FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Tall grass and scattered grazing dinosaurs streaked past us as we raced toward a hill set away from the others, mostly bare stone with very little vegetation. At the hill's base we slipped into a small canyon, still too fast! A large cave opening loomed and we kept on going... into an underground tunnel that looked very much like the secret cave lair of a Batman movie.

We came to a large pillared chamber, rough-hewn from solid stone, filled with limos and sports cars and other luxury vehicles. Lewis set his limo down among them and killed the engine, then stepped out and told us "time to meet and greet!

I opened my own door and stepped out before Natan could rush around and open it for me, and the three of us started towards an ordinary-sized bronze door at the far side of the parking lot. "You really must try the caviar!" Lewis said, "But be gracious, and try your best to make a good impression. These people will be judging me by the way you act."

"Right," I replied, and Natan nudged me with his elbow. He whispered "Hey, don't you wanna to be rich? Play along."

I glared at him for an instant as we walked up to the bronze door, which opened for us as we approached. Behind it was a pair of ornate bronze elevator doors set in a pattern of interwoven grape leaves. The doors opened and we stepped inside, and Lewis fitted a key into a small control panel on the side of the elevator wall, and turned it. The elevator dropped so precipitously I almost lost my balance, and then came just as quickly to a halt. The elevator doors pulled back and Lewis waved a flamboyant arm, announcing "Ladies and gentlemen: The ball."

Beyond the doors was an enormous rock-hewn dome supported by massive gilded steel columns, with hundreds of tiny electric lights overhead set in the constellation patterns of Vroufling stars. On the gleaming marble floor clustered small groups of fancy-dressed Vrouflings, with here and there a Yenta as well, and the dog-and-sulfur scent of them came thick to my sensitive canine nose... and Natan's scent as well. Lewis had taken us away before he had a chance to bathe, and he still smelled of sex with a bitch in heat. Still smelled of me, in the most intimate possible way, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. At attention on the periphery stood several dozen jade-colored statues in the form of fanciful animals, and also Vrouflings of different breeds. They were all life-sized with smooth rounded contours, somewhat stylized in form, but were they really carved of solid jade? I doubted it. In fact, as I looked closer I began to doubt they had been carved at all. Cast from molten glass, perhaps, or...

"I want you to meet some of my friends, so be positive," Lewis said, and then he took a cigar from his jacket, put it in his mouth, and touched the end of it with his fingertip, which somehow caused it to light. How did he even do that? I stared as Lewis puffed and adjusted his smoke, getting it just right, then I looked back at Natan and asked him "Are they all like this?"

"No. They differ, but they're always fun," he said, his tail wagging. He licked my ear and I snapped at him, only half in jest, then he put his arm around my waist and led me in. After all I had just been through, it still felt weird to be treated like a lady, even by Natan. But I followed quietly, just taking in the sights, sounds and smells. Lewis was walking out in front of us, leading us towards an opulently set table with an elegant green glass-jade swan gracing the center of it. As we approached, the swan seemed to be watching me. Nothing but my overwrought imagination, of course. Surely nothing more than that. At the table Lewis met another Yenta, a female by her clothes and smaller horns, and immediately launched into an animated conversation with her. Natan and I were on our own for the moment and I turned to him, whispering "Natan, are these statues around us really statues? I mean, maybe I'm paranoid but the Yenta are really high tech and what if they're actually--" I tried to say 'robots' and a different word came to my lips, a Vroufling word that meant something like "invincible guardians of the masters."

Natan smiled and whispered "Yep, they're guardians alright. Lewis prefers not to take guardians with him about town, but most of his kind are not so bold. No Yenta-Vroufling gathering is without them. And hey! You called that thing on the table a swan. That's some kind of a bird, isn't it? Like you have on Earth? I've never seen a bird. Only pictures. They must be quite the sight to see in real life! What do they smell like?"

I cocked my head to one side, thinking back to my old life as a human, and answered "Kind of like dinosaurs, I'd have to say. Which makes sense since birds are just modern-day dinosaurs anyway. I think you'd love--"

"And Larry! So rude of me to let myself become distracted. Please, let me introduce you to Grisengen, a very old friend and colleague of mine. She has been so wanting to meet you."

"Very old? Lewis! You know that's no way to introduce a lady!" Grisengen smiled a snaggle-toothed smile and snatched up a cut-crystal punch ladle, threatening to bop Lewis on the head with it. Lewis ducked sideways and begged her, "Please! Not the ladle! You can punish me some other time, when the guests are not watching."

Grisengen laughed "Very well. One humiliating punishment, saved for some other time." She set the ladle back in its bowl and turned to me whispering "You must forgive our poor Lewis, here. He's never been the one to put much stock in manners. Quite the Bohemian artiste, he is! And look now... he's brought you! This new music style of yours has us all terribly excited. It has put my Edison's fame quite in the shade!"

Lewis protested "You don't mean that, Grise. Edison is a bonafide genius; one of the best dogs you've ever had. It would take a titanium pry bar to tear him from your clutches. Shall I call for one?"

"Thank you no." She took up the ladle again and filled a crystal goblet with a tawny-red punch smelling quite strongly of alcohol. She handed the goblet to me and urged "You must try this! It is Lewis' special recipe. If he's to be believed, the rum in it has come all the way from Barbados, on Earth!"

I took the punch and lap-sipped from it, just once, thinking of Natan's puppies growing in my womb. God, what was I going to do about them? If I was going to terminate the pregnancy, I'd better get right to work on that! "This is really good!" I said, then handed the goblet to Natan saying "Thank you, but I can't be drinking alcohol right now. Um... do you have any fruit juice?"

Grisengen eyed me keenly and said "I never guessed you'd be a teetotaler!" She signaled the help for juice and said "I simply loved that single you cut! Please, come with me; I want to introduce you to my man Edison. His ideas about upgrading Vrouf radio technology dovetail quite nicely with the work you are doing." A Vroufling servant brought me a gold cup filled with red fruit juice. I sniffed and tasted and... Pure strawberry! Crushed just minutes ago. Who needs interstellar rum punch, anyway?

I sipped my juice and nodded and said "Of course! I would love to meet a genuine genius. Not sure how well I can hold up my end of the conversation, but I'll try."

Grisengen laughed "You'll do fine. The two of you have more in common than you know. Come this way."

I said goodbye to Natan, who was busy talking to some other Yenta, and we walked off to a knot of admirers surrounding... a border collie! Edison was another border collie, just like me! Black and white and lanky-muscular, with fur patterns quite similar to mine. He was wearing a white cotton steam-punk smock, set with fanciful brass fittings and an impractical open chest, which looked much better on him than my description suggests.

Grisengen introduced us then quickly excused herself, and was quickly forgotten. Edison was quite the charmer! He tried to talk about music but I was tired of that, and steered the conversation to electronics instead. No problem doing that. Edison loved his work, and was delighted to have an understanding ear to share it with. His circle of admirers drifted away in boredom as we talked about vacuum tubes, and a new invention of his called the transistor, and his work on tweaking radio circuits to modulate frequency rather than amplitude as a way of reducing static.

Edison made a geek joke and I caught it, laughing with him, both our tails wagging in double-quick synchrony. He took my paw-hands in his and said "You're my kind of bitch, Larry! Will you have my puppies?"

I froze motionless, jaws parted in astonishment. "What did you just say?"

Edison looked puzzled. He said "Did is say something wrong? I meant no disrespect; quite the contrary! I don't do puppy contracts all that often."

"Puppy contracts?"

"I'm sorry, I just assumed you knew. A good Yenta puppy contract pays a lot to you, directly, and also guarantees support and an education for every pup in the litter, even if they never become famous. As you can imagine, they're kind of hard to get."

"You are not a Yenta, Edison. I'm quite sure of that. Whose contract are you talking about?"

"Grisengen's, of course. She's my patron, just as Lewis is yours."

"And why should Grisengen care about me?"

"Larry my bloodline is long, and rich with famous Vrouflings. Most of them Grisengen's. Your line is brand new, synthesized from scratch just a few weeks ago. Who can say what might arise from it? Lewis has high hopes, obviously, but Grisengen wants a part of the action too. No doubt they're opening negotiations over your breeding rights this very moment. Grise has told me if I like what I see, she'll make Lewis an offer he can't refuse." Edison laid a paw-hand on my neck, lightly stroking. He leaned forward, nuzzling my ear, and whispered "I like what I see!"

"And what about my opinion?"

"You won't refuse either, when you see her offer. We Vroufling can be feisty when honor or passion is involved, but when it comes to money, the Yenta always get their way."

A cutting putdown rose to my lips and I stifled it, remembering all at once that I had sold myself, to a Yenta, not so very long ago. Quite the bargain, I was... to the old me back on Earth! Ten million tax-free dollars for him. And a belly full of mongrel puppies for me.

"Well you and Grisengen are a bit late with your plotting," I growled. "I'm already pregnant by Natan."

Edison seemed surprised by the news, but not upset. He shrugged eloquently, wagged his tail, and told me "No problem. We can make puppies some other day, and now I have more time to get to know you better! Please now, you seemed to understand when I was going about that reverse bias circuit trick. Primitive stuff for an Earthling, no doubt. Could you... could you maybe tell me how a laser disk works?"