The Lesson -Part Three - A Gray Muzzle Story
The Lesson- Final Chapter A Gray Muzzle Conclusion
Linda took Tiffany in her arms, and held her tightly.
"You poor, romantic child! You don't know how much having children changes your life! When I was your age, I had hopes, dreams. I studied hard; I wanted to make something of myself. In a moment, that all changed. A smooth talking older leopard talked his way into my pants one night. That's all it took. I was pregnant, my life changed forever. I've spent the last eleven years dealing with my new dream- seeing that you don't have to live that way, to have to give up your life before it's begun. "
Tiffany looked sad.
"You didn't want me?'
"Oh, but I did...." Linda reassured. "I gladly gave it all for you, for I wanted you more than life itself. But......one doesn't have to have children so soon. That's why I think you should wait."
Tiffany started to scream...
"NO! NO! NEVER! I'll run away first! You'll never see me again....NO ONE WILL KILL MY BABY!
Tiffany broke from her mother's arms. She ran straight to her room, slamming the door and locking it.
From her bed, Linda could hear her daughter's tortured sobs. Every part of her wanted to run to her, to comfort her, to make it right. But Linda was torn. She wanted to make things alright for Tiffany again. Tiffany wanted to have this child, no question. But Linda knew it would destroy her life. Perhaps more importantly, Linda knew that with two babies on the way, there was no way that she could care for all three, and for Tiffany, too. So, she sat in bed until the sobs decreased, then ended. Her soft snores told Linda that at least she was at peace now. There was to be no peace for Linda however. She sat up all night, deep in thought, heart breaking.
At seven the next morning, Linda went to Tiff's bedside. She sat down beside her daughter before rousing her.
"Tiff" she asked tentatively.
Tiffany opened her eyes slowly. Once open, she looked at her mother.
"You look like Hell" Tiffany observed.
"I FEEL like Hell." Linda responded. "I've been up all night, thinking. I listened to you crying until you ran out of tears. I've run out of tears, too. I ran this thing over and over; your way, my way, a hundred different ways......
"And?" Tiffany inquired, expectantly.
Linda inhaled sharply.
"Regardless of my own feelings or beliefs, I just could not force another human being, much less my own daughter to have an abortion."
Tiffany threw her arms around her mother.
"Oh Momma!" she enthused
"Don't be happy yet" Linda counseled "You may like my answer even less. You can have your baby. You can go through the pregnancy, the birth, see your newborn. But you can't keep him. It's not right. I can't raise you and three newborns, too. There isn't enough money, and you simply are not ready. With time, you'll be a good Mom. But now, you are simply too young. Having that baby is a lifetime commitment by you, to that child. You are not able to do it, Tiff.
Again, the tears began.
"But Momma, I CAN'T! That's my BABY!" she sobbed.
Linda patted her belly.
These are your babies, too. Our babies. And, as the 'father' I expect you to fulfill your parental duties. You have to decide."
"That is SO unfair!" Tiffany sulked, laying against her mother, like the child she still was.
Linda took her up in her arms
"Life IS unfair, baby." she soothed "But we do the best we can do. There is a Leopard couple out there, who wants a baby more than anything. That baby can get all of their time, their love, their attention. We can change three lives. YOU can change three lives. But it takes the most incredible kind of unselfish love that there is. If you couldn't do it, I would understand. But keeping the baby is not an option. If you are courageous enough to have your baby for another couple, I will support you. "
Linda hugged Tiffany and left, closing the door behind her. She went downstairs and made breakfast. She brought some up for Tiffany, knocking, and leaving it at her door. Hours later, Tiffany was still in her room. She was glad to see some juice and a piece of toast were gone. It was five p.m. When Tiffany came down stairs. Her eyes were red, and she looked very sad.
"I'll do it" she announced
"What, dear?"
"I'll let the baby be adopted; just don't make me kill it."
"I told you I wouldn't"
Linda picked up Tiffany, and carried her to the sofa. She held her there like an infant for some time.
"You're a very brave girl" Linda declared.
"I don't FEEL brave" Tiffany countered.
So, the weeks passed. Tiffany started her prenatal care with the doctor. Tiffany began to experience all the things that pregnancy brings; mood swings, weight gain, nausea, vomiting, cravings, and having to pee all the time. There were times Tiffany was very unsure of herself. One day, Tiffany was vomiting for the third time before 10 a.m. Her mother found her, head in the toilet. She bent to comfort her.
"Tough, isn't it Tiff" she asked, kindly
"I want to DIE!" she replied from the depths of the bowl.
"You don't...not really."
"......no."
"I didn't think so.. But I know how you feel. " Linda sat down by her daughter at the toilet.
After a time, Tiffany lifted her head.
"Tell me it gets better."
Linda smiled.
"It does, kind of. There's a point when the morning sickness ends. Then, it's sorta fun for a while."
"For....a while?" Tiffany asked nervously.
"Well" Linda said "until the end. Then your back hurts. Your ankles swell. You have to urinate almost constantly, because the baby presses on your bladder. You get tired easily, but you're so big, it's hard to sleep. Then there's the birth....."
"The....birth?" she asked, eyes big as saucers.
"Yes. Birth. The most incredible pain there is. If you can imagine a watermelon being forced through your anus, you have some idea. You forget about it....after a while."
Tiffany looked very scared.
"Momma, I don't think I can do this....I'm so frightened!"
Linda put her arm around the frightened girl.
"Never, NEVER second guess yourself. You can do it. You need to see this through. You can. It won't be easy. It never is. I'll help you through. And, by then, you'll see out babies born."
Linda and Tiffany sat together, mother holding daughter for a very long time.
That day seemed to make a difference. Tiffany seemed to bear up under the strain of her pregnancy better. She even seemed to be enjoying it. About four weeks from that day, something happened. Tiffany walked into the living room, about two p.m. Her mom was on the sofa. Linda was sweating, and looked very uncomfortable.
"Momma? You don't look so good. Are you alright?"
Linda gave a weak smile.
"Yes, I'm OK. I think it's time...."
"Time?" she asked.
"Time for our babies to be born
Tiffany smiled.
"Really? The babies are coming?"
Just then, Linda was racked by a sharp contraction. Just by looking, Tiffany knew something serious was happening.
Momma?"
At first , she said nothing. Then she spoke in measured sentences.
"Tiff, they're coming now. I'll need your help. Call 911, then wash your hands , and bring clean towels. Oh, and help me to the floor."
Once the contraction had passed, she helped her mother to the floor. Linda lay on the living room floor, a pillow under her head. Tiffany ran to the kitchen, where the cell phone was. She called for help, then went up for towels, when she heard a shattering scream from downstairs.
"Momma? Tiffany went running.
When she got downstairs, her mother was sweating heavily, her face contorted in pain.
"Momma! Momma! What's wrong?"
She looked down between her mother's legs. There was something huge coming out from between her legs. Linda grunted, then Tiffany could see a face.
"Catch her......" Linda asked, weakly.
Tiffany took the towel and waited.
"Help her out."
Tiffany could see a tiny shoulder. Gently, she helped pull the baby out, and lay it on Linda's belly. Linda smiled.
"Say hello to your daughter"
Tiffany smiled, too. There was no time to enjoy the moment. There was another baby on the way. Jyust then, the EMTs arrived, and took charge. Tiffany stayed at her mother's side. The medics compklimented Tiff for the job he had done, which made her very proud.
Two white leopard girls were born that morning. Linda had Tiffany care for them from the start. She changed them, played with them, and even did some night feedings. After a few weeks, Linda and Tiffany found themselves with a rare few minutes alone at the breakfast table. Linda had made bacon, and was reading the paper, drinking her coffee.
"Momma?"
"Yes, Tiff?" Linda replied, not looking up.
"I was so stupid! I had no idea what babies were about. I can't believe I was that dumb!"
Then she began to cry. Looking up, Linda took pity, and went to her daughter.
"Poor dear. You aren't stupid, just young! You dream, and take action. That's the great part of being young. But, you have to be careful. Decisions you make now can change your life forever. So, you have to think, and be careful.
Tiffany looked down.
"I think I've made a decision."
"About what, dear?"
"I......" then she paused "Want....to be a regular girl.....like you."
"What are you saying, Tiff?" she asked, gently
"I want to be a regular girl" she repeated
"You're talking about removing your 'boy' parts?"
She nodded her head.
"I'm....not supposed to be this way; no one is!" Then she started to cry again.
"Poor dear. If that is truly what you want, then we can see about it.
Over the next days, Linda and Tiffany spoke more. When it became clear to her that Tiffany was decided about getting reassignment surgery, Linda made some calls. From their 'girl doctor' as Tiffany called him, they received a referal to a specialist. When Linda told Tiffany, she asked.
"Are you sure, dear? This is what you want to do?"
Tiffany nodded "yes" That was all there was to it.
The day came when it was time to visit the specialist. Mother and daughter went downtown, to where all the big medical offices are. They took an elevator to an upper floor office. Linda checked them in, and waited with her. When they were called to the exam room, Linda went, too. In the exam room, Linda helped Tiffany to remove her jumper, and her shirt. She took off her underpants, and sat on the exam table. Before too long, the doctor arrived. He was an older Badger hybrid., very serious, with little half glasses. He made Tiff giggle.
"Good morning, I'm Doctor Czymboeski" he announce with great gravity.
"A Polish Badger?" Tiffany replied, trying to suppress a laugh.
"Badgers are found all over the world!" he responded "Now, lay down so we can take a look at you,"
Tiffany lay on the uncomfortable table, and raised her gown. Linda stood by her head. The doctor poked and prodded her, all the while dictating notes into a recording device. He examined her penis, which began to come out of it's sheath, much to her embarasment He looked at her scrotum, and asked questions about a lot of things. Then he felt her girl parts When he was done, he went to stand next to Tiffany and her mother.
"Well, I can see from your 'condition' that you are a complete, in tact female. You can get dressed now, and the nurse will show you back to my office."
Once dressed, they were shown down the hall to doctor's office. It was dark, and a little messy. The doctor offered them a seat, then began to explain.
"I think that you'll be a good candidate for reassignment, as we call it."
Then the doctor pulled out a diagram of the male genitalia.
This is how you....every one who has male genitals.....is built. What we do is to make an incision here (he point to the diagram) and remove the inside parts the form the penis and testes. We keep the outside skin, which will be redesigned to form your new, flat abdomen. We reconstruct you, so that you will urinate like a girl, and a part of the penis is spared, to form a clitoris, so that your sexual feelings remain..."
"Doctor, Tiffany would like to do this following her childbirth. Is that possible?" her mother asked
The Badger sat back in his chair, rubbing his pointed chin.
"Pssible, yes. Reccomended? No. Why do you want to do it that way. ?" he inquired
"It's something I want very much to do. Together. One part of my life ends, another begins. "
"I see. Yes, if you're will to go through the birth, AND the reassignment, it can be done. We'd wait a couple days, post partum, but it's doable.
There was a quiet ride home from the doctor. They stopped for lunch, then went home. Mid afternoon, Linda wanted to see if Tiffany was alright. She went to see her in her room.
"Tiffany! What.....?"
Tiffany was on her bed. She was naked from the waist down. Her penis was out of it's sheath, and fully extended.
"Don't be mad!...." Tiffany stuttered "I was just...saying goodbye....."
Linda looked down at her daughter.
"Still sure?"
Tiffany nodded her head.
"Let me help."
Linda spread some lotion on her hands. She took her daughters sex in her hands, and stroked it gently. Tiffany closed her eyes. She lay back, and purred. Wrapping her paw around the swollen organ, she rubbed the shaft, up and down. Tiffany opened her eyes.
"Put it in you...."
Linda got a sad look.
"No, dear. It's too soon after the babies. More importantly, it's wrong. It was wrong for me to let you do it the first time. No more of that, OK?"
Now Tiffany looked sad. She nodded in agreement.
"If I'm gonna be a plain old girl, I should act like one..."
"Yes. Exactly" Linda said, forcing a smile. "Now let's finish what we started here...."
So, Linda rubbed her daughter's penis, until she stiffened, shuddered, and started pulsing cum from her swollen organ. She caressed it until it stopped pulsing. Then she cleaned her up, and sat by her while she napped.
Just short of her term, Tiffany went in the hospital. Laying in the OB ward, Tiff was as scared as she had ever been.
"Momma? I can't do it...The pain is too bad."
Linda stroked her daughter's head gently.
"I know it hurts bad. They can give you something to take the edge off, but it's still bad. I'm here for you, baby." Then she thought "Baby" she laughed "I still call you that, and you're having a baby of your own."
"I'm your baby , mom. I always will be."
Linda welled up with tears. She took her daughter's hand.
"I'm here,baby...."
By 11:08, Tiffany had a beautiful leopard cub laying at her belly. It was a boy.
Linda smiled, looking at Tiffany and her cub.
"He's beautiful"
"Handsome" Tiffany corrected "Boys are handsome"
"He's going to grow up to be everything a leopard should be...."
Which started the tears. Tiffany realized she'd never be there to see him grow up, go to school, have cubs of his own. She might never se him again.She held her cub tight.
"Why, momma? Why did God do this to me?"
Linda sat back. She considered her words carefully.
"God didn't do this to you; you exercised your own free choice. Where you are, and what you did, are of your own making. Now, the way you were born, that MAY have been some of God's doing....."
Tiff looked at her mother.
"Why did he make me a freak?"
The words broke Linda's heart. Still, she knew that the question was heartfelt. So she did her best
"God......needed a special angel. Someone to bring a very special baby into this world. So he made you."
Tiffany gave her mother an odd look.
"Special ? How?"
"We may never know. That doesn't make it any less special. I just know, deep in my heart, that there is a special reason for this....that there is a reason for your cub to be here. So, I believe that you are so special! Out of all the leopards in the world, you alone received a special gift."
Linda looked down to see the Tiffany had drifted off to sleep. She pulled the cover up over the two of them, then sat by their side, and just watched them sleep.