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Soft, warm sunlight spilled threw the shaded window, leaving warm patches on the bed. An arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close, and soon I could feel a soft breath in my ear. When I moved a little to get more comfortable the arm tightened.

"Don't," a voice whispered into my ear. A tongue began to bath my cheek, and I purred softly too it.

I sighed and twitched my ropy tail against the rabbit's thigh. My body pressed back against my boyfriend and I rested my head against him arm. We stayed like that for a few minutes until Ari pulled back and got out of bed.

The space behind me felt cold and empty without my rabbit. I looked up at him sensually, and asked, "Please come back to bed." I circled the spot next me. "We can sleep for a couple more minutes, you know you want too."

Ari smiled, ears tipped back slightly, and shook his head. "You know I would babe, but we have to get up and get ready for Christmas Eve," he said.

"B-b-b-but--" I started to beg, but he cut me off.

"It's almost eleven. It's time to get up," he said. He looked down at me and grinned, his eyes sparkling. "I'm about to take a shower . . . want to join me?"

Hmm, it was temping, very tempting. "You got ahead, I'll be right in," I said.

My rabbit rolled his beautiful amber eyes, knowing very well that I'll fall back to sleep once he's started showering, and sighed before heading into the bathroom. "You better be awake once I get out, Dan," he called out, his voice lethal.

I just shrugged off his idle threat and turned around and dug my face into my pillow once the shower started. It didn't take long for me to sleep, having dreams about Christmas and my bunny, and of snow mountains, just to two of us--maybe a cabin in a secluded forest.

I was thrust awake by a wet towel thrown on my face. "Huh, I'm awake." I peeked under the cloth and saw Ari staring down at me, arms crossed, long ears down, and with an unpleasant expression. I lowered the towel down to get away from that deadly gaze.

"Dan!" The blankets were ripped from the bed, and cold air caused my body to shiver. "Get your lazy ass up! We got stuff to do."

The shower was still going when I got in, and I sighed when the hot water hit my body. It felt really good, kinda wished I had taken the shower with him. I stood there for a couple of seconds, just letting my fur get soaked before washing myself. I grabbed the shampoo and squirted some on my paw and started lathering my sand-toned fur. The shampoo smelled of wild flowers and fruit--raspberries, melon maybe?

Before long I was done and grabbed a towel and started giving myself I quick rub down, leaving me feel still damp. I stepped out and made my way to the faucet and started brushing my teeth before I headed out.

Ari was still naked once I came out, making me smile. I leaned against the door frame, admiring my bunny's body. He was pretty tall for his species, with light gray fur that covered most of his body and creamy white fur that lined his tummy and traveled down to his groin, which still wasn't covered.

He had intricate markings in his fur, fingerless clovers for his paws with white fur, and his sock markings. Sometimes he'd get a few tattoo's every few months, and this time he had little snowflakes that went from his wrist and ankles, and started crawling up his arms and legs. He also had a giant snowflake in the center of his chest, taking up a good portion. He always liked getting different tattoos for the holidays, like the snowflake for Christmas. Last month it was leaves for Thanksgiving, and pumpkins and bats and black cats (for me) for Halloween.

After I finished drying off and getting dressed, we headed downstairs and got in the car. Ari pulled into the driver's seat while I got into the passenger's side, buckling up. Ari opened the garage door and started to pull out, the newly fallen snow crunching under the car's tires. Clouds started to shroud the sky as snow began to fall again.

I sat patiently as Ari fiddled with his phone to play some music. I occasionally flicked my tail against his leg, and that caused him to grin.

Classical music blared out of the car speakers, and I groaned. I didn't understand my bunny's love of orchestral/classical music. It was a little too relaxing--or epic, depending on his mood--for me. I wanted to listen to music, not fall asleep to it. So, when my paw started inching toward the dial, I could hear a claw scraping against the steering wheel.

"Touch that dial and you lose your paw," Ari growled.

I just stared at him. "You know," I said. "For a rabbit, you can be very vicious and mean. Aren't your species supposed to be cute and cuddly?"

The rabbit gave me a look. "Yes, well, you know I never liked falling into stereotypes."

I nodded. That's true. Ari is probably the strongest person--strong-willed too--no matter how cute he is. The funny thing is he's the gayest person I know.

The thought made me think back to when his parents had found out about us and their son's preference. They were furious that their son was a faggot, a cock sucker, and that he didn't deserve to live under their roof anymore, and how they were so disappointed in him for disrespecting the lord. They tried to convince him otherwise, that what's he was feeling was wrong, and that they could get him help. That got him going, saying how he was proud of who he was, that he was queer and proud about it. Course he could have handled proving it a little better. Ari threw his arms around me and gave me a full-on kiss, tongue and all.

After that . . . they threw him out and told him to never come back. My beautiful rabbit never even shed a tear . . .

My parents weren't too thrilled after they found out either, but never threatened to throw me out. It took a while for Ari to grow on them, but he has this innate charm about him. They saw how happy we made each other, and that eventually brought them around. Some times when we came over, he would call me parents mom and dad--this made my mother laugh a little, and my father groan about another mouth to feed. They loved him and were always happy to see him every now and then. Thank God, he didn't pull the same stunt with my parents like he did with his.

"You're so gay," I said, grinning.

Ari grinned back. "Only for you, dear," he said. He reached down and clasped my paw, fingers interlocked, thumb rubbing against my own. "Love you, cougar."

My grin widened, tail swishing. "I love you too, bunny," I said, and reached over and pecked him a kiss on the cheek. I was excited for tonight. Everyone was getting ready for Christmas Eve, and when we got closer to the packed grocery store, it was pretty apparent.

Ari and I weren't in a rush, having bought our food a couple of days ahead of time, we still had a few things we needed to get, nothing big.

Mark N' Bark was blaring holiday music once we entered. A few cervine employees had adorned red noses for the holiday. The atmosphere was lively with excitement, and with everybody rushing in to get their food, it made it pretty hard to get what we needed.

I went over and grabbed a cart, and asked, "What do we still need, Hun?"

Ari pulled out his phone and started skimming through the list. "We need to get some liquor and soda, and I want to get a few more decorations for inside."

I nodded and followed him down to the back for the wine and beer. We scanned through the different drinks, picking our favorite and some general brands our friends and family might like. By the time, we were finished with that aisle, we had a cart full of varies cases of beer and wines.

Just as we are about to leave, something caught my eye, and I reached over and grabbed it, holding a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps.

Ari grinned. "Good idea, Hun! Why don't we get some hot coco mix while we're at it?" He led us down the soda aisle, to the seasonal aisle for some small decorations.

My ears perked at the sound of our names called. "Hey Ari, Dan!" a voice called back. "Hi guys, doing your grocery shopping?"

We turned around and spotted the small ermine dipping between the crowd to get to us. She almost crashed into a cart that pulled out in front of her. Chelsea stepped passed the deer and came around and gave us both hugs.

"Hey Chels', what's up?" Ari asked.

"Trying to get things done before family comes over, you know." she said.

We nodded. "Same here," I said.

Chelsea grinned. Chelsea a is good friend we bet back in college a four years ago. She's about four or so years younger than us--Ari and I both twenty seven, and Chelsea is twenty-three--but we all got along well despite our slight age difference. Because of her short stature, everyone persevered her to be younger than she actually is. It was funny how much that annoyed her.

"Doing some shopping with your mom?" I asked, a smirk played on my lips, "Need your mom to buy beer for you, shorty?"

Chelsea's fur bristled, and the look on her face was priceless! Her eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their socket. "At least my mom still loves me."

I placed a paw over my heart and feigned offence. "Ouch . . . low blow."

She punched my arm and glared at me. "You'll pay for that." With that she wished Ari, and not me, a merry Christmas and staked off toward her mom.

I stood there and rubbed my sore arm, and turned toward my rabbit to find him with his face buried into his paw and shaking his head.

I laughed.

Ari sighed. "Why must you antagonize her?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Because it's fun. The little imp is vengeful, it's be interesting if she tried something, besides, she'll get over it."

"Yes well, last time you made a short joke--which you admittedly took to far--she dyed your fur pink, and it took two days to get it all out."

"Yeah . . . I love that about her." I placed a paw on Ari's arm. "Anyway, I recall someone enjoying calling me 'Pretty Kitty'"

Ari blushed hard under his silvery fur. "Y-y-yes well . . . you did look pretty cute with pink fur. Besides, you're lucky you didn't get in trouble at work, coming in dyed pink."

I grinned. I loved bringing up moments like this, things he'd rather forget about some of our bedroom play. "And I told them it was for breast cancer awareness week--I think that's why she picked pink."

Ari just "Hmmd"

"So, what's next on our list?" I asked.

Ari pulled out his phone and read off the rest of it. It didn't take long for us to finish off our list and head to the checkout stations, getting a warm, cheerful smile from one of the red-nosed deer cashiers.

The ride back home was quiet, which I didn't mind. It gave me a chance to think about my present I had gotten for my little hopper, and it excited me too. It'd mean the world to me if he excepted.

We arrived home shortly, and I told Ari he could start cleaning while I brought the rest of the groceries inside, setting them on the kitchen counter. I placed the beer and soda outside, figuring it'd be fine outside with how cold it was outside. Besides, no one will be over for a couple of hours, so plenty of time for it to be cold.

Ari started playing some Christmas music once I entered.

"Ok, you start working down here while I clean the upstairs," Ari said as he headed upstairs.

"Got it," I called out and started arranging the dining room to accommodate everyone. I spent a couple of minutes cleaning the kitchen and preparing some food for tonight. After I was satisfied, a made my way to the family room, polishing and dusting the furniture. When the both rooms were cleaned, I pulled out my phone and lazed around for thirty minutes watching Netflix.

A clutter upstairs made my ears perk.

"Shit . . ." Ari cursed softly.

"Everything alright up there?" I asked.

"Yes!" Ari hollered.

I waited a minute or two, and kept my ears perked for any other sound, tail flicking against the couch. Ari muttered something unintelligent to himself before calling me up, "Hey Hun, can you come up here, I need help with something."

I sighed, better not have _accidently_opened one of his presents. I made my way upstairs toward our bedroom, and pushed the door upon.

Oh. My. God. . .

Sitting on the edge of the bed was my boyfriend wearing some sexy Santa costume. He wore a Santa hat, while the lingerie hugged his body, with the stockings and legging going up halfway his arms and legs, and the thing that enticed me the most was the short skirt that teasingly hid the obvious budge that pressed against the thin briefs.

"Now normally, I would never do something like this, but then I thought why the hell not?" he said. He stood up and waved a paw down his costume, displaying himself. "You like?"

I walked over, eyeing my sexy rabbit, and gave a show by wiping the back of my paw against my lips as I drooled a little. "My dear, you look absolutely ravishing in that. What I wouldn't do to you right now."

Ari grinned and leaned forward provocatively. "Good. You should have seen the look on the checkout woman's face when I told her it was for me and my very handsome boyfriend. She assumed I was getting it for my girlfriend." He said the last word as if a bitter taste entered his maw.

"Well . . . your kind of are like my girlfriend," I admitted jokingly.

A wicked sneer spread across his short muzzle. "The girlfriend, am I? That's not what I recall last week."

I blushed as I had forgotten about that night. "I'm joking, of course."

Ari stared at me for a moment before beckoning me forward with crooked finger.

I stepped toward him, and my paw began to slide down his slim, velvet-covered body as I pressed my lips to his. Lower and lower my paw went, snaking under the skirt until Ari swatted my paw away.

"Hey!" he said, stepping back, and straightened his shirk. "You may look but not touch."

"Awwww!" I whined. "B-b-but why?"

"Because we have a house to clean, not to fool around--and for that girlfriend joke." He wrapped his arms around my neck and rubbed his nose against mine. "Besides . . . if you're a good boy, maybe I'll bring it out tonight . . . after everyone has left." He whispered the last part into my ear.

"Hmm," I grumbled. "Fine. You're such a tease."

The rabbit grinned. "I know. Now shoo, you have the main floor to finish and I need to finish up here." Ari ushered me away with a paw before turning around and bent down, flagging his small tail, and unruffling the end of the bed.

I couldn't keep my eyes off that ass as I walked away. Tonight, I was going to look forward to (both physically and metaphorically) get my claws into that costume . . .

Christmas music continued to play as we cleaned the house, and I couldn't help but sing Last Christmas, privately, to myself. But all the work downstairs was finished: the kitchen was clean and wiped down, the food was either already made or cooking, the pie for desert was baking. The carpet and furniture were de-furred--the joys of shedding, and dining room was set, so not much for me to do down here.

I headed upstairs and helped clean the rest of the house, and within two hours the place was completely clean. Ari and I headed downstairs, cuddled up in the couch. We had an hour to kill until my parents would arrive, so we popping in a Christmas movie about a fox cub defending his house from burglars. And for a while we had quite and peace until everyone would arrive. So, this was our own little reprieve.

My tail curled up against Ari's thigh, gently swishing. Ari cuddled close to me, resting his head against shoulder, and I bent down and nuzzled one of his long ears before rubbing at the base of his left ear.

"Mmm," he breathed. "That feels good." His foot stomped as I pressed and rubbed more into his base, causing me to grin. I'd learned this spot a long time ago and used it to my advantage whenever I want to tease him.

Course he knew my pleasure spots as much as I knew his--some I wouldn't care to admit.

Ari buried his face into my chest, and said in a muffled voice, "You'll pay for that."

"Aw . . . does my bunny haves sensitive ears," I teased, rubbing harder.

"Ahhhhh . . ." he squeaked. He reached behind me and grabbed my tail at the base before sliding his claw all the way to my chocolate-tipped tail.

I suppressed a pleasured moan as Ari said, "Does someone have a sensitive tail?" I raised his muzzle to mine, forcing him to look into my eyes. "You're lucky we have company coming over." I growled deep in my chest to let him know I meant business.

Ari just gave me a buck-toothed grin. "Love you."

I rolled my eyes before reaching down and pressing our lips together. The kiss was short and sweet, but made my heart pitter-patter. "I love you too, rabbit."

Ari rested his paw against my face, drawing my back into his kiss, and my tail tip flicked against him, feeling his lips once again. It was nice and the warm, homey smell and feel made me all fuzzy inside.

My nose pressed between his ears, breathing it his scent. It smelled of our shampoo, but under that was his nature scent, a beautiful scent that marked everything that he touched: it was the scent of home and love.

Everything swirled inside my head: My rabbit, mostly, and that fact we've been together for the better part of five wonderful years, all the joy and hardship we've endured, and of the preset meant for Ari tomorrow morning.

Ari glanced at me through the corner of his eyes, a sly grin on his muzzle.

"What?" I asked.

His grin widened and his ears tipped back slightly. "Nothing."

I gave him a coy look. "I know better, something's going on. I can see the gears in your head turning."

"Guess you'll have to find out tonight."

I pressed Ari's slender body against the couch, raising on his paws above his head. "Or I could find out now."

A pair of amber eyes stared at me, innocent and all, and I was about to prove how devilish those eyes could be until the mood was quickly killed by the sound of the doorbell. Both Ari and I jumped halfway into the air. We laughed and smiled at each other.

"We'll finish this tonight," I said, my tail swishing behind me.

Air tipped his head down, glancing up at me--looking both cute and sexy at the same time--and said, "That we will," he promised. He gave me at wink and wiggles his pink little nose, which, I always thought was adorable.

"Good." I grinned and released my grip.

"I'll get it," Ari said, sliding out from under me, and made his way to the door--smoothing his fur down in the process. "Mom, Dad it's good to see you again."

That put a smile on my lips at hearing that.

"It's good to see you too Ari," Mom said, reaching down to hug my boyfriend. She smiled when she saw me and came over and gave me a hug too.

Dad shook the paw Ari offered and gave me a nod. "Dan, Ari, Merry Christmas."

"Oh yes! Dan, could you get the presents from the car?" Mom asked.

I gave her a quirky stare. "Why did you guys bring them today? You'll be back tomorrow."

"True, but since we're already over, we figured why not. Also, we thought it'd be fun seeing you two trying to figure out what your gifts are." She brushed her nose against my cheek before standing back.

I looked at Dad, who nodded his muzzle to Mom.

I got it, I mouthed. It was more so Mom's idea then both theirs. Got it.

Both Ari and I got outside and grabbed the boxes and bag from the car trunk before placing them in front of the tree. We sat down on the other couch while Mom and Dad settled in. We had two hours before church, so Mom asked us how work's been going. I told her the small firm shipping I'm working at is doing great--I'm still filing shipment orders, but did get a pay increase. Ari is still a still a manager at the local convenience store. He's been working on his writing, and's been looking for a publication.

"That's great to hear," Mom said, taking a sip of her water. "You'll have to let me know how that goes, and I buy a copy."

Ari and I sort of just looked at each other. The story may not be the best thing for her to read, but we weren't going to tell her that.

"So, Ari," Dad said. "What's this story about?"

Fuck.

"It's a romance . . . it's about a wolf who gets shunned from his tribe and ends up meeting a lion, and well . . . falls in love. I really don't want to tell too much without give up any spoilers."

"Sounds kind of gay," Dad said.

"Berry . . . !" Mom sighed, her ears tipped back.

The two of us blushed and remained silent for a second before chuckling. My tail curled around my side, and Ari nestled cause my arm.

The small grin Dad had told us he was joke. Oh, if only he knew he wasn't far off from it. But Mom will find that out later, I suppose. Boy . . . what a conversation that'll be.

It was nice to see my parents again; we've all been so busy the past month and a half that we hadn't had time to get together. Ari and I hadn't been able to make it to thanksgiving because we were so busy, so having Christmas at our house was a great idea.

The four of us talked for a short while until it was time for Mom and Dad to head to church. My bunny and I headed upstairs to change, and might I say he looked very handsome in his suit. He brushed out his fur a little to look presentable for tonight, not that he always didn't.

"Hey handsome," I said, reaching in front of him to adjust the tie I got him for his birthday--one he only wore for special occasions. "You look great tonight."

From his reflection in the mirror, he looked back at me, his eyes bright and gleaming. "You're not bad looking yourself." He gave me a little nose twitched I loved and tilted his head back. His paw reached behind him and pulled our faces close to each other. Our lips touched, and I could feel Ari melt against my body.

I turned him around until we were face to face. My fingers caressed his cheek. "Merry Christmas Ari," I said. And we kissed again, but warmer and gentler. It was kiss of love, in a moment like this, like time could just stand still. It was a kiss with the man I loved to the core of my bones. I know we've shared many kisses like this, but this time if felt different, more.

Those amber eyes of his looked up at me and he smiled. "Merry Christmas Dan, and to so much more to come."

"Ari I . . ." I stuttered. I was so caught up in the moment that I was desperately tempted to ask him . . . but, it'll have to wait until tomorrow--as if it couldn't come any sooner.

His eyes swam with curiosity, and the tiny flicks of his ears meant he was thinking about something. I couldn't help but shake my head and smile. That big brain of his, always trying to figure out what's going on in my head. If only he knew.

I pulled him into an embrace, and together we brushed our noses against each other's cheeks, breathing in the others very familiar scent. His scent is constantly tickling my nose, it's hard so smell anything but--not that I'd want to. If I pressed my nose any deeper, I could smell my own mingled with his. It was faint, but still there, ever present.

"It's nothing." I rubbed his shoulder and grabbed his paw. "Come, we got to get everything ready." And together we headed downstairs, paw in paw. Time to get to work.

Mom and Dad were the first to arrive, saying the service was wonderful. They sat in the family room while we heated the food and set out the appetizers, and brought in the cooler of beer and soda. Mom was insistent on helping out; Ari told her we had it covered, but if she wanted to help with the dessert, she could.

"So, who all is coming?" Dad asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Just a couple of our friends," I said. "You've met most of them I believe." I took a swig of my own beer while checking on the potato casserole. Good, it's almost done.

Mom got up and helped out with the dessert tray, arranging the cookies on the try so they'd look pretty. "Ari, you did a lovely job with these."

Ari beamed. "Thank you. It helps when one of us cooks." His eyes slid to mine.

I grinned. "What? I cook . . . when I'm home first. But your usually home before I am."

Though I couldn't see his legs, I heard his foot thumping in annoyance and he shot me that you are so going to get it look. My grinned widened, reaching from ear to ear.

I went off the list of people coming inside my head. We got a few yeses and noes, and I wondered if Aunt--"Are Aunt Marci and Uncle Roger still coming Christmas Day?" I asked Mom. I realized I didn't remember if they were still coming over.

She stopped what she was doing and thought about it, her long ropy tail curling under her dress. "Yes, and they're bringing the cubs with."

The cubs. April and Shaun, I haven't seen the cubs in a long time. Last, I heard was that one was in the fourth grade and the other in third. It'll be nice to see the little ones again. I think Ari would like to see them too. Loves to spoil the cubs when he can.

That got Ari onto the conversation about his distant cousin--the one he still talks too--and their teenage cubs. He doesn't talk to them as much as he used too, but that made him think it'd be nice to see them again. He used to cub-sit for them when they were younger. Since his cousin's family moved away a couple years ago, they've slowly drifted apart.

That made Mom a little sad. Still, she helped out with some of the small things, fixing and cleaning up here and there. Dad sat in the love seat, drinking his beer. He made small talk with Ari and I as we busied around, adding some finishing touches before people made it over. Mom asked there was still anyone in his family that he still talked too. He said a few, not many.

It was dark outside when the first group arrived: Mike and Ronnie with their six-year-old cub, Peter, who was holding a small action figure in his tiny paws. The bears toed their cub inside, and wished us Merry Christmas. They brought a casserole of some sort and a small tray of cookies.

Slowly everyone flooded in, and soon our home with filled with friends, family and four cubs running around, screaming and laughing. With everyone here, it was hard to pick out any distinct scent; they all melded together, besides the scent of ham and sweets. Cougars, foxes, hares and pair of bears all mingled together, drinking and having a good time.

Jamie and Launa (foxes) asked how work was going for the both of us, and we said everything was going great so far. The foxes were expecting another cub; they just got pregnant--Ari couldn't help but gush over the news. It made me smile.

A gentle tug on my tail, made me turn around. A small fox cub had my tail in her dark brown paws.

"Can I have some juice?" she asked.

"Of course, Diana," I said. I got her a small plastic cup of apple juice, making her giggle in glee.

She thanked me and bounced off to the other cubs, tail wagging behind her. When the others saw what she had, they all asked for a glass too.

I joined my parent as they were talking to Aunt Marci and Uncle Roger about . . . I don't know, something. I just entered the conversation so I was lost. I just stood back a bit and drank my bear. It was nice to hear my family chat about what was going on in their lives.

Speaking of family, I looked around and found Ari talking to Mike and Ronnie, a glass of chardonnay in his paw. He looked up and winked at me, keeping his eyes on me while sipping his wine. I was glad he was having a nice time. It's been while since we've had everyone over, and I think Ari was grateful to have everyone here for the holiday.

With the conversations going on around me, it was easy to fall back into the loll of party. People were either drinking beer or wine or grabbing the appetizers or talking and laughing together. Simply, just enjoying themselves. Everyone was talking about their holiday plans, and the cubs were sitting away from the grownups, glasses of juice in their paws; it looked like they watching a children's Christmas movie on . . . my laptop . . . Hmm, Ari just have put it on.

Ari ambled over with a huge grin on his short muzzle. "God, this is turning out great," he said, taking another sip of his wine. "It's been so long since we've had this many people over."

I looked at him and smiled too, warmth radiating off of me. "Yeah," I agreed.

"Are you having fun?" he asked. He looked out at the crowd, but his ears swiveled toward me.

I nodded, tail swishing behind me. I leaned down and kissed his cheek. Warm rose within me, being here with my boyfriend and our friends together. It was almost magical, and the fact I could be myself with my boyfriend . . . it was indescribable. "What would I do without you?"

My bun blushed under his ashen fur. "Oh . . . Um, I don't know," he said.

I raised a brow.

His eyebrows furrowed. "What? Don't give me that look. Okay . . . let me think . . . I'd probably still be closeted to my parents and, I don't know, would still have worked at that crummy Café back in college."

He turned toward me. "Look Hun, if it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to tell my parents or persue my writing. I owe you everything . . . I was like most gay teens our age, secluded from people and shy. I didn't know what to do with myself."

I encased my rabbit in my arms, hugging him tightly to myself. So many things ran though my head, because I felt the same, and there were still things want to tell him. But they'd have to wait until later, until we had some privacy.

He stepped back and looked up. "Now, something has been bothering you the whole day; don't think I haven't seen those wheels in your head turning. Please tell me what's going on."

My ears tipped back, and I just shook my head and smiled. "Nothing that can't wait until later, I assure you." Silly rabbit . . . intuitive as always.

Ari gave me a look, his tall ears folded back. "Okay . . ." he said. "If you're sure."

I nodded. "I am," I said, and then took Ari's paw and let him over to were everyone was gathered by the Christmas tree, waiting to open presents. "Come, everyone is waiting."

Air and I sat in our special love chair and started handing out presents to everyone. We let the cubs go first so they can play with their presents why the rest of us took turns and could talk.

Peter, looked down at remote control model plan in his tiny paws. The little bear looked at the plan in awe. He looked up from his toy to his parents to us and back down as if to make sure this was real and he wasn't seeing things.

"What do you say to Uncle Ari and Dan?" Ronnie asked the cub, rubbing his ears playfully.

"Um . . . thank you . . ." he said, shyly. To be honest, it was kind of adorable. The cub jumped to his feet and ran over and hugged us both. His mother smiled at us and mouthed, "Thank you."

It was nice seeing all the excited looks the cubs got when they opened their presents, and once the they were done, the rest of us opened our gifts. I had gotten a new DVD player because us DVD/VCR player was "old and outdated"--at least that's what I was told. The next present was for Ari from Jamie and Launa. It was an apron that say . . . I blanched . . . um, I'd rather not say what it said . . . All I can say is that Launa suggest that Ari wear that tomorrow morning to wake me up . . . and only wear that.

"Oh my god . . .!" Ari blushed. His ears completely pulled back to his skull and his face was a vary bright red. "Alright, calm down," Jamie said, trying to defuse the situation. "Wear it, don't wear it, whatever."

"Of course, I'll wear it," Ari said. He looked toward me sideways, his lipped tugged into a sly grin.

I smiled back and gave him a wink.

Ari rested back against me as everybody back opening their presents, and as it was nearing the end of our gift unwrapping, our cougar friends (Tom and Tina) stood up. "We have an announcement to make," Tina said.

All conversation dribbled down until they had everyone's attention. Tina had her paw behind her back and held it out with a diamond encrusted ringer on her finger. "We just got engaged a few days ago!" she squealed.

I instant felt Ari tighten up against me. Oh no . . . .

Ari had been holding my paw until he let it go, hold it in his other paw in his lap. He got up and hugged them both. "Congratulation," he said. When he sat back down, he sat a bit away from me.

Marriage was bit of a touchy subject for us. I'm sure I'll get a mouthful tonight when everybody leaves. It always hurt him when he saw most of our friends, who are straight, getting married. He always wondered why we weren't married. It was legal now for people like us to get married now, something he says often.

We've had this argument many times, and tonight will mark another one . . .

"When did you guys get engaged?" Ronnie asked.

"A week ago," Tina said, her tail swishing behind her. "We wanted to wait until the Christmas party tonight to let everyone one now. You guys have no idea how hard it was to keep this a secret; any time I went out with my parents--which they found out about two nights ago."

Tom smiled and leaned down and kissed his fiancé's cheek. The cougar's tail curled up and wrapped around her tail. The sight was actually kind of cute, to see two of our close friends basking in love and their excitement.

"My god," he said. "You should have heard her mom make a fuss about not being able to tell anyone, at least, not until after Christmas."

Everyone sort of laughed at that.

Tina walked from person to person, showing off her ring to everyone. It was a gorgeous ring. It looked beautiful on her too, causing the young feline glow as much as the diamonds on the gold band.

"How long were you holding onto that ring?" One of the snow hares asked.

"Awhile," Tom said. "I almost had to bury it in the backyard just so she wouldn't mind it."

Tina lightly slapped his shoulder. "Stop," she giggled, and soon everyone was asking questions about the proposal. Questions like, "What were you doing when you told her?" "Did you take her out for it or did you cook for the occasion?" "How long were you planning on tell her?" "Who's going to be your bridesmaids?" Stuff like that, and it was interesting hearing them talk about it all.

I looked over to Ari too see how he was fairing, because I knew how he felt about us not being married yet. Ever since gay marriage was legalized a year and half ago, Ari's brought it up a few times. I told him every time that I wasn't ready for it yet. It hurt to tell my boyfriend that, but it was true. The thought of being married to him, I . . . I just wasn't ready for it, at least not yet, I told him.

I know how he felt every time he said no, like he wasn't important enough to be married to. That he didn't matter, and that was far from the truth. My rabbit meant the world to me; every minute spent together was time well spent. But getting married . . . was big thing--and that terrified me to a degree. What if I'm not good enough to get married to? Would I change? Would he? I've heard stories of happy couples that got married and then got divorced because they were unhappy. Like, what if that happened to us, even after all the years we've been together. And that thought of losing him for absolutely petrified me . . . .

And it's not Ari's fault, it's not. It's something that he's wanted for a while, even before gay marriage was legalized. And I want to give this to him, but it still felt . . . odd, and hard to wrap my head around it. I've been struggling with the concept for a long time. Like, before I met Ari, I had a friend--who despite the odds and the hate of gay marriage he married his longtime boyfriend on the sly. It was interesting hearing them talk about; you could see the glow in their eyes, and hear the warm and affection in their voice when they said I do.

But back then, the idea of two men getting married was . . . foreign. Maybe it was me personally, or made it was how society felt about us. I was happy for them, and that planted the idea in my head: when and if I would get married.

Even now though, after hearing our closest friends are getting married, I still had doubts about us as a married couple. I can only image what's going through Ari's head right now. The doubt and hurt he must feel.

And that . . . that killed my inside.

". . . . come on, tell us everything . . ." Ari said, breaking my reverie. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice our friends were talking.

Ari's ears were attentive and the corners of his muzzle lifted a bit when he heard the passion in their voice. Weather it was purposeful or subconsciously, he reached next to him and held my paw, interlocking our fingers, and that softened my heart a bit on the matter.

"Okay, okay . . ." Tom said, holding his paws up, palms out. "So, I was holding onto the ring for about a week and a half, just waiting for the right time to ask."

"How come it took you that long to ask?" Ari inquired.

Tom smiled down at my small rabbit. "We were so busy with both our jobs, and with everything that was happening the past two weeks. I just wanted to wait until everything had calmed down, I wanted to wait until the right time, you know? It wasn't until the day of our first date that I had asked her to marry me."

There were some awes at that, and even I thought that was vary sweet.

"Where did you get the ring?" Ronnie asked.

"Well, the ring was Tina's grandmothers, on her father's side, so that meant I had to ask one person to get it. I called Tina's father and asked him if he wanted to grab lunch together. That's when, after dessert, I asked his permission to marry his daughter."

"That was very traditional of you," Ronnie said. She had her arm wrapped around her husbands' arm, probably thinking back to when they got married. "How did her father take it?"

"He took it really well actually, to be honest, I thought he didn't practically like me for a while. I mean, that's how my father was when my sister married her boyfriend at first--but I think that was because he was a different species. I liked him, a nice guy for a lion. Dad got over that a couple years ago, though--" Tom stopped midsentence before he smiled and continued--"Sorry, I'm getting off topic. Anyway, he said it was about time and hugged me. Together we thought it would be better that the ring stays at his house so Tina didn't find by accident."

"So, when's the wedding," someone ask.

"Well, we don't have a wedding day yet," Tina spoke up. "We haven't made any plans so far, but we decided to have the wedding in about a year a half. So, when we do actually have a date, we'll send out the RSVP's."

The women got together to talk more about the wedding plans, all them gushing, and some telling stories about their wedding. The guys congratulated Tom on his engagement and started asking/tease Tom on who his best man with be. He told them, that we haven't talked that far through, but his eyes were on me. I've know Tom since we were cubs, so I kind of figured I'd end up being his best man.

He was the first person I told I was gay and about my relationship about Ari. To think he's considering on having me be his best man, I felt honored.

There was some more talk about their engagement, and come jokes about how whipped Tom is. Everyone was having fun, especially Ari--that is until Tina asked, "Ari, when are you and Dan getting married?"

My tail froze and my heart stopped. I looked over to Ari, who's ears had dropped a bit. Shit . . . I got to think of something to say. "Oh um, soon hopefully," I laughed nervously. I tentatively wrapped my arm around Ari and pulled him close to me. I tried to look relaxed and calm with our friends' eyes on us, but inside my mind was going a hundred miles an hour. Why did she have to ask that?

Ari's eyes locked on me as I reached down and kissed his cheek. He smiled, but his eyes . . . in his eyes I could see how hurt he was. Because he believed deep down, I would never ask him to marry him. Why wouldn't he? We've has this same argument over and over again on many occasions. Each time I got more and more frustrated over that matter.

It would be the next big step for us, but didn't he know how much I love him? Isn't that enough? I just . . . the thought of marrying another man was still foreign to me--don't get me wrong, then we found out the gay marriage was legal now, I happy and proud for people like us.

After we found out, I did have . . .thoughts about marring Ari, even if it scared me to do so. I don't even know the idea scared me so much; I chalked it up to just irrational fear, that's all. Or maybe it was because of change in our relationship it would bring.

I hated that I have thoughts like these and I hated that something so that should be so simple but sure a strain in our relationship sometimes. Because I knew if I did propose, and Ari would say yes, and couldn't be any happier.

Some of our friends smiles fell a little when saw something was up between us. Ari was quick to change the subject by asked my Aunt how the cubs were doing this year. The conversation slowly picked up after that. You could see everybody was a little at ease because of us, but we assured everyone everything was fine, and started gathering people over to the dining table for dinner.

The adults are set up in the dinning room while the cubs had the family room so they can eat and watch a movie to keep themselves entertained. Ronnie was with the cubs to watch and supervise them in case something happened, and she was happy with that. Ari and I were at the end of the table, with each of our friends taking a seat around us. Mom and Dad were at the other side of the table, their plate already filled with food.

We got a lot of compliments on the food, and everybody was raving about Ronnie's ground beef casserole. It had a nice rich flavor, and was paired oddly enough with honey. Mike and Ronnie both being bears, I guess some stereotypes are true: they love their honey. Mike told me that even the cookies were made with a little bit of honey.

"Living up to the stereotypes, aren't we Ronnie?" Launa snickered.

"Of course," Ronnie yelled from the other room. "Still stinking up the place?"

The foxes grinned. Foxes are known to have a strong scent--what of which some people feel offended by--so it was kind of a running gag with our few fox friends. Each of our friends has bit of a stereo type about their species we like to tease them about, even Ari and I get teased. Ari, because he's a rabbit, well . . . let's just leave that one alone for now, the rumors are untrue by the way.

After dinner had gotten started and well started talking again, the air around Ari and I had lightened a bit. I could see the tension in his tall, soft ears when he looked at me, but he smiled and reached for my paw.

He mouthed, "I love you," to let me know that even though he's unset, that he still cares.

I smiled and said, "I love you too."

He squeezed my paw softly, interlocking our fingers. He brushed a clawed-thumb against my own.

Even though things have calmed down between us, but knew were still going to have the talk tonight after everyone has left, though neither of us were not looking forward to it.

Ari and I got to talking with our friends about what have been going on the past couple months, and one of our friends brought of the time I was dyed pink, two/three years ago. So, we told the story about how our young friend ermine friend, Chelsea, dyed my whole-body pink because of how much I make fun of her shortness.

Everybody laughed, and Ari groaned. "You guys have no idea how long to took me to completely clean his fur out."

"How come your ermine friend chose to dye you pink?" Tina interjected.

"I think it was right round breast cancer month when it happened, and also think it's was a little jab to me because I'm gay. Like, I'm gay, so I'm going to dye my fur pink and show everyone, type of deal."

"Anyway," Ari said. "It took me almost three days to wash it all out."

I smirked at my rabbit. "Yeah, I know. I swear I was missing patches of fur in places from you scrubbing so hard."

Ari giggled at that. "You might have, but don't worry your fur grew back."

"You were still interning at the law firm back them, know did they take it?" Jamie asked.

"I just said this was my way of supporting breast caner awareness. Some thought it was cute, even my boss wanted a picture with me. So, it was all good." I shrugged nonchalantly. My tail swished behind, and I couldn't help but smile as Ari went into a little more detail about how much of a pain, I was getting my fur scrubbed of the dye.

We laughed about it, and like that the tension between Ari and I seemed to melt away--at least somewhat. It was relieving to hearing my rabbit recall such an odd time in our relationship, and the extent he went through to de-pink me.

Time paced by quickly once we got to talking about the crazy things that have happened in our relationships--like me being pink. It wasn't until about eleven when all our friends and family began filing out afterward. The cubs were already passed out on couch, so it was time for the party to end. Mom and Dad offered to stay and help us clean up, but I said it was fine and that we'd see them tomorrow morning.

Ari and I went about cleaning up the dishes in silence for ten minutes, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I could only guess what was on his mind. And I was right when Ari said, "It's nice to hear that Tom and Tina are getting married."

I sighed, and put down the dish I was cleaning. My ears folded back. Here we go, I guess. "It is," I said, trying to keep a tone out of my voice.

"Dan . . . please . . ." he sighed. "Please talk to me."

I breathed in deeply and turned around and faced him. Ari had his back resting against the counter, but his eyes weren't on me. His gray-furred paws were folded in front of him, and I could see him faintly brushing his thumb against ringer finger. Of course, his ring finger . . .

He looked up at me; some emotion placed across his eyes and features. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead gave out a frustrated noise, and ran a paw against his ears, folding them back.

My chest squeezed. "Ari, tell me what's going on?" I asked, concerned.

He laughed dryly. "You know what."

I couldn't help but growl a little in my throat.

Ari looked up and glared at me.

"We've talked about this," I said calmly, trying to relax my body and emotions. But it was hard.

"Well, apparently not enough!" he growled. Now I could see the anger his eyes, and his scent began to tinge with anger. "God, how times have we had this conversation?!"

"Too many," slipped out.

"That's my own fucking point! God," he said. He began pacing back and forth in front of me, rubbings his fingertips against his temples. "Do you know it feels like every time we argue about this?! It makes me feel like I'm not good enough to be married too, like you don't love me enough to propose . . ."

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest, almost so that I thought was about to pass out. That was a low blow, and_god damn_ does it sting! "No know damn well that's not true!" I yelled. Fuck him for saying that! "You know I love you more than anything."

Ari stepped pacing and looked at me, his eyes were glassy and his ears were completely pinned back. "Than why don't you want to marry me . . . ?" he asked in a weak voice.

I frustratedly ran paw against the back of my head, digging my extended claws against my left ear, my tail lashing fiercely. "I just don't understand they we need to validate our love to others by getting married. I love you--you know that--isn't it enough?"

Now tears started streaking down his face. "No . . . no its not! I feel so . . . hurt. . .every time you turn me down. I can't for life of me figure out why you wouldn't marry the person you'd want to spend the rest of your life with . . . . I have had friends ask me when we're getting married, and I have to lie say we haven't talked about it yet."

"I . . ." I started to say before I took a deep breath and continued, "I'm sorry . . . I know how you feel about this."

His eyes locked onto me, and that anger was replaced with something much worse: grief and sadness. He was silent and a for a good minute or so, trying to formulate the words he wants to say.

I stood there silently, trying to calm these fierce emotions inside me. The silence was such a horrifying thing to wait through, because I was just unsure of what he was going to say. We've argued so many times about these, each time becoming more and more heated. And each time, we gave each other our space and tried to forget it happened at all. But it was hard when things--like tonight--just brought back that anger and frustration we felt. This through a wrench in our relationship.

To be honest, I don't know if we'll be able to get past it this time . . . .

And that, that was the most terrifying thing to me, more so then having to confront Ari's parents about this sexuality those years ago.

"Your sorry," Ari muttered to himself. "I'm so sick of you saying sorry, and giving me excuses. You mean the world to me"--he broke of mid-sentence to paw the back his paw against the fresh tears that stained his fur--"God, I'm sorry, but this is starting to became too much, hurts too much. I want a real answer right now, no more bullshit excuses! Say something?!"

My body filled with such exasperation and my mind felt foggy, and I blurted out, "Well maybe I'll propose to you Christmas Day morning." I quickly covered my muzzle with my paw, realizing what I just said.

Ari stared at me wide-eyed, his small body trembling. "How could you say thing like that . . .? Especially when you know it's untrue!" he cried out. He turned away from me, sobbing heavily until he walked out of the kitchen, headed for the door and started putting on his jacket.

I was frozen in place; my mind was completely blank and numb. _ Come on and fucking move!_ I screamed at myself until slowly, my mind cleared. I run toward the entrance door until the look Ari shot me, stopped me dead in my track.

Oh no, oh no, oh no, I repeated over and over in my head. "Ari wait, please! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it--" I started to say.

"Fuck you!" And with that Ari was out the door and into the cold air.

I sank to my knees and buried my face into my paws, unable to thing of anything else to do. I better give Ari some time to himself, I knew that was best. He'll calm down and come back; he usually does. At least, that's what I told myself.

I held my position for what felt like an eternity. I eventually got up and decided I better finish cleaning up the table and dishes while he's gone. Hopefully that it helps a bit once he returns, and he will come back.

It took me about ten minutes to completely clean up, and Ari still wasn't back. That worried me. I dug into my pocket for my phone and text him: I'm sorry, truly I am. Please, please come back home. Please.

With that I set my phone down and went upstairs and started bringing the presents down for the morning, clenching the small box meant for Ari in my paw. I waited another ten minutes until I couldn't wait any longer and called him, begging him to come home. But all I got was his voice mail. Shit. I was completely and utterly worried now. Ari has been outside in the cold weather too long. I called his phone a few more times, left more voice messages, becoming increasing apprehensive now.

It wasn't until eleven thirty that I finally gave up and head out for him. There was a playground that he liked to go to some-what near by whenever he wanted to be alone and have his thoughts to himself.

I stowed my phone back into my pocket, and up on my jacket and headed out into the fierce, windy night. I need find Ari . . .

I woke up with a start. My alarm blared loudly at eleven at night. My body was slow and sluggish. I haven't been able to eat or sleep well the last couple nights. My body just felt so weak and un-corruptive. Why would it? With all the good it's done for me . . . .

That member, like a distant dream, was still very fresh in my mind. Has been for awhile now. No matter how hard I tried to fight it or wanted to forget, my dreams haunted me every waking moment recently. It woke me up in the middle of the night, unrelenting. I was too afraid to go back to sleep sometimes, because I knew if I did. I'd have that dream again.

I wiped my paw against my tearstained fur. The tears stung my eyes, and I would shut them so tightly to make myself stop. It was too draining to cry anymore.

I sat there in my bed, staring into my folded paws until I looked at my clock and decided I need to get up. I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. My fur was soaked with sweat, and a shower was something I desperately needed for tonight. I had to look my best.

Warm water washed away the grim and grit from my body and fur. I took my time cleaning my fur, almost scrubbing my skin raw to wash out the stink from it. But it seemed no amount of shampoo and effort could get it out, and eventually I gave up all together.

Once I was finished, brushed and dressed. I head out into the bedroom and put on watch before resting my paw on a bottled of Southern t. I stared at the bottle before lifting the neck of the bottle to my lips and swallowed what was left on it. I would certainly need it for tonight. But that wasn't the only bottle of liquor in the room. Several beer bottles littered the room from the past two nights.

Before I left, I dug around the closet for something I had long buried in there, placing the small box in my pocket. I quickly checked myself in the mirror before heading downstairs. I headed down the dark, cold and empty hallway, the silence, like an invisible force, creeped across my body--filling me to the brim until silence painfully squeezed me.

With teach step I took downstairs, it caused my heart to pound harder and faster, like it was trying to burst from my chest.

A red light blinked on the voice machine, and I could guess who it was from, and I didn't want to listen to it. But all the same, I pressed the play button to get it over with. My mothers voice called out from the speaker: "Dan . . . oh sweetheart, please call me. I . . . I know this is a hard time for you; your father and I are here for you if you want to talk . . . if you need to talk. Please, I'm so sorry . . ."

But I couldn't talk to her, not right now. Hell, not for a while, it was hard too. I had to have a little more time to myself.

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut to keep from crying, and keep the panic inside me from taking hold. So, I stood there, breathing heavily, trembling. My legs felt like jelling, threating to buckle under me. I clenched my legs, digging my extended claws into my leg to keep my from falling.

I deleted and message before putting on my jacket. It wasn't until eleven thirty that I finally head out. My feet-paws crushed in the fresh snow that was falling tonight. The wind nipped at my dry nose and my fur. But I didn't care, I had somewhere to be.

As I walked out into the cold night, passing houses, I couldn't help but see families enjoying Christmas Eve late at night, gathered around their Christmas tree drinking and having fun with their loved ones.

I wish I could.

I walked past house after house until I turned onto a dimly lit road. The road led to a sectioned off playground for the neighborhood, and past that was a street that led off onto the main roads. The problem was that this stretch of road was poorly light, a lot of people were worried a accident would happen, especially with the sharp turn that was up ahead.

The close and closer I got to turn, the more it was harder from to walk because my body and mind were begging me to turn around and walk back home. Because it knew wait awaited at the end.

At the turn, I stopped at the roadside-memorial placed there. On it held a picture of a gray-furred rabbit and the name Arion 'Ari' Baxer.

My legs gave out under me and I crumbled to the snow-covered ground. It has been a year since Ari--my Ari--was killed in a hit and run drunk driving accident.

I'm sorry, oh God, I'm so sorry babe . . . ! The floodgates burst open, and I kneeled there sobbing my heart out. After so long of holding my emotions and tears back, I couldn't fight it anymore. It was like a pressure that had built quickly as it closer and closer to Christmas Eve . . .

The day I lost everything that mattered to me.

I wish I could go back in time and make things right, I wish I told him the truth . . . .

I dug into my pocket and placed the small box I dug for earlier--a box that held my engagement ring for Ari. I was going to propose to him on Christmas day--but I can't do that anymore! I fucked up--all because I let my anger get the best of me and fought with him about something I desperately wanted to do! But instead I hurt him and caused him to walk out that night. I should have gotten down on my knee and proposed to him then and there. But I wanted to wait until Christmas morning, make it special, and now I'll never get the chance.

I felt numb and empty, like I did when I found out he'd been killed in an accident. I hated myself for the longest time afterward. It was my fault for pushing him away like that, and I hated him too . . . if only he hadn't walk out on me, if he hadn't fought with me that night on marriage.

"You were the world to me," I sobbed. "You were meant to be with me for the rest of our days . . . Why did you have to leave me . . . ?"

He left me in the world all alone, and I don't know how to live without him! It was been so hurt facing each day without him. I'll never get to feel touch, his lips, his love. I'll never get to marry the man I love.

Every month it got closer the one-year anniversary of his death, I sank deeper and deeper into black whole--so much so that at one-point suicide felt like the only way out of the unimageable pain and suffering I felt.

And I came close, once. So very close I came to ending it all because living without my rabbit was unbearable. But deep down I knew, he wouldn't want that somehow, as if he was looking down at me from somewhere. I stayed alive for him, even though it was too much sometimes.

Another shuddering sob shook me to my core. Come on, you can live through this, I told myself over and over until the sobbing subsided into a quite whimper. After awhile the numbness began sinking in, seeming into my bones and mind. Everything felt hazy and muffled.

Snow started to cover me as I sat there in the winter chill for a couple minutes. The cold was starting to get to me, even my jacket was having a hard time keeping me warm. My tail wrapped around my waist to keep warm, my nose and paw pads chapped from the wind and my teeth chattered. But I didn't care.

I looked up toward the sky. "Ari," I called out. I didn't know if heaven or angels actually existed, but I chose to believe he was in a better place, I had too--It was the only thing that gave me comfort. "Ari, I'm sorry . . . please_¸ please_ come back. I still need you. God, I wish you were here." My voice croaked at the end. I don't know if someone out there could hear my plea, but it needed to be heard.

_ _ My watched beeped at twelve at night. Christmas Day.

I just closed my eyes and wait, praying someone or something out there answered my prayer.

Slowly, very slowly, a warmth washed over me--dimly at first until I could physically feel warm, like someone was wrapping their arms around me, breathing hotly against the back of my neck.

"Oh Dan," Ari's voice whispered against my ear.

I froze. I did actually hear that? I gingerly turned around until I was face to face with someone who looked just like my rabbit. "Ari?"

His body and those amber eyes of his glowed. The rabbit smiled and held me tightly.

I pressed my nose into his cheek and inhaled deeply. It was Ari, it had to be. He smelled so much like my rabbit. "Are you really here or am I just mad?"

"Dan . . . it's me, its really me," Ari said. He nodded, tears trickling down his cheeks. Out of instant I brushed his tears away with my thumb.

It truly was my Ari. Another sob broke out and I tackled Ari, hold him tightly. "I'm sorry Ari, God, I miss you so much. I'm sorry . . ." I repeated over and over, willing him to forgive me. He had to forgive me; I don't know what to do if he didn't.

Ari bent down and kissed my forehead, resting his hot cheek against my head. "I know . . . Dan, I know. I miss you too, more than anything." He reached down and kissed me, pressing his lips against mine with fervent passion.

I didn't know what to other than return to kiss. I clung tightly to him, slipping my tongue passed his lips and into his muzzle. Because doing anything else at this point seemed painful.

We parted eventually, panting heavily in the snow-filled air. Our eyes looked together, and I could see the sadness in them.

"How . . . how are you here?" I asked, searching his gaze for an answer.

Ari gave out a breathless laugh. "To be honest, I don't know if this was your wish or mine, but we've been given a short amount of time together. Ever since I . . . died, I've been watching over you up there. Dan, I wish I could take your pain away, I really do."

I just smiled, wiping away my tears. I was just so over joyed right now. "It's ok, I'm just glad I can see you ag--" I stopped mid-sentence and thought about what Ari had just said. "What do you mean, 'a short amount of time'?"

Ari sighed. He looked so resigned. "Sweetheart . . . we have until twelve o clock the next day to spend time together. After that I--I have to go back."

Instantly I was filled with panic. "What? No . . . no, no no. You have to stay! I don't know if I survive losing you again." Ari smiled down at me, but there was no joy in it, only sadness. "I want to, believe me I want too. But I can't. Dan, I'm dead, I can't stay."

"Take my life than, you deserve it more than I do." I said. I would gladly take his place in a heartbeat.

Fresh tears streamed down Ari's face. "Dan . . . no . . . . I could never do that to you," he sniffled.

I grabbed his arms and stared him directly in the eye. "I don't care. Your life is more important than mine, as long as you were still alive." I was dead serious.

A shudder rocked his body. "I want more than anything to be here with you, but I can't. It's just how this works. Let's just spend what time we have together."

"But," I cried. "I love you so much . . . I still need you."

Ari pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back. "Shhh," he whispered. "It's going to be okay . . . Please, be with me until the end. That's all I ask. You are the love of my love, and nothing would be a greatest Christmas present than to spend one more time with you."

I whined, but nodded. Deep down I knew he was right. I helped Ari stand up, before a thought stroke me. I kneeled down on one knee before him and held up the ring for him. "Arion Baxer . . . will you marry me?" If this was the last time, I got to spend time with him, I wanted to do something I should have done a long time ago.

Ari stared down on at me, wide-eyed.

I waited for his answer. Each second that ticked by was painful for me to bare. I was beginning to worry he was going to say no until he got down to his knees as well. His paws came up to encompass my mine. "Of course, . . . how could I not? You're mine, forever. Even in death, I'll love you to the very end. I will always watch over you in spirit, and in your heart. My sweet, handsome man, yes. Forever more, yes."

It felt like my heart was about to burst. I placed the ring on his finger and kissed his lips. "Thank you so much. I promise to love you even in afterlife, when we will meet each other again."

Ari stood up and held out his paw for me. I took it graciously and pulled myself up. I gave him one more kiss before saying, "Let's go home."

And together we walked back home, arm in arm. Our paws were clasped together, and couldn't have been more overjoyed. But at the same time, I was terrified. Because after twelve tomorrow, I would lose him all over again.

I rested my head on Ari's shoulder. "Merry Christmas, Ari," I said, enjoying the warmth of his body again.

He squeezed his paw. "Merry Christmas, Dan."

At least, at least I got to spend one more Christmas with him. I'd get to say One. Last. Goodbye.