Do Dogs Dance?
A lonely, but talented, boy ballet dancer makes some new friends that change his life for the bette
As a boy I always stood out from the other kids. Don't get me wrong. I loved being a boy, but I had what most people would consider more girlish interests. I loved pink and took ballet. I even often played with what might be considered more traditional girls toys. My parents were very open-minded and encouraged me to express myself.
Looking back, I'm not sure this was altogether the best approach for me. My parents allowed me to follow my interests, which I was happy about, but it had the drawback that those interests ended up with the other boys ostracizing me.
I tried to make friends with my Elementary school classmates, but inevitably once they found out about my interests they would stop talking to me. I only ever had a few friends, and most of them were girls from ballet class.
Since I spent most of my time around girls, it was only natural that I would begin to take on girly interests and mannerisms. I wanted to fit in, so I started watching the same shows they did and listening to the same music. I began to look forward to ballet class, as it was the only place I really felt like I belonged.
I would often spend most of my time outside of school by myself. I developed a very active imagination, creating scenarios for my action figures and dolls that became increasingly more bizarre. This only served to make the other kids treat me like I was some kind of pariah and avoid me like the plague.
I managed to make it through elementary school without too much problem. My grades weren't great, but I passed all my subjects. I kept up with my ballet classes as they were a great way to burn off my excess energy, and the only time I got too see what few friends I had.
Middle school was much the same. I kept to myself mostly, and studied hard to bring up my grades. My school had a ballet club, which I eagerly joined. We put on several shows throughout the year. Still I was the only boy in the club, which ensured me great roles in the dances, but left me feeling isolated.
My parents started to become quite concerned about my mental well-being. In an effort to give me a semblance of a normal life, they got me a puppy. It was a beautiful yellow lab. I named him after one of my favorite dancers, Mikhail Baryshnikov, or Barry for short. I instantly bonded with him and we went everywhere together. It was great to have a companion that would never leave me and didn't judge me for being who I was.
Barry filled a hole in my life, and my mood improved dramatically. My outlook on life and grades improved remarkably. For once, I started to enjoy getting up in the morning. I'm not sure what would have happened had I not gotten him, but I'm sure my life would have turned out very differently.
High school was like a new world to me. I decided to go to a performing arts high school, as ballet was the only thing I really had a passion for. There I could hone my dancing and maybe pursue a career as a professional. I was amazed on the first day of school to find that the classes were more evenly split between boys and girls. Some even had more boys!
All of the performing arts classes were in a separate building, and we all tended to hangout together. I quickly came to realize that all of them, like me, were what would be considered weird to the "normal" kids. It was like heaven to me to find other boys who were interested in the same things I was. I quickly made friends with several of them. We hung out together after school as much as we could.
I became best friends with one boy named Noah, who was in most of my classes. We would often get together on the weekends and spend long hours practicing our dance moves. He would always compliment me on how graceful I was, and how good I looked in my tights and leotard.
It took me a while to pick up on it but he was clearly flirting with me. I hadn't spent much time with other kids, so I hadn't really thought much about my sexuality. I had to admit that I did feel something for him.
Could I be gay? I wasn't sure, but we were both still young. We didn't have to make any decisions right away. While we didn't official call ourselves a couple yet, but we might as well have been. Most days we were inseparable, we even went on vacation together, and danced together for many of the class projects.
Over the course of our high school careers we became very proficient dancers and found we complimented each other quite well. Sure we still danced with the girls, but we picked projects that would let us perform with each other whenever we could.
For our graduation project, we were required to create and perform a project with a small group of friends. Of course I worked with Noah. We brainstormed for some time before we finally came up with the perfect idea.
We both loved the musical Cats, so we decided to do a show called Dogs. It was an odd story with us being dogs and having to have to dance to convince people to adopt us from the pound and get out of various absurd situations. It was hilarious. I was sure we would have no problem getting good grades on it.
The costumes were amazing. They were full body suits that were form fitting so they didn't interfere with our dancing. They were patterned to look like real dogs with tails and hoods. I couldn't believe how realistic they looked. The only problem was they were fairly thin, and we didn't wear much underneath. The auditorium could be fairly chilly. Still that wasn't really that bad, as we tended to get hot dancing.
Most of the rehearsals we did in our standard dance outfits, but we did practice a few times in our costumes. They were kind of revealing (not that the tights and leotard weren't) and I loved the way he looked as a dog.
I had never worked so hard on, or enjoyed anything more in my life, than that performance. We were in the zone during the performance. There were, as always, a few minor hick ups, but Noah was able to work with them as if we meant to do it that way. Overall, I didn't see how it could have gone better.
I was excited when I got my final grades and found we had scored high enough to ensure admission and scholarships to the colleges of our choice. Noah and I spent the rest of the weekend celebrating at his house.
Once we were in his room, he showed me the pictures his parents had taken of the show. I was amazed at how good I looked in the costume. It was the first time I had really gotten to see myself in it from the outside. I jokingly told him that I was sure I could pass for a real dog. Noah laughed and said he'd like to see that.
I'm not sure what prompted me to do it, but I got down on all fours and started barking at him. He called me a good boy and patted me on the head, sending a wave of pleasure down me.
We played around like that for a little while longer, and then we went to bed. While we were sleeping, I started to dream about running free with him and being his loyal pet dog. I had never had a dream like this before, but somehow it just felt right.
I was really starting to enjoy myself, running around the field, barking, feeling the wind in my fur, and loving it when Noah would stop and pet me. I could almost believe I was really a dog and was feeling great when Noah's alarm went off, rudely interrupting the dream.
I glanced at Noah and he looked over at me and smiled while fumbling for the alarm. His smile made me feel warm inside. He apologized for forgetting the alarm, and we chatted for a few minuets while we fully woke up.
We got up, threw on some boxers and t-shirts and made our way to the kitchen for breakfast. We found a note on the table from his parents saying they had to go out and we would be on our own for whole afternoon.
We joked about making pancakes for breakfast, but considering what happened last time he tried to cook- I believe it involved the fire department and a trip to the hospital. Noah always looked embarrassed and was a little vague when I asked for more details. So we decided that cereal might be a better idea.
After we finished eating we tossed out bowls into the sink and made our way back to his room. After a few fruitless rounds of asking each other what we wanted to do, we decided to watch some tv.
While we were watching, my eyes kept being drawn to the dog costume I had worn the night before. We had casually tossed it onto a chair when we got in. I resisted for a few minuets, but finally found myself drawn to it.
I walked over to the bed, and stripped off my clothes. Grabbing the costume, I quickly pulled it on and dropped to all fours before I could think better of it. I crawled over to the side of the bed where Noah was and Barked at him.
Noah reached down and stroked me, calling me a good boy. I loved the way it felt. Thanks to the thinness of the material, I could feel everything. It was almost like he was petting my bare back.
We spent the rest of the day with me in the costume taking on the role of his faithful dog. I don't think Noah had ever had a dog, but he knew all of the commands and did a wonderful job in the role of master. I enjoyed every second of it, and wished it could last forever.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. It was getting late and his parents would be home soon, so we made our way back to his room so I could change. Noah helped me out of the costume, and I stood in front of him naked for a moment or two before putting my clothes back on.
We had just finished putting the costume away when his parents came through the door. They asked how our day was, and we exchanged knowing glances and just sort of shrugged.
We had a great time the rest of the weekend, but weren't able to find the alone time to play as dog and master again. I was sad when it was time to leave, but we had made plans to get together so it didn't take too long to get over it.
When I got home, I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my dog. We had been through so much together and I had bonded with him on a very deep emotional level. He had been practically my only friend for years.
Was this connection with him what made me want to be Noah's dog? I had never really had this close a friend before, so maybe this was the only way I knew how to behave as a friend- like my best friend did with me. Seemed plausible.
I spent the rest of the evening playing on all fours with Barry. He loved the interaction and I started to feel even closer to him than I had before. I really started to envy him and his life. Being a dog seemed so easy. There was only Love and loyalty. No judgment or pettiness. I decided this was the way I wanted to be.
I spent the next few days watching Barry, and copying the way he reacted and behaved. Next time I saw Noah I wanted to be the best dog for him I could. I even managed to visit the local pet store and get myself a nice collar, toys, and bowls so that I could play the part right.
Whenever my parents would leave for work, I would strip off my clothes and put on the collar and spend the day with Barry. I think he somehow understood what was going on and tried to teach me how to be a dog. I eagerly absorbed everything he tried to teach me.
By the end of the next week, I felt like I had learned everything there was to know about being a dog. I had gotten so into the role, I had to keep reminding myself that I was human around my parents lest I slip into more canine behaviors. I'm sure my parents noticed something was different about me, but they didn't say anything.
When the time finally came for me to see Noah again, I could barely contain my excitement. I threw a spare change of clothes into my bag along with all the dog supplies I had collected. This time we would be spending the better part of a week together, so I knew we would have plenty of time to ourselves.
The week flew by. I don't remember being on two feet or dressed more than maybe half an hour the whole time I was there. I thought I was well versed in the ways of canine behavior, but Noah tested me in ways I had never thought of.
We even snuck into the local dog park in the middle of the night. We would spend hours playing just like a real dog and his master. I don't know what was more thrilling to me- the feeling of freedom being a dog gave me, or the fear of being caught. Whatever it was, I had never felt more alive.
I spent as much time as Noah's dog as I could that summer. As the summer went on, I could feel the very real presence of a second persona forming in my mind. It became easier and easier to slip into the dogs mindset each time, and harder and harder to return to my human self. I enjoyed it more than anything I had experienced, but it scared me at the same time.
When it came time to finally go off to college, I was happy to find out that we had been given a full ride. It even included an apartment for the two of us. We wouldn't have to worry about paying for anything as long as we kept our grades up.
We both majored in dance, and while there were some core courses to cover, most of our time was spent learning and improvising new moves and routines. I took a few different styles of dance, but kept coming back to my love of Ballet. Noah on the other had, took some acting classes. He was a natural performer. He had a stage presence that most actors could only dream of.
By the end of the first year we had honed our skills to levels I wouldn't have thought possible when we left high school. We seemed to feed off each other, pushing ourselves to do more.
I had hoped that we could spend our summer relaxing together, but it was not to be. Noah had found a ballet theater that was looking for performers for its summer series. He wanted to update the show we did in high school. He was sure it would be a big hit. I never could say no to him, so I agreed.
I didn't hear anything more about it for a few weeks. I thought maybe Noah had dropped the idea. I couldn't have been more wrong. I was still in bed one morning when I got a call on my cell. It was Noah, and he wanted me to meet him at the rehearsal hall.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and told him I would be there in half an hour. The estimate was maybe a bit optimistic. It was actually closer to an hour when I finally got there.
Noah met me in the parking lot. He was clearly excited. He started talking about how he had mentioned our plans to some of his theater friends, and how they had agreed to help with some of the behind the scenes details. Apparently they had agreed to help with costumes and scenery. He had even found someone to help update the music we had used.
I couldn't believe it when I walked into the hall. Everything looked fantastic. It was the same setting as before, but with so much more detail. Everything looked real and alive.
Noah showed me the costumes. They looked so lifelike. They had taken the originals to the next level. They had been realistic, but were not very durable. These looked like you could live in them. After a fairly invasive fitting process, I looked and felt just like a real dog while wearing one.
It was a whole new experience rehearsing. The costume moved like a second skin, and we incorporated many of the new moves we had worked on over the last year. My experience as Noah's dog let me slip into the role so naturally you would think I really was a dog when I was on stage.
We also had a whole crew to help us with lighting, sound, and staging. I wondered what Noah had to promise them to get their help. Whatever it was, I was well worth it.
I couldn't believe how professional everything looked when we were reviewing the tapes. We picked the best cuts, and submitted them to the theater. It wasn't long before we got word back that we had been accepted. We would be performing two shows every weekday for the next couple of weeks, and a show on Saturdays.
It was a grueling schedule. We hardly had time for anything that wasn't show related. I spent almost all my time in the costume. I started to think of it as my normal appearance, and started to feel weird when I wasn't wearing it. Most nights I even slept in it. Fortunately there were provisions built in to allow me to take care of my basic needs.
After one performance, I found out that a professional theater reviewer had been in the audience. He had loved the show. He offered us a lucrative contract to perform it professionally on the spot. Even if we only performed the show a few times we would be set for life. We only had to discuss it for a few minutes before we decided to accept.
Fast forward to a few years later. The show has gone on to be more successful than anyone could have imagined. We do several sold out shows a day, and have legions of adoring fans. Who would have thought that two "weird" kids from a small town could make it big.
I have grown so used to performing as a dog, that I now basically live as one. It suits me much better than trying to be human ever did. I have reached the point where the canine aspect of my mind has control most of the time, but my human persona sits just under the surface ready to reassert itself whenever the need arises.
Noah has essentially adopted Barry and I as his pets. I even had the fasteners on the costume sewn shut so that it can never be removed without a lot of effort. Unless you look very carefully, you wouldn't be able to tell I was anything but a normal animal.
Also, it's great fun to listen to all the speculation about what species I really am. Some say Human, others say dog. Some have even said I am some kind of hybrid or an alien. Noah and I get a real kick out of listening to them.
Maybe in the future there will be a way for me to fully transition and become the dog I feel I was meant to be, but for now this is the perfect life. Noah and I are closer than we ever could have been as humans. There is something transcendent about the human dog bond that can't be beat.