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Chapter 20 :

The Cost of Family

Megan had skipped the evening shift in the barn. She spent the rest of the day with Cassidy and Millie in her bedroom. They all cried a lot, but there was laughter too. Sadness over the time they'd lost, and joy from finally being together again.

It was almost eight in the evening before she heard Clairibelle return, and Megan wandered out to meet her. She stopped just beyond the hallway, and CB watched as she struggled for something to say. Anything at all would have been fine, but all she could manage was to give up and rush forward into the waiting arms of the woman she loved. Clairibelle caught her tight, holding her up even as she started lightly crying again. It wasn't a long cry, and soon she pulled back away again with a sigh.

"Thank you, Clairibelle." She said quietly, rubbing her eyes to try and clear them.

She nodded, staying silent for a moment. Megan expected she would have a lot of questions, but she didn't expect the only one CB wanted to ask.

"You and Cassidy never talk about her father, but you don't talk about him very loudly." Clairibelle tilted her head a bit, "This is why, isn't it? Because of what he did to her?"

Megan nodded, "Marcus was a mistake. He was manipulative, overbearing and jealous. He hated that I got Cassidy a puppy, but honestly... I think he just hated that I did it without his approval."

"Is he still around?" CB asked.

"No. He died a few years ago. Something medical, but I'm not familiar with what it was and I don't really care." She sighed again, "I hated him so much, and that's fine... But it was nothing compared to what he did to Cassidy. No little girl should have to hate her father the way she did."

Clairibelle put a hand on Megan's arm, which she found comforted her quite a bit.

"She's always had a hard time making friends, but she and Millie were inseparable. They were sisters." She looked up at Clairibelle, the look on her face almost bewildered, "Even after all this time I just can't figure out why he would do that to them. To both of them."

"I wish I could answer that for you, honey." CB offered her a concerned smile, "But I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. Letting go of the past is difficult, I know that as well as anyone, but focusing on what to do next is the only thing that helps."

Megan nodded. The words were true enough, "Then what comes next?"

"I think dinner would be a great place to start." Clairibelle moved to put an arm around her, "Lets go see what we can sweet talk out of Muffin, hmm? You three have got to be famished."

"Yeah. Cassidy is hiding it pretty well, but I know she's starving again." Megan shook her head, leaning into the arm around her with a sigh, "You always know the right thing to say."

"Big problems don't always have big answers. Sometimes it's a lot of little ones instead." She smiled, and started them toward the door, "Lets go for a walk."

A few minutes later they entered the bunkhouse. Muffin was there in the kitchen busily prepping food as always. Jasmine was practically curled up in a large recliner nearby, reading a book. Had they been doing anything else it would have almost been a shock. The only other person there was Ranger, sitting in the chair Henry had made sturdy enough to support Sophie and looking more than a little uncomfortable. He had the massive cane they had fashioned for him across his lap, little more than the trunk of a sapling really. It had been weeks since he'd been shot, but the wound was healing slow from the lack of immediate treatment and the weight he had to put on it.

"Where is everyone?" Megan asked, peering around the room.

"Most of them are next door with the children." Jasmine looked up at them over the rims of the glasses she almost never wore unless she was reading. They didn't really fit right, but they made the reading easier, "We would be too, but..."

Muffin smiled brightly, "I'm almost done, Megan. Dinner for three, coming right up!"

"Hardest working woman on the farm." Megan couldn't help but smile back, "Thanks, Muffin. You're always right on top of it."

Jasmine snorted a little, though more out of amusement than annoyance, "Just wait until we get the new kitchen. I'll probably never see her again."

"Oh now shush." Muffin called back with a giggle, "There will always be time for cuddles. Don't you worry."

"Or maybe a little more than cuddles after the lights go out?" Claribelle moved across the room to lean on the counter, giving Muffin a little wink, "Like a couple weeks ago when you put your..."

"Clairibelle!" Jasmine practically fell out of her seat, hiding her face behind her book.

"You know she hears everything, Jazzie." Muffin giggled again, "You had to know she was listening."

"Well, yeah..." She was practically in a ball in the chair now, unable to hide her embarrassment, "But she doesn't need to say it!"

Megan felt a little of the awkwardness herself, being a bit new to the sort of relationship these other woman had with each other, "I always wondered about that. You two clearly love the hell out of each other, but it's not like you get much privacy."

"We really don't need much." Muffin was back to stirring a pot of something that smelled awful good, "What time we do have is usually more than enough for both of us. Just... Every once in a while it's nice to have a little hug and a rub under the covers for fun, you know?"

"Muffin!" Jasmine dropped her book to her lap, "Oh my... I don't need them to be picturing that!"

"Too late." Cairibelle laughed, leaning back off the counter.

Megan, despite her amusement at all of this, was more worried about the man sitting a ways off and minding his own. Everyone knew what he had been through, and that was not something she was about to dismiss.

"Ranger?" She said, stopping any other discussion, "We're not making you uncomfortable, are we?"

"What? No, I... I've seen and done things of that nature that you couldn't even imagine." He shifted in the chair as best he could, but it did nothing to hide his nervousness. "It's just... Annabelle is bringing her daughter over. I haven't met her yet."

"Oh ho!" Clairibelle called with a laugh, "You are in for a treat then."

He nodded back, regarding CB curiously now, "You're Clairibelle, right? She's told me about you."

Her smile faded, "Before or after you came here?"

"Both." He said, looking away with a sigh, "She's conflicted about it. She's been a bit vague, but I think you two have more in common than she wanted to admit."

There was a short silence, then CB spoke again, "I don't understand what you mean by that. I'd like to."

"Something to do with Mr. Hoyt, I gather." He looked back up at her, "How he was there to help the other girls after the change, but... Not really for you. I get the feeling something similar happened with her."

"Huh..." Jasmine spoke quietly, looking over the rims of her awkward glasses at nothing in particular, "That... Could make sense."

Muffin nodded, now portioning out various items into plastic bowls for transport, "I think you might be right, Jazzie. It might even explain the accent."

CB looked between them curiously. Listening to them talk was always like hearing half of a conversation. The rest was just intuitive for them, "What are you two goofballs talking about?"

"Annabelle was third, a couple months after Sophie." Jasmine set her book in her lap for now, "We know now Henry left the farm for a while. If that was around the time she finished changing..."

"And I can only imagine how overwhelmed Sophie and Elsie must have been." Muffin called, although a little too cheery for the conversation, "She would have had to learn a lot on her own, and that lovely southern drawl isn't something she picked up from anyone here."

"She's always been more independent than the rest of us. She learned to drive, mechanics, how to raise crops..." Jasmine said, sad enough that Muffin moved around to sit on the arm of the chair to slip an arm of her own around her, "If that's the reason, she must have been... Well..."

"As lonely as me." Clairibelle finished for them with a sigh, "We should stop talking about her."

"Clairibelle." Megan said softly, looking up at her, "It's alright..."

"No, we will." CB cut her off with a sad smile, "But I hear them coming. They're here."

Almost as if on cue the door opened. Annabelle stepping inside first, holding the door for her fairly cautious daughter. Morgan was still wearing her coveralls from that morning, though she had finally decided to put on shoes for the occasion.

Ranger just stared at the girl for a moment. She and her mother had slightly different black and white markings, but both darker on the right side than the left in a lopsided manner. Morgan had a thick braid of black hair down her back too, not quite as long yet as the one her mother sported, and both dressed ruggedly and somewhat boyish.

"I know you said she's a lot like you, Annabelle, but..." Ranger just shook his head, practically in disbelief, "She's the spitting image."

"Morgan. This is Ranger." Annabelle smiled, leading her daughter over to stand before the giant of a man. The girl seemed a lot less nervous than the adults, to her credit. She looked back at him curiously, as if not really sure what was expected of her.

"It's very nice to meet you, Morgan." Ranger said, fiddling with his crutch. He wasn't sure what else to do with his hands, "I hope we're going to be friends."

The girl just nodded, and continued to regard him like he was on display.

"Well go on, sugar." Her mother prompted, giving her a little nudge with her elbow, "Say somethin'."

There was a pause, but eventually the girl spoke, "Momma says I ain't supposed to ask you anythin' about bein' my daddy, but I don't know what else I wanna know."

"Morgan!" Annabelle knelt down beside her, a bit mortified, "We talked about this..."

"It's alright. She's just saying what she means to say, just like someone else I know." Ranger couldn't help but smile, and a rush of some lost emotion came over him that he hadn't felt in a long while. It felt nice, "The spitting image, Annabelle."

He leaned forward a bit, though not too far once he felt the pressure start the ache in his leg up again. No one in the room knew how to respond to the girl's statement, but all Ranger heard was a question. One which he'd spent countless nights wondering himself, "I'm going to do my best to figure out where I belong here, Morgan, but I don't know that I know anything about how to be a father."

"That's okay." The girl replied, giving him a little nod, "I don't reckon I really know how to have one."

The room got quiet, save for one muffled sob as tears sprang to Muffin's eyes. Sadness overcame the lot of them. Everyone that is but the girl and the big man she was trying to make sense of. Ranger felt something else. He felt like, out of everyone, the little girl in front of him understood how this situation felt for him. It wasn't about what was expected of him. It was about the fear of whether or not they were good enough to get it right.

"I guess we've got something in common." He said, smiling back at her in a way that made her smile as well, "How about we just take it one day at a time, and figure out what we are to each other as we go?"

"I can do that." Morgan said with a grin, "An 'asides which, I don't want my friends to get jealous. Better not to have a daddy all at once."

"That's very courteous of you." Ranger couldn't help himself. He liked this girl. He had feared the worst from this meeting, and somehow been given the best possible outcome.

"Alright, I think that's enough for today. You've got some studyin' to attend to, girl." Annabelle stood back up again, "We can have lunch together tomorrow, if you're both up for it."

"Okay, momma." The girl moved to the door, pausing once it was open to give the big horse that her mother loved one more smile, "Nice to meet you too, Mister Ranger. I like you."

He smiled back, "I like you to, Morgan."

And then she was gone.

Ranger felt like all the air he'd ever breathed escaped his chest in one huge sigh, "My god, Annabelle. I was so worried..."

"I wasn't." Annabelle moved to his side, leaning down to put an arm under his to start helping him to his feet. Once he was up, she started leading him back to the door too, "I'd never of asked you to come live here if I thought for even one heartbeat you two wouldn't get along."

It was the first time Megan had seen him move, and it was clear to her very quickly how difficult it still was for him. He didn't complain, though. She'd heard Henry and Penelope say that they rather liked this new addition to the farm, and after the last few minutes she could see how they meant it.

"Ranger..." She said it quietly, but there was something she had to know, "How bad was it? For Millie?"

"Millie?" He said, stopping to turn awkwardly toward her, "I don't know anyone by that name."

"Laika." She spat the word. "Her name is Millie, not Laika. She was... Stolen from my daughter and me."

"She... Never should have been there. It wasn't right." He looked her over carefully, still trying to get a read on the woman, "But she and I weren't so close as to be talking those sorts of things. You want to know that whole story, then you need to talk to Charlie."

"Why? Is he responsible in some way? Did he do things to her?" She took a step forward, getting a little angry.

"No ma'am. He doesn't work with ladies." He said, leaning his weight heavy on the crutch, "But he... He had a kind of kinship with her. He went out of his way look out for her, and Charlie... He's scary brilliant, and when he needs to be, just damn scary. He runs circles around Agnes, and she doesn't even see it."

Megan relaxed a little, but it didn't answer the question, "But how bad was it?"

"It would have been bad for anyone." He said, shaking his head sadly, letting himself be led away again.

"For her... It was hell."

Millie felt comfortable, truly comfortable, for the first time in years.

Curled up together on the bed just like they used to when Cassidy was still a little girl. Heads tucked against each other so close that they shared each other's breath. Each holding the other, their closest friend in the world. It had been so long, but it almost felt like yesterday.

Cassidy was asleep now, long since cried out. Millie had been for a while, but she was awake now and regarding the different scents and sounds around her. It was Megan's bed, and that smelled faintly of women and sex. Millie had met Clairibelle earlier, so she wasn't surprised by that. There was another smell that was demanding her attention though. One not from the room, but from the girl. One that made her happy.

After a while there was a gentle knock, and the door opened. She lifted her head a bit, expecting to see Megan return... Then practically scrambled backward off the bed in surprise as a giant bull of a man timidly stepped inside instead.

The act woke Cassidy, who quickly pieced together the issue.

"It's alright, Millie! It's okay!" She rose out of the bed, moving to Eli's side to take his hand in hers, "This is Eli. He's my... My boyfriend."

Millie peered up over the side of the bed at them. Surprise faded into curiosity as she crawled back up to kneel on the mattress, and after a few long moments looking back and forth between them, she couldn't help herself. Her backside started to wiggle. It answered the question of who was responsible for that other scent, but it raised several others.

"You mean... He's the father?"

Cassidy's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "How did you know I was..."

"I can smell it." Millie cut her off, "But, I thought that wasn't possible?"

"So did we." Eli spoke quietly, reaching his free hand up to rub his neck nervously, "We're all a little scared about it, but... Hopeful too."

"He's the sweetest, kindest, most gentle man I've ever met." Cassidy leaned against him, smiling as she let her eyes close, "I love him, Millie."

Almost instantly a smile came to her face, and she started wagging her missing tail even harder. It said more than any words ever could have. It brought a mirrored smile to Cassidy's face, remembering all the times she'd seen the little dog do it before, and it was all she could do to move quickly to sit on the edge of the bed to fall into each other's hug.

"You were just a little girl, and now you're a mommy." Millie was starting to sniffle again, "I missed your whole life."

"I did have any kind of life at all after we lost you." Cassidy scratched behind her ear. She always liked that, "Not until we came here."

They heard the door open, and soon Megan appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, "Alright girls, Muffin made us food. Come on."

Cassidy moved slightly across the bed, eyeing the basket her mother was holding and starting to reach for it. She was starving. She hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"No..." Megan pulled the basket out of her reach, "We're going to sit down at the table like civilized people, and eat dinner as a family."

Eli shifted nervously, but Megan answered his question before he could ask it, looking up at him with a smile, "All of us."

Big problems don't always have big answers. Sometimes it's a lot of little ones instead. Sometimes it starts with something as simple as the first real meal after a tragedy. A dinner among friends and family. A return to sense of normality. The first step away from the awful, is a first step toward something better.

But some big problems... Have bigger answers. Terrible ones.

"You want to know where I went when I left the farm." Henry stood before Elsie in the living room of his home, his arms folded over his chest, "You deserve an answer."

Elsie remained silent, regarding the pain in his expression with concern.

"I joined the Humanity First movement."

"What?" She blurted out in shock, "Henry... How could you?"

"I had to, Elsie. It was the only way..." He stopped, looking away with a sigh.

"I had to find my sister."

It had been a rough few weeks. It took a long time to get them to let him into the compound. Dropping his sister's name hadn't been as helpful as he expected, but they weren't about to let him see her without jumping through a lot of hoops first. He did his best to press them for information. Letting them talk about their cause and their beliefs and mostly staying quiet. He had often found that if you say nothing, people just assume you agree and they'll keep going on about it.

Eventually they had him assigned to a team that was going to bomb a changed camp the next county over, and he was beginning to regret his decision to come here. He was no closer to finding his sister, and now he was being asked to murder people.

So it was an obvious relief when the police and FBI raided the compound before any of that came to fruition. They found Henry pretty much first. On his knees with his hands behind his head, politely thanking them for coming.

It was half a day later before men in suits came to fetch Henry out of lockup, separating him the others that had been arrested in the sting much to his relief. He had just been trying to take the time to relax, but the other detainees would occasionally break out in angry screams and racist chants making it difficult for him.

Now they had him in an interrogation room. They'd taken off his cuffs, which he hadn't expected, and then left him to wait for more than an hour and a half. He didn't bother to complain. After everything that had happened the last weeks, the peace was almost pleasant.

Eventually one of the suits came in, holing a plastic bag with Henry's wallet and keys, and a few items they had taken from his truck. He tossed it down in front of him on the table, and casually as you please moved to lean on the wall, "You're free to go, Mr. Hoyt."

Henry regarded the man curiously, "I appreciate that, but I expected you would have questions. I'd like to set the record straight about why I was there."

"No need. We get it." The man said with a shrug, "Frankly we owe you one. We've had that place bugged for a while now. You got them to incriminate themselves more in a few days than we were able to get in months."

Henry tilted his head curiously, "So that it? I'm just free to go?"

"Yep." The man said, leaning off the wall to start out of the room, "I mean, when you finish what you came here for."

Almost on cue the man's partner opened the door, and a woman stepped inside. She wasn't cuffed, but was wearing the orange pants and shirt of the jail they'd been keeping her in. She was a little younger than Henry, crows feet starting to form at the corners of her eyes and a bit of grey in her otherwise black hair.

The new agent led her in to sit her down across the table from him. The first one was at the door, "Might want to make the most of this, Mr. Hoyt. She's about to dissapear into Witsec for her testimony. You're probably never going to see her again."

The agents left, leaving them alone.

"Hello Henry." She said coldly, "How's the bitch?"

"You never got my letters then." He shook his head. He hadn't expected this reunion to be happy, but it still hurt a little to hear her talk this way, "She passed, Mary... About a year ago."

A look that almost seemed like concern barely graced the woman's face, but only for a moment, "Well, you're better off."

"Witness protection?" He he said with a sigh, "You're going to testify against your own movement? Hell, you practically started it."

"Just the ones that stabbed me in the back." She shrugged, "We we're supposed to be putting humanity first, hence the name. A few individuals have been more concerned with their own agendas."

"So I noticed." He'd spent enough time in the compound to realize exactly that. The men in charge were more focused with their own power than any cause.

"What about you, Henry?" She said, furrowing her brow at him, "They said you spent weeks with them. Any of it finally make sense to you? Are you ready to pull your head out of your ass yet?"

"We're not doing this." Henry took up the bag of his belongings, removing the folder he'd been keeping in his truck to fetch some papers, "I didn't come looking for you for a reunion."

He slapped down a couple of pages before her, and then a check. She looked them over and then back at him curiously.

"You're going to sell me your half of the farm." He said, reaching into the bag to pull out a pen one of the agents must have helpfully included, "Sign."

"That's why?" She said in annoyance, "That's all this was about?"

"You want any kind of explanation from me, you sign right there first." He looked her dead in the eyes, "It's a quarter of a million. Far more than your half is worth, and pretty much the last of my share of the inheritance. Wherever they stick you, you'll live in comfort. Take it."

She eyed him right back, eventually taking the pen and signing her name to each of the documents, "Fine. What use have I got for a farm anyway. The animals are probably all going to die."

Once she had signed, he relaxed, "Not all of them. Some of them have made it already. They're helping me start over."

She looked back at him, suddenly regretting what she had agreed to. He knew that look, and even as she went to snatch the papers back to tear them up, he beat her to it and had them safely back in the folder before she could do so.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She leaned toward him, "You're actually living with those abominations?"

"No, Mary." He said standing now and picking the rest of his things out of the bag to put them in his pockets, "I'm living with my family. You used to know what that meant."

All she could do was shake her head, ashamed of her big brother all over again. Some part of her had held out hope that he could be swayed, but it was clear to her now that he was the enemy.

Henry stood and walked to the door, pausing to look back at her...

"Goodbye, Mary."

Henry finished his tale. He was sitting on the couch now, leaning his elbows on his knees and sad from the telling. She was sitting next to him, an arm around his shoulder that felt to him like it was the only thing keeping him from falling.

"She's a monster now." He said with a sigh, "I don't know what happened. She used to love the farm, and now she's just..."

Elsie used her other hand to prompt him up to lean back into the couch, "That's why you left? Because you didn't own the whole farm?"

He nodded slowly, "When your son died I started thinking a lot about how things were. Where you slept, what you ate, how you lived... It wasn't good enough. I had to do better, and I couldn't do that if I needed her approval every time I wanted to build something."

"Why didn't you just say that?" She shook her head.

"Same as always. Trying to protect you from things, making it all worse in the process." He said, letting his eyes lower, "That and I... I've always tried to support the Changed any way I can, but my only living relative would rather see you all dead or in chains. I never wanted any of you to know that about me."

They went quiet for a while, and eventually she drew her arm away. She needed to withdraw a bit for what came next.

"Angel was my daughter."

He looked over at her in surprise, "I... I didn't think you knew."

"Of course I knew." She said with a long sigh, "I may not have been changed when I had her, but I knew my own daughter."

He reached up to run a hand through his hair, sighing as well, "I wasn't here for that. I'm sorry. I hope it wasn't too bad for her."

"Sophie and I... We think..." She started to say, having to stop to swallow the lump in her throat, "She might have made it. If you'd been here, she could have lived."

The words struck like a knife through his heart, blood running cold as the gravity of that washed over him. He sat stunned for a bit, and then the feeling came back. It brought with it wave of tears, and he put his hands over his eyes as if to try and hide it. He couldn't hide the sobs though. There was no way.

She turned to him again, putting a hand on his leg, "I never planned on telling you, but we can't go on keeping these secrets."

He sat there weeping, trying to form the words and choking on them a couple of times before they finally got out, "I've failed you. I've failed you all. I'm so sorry."

"No you didn't." She wrapped her arms around him now, "All these years I've wondered why you weren't there, and now that I know... It makes sense. You didn't fail anyone. You were just doing your best."

He couldn't help but lean into her, putting his arms around her as well, "How can you ever forgive me?"

"Henry..." She let her eyes close, whispering the words into his ear...

"I just did."