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The blue jay tapped at his glass with with an errant, restless claw, faintly concerned that he might further scratch the glass' already notably distressed surface. He stopped, and then the only sound in the bar was the murmur of the TV in the background and the idle chatter of a group of foxes in a nearby booth. The bartender was putting things away and constantly checking his phone under the bar, presumably for the time, even though he was wearing a watch. Probably just impatient to close and go home.

Tolend started tapping at his glass again. What was this place called again? It was something pretentious, like the Silvered Glass or the Glass of Silver. One of those. Maybe. The blue jay had been distracted when a friend from work dragged him inside. It was kind of ritzy and a little too pricey for what it was. The place even had an upcharge for ice cubes. It was the kind of bar he'd have snickered at with-

Ugh. Better not start doing that to myself.

He'd probably never come back here again after tonight.

Maybe next month it would be an overpriced pizza and coffee shop. With tiny pizzas that cost twenty dollars each and affagatos drowned in burnt espresso. That'd be nice.

Uh oh. Have I had too much to drink? Starting to get morose. This is why nobody likes me when I drink. Probably why Saul took off early. All he wanted to talk about was work anyway.

The blue jay's thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating its way across the bar top where he'd forgotten it. He fumbled for it, clumsily knocking his glass on the floor in the process. It shattered, well, really it exploded into a thousand pieces. Quite spectacularly at that.

The bartender, a prim looking rat buck, looked up in whisker twitching annoyance. Tolend held up a hand in a wordless apology and answered his phone, but only after staring at the screen for way too long, trying to figure out who was calling.

"Blue?" Came the soft voice of Tolend's brother-in-law on the other end of the line. Was it ex brother-in-law now? He never stopped being family over what happened. Even if they hadn't talked in a while.

"Casper? Yeah. It's me. Um, what's up? Been a while. Since we talked I mean. Anyway, yeah, what's up?" Tolend hadn't meant for that to spill out in a jumble the way it did.

There were some rustling noises on Casper's end of the call. The blue jay tried to shoo away the gnawing doubt that was building up. Casper mercifully got the conversation restarted on his own, "You all right? You sound kind of tired." He was always such a worrier. Who ever heard of a crow with anxiety?

"I guess. Tipsy is probably a more accurate descriptor." Came the blue jay's delayed response.

"Oh. I can call back in the morning if you need me to. If you're busy I mean." Tolend imagined the crow wavering on the other end and the sudden guilt made him fumble for a response.

"No. I'm- no. You're fine. Just tell me what's going on. Okay? It's good to hear your voice." The blue jay's voice trailed off as the last part slipped out. Quite on accident. It was the truth though.

There was another long pause from Casper, a painful little beat, before he spoke again, "Oh. I dunno Blue. I got lonely and I started going through some of Arnau's stuff. My half I mean."

"Okay."

A bashful quiet. There was pronounced sniffle on the other end.

Tolend tried to put on a reassuring tone, "It's alright. I get it. I've been the same way."

"I just got really pissed and dumped the box in the trash. And I thought that was somehow better than crying. But you know, I ended up bawling and feeling guilty anyway. I just fished it all out and now it smells like wet garbage. I- can you come over and take it off my hands? I want it all to be safe, but I don't want to fucking looking at it anymore. You have the other half of his stuff anyway."

"Sure. Yeah. I can do that. I'll get a taxi and swing by on my way home. Promise."

"Okay. See you in a bit."

_Why are we acting like Arnau is dead if they never found th_e body?

Tolend replayed the worst moment and greatest mystery of his life over and over again as he helped the bartender clean up the glass, paid his tab, and hailed a cab. What had the crow said as he leapt from the high rise balcony to what was logically supposed to be his demise?

"Will you catch me when I fall?" He must have been high, squawking nonsense like he was. Maybe something terrible happened to him that night? There was a reason Arnau, speaking in incoherent circles about baby birds, took that leap. There had to be. But they never found his body. They'd treated Tolend like he was crazy. They'd declared Arnau missing. He wasn't even legally dead yet.

And hadn't Tolend heard the whoosh of wing beats as he ran to the railing? Hadn't he seen the phantom of a wild crow gliding overhead?

You fucking saw it! You know what you saw!

The blue jay pushed it out of his head. He watched people from the back of the cab and made up backstories for them to distract himself from the twisting of reality. First there was mouse in an eggshell blue suit with a briefcase. Obviously an unassuming spy, having a secret homoerotic affair with his arch-nemesis.

Next there was a cheetah walking with a golden retriever, the two of them were chatting excitedly and sipping coffee. The dog was obviously her anxiety companion. Cheetahs had terrible anxiety. Oh and they were definitely sleeping together.

Tolend occupied his mind like this until the door to Casper's fourplex apartment swung open and he was face to face with his brother-in-law for the first time in a long time. He looked skinnier. His white feathers were all ruffled. The two of them didn't saying anything for the longest time. Maybe the moment just seemed longer than it was.

"Can I come in?" Tolend chirped with a tilt of his head.

"Yeah. I have work in the morning so I can't talk too long. I'll get Arnau's stuff back into the box real quick." The leucistic crow opened the door all way and stepped aside, dark eyes mutually avoiding the blue jay's.

Why is this so hard? We're still brothers. Even if Arnau is gone. Right?

"That's fine." Tolend bit back a lot of the things he wanted to say and slipped inside while Casper shut the door. The white bird wandered into his kitchen where he started gathering things into a repurposed box of tater tots. Tolend let his eyes wander the apartment. Clean. Organized. Sparsely furnished. Casper was always a neat one. Maybe that was how he attracted all the mammals to his roost for interspecies diplomacy?

Huh. He still has that bookshelf that I dropped down the stairs when we moved him in. I remember it being more lopsided than that. Guess I haven't actually been here since-

"Hey. Wake up Blue." Tolend was broken out of his recollection by a heavy box being pressed into his clawed hands. Casper was giving him a tired look, tilting his head to and fro in a series of birdy motions, "You really gotta stop daydreaming like that. That's how you got hit by a car that one time. Remember?"

"Sorry. Been really bad about it lately." Sheepish, Tolend started back to the door as Casper opened it for him again. He was out in the hallway in a blink. Tolend stood in the doorway and lingered on the memory of the fledgling who'd showed up with Arnau to visit him in the hospital. After the aforementioned incident with the grill of a truck. That was one of the only things Tolend could remember from that year. He couldn't let this chance to reconnect get away from him. He chirped, "Hey. We should hang out again sometime. I miss my little brother, you know?"

"I know. I just need time. Whatever happened with Arnau wasn't fair to us. Plus, it's a really weird story. But it wasn't fair of me to leave you to mourn alone like that. That is, if we are, in fact, mourning." A devious look crossed Casper's features and quickly faded. From an open window in Casper's living room there was the sound of beating wings, loud enough for Tolend to hear. It made a chill run down his spine.

The leucistic crow shot a panicked look over his shoulder and back at Tolend, eyes getting misty, posture and expression growing tense. He leaned in, "There's a couple weird journals and books in there, by the way. I, uh, haven't had the heart to look at his stuff until tonight. Kind of wish I hadn't now."

"O- okay." Tolend blinked at that, not able to immediately process Casper's sudden mood swing. "Text me whenever you're ready to hang. I'd like to get a drink or-"

"I have a feeling you're gonna be calling me real soon. Maybe take up birdwatching until then. See ya."

The door slammed in the blue jay's face, leaving him more bewildered and lonely than he'd been in weeks.

An entire family of nonsense birds! It's genetic!

Even the backstory game couldn't ease the spiking anxiety and adrenaline that was surging through Tolend as he sat in the back of the taxi on his way home. The driver, a gopher, was talking to him, but it was an inane murmur of city news and personal anecdotes. The blue jay kept finding his gaze wandering to box in the seat next to him. It spoke louder than it had any right to.

Stupid box. You used to hold supermarket brand tater tots. You have no right to your magnetism. I've met chicken nugget boxes with more personality and hutzpah.

Tolend didn't remember getting into his high rise apartment. The lobby, the elevator, dropping the box on the kitchen table, or even how he got out of his clothes and landed in his bed. It was an emotional, late summer's night blur. He laid on his stomach and stared at the empty spot where Arnau should have been, resting a hand on the cool sheets there.

Where did you go? Why did you leave me here?

He dreamed he was flying that night. Tolend beat his wings, losing altitude and climbing with no clear pattern. No direction. He was clumsy, the sensation of having no control intensifying as a large shadow cast itself over him and nonchalantly descended to fly beside him.

"You have to let your instincts take over. Do what's natural, Blue." The crow moved so effortlessly. The larger corvid laughed a deep, familiar laugh, and took a steep dive. Tolend tried to do the same. He lost sight of the crow. Panicked at his own speed. He tried to stop himself, only to start spinning head over tail. Buffeted by the wind, buffeted by thoughtless wing beats, giving in to his fear as he crashed into the earth like an errant comet.

The blue jay woke up after sunrise, bleary eyed and just as anxious as he'd been when he fell asleep at two in the morning. He sent an email to the office about having food poisoning and not being able to come in that morning. If they had any issues they could send him anything they needed to or give him a call. He shot a few more off to some of the supervisors who worked under him. Just about this and that.

By the time he was up and moving around there were already a few new emails telling him to feel better. Replies from his team and the bosses above him about work. They didn't need him today.

Besides.

He was already frantically sorting through the box of Arnau's things that he'd gotten from Casper.

Most of it wasn't of immediate import. There was an old handheld game system from two decades before. Well used pencils, ground all the way down to where there might have been erasers at one point. There was a busted, budget e-reader Arnau had used in college and some disintegrating bargain bin fantasy books.

Oooh. A set of idols to the gods Arnau had shared with Tolend. How did Casper get those? Definitely needed to set up a shrine in this apartment. Eventually. They were going to do it eventually before-

Stop it.

What else?

The kama sutra for birds and other marital techniques. The blue jay put that one aside for later with an under the feathers blush. Had Casper seen that one? Yeesh.

The crow's pencil drawings were next. Thankfully none of the dirty ones involving the blue jay were mixed in with them. Those were all in the bedroom with Tolend's half of Arnau's things, along with the crows paintings. He'd been a talented artist.

Next, and maybe most surprising were a set of strange journals in Arnau's handwriting. They were full of geometric patterns and mathematics that made Tolend's head spin. And filled with the crow's observations, from the inane to the peculiar. Worrying as they might have been, Tolend didn't glean anything from them and so he eventually set them aside. He'd known about them, but he'd never pressed the crow about what was inside.

Should I have? _What the hell was my husband even doing? _What the hell was my husband even doing? I don't remember the occult being a part of our wedding vows.

At the bottom of the box there was one last book.

Birdwatching for Flightless Birds. Tolend picked it up and let out a surprised chirp when he noticed a few pieces of foreign paper pressed in between the pages. He pulled at the bundle and along with it came a small bag full of blue feathers.

Tolend read the crumpled note and shook his head when he finally finished reading the nonsense contained therein.

Am I really going to do this? I've officially lost my mind from grief. I'm a nonsense bird now.

The bluejaw saw a shadowy figure take off from the balcony, turning his head just in time to see a crow soaring away. Was it just a phantom of his imagination?

He always though he was so clever. Look at him now.

Wasting no time, Tolend began the Dance of the Flightless Bird.

To fly, one must learn to do it as a baby bird does. Awkwardly! Dangerously! Bravely! It goes without saying. You can die doing this. This is a choice you make for yourself.

Yeah. Trying to fly by leaping from a building is usually a personal choice.

Tolend quickly pulled on a shirt and some pants and shoved his keys and wallet into his pockets. He didn't want to get locked out of the apartment if he ended up surviving.

Firstly, ensure you perform this rite at a time most befitting your wise instincts. And they are wise. We are all creatures of instinct. As the wolf desires to form packs and the squirrel desires to climb, you will know the best time to take flight. Heed your instincts.

Well it was broad daylight. Perfect blue jay hours.

*Secondly, affix to yourself, on the appropriate body parts, the flight feathers of a juvenile feral bird of a species corresponding to your own. A robin cannot fly with the pinions of an eagle, after all. If you're a bat, feel free to disregard this step. *

That's animal cruelty.

The blue jay foraged around for some glue and, standing in front of a mirror, managed to properly attach the real flight feathers to his much more vestigial equivalents. Vestigial. That was a word Arnau had used a lot in the weeks leading up to his flight.

Thirdly, light incense. Whatever kind you desire. It only matters in as much as it helps you to relax and get into the mood. A stiff body or logical mind could cause you to fail. Birds are not creatures of logic.

Finding the incense was a pain in the butt. It ended up being buried at the bottom of an old moving box that hadn't been opened in two years.

Fourthly, if you are an owl or other nocturnal, pray to the Prey Moon Goddess, in her many names. She is a protector. Her night shrouds you, as it does many others. If you are diurnal, pray to the Sun, in her many names. She is the moon's fierce wife and will certainly scorch you for your insolence. You need her permission, lest you repeat the universal tale of Icarus. If you're crepuscular, pray to both of them and let them fight over you!

Remember that Sun and Moon are our constant companions. We always have our backs turned upward to them in trust. It is the Earth that would see us crash and return ourselves to it too soon.

Tolend didn't know what to pray, but he tried for several minutes. He'd never prayed to the sun before. Plenty of other gods, sure. Just not the sun. It just wasn't on his list of hip gods and goddesses. In fact he'd never even seen it on a top twenty list.

Please don't burn me? Send me an email with pointers on that, whenever you get the time. Thanks!

Fifthly, circle the nest you've chosen to fly from. Once for every cruel year of your flightless life. Make your native calls. Sing. Dance. Mimic the vibrancy of our feral kin. Naturally this step is much easier if you are younger and in good health.

The blue jay had to do his circuit thirty times. Singing a blue jay whisper-song, hopping around, and occasionally breaking into jeers, all the while knocking furniture over and making a big mess.

I look stupid. I'm insane. I'm gonna die.

By now you should look ridiculous! This is very good. Our kind are awkward on the ground and were surely never meant to plant our feet in the mud. That is the place of the mice and wolves and everything in between. We're at our most beautiful and graceful in the sky. Feel no shame in leaving the predators and prey to feast upon each other on Earth. They weigh you down.

Sixthly, with arms spread wide, leap from a very high point. A king's tower is as good as a mountain. Flap your arms and expect to fall. There is no certainty in a first flight.

Tolend went out onto the balcony and stepped up onto the railing, holding his arms out wide. Exactly the way Arnau had the night he vanished. And Tolend, fighting his desire to climb back down and be reasonable, thought of his husband. HIs painting. His poetry. His singing.

"Fucking nonsense bird." Muttered the newly minted nonsense bird.

The blue jay tipped forward, frantically waving his arms as he sped back down to Earth. The ground got closer very quickly. Tolend waved his arms as fast as he could.

I'm dead.

Lastly. Beware the grounding presence of enemies, friends, and loved ones in The Flight. They will pull you back to Earth with the gravity of their affection and anger.

Tolend caught the air under his wings and rose, barely avoiding an embarrassing crash into the concrete below. He flapped, rising even higher, darting through the air so naturally. He meant to laugh in wonder at this newfound sensation, but all he could manage was the jeer of a wild blue jay.

The world was in a dreamlike hue as the he rose to kiss the sky, fully a bird as he'd dreamed of since he was a fledgling. It was only then that Tolend realized how quiet the city was. How still the streets below him were. That where it had just been morning, the sky was now locked in a permeable twilight. There were other birds though. Birds of all varieties. Bats too!

Tolend had little time to admire his sleek new body or the watercolor hues of this dream before he was buzzed by an oversized shadow. So close that the air from it rocketing by rustled his beautiful blue feathers. He wanted to yell, but he only managed a shrill call. And then figure was on him again, this time knocking him off balance with the impact of it's bulk.

The blue jay recovered with a spin and caught sight of the figure coming at him once more. He dove sharply, only to find it diving beside him. It, being an uncomfortably familiar looking crow. Tolend rose upward and the crow followed at what seemed a casual pace. Had hostilities ceased? Was the crow just playing with him?

How high the pair managed to climb together was surely well beyond the realm of possibility for a real bird. But then, this wasn't real. Was it? The crow yelled at him over the the noise of rushing air, "Blue! It's me! Remember what I asked you? Do you remember? Please tell me you remember!"

Tolend could only manage to chirp and jeer in reply. The Arnau-crow laughed, "Don't worry, Blue! I'd tell you that you'll figure it out, but I don't think you'll be staying that long!"

Why does the guy who literally never shuts up get to be the only one who gets to talk in wonderland?

"Hey! Blue! There's only one way out of here! Remember what I asked you, because we're only leaving if we leave together!"

There was a confused jeer from Tolend and the crow started yelling again to presumably try and clarify his point, "I don't know how to say it! Just remember what the note said! I need you to ground me! Please!" There was a touch of desperation in that. And then Arnau rolled in place, tucked in his wings, and fell back down to Earth like a comet.

Tolend balked at the sight, and started gliding downward in a lazy spiral. He lost sight of the crow and by the time he saw him again he was already impossibly far away. Too far away for the speed he'd been falling at.

The ground only seemed to grow further away, repelled by the falling crow. Reality warped to extend their part in its play.

Did distance or time mean anything here?

Is this heaven?

Is it Hell?

Is this some purgatory of ceaseless flight, brought on by the fevered dreams and restlessness of flightless birds?

The repressed writer in Tolend stirred at the ideas he was getting. A theatre of the mind and body, like in those old fashioned, black and white horror serials.

Is that was this is? Some stuffy sci-fi writer's daydream? Gross!

What was it that Arnau had said before he leapt from the balcony that night? Before he vanished into thin air without even leaving a feathery smear on the concrete to prove he'd existed in the first place? The blue jay racked his brain again for the words.

"Will you catch me when I fall?" That's what that stupid nonsense bird had said.

The blue jay briefly closed his eyes, tucked in his wings, and dove. He picked up speed faster than he thought he would. Faster than he ever would have thought possible. No, this definitely wasn't possible under normal conditions. Not in the reality Tolend wanted to return to. The colors and detail bled from the world around him. He hardly even felt the wind that was tearing at him. He was a streak of blue lightning, coursing through the sky.

Tolend lived an eternity in that fleeting moment of daredevil descent. Enough that he hoped he never dreamed of flying again.

So close now. So close to hitting the falling crow. He spun, angled, and torpedoed past the crow, so close that they brushed feathers.

The blue jay rolled one last time and aimed his belly at the sky, spreading his wings as wide as they'd go. The air resistance caught him with a sharp rush.

And the crow crashed into him like a falling brick. It took all the air out of his chest and blurred his vision. The impact reminded him of the time he got hit with a car in college. At least there'd been someone to call an ambulance for him that time.

Calling and squawking, the pair of birds became a tangled blur, maintaining their momentum as they careened uncontrollably to the ground. Tolend somehow managed to get a grip around one of Arnau's legs in the tangle. He was never letting go again. The world spun around them, sky getting farther and the ground getting closer with each rotation, until the ground was all Tolend could see.

It was all he wanted to see.

Is that what made the difference in this place?

Guess this is how it ends? Fuck. I should have gone into a different major. I should have had eaten more sugar coated crickets. Maybe I should have been sluttier?

The world went dark and all movement suddenly stopped as Tolend landed hard on his back.

The blue jay's body ached all over and nausea overwhelmed him. He opened his eyes to find himself staring up into the questioning eyes of Arnau, who was straddling his waist, framed by a highrise behind him and crowned by the sun. What a perfect, completely impossible and unexplainable, picture.

Am I dead? If I'm not dead, do I slap him to make sure that he's real or do I fuck him here on the sidewalk to... also make sure that he's real?

The crow was the first one to speak, shakily, excitedly, "Uh, hey beautiful, I was just dreaming about you. Glad you caught me Blue, because my arms were starting to get ti-"

The bluejay cut off the crow's attempt at humor by pulling him close with the collar of his shirt and into the briefest of beak kisses. Then the blue jay squawked up at the larger corvid, seething, suddenly more livid than he could remember being in his life, "Goddamn you! Shut up! Do you even know what I-" Tears streamed down his beak and the white feathers of his face as he choked back a sob and forgot what he was trying to say, letting the unfinished thought slip away. Nobody would ever believe a word of this.

The crow looked uncertain, his expression betrayed all the different things he was trying to think of, all the jokes and meaningful things he could retort with to break up the tension of the moment. The perfect thing to say to apologize and make this go away. He always had something to say. And then, after a moment of hesitation, Arnau leaned back in without saying another word.

Fireworks.

The avian pair kissed again, this time without taking a break to talk. It was an achy, needy, nipping, neck craning ordeal. And it went on, oblivious to the confused stares and flashing phones of passing creatures. Oblivious to the passage of time or what tomorrow might bring.

After all, they were together again. What did tomorrow matter as long as they had today?