FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

(entry 1, no date)

agnis sais I shud keep a jernal too help lerning to rite. she sais I am doing god but need too lern speling beter. I like agnis. she is prety but dos not see it. she givs me my medisin four the lumps. it herts to take but she sais it wil mayk me beter. the spyk is nicer then the pit. I have my own rum! it has a bed, wich is a skwer of cloth with straw in it that you sleap on! it is very comftrable

cumof cfromtrb it is very nyce. agnis gav me close to ware too. she sed we dont need too be nakid but onisly I kind of miss it.

(entry 2, no date)

_ I saw Leon today. He is still in staysis. Agnes says he will stay there for at leest another month. I am scarred. She shoed me his arm befour she took it off and it looked like the meet the Predators eet. Stringy arownd the hole. It was a huuuuuge hole! No wunder she had to take it off. Agnes was reely sad about it. I don't blame her. It will be hard to explane to Leon when he wakes up._

_ If he wakes up._

_ Please wake up, Leon._

September 19, 1215 AV

_ I'm not very good at keeping up with this, am I. It has been four months since my last entry. Agnes says she's never seen somone take to writing so quickly. I'm sure I'm still making mitsakes but I'm getting better every day. We have been in the Spike six months now. Leon is still in staysis. Agnes says he's "a tough bastard" but the arterieal damage in his arm was really bad. Even after removing it, there have been so many complications. Every time she thaws him out, something goes rong. This time it was an infection that ran rampant. She used some injections, and herbal drinks she made herself, said they would hurt him bad but it was the only way to slow the infection._

_ I can't lose my brother. I don't know wat I'll do._

January 16, 1216 AV

_ Leon pulled through! And he woke up!_

It took four whole weeks of trips in and out of stasis and lots of injections and those weird herbal drinks, but he came out of it. Telling him about the arm hit him hard. I've never seen him so devastated, not even after Mom died. Agnes said she knows of some coping mechanisms, to help with phantom limb pain. He can still feel the arm hurting, even though it's not there anymore. She said it's partly physical and partly in his head, so there are mental exercises he can do to help, including something with a box with a mirror in it.

_ Agnes is so sweet. She has been helping me with my treatments, too. The injections she gives me make me feel like death, but the Lumps in my armpit have receded. She says there's one in my abdomen, larger than the others, and that if we don't surgically remove it, then eventually the injections will stop working. I'm so scared, but Leon will be there. I love him so much._

_ Next week is my surgery. If there are truly any gods left, I will pray to them. I don't want to die._

March 9, 1216 AV

_ Gods. Three months. It took three months to recuperate. You'd think, spending all that time bedridden, that I'd find time to write in this thing. Nooope. Agnes is a freaking goddess. She removed the last Lump--she calls them "tumors"--without a hitch. The injections made recovery a little dicey for a while--and another month left on them! UGH--so I was under constant supervision, but the guards let Leon stay with me most of the time, so it wasn't so bad. We didn't talk much, just enjoyed each other's company._

_ He's just... he looks like an angel when he sleeps, scars and all. It's weird to think that, since we're identical and I sure as heck don't think_ I look like an angel. But something about him is cherubic that I don't have. I'm kind of jealous, but I love it about him, too.

_ Agnes saw me staring at him. She didn't say anything, but the look she gave me makes me think she has the wrong idea about what the look meant. I don't think of Leon like that, that's weird! Right?_

_ Isn't it?_

March 22, 1216 AV

_ Only two weeks since my last entry! I really am getting better. Haha. I really will write more, I promise. But big news. Mender Agnes is running an experiment and she wants me and Leon to help! She says it's about why Leon and I took so long to get sick from the fumes. She thinks we're special. Leon got really scared when she said that, I told him he was being a dummy. It's just like Ollivander said when we were little. We're special! I think that's exciting._

_ The Warden brought in other prisoners to join the experiment. They each got their own rooms too! It's... Words can't express it. For almost fourteen years, my waking hours were digging in a quarry filled with toxic smoke and sleeping with dozens of other Anthropa crammed into a tiny twenty-foot stone building. No such thing as privacy. That's a word I learned from Mender Agnes! She's so amazing. I think I'm in love with her. (OH GODS I HOPE SHE NEVER FINDS THIS)_

_ She's so tall and strong--she's a Minoan! I've never met a Minoan! She has big curvy horns and an actual septum ring! It's brass and looks really heavy. She looks so... well, I don't want to say she's beautiful. She isn't, exactly. I think "handsome" is more the right word. But when she laughs, I get this feeling in my stomach and... other places. The only other person to make me feel that way was XXXXXXXXXXXX_

_ ANYWAY tomorrow we meet the other prisoners. It will be nice to see other people again. It's been so long with just the three of us. I am excited to find out how we will be helping the experiment! It feels amazing to be useful in a way other than smashing rocks all dang day._