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The first solar shift began with a single pure tone, piped over the intercom. Almost as one, my brothers and I stopped in our travels and turned our heads skyward. The great shields--massive constructions of steel and lead and carbon--slid silently over each other, and through the cracks that formed came harsh sunlight. I closed my eyes and let it bathe my face. Three, four, five seconds, and my pelt warmed pleasantly. Nine, ten, eleven seconds, and I could feel the warmth seeping through my robes. Eighteen, nineteen, twenty... I felt my nose dry and the blinding radiance of the sun shone brilliant yellow even through my eyelids. Twenty-five, twenty-six, and my breath came short. My muzzle felt burnt from the direct exposure, and I began to feel light-headed. Thirty seconds, and the shields slid closed, leaving the Illuminated Brotherhood of Proxima Solaris recovering from the onslaught.

I reached out for Kairi, and she was there. I felt her push her head up under my fingers, and her tongue licked my palm. Somewhere above, a senior brother started to read the day's blessings. I paid them lip service, moving my mouth along with the foreign words by rote. Then it was over. The day had begun.

_Come on Alek, you'll be late. Again._Kairi nipped at my fingers as her voice floated through my head. She flipped her tail teasingly and loped ahead. I followed best as I was able, weaving in between my brothers and their familiars. I was still a little light-headed from the direct light of our three suns. It was only the first of three solar shifts during the day, and all together they were below the tolerance of ten percent of a lethal daily radiation exposure. Technically, I was safe. The shifts always left me light-headed, though. Brother Ashe said it was because I was a weak worshiper, and if I spent more effort working and worshiping their glory, I wouldn't feel so exhausted. He was the chapel-master and keeper of the faith, so I knew that in theory his word was infallible. In practice, he was full of bullshit.

It wasn't going to be a good day. I had scrubber duty today--cleaning the plasma scoops that siphoned precious matter from the sun. It was the 'Holy essence' that 'brought life to the glorious engines of our divine mandate'. In reality, it was stray helium and hydrogen spewed from the corona, caught by dirty, pock-marked funnels. I think the holy words were just there to make a drudging chore less menial. It didn't really work. For all its 'holy purpose', I was just dragging scrubber robots over the colossal scoops. Again. Supposedly, everyone shared in the work. Even the Grand Precept himself was supposed to scrub the scoops as often as lowly worshipers like me. Not that it'd ever happened like that--I pulled scrubber duty at least once a week, along with spools (cleaning the intakes of the giant factory) and stock (cleaning the hoses for the proto-matter inputs). Seeing a trend here?

Stop whining. You know there's brothers who have it worse.

"Listening in on my thoughts again?" I scowled down at Kairi. She was loping at my side as I scurried up towards my duty.

Always. Anyway, we're both in the same boat here--I don't like scrubbers any more than you do, and at least you've got hands. I have to pick them up in my mouth.

I couldn't argue with that. Whereas I was safe within my little booth controlling the bots, Kairi had to go down into the scoops themselves and free debris for the scrubbers to catch. She was built for it, of course. She may have looked like a dog--long of limb and curled tail--but she'd been built to be my perfect companion. She complimented me in my work, able to tread where my weak body would fail, and strong as a hundred regular worshipers like me. I'd be lost without her.

And I, you. Don't get all gloomy on me again, Alek. Remember, I chose you, and I wouldn't hesitate to do so again.

I felt a hot flush climb, and I pulled the hood of my robe over my face to hide my embarrassment. I'd never understood what she saw in me--but the fact that she saw it at all filled me with such a sense of belonging that all the quibbles and complaints of a day of menial labor melted in the sunlight of her love.

Aw, you're cute when you're all flustered. Just wait 'till later, when we're all alone with the scrubs, and you and I can--Watch out!

I was so distracted that I collided bodily with a brother. He must have been slight of build, because while I simply stumbled from the impact, he was catapulted off of his feet. Immediately, I rushed to his aid. He glared at me as I held my hand down for him. His robes were purple--which meant he was at least two ranks above me. He refused my hand, and his familiar scampered to his aid, growling at me. He grabbed the pelt at his familiar's neck and used it to pull himself up, then stood shakily to his feet.

"Of all the... Watch where you're going!" His voice sounded strange. I bowed my head in submissive reverence. With his rank, he was 'right' to be speaking with me in such a tone. I silently cursed him. I bowed my head and shrunk my shoulders. He had paused, probably to determine my pennance. Dammit. I'd probably be sweeping to the airlocks for days--the most tedious job an acolyte like me could be assigned to.

"I'm sorry sir, I-"

"Never mind." He interrupted. I kept my eyes down, careful to avoid challenging him with eye contact. Instead, my eyes dragged over his familiar. It wasn't polite to even acknowledge the presence of someone's familiar, so instead I tried to unfocus my gaze.

_What the... Look at his familiar!_Kairi sent to me as she pressed herself to my side.

My eyes flicked almost instinctively to the wolf-like dog standing at the brother's side, but custom dragged my gaze back down almost immediately. The relationship between a brother and his familiar was private--it wasn't to be looked at, or investigated, or even acknowledged. To do so was wrong--even wrong to me. I buried my fingers in her pelt and averted my gaze. Are you joking? That's rude, and the brother already has reason to be angry with me.

_Stop being stupid. You know I'd never get you in trouble. Now open your eyes and look!_She was frantic, and her tail tapped the back of my thigh.

So I looked. Yep, it was a familiar alright. Tan pelt, rangy canid features, smart eyes, sharp ears, just like Kairi. I quickly unfocused my eyes and looked away. It felt wrong, even though no one would have noticed.

Kairi, it's someone else's familiar. I can't just look-

She found my hand and bit. It was enough of a sting to make me jump.Now you're being oblivious. Look! Between his legs!

I formulated a harsh response, which died on my proverbial tongue as I parsed what she'd just said. 'His'? So I lifted my eyes just a bit and looked.

The brother's familiar was, without a doubt, a 'him.' How much clearer could it be, when a sheath hang plumply between his hindlegs? He made no effort to hide it. But if the familiar was a he, that would make the brother-

I looked up at her so sharply that I felt my neck complain. Now that I looked, I could see it. Under the cowl of her robe, I could see her feminine features clearly. A muzzle that was sharper and curved a bit more. Eyes that were slightly more almond-shaped, and no bump at her throat of adam's apple. She dropped the 'angry brother' act and looked at me with a slight smile. She put her fingers to her lips, made a slight 'shush'ing sound.

"You're-"

"Shh!" She motioned again. "Don't tell anyone."

My familiar seemed as stunned as I was. But... But it's forbidden for a sister to leave their precincts. How? We're not even close, here!

I looked around to see if anyone else had witnessed what I'd just seen, but I was alone. All of my other brothers were off to their daily tasks--as I should have been--so I was left wondering if I'd just seen an overly elaborate vision, or if I'd really seen one of the sisters.

_If you're dreaming it, then so was I! I see her too, and her familiar. They shouldn't be here! We should report them!_Kairi insisted, muzzle pressing against my thigh urgently.

Images of heroism floated through my mind, quashed in a nanosecond by doubt. I could barely believe my own eyes, why should anyone else believe them? This type of thing just didn't happen, and at my best, I was only relatively trustworthy.

"What-why?" All of the questions I had in mind tumbled out of my mouth simultaneously, forming an incomprehensible glurge of sound.

From beneath her concealing hood, the sister winked. "Because I can."

"How can you do that--without getting caught?"

"Because everyone thinks I can't."

I was stymied. Even Kairi seemed at a loss for words, and she was always chattering in my mind.

There were things I wanted to say--things I wanted to ask. Here was the rebel--the unbeliever--and here was me wondering what to do. It was a test of faith, a trial. Surely the brotherhood was watching. Surely they were judging my every move, my every action. I felt the weight of generations of tradition and faith bearing down upon me, and I opened my mouth to proudly repudiate her, and said-

"What's it like?"

That isn't really what I'd meant to say, but it's what I really wanted to know.

Have you lost it? This is a sister! You're not allowed to speak to them, let alone ask them questions.

It was blasphemous. I knew I'd pay for it later, but I wanted to know. The sister was a portal--a window-hole out into the vast world outside our cloister. It might have been against the faith, but I'd never been very good at being faithful anyway. It was as if I'd had a first taste of fresh air, one that hadn't been re-circulated and re-filtered and re-breathed and re-exhaled a thousand times over. I had a sudden burning need to know.

The sister mulled the question over in her head. She opened her mouth twice to say something, but nothing came out. Finally, she looked down at her familiar. They shared a private thought, then she nodded. "Meet here tonight after the last solar shift, and I'll show you."

"But I can't!" I protested.

"You have two legs that will carry you."

"But I can't-"

"You mean you won't. Doesn't bother me. Either you will or you won't. I'll be here, and if you 'can', so will you."

And then she was gone. She and her familiar dashed to the lift, and before the state of shock had lifted from me, it had carried her out of sight.

Tell someone. Meet her here with others, and they'll see you were right.

I bowed my head. And expose my own blasphemy. Think I'll fare any better in their judgement than her?

Kairi was silent. She was always silent when she knew I was right.

The day's work had only just begun. In the 'dry' dock, one of the solar siphons had been detached and made ready for cleaning. It was massive. At its wide end, it was ten times as large as I was tall. Even at the small end of the funnel, I could still pass through the 'eye' of the siphon without ducking my head. Most of the job was done by scrubber bots, waist-high robots that removed spent solar matter and smoothed over the warps and ripples where the extreme heat had marred the otherwise nigh-invulnerable alloy funnel. My job--and Kairi's by extension--was to guide the scrubbers, and manually remove anything they couldn't. With Kairi's mood the way it was, it was mostly my job today. She remained silent straight through the first hour of scrubbing. It was okay--I took the opportunity to think. It's not something I did often enough. If you asked Kairi, I never did it at all.

It's not as if life with the brotherhood was hard. Hard work, yes, but not hard overall. Some of the brotherhood had joined us late in life, rather than from childhood like me. I could barely remember what it'd been like on the outside. Those brothers, they told stories of a great civilization, sprawling across the stars, and we? 'We are its beating heart. The great essence we collect flows out through the veins and capillaries of the empire to bring the empire life and power.' It was noble work, I guess. Usually it was dirty work. And monotonous, and tiring. But I wouldn't complain.

That'd be a first. Kairi had been working at a flap of metal that had been torn loose from one part of the siphon and had embedded itself into the mouth of the funnel. It would need to be recovered and re-molded back into place, while the holes it had torn while it rattled around on way to the place where it'd finally become stuck would need to be smoothed over and filled.

I guess Kairi was still sour about the sister. Had I said anything else, like 'Stop, you!', or 'This is improper!', we could have gone to one of the senior brothers. They'd want to know if a sister was impersonating a brother, and sneaking around where she shouldn't be. Instead, I had to speak before I thought. The idea of misbehaving in that fashion, it was so alien that it simply intrigued me. What _would_it be like to wander free--unobserved and unrecognized? What would I learn? What would I see?

Stop already! You're only making it worse. It's like you're worrying a scab, rather than letting it heal, beloved. You're starting to worry me. She gave a particularly rough tug to the metal as if to emphasize her point. Her jaws were closed over it, and her teeth were leaving long scores in the normally nigh-impenetrable material. In this meeting of the immovable object versus the irresistible force, the force was winning.

I'm sorry. I truly was. I didn't want to worry Kairi, nor did I really want to misbehave. It wasn't any rebellious nature that drove me--instead it was curiosity. I simply wanted something new. By the brothers' count, I had been with them twenty eight full solar cycles. Twenty eight years, with the same thing every day. The same nourishing but bland dietary supplement. The same mind-numbing work. The same dizzying exposures to Proxima Solaris. I didn't want to misbehave, I just wanted more!

_But, I'm more._Kairi's comment was quiet through our link. Instant shame overcame the curiosity.

Of course you are, lovely. Perhaps because they expected exactly this kind of bone-weariness, every brother was given a familiar. They were vat-grown and designed specifically for us--each one of us individually. They were our constant companions, the perfect friend and confident even twenty eight years into hard, daily work. Kairi, I would have gone mad years ago had you not been with me.

_Damn right you would have._Familiars were made to be everything we were not. Strong where we were weak. Assertive where we were meek. Faithful when we doubted. Kairi was exactly what I needed, a friend with enough patience to live through my imperfections.

I felt her mood soften, and she stopped tugging at the metal flap.You're not so imperfect. You act without thought, and that gets you into trouble.

_Oh? Like the time you smuggled the scrubber-bot into our room hoping it would clean up the floor?_I responded petulantly. I was hardly blameless, true, but neither was she perfect. She'd been made to be my perfect companion, and sometimes what I needed most was a co-conspirator.

_Well, it did remove the stains._She blinked at me with an innocent smile.

Along with the floor! I ruffled her ears and scratched around the base of her skull. She loved that. I felt a faint buzz of pleasure hum through our link. I remembered when we'd finally managed to disengage the scrubber. It'd eaten through the concrete and rebar of our floor. Brother Alfus, my downstairs neighbor, had been looking up through the hole we'd left with such an indignant glare that it still brought a smile to my face.

Declaring an impromptu break, Kairi sat in front of me, and I knelt down to fuss with her ears. Then tell me, love, what has you so intrigued by this sister that you'd be wiling to risk such serious blasphemy to learn? And trust me, this is really, really bad if you get caught.

She would know. Rather than having the brothers memorize the scriptures, it was quite literally hard-coded into the familiars. Any time we needed to know--or to understand--our familiars were there on hand to remember for us. If she said it was serious, it was serious. But still, even with that, the gnawing curiosity bit at my mind. Don't you ever wonder, Kairi? Don't you look through the sky-port every once in a while and wonder? All those stars out there--that's the empire. Doesn't it eat at you wondering what it's like?

A sad look crossed her face, and she caught my hand in her jaws, to let me know she wanted me to be serious. Those teeth were hardened super-alloys, powered by jaws that were the organic equivalent of a hydraulic press. Combined they could scythe through steel with barely a thought. Yet with all that power, she held my hand as tenderly. No. I don't. And neither should you.

_But I do, and try as either of us might try, I can't stop._She didn't try to fight the inevitable. She knew it wasn't rebellion or intentional blasphemy. It was simply the result of a weak mind--one open to all sorts of ideas and concepts and ideas that were unbecoming to a brother. Sometimes I didn't think enough. Sometimes--like this time--I thought too much. Unbidden, my mind gravitated back towards the sister I'd bumped into. She'd seemed so much like a brother. Enough so that she'd been able to fool me and presumably everyone else she'd passed. Were all sisters like that? What was it that kept us apart, if only-

Stop! Just stop, please._This time I felt teeth, before Kairi let go of my hand. _Why do you have to keep thinking about her?

I can't stop myself. It's just something... It's something new, Kairi. It's something I've never felt before. I...

She was looking up at me. Her eyes were penetrating, and there was a hurt there I'd never seen before. When I felt her voice over the link, it was quiet. Aren't I enough?

Crushing shame weighed down on me, and I sat where I stood. My robe crumpled beneath me, insulating from the cold metal.

Kairi, I-

_You didn't think. Of course. You never do._She turned away from me, swatting me with her tail as she spun. It felt like being lovingly tapped by a steel girder.

No, hear me out. Kairi, you're my familiar. No one could replace that. Her head didn't move, but her ears did give a nervous twitch as they swiveled to face me. Good. At least she was 'listening'. I know you're built not to feel or think about the outside, but I've lived here all my life, and I'm _ not _programmed like you. Can't you understand that, even if the world outside is cruel and corrupt, it'd do me some good to see that? How can I be content with the lot I've got I've been given if I can't look outside and see what might have been mine--had I not been found cold and half-dead in the hold of that freighter?

You'd be all-the-way-dead.

I frowned and shook off her obvious statement. You know what I mean. I don't want to go there--and I don't want to leave you--but I just want to see. I just want a glimpse.

She turned her head back towards me and let out a sigh. Promise me that if I let you take a look, you'll be content and stop there?

Promise.

She shook her head and capitulated. A surge of anticipation hit me square in the stomach. I'd decided. Tonight, I'd go see the sister.

"... Still under the control of armed militants. Procyon authorities have created a controlled zone around the facility and are advising all citizens to avoid at all costs..." The image of the newscaster was androgynous and blurred. It was an unfamiliar species--large and imposing with stripes in its fur and a voice that growled as much as it purred. I recognized none of the names of locations the presenter rattled off. Procyon, Sirius, Tau Ceti, Epsilon Indi--they were all just meaningless syllables to me. If they hadn't been used in relation to reported events, I wouldn't have even recognized them as locations at all. I kept listening, waiting for a mention of our home Proxima, but it never came up.

The sister--her name was Sister Elin--had led me up the lift, down a disused corridor to a storage bay, and under a loading crane into a corner hidden from view. In there was her secret: a little subspace receiver. The first time she'd powered it up, I jumped. I don't wish to be called provincial, but the brotherhood just didn't have things like this. Apparently, neither did the sisterhood. This little artifact had been handed down to her by a friend, and to her from an older sister, and so on. I was just the last in a chain of 'rebels' and 'troublemakers' to see it.

And it was enrapturing. Even though I didn't understand most of the news is brought in, just the fact that it was talking about the outside world demanded my attention. Sister Elin and I were sat with our backs against multi-ton storage crates, huddled together for warmth as we watched.

"... In shipping news, solar flares in Eta Eridani continue disrupting light subspace travel. Press the red button on your receiver for up-to-the-minute details on how this may interrupt your journey..."

I felt a touch on my shoulder. A quick glance to the side showed that Erin was laying her head on me. I stayed still, not wanting to startle her away. At our feet, our familiars had draped themselves around each other and fallen asleep, heads on haunches and noses under tails. The company was almost as strange to me as the news broadcasts. Brothers simply didn't congregate like this. Physical contact--close, friendly physical contact--was 'discouraged', and that meant the feeling of her cheek bone nestling into the cup of my shoulder felt so unfamiliar that the contact point felt hot, even through my insulating robe.

Proximity to Elin was giving me ideas--decidedly un-brotherly ideas. I knew if Kairi had been awake then, she'd be angry at me. She might be jealous or scared, too. A brother isn't supposed to feel that way about a sister. Thinking rationally, it's probably why they keep us apart.

But the rule had been broken, and the gap had been closed. When Elin laid her head on my shoulder, I put my arm around her and hugged. We fell asleep watching the hazy subspace receiver, until the first morning cycle woke us.

The next day I was a wreck. When I shambled down to the day's duties, Brother Teimo intercepted me before I could board the lift.

"You look horrible." I scowled at him. He'd never been particularly diplomatic. When I tried to move past him, though, he persisted. "Seriously, Alek, you don't look well. You should go see Brother Haem before you go to duties today."

My first instinct was to brush it off--laugh and make light of my condition. The second instinct, though, was to not stand out. Don't make waves. Don't give anyone a reason to ask 'why'. Without responding verbally, I acquiesced to Brother Teimo and made my way to the infirmary.

Brother Haem was an elderly dog. We'd say he was 'closer to the sun', but only in that the faith said our souls went to Proxima when we died. It was a rather morbid way of saying the muzzle that stuck out from under his hood was entirely grey, with only a touch of the tan color I'd guess he'd had in his youth. I liked Haem. The years seemed to have drained the pretentious bullshit of the faith from him, leaving in its place pragmatism.

"Hello, Alek. To what do I owe the honor? Or, more accurately, who should I blame for the advice I'm about to give you?" As I said, pragmatism. I pulled back the hood of my robe to show him a smile, and he patted the chair next to him. I sat, and Kairi immediately claimed my lap with her head. From beneath his desk, his own familiar gave us a tolerant yawn. I didn't know her name.

"Teimo sent me up. Said I didn't look well."

"And he's right. You look like shit." He grabbed my hand. The veins on his fingers stood out even beneath the thin pelt, but his grip was still strong. He applied a small pad fetched from the top of his desk to my palm. He touched a hand-held computer to it and scanned the read-out. "No significant bacterial or viral load, decreased motor neuron response, heightened serotonin levels. You're just exhausted."

He reached down and scratched behind Kairi's ears. There was an immediate gut response of wrongness--someone else had touched my familiar. It just wasn't supposed to be done, but brother Haem just shrugged the taboo off as if it didn't apply to him. Kairi didn't seem to mind, either. She gave half a wag. I gave him an inquisitive glare.

"Who do you think takes care of familiars when they get sick? Being the doctor means I get to skip past all that hokum. I've spent half of my life with the brotherhood, Alek. I find that I get better results when I ignore all those rules and just get the job done. Don't you think?" He gave me a broad wink. "Anyway, I'm the only one that's allowed to tell it like it is, so I'm going to make the assumption that it's Kairi that's wearing you out."

At that, Kairi gave an expressive snort. Don't I wish!

"So you weren't born here?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Was a trader on the fringe, back before they'd opened the new route to Kruger. It was just black space, no lanes, so my friends and I, we owned all the shipping back then. If you wanted to get teragram of h-two-oh to the new colonies, then you had to go through us. Then the new lanes were set up, and times got hard."

"So the brotherhood took you in?"

"Not before I made some bad choices. But yes, they took me in, and gave me Sophie." He reached down and stroked his familiar's ears. "Now that I'm here, I wouldn't trade it for all the old colonial credits I could fit in the hold."

"Ah." He sounded like the blurry vision in the receiver, talking about far-away places and a whole life's worth of concepts that I'd never even considered.

"So I'm suggesting a day's bed rest for you. I'll tell Teimo you're not to be disturbed before tomorrow. Go rest up, and get some sleep." I took that as a dismissal, and by the time I glanced back from the door of his infirmary, he was busy with something on his desk.

Back in my chamber, I undressed and collapsed on my thin mattress. Kairi crawled up next to me and laid her head on my shoulder. So, was it worth it?

I thought back to the previous night. It'd felt... Interesting. Interesting in a good way, because so little of what I did could be considered interesting. It had been a little glimpse of things outside, and that was... Interesting.

_Yes. It was. It didn't look like you were complaining either, curled up with her familiar._I stroked her ears as I sent my reply.

His name is Rogan._She licked at my cheek. _And yes, I guess I wasn't, even though I should have been. Does that mean you're done being stupid? Are we done with this now?

I considered. It had just been a little taste--a little nibble of a delicacy denied to me for my entire life. I looked down at Kairi. I hoped she'd understand when I responded and said: No.

She didn't respond for the longest time. I'd almost fallen asleep by the time she sent back her reply: Good.

The next time the sister and I met, she found some silly drama on the receiver. It was set in a space hospital, and all of the characters seemed to be at once in love and in abject hatred of each other. We sat enthralled for an hour before it came to an unsatisfying ending and transitioned into news. We lay together afterwards for hours, saying little as the blurry figure spouted events about the local worlds as if we knew why the Lalande liberation army would be fighting the colonial forces, or why the media mogul that owned the Sirius holonet was being investigated for fraud.

I can't say that it was just the news that intrigued me. After I'd watched hours of it, it all seemed to run together. But I felt so content, laying with Elin on the floor of the cargo bay, that it was just comforting noise in the background. When I looked down at Kairi, she was awake this time. She gazed up at me with every evidence of contentment.

This time, we disengaged and went to sleep in our own rooms. I was alive and invigorated the following day, rather than a torporous mess like the first time. For the first time, I actually looked forward to scrubber duty, time alone with Kairi to just think and consider what we'd seen, and what we'd done.

And how it felt.

Kairi was in-step with me, on our way to the lifts. I buried my fingers in her pelt, and she gave me a little happy twinge over our link. So now do you forgive me for not turning Elin in when we first met?

Forgiven. She's... Nice.

_And Rogan?_I felt her respond on a more instinctual level when I sent his name. We rushed up to the scrubbers, bay 3-alpha today. When the bay doors closed behind us, we were alone with the massive siphons and the autonomous robots. I set their program, then before we could do even a smidgen of what I would call 'work', Kairi had me pinned up against the bay wall.

I didn't need to ask. I could feel her emotions through the link, too raw and immediate to put words to. While the scrubber-bots trundled off to do their chores, I threw my robe and undergarments into an undignified heap near the bay door and grasped Kairi's hips.

She wasn't in the mood for foreplay. She had her tail up and her back arched for me, and when I knelt she sat back against my crotch eagerly. There wasn't any art to our love-making. I reached down to line myself up, and just let myself go as I slid into her depths. She growled and ground herself back against me. It was heavenly.

Usually, we took it slow, even when we were at our duty. Today, though, with the way she clenched around me, I just clawed at her back and let my hips work their own pace. She was no more able to control herself than I was, tail smacking against my chest and claws leaving little gouges in the floor of the cargo bay.

What's got you so--nnh-worked up?_She didn't respond, other than yelping when I bottomed out in her. I felt my balls swing up and slap between her hindlegs. God, that felt amazing when she rolled her haunches and squeezed. Still, I wondered. _This isn't like you. What's got into you, lovely?

Nothing! That's the point. I..._She gave another squeeze, and then came. Her whole body locked up, and the silky sensation of humping into her turned oh-so-much tighter as she clenched around me. _Rogan! It's Rogan. Alek, don't be mad with me, but, I...

And I thought I'd been the only one with those 'wrong' feelings when Elin had snuggled up against my side. I held Kairi's hips as she came down from her peak. I tried to picture it: Kairi, _my_Kairi, standing with hindlegs slightly apart, while Rogan mounted up and thrust. I waited for the jealousy and anger that never arrived.

Rogan, eh?_I grabbed her nape with one hand and pulled her back, grinding my crotch against her. _You want Rogan? Another familiar? Another male that isn't me?

I'm sorry! Alek, I'm sorry.

Don't be. I like it._I bent over her and gave her another hard thrust. She yelped again, and I felt her legs shivering with the intensity of it. _You want him bent over you, just like this? Think he'll feel anything like me? I don't know how familiars are built. Think he'll be bigger?

She gave me a whine, and I was fucking her again. I felt a surge of relief surge down the link. Her forelegs came out, so I just held her hips up as I humped. God, I was close. The image of her under Elin's familiar--it shouldn't have hit me like it did, but who can control their own mind, especially when they're balls-deep.

Elin. That hazy feeling I'd felt while snuggled up with the sister solidified. That's what I'd been feeling--Kairi was just better at recognizing it than I was. Elin. That's my price, Kairi. While you're getting Rogan, I want to be taking Elin.

There was the immediate surge of surprise and anger that I'd expected, but it dwindled away quickly. You're not supposed to.

I ground my hips against her slowly, and with the indescribable feeling of Kairi's sex sliding down around my knot, I was coming in her. It tingled, a head-rush and a slow burn of pleasure as I twitched. You and Rogan? So I'm sure that's a 'supposed to' for familiars, then? Tell me again about not being supposed to?

She was quiet. She was always quiet when she knew I was right. Instead, we lay there on the floor of the bay as the scrubbers meandered around the siphons. With not a single thought for our duties, Kairi and I shared our anticipation, the emotion mingling and doubling until neither of us could think of anything but the next time we'd take the lift up to the storage bay.

"Fire-storms have covered much of the northern continent on Luyten Gamma, endangering the newly-constructed research colony. Luckily, colonial drop-ships were available to evacuate citizens before..."

This time, we weren't paying attention to the news. I could see it on Elen's face when we'd arrived. She'd made some decision too, just like I had. Could I hope that it'd been the same decision? There was some kind of electric feeling in the air. Maybe Kairi could talk to Rogan, and Rogan would tell Elin. If that was the case, they were all keeping it quiet. Maybe if no one said it--maybe then it wouldn't be so wrong.

But wrong or not--stated or not, it was only half an hour into the nightly news broadcasts when Elin and I watched Rogan licking between Kairi's hindlegs. I could feel her almost buzzing with excitement as the blurry news droned on in the background. Elin looked at me, and I looked at her. Neither of us said anything, but her hand slipped beneath my robe. It did feel wrong. It was another hand touching me, touching fur and skin. In all my years with the brothers, not once could I remember someone tending to me like this other than Kairi, and she had a distinct lack of opposable digits.

The excitement built slow. We--all of us--seemed to take our time exploring each other. It was so familiar, and yet so alien. If we were going to break all the tenants of the brotherhood--or of the sisterhood--then we were going to do and see all there was to be done and seen before it inevitably had to end.

With her robe pushed aside, Elin was lovely. She and I weren't built so differently, at least not above the belt-line. Where she slid fingers tentatively over my sheath, though, my fingers were able to slide over the lips of her sex. She wasn't built like Kairi. She spread her legs for me, and when my finger glided over her bare skin, I could feel little bumps and nubs and silky skin that made me shiver in anticipation.

Kairi beat me to the main event, though. With a scrabbling of claws, she pushed herself upright, quickly followed by Rogan. Elin's hands stopped where she'd been slowly stroking me, and both of us watched as her familiar hoisted himself up onto Kairi's back.

I'd been right. He was bigger than I was, drooping from his fat sheath and dangling between Kairi's legs. I felt a squeeze and looked down. Elin was stroking me again as we watched. It didn't take long for them to find a comfortable position, with Kairi angling her hips up and Rogan taking little taps until he found that tight little spot I was so intimately familiar with.

I shared the feeling of that first penetration with Kairi. It was a strange sensation when it came down our link--translated by my brain as just a gentle and slick sensation of flesh against flesh. I felt Elin shiver next to me. Then she pulled herself over me, kneeling over my crotch. I lay and watch as she gave me a few more strokes, then pulled me vertical so she could fit to her own sex, and then slide down. It felt electric. She gave a little hiccough as her hips hit mine.

Just like before, we took it slow. I reached up and ran my hands over her body, tweaking her nipples and feeling with curious fingers where our bodies met. Both of us were riding the high of a shared experience as our familiars rutted, so even though we moved very little, both of us let out little stuttering sighs each time Rogan and Kairi's bodies met. Elin, she was wonderful, and she seemed just as amazed by what we were doing as I was.

Almost off-handedly, Elin leaned back. It felt amazing when her silky walls gripped at me while she twisted and stretched. Then there was an audible 'click', and the droning news went away. We were left in the relative silence--with just the sound of our familiars to drive us onwards. She lifted her hips, then dropped. Again. Everything felt liquid, so slick that all I could feel was the way she clenched as her hips landed on mine.

_Oh!_Kairi squealed over the link. _Alek, I can't..._Everything after that was just feelings and sensations. I looked over, but my suspicions were confirmed. Rogan had tied. Kairi was standing stock still, with her legs quivering slightly.

Above me, Elin made some noise of her own, and I felt her knees contract around my sides. She quivered, then stopped moving. I reached up to cradle her back and rolled with her. I wasn't used to moving someone with legs so long around, but I managed to get her onto her back. She reached down and squeezed around me with her fingers as I started to hump.

I didn't last long. With her squeezing at my base, and Kairi sending me such lurid feelings through the link, I was quickly grinding against Elin to tie. She spread her legs and pulled at me with her heels, and with a 'pop' that I felt more than heard, I was inside. I held her close as I twitched and came, basking in the glow of her presence.

We didn't stay long that night. Almost as if we were worried someone would see us now, as if our transgression would somehow summon them, we cleaned as best we could and bid each other goodnight.

A week later, we met again. We didn't even bother turning the news on. Elin and I, we had sex, yes, but we shared more than that. I spent time with Rogan, and she with Kairi. If we were sharing things that were so personal, then our familiars seemed like just a natural extension of what we shared. When Rogan and Kairi mated again, it was with Elin and I feeling and touching and stroking as they did so, before Elin and I retired to the floor to repeat the act ourselves.

There was so little we didn't explore about each other. It was as if by the release of our inhibition, all the other walls fell at the same time. When we were already doing things that were so integrally wrong to the brothers and sisters of Proxima Centauri, then what is a little bit thrown in on the side? We hid nothing.

But as all things must, this passed too. After weeks of frenzied and illicit meetings, the next was a month, and then two. And then, Elin stopped showing up.

We had shared so much, the first day when she didn't show I felt betrayed. Had I done something wrong? Had she just gotten bored of me? Kairi was in no better shape. For days afterwards, both of us shared a foul mood that even other brothers avoided us for.

I kept going up to the storage bay, though, once a week. I'd watch the news, and slowly the anatomy of the galaxy started to take shape. I learned some geography, and I started to get the feel of people on the outside. I saw a hostage situation play out in the underworld colonies on the moon of Lalande Alpha. I watched the dramas, too, and started to feel kinship with the males. There were always girl-troubles, though they were over-dramatic and seemed to have no sense of scale. I was almost feeling alright with the way things were when Elin and Rogan showed up, half a year later.

When I arrived, the subspace receiver was already on. Elin was sitting on her robe, and Rogan was curled up by her feet. She looked guiltily at me, and I immediately understood. Her belly was swollen. I may not have been familiar with female anatomy before our liasons, but watching the dramas had given me a new-found understanding.

"Am I-"

She nodded before I could finish the question. "You understand why I couldn't be here?"

I sat heavily next to her and nodded. Neither of us said anything for a while, and Kairi kept her own council. When I eventually had the ability to form words, I asked "So what do we do?"

"Nothing." She stated. "We can't, don't you see? The sisters would..."

"I know." I did. The brothers wouldn't be any better. We were doomed. Both of us. The elders would never stand for this.

"I told them I'd never met any male other than Rogan."

I nodded silently.

"The elder sisters are saying it's a miracle." I looked up in shock. "Immaculate conception. They say the child is blessed."

I did say that thinking had never been my strong suit, but I immediately saw the solution. It was clean and simple. Everyone wins. The sisterhood gets a miracle, and we get of scotch-free.

"It means we can't see each other again."

I nodded. My mind was already working--it'd come to that conclusion just moments ago.

"And even though she's your child... I can't... We can't..." I held her as she cried. I understood.

Then we turned the receiver off. My last glimpse of her was as she sneaked off to the lift. I'd never asked her how she'd gotten here, but the robe wouldn't do much to conceal her identity any more, not with that bulge. I turned my head away. I couldn't watch as she turned the corner and left my life.

A month later, the brotherhood had an occasion to celebrate. There had been a miracle, a child was born to the sisterhood. It was unheard of, but the brothers--ignorant as I'd been of the mechanics involved--simply accepted it with good cheer. I melded into the crowd, hiding my head as good cheer suffused my brothers.

The celebration ran long. We sang and prayed into the night, and it was all I could do to keep from screaming. At the end, we held a special solar shift, exposing us to the harsh light of Proxima that left me weak in the knees and close to tears.

"Brothers! The elders have spoken, and it has been decided that one brother and one sister should share the duty of raising this child born to miracle!" It was Brother Haem speaking. He had stood on a table, and immediately had the attention of those gathered. He was speaking in public, so he dropped the casual (and slightly blasphemous) speech that I had heard him use when I'd visited his office, and instead was talking with the same cadence and solemnity as the elders.

"They have not chosen the brother. They believe that instead one should be chosen by the divine. We have here everyone's name, written onto prayer sticks. One shall be chosen. Is this not fair?"

There was a general hubbub of 'aye's from the brothers. Mine wasn't included. I was staring directly at Brother Haem. Instead of interacting with the crowd, he was staring back at me. His eyes were piercing. He knew. Oh god. He knew.

He reached theatrically into wide bowl that held the prayer sticks. He dug deep, and I could hear the sticks knocking against each other as his fingers sought one. He pulled it free, looked at it, and took a deep breath. "Brother Alek. Will you approach?"

The crowd made room for me. My eyes didn't leave his. I climbed up onto the impromptu stage, and he took my hand. "Brother Alek, your name has been chosen."

There was cheering behind me, even from the brothers that didn't like my overly much. I ignored it. In a voice too soft to be heard over the cheering, I asked him, "You knew?"

"Of course we knew!" He held the prayer stick with my name up for everyone to see, and the cheering increased. "We're not stupid, and we're not monsters. But this means you're going to stay in line this time, understood? Not a word to anyone, and you owe us. Got it?"

Stunned, I reached down to steady myself on Kairi, who stood rock-solid at my side.

"I said, got it?"

"Completely." I put my hand forward, and brother Haem clasped it.

"Good. Now go see your daughter."