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Five

Apologies

So, let me tell you about "awkward silences." That's this new thing I learned about directly after telling Agnes I loved her. I mean, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't really sure I did, but it felt like the right thing to say. Turns out it was not. Agnes got real quiet and still for a long time. I knew after a few seconds I'd done something stupid again. I did that a lot, it seemed.

"I'm sorry," I finally said to break the silence. "Please talk to me."

Agnes squeezed me gently against those huge, fluffy pillows of hers and licked the top of my head with her enormous tongue. I didn't quite get wet again, but she definitely made my nethers quiver a little. "It's just... that ain't something you should be saying to me. Not because I don't like it. Just... we're in precarious positions, I guess you could say. You're technically still a prisoner, and I'm in charge of you."

"W-well," I stammered, "I bet you weren't supposed to put your tongue inside my lady bits and drown me in your semen, either. But we did."

Agnes sighed. "Yeah. We did. And we... shouldn't have." My eyes welled up, but she stroked my back fur reassuringly. "But I'm glad we did. I had fun."

The tension bunching in my shoulders eased, and I managed not to release the tears welling up in my eyes. "But you don't love me."

Agnes made a who knows? gesture with her free hand. "Honey, even if I did, I couldn't say it back to you. Wouldn't be right."

I risked looking up into her face. She looked pained. "Why?"

Agnes rubbed her eyes. "I got power over you. You know? I'm as much your warden as Reggie is."

I blinked. "Who's Reggie?"

Agnes's eyes widened. "Oh, Hells. Do not tell the Warden I told you that, he'd have my head."

Realization dawned. "The warden's real name is... is Reggie?" I started giggling.

Agnes tried and failed to hide her grin behind a cough. "It's uh... short for Reginald."

That only made me laugh harder. Gods, I thought I was going to pee myself, I laughed so hard. I guess it was infectious, because eventually Agnes joined in.

* * *

Once the giggle fit died down, we started feeling pretty gross. We were still wet and sticky, but now we were cold, wet, and sticky, which was a lot less fun than when hot. Agnes led me to her shower and we started washing each other. When she washed between my legs, her fingers may have lingered a bit. Which was fair, because I took a long, long time washing that beautiful, enormous horse meat between her legs. She even let me wash her short, curved horns, though she said it wasn't really necessary since they didn't get particularly dirty. I didn't care, mostly I just wanted to touch them. The points were sharper than I expected.

I didn't want to stop washing her. I wanted to keep this excuse to touch her all over. But eventually the water ran out--I guess even the Mender was on daily water rations--and she slowly dressed me, planting little kisses as she went. It was sweet, but I think it was mostly to make me feel less embarrassed about blurting out my romantic confession earlier. It didn't help, but I liked it anyway.

I watched her clothe herself wistfully, then sat in her big puffy chair in awkward silence again when she was done. She looked at the floor. I looked at the wall. Eventually she said, "Guess I aughta get you back now."

"Yeah. I-I guess."

"We can't really do this again."

I was not going to cry. I was not going to cry. "Yeah."

Agnes moved to the chair and knelt down so we were eye to eye. "I'm glad we got to do it this time, though," she said, and kissed me. It was an aggressive, passionate kiss, and I let myself go. I cried, and sobbed, and kissed her back. She didn't let up. Her tongue wrestled against mine, and she moaned with excitement, and I held her head in my hands and returned it with all the passion I could muster. And despite my misery, I wanted more of her, I wanted her inside me again and again. I couldn't get enough of her.

But that was all I got. She eventually pulled away, and licked my fur clean of tears. "No more tears, honey," she whispered solemnly. "You're a woman now, you gotta be strong. For you and your brother. Okay?"

I nodded miserably.

"Maybe... someday, when you're out of this place, you'll see me again. And we can talk about... things. Okay, honey?"

She was just trying to console me, I knew that, but I couldn't help it. I did feel better. I nodded to her and leaned in to kiss her again. She didn't pull back, but the kiss was a lot more restrained. Just on the lips, no more of that glorious tongue forcing its way into my mouth. Just thinking about it made me moisten.

She stood up, took my hand, and led me out of her quarters. The Scrofa stationed on either side of her door outside didn't so much as look at us as Agnes led me down the corridor, which ended in a T intersection. The intersection had no wall, just a chest-high balcony looking out into the Yard. Currently it was empty, and the space looked vast and desolate with no one in it. Funny how bodies seemed to make rooms shrink.

She brought me to a door in the opposite wall of the corridor and pressed a button. Creaking, grinding noises came from the other side, setting my nerves on edge. Agnes seemed unperturbed though, so I tried not to freak out. Eventually the door opened of its own volition, but it didn't swing. It split down the middle and slid into the wall on either side. The room beyond was shockingly small, big enough to fit a handful of people standing close together and that was it.

Agnes led me into it. The walls were like the balcony, only going up about chest height, but instead of being open above that, they had pitted iron fencing. Past the fencing, I could see the walls of some kind of... shaft? It was rusty, like the fencing on the box we were in. The whole thing looked ancient and fragile. Agnes turned to face the doors, where a dark iron panel was set in the wall. She pressed a button with the letter "G" carved on it and the doors shuddered closed.

Then the room jerked and started descending, and I actually screamed and latched onto Agnes's waist. "It's an elevator, honey. We're okay. They're supposed to do that. You're okay."

Nothing she said consoled me. I continued clutching her until the box came to a wobbling stop and the doors slid open. Two more Scrofus guards stood facing the doors, but they stared ahead like all the others, never making eye contact. I felt trapped for a second, between the rusty death box and the scary death boars with their shiny armor and polished halberds.

Eventually I peeled myself off Agnes and let her lead me out of the box, down a couple more corridors to familiar territory. I'd walked this corridor hundreds of times now, going from my cell to Agnes's lab and back. She led me into my cell past my own personal pair of Scrofus guards and closed the door behind us.

"Listen, Nola," she said, placing her big hands on my shoulders. "I meant what I said about us not doing that again. But I also meant what I said when I told you I was glad we did. You're a beautiful young woman, and you taste divine." I felt my cheeks heat and my ears twitch. "And I wanna promise you, you don't gotta feel guilty or bad about what happened. I wanted you as much as you wanted me." She blushed when she said it, and her cock swelled a little in her pant leg. I wanted to tear it free and stuff it in my mouth again, see if I could catch more of her cum this time. I had to work very hard to force the thought out of my head and listen to her.

"I... thank you, Agnes." I put my hands on hers and stared at her thick, full lips. How could I not have thought she was beautiful? She was gorgeous. "I... I meant what I said, too. But... I'm sorry I said it."

Agnes bit her lip. "Don't be sorry, sweetie. I appreciated it, even if I can't reciprocate. I'm damned flattered such a beautiful creature would say it to an old cow like me."

I swatted her tummy. "Shut up! You're not an old cow. You're beautiful. And yummy."

Agnes's cheeks went crimson. "Okay, now. Stop. You're making me blush." She leaned way down and I thought she was going to kiss me again. My heart skipped as she approached, but she grasped my cheeks and leaned me down a little so she could kiss the top of my head, between my ears. It was a very maternal gesture. It was sweet, gentle, and drove home unequivocally that nothing else was going to happen between us.

"Get some rest, honey. I'll see you tomorrow." She left me alone in my cell. I wandered over to my bed, which felt wildly uncomfortable after spending the day lying in the Mender's fluffy one, and I curled into a ball and cried. I was getting real sick of crying; it seemed to happen a lot lately.

* * *

The next day, I returned to the Yard. Tanya and Val were chatting on the benches. Val was panting hard, like she was excited about whatever it was they were discussing, and itching her bicep. Patrice had Kiba cornered by the game tables, flexing his sad little biceps at her. To my surprise, Kiba looked transfixed. I suspected she didn't get much attention from boys. I thought about intervening, but I remembered what Agnes had said about everybody getting along. I supposed if he wasn't threatening her, I should leave them be. Besides, Tanya wasn't all that far off, and if Kiba was going to ask anyone to help her, it would be the Lontramar, not me.

I almost didn't notice my brother, because his wheelchair was nowhere in sight. He stood by his own power, over by the tetherball pole, batting it morosely back and forth with his remaining hand. I shuddered, swallowed, and slowly made my way over.

I heard Tanya and Val's conversation stop as I walked past them toward Leon. He didn't look up as I approached, and I stopped a good eight feet from him. I was about to clear my throat, when he said, "Hey, Nola." He didn't look up at me.

"Hey, bro." I rubbed my arm awkwardly. Cripes, everything was awkward with everybody now. "Uhm. I m-missed you."

He didn't say anything, but I swear he looked a little guilty. Or maybe I just wanted him to look that way. "Just needed alone time for a while."

I looked around, fishing for something to say, something to break this horrible tension. "You're not in your wheelchair. That's good."

He shrugged.

I couldn't help myself, I felt tears welling up. I had done it, I'd driven away the most important person in my life because I couldn't control my stupid hormones. I shuddered and sobbed, I couldn't stop myself. Leon froze, and glanced at me with pity. That did it. I ran to him and swallowed him up in a fierce hug, sobbing on his shoulder.

"I'm s-s-sorryyy," I wailed. "P-please don't l-leave me for R-Rika! I n-need you!"

He was frozen stiff. What had I done? Why did I say that?? Oh, gods. I felt like a pile of pieces that were never going to come back together. My world was falling apart and I couldn't get my own freaking brother to hug me.

But... then he did. And not an awkward pat or a stiff gesture, but a fierce, loving squeeze. "You dummy," he whispered. I felt something hot and wet hit my shoulder. Leon was crying too. "I don't wanna leave you for anybody. I love you. And I love Rika. And just because I need her in my life doesn't mean I don't need you anymore. I'm not going anywhere without you. You hear me? You can't get rid of me that easy."

I couldn't find any words to say. I didn't think I had the physical capacity to say them even if I did. I just kept crying, ugly and shaky and snotty and weak with relief. Even with just one arm, Leon held me up. "Come on," he whispered, pulling away a little. "Come sit down before you fall down."

He helped me down into the grass, wrapping his arm around me and holding me against him. I'd cried myself out mostly, just sniffles and an occasional hitched breath, but I let him hold me because he hadn't held me for weeks and I missed him. I still didn't know how his touch could do that, but now I was a little scared of it, realizing what it did to me emotionally when it wasn't there. A piece of me lived in my twin, and if I lost him, I don't know if I could survive it.

"Y-you..." I started, sniffed, wiped my runny nose, and tried again. "You miss Rika."

Leon nodded. He was still crying, but he wasn't a slobbery mess like me. He looked beautiful that way, two thin lines of darkened fur under his big, electric-blue eyes. "We... mated."

"I know." It felt weird admitting it, but he'd seen me see them that night. I mean, pretty much everyone in the Den heard them by the end. He'd put it in her butt. I'd watched it happen. I'd... Gods help me, I touched myself while I watched them. And... I'd been jealous, too.

Shit.

"No," Leon said, his ears twitching furiously. "After the Warden took you. She asked me to... to breed her. And I did. I... don't know if it took. But it might have."

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again. I already knew he'd wanted that with Rika, but I didn't know they'd actively tried. What do you say to that? "Oh. Crap."

Well, okay Nola, maybe not that.

Leon gave me an annoyed look, then shrugged. "I might have kits. Kittens? They'd be hybrids, so I don't know what to call them."

"Kits is shorter. Go with kits."

He gave me a sad smile. "I had a dream, while I was in stasis. Or maybe one of my fevers. I dreamed I saw them. Two girls, beautiful and strange. Little foxes with rabbit ears and my nose. It felt so real." He closed his eyes. This time he did sob.

I thought back to yesterday morning, my conversation with Agnes. "Leon, did... did Mender Agnes tell you why we're here?"

He buried his face in his hand and nodded.

"Oh." I rubbed his back gently. "That must make it especially hard."

"I saw you in the dream, too," he whispered, then froze again. Gods, my brother was easy to read. I bit my lip and kept rubbing his back.

"Yeah?" I prodded gently.

Leon shook his head vigorously. "Just a dream. Forget about it."

I took his hand away from his face and squeezed it, using my other hand to make him face me. "You can tell me. I won't judge. Just a dream, like you said."

His ears started vibrating. I smiled. Gods it was tempting to tease him, especially after he made me worry for so many weeks, but I cut him a break. Sort of.

I leaned in close and gently kissed his nose. He started squeaking. "It's okay," I muttered. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I rested my head on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Leon. I'm sure Rika's okay. And your kits. You'll see her again when we get out of this place and we'll all escape together. Somehow. I promise."

He leaned his head against mine. "Thanks, sis."

I wrapped my arm around him and rubbed the fur on his abdomen. "Anyt--"

Tanya screamed.

We jumped up and ran over to the benches, where Val had collapsed on the ground. She shook and convulsed, as something black and oily dribbled out of her eyes, ears, and muzzle. As she shuddered, fur began to fall off her in patches, revealing serpentine scales beneath. The largest patch was on her right bicep--where she'd been scratching earlier.

"Guards!" Tanya screamed. "Guards! Help!"

The guards did not help. One of them strode out of the Yard at a fast pace, but none of the others approached. Fucking useless asshole bastards.

I tried to help hold Val down--she kept hitting herself in her convulsions--but too late we realized the bigger threat was her tongue, which she'd started biting down on. Patrice and Kiba rushed over, but before Patrice could pry her jaws open, Val's tongue fell to the grass with a sickening wet plap. The blood that ran from it was too dark, almost black.

Within moments, Val's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she started choking. We didn't know what to do. What was she choking on? There was no food in the Yard! Leon pushed against her shoulder and heaved her one-handed onto her side, but it was too late. Val had stopped breathing.

It quickly became apparent what she'd choked on, as more of the oily black slime seeped out of her mouth when Leon turned her over. Blood. It was blood, but wrong somehow. Toxic. She'd drowned in her own poisoned blood from biting off her tongue. Kiba wailed. Patrice looked like he'd seen a ghost. Leon shook Val feebly.

"No. No. I saved you. You can't die now. No."

His pleas broke my heart all over again. It seemed we couldn't escape misery no matter where we went. Mender Agnes showed up less than a minute later, but all she was able to do was pronounce Val dead. The old wolf was gone.