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Sometimes love comes to you from where you'd never expect it to. A routine thing, something you do several times a day, and then one day it changes your life. After a long time looking for a mate, and not finding one, like lightning out of a clear, blue sky. It hits you. And turns your whole world around. Someone I didn't even think was free to take me. Even though he pursued me very hard. And one day it all came together. And I am happy for the rest of my life. I tried so hard to find a mate, and I chased him til he caught me. And he did catch me, he had to chase me down first, but he did. And we're both very happy now. (And I have my mate and I have five 'step' sons who love and adore me. And who knew, I'm good with them. I don't try to take their Mom's place. And they are good Bears. Dad too is so happy. They're the Grandcubs he never though he'd have. And they love their Lion Grandfather so much. Yuri, the oldest is going to come into our family business when he's old enough. Rory and Dad are going to train him to one day be an Executive at CMK. The others too if they want to come into our family business.. Sergei is so proud of him.)

I had been fucking a lot, and hoping to find my true bond mate. (Truthfully, the last year or so, almost desperately) I'm a young and very attractive African Lion. I'm rich. ($600 Million in liquid assets). I am 24 and I have a lot going for me, I have good friends, a loving Dad, J.T. Kitman, CEO and owner of the giant CMK Industries, a loving older Polar Bear brother, Rory. (He's Dad's biological son, but he's a Polar Bear like our Maternal Grandfather) Rory's three years older than me, and he's been a great big brother. We've been really close for years. I wanted him to take my cherry but he wouldn't. He did set me up with someone though.

Coach Mark Carter. A big Gator. He was one of my Coaches and he and Rory had been friends when Rory went to High School. He'd talked to Rory. He told Rory he'd gotten me transferred out of his class as he was afraid he'd go after me. And Rory invited him over one Sunday afternoon. They spent a long time in the pool. Rory loves to swim and apparently so does Coach Carter. I was a bit scared at first. He's big and rough looking. Coach Carter was 7'1" like Rory. And Gators are kind of scary looking as it is. Rory went into the house for a while. Leaving me and Coach alone. He was being so kind and friendly. I relaxed a bit. I asked him if I could touch his hide. He smiled and nodded. I stroked his arm gently. I was surprised. It looks so rough, but it's really soft and though scaly they're not rough scales.. His dick though popped up hard and tenting out his wet swimsuit. I could see it as though he was naked. It too had a scaly surface. I didn't know what to say. And he smiled at me.

"Rory said you weren't wanting to stay a virgin any more" Coach said seductively. I nod. I can't speak now. His Golden eyes are looking right into mine as if he's reading my soul. "I'm nobody's pretty boy, but I'm a good guy, and I'll be good to you if you'll let me be your first, Claude" Coach said quietly. "You're ruggedly handsome Coach" I say quietly. He grins. "Masculine as Hell in fact" I mutter. His grin gets deeper. "Claude, I have to be honest with you, I've wanted you a long time now, I had you moved out of my class because I knew I'd be too distracted by you to do my job" Coach says smiling. I blush. "Even now I see you running on the track and I'm damn near mesmerized by how that ass of yours moves" Coach says, his voice deep and low. I can feel my own heat for him now. His dick is so hard now that he's actually tearing his suit. "I want in it so badly, Claude, but I'll be gentle" he says quietly. He's being so soft, seductive and caring. I know now I want him. He's wanting to make sure I'll enjoy it too. He's gonna get what he wants though, I want it too. I just have to let him know that and put myself in those big, rough hided hands now.

I lean up and I kiss him. He grins and he picks me up into his arms. Rory walks back out. "Dad's gone, Claude, take Coach to your room" Rory says grinning. "He'll be good to you Claude, he wants you badly, and he'll do his best to break you in gently and please you" Rory says joyously. "I won't take your cherry, but once it's gone, I fully intend to have you under me" Rory murrs. "But I just can't take my little Brother's cherry" he says and he leans over and kisses me. Coach grins. And we walk off.

He lays me on my bed. "We're gonna do this my way, and you'll follow my instructions, and when we're done, you'll be a happy little Bottom and a damn good one too" Coach says. "I swear I'll be gentle with you, but I have a lot to teach you, Claude" he says. And he leans down and he kisses me. I kiss him back. He's pleased. "You're a good kisser Claude" he says smiling. He strips and he's really well built. And his dick is huge. I'm not small. 14" and the usual Feline shape with barbs. Coach is easily 19". And it is wedge shaped and thick . I run my paw over the ridges on the top of it. He murrs softly. "It feels kind of neat, it's soft yet so firm" I say smiling. He grins. "A lot of guys are afraid of a Gator dick" he says smiling. "The hide is so soft" I say stroking him gently. He's grunting. "Please stop, I don't want to cum" he murrs. I take my paw off of him. "I've not had sex in a while" he says gritting those big sharp teeth. "Coach, take me, please, I wanna feel that up me now" I beg him. "Claude, I'm so damned hot, I doubt I can be as gentle now as you'll need" he says quietly. And he's leaking precum, and I move my paw and spread it around on his big Gator dick. He's grunting. He's been laying on his back on the bed. And I very quickly mount him. I slide my ass all the way down to his genital slit He's grunting softly. And I begin to move up and down on him. He's gritting his teeth, and that huge, thick tail is moving up and down, smacking itself against the bed.. "You OK" he grunts. "It feels amazing, Coach" I moan. "Claude, I'm gonna cum" he roars and I feel it erupting up me. He's panting. "Tight little Lion" he murrs. And he's really happy now. He rolls me onto my back and he fucks me easy and deep. I cuss and moan and I cum on his belly. He makes me moan and growl as he fucks me til he fills my ass again. I whimper when he pulls that fat Gator dick out of me and he grins.

We spend the weekend together. And Coach teaches me a lot. How to suck dick, and rim and damn near all he could think of that two naked males could do in bed. By the end of the weekend I know without a doubt if I wasn't underage, I'd try to bond him. I'd be his forever. He's bright and smart and hot in bed. And he's so happy and grateful that I wanted him as my first. Saturday night he told me of how hard it was to find guys who'd take him. When I tell him I'll let him fuck me whenever he wants, he tears up. And he gives me a long, slow, and deep fucking to thank me.

During the school year, we'll get together once or twice a week. Rory has started fucking me too. And he's amazing. That big Jet Black Polar Bear dick kind of spoils me. And he's a great lover. When I finally get with Dad I have to wonder if it's a family trait. He's magnificent in bed, Rory is too, and I'm great on the bottom. I saw Coach out shopping one day a few weeks ago. And he's got a cute young Bobcat lover now. His Bobcat is very much in love with his Gator. And I'm thrilled for Coach Carter. He was my first and he was an amazing lover. I have to consider myself well broken in now. He deserves to be well loved and kept happy. He's an amazing Gator stud.

My best friend, Nigel Davenport and I are very close. He knows me like no one else. I'm a Physician, I've been an Internist practicing since I was 21. I was considered a Genius. And became a full MD at age 21. I work with my Medical School Mentor, Dr Horst Grumer, a Berlin born Grizzly Bear. Horst is a great Doctor and a bright male. He's been a father figure to me as well as a professional mentor. He's a beautiful older Grizzly. Twinkling Blue eyes and his hair and beard are shot through with Gray. And he's so happy these days.

I'd of tried to bond him but like me he's a bottom. I introduced him to a guy I'd been dating but couldn't bond. And Jeb bonded him. Jeb Wallace is a big old Texas born Redneck Lion, he's a machinist and a good ole boy type. He's so much in love with Horst. As Horst is with him. That was in my 'date Claude and find the love of your life' period. I'd just start to get close to a guy, and they'd fall for someone else. And I'd go through that embarrassing call or last date. It lasted for a year and a half and I didn't think I'd survive it. But when I see Jeb and Horst together I find I don't regret it much anymore. Well, except that I want someone who'll love me like Jeb loves Horst.

Rory bonded himself a big ole Grizzly Bear. Teddy Mitchell runs a little Gay bar called the Bear Den. Lot's of hot guys, big males of all species hang out there. Most of them are the 'muscle gut' types that make me hot. I get a lot of sex from them. Damn good sex too. I'm popular for a lot of reasons. (Most gay Lions are tops, like my Dad, I'm the rarer Lion Bottom.) A few are very memorable. But I don't bond any of them, and some I date anyway. (OK, date as in fuck regularly) And I have a lot of fun but I'm kind of lonely at times. (OK, I know I'm a bit obsessed about finding a mate)

Nigel bonded someone right out of Medical School. Nigel's an Endocrinologist. His Miguel Montoya is a big, Castilian Bull. Cuban born and he's solidly built. And massively hung. And he has the sweetest nature. A gentle giant for sure. And they love each other so much. 7' Miguel towers over Nigel. My Badger best friend is barely 5'10". They do make a cute couple though. Miguel is a plumber. And he's a happy, joyous soul. They've been together for five years now. I'm happy for Nigel, he's very much in love, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling envious. (And I don't lie, don't seem to know how) Miguel came to fix a leaking sink at Nigel's office, they saw each other and fell for and bonded each other immediately.

Me, I'm 6'4", 225 pounds. I have Dad's Sapphire Blue eyes. As does Rory. In fact, I am a slightly smaller, younger version of my Dad. Fine with me, at 45 my Dad is still an amazingly hot and stunning looking Lion. Dad's single and a real horn dog of a Lion. Dad can find willing bottoms anywhere he goes. I am a lot like him. I have no trouble finding tops to fuck me, it's only when I want something more that I fail to find anyone. I've been looking for a mate since I was 17 and entering my Internship. But 'Mr Right' seems to avoid me somehow. (Jonas White, my therapist tells me I'm trying too hard. That I should let go and just live my life and love will come when it's supposed to. He might be right. But he's another one with no room to talk. He's a big English St Bernard who's been with his younger Cougar lover for 20 years. SIGH.)

Rory and Teddy invite me into their bed frequently. Rory's my favorite top, and Teddy though a mostly bottom Versatile, can't seem to get enough of my ass. I'm always hot for my Polar Bear brother. Dad was a little less than happy when he found out Rory and I were fucking, but he got over it quickly once he too had a turn at my ass. Now he'll want me at least once a week. Rory and Teddy are trying to keep me from being lonely at night. But I feel a bit of guilt. I know they care, but I'm afraid of interfering with their relationship with each other. Though I have to admit to feeling very comforted sleeping between those two big Bears. (I have to wonder if they've not skewed my tastes towards Bears in general. Most of the guys I let pick me up at the Bear Den are Bears of one kind or another. Nigel teases me about being a slut for Bears)

I'm having a busier than usual day at the office. I haven't had time for lunch as I keep getting called over to the University Hospital ER. I know it's my week for Day Call on our service. But between that and my own patients I'm going crazy. I'll be happy when Six PM comes and the group assigned to Nights takes over. At 5:30PM I get called back. A Russian Envoy is there trying to clear the way for one of the Associate Ambassadors who's ill. I'd of been called anyway even if I was not on call because I am fluent in Russian, and they want a Russian speaking Doctor to see him. (I took it to help a guy I'd met in School, I was able to help him stay in school when his family couldn't keep him here and in college. Vladimir Breshnikov is about to graduate with his MD and Horst and I have asked him to come into our practice. And he's agreed. He's a big Grizzly with a kind and tender bedside manner. I'd of tried to get him, but he's in love with a sweet natured younger Tiger, he did agree to move in with us so we could take care of him.)

Sacramento being the state capitol of California has a small Russian Embassy. There is no full Ambassador but several Associate Ambassadors and one Assistant Ambassador. They do a lot of business with Silicon Valley and they are mostly involved in trade with the State of California. This Envoy is a prissy little Fox and he's being very dismissive of me. I'm not too happy. And I tell him when his Ambassador comes I'll treat him like any other patient. I tell him I have a few Russian speaking patients anyway. I'm a bit annoyed that they dragged me over here before he came in. He's just an Ambassador. And an Associate Ambassador anyway. Hell, he's a patient, I'll give him my best no matter who he is. And I sit in the ER break room and wait for him.

I'm kind of lost in thought for a bit. I had a bad date last night. I'd been dating Dr Paulie Christopher for the last six months, and I thought things were getting serious with him. I asked him how he felt about bonding last night. Only to be told he had no intention of ever settling down. He's working for a big Pharma company and he's focused on his career and has no intention of settling down ever. I felt like a fool and I got into a bad fight with him. It was why he'd never mentioned it. He knew I'd be mad, and he liked me and didn't want me to stop seeing him. He never led me on, we never talked about any sort of a future together. It's why I finally came out and asked him.

I was angry at him for not telling me he didn't want to settle down. I'd of still dated him. Just not got that much involved with him. It really hurt, because Paulie, like my brother Rory, is everything I'd want in a mate. Charming, funny, warm, great in bed, good looking, masculine and caring. And that Red Kangaroo will never be mine, nor belong to anyone at all. In fact though, I am embarrassed at the hissy fit I threw. He never talked about going any further with things other than just dating, and having great sex. And he was great sex. And fun both in and out of bed. And I ruined things because I was so focused on getting a mate. I could have kept dating him. But after I got so mad, and with how badly I acted, I could never face him again. I am ashamed of myself as much as mad at Paulie. (He's not as mad at me as I'd of figured, he calls me after he finds out I got Sergei, and he'll congratulate me, and beg Sergei to let him still fuck me. Sergei is happy Paulie came to him like that, and lets us. He'll spend a night with us once every 2 weeks. And he was so impressed with my Polar Bear, he even gives Sergei some Roo ass while he's here)

I went home very upset. Dad was sympathetic but he was chiding me for getting too involved and being too focused on finding a mate. I can't argue back, as he's right. Rory has talked to me about that too. No matter how much I have going for me, guys can sense my desperation to find a mate. It hurts and I know I have to stop this. I have to say fuck it. And literally just do that. Fuck guys and if I end up alone, then I end up alone. Finding a mate isn't worth the pain, and the tears and the effort. I'm no closer than I was when I started all of those years ago.

I've been thinking it all out since I came home from Paulie's place last night. It's time to give up for now. I'll be fine, just let guys fuck me, and work and I can still be happy. I have family and a few good friends. And I love my practice, and my patients love their Lion Doc. I don't have to be lonely until I find 'the one'. If I ever do.

One of the nurses interrupts my train of thought by telling me the Associate Ambassador has arrived. "He's in Room #6" Chris tells me. Chris is a large built Ox and a great ER nurse. "He's not that sick, he has a fever, and an elevated White count, but I think he's just got a mild infection" Chris says. I laugh. I go into Room #6. And I'm stunned when I see him for the first time.

Laying on the bed, his hefty body barely covered by one of our skimpy gowns, is a huge Polar Bear. He's bigger than Rory, he's got to be at least 7'4", and 360 pounds. He's smiling but he'll grimace every once in a while. And he's gorgeous. Shining Deep Green eyes set in a broad, open face, and a big smile. Massive paws and foot paws. His White fur is thick and lush and he's stocky with a pot belly, but the rest of him is solid muscle. This Bear has short Black hair, and a Black chin strap goatee. He's an impressive male for sure. He's a whole foot taller than me. And he's the most beautiful male I've ever seen. He's the only Polar Bear I've ever seen more beautiful than my Rory.

The Envoy is firing questions at me and I'm getting annoyed. "Hush, Vassily" the Polar Bear grunts. "I am sorry to be such trouble" he says. His voice is deep and sexy, kind of rumbly. "I am Dr Sergei Rachalov" he says softly. I smile. And I ask him some questions trying to pinpoint what is wrong. He keeps looking at the Envoy. "I think I need to see him alone" I tell the Envoy in Russian. He fusses until Sergei tells him to leave. He leaves with a very sour expression. But Sergei does tell me it hurts when he pees and intermittently, and he's had fever and chills at times this morning. His temp is 101.2 degrees. And he is afraid of something. I check the chart. Chris gave him some Tylenol for the fever, and drew blood cultures and did urine cultures.. Good.

I ask him about his last few sexual partners. He blushes. "I am married" he says firmly. I roll my eyes. He laughs. "Dr Rachalov, anything you tell me is confidential, I can't tell anyone, not even your wife" I say softly. "I can't help you if I don't know what it could be" I say quietly. "I am Bi, pretty Kitty" he says smiling. "I have fairly frequent sex with a few steady males I know, I hope I have not caught something from one of them" he says softly. I pull up his gown and I gently squeeze the tip of his penis. It's huge, Jet Black and poking out of it's sheath. There is a milky discharge from the tip. I take a swab and I send it to the lab. But I know what it is. He's blushing and he's hardening up. I let go of his dick. He's blushing big time now. "Any other time I would love for you to handle me there, pretty Katya" he rumbles. "It stung a bit and it does when I pee, I could not tell them why or where I hurt" he says blushing. I smile. He's so adorable when he blushes. I could fall for this big Russian Polar Bear. Too bad he's married. "I think I know what's wrong, Dr Rachalov, not really anything to worry about" I say smiling. He relaxes. I check the computer. No C&S could be back yet but the gram test would be. Sure enough. It's gram positive bacteria in both blood and urine. He's had it a while, and it's just now making him symptomatic. It must have just gotten to his blood stream now. Not too bad. A ten day course of antibiotics and some Tylenol for the fever.

"Dr Rachalov, you have a Urinary Tract Infection, probably picked up from a partner, it's not truly an STD but it can pass from animal to animal that way" I say smiling. "He'd be asymptomatic, but could pass it on to you if you had unprotected anal sex with him" I say quietly. "I'll give you Augmentin for 10 days and it'll be gone" I say smiling. "You probably should refrain from sex til the pills are gone" I say smiling. "I cannot make 10 days without sex" he rumbles sadly. "I am lucky to go 10 minutes" he says smiling. He's so matter of fact about his horniness I have to laugh. "Katya so pretty when he laugh" he says looking into my eyes. I feel warm all over when he fixes me with his eyes. "It would be OK if you used a condom" I say smiling. He grins. "You just want to protect your partner" I say smiling. He's still looking intensely into my eyes. "You such a beautiful Lion, Dr Kitman" he murrs. I flush. He's smiling. And he's so beautiful, and so damned seductive. "You have the most beautiful, and unique eyes I've ever seen, Dr Kitman, they sparkle like Sapphires" he says seductively. "They make me hot for you" he says shyly. My tail starts thrashing despite my best efforts to stop it. A thrashing tail is a dead giveaway with us Big Cats. Means we're sexually excited. I want him a lot, and I'm sweating up a storm too. It hasn't escaped his notice. He's watching my tail thrash and smiling gently. He knows I want him as much as he wants me. Even if it's just to fuck.

We're in a busy ER room and I have to admit I'm debating going on my back and letting him fuck me. I can feel a pull to him. And then his wife walks in. She's a pretty Polar Bear female and she's looking sternly at him. "What does he have?"she asks me in Russian. "A Urinary Tract Infection" I say softly. "It is sexual disease?" she asks. "No, Mrs Rachalov, it's a common bacterial infection, it can be passed through sex but it's not an STD" I say softly. "There are many other ways to catch it, most involve no sexual activity" I say quietly. She looks at me and smiles. "He is most horny Bear" she says looking at me calmly. I write him a prescription for Augmentin and one for her. And I explain in Russian to her why she needs to take them too. She nods. She laughs. "I took them for Acne once, I was thinking of asking my Doctor for them again, you've saved me the trouble" she says. "Your face looks clear now, and is rather beautiful" I say smiling. She laughs. "I break out around time for my period" she says. I nod. "Maybe hormonal therapy would help?" I ask. She looks at me. "Such as?" she asks. I open the computer in the room and I show her some Medline entries on menstrual related acne flare ups and how they're treated now. She smiles. I take my pad and I write for the meds. And I hand them to her. She kisses me. Sergei looks happy too. (He first started thinking of me in a more than sexual way at that point. He knew he thought I was hot, but he was touched how kind to his wife I was and how I was trying to help her. As he'll tell me later, he was impressed that I knew I wanted him, and yet I was being kind and caring to the woman who 'had him', in other words my rival for his affections.)

"Make sure you both take the Augmentin til they're all gone or they won't help" I say smiling. Damn they seem to be happy together. I think I could fall for him and he's happily married. They leave. And I go write it up and dictate the discharge paperwork. And I go home. I'm thinking of Dr Rachalov all of the way home. I'm curious as to how those big forepaws of his would feel touching and stroking my body. And how it would feel to look up into those beautiful Green eyes as he fucked me. And how it would be to feel that big muzzle and those soft lips pressing against my lips as he kissed me. (I've got it bad for him already.)

I get home and I look out onto the patio, and I see Rory from the back and I'm momentarily confused. But my Brother is smaller than Dr Rachalov, but just as sexy and handsome. I guess I must be really turning into a slut for Polar Bears. Rory's kind of moving slowly and he walks out of my sight. I go change into shorts and get a Diet Pepsi and I go out onto the patio.

Rory's in the pool. He's tired, he had a busy day at CMK where he's Dad's COO. Dad's on a business trip and Rory always works hard anyway. But when Dad's gone, Rory has to work harder still. He's tired enough that he hasn't gone to be with Teddy at the bar. I sit on the edge of the pool and I massage his thick neck and shoulders. He loves that when he's tired. He's murring as I rub him. "Thanks, Claude, that feels so much better" he moans. I keep rubbing his back and shoulders.

Rory turns and kisses me. And he holds me tightly. I encourage him to tell me how bad his day was and he opens up and lets it all out. I keep stroking his chest and shoulders while he vents. And he looks a lot more relaxed. He kisses me. "I'm so glad you love me so much, Claude" Rory says softly. "I do, Rory, a lot" I say smiling. Rory picks me up into his arms and he carries me to his room.

He lays me on his bed and he lays on top of me and we kiss a bit. And he pushes his huge Polar Bear dick up me. And I find myself thinking of Sergei and his huge Polar Bear dick. He's bigger than Rory. Not that Rory has anything to be ashamed of. We kiss as he fucks me in his usual masterful way. I wrap myself around him And I moan and cuss and growl as he works my ass. I yowl and I cum on his belly. And he's grunting hard. "You squeeze me so tightly" he murrs and I feel his usual gush of cum up me. Holding me tightly he kisses me repeatedly. "Claude, you always know how to make me feel better when I'm down and tired" Rory says happily. "Because I love my Polar Bear so much" I say quietly.

He rolls off of me. And for some reason I tell him about Sergei. He smiles. "Married or not, sounds as if you really like him, Claude" Rory says softly. "You do like us Bears" he says proudly. "I'd be happy if I could get him, but he is married and I met his wife, and his history shows they have five kids" I say quietly. "But he admitted to being attracted to you, and he got something from fucking someone else" Rory says quietly. I laugh. "I see your point, Bro, I could fuck him, and nothing else, good test for my new determination to quit trying to find a mate" I say happily. Rory kisses me.

"Claude, I have to admit, I'd be kind of proud if you ended up with a Polar Bear like me" he says. "You've always loved this one an awful lot" Rory says kissing me. "I have, as long as I've known you, I've loved you, Rory" I say softly. Rory grins. "I love you, Claude, you have always been there for your Polar Bear brother" Rory says. "I'll fuck him if he wants me, same as I'll be under my favorite Polar Bear" I say kissing Rory. "Claude, I feel a lot better now" he says kissing me back. "I'm gonna clean up and go spend some time with Teddy" he says happily. And he gets up and goes in to shower. I get up and wander down to my own room. I'm glad I could help Rory feel better and it makes me feel better in turn. I wonder if I'm hot for Dr Rachalov because he's a bigger, Russian born Rory. He was so damned seductive though. I know he wants me but I think he just wants up my ass, and I'd settle for that since it's all I can expect from him.

Alfred calls dinner and I go eat. Nigel and Miguel and I are the only ones home to eat. Vladimir is out on a date with his Jerry. And Dad's on his business trip. Rory has gone to the Bear Den. Usually Alfred sends him some dinner or a box lunch so Teddy can eat too. I tell Nigel and Miguel about Sergei. Nigel laughs. "I think you like that Polar Bear, you've kind of gotten hot for Bears of late" Nigel says laughing. "Well, a slut for him is all I can be, he's married with kids" I say quietly. Nigel gives me 'that look' but doesn't say anything. He knows I want more from this Russian Polar Bear but that I am aware I can't get anything but fucked by him. And he'll keep an eye on me. I know how he is. He'll watch me and try to help if I try to get more from Dr Rachalov. Or be prepared to help me pick up the pieces of my heart if I do and make a fool out of myself. (Which isn't unusual.....SIGH)

After I finish dinner, I go take a shower and I go to bed. It's not late, but I have to be up earlier than usual. I am subject to being called at 6:01AM in the morning. And it's better to be up and showered and dressed and ready to go. I wake up at 5AM and I shower and I put on underwear and a robe and I go out to breakfast. Alfred's up. He's having his tea and he's got coffee and a light breakfast for me. He only does that when I'm on early call like this. Otherwise he'd not start breakfast til 7AM. He's usually up but this is his time. He'll drink his tea and eat a little something and finish planning his day. I stay quiet and let him do his usual thing. Alfred's been with us since Rory was born. He's been our Family retainer and a surrogate Father as well. Alfred Featherstone is a Red Fox, about 5'10" and he has shining Green eyes. And he's just now turned 42. (One more thing about Alfred, all of his family are seers, and they just know things, best to just accept what he tells you, if he feels he can tell you)

"Claude, you have learned to quit trying to push things, and wait for your mate to come to you?" he asks. "I did, too many times being hurt because of my own impatience, Paulie was the last straw, I can't keep doing that to myself, Alfred" I say softly.

"This is good, you will find a mate one day, I know" he says smiling. I nod. I don't want to know. He probably does know, and I'm willing to bet he knows who and when, and I'm not sure I want to know now anyway. Alfred looks into my eyes. "It is a Bear, but I will not tell you what kind or who, know only that your life mate is a Bear" Alfred says with a twinkle in his eye. I smile. "Thank you, Alfred" I say, and I stand and kiss the top of his head and I get my briefcase and I go to the office. I get busy on paperwork for the insurance companies and Medicare and get a lot done before anyone else comes in. I've got mine and Horst's caught up and on our office manager's desk by the time she comes in. And I get a call to come to the ER. So I go.

I'm busy there for a while. Mild problems that animals wait too long to get seen for, folks with no insurance or that can't get an appointment soon enough. I'm glad it's Friday. I won't cover this weekend. Some one else will. I've light scheduled today as far as appointments are concerned. I have three for today. If I can't get free, Janice my office manager will see if they'll come here to see me. Usually they do. Horst can take my last appointment if I have to have him do so. This is mostly Doctor's office stuff. But it gets billed at ER prices. It's insane. We could see all of the uninsured if the government would pay it, it'd cost them way less down the road than it does now. But I'm just an Internist. I've sponsored a few poor patients who need a lot of expensive care. I keep it quiet as I don't want to be besieged with animals begging for help. Even as much money as I have I can't fix it all. I can't help more than a few at a time, the worst cases at that. It was a hard lesson to learn.

Fortunately for me. Folks don't think I'm one of 'those' Kitmans. They don't think a Lion as rich as I am would work as hard as I do. So they mostly think I'm a 'poorer relation' of the high and mighty Kitmans. We're really not that way at all. Rory and I are down to Earth. Dad's a big business animal as is Rory, so we get a certain amount of notoriety. But we're not snobs. Dad was happy to accept Teddy as Rory's mate. He likes Teddy and he's proud that Teddy built up the Bear Den by himself and paid back all of his loans early. Dad has told me he didn't care who I bonded if they really loved me and were good to me, he'd accept them.

I'm able to get back to the office for my first two appointments. Both are long time patients and I like seeing them. I take the first one as soon as she gets here. It's easy to handle this. She's not really sick. She just wants a medicine review. And I am able to do it quickly. I do change one of her meds. There is a generic for it now and it'll save her quite a bit of money. You have to think of those sort of things. I wouldn't have but Horst told me I should and he keeps up with it. Funny the things you don't think about growing up with money.

I see the second patient. He's feeling well now, but it's a chronic thing. I have his usual labs done. And we talk about his meds. He actually looks good. We do have a few FLV patients like him.(Feline Leukemia Virus) He's a young Panther who got the susceptibility to the virus from both parents. The gene a dominant one and easily passed. He's already decided not to have kids. And he's philosophical about it. If I hadn't of seen him Horst would have. We're both attached to him. He knows he has little chance of living beyond, say 45, if he and we are very lucky. But he knows Horst and I will do all we can. And he's a pretty well adjusted all things considered. We've been seeing him since I started practice and this is the longest he's gone without an exacerbation. He has mine and Horst's cell numbers if something goes wrong after hours. I'm lucky, I was born FLV negative, and I know I would not have coped like Jimmy has. He's had to deal with this since age 5. His parents are even now, still wracked with guilt over passing the susceptibility to him. Some times I'm still amazed at how much some animals cope with, and how well they cope. I know when the time comes, I'll fight like hell to keep Jimmy alive and comfortable. Horst will too. We're impressed as Hell with him. Horst spends time looking through Medical journals and websites looking for advances in treatment for FLV.

He leaves and I sit and spend some more time on write ups and paperwork. My receptionist, Jeanie, knocks on my door and hands me a package that was just messengered to our office. The note with it is in Russian. "I saw this today, and it reminded me of your beautiful eyes, Katya, I'd like to see you when my treatment is over, Beautiful Lion" it says. And I open the box. It's a beautiful and rather large Sapphire and Diamond ring in a Platinum setting and with a wide band. There is a card at the bottom with his cell number in it. "Please don't give this number out, it is for my personal, private calls, Katya" it says. I'm kind of thrilled between this and him calling me Katya. Katya is Russian for 'my dear little kitty', and it is a term of endearment. I put the ring on. Jeanie is smiling. "Someone likes you a lot, that's a fancy and expensive ring" she says. I smile. "You know you don't wear jewelry, you could afford it but you rarely wear it" she says smiling. "Just don't think about it often, but I will wear this ring, he was right it does match my eyes" I say holding it up. "It does, it's almost the exact same color" she says. I smile and put the note and the card into my wallet.

When she leaves I take my cell out and I put his number in it. And I call him. I get his voice mail. And I tell him in Russian I'd hope he will let me know if he wants to be seen again by me. Trying to keep it neutral hoping he'll know what I mean and anyone else might think I was just calling to check on him as a patient. I'll thank him for the ring next time I see him. And I know I will see him. I'll be under him as soon as I can arrange it. I really want that big Russian Polar Bear to fuck me. Even if some hot fucking is all that can ever happen with us. He likes me for sure, as this is an expensive ring. My reverie is interrupted by a call from the Hospital ER. I have to go back. I tell Horst to go ahead and see my third patient. She won't mind, she'll usually see which ever one of us is open and available.

I go to the ER. I"m busy for a while with patients. The ER clerk notices my ring and makes a big fuss about it. "Decided to wear jewelry now?" she asks. "It was a present from an admirer" I say casually. And I try to downplay it. "It's an expensive ring" Chris says smiling. "Was it that Polar Bear, Dr. Rachalov?" he asks in a whisper. I nod. Chris grins. "He's rich, he has moved to America, he and his wife and kids" Chris says. "He asked me out for when his UTI treatment is finished" I say softly. Chris grins. "I know you'll go out with him, even though you can't date him or bond mate him" Chris says. I smile. I know I can't. (Shows how little I do know though. First time my Sergei kisses me I go down like a dropped safe)

I get busy and do my paperwork on the patients I've seen. And I write up scripts and discharge orders for some. And there is a lot of commotion. An Ambulance crew is bringing in a big Grizzly who was in a bad car wreck. He's muttering and not responding to the ER staff. And he speaks up and I know he's speaking Russian.(Sacramento has a large population of Russians, I'm glad, my Russians make my life so much better.) He's begging to know if his wife is alright. I walk over and I tell him I understand Russian. And he begs me to find out if his wife is still alive, they won't tell me anything, he tells me, his voice full of panic. I ask them about his wife. "She's OK, she'll be in in a bit, just a few minor injuries, Dr Kitman" the EMT tells me.

I explain in Russian. He grabs my paw and kisses it. I stay and translate for him. He's a cute big Bear. And when his wife comes, his eyes light up. He tells me he can bear his own pain now that he knows she is well. And the love in his eyes for his wife brings tears to mine. She thanks me for staying with him. "He forgets his English when stressed, Doctor" she tells me smiling. "He couldn't make himself understood and he was very upset until I found out how you were for him"I say softly. She leans down and kisses his cheek. "He loves me" she says proudly. He's a mess but he'll be OK, he just needs time for all of the broken bones to heal. It's nice to see a couple so much in love. He had to be hurting badly, but he could not rest until he knew she was alright. I know in my heart that's the way I want to be loved. I want someone to be as devoted to me as this big, Russian Grizzly is to his wife. She sits at his bedside and they talk a bit. I start to tear up and I walk away.

I walk out and finish my charts and I leave for home. I go to my room and I change clothes. I put on shorts and a tank top. And I go to the living room. Teddy is home, he must have wanted a night off, he's got guys to cover for him at times. He is sitting on the couch watching a ball game. I sit by him. Teddy kisses me. "Thanks for helping Rory yesterday, he told me when he got there last night, he'd of gone to bed from fatigue" Teddy says. I know Teddy likes having Rory there on slow nights.

I snuggle into my brother in law. "Where'd you get the ring from?' he asks. "That Russian Polar Bear sent it to my office with a note asking to see me when he is done with his treatment" I say softly. Teddy laughs. "Rory told me about him last night, he thinks you want him, married or not" Teddy says kissing me. I nod. "I think I might, Teddy, even if it means I only see him once in a while" I say softly. "Claude, you know that will lead to a lot of pain down the road, he'll always have to go back to her, and you're just neurotic enough you'll feel guilt over his being with you and not her" Teddy says softly. "I know, and I'll talk to Nigel and then Jonas soon, I can't see him until he's finished his antibiotics anyway" I say softly. "That gives me ten days to figure things out" I say softly. "Think about it" Teddy says.

"Teddy, I'm so glad you love me, and that you love Rory so much, you make him so happy" I say kissing him. "He loves you, Claude, he thinks you're finally figuring things out, you have decided to back off of finding a mate, and he's hoping you're thinking things out where this Russian Polar Bear is concerned" Teddy tells me. "He's flattered though, he's happy you are interested in a Polar Bear like him, but he'd rather you found one who's completely available to you if you do fall for him" Teddy says quietly. I nod. "He's interested in you for sure" Teddy says fingering the ring on my right paw finger. "That's not a cheap ring" Teddy says. "I know, I priced it online, and I must mean a lot to him,Teddy, it's a $17,500 ring" I say quietly. Teddy smiles.

I think a bit. It's odd. An expensive ring. He could be just trying to influence me to sleep with him. But he said he had plenty of other guys to play with. This is a lot to give someone if you want them to just let you fuck them. What could he want from me? I know what I want from him, though I know I can't get it. I envy his wife so much. I'd love to know I belonged to him. But this is not productive thinking. I can't belong to him as I want to. Best I could be is his 'piece on the side' on a regular basis. And I think I might be able to deal. Fuck others, live at home, keep busy with my work, and run to him when he can see me. SIGH.

"I think, from the look in your eyes, you'd accept him, just see him when he called you and you both had free time" Teddy says. "Do you think you could be happy just being his piece on the side?" Teddy asks. I sit and I think about it for a while. "I think you're right, I would, I'd work and I'd fuck others and I'd see him when I could, and know I loved him" I say softly. Teddy kisses me. "As long as you're not trying to fool yourself, if he really does love you, you might be able to deal with it, you're a lot stronger than folks think you are" Teddy says softly.

"Your Dad wouldn't be happy with that" Teddy says. "Dad has not bonded anyone either, he's fucking everyone he can get his paws on, I'll do that too, and have my Polar Bear" I say softly. "But he won't be mine will he?" I ask. "Not really, not permanently, Claude" Teddy says gently. "I'll have to think about it, and I might even be jumping to some massive conclusions, maybe he just wants in my ass." I say smiling."If he knows who you are, he'd know an expensive bauble wouldn't influence you" Teddy says. "A lot of my patients don't know if I'm really one of 'those Kitmans' or if I'm just a distant relative, if they know the name." I say softly. "I'll figure it out or I'll ask him if he knows me, I just left a message for him" I say quietly.

My cell rings. "Speak of the Devil, Dr Rachalov is returning my call" I say and I get up and I go into the dining room and take his call. "Katya, you wish to see me again?" he says joyously. "I would like that" I say. "I wanted to also thank you for the beautiful ring, it matches my eyes perfectly" I say softly. He laughs. "I did see it and it made me think of your beautiful eyes" he says joyously. "I need to ask you a few questions, Dr Rachalov?" I ask. "Call me Sergei, if I may call you Claude" he murrs. "Alright, Sergei" I say softly."What may I tell you, Katya?" he asks.

"Do you know who I am?" I ask. "You are Dr Claude Micheal Kitman II" he says softly. "I know who you are, or more importantly I know what you have, you are worth much in American dollars, but so am I" he says quietly. "You are the son of J.T. Kitman, you have a brother, Rory Micheal Kitman, who is a Polar Bear such as I am" he says happily. "Vassily, my Envoy had you checked out, it was not at my direction, but it was done anyway, I only wished for a Russian speaking Doctor" he says. "I am....I have..I do not wish to brag, but I am worth more than you are" he says firmly. "I know you might wonder if I tried to bribe you into sleeping with me" he says sharply. "I really did think that ring was like your beautiful eyes, Katya" he says quietly. I'm purring without realizing it. "You purr for your Sergei?' he asks. I blush. "Sergei, I feel something for you, but you are married, I am trying to figure out how I feel about that" I say gently. Sergei laughs. His deep laugh makes my fur goose bump. I'm glad he's not here to see it.

"What would your feelings have to do with me being married?" he asks laughingly. I'm embarrassed. "You Americans are funny" he says. "I am married, I have five sons, I am Bisexual, and I am happy with my life" he says softly. "Why would you......ah....I see" he murrs. "This is more than I would have expected, Katya" he says joyously. "You love your Sergei, in that short time in the hospital you fell for this Polar Bear." he says happily. "And as you are moneyed, even if not as much as I am, you do not want this Polar Bear for what he has, but for who he is" Sergei says happily. "I can hear it in your voice, you wish me for me" he says joyously.

"Katya, you must think now, what is it you wish from being with me, I have many responsibilities, and I have a family" Sergei says firmly. "I've thought about it a bit, Sergei, with the help of some of my own family" I say softly. "Did you, Katya, what did you decide?" he asks. "I think if I had to, I could just live my life, seeing my Bear when he could see me, in stolen moments, I could not do anything to hurt you, or your wife and sons" I say quietly. "You would do this for me, Katya?" he asks. "You would give up so much to be with me?" he asks calmly. "I think I would, Sergei, I think I am madly in love with you" I say quietly. He laughs. I flush. I'm trying not to get angry. "I did not ask for you to love me" he says softly. "I don't recall saying that you had" I say archly. "You are angry with me, Claude" he says firmly. "What do you expect?" I ask. "I didn't ask you to love me, indeed, I never said you did, I didn't set out to fall for you, but I did, and if it complicates your life that much, I'll work on forgetting you" I snort and I hang up.

I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I may have just blown my only chance at happiness. I do have Dad's temper at times. He's closer than anyone else to what I have always wanted in a mate, and with my luck, he's not free to take me. And he doesn't sound like he wants me for good anyway. I guess he did just want a piece of Lion ass. And it feels like someone just stuck a knife into my heart.

I go to my room and I lay on my bed and watch TV. I watch an old movie. One of those 'screwball' romantic comedies. They fight and bicker and spar and they get together in the end. If only life was like that. I try to put Dr Sergei Rachalov out of my mind. I'm not in a mood to talk to anyone. I know I do need to talk to Nigel soon. And I debate calling Jonas. But he hates being called after 11PM so if I do I have to do it soon. I figure I'd best get starting on moving forwards, and I call Jonas. I explain it all to him. He laughs at me. I bristle but from Jonas I have to take it.

"You know so little about him" Jonas says. "So. bonding is biological I don't know yet if I might bond him or not" I say. "If he is bonded to his wife, then he might fuck you and be happy, but never be in love with you" Jonas reminds me. "I know that, and I know this is probably me trying too hard to find a mate as well" I say softly. "Claude, tell me why you think you do love him?" Jonas asks. And I go down my list of why I think I do love Sergei. "Interesting, you're basing it on how he makes you feel, instead of what you think you want or whether he'd be acceptable as a mate" Jonas says quietly. "Which means what?" I ask. "No matter how it ends up, you're doing much better, you were serious about trying to wait until it's right" Jonas says. "You're showing me that you're thinking it out properly, trying to sort out how you feel, based on what you want, instead of what you think might be acceptable." he says proudly. "It is progress Claude, you may hurt, but you ought to be a bit proud of yourself, I am" he says softly.

"What do I do now?" I ask plaintively. "What we talked about, keep on going with your life, and accept that if it's meant to happen, if you're meant to be his, you will be, if not the right one will come along one day" Jonas says quietly. "So I just forget him, should I send the ring back?" I ask. "Do you think he gave it to you because he wanted you to have it?" Jonas asks. "Odd question" I say. "No, if you think he gave it to you to influence you, which is doubtful, since he knows you're one of 'those' Kitmans, it's more likely he gave it to you based on what he said" Jonas tells me. "I guess then I'll keep it" I say.

"What will you do if he calls you again?" Jonas asks. "I'll ask him what he wants and what he meant by laughing at me" I say angrily. Jonas laughs. "You got angry, you thought he was making fun of you, and you felt shame, I can't think of anything that would anger you more than his comment of 'I didn't ask you to fall for me'" Jonas says softer in tone. "It sure did piss me off" I say. "Claude, take a Valium and try to go to sleep, and see how you feel in the morning" Jonas says. "Call me if you need me" he says.

I go and I take a Valium and I go lay down. And while watching another old movie, I fall asleep. I wake late in the morning on Saturday. Nothing planned, nothing I want to do. But I'll get coffee. I get up and put on a robe. Alfred comes in carrying a large floor vase filled with sprays of flowers. I'm stunned. I take the card off of the front. "Katya, I am sorry I angered you, please forgive me and call me as soon as you can" signed Sergei. "Do we have a better place for it, Alfred, than my room?" I ask. "I can put it in the dining room or the living room" Alfred says. "Where ever you want it" I say. They are beautiful flowers. Roses, Irises, Carnations, Lilies, very fragrant as well. Alfred carries it off. And he grins at me as he leaves. That grin I hate, I know he knows something that I don't. (He does, he knew the minute that I met Sergei that he was meant for me. And he even knows how and when it will come about. Not like he'd say a damned word to me about it though.)