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A Problematic Prize

For SuperDuperDog

By Draconicon

Morris had a love-hate relationship with alchemists. On the one hand, they were eager to pay a great deal of money for the reagents that they wanted him to find, and the gardens themselves were usually relatively unguarded, particularly compared to the vaults that he had been commissioned to steal from in the past. The alchemists in question were often fat, or at least out of shape, and were merely using him as a convenience rather than risking their own heads trying to break in someplace they didn't belong.

On the other hand, they could just as often send him after little plants that had a great risk of causing him great personal problems, like the time that one of them sent him after the great Itch-Leaf of the swamps of the south. Yes, the plant did exactly as the name suggested, and it had taken him weeks to get rid of the itch along the bottoms of his paws.

This one was supposed to be a simple job, and he hoped that the client wasn't lying to him. For their sake, he hoped that they were telling him the exact truth.

Over the wall, around the fountain, and just against the greenhouse, he recited the directions to himself as he drummed his fingers on the top of the wall. One guard, usually asleep by this time of night, and well out of the way of the watchers closer to the estate. No problem. No problem as long as the plant doesn't bloom.

And what were the odds of that, this late at night?

Morris heaved himself up onto the wall, squatting down to keep a low profile. The leather-garbed wolf narrowed his eyes as he glanced across the garden. No guard, save for the silhouette of one at the far end, and that one was already opening the door to the guardhouse proper. He'd have plenty of time to gather the Smile Blossoms, as the alchemist had called them.

The barefoot wolf hopped down to the earth on the other side, his toes sinking into the soft dirt as he crouched. No reaction to his entry. Good.

As he crept around the side of the fountain, avoiding the tile pathway that led through the garden proper, he kept his ears perked and his eyes wide. Any experienced thief knew to keep aware, and he was quite experienced, even in a job that appeared to be such an easy one as this.

Still, he reached the greenhouse without worry. The cover of darkness made the dark leather hiding his white fur almost unnecessary. Almost, really, for the fact that the white fur would have shown up quite a bit more if he hadn't been wearing it. But the laziness of the guards, the fact that there was almost no security, and the fact that he'd seen nobody aside from that one departing guard made him wish that he could have done this the right way. The fun way.

Shaking his head, the wolf made his way to the greenhouse. He found the white-gold flowers that were his target, and he knelt down. He squirmed a little closer, rested his hand just below the blossoms with his fingers curled to catch it, and -

The flower stirred. His eyes widened as the petals spread, the flower itself opening up and pointing towards the moon. It caught the moonlight, and little particles began rising from the flower itself, reaching up into the air and towards him.

Oh, fuck.

That was all he had time to think before the pollen of the Smile Blossom touched him. As soon as it hit his fingers, he felt it. He felt everything, from the wind cutting across his hand to the flicking, tickling touch of his fur along the outside of his palm. He jerked backwards out of instinct, and the flower detached, cut from its step, and went flying right for his face.

Oh, that's not fair.

Then the pollen hit him full in the face. He gasped, sucking it down his nose and down his throat at the same time, and the sensitivity that had been limited to his hand spread throughout his body in record time.

The wolf was still falling backwards, flailing through the powder, when the giggles hit him. The blades of grass underfoot, the flicking, dragging feeling of his fur against his flesh, even his long hair against the smell of his back: it all added up as it moved, and his jaw went from clenched to aching as it struggled to hold back the laugh. He was still falling, too, still falling backwards, and he knew that as soon as he hit -

Thump!

He hit the ground, and though it was no harder an impact than a little stumble, he still had the air driven right out of his lungs. It just hit harder, almost like he was more sensitive to that, too. More sensitive to everything, he realized, from the simple impact to the caress of the leather against his chest, to -

Morris started rolling and immediately stopped as the blades of grass tickled him in the armpit. He whimpered with barely-suppressed giggles, biting his tongue and his lips at the same time to avoid letting anymore out, huffing through his nose as he strained to keep from making a sound. The guards might have missed the sound of him hitting the ground like that, but he doubted that they'd miss a wolf barking with laughter.

Hold it together. Hold it together.

His tail's fur didn't help, either. Whenever it so much as twitched, he could feel it tickling the backs of his thighs, making him whimper into the dirt to keep from laughing out loud. Moving his leg? Back of the knee. Twisting his leg around to get his feet under high? Calf and foot, at least, and possibly thigh if he was unlucky.

Every way he moved brought that sensitivity home, and his face positively ached as he tried to keep from grinning, laughing, and screaming all at once.

Smile Blossoms indeed.

Move. Very. Slowly.

It was his only chance to get back on his feet. What he was going to do when he finally managed that, he had no idea, but he knew that the only way that he could actually do anything was to get back up. If he stayed where he was, then the guards would eventually find him, and then...

Well, even the best of thieves could go to prison. He didn't want to put another stain on his record, so he'd like to avoid that.

Arm?

The one not pressed to the ground, obviously. As long as he moved slow, he didn't entirely tickle his armpit. He slowly raised it over his head, sliding it into position. He would have very little chance to get this right, so he had to do it the first time. If he thrust himself up with his arm on the ground, caught himself with the other one and then threw himself upright, he could just about land on his feet. What happened after that would be up to how bad his feet tickled him, but...well, it was a start.

He was just about to get his hand into position for the first slam when the wind changed. The chill breeze stopped cutting at the back of his neck and instead blew teasing fingers over the bottoms of his already-sensitive feet, and he just lost it.

"HAHAHAHA!"

The laughing scream broke through his clenched teeth as the wind grabbed him and refused to let go. He tried to roll, but the wind followed him. He tried to tuck his legs, but the movement tickled his pits and his sides, and that left him laughing worse. He kicked against the ground, and the grass joined in the fun with streaks of painfully strong tickles that lashed against the bottom of his feet.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Morris knew he needed to stop screaming, that he was going to get himself caught all too easily if he didn't do something to shut himself up, but the laughter was already unleashed and there was no putting it back in again. Every little movement tickled him more, whether it was the wind and grass at his soles, or the grass against his neck and armpits, or -

"What's going on out here?!"

The guards. He tried to stop laughing, tried to drag himself to his feet, but it was like kicking his foot through a bucket of feathers. They just kept tickling him, stroking him, teasing him. He fell right on his face, laughing up a storm, unable to stop smiling.

"Gahahahahahawd dammm iiiiiiiiiiiit!"

The guards came right for him, finding him flat on his face and laughing into the dirt until he finally stopped moving. Even then his body shook from head to toe, the giggles trying to start up again. The guards looked down at him, one of them kneeling by his face. A leather glove stroked through his fur, then pulled back.

"Looks like the Smile Blossoms got him," the guard said.

"Another one?"

"Yeah, looks like."

"Well, that means he's sensitive to everything, right?"

Morris's eyes widened at the sudden grin that leaped between the different guards. He knew that look; he'd seen it a few dozen times when he'd had to hide out in a brothel to lose them before. He reached out in a desperate crawl -

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Only for the fires of the tickling tendrils of grass along his neck to strike again. He fell over on his side, then on his back, hugging his belly as he kicked his legs helplessly.

"Yeah, he needs to be locked up for a while. For his own good, of course."

For his own good. Yeah right.

Morris couldn't even move, and even the gentle grip that the guards got on his arms and legs made him stiffen and shiver. He could feel just how tight that could get, and he knew from experience how rough the city guard could treat their prisoners. With how sensitive he already was just to the wind and everything else, he would go crazy under their treatment.

They carried him from the garden to the guardhouse, and then tossed him to the floor. He grunted as he hit the ground, thankful that there were less things to tickle him here. He was just about to get back to his feet when one guard grabbed him by the ankle, pulling him over. Yelping from the hard grind against the floor, he looked up to see a feather held just half an inch from his black-padded sole.

"So...who hired you to cross the wall, thief?"

"..."

"Heh, you better talk soon, or you'll be too busy laughing to even beg for mercy," the guard said. "The Smile Blossom will last 'til dawn, little thief. So, one more time. Who sent you to climb the wall?"

The End

Summary: Morris makes a little mistake taking on a thieving job, but a little too late to turn back now. Well, hope the guards aren't listening too closely.

Tags: M/solo, fantasy, thief, flower, drugs, sensitive, barefoot, tickles, tickling, ticklish, wolf, guards, uh-oh,