Out of Pain
A young wolf finds love out of the ruins of his last relationship
You know the drill don't read this if your under 18 or don't like male on male interaction.
Out of Pain
"Why, why doesn't any thing work out the way I want it to?" I thought as I sat there on that park bench crying out what was left of my heart. Well I suppose I should tell you how I got to this point and why I'm crying and all that so I guess I will, a few hours back when I walked into my apartment and my whole world changed.
"Wow I cant believe my boss let me off early" I thought to my self as a quickly caught the bus back to my apartment, I had taken the week off to be with Alex because I hardly ever got to spend time with him any more. I was shaking with excitement at the thought of spending all that time alone with Alex made my heart beat with joy as I reached for my keys and quickly tried to open the door to our apartment. Upon finding the key I quietly opened the door and crept into the apartment and perked my ears to see if he heard me, all I herd was soft talking coming from our room, figuring Alex was on the phone I sneaked over to the door in curiosity and pressed my ear to it. In side I heard much to my surprise, not only the voice of my mate but the voice of another, now even more curios I pressed my ear hard against the door to find out what they where talking about.
"...mmhh my wolfie" I heard the unknown voice say, that alone was like having my heart ripped out by a rusty spoon but I kept listening as my mate spoke tears already running down my face as I thought of what might be going on in our room.
"... My foxie..." I pulled away from the door unable to here any more; time seemed to stand still as I stood there trying to comprehend what I had heard unable to be there any longer I bolted from the apartment tears streaming down my face. The next thing I knew I was on that park bench where Alex and I first kissed, crying my heart out.
"Why, why doesn't any thing work out the way I want it to" I thought as I sat there on that park bench crying out what was left of my heart. As I sat there crying completely oblivious to the world due to that fact the world had, in my mind, collapsed around me. After only being there for a few moments even though it felt like and eternity, I felt a paw on my shoulder and I looked up to see whom it was.
"Hey you ok?" The dog asked, now that I look back on it I realize that he could have asked �what was wrong?' not you ok but the first few hours after I found out about my mate are still kind of foggy and my memory of events isn't so clear.
"I just found out that my mate is cheating on me..." I whimpered and put my head back down in my paws still not truly comprehending what happened, the world seemed to be a dream (to this day I wish it was). I shuddered as he kindly rubbed my back trying his best to comfort me.
"Wow..." Well the dog didn't really know what to do to help me, it didn't help that I suddenly stood up with a resolute face.
"I need to go talk to him this isn't going to fix itself" I don't know what sparked this in me but I felt I had to do it I no longer cared that my mate was cheating on my all I wanted was for him to be happy so in my mind I had to do what I was about to do.
"Um ok that sounds like the right thing to do..." I didn't hear the rest because I had already stared off down the path.
When I reached the apartment I found the door unlocked but closed which is funny I don't remember even taking the key out of the door much less closing it. As I slowly walked in I saw that beautiful wolf that had stolen my heart all those months ago sitting on the couch with a disturbed look on his face. As I entered he looked up and sighed.
"Look let me explain..."
"Do you love him?" I cut him off. He again sighed at the question.
"Yes I do but I'm very confused right now I have know him for a long time but I don't know what to do"
"Where is he?" I asked looking more resolute than ever struggling to keep back my tears.
"He's sleeping, look I still love you but I love him too, I just don't know what to do."
"I'm leaving you I'm sorry but I have to I hope your happy with your fox" saying those words shredded my heart but I knew that I had to say them.
"I wont stop you if you want to leave but know this, every time I say I say I love you I really mean it, just give me time to figure things out" That was it I couldn't stop the tears that where flowing down my face as I made the hardest decision of my life.
"I'm sorry I cant stay with you, again I hope you and your fox live a happy life together... now if you don't mind I would like to talk to him, alone" I wanted to fall on to my knees and beg for this to be a dream but I had something I need to do and I was going to finish what I came to do. I heard him plead with me not to go talk to him as I turned and walked to our bedroom. When I slowly opened the door I found that the fox was actually awake and probably waiting for his lover to return.
"I need to talk to you" Yah I know it sounds a little harsh but I wasn't exactly in the best of moods.
"Um ok..." The fox looked a little confused by the wolf that was defiantly not Alex standing in the doorway.
"I was Alex's mate but as of a few minutes ago I broke up with him I hope the two of you are happy together" As I turned to walk out I saw our neighbor, Kevin, standing by the door talking, I quickly moved past him, tear streaming down my face, unable to remain in the place where my love was.
I don't know why but I ended up on that damn bench again doing the exact same thing I had been doing when I had first been there, crying my heart out. And again for the second time to day I felt a caring paw on my back, I looked up and found that it was Kevin.
"Hey Ady what happened?"
"I found out that Alex was cheating on me so I left him... but now I think I just screwed things up more..." I hardly even noticed him slip his arms around my or myself doing the same to him I cried softly as we embraced. It was like a dream with in a dream, here I was having just lost my mate being comforted in a way I could never have imagined from my next-door neighbor no less.
I don't know how long I stayed in his arms, time was meaningless, but for how ever long it was he never stopped trying to comfort me. After a while I managed to calm down enough to tell him what had happened and what I had done. After that was out of the way we got to talking, and again time seemed meaningless as we talked the hours away, and every moment spent talking to him was helping me to recover from the night's events. I have never stopped thanking him for that and I don't think I ever will.
"Where are you going to stay to night Ady?" that wonderful fox asked, honestly I didn't know but I had several friends that I was sure would take me in for the night. It never once occurred to me to just stay at Kevin's place, and I don't think that thought crossed his mind either.
"I don't know, but I have several friend I'm sure will let me crash at their place for the night" That amazing fox just looked into my eyes, nodded and once again we embraced, we stayed like that for a while and before we said our good byes and went our separate ways I asked: "Um will you meet me here tomorrow?"
"Yah I will" he said and we turned and went opposite ways.
It was just after midnight when I got to Sabah's place and knocked on the front door the rather sleepy looking lion answered the door with a concerned look on his face.
"Hey Ady... um what are you doing here?" hey yawned and I felt a little guilty waking him, I sighed and looked at the ground after he asked the question.
"I left my mate" I muttered
"What?" I sighed and spoke up.
"I left my mate so I need a place to stay for the night." Before I even finished talking he had ushered me into his apartment. We sat down on his couch and I told him what had happened by the end of my story he had tear running down his face in empathy.
"Aww Ady I'm so sorry" It was late and this time it was my turn to yawn.
"Ok I think its time to go to bed" I said and I started to get comfortable on the couch but Sabah stopped me.
"I'll take the couch," he said and I looked up at him.
"I would hate to kick you out of your bed" He just hugged me and gave me a look that said take the bed I insist so I stood and walked off to his bedroom. The moment my head touched the pillow I was asleep.
In the morning I awoke and the past days events came crashing down over me, I whimpered and started to cry, hard I just couldn't believe that I was now alone and that it had all really happened. Sabah heard me and quickly came in to help comfort me. He crawled into the bed and wrapped his arms around me doing his best to comfort me as pain wrenched though my body and not just my mind it felt as if I was being torn in half and in a way I was, having just lost my lover. We stayed like this for several minutes as I tried to compose my self, when I had stopped crying he let go of me and stood up and headed towards the kitchen.
"Breakfast is ready come on" I stood and followed him whipping my eyes as I left the room.
Breakfast was a quiet event; we just sat there in silence as I picked at my food because I just want in the mood to eat. Sabah finally convinced me to eat some of the food and after I helped with the dishes, much to Sabah's displeasure, he had to go to work I on the other hand had taken the week off and was left to my own devices. Suddenly I remember Kevin and I grabbed my coat and headed off to the park.
When I reached the park bench where I had been the other day, I found it empty, so with a sigh I sat down and waited mulling over my thoughts about the past days events. I didn't have to wait long as I was suddenly hugged from behind and as I turned to look I heard Kev say:
"Hey Ady how you doing?" despite my self I couldn't help but smile as he held me.
"I'm doin' better thanks for staying with me last night, it really helped" I stood and hugged him in thanks for that night. He may have not realized it but he actually kept me from completely losing it and doing something I would have regretted but all I knew right now was that I had somefur that tried his best to help me though this.
"You know why don't we go for a walk?" Kev suggested. I shrugged figuring that any thing would be better than just sitting on that park bench so we headed off down the path in the lawn that lead deeper into the park.
After walking in silence for a few minutes we came to a fountain you could put your foot paws in. So naturally we both had our feet in the cool water of the fountain, as we sat there my mind again began to go down that path towards what had happened I just couldn't help it. I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder, happy to just be with him, he just smiled and rested his head on mine. Within moments we where hugging each other with me gently nibbling his neck, this only made him giggle and hold me tighter. With one paw on his shoulder I gently pushed him onto his back and laid onto of him, I looked into his eyes for a moment before kissing him. I soon got really into the moment and completely for got where we where and rolled us over, wanting him to be on top, into the fountain.
"Oops" I said as I popped up out of the water, "I forgot about the fountain." He just giggled and splashed water at me, but before I could react he was floating on his back near me and I couldn't resist going up to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He giggled and smiled at me.
"Your cute Ady" he said and I swear I turned a dark shade of crimson at his compliment. As flustered as I was I simply told him with a grin:
"Your cuter." He just grinned and shook his head.
"I'm not falling for that one" and I smiled and said
"Aww ya caught me"
After swimming for a while I climbed out and laid on the grass, Kevin wasn't far behind and was soon lying right next to me, I turned and planted a soft kiss on his cheek he just smiled and returned the kiss.
The time I spent with Kevin over the days after made me happy and I loved every second of it but when I was away from him I kept thinking about Alex and what had happened and was rapidly approaching depression, simply being with one fur helped but it didn't really solve my problem. I wasn't acting like my self and I just didn't feel good, this thing was really stuck in my system then I came up with a great idea, picked up my pen a paper and began to write:
"Why, why doesn't any thing work out the way I want it to?"...