Ander - Part 6: Subchapter 166
166
The door to the mill stood wide open, and as the wind rushed by, it flowed over the darkness inside and produced a low and constant moan, a hollow mouth with no need to stop for breath - a deep, black maw that reeked of his brother's putrefaction.
Ander held a knife in one hand and a lantern in the other. It was just a tiny little beeswax candle trapped inside a cage of glass. It felt small and awkward inside his hand, and its feeble glow didn't even reach inside the mill from here, but it was better than nothing.
Ander ducked his head and stepped inside, holding the lantern out in front of him like a shield.
For a moment all was quiet save for the howling wind at his back, but then a muffled cry came drifting out of the shadows, a desperate cry steeped in misery.
"Kiana? Is that you?"
The sounds of struggle echoed throughout the mill, distorted into a dampened, ghostly scream. Or perhaps a warning.
Ander raised the knife and took a quick step back, expecting his brother to come charging out of the darkness like a demon, but he was met with nothing more than the low sound of Banno's voice, strangely guttural, as if he were speaking through a mouthful of mud.
"Ander! So good to see you again, little brother! But what are you doing all the way over there? Come on out of the cold, you silly thing!"
Ander held up the lantern, infuriated by how small its circle of light was. Motes of dust and powdered grain were floating through the air like specks of gold, millions upon millions, and beyond them were the tools and machinery that had so fascinated him by daylight, but were now, by night's shadow, transfigured into half-formed monstrosities.
These were no brightly polished wooden gears and cogs and wheels. These were no sacks of flour waiting to be loaded. These were no tools hanging from the walls. The darkness had changed them, warped them into something they were not. Rounded shapes with short, stubby teeth. Fat shadows squatting against the walls. Limp, lifeless forms crumpled into corners like discarded corpses. Sharp blades and curved claws, wicked talons and gnashing jaws. Harsh angles. Empty space that might not be empty at all.
Ander went deeper into the mill, moving very slowly and very carefully, knife at the ready, and the lantern moved with him, encapsulating him in a small circle of light, making the shadows shift and slide over the angled walls.
In the centre of the room was the grinding stone, slotted neatly in its circular groove like a giant coin balanced on its side, waiting patiently for the seasons to change and the grains to flow once again.
"Kiana! Talk to me!"
The moans came again, clearer this time. Somewhere up high.
Ander held the lantern up above his head. He remembered from the last time he was here that the mill had a second level, but it wasn't like the second storey of a house. It was more like a wide ring halfway up the building, with a large hole through the centre to make room for the gears and shafts that connect the blades to the grind stone below. From down here the lantern clearly illuminated the bottom of this ring, but beyond that all it did was throw up an even wider ring of shadow, shaking slightly because of the tremble in his hand. The staircase leading up to this ring was on the other side of the room, hugging the curvature of the wall in a gentle quarter turn. It was a bottle-neck if ever he saw one, a narrow point of entry where he would have almost no way to defend himself. And if Banno was waiting for him up there...
"I'm coming, Kiana! Just hold on! I'm coming!"
That deep, guttural chuckling again, followed by a rather disturbing plopping sound, as if something large and wet suddenly hit the floor.
"Kiana! What's happening?" Ander had a crazy urge to just make mad dash for the stairs. But could he really afford to take such a chance when Kiana's life might be at stake? Could he afford not to?
"Oh, come now, Ander, is all of that really necessary?" Banno stepped up to the edge of the ring, looming out of the darkness, and the effect it made when he looked down at his little brother was so startling it almost caused him to let go of the lantern.
"Banno? What...?"
Thanks to the low angle of illumination, he was still shrouded in shadow from the neck down, making it look like his head was floating in mid-air. The lantern reflected off his single eye as a tiny white pinprick in a black ocean, but that wasn't the worst. There were long ropes of vomit hanging from his lips, red and chunky, penduluming back and forth. His fur was caked with it.
That explains the noise I heard... Ander thought, feeling like he was on the verge of vomiting himself.
The smell wafting off of him was like the offal pit back home, where they would dump all the unappetizing bits of their kills, like the gallbladder and the hooves and sometimes entire carcasses that had been deemed too sick and parasite-ridden for consumption. During the summer, when the sun shone high, that place used to boil with maggots and flies, and the smell coming off of Banno right now was exactly like that.
The smell of a dead thing, decaying in the sun.
But the worst part, the absolute worst part, worse than the innumerable gashes, worse than the puss-weeping sores, worse than the broken arrows sticking out of his back, worse than the gaping hole where his eye used to be, worse than all of those things put together, was the fact that Banno seemed to be unaware of any of it. He was smiling. He was happy. No, more than that. He was elated.
"Ander!" he chirped, smiling from ear to ear, almost literally. The left side of his mouth really did almost reach all the way to his ear now, and was constantly leaking blood down the side of his face, making the ropes of vomit grow heavier and heavier until they finally broke free and dripped down to the floor below. "Something seems different. Let me get a look at you!" He bent forward and tilted his head this way and that. "Ooooh! I like what you've done with your face! Very dapper. No, wait! Don't tell me! Let me guess! Um..." His tongue snaked out of his mouth and ran across his teeth. "Did Hezzi do it? Did he take an arrow and jam it into your skull, like you did to me? Huh? Did he? Oh, I hope he did. That would be perfect."
"Mother did it."
"Ooh!" Banno snapped his fingers. "So close!" His remaining eye suddenly locked on Ander's, and his jokey demeanour vanished. "It's hard, isn't it? Losing a part of yourself like that? It was always there, and you just took it for granted. Being able to see wide. But all it takes is one little poke, and suddenly your world becomes much, much narrower, because you're slightly less than you were before. Isn't that right, Ander? How does it feel, going through the same thing I went through, hmm?"
"I don't give a damn about my eye," Ander said, gripping the knife so hard the handle was beginning to dig into his palm. "What I care about is Kiana."
Banno waved it off. "Yes, yes, you've come for your precious eggshell, I know, but! Do you know what's inside that eggshell? Do you have any idea what swims inside her delicious yolk?"
Ander tried to keep his face still, but something must have shown, because Banno burst out laughing. "Aaah! So you do know! Excellent, excellent, that should make this hurt all the more!"
"What are you -"
Banno stepped back and his disembodied head disappeared from the edge of the ring. A moment later, a terrible slap filled the air, followed by a muffed, yet bloodcurdling scream.
"Kiana!"
The slap came again, and now Kiana was crying. Her sobs permeated the mill just like the dust floating through the shine of his lantern. They were all around him, bouncing off the walls, echoing back and forth.
"Damn you! Leave her alone!" Ander couldn't take it anymore. He threw caution to the wind and sprinted for the stairs, dashing up the curve two steps at a time, the lantern swinging from his hand and making all the shadows of this place whip back and forth in a frenzy of motion.
He reached the top, and there they were, all three of them. A little vixen girl, with fur the colour of sunflowers, Banno, his hand raised high, and Kiana...
She was crying blood.
An image flashed through Ander's mind. It was the stag they had killed on the day this all started, lying on a carpet of leaves, kicking feebly. Banno was biting into its neck, savouring the taste of its death, and the stag knew it. It knew it was dying. It knew there was no escape. It knew this creature was enjoying its suffering. It knew it would leave this world all alone. But the one thing it did not know was why. Why did it have to go through all this? Why did it have to feel so much pain? Why did it have to be so afraid?
Ander could see himself reflected back inside those shiny black orbs, just standing there, completely useless, unable to do anything except bottle up his anger and frustration, just swallow it down because that would be the easiest, to just go on living one day at a time, pretending not to notice, to keep on swallowing it down and down until it either choked him or poisoned him.
Because that would be easier. Except...
Except for the blood welling around the stag's eye, a red crescent growing thicker and thicker until it grew too heavy. It overflowed and dripped down to the ground, where it was quickly sucked up by the dry, thirsty earth, all while Banno moaned in pleasure, crushing the animal's windpipe between his jaws, squeezing out every last drop of life it had left.
The stag disappeared in a flash of white and suddenly he was back in the village centre, surrounded on all sides by his people, screaming and jeering and cheering and cursing and stamping their feet and punching the air and laughing and pushing and shoving and it was all too much, it was driving him crazy, because what he was really surrounded by was not a tribe of Wolves, but crumbs of flesh and bone that, together, would form a being of pure insanity. And in the middle of this throng, beneath the shadow of their mountain god, was a rusty old cage, and inside this cage was the vixen he would grow to love, cowering in the farthest corner with her legs drawn up to her chest and her face turned away from the horror closing in on all sides.
He wanted to call out to her, to tell her that it would be all right, that he would save her, take her away from this place, that they would be happy together, that they would soon start a family together, but he had no voice in this world, no presence at all. Just like with the stag, he was completely and utterly useless.
That's when the stones began to fly. They sailed overhead in deadly arcs, dozens, then hundreds of them. Many bounced off the bars with a hollow clang, but many others made it through. She tried to cover up her head, but it was no use. They struck her legs, her arms, her head, colliding with sickening thuds. Spots of blood bloomed all over her body like flowers out of hell, and when she finally lowered her arms, Ander saw that she was crying blood, too. There were red streaks beneath her eyes, flowing down the sides of her muzzle, dripping all over her dress. She was so afraid.
Their eyes met, but Ander saw no recognition in them, only fear. She was like a tiny bird with a broken wing, gasping for air inside his cupped hands, too terrified to keep on living. As the blood flowed down her face, faster and faster, turning her fur a deep shade of crimson, her lips began to move, to sound out a single word meant only for him, and that word was...
Why?
And just like that, Ander was back in the real world, standing at the top of the stairs, watching Banno with his hand raised in the air. He swung it in a wide arc and connected with Kiana's face for a third time. The blow rocked her to the side, sending fresh droplets of blood to patter onto the hardwood floor in a crimson shower. She cried out in pain, bright lines of red, exposed flesh standing out on her cheeks like bars of forged iron, glowing in the dark.
This was no illusion. This was no phantom of the past. This was no trick of the light. This was no simple discolouration of her fur.
Kiana was crying blood.
Banno looked at him, his tongue hanging from his mouth, dripping blood and vomit. "Did that hurt, brother?"
Ander dropped the lantern and charged, screaming, the knife raised high. His shadow stretched out before him, growing tall, taller, tallest, until it engulfed everything in his way, even Banno. He stood with his arms spread wide, laughing in the dark.
"Yes! Come on!"
Ander collided with him head-on, leading with the knife, and they both crashed to the floor.
"Don't touch her!" Ander screamed. "Don't you ever touch her again!"
The blade had gone right through Banno's left hand and the tip, now dripping crimson, was jittering just a finger's length from his face. Ander bore down on the haft with all his weight and the blade slowly began to creep closer, slicing through the meat of his hand, forcing the cut ever wider.
Banno's lips peeled back and he began to laugh. Blood bubbled from between his teeth like an underground spring, turning the laugh into more of a gurgle. The bubbles burst and leaked from the corners of his mouth. "Ander, what's gotten into you? You've changed so much!"
Ander didn't listen. He knew Banno loved to talk, liked to get inside his head, but he wouldn't let it happen this time. He had the advantage. He would press it and press it until...
Until it was over.
Ander pressed down on the knife with both hands, pushing it closer. The tip of the blade touched Banno's nose and slowly began to sink inside, cleaving into the cartilage. The muscles in Ander's arms were beginning to burn and ache, but he didn't care. He would push this piece of metal through Banno's head one fingerbreadth at a time, if that was what it took.
"Oh, Ander..." Banno said. "I was hoping it would be like this." He opened his mouth, tearing a long, thin cut through his nose, and licked his own blood off the blade, flaying his tongue right down the middle.
"You _need_to die..." Ander said, pressing down on the blade as hard as he could.
"No, Ander. You need to wake up."
It happened so fast. One moment Ander was still pushing the knife down, right into Banno's open mouth, and the next the handle was coming right at his face. It struck him in the jaw, making a sound inside his head like he was chewing on rocks, and a brilliant flash of pain shot through his skull. He fell onto his back with a jarring thud, his cheek a throbbing ball of agony.
Banno slowly got to his feet, a giant monster of shadows inside the feeble glow of the lantern. He looked at the knife sticking through his hand and nodded, as if in approval. "You've come a long way, Ander. For the longest time I thought you were just a lost cause, but I guess my words must have gotten through to you, in the end. 'Not so different, after all.' My, how you've grown..."
Ander sat up. There was something wrong with his mouth, something hard and sharp rolling over his tongue. He turned his face away and spat a bloody fang down to the first level, where it clattered into the dark.
He got up, wiped his mouth, and said: "I have grown, Banno. But not because of you."
"Ha!" He ripped the knife out of his hand in a shower of blood and casually tossed it over his shoulder like it was nothing more than an annoying thorn. "What you think doesn't matter, only what you feel, and believe me, Ander, I am going to make you feel a lot."
He came at a fast walk, grinning that permanent grin, and Ander punched him through the face hard enough to cut his own knuckles on the hard edges of Banno's teeth. His head wrenched a quarter turn and immediately whipped right back, as if the blow had never landed.
Ander instinctively raised his arms to protect himself from the backlash, but in the face of such raw, brute strength, it didn't really mean anything.
Banno struck, moving so quickly his arm was little more than a blur in the shadows, and an explosion of pain ripped through Ander's arm. He staggered backwards, but kept his guard up, and a second blow landed right after the first one, smashing into his forearm, pushing him farther and farther back.
"What's the matter, Ander? Can't fight me without a weapon, is that it?" A body blow snuck through Ander's guard and hit him high in the stomach, nearly lifting him right off his feet. He gasped for air and stumbled against the wall, gasping for breath and gritting his teeth.
"Come on, little brother! Don't be so impersonal! If you want to hit me, hit me! Make it worthwhile! You know what will happen if you can't stop me, right? I'll give your girl the deepest kiss of her life, right on her throat!"
"Aargh!" Ander pushed off the wall and punched Banno in the face, aiming for the cut in his nose. His fist connected with a hollow crunch and blood sprayed from his nostrils in a double jet.
Banno threw his head back and laughed, blood pouring down into his open mouth. "That's more like it! Hit me again! As hard as you can!"
Ander swung his fists, punching his older brother again and again, striking him beneath the jaw, on the cheek, above his brow, screaming like a lunatic until he finally took a step back, completely exhausted. His breath plumed out in front of his nose in quick bursts of mist, illuminated by the lantern at his back. He raised his fist for one more blow, but a bright, searing pain shot through his hand the moment he tried to curl his fingers in. It felt like someone had slotted red hot bars of iron between the bones.
"Not bad, brother." Banno reached up and slowly wiggled his jaw back and forth, perhaps to estimate the amount of damage he had sustained. "You could have been a lot better if you'd just let me teach you how to throw a real punch, but noooo... 'I do not intend to fight. I do not intend to end my disputes with violence. I do not intend to lower myself to your level.' Remember that? Always acting so superior, always using high words to try and explain to yourself that it was actually better to be weak and pitiful, but now you know better, don't you? Now you understand it was all just an excuse to try and make yourself feel better." Banno took a step closer, and the raw bone jutting out of his stump made a sickening clunk against the wood. "Well, look at you now, Ander! You killed me, you killed Garten, but that wasn't enough for you, was it? You got just a tiny little taste, a little drop of blood on your tongue, the flavour of death in your mouth, and decided you had to get more. You went on a killing spree even I could never match. You killed hundreds of your own people, Ander! Hundreds!"
"I didn't do it because I wanted to, Banno!" Ander screamed, his fists shaking at his sides. "I did it because I had to!"
"You did it because you loved the taste! Look at you! Even now, you can barely hold yourself back. I'm almost... Hell, I'll say it. I'm proud of you, Ander."
Ander lashed out, raking his claws over Banno's face, cleaving through the flesh and ripping away loose shreds of skin and fur. He could feel the blood and hair beneath his claws, unbearably hot.
Banno looked at him, his red eye shining in the dark. "There you are... There's the animal inside..."
Ander didn't see it happen, but he certainly felt it; a strong hand slamming into his throat and sinewy fingers curling around his neck. It all happened so fast he barely had enough time to let out a strangled yell before Banno slammed his head against the wall, making the whole world flash red before his eyes.
"What now, Ander? Huh? What now!?"
Ander pulled back his fist as far as the wall would allow, but Banno was faster. His blow struck with a hollow crack, and then it was as if everything just... went away, as if that crack hadn't been his own head, but reality itself. He regained his senses in time to see Banno rear back for a second blow, screaming and laughing, his sliced up tongue spraying blood into his face.
Ander reached up to pry Banno's fingers loose, but they were like iron hooks digging into his flesh, and then the second blow came, rocking his head back against the wall.
This time the crack in reality seemed to last much longer. He could hear a muffled sound throbbing in his ears, perhaps his own blood, but beneath that there was something else. It sounded like a scream.
Kiana?
This time he didn't even come close to seeing the blow. It was just there, a red explosion that felt like it was coming from inside his own face rather than Banno's fist. It crashed through his head like a wave, breaking as it went.
And then, seemingly before the previous one was even over, another blow connected with his face, and now everything was wet. He could feel the wetness dripping down his face.
More screams. Muffled. Dampened. Barely there.
Ander opened his eye and immediately suffered another blow that wrenched his face all the way to the side. Banno was hitting the same spot over and over and his face was beginning to feel like an old water skin stuffed with crushed pebbles.
"Ha! Don't pass out too quickly, Ander! I want you to watch! I want you to see everything I do to your little Foxy!"
Ander grabbed hold of Banno's face and pushed, forcing it up and away. Touching Banno like this was beyond disgusting. His whole face was just a warm, tangled mess of blood, puss and fur by this point, but he kept going, pushing and pushing until enough space opened up between them for what would amount to a move of desperation.
"I won't let you touch her!" Ander kicked out, striking Banno right in the gut. He staggered back, carried more by the momentum of the kick than any thoughts of self-preservation, and Ander knew he might never get a chance like this again.
He lowered his head and put on a desperate burst of speed, launching himself directly into a suicide tackle that sent the both of them crashing through the flimsy railing at the edge of the ring.
How long did they spend in the air, grabbing and tearing at each other? The distance from the second level to the first wasn't all that great, so it couldn't have been more than a second, but to Ander it felt much longer. He could feel the air rippling his clothes, and a long, drawn out scream that might have been Kiana or just the wind outside. Sounds had taken on a hollow, muffled quality on his left side, like his ear had been filled with water, so he couldn't be sure.
They crashed to the floor with an impact that sent a shockwave of pain racing through his bones, making it feel like his knees were about to burst right out of his legs. He cried out and that's when he felt something sharp swipe across his chin, tearing it wide open.
Even through Banno had taken the brunt of the fall, it didn't seem to have fazed him in the slightest. He was squirming and writhing beneath Ander's body, trying to buck him off, and it was taking all of Ander's concentration just to maintain this position.
"Damn you!" Ander groped in the dark and locked his fingers around what he hoped was Banno's neck, but because the lantern was still up on the second level, its light only illuminated the upper half of the mill. This entire lower level was pitch black, and it felt like he had just grabbed hold of the darkness itself, like it was alive and slithering beneath his touch.
A blast of hot air washed over his arm. That was the only warning he got before Banno's teeth snapped shut. The pain was immense. It felt like the tips of his fangs were boring all the way down into his bones, crushing his arm from both sides.
Ander screamed and tried desperately to pull himself free, but Banno's mouth was just like those biters of iron Wardo had dreamed up, locked in place.
Banno punched him in the jaw, and on blind, animalistic reflex Ander bit down on his forearm, driving his teeth into Banno's flesh just as deeply as Banno's were driving into his. He was biting so hard that the muscles were starting to ache and throb in his temples.
Banno growled and began to shake his head from side to side, ripping and tearing, and Ander followed suit, pulling his head back and twisting his neck, pulling at Banno's flesh, opening the wounds, sending torrents of diseased blood washing into his mouth. It tasted of iron and rotting meat, covered in dead maggots and flies.
Any semblance of order this fight once had soon deteriorated after that. They ripped and tore at each other's bodies, raking their claws over whatever bits of exposed flesh they could find, snarling like wild animals in the dark.
Banno ripped his arm free and clawed Ander right across the chest. Lines of blood slowly began to trickle down to his stomach, shockingly warm.
Ander answered the attack by diving face-first into the writhing mass of shadows beneath him and clamping down on the first thing his muzzle came into contact with. Ander had no idea what it was, but his mouth fit around it nicely. He could feel Banno's muscles working against his teeth, relaxing and contracting as he fought to gain the upper hand.
Ander bit down as hard as he could, hating the prickly feeling of Banno's fur against his tongue, but biting anyway. He shook his head from side to side, sawing through the meat, hoping to rip whatever he had gotten hold of loose in one bloody chunk.
Banno's weight suddenly shifted and the point of balance whipped around. The next thing Ander knew, he was lying flat on his back with a monster on top of him, biting and gnashing its teeth.
Ander could see the pointed ceiling of the mill now, and Kiana's shadow was thrown across the wall at a very steep angle, making her look like she had suffered an unspeakable torture that had left her body battered and broken.
He wanted to call out to her, tell her he was... well, not fine, but alive. He wanted to let her know that he was fighting for her, that he would get her out of this, that this night was bound to end and that they would have their happiness together.
But he couldn't. He dared not relinquish the grip of his teeth, so he kept on biting, pushing deeper and deeper into his brother's flesh. His right arm was still lodged in Banno's mouth, but his left was free, and he raked it across Banno's back, again and again.
Banno tried to punch him in the ribs, but they were locked so close together it was difficult for either of them to get any decent strikes in. Realizing this, Banno opened his mouth and immediately slammed it shut again, biting down on Ander's forearm slightly higher up, opening a whole new set of puncture wounds, gushing blood. He did it again, biting down and whipping his head from side to side, worrying the bone as if he intended to chew right through it, snarling and growling in the dark.
Ander scraped his claws across Banno's back and his fingers suddenly caught on something hard and stiff. He grabbed it and wrenched it back and forth, pulling as hard as he could until it burst out with a wet, squelching sound. He could tell just by the feel of it that he had grabbed an arrow.
"Die!" Ander screamed through a mouthful of Banno's meat and plunged it back in. Stabbing from this downed position was woefully inefficient, but it must have done something, because Banno suddenly reared back so hard that he actually ripped himself free of Ander's teeth, leaving shreds of skin and fur in his mouth.
Ander spat, desperate to get it out before he could swallow any of it, but he could still feel the individual hairs clinging to his teeth and gums, coated in blood.
"Really, Ander!?" Banno screamed. "You're gonna resort to that trick again!?"
Ander started to rise, and then...
Then everything changed.
On some level he knew Banno must have punched him, and punched him hard, but it was down on a lower level, a bottom level. On the surface it was just a tremendous amount of pain starting in his nose and traveling all the way through his muzzle, seemingly all the way into his brain. After that came the sound of his nose breaking. It was a sound he had heard once before, but not quite like this. The previous time had been a quick, hard crack, like a wet piece of kindling being snapped over a knee, but this was more of a crunch, a whole bundle of twigs instead of just one. The pain blocked out everything; all sounds, all sights, even all smells. Blood poured from his nose and into his mouth, open probably because he was screaming, even though he couldn't really hear it.
Maybe he would have been able to recover. Maybe he would have been able to keep on fighting. But Banno wasn't playing around anymore.
He grabbed Ander by his broken muzzle, squeezing hard, grinding the pieces of broken bone and cartilage together, and then slammed him down. At the moment of impact, just as the back of Ander's head bounced off the hardwood floor, he had a clear view of what was happening right above him. Well, clear in a sense. He couldn't make out his brother or any of his features, but the ceiling above was bathed in a very pale, dusty glow, providing a perfect backdrop for Banno's silhouette. He was massive, far larger than Ander remembered, a hulking mass of shadows, and he was holding something in his hand, something long and thin and pointed.
"You want to know what this feels like, huh!?" the shadow roared mere inches from his face. Ander did not understand what it was asking, only that it was very angry.
He reached up, whether to fight it off or pull himself up he did not know. He felt dizzy, like he was about to pass out. The whole room seemed to be spinning...
Yes, I'm in the mill. That's why...
"I've been waiting a long time for this, Ander! Let's see how you like it!"
Ander saw the shadow raise the thin, black line above his head, saw a crimson set of teeth appear out of the black, a hideous smile drenched in blood, his blood, and Ander knew he had to fight back, he had to break free somehow. He strained against Banno's grip, first trying to sit up, then just trying to turn his face away, but it was no use. Banno was too strong, and the slightest movement sent a web of pain tearing through his face like the veins of a leaf, spreading out far and wide, boring through muscle and bone.
Banno roared. His voice echoed through the mill, bouncing off the walls, overlapping with itself, drowning out the howling wind and Kiana's desperate, terrified screams. He swung the thin, black line down in a deadly arc and Ander watched it come closer and closer until, just like Banno's voice, it drowned out everything.
There came a terrible popping sound, like a grape being crushed between a strong pair of fingers, and after that all Ander saw was red.
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