wanted to have sex with is you. I still love you Dennis, but I want you to be happy and I know you won't be happy with me. You'll resent me for taking away your freedom like Aaron resented me for not coming out. It's best we break up", I said.
"I don't want you to leave!", Dennis said, crying.
I held him close and said, "you'll find someone who's a better match than me. You deserve that. You're a great guy Dennis."
"Thanks, but I still don't want you to go", Dennis said.
"You're welcome, but it's best we break up. We aren't a good match for each other", I said.
"Can we at least be friends, just without the sex part?", he asked.
"Sure", I said.
And with that, my second relationship ended. I ended my lease in Selinsford and moved back to Fox Hollow full-time. I didn't think I was going to be too hurt this time. After all, I've already been through one breakup, surely I wouldn't be in as much pain as I was with Aaron. But I was in pain, a lot of it. I moped around a lot for the next couple of months, until I got sick of it. I decided a tour was necessary, so in October 2010 I set out for a small tour, covering just the Fox empire. Performing inspired me to write music again and in 2011 I released my first album in five years. My fans loved it, which made me feel good about myself. I spent the next couple of years touring and recording until I took a break in 2015. It didn't last long though, as I suddenly got isnpired to try my hand at writing a novel. I still haven't finished it yet and even the title has been difficult to come up with. Let's just say it involves heavy metal music and vampires. I stepped away from it and wrote my memoirs, which you have been reading. I quite enjoyed writing this.
I guess I'll end this with a quick update on some of the people you've seen. Eric is working on some grand concept album. He's been at it since 2014, and from what he told me it's going to be epic. Vlad and Ritchie decided to compete on The Amazing Race TV show. I wish them the best of luck. Bob currently composes music for video games. I never knew he was into gaming, but it turns out he loves RPGs so much that he got a job at the Royal Software House making music for them. Dennis and I are still friends and we talk over the phone on occasion, but we don't have sex. Tobias' career took a huge downturn after his outburst in 2006 and last I heard he was playing clubs out in the country somewhere. As for Aaron, well that's an interesting one. You see, in 2012 I ran into him at a record store while browsing the vinyl section. We started talking and we became friends, but not boyfriends again. We still talk sometimes and we even collaborated again musically. He's married now to a fox named Henry, one of Max III's cousins. I was quite surprised, even more so when I was invited to the wedding. Now here I am still single. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever try for a boyfriend again. I don't really feel the need anymore. I'm happy for those who have found love like Aaron, but for me maybe I'm just better off alone. Maybe my opinion on that will change, but that's where I'm at right now. Now I'm sure some of you are wondering "but Phillip what about sex, don't you still want that?" And to answer that question, well let's just say I have some royal friends who help me out with that. I think I'll end the book here. Thank you so much to all my fans, I love you guys. Peace out.