FSE

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I gazed at the poster pinned to the surface of a sea of clutter on a bulletin board next to our fridge. In the center on the glossy paper was a cropped photo of me in Amanda's sequin top and leather skirt, dancing on a stage in front of a crowd of people holding up dollar bills. I could still hear the music in my head, and my heart beat loudly in my chest.

"Pretty cool that you're the headliner, huh?" Amanda said, walking into the kitchen.

"Headliner? Hardly. It's just a cool shot."

"Well, you were definitely the hit of the show last year." She heaved an overstuffed duffle bag onto the rickety dining table. It creaked loudly, reminding us of its long history of second hand dumpster diving previous owners. It was part of a matching set that scantily decorated our livingroom. "You excited to do it again tonight?"

"Ehh..." I said, looking at the poster again trying not to let the fearful, self-conscious doubt flood over me. "I'm more nervous than excited."

"I think that's called anxious. Are you all packed? We're going to be late!"

I pointed to a overstuffed suitcase by the door. "I've been packed since yesterday."

"Well, good, let's go!" She hoisted the bag over her shoulder and grabbed my paw, barely giving me enough room to snatch the suitcase before we were out the door.

It was the second year of college, and a lot of things had changed. Amanda and I had become pretty good friends and moved into a small, cramped apartment just off campus at the start of the semester. I finally caved into the pressures and declared my major in liberal studies, with a minor in English just to add a little flavor to a resume that would probably be tossed out anyway. Classes had begun to pick up, and I had less free time to hang out with the guys, but I honestly don't think they even noticed I was gone much since they both had found girlfriends to occupy their time. Their new romantically driven existence had become rather boring in comparison to the wild life Amanda and I were leading. Amanda had taken up the treasurer position in the LGBT club, so by proxy, I was basically on the board too, and had fallen pretty hard into the inescapable trap of dramatic queer college politics. I knew all of the gossip of who was sleeping with who, and who was avoiding who and for what reason. It was a convenient replacement for the cable which we stopped paying the bill for a month into the move.

Overall, I felt like I had fallen into my place in the world, and I felt genuinely happy.

"I'm never going to get used to that thing," I said to Amanda, digging through my bag in a windowless room behind the theater.

"Why?" She shook her oversized, fake, glittery mane. "You don't think it's fabulous?"

"Well, apart from the fact that we're never getting the glitter out of the carpet, yes it is."

"You're one to talk, Mr. I'm-Going-To-Spill-An-Entire-Tub-Of-Glitter-On-The-Bathroom."

"Hey!" I said, pointing my finger at her. "That's MRS. tonight."

"Oh, you're married now?" she smirked.

"Yeah, don't you remember? At that party last semester. You, me, about twenty drunk witnesses?"

"Oh yeah..." She said, stroking her false mane. "I wondered why people we congratulating us the next morning. That wasn't legal, was it?"

"I'll lie for the tax credit if you will."

"Deal."

We both laughed.

"WHAT?" I heard from behind me, making me jump. "You're not ready yet!?"

"Calm down, Xexis," Amanda said to the fuming lizard in a bedazzled tuxedo coat.

"It's two hours to show, we still have to run through the entire rehearsal, and half of you don't even have makeup on!! How am I supposed to be calm?"

"I'm working on it!" I said, pulling a mirror and a shoe box of makeup out of my bag. "Don't get your tail in a twist!"

The lizard checked their phone, gasped, and ran out of the room.

"Sheesh," I said to Amanda while setting up my mirror.

"Ehh, don't take it personally. Xexis never was good with stress management."

"Then why run a drag show?"

"Because no one else was dumb enough to do it," Amanda said, chuckling.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had trimmed some of my cheek fur to look sleeker and more feminine. I dug around in my powder-covered shoe box, applying what I could to my face with the watchful eye of Amanda over my shoulder. I had been practicing a lot. I was no Michelangelo, but I was getting better each time. The small room quickly filled with other outlandishly dressed bodies, impatiently waiting for time in front of the one and only wall mirror. Even though I had done it before, the nerves inside of me were still building up. I could feel my heart beating in my chest as I heard the soft murmur of the crowd begin to fill the theater.

I twisted a tube of brand new red lipstick, and right as I touched it to my lips, a rabbit with a rainbow mohawk burst into the room, excitedly yelling.

"We have protesters!" He was bouncing around the room in a rainbow tutu. "We've never had protesters before! We finally made it!"

The nervous energy of the room quickly changed to tentative curiosity.

"What do we do?" a freshman in a fedora and suspenders asked.

"We go out and fuck with them! Duh!" The rabbit quickly hopped out of the room.

Amanda looked at me and smiled. "Hurry up! I don't want to miss anything!"

I quickly smeared the lipstick on as even as I could in a few seconds, and was out the door with the rest of the room.

"HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN. YOU WILL ROT IN HELL. FIND GODS LIGHT AND BE SAVED."

We could hear the megaphone from the lobby as people passed through the doors. I could just make out a few people holding signs outside as a circle of angry queers formed around them. I felt Amanda's paw grab mine as she pulled me out the door.

"THE PATH YOU ARE WALKING IS WRONG. YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS FOR ETERNITY. IT MAY FEEL GOOD NOW-"

"Hell yeah it does!" yelled Amanda.

"-BUT THE FLAMES OF HELL WONT BE AS NICE."

"We're already flaming!" yelled someone from the other side of the circle. It was now about four bodies deep in every direction.

The mountain goat with the megaphone was struggling to keep a sign the size of a bedsheet from flying away in the wind with his other hoof. On it was written a long, long list of ways to get into hell, and on the other side, in big, menacing letters, 'HOMOSEXUALITY IS SIN.'

"YOU CAN BE SAVED. YOU JUST NEED TO SEEK GODS HELP FOR YOUR PROBLEM."

"Go back to the sixteenth century where your ideas belong, you bigot!" Another voice shouted.

"HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN."

"You already said that!" Amanda heckled again.

"LET GODS LIGHT ENTER YOU."

"Hope he brought lube!" I yelled, feeling my heart race as the mountain goat gave me a dirty look.

"Jude!" Amanda said, looking at me in shock. "Very nice!" She nudged me.

"YOU CAN STILL BE SAVED!"

"OUT OF THE WAY!" Another voice crackled on a megaphone from across the quad. Xexis and the rainbow bunny were rushing towards the crowd carrying something between them. "QUEERS COMING THOUGH, MOVE!"

The lizard and the bunny rushed through the newly formed gap in the crowd and moved in front of the protesters, facing towards us. Xexis waved me and Amanda over, and handed us their half of the mass of fabric. The rabbit started unfolding it, and Amanda and I copied, the layers of color revealing themselves to be a giant rainbow flag. The four of us took a corner and stretched it out, the field of stripes expanding to the edge of the circle.

"STUDENTS AND COMMUNITY MEMBERS. THIS MAN IS SPEWING HATE!" Xexis shouted from the megaphone. "AND HATE IS NOT THE MESSAGE ONE SHOULD BE SHOUTING. INSTEAD, LET US BE LOUD WITH LOVE!! PLEASE HELP US HOLD THIS FLAG TO SEND THE MESSAGE OF LOVE LOUD AND CLEAR!"

The crowd quickly rushed around the massive flag, paws, hooves, claws and everything else quickly grabbed the edges and held it up high.

"LOVE IS LOUDER THAN HATE! LOVE IS LOUDER THAN HATE! LOVE IS LOUDER THAN HATE!"

The crowd yelled with Xexis as the flag bounced in the wind. It was such a noise that it did indeed drown out the single megaphone behind us. The flag pulled tight in my paws, and the sense of love and empowerment flowed through me. I saw a few camera flashes off in the distance. We shouted until our throats were sore, and we shouted some more as the sky turned to night above out heads,

I could occasionally hear a word or two of the preacher between chants, but it was clear who was getting the most attention. I gust of wind rustled my head fur and pulled the flag from my paw. I quickly reached out and grabbed it again, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw something very large flying over. A flock of painted letters soared above our heads before crashing into a pile of rubble on the other side of the flag. I turned and saw the empty hooves of the flabbergasted goat. Realizing what had just happened, the entire crowd cheered and laughed, and chanted louder, until the goat yelled, running to his crumpled sign and fuming off with his bewildered followers moving quickly behind him. This was met with even louder cheering.

"LOVE ALWAYS WINS! NOW I PERSONALLY INVITE ALL OF YOU TO COME INSIDE AND CELEBRATE OUR VICTORY WITH A DRAG SHOW!"

The excited crowd moved into the building, while the rest of us folded up the flag as best we could.

"Feel better?" Amanda asked Xexis as they flung the flag clump over their shoulder.

"Much. Nothing like a protest to calm me down."

"Where did you get the flag?" I asked.

"Oh, it's mine. Doesn't everyone have one of these?" Xexis shifted the flag and peeked at their phone. "SHIT! We were supposed to start fifteen minutes ago. GET INTO THE DRESSING ROOM NOW!!! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!"

We all scampered into the building, Xexis flying into the theater while the rest of us made out way to the green room.

"SORRY FOLKS," Xexis yelled on the megaphone as they ran down the aisle, balancing the flag on their shoulder still. "SMALL DISTRACTION OUTSIDE, THE SHOW WILL START IN A FEW MINUTES. PLAY THE INTRO MUSIC!"

A loud dramatic instrumental tune began playing in the theater as we reached the dressing room.

"That was fun," I said to Amanda as I checked to see if my makeup was still looking good.

"That was your first protest, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, how could you tell?" I looked up at her.

"I can usually tell. Nervous energy you virgins give off."

"Right, because you're the expert at virgins," I teased.

"I've got more under my belt than you do!" She fluffed out her mane.

I laughed, and then thought about it. I had only slept with a few people, and they all had been virgins. Well, except for that guy at the party. But that didn't count. And that big old deer guy when I was 17. I thought about Darrick.

"Jude? You ok?"

I realized I had been staring into the mirror. "Yeah. Just... remembered some homework I have to do this weekend."

"So, do you want to go?"

"To what?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "The gay rights demonstration at the state capitol next week."

"Yeah, sure!"

"Great! I'll see if anyone else wants to go and maybe we can car pool. We will turn you into a real protester in no time!"

I looked back in the mirror. The reflection suddenly seemed very strange to me. I'd changed so much since the days of high school. The eyes covered in colorful powdered looking back at me didn't seem like my own. How did I go from hiding Darrick from everyone to dressing in drag for a crowd? I applied another layer of fresh lipstick. I wondered where he was; what he was doing with his life. I wondered if he ever thought of me...

"Show time!"