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Zootopia

DIRTY HAIRY By Dan 1966

Loosely based off of Clint Eastwood's Harry Callahan.

(c) Zootopia. 2016 Walt Disney Productions (c) Dirty Harry 1971 Malpaso Productions (c) Fritz the Cat 1970 Ralph Bakshe

All rights respected. Not for monetary gain and none expected. Fandom enjoyment only.

Rated R for violence, swearing, graphic depictions of death and sex.

Who's killing animals across the city of Zootopia, leaving many half eaten in their cars? To get down in the dirt, you need a cop who skirts the line between legality and criminal-ism. That's when you call in homicide inspector Fritz Catz aka "Dirty Hairy". He's Gentile and likable when he's in the Precinct house but a complete bastard out on the streets who packs a howitzer for a gun. When the offender has to be absolutely stopped overnight...Fritz is the cat for the job.

PART 10

1:37am Day 3 Tundra Town main traffic gate

Fritz got out of his car with the other detectives and met up with the Commander of Zootopia's "Tac-arms" unit. The Tactical Arms unit was SWAT on steroids, a group of mean and tough wild bores armed with heavier weapons, heavier body armor and a mean disposition.

"Tac-arms" took on big threats like the two Cobras now trying to escape back down the steam supply servicing conduits out of Tundra Town. Fritz met with their Chief, a long tusk bore who looked like he'd been hit a few times with a maul and chisel. "Grunty" as he was known had been in more than his share of "maw to maw" knife fights with nasty suspects.

"Morning Fritz." Grunty said with a snorty sounding voice. "I have a pair of teams sweeping up the conduits from the South but these creeps have a hundred or so places they can come out of after they get under the wall so we'll be lucky to make contact."

"My partner is going to have a little talk with the Leopard who tried to drive "smack" through the check point...see if he can give us some light. We think he was a diversion tactic." Fritz said as he saw David pushing the Leopard into a police "paddy wagon" and closed the door behind him.

The Leopard might have been a little bigger than David but you're not so big when you're in cuffs and another cat knows your soft spot. The leopard screeched as David clamped his maw on an ear and jerked it hard!

"REEEEEEOOWWWW!....STOP MAN! STOP!" The Leopard cried. David pushed him hard on his head and smirked. "You Leopards make us speed cats look stupid. So typical of you spotted fakes."

"Hey....fruck you milk puke!" The Leopard yelped. "No good house cat."

David snatched the Leopard's cuffs and jacked his arms up behind his back. "Who has the cuffs and who's who's the sand box again? Stupid gitch?" David snorted. "How about you get some brains for once there counterfeit kitty and tell me who your handler is? Who told your dumb butt to run through a check point?"

The Leopard cried...."I Don't know man! I was contracted by my local dealer! I swear!"

David slapped his "claws out" paw up between the Leopard's legs and snatched at his privates! "You better start talking you piece of cat sand pebble or I swear I will rip your "kittens" from your body and shove em down your throat! Talk you worthless cat!" "DAVID!" Fritz screamed from the back of the police wagon..."THAT'S ENOUGH!"

David let the Leopard go and gave him a smack in the snoot...."Worthless piece of snit fake Cheetah bastard."

Fritz smacked David off the top of his head...a false display of course to gain the Leopard's trust...."You wait outside Mister! There's regulations against prisoner abuse!"

David spat at the Leopard's feet...."That's all your worth you spotted fake!"

Fritz helped the Leopard to sit on the bench inside the wagon and rubbed his shoulders...."Are you alright?" He asked the sobbing cat...

"I don't know who hired me man....I swear I don't. I was just told by my local contact to take the smack to Tundra Town. He warned me to get it through or he'd cut my hide off" The Leopard begged. "Don't let that little flucker hurt me again please?"

"I'll take care of him, I promise." Fritz replied. "What do you know? Who's your handler?"

"His names Strader...Lyle Strader. He owns this small dig called "N'Counters" in Savanna Central. He's a badger with a bad attitude man." The Leopard said as Fritz loosened the grip of the cuffs on the shivering cat and offered a blanket....

"You alright? You need anything to drink?" Fritz asked caringly.

"No...I'm good." The Leopard replied.

Fritz climbed out of the wagon and met David as he walked up with a note pad. "Grunty's bores made it to the wall...no sign of the two snakes but there's a lot of blood. You must have made a mess of the larger one."

"Doubtful." Fritz replied. "Snakes have multiple organs but he's probably a little slower." Fritz showed David his note book. "The leopard gave me this..Lyle Strader at the N'Counters bar in Savanna. You sure had that Leopard shaking."

"If I didn't get a little "Mammalist" on him, he wouldn't have talked to me or you. Our species are bad blood relatives. I learned more from getting into fights with Leopards in school than I did on patrol...trust me." David said as he looked at his watch..."Do you think we have time to catch this Strader at N'Counters? It closes at 3 am so we might catch him closing up."

"Let's at least try." Fritz replied. He turned to Mike and Kirk..."We're going to check out a lead before we go off for a while! You two good?! He shouted.

"Fine!" Mike replied with a paw wave. "We got things here for now!"

Fritz and David pulled way from the Tundra Town gate and drove onto the highway towards Savanna Central...

"Don't mind me saying?" David said as he re-arranged the loads in his shot gun. "I think I made some "Yellow" fractals in the snow back there. Damn that thing was huge."

"Yeah." Fritz replied. "Had it been anywhere else in the city? We'd be in deep snot. Not the biggest Mammal I've ever tangled with on a case."

"Elephant?" David asked.

"Nope." Fritz replied. "Whale."

"What?" David snorted. "Oh cow chips."

"No....really." Fritz said. "An honest bonifide Moby Dick. He was a sea going enforcer for Whitey Badger protecting a run of "Sugar Smack" out of rain forest to South Saharra Square. Rammed a coastal patrol boat and by his bad luck he killed an otter cop. Chased him down in a rigid speed rig, road his back by holding onto a rope. He almost took me under twice....didn't do it a third time."

David frowned his brow. "You killed him?"

"Nope..." Fritz replied. "Shot a load of red hot chili pepper into his blow hole. You can't swim very good when you're gacking and coughing."

David pursed his lips..."So all these stories about you being "Overly lethal" with the Magnum are?..."

"Stories created by my rivals to discredit me." Fritz snickered. "I've very rarely had to shoot my cannon with lethal loads but this big cobra demands it has "special attention". One thing for sure? These snakes are definitely under someone's contract and I don't think it's from any of the syndicates currently in the city. Hopefully they will all continue to behave and not make any more stupid work of us so we take whom ever is behind this mess down and down soon."

2:33am Day 3 The N'Counters bar. Closing time Savanna Central

The well dressed Hyena with his escort came out of the N'Counters passing by a young Cheetah who stood texting someone before moving towards the car the Hyena was going to get into...

"Thanks for the wonderful evening Mister Strader, you club rocks!" The Cheetah said happily waving.

The Hyenna regarded the young Cheetah. "I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself tonight." Strader replied....and just as quickly someone ran up to push a Magnum in his snoot...

"Thank you for the positive I.D. dirtbag." Fritz snarled as he pointed to Strader's escort. David quickly moved to kick the feet out from the wild dog and pushed him onto the ground where he quickly cuffed him...

"So what's your first name there Strader?" Fritz asked as he rifled through the Heyna's dress coat for a wallet. "Oh?....Waldo? Get this David? Mister high roller mutt here is....."Waldo:".

David laughed..."What doof names a dog...Waldo?"

"Who are you bastards? Cops?" Strader snarled.

"Yeah..." Fritz replied. "We're cops, cats and you're a dirt bag sand eating dog so what's that to do with tea and china...moron?" Fritz whipped Strader around after cuffing him...."Waldo? Damn....did your parents hate you? Waldo...you're under arrest for shipping "Smack", attempted murder, murder, assault on police officers, attempted murder of police officers.....need I continue the list there pup?"

Strader snapped..."I don't know what you cops want but my lawyer will sue the pants off of you for Mammalist insults!"

"Spare me your "PC" jargons there dirt bag." Fritz replied. "We have your driver in custody. Not a very bright guy considering he's a leopard who tried to run "Smack" across a guarded road block and you put him up to doing it. What we want to know from you Strader, and we don't think you're a dumb mammal at all, is who was your handler? Who put you up to sending this poor guy as a decoy so a hit could be done on the Shrew bosses? Who paid you the big bucks?"

"As if I would tell you anything?" Strader snorted back. "I don't know who it was? I thought the order for delivery came from one of the polar bears in Tundra Town, that was the address I got for the drop. I didn't know you cops would block the entrance gate?"

"What's your bank?" Fritz asked.

"As if you'll get anything out of asking?" Strader replied. "The transfer was probably done by encryption, the bank couldn't help you if it tried. What I can tell you is that the guy on the other end of the line was a feline, no doubt, any dog could tell you it was a cat at the other end."

"You're sure?" Fritz asked.

"Yes..." Strader replied.

Fritz turned to David..."Read him his rights. I'm going to call headquarters and get a warrant on the bank set up for tomorrow morning."

Fritz ran back to his car and snatched up the radio mic..."Headquarters, Inspector 71 Homicide calling."

"First Precinct, Desk Sargent Roofus here Inspector." The radio cracked back.

"I have need of a search warrant draft prepared for the following...." Fritz said. Suddenly a series of cracks and multiple bangs from a pistol went off behind his back!

"HOLD TRANSMISSION! SHOTS FIRED AT MY LOCATION!" Fritz yelled as he broke from his car and sprinted to Strader's car with his Magnum drawn...."DAVID! DAVID!"

The Cheetah was down on his back holding his left thigh while Strader lay motionless a few feet away....

"UGH! He got me in the leg the......ugh! This fricken hurts!" David screetched as he gripped Fritz's jacket...."Oh you fricken.....ugh!"

"What the hell David?!" Fritz snapped as he pulled his tie off his neck. "He was in cuffs!"

"The bastard pulled a derringer from his belt and shot me in the leg Fritz...I'm sorry....I'm sorry, I unloaded on the bastard." David screeched a low meow... "Ugh, those little guns fricken hurt!"

"Don't worry about it!" Fritz said. "You were defending yourself...dumb Tail hole wiping douche....here...hold this tight while I call for back up!" Fritz ran for his car and snatched up the hand mic....

"OFFICER DOWN! OFFICER DOWN! Savana Central in Sousten. Suspect is dead! Send back up and EMT to my location at Royal and Fair streets!" Fritz ran back to the scene, secured the other suspect then sat beside David holding his hand...

"I hope it didn't cut an artery...." David said. "First time I've ever been shot and man does it suck ass. So stupid of me to take my eyes off that jerk."

"Don't torture yourself David." Fritz said as he held the Cheetah's hand. "You're not bleeding too bad so the bullet must be shallow. Derringers are suck ass guns anyway, only good for drunk mice at soccer parties."

end of part 10