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Greetings and welcome to the sixth chapter of Attachment, a kinky, loquacious, self-indulgent furry erotic fiction. Go check out the other chapters if you're new to it. Or go read some of my other work, if you like. This one has some considerable dancing around sexual subjects, and is marked adult because of some of the content, but no actual sex yet. Coming soon.

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The rest of the morning was spent arranging the results of my meeting with Ventar. We had our meal, and he helped me with my embarrassing physical needs, and then we prepared for my second audience that afternoon, with Chieftain Shedus-Abew. I intended to press him into some sort of commitment on getting these damn shackles off my wrists and ankles, or being taken to visit my ship, or at least, at least, getting my arms put in front of me rather than behind, but I was loath to throw my very limited weight around at the undisputed kingpin of the hierarchy responsible for my situation. Mohjir's advice on how to approach the matter was, as always, invaluable, and I was again thankful I had him to rely on. I was a lot more direct about such subjects than I had been at our first meeting, and was able to drag the Chieftain into a long and undoubtedly irritating circuitous conversation that at least emphasized my points to him. Better than a demure and easily-forgettable mumbling, like my last attempt.

Unfortuantely, Shedus-Abew was as 'gifted' with his words as Mohjir claimed I was. Though we danced around the topic for nearly half an hour, I was unable to secure anything like a firm commitment or even a solid acknowledgement of my formal objections -- which I did register with him, verbally if not on paper. I understood, of course; he would free me when it was politically convenient for him to do so, and given developments in Council, it was not. I would have done the same. And I would have understood my own distress, my own attempts to manipulate the situation in my favor. It's frustrating, to realize your opponent is operating to the same parameters and drawing the same conclusions as you might. One cannot outsmart oneself... and it would be unwise to pick sides this early in my posting. I had to endure the unendurable, and allow it to sort itself out, to avoid drawing any ill will upon myself, and best serve my own objectives.

I felt cross. And displeased, at the thought of yet more audiences tomorrow, yet more individuals given the chance to gawk at my intimate regions. And simply, generally, overwhelmingly... discontent. It was a many-layered feeling, many-faceted, and not something I could easily dispel, much as I wished to concentrate. And, despite our degree of reconciliation, I still felt on tenterhooks with Mohjir after our most recent misunderstanding. If, indeed, I wished to have a friend here, I ought act more carefully with him, and regard his interests in my actions. The least I could do for him, over the whole span of my posting, would be to leave his career and reputation in a better condition than mine currently was.

Perhaps it left me somewhat morose, recognizing the great challenges in my situation upon all fronts, more even than I had seen a few days prior. I read by the fire that evening, and Mohjir, though generally inclined to keep me company when I was not immediately occupied, left me alone after a few grunts that I didn't really intend to sound as dismissive as they did. I was able to read the script on my own now, slowly, but it was still a labor for me, and required a fair amount of concentration; I wasn't to the point of being able to carry on a side conversation during. Truthfully, though, after he'd gone to tidy something up in the study, I found myself reading and rereading the same passage.

My stomach grumbled.

Did I wish to have a friend? Is that what I wanted of Mohjir? Certainly, he hadn't ceased in casting such an implication himself, and I had never held myself aloof from my staff, such as they were in a given posting. Still, the nature of relationships as an Ambassador is that they represent and reflect the nature of relationships between the client states. I caroused with nobles and dignitaries of my host-country, I flattered and was flattered by, specifically to the degree and in the manner that it suited my official aims. There was no specific precedent for Mohjir's role I could bring to mind, no servant who had endeavored so wholeheartedly and honestly to earn my affection. In the empire, such aims were typically underhanded affairs, as though friendship was shameful and self-serving. Another reason I aimed to steer clear of court politics, though perhaps not quite so clear as imprisonment halfway across the world.

I supposed there was simply no prior instance in which I'd felt so sure of someone's motives. Underhandedness is transparent once you know to look for it, but as I analyzed my attendant, peeled back the layers of his behavior, I'd grown the more perplexed by their consistency. Mohjir was not safe, precisely, and it would be foolish to consider him so... but he had yet to surprise me, in that fundamental way that kept me on my guard in my official capacity. I was good at being surprised, good at handling it, good at anticipating it, good at responding in kind. More than any other judgement of my attendant's character, I felt that I had no use for these skills when dealing with him. And that, in itself, was telling. I could trust Mohjir to be consistent, if nothing else.

I hoped. One isn't surprised until one is surprised, is one?

"Emirus?"

I glanced up quickly, feeling as though I'd been caught in some manner. I hadn't moved my eyes along the text in many minutes, I feared. "Yes?"

He was standing a bit beside of my seat, between me and the fireplace, the orange light glinting off his furry silhouette. "It is quite late," he said, with a deferential nod. "You may wish to retire soon."

It must have been. I realized I was exhausted. "Yes," I agreed. "Likely foolish of me to still be up. And I've kept you up as well, haven't I?"

"Not at all," he said, with an easy smile, reaching out to take my book.

"Surely I must have, you rise before me," I observed. "You have every right to be tired, with how much I've seen you do every day. Had I dismissed you an hour ago, would you still be awake now?"

Mohjir considered for a moment. "...Likely not," he admitted politely, putting the book away. "But it is my prerogative to attend to you at whatever moment you have need of me, and I am able to rearrange certain duties to suit those needs."

"I daresay I don't have a particular need of you at this hour," I muttered, somewhat embarrassed, as I made my way into my bedroom.

"You are of course free to dismiss me whenever you wish," Mohjir allowed, following me, "but I do not expect that of you, and you should not feel it necessary. This is expected of the attendant role. If you do not find my company distracting or disagreeable, I am better able to accomplish my duties when I can see to them directly at all times of the day, and ensure that your needs are being met."

"I don't find you disagreeable," I protested. "but I don't see the point of keeping you awake simply because I'm wringing my brain over a book. I'm more than capable of handling myself." I hesitated, and then reluctantly backtracked. "Or, I suppose, I would be if not for my claws being like this." I rattled my chains.

"Your immediate situation does somewhat affect matters," the lepuline agreed. "If you wish more independence, you may of course have it, at any time. You need only say. But, at the present moment, I wish to ensure your well-being as directly as I can, if I may, particularly given that situation. It is my responsibility, and that is far more important to me than what you might offer as a convenience to me."

"You're very diligent," I chuckled, allowing him to draw the blankets down for me. "What might you be doing for me at this hour, were I not in this confinement?"

"Well," Mohjir mused, "It depends to some degree on the preferences of the individual, what the moment-to-moment role of the attendant is. When I served as a chamberman previously -- which, you understand, is a very similar position that only demands somewhat less in the areas of research and secretarial work -- my charge preferred to bathe before retiring, so I assisted in that, in undressing and dressing him for sleep, and in ensuring his comforts through the night, such as the fire being fueled and stoked, and the pitcher being filled."

"I can bathe myself just fine on my own," I found myself mumbling, sitting on the side of the bed. "I only ask your help to do that because... well, you know. And I would definitely prefer to dress myself."

"Of course, Emirus," he said gently. "I had not thought otherwise, I was merely answering your question as best I knew. You may direct me as you wish when... when the situation changes. I would never intrude upon you."

"If I had any choice in the matter, you wouldn't ever see me like this," I continued, indicating my nakedness with an embarrassed headjerk. "Your culture may not place any importance on such things, but mine does. I would... I would never willingly allow you or any other servant to help me bathe or undress myself. Such things are not done by others in the empire. Well, except perhaps a... close companion, I suppose."

Mohjir's eyes gleamed at me; he was carefully keeping them on my face. "Close companion?" he asked, with something of a laugh. "Your imperial euphemisms are quite floral at times."

"Ah, a mate," I elucidated, somewhat awkwardly. "Someone I... wished to remove my clothes in front of."

"Ah, yes," he replied. "I suppose the context there is different, for you."

I laughed a bit. "A great amount, yes, although surely it must be for your kind as well."

"Perhaps," he agreed, shifting his weight. His gray fur glimmered orange in the firelight with his every movement, with the gentle expansion and contraction of his ribcage.

"Perhaps? I suppose you don't wish to speak for the rest of your kind on this matter?"

"Alas, it is more that I cannot," the lepuline replied, with the knowing grin I'd grown accustomed to, "as I have no experiences to draw upon."

Again, I laughed, but then it trailed off, as I remembered more of what he'd told me before. "You... Mohjir, you've... never mated, have you?"

The lepuline fixed me with a stare, his emerald eyes made dark by the orange flames. "No, I have not," he said softly.

I don't know why I was surprised, but I was, and it likely carried through in my tone of voice. "Wait... really? Not even... fooling around?"

"For a male of my age, that is hardly unusual, I assure you."

"You are not that young, are you? You're certainly larger than a number of other males of your species." Seeing his expression darkening, I hastily added, "I mean to say, I'm aware that hydrans are long-lived, and that most other species are considered adults well before seventy -- "

"If you are asking if I am an adult, I am," he replied, clinical tone carrying a mounting aura of defensiveness. "And have been for some years, yes."

"I'm offending you again," I observed with a sigh.

"No, Emirus, you simply..." He paused, looked aside, looked back, folded his paws in front of him. "You are thinking with an imperial mindset. Among my kind, there is great competition for females, as I have explained. At my age, it is expected that I would not yet have had the opportunity. It would be a tremendous surprise, were I able to say that I had. For those few of my peers who have, there is great respect, bordering on awe, even if they did not father children." He paused again, for longer, seeming to gather his thoughts. "The manner in which you speak, the culture you speak from, turns that surprise on its head, into shock at the fact that I have not had such an opportunity. And that is... disconcerting, to me. You ask questions no lepuline would think to ask of me, not out of politeness, but out of foreknowledge of my answer. I am not uncomfortable with my place in my own culture, common and ignominious as it may be, but when you say such things, I feel... I wish... I wish I was respected in the way you clearly would have been, were you a lepuline. And I sense how I might be mocked, were I a hydran. Perhaps it is jealousy, in a way."

"I understand," I replied, thinking back with some discomfort to my younger years (though perhaps somewhat younger still than he was now, in relative terms). "I... did not mean to sound as though I was mocking you. I am sorry."

Mohjir didn't acknowledge my apology; the familiar look of curiosity did not appear. He was looking down at the floor. "You... as you said, when we spoke of it before, you... have mated many times."

I looked away from him, feeling the words catch in my throat once more. I felt some measure of guilt, in projecting on him in the way that I had, and that drove me to answer more than anything else. "I... have, yes."

"Your... former envoyships... they were not like this one, there must have been many women about to..."

"Well... More women than among the lepuline, I suppose," I agreed, reflecting that I had not seen a lepuline female up close in my entire time here. There were certainly some number of female councilors, but I hadn't been particularly inclined to appraise them upon entering their presence. They almost invariably had bare mammaries; that was more than a sufficient observation for the present.

"Did you... seek them out, or they you?"

"It... it depends," I mumbled. Often, the 'seeking' was mutual, though perhaps with somewhat different motives on each side. Bedding an ambassador did have its purported advantages, after all, particularly in cultures such as the Nerrenthine. Marriages were of convenience or diplomatic arrangement there, and did not carry a sexual expectation, leaving the majority of powerful individuals free to pursue their own aims in that matter, whether physically or politically motivated.

Mohjir looked up, then, and his eyes were boring into me; I was pinned in place, sitting on the side of my bed as he stood across from me. He took a step forward, slowly, unconsciously. "Emirus, if I may... And you are free to tell me I may not... When... How... did you first mate?"

I opened my mouth, cheeks burning; memories rushed back against my will. "I... am not sure if..."

But I couldn't, despite my embarrassment, my nakedness, everything; the trembling curiosity in his voice, the fixation in his eyes, the tidal wave of images and feelings that swept through my skull at his prompting... it dragged words out of me I wouldn't have ever offered of my own volition. He was patient, he waited, as I mumbled and fumbled and stumbled and finally began my reply over again, speaking to my feet.

"I was... younger than you, I think. Still in my studies. For... for those of my family's station, that... normally means being sent away from home, to live with others of one's age. And... one of those, m-my, ah, peer, we simply..."

But how, how to say it, how to describe the way sparks flew between us over many long months, to someone who'd never felt that before? I looked up earnestly, staring deep into Mohjir's eyes, searching for some sense of recognition or dawning comprehension, but there was only fascination, bewilderment, the mild sting of imposed inferiority. Something I'd given him with my mere presence, my foreignness, an unnatural disease for his kind. I felt responsible, but it was more than that. I felt the intimacy of his question pressed against me, heady and thick.

"I've... I've never told anyone about this..." I babbled. "My kind, we do not speak of such things, hardly ever, and it is not... something I have much practice with. I am sorry."

He made a soft nonverbal sound, a rumble, and there was the curious look in his eyes once more. "If you do not wish to..."

"No, I... I do." I looked up at him once more. "Though I am used to... 'thinking with an imperial mindset', as you put it, I would not say the imperial way of approaching... these matters... is particularly helpful. At any time, anywhere, but particularly in the Federation, in my present situation. And you..." I huffed suddenly, breaking into weak laughter. "If there's anyone I might dare share such personal truths with... In my present predicament... well, you are the only one I could do so with." I swallowed. "Sit beside me a moment, and I will try to find the words, for you."

He looked at me, expression complex, and then did as I asked. It was less intimidating, having him beside me; when standing, he was nearly my height sitting, and both being seated returned us to approximately our normal height ratio. I shifted uncomfortably atop my tailbase. The mere introduction of such thoughts was sufficient to provoke a reaction in me that I had to be conscious of, with how long it had been since... well, anything.

"It... took place in... my second-to-last year of schooling. I... we... had been acquaintances, not particularly friends, for the whole year prior. Perhaps more, I... can't recall. In imperial scribal schools, it is... expected, that the students are to attend to certain chores, and these vary with age and marks. For some time, we were both attending the stables, and that was... an opportunity to speak, to get to know one another more deeply. It is not a preoccupying chore, nor something one wishes to focus on too closely."

I took a deep breath. "It was... late in the year, cold. Exams were coming soon, and we were both very stressed. We spent much time studying, and shirked our chores, and so... we were made to catch up, late one night, by lantern. Perhaps an even less pleasant experience than usual."

I chuckled, and he did as well. My laughter ended before his. "The... the stress, you understand, it somewhat... drove matters further than they might have otherwise... We were alone, and it was very late, and we were tired, and filthy, and sweaty yet cold, and things had just been building up between us all year, words and smiles and motion, until the point that... W-we suddenly embraced, and... Our clothes just..." I stumbled to a halt, shame and latent arousal coursing through me. It would not do to get excited in front of my attendant, I had to control myself, but the memories were so fresh, even after so long. "S-sorry, I can't..."

He was watching me, nodded. "I will not ask you to speak more of it... I... I can see how that might... might simply... happen," he murmured. I felt very strange then, even more naked than I was, realizing Mohjir was thinking about me mating at that very moment. At least he still refrained from looking downward. "If... if the moments occurred in that form, and... and with the right female, at the right time..."

I blinked, ducked my head. It took me several long seconds, for I didn't really wish to discuss the topic further, but my memories won out, battled their way out past my lips. "Well... our... our imperial scribal schools, they're... well, mostly, they... the young men attend one, the women a different one. Mine was... was like that."

He was quiet again, and when I looked up, his expression was one of mounting confusion. "I... do not understand," he said simply.

"When I... first mated... it was not with a female. There were only males at my scribal school."

His brow furrowed slowly. "You... you... what? Not with... You mean to say, you mated... with... with a m-male? But, but, how... How would one..."

I faltered. "Is that... not... not something your kind does? On... on occasion, at least? I would have thought, given how many more male lepuline there are... Surely it would be almost natural... Unless perhaps it is forbidden?" I'd had little trouble with other cultures frowning on such behavior, particularly when it was someone of my foreign diplomatic status engaging in it, but I knew several religions and a fair number of sovereign governments were poorly disposed toward the matter.

"I..." Mohjir's eyes were widening; he looked like I'd punched him in the face. "I... I d-do not... the words you say, they make no sense to me." Seeming almost a delayed reaction, his cheeks began to flush, and continued, and continued. "If... that is something that... any m-male lepuline has done, I have never... never heard of it, and cannot imagine how it would... It is not forbidden, no, I have never heard it so much as... r-regarded to be a, a possibility..." He shook his head, seeming dazed. "This is... this is something imperials do?"

"W-well, yes," I muttered, with a half-snort; among certain other cultures, it was sometimes termed mating 'imperial-style', a tongue-in-cheek sexual position that referred more to the configuration of the two bodies than their arrangement relative to each other. "Some... some of us. Most of us, really. Well, kind... kind of. Some of us often, most of us... on occasion."

"I had thought... when you spoke of it in days past... I had imagined you mating with many females," Mohjir said softly, and I could not read his expression nor his tone of voice, aside from the deep blush. I reflected that I'd never seen him embarrassed to this degree before.

"Yes," I replied, trying not to fixate on his use of the word 'imagined'. "I, I mean to say, I do mate with females. I just, the first time..."

"So it was only with that... that one male?"

"Well..." I shuffled my feet. "Well, no, it... there have been... others... M-more females. I, I think, at least, I don't exactly... count. Just the first time was..."

"I see..." His eyes were still wide. "You... we, we are using the right term, yes? Mated? W-with a male?" He still didn't seem to quite believe what I was implying. "That is... that is the word we use for a male and a female."

"Yes... yes, that's the word I mean," I replied, with more humiliation at the subject matter than at his questioning of my Acyrot linguistic abilities. "We use the same word for both, in the imperial dialects, so... it seems appropriate, unless you know of a better term."

Mohjir shook his head, in a fervent, yet dazed sort of manner. I hadn't expected the revelation would strike him in quite the manner it had. "And... he... this male... you found him... attractive?"

"Extremely," I said softly, memories reverberating through my whole body. "He was... tall... A little older than me... deep blue scales... A very handsome color, if you're a hydran, you understand." I found it in me to chuckle, and then winced, as I felt a familiar cold sensation between my legs. A moment of clenching, shifting my knees closer together, and it went away, leaving me to hope Mohjir hadn't happened to glimpse anything as I vigorously suppressed any thoughts that might exacerbate the situation, make it impossible to hold in.

Mohjir chuckled as well, after a few seconds, though he still seemed somewhat out of sorts. He shook his head, and seemed to gather himself together. "I... thank you for indulging my curiosity, Emirus," he said, standing slowly. "By your leave, I will retire now, so we both may rest. I will keep what you have told me in confidence, of course. You should know... perhaps I should have said... that as your attendant, you need not fear I will ever speak of such personal subjects to others. It is... expected, that an attendant will know some things about his charge that are not for the ears of any other, and it is a great stain on one's honor, to betray that trust. I understand these matters are very private in your culture, and I will treat them appropriately."

"I am thankful... but I was not concerned you would, regardless," I replied. "I would not have trusted you, otherwise."

He smiled at me, still looking just at my face, and said nothing for a moment. Hesitantly, I smiled back.

---

Hmmmm, these two certainly seem to be developing a certain rapport, I do hope they'll be able to maintain a professional relationship going forward.

Oh come on. Y'all can see where this is going. You could see where this was going as soon as I called Mohjir "appealing" in chapter 1. That's half the fun, isn't it?

As a clarifying point, in human equivalences, when Mohjir says he "has been an adult for some time", he means he's "in his mid 20s" in human terms. Emirus, for completeness's sake, is in the equivalent of his mid 40s (around 200 years old in real-time), though I feel like he'd be somewhat embarrassed to admit it -- he's one of those types, and is due for a serious mid-life crisis any decade now.

I do wish I'd been able to explore Mohjir's perspective a little more prior to this, but keeping myself under control and resisting loquacious perfectionism is one of my new (er, not so new) writing aims, so I'll merely remark, here at the end, that his development of an inferiority complex of sorts is, of course, a deeper-set issue than it may appear to Emirus. Mohjir was in some ways primed to be especially bothered by interacting intimately with someone with Emirus's cultural and sexual context -- he, I suspect, has seen more than a statistically expected share of close friends who have been one of the lucky few to get laid, and has spent his fair share of time lamenting this fact with those who haven't. If it feels like his eyes were "opened" rather quickly to the concept of virginity being humiliating, well, it might be fair to say it's not precisely a new sensation to him, just a formerly nebulous one that finally has a solid fixation point. And that's all something I would have explored more in a longer work with more characters, and likely never finished, because hey, this is me we're talking about.

On that note, I'm planning on having the next chapter out in two weeks, like usual, though I'll be honest: I haven't been making progress on this story as well as I would have liked since I started publishing it, and the next chapter isn't done yet. Missing FA's deadlines and modifying its schedule was a big painful event for me, and I've talked some about how burnout was a big factor in the end of that story, so I'm trying to just be honest about where I am and where I would like to be going forward, rather than pushing myself and angsting over it. Hopefully two weeks will remain sustainable, but if not, well, this is my first story back from the great author abyss, and I'll try to get better as I go.