FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Mug awoke in a stark white room. He blinked a couple times as his eyes adjusted to the blinding color. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all a blazing white. He strained to find anything else of note to latch onto. Nothing; as far as he could look was nothing but white.

"Who are you?" a voice, unfamiliar to him. He wheeled around to meet it but it boomed again.

"Who are you!?" the voice swallowed him, attacking him from all sides. He put his hands over his ears, trying to force it all out. He shut his eyes and after a few seconds of quiet he opened them to see rolling fields and small buildings in the distance. It was his home, The Proudfoot Burrows. Burrowed openings in the ground connected the massive tunnel networks together, in the distant past they were used for escaping prey, now they were used for easier transportation and being out of the harsh sun. He looked down at his hands and saw the same ones he was used to seeing; grayed fur pricked at the edge of the black fur covering his hands. Normally when he had these dreams...these nightmares...he would be put into his body from times past, he wasn't used to this.

"Oi, who are you old man?" quipped a very familiar voice from behind him. He froze and didn't want to move. He didn't have to, all he had to do was wake-up this time, he could force it, he had to, he couldn't do this.

He felt a tap on his side. "You gots a problem old timer, the main hall is back that way."

"Leave him alone Richter, 'e looks like a weirdo." it was himself, at least a younger version of himself. At that point Mug turned to face the two smaller Felis. He looked at Richter for a moment, bright eyed and curious. Then he looked at his younger self, haughty and full of himself, they locked eyes for a moment as the young Mug spoke up. "Gots a problem mister?" Mug stared at himself, his past self, A smarmy self righteous little shit who thought he was going to be a court mage in a few years and carried himself in the same way most court mages do, like they had a stick in their ass.

"Come on now Simon, he just looks lost. Are you okay sir?" Richter's voice was softer, as if he was trying to not let Simon hear. "It's alright mate, where are you trying to go." he said, smiling up at Mug.

He remembered that smile, the soft smile that let him and everyone else know everything was alright. Richter was always better with people. Mug was brash and a little stuck up, at least before life humbled him so hard. Coming from a wealthy and powerful family he felt like he had the world in his paw, but a few years slumming in the streets of the Iron Kingdom would prove him otherwise.

"I'm...trying to find a friend. He lives around here." Mug finally piped up, his voice hoarse and choked. "But I think I am in the wrong place, sorry to bother you lads." He turned away, as he felt his face grow hot. He couldn't stare at that smile anymore, not knowing what comes soon.

"Are you looking for me?" Richter said. The words hung in the air for a moment, something else behind it. Mug saw the area around them come back to that stark white room, his younger self fading from behind Richter. It was now just him and Richter, he began to change and morph before his very eyes. He was older now, fur matted and dirty, face twisted into a smirk. "Cause, you have been looking for me for how long mate, 20 some odd years right?" His voice was pained, hollow. Nothing like the child he grew up with, the optimism and curiosity was now just bitter vile in the back of his throat.

Mug clenched his fists. This was just a dream, nothing more than some twisted reflection of whatever his psyche was trying to tell him, or the torture it was putting him through once again.

"Aw, poor bab, thinking this is some mental problem." Richters voice was in his face. Their eyes met. Mug saw tinges of yellow in them and a quick glimpse of fangs, Richter's smile contorted into something inhuman. "S'not, it's me mate. Your family, your cousin, your blood. Someone you failed, spectacularly might I add." He began to clap his hands together, mockingly making celebratory sounds as he continued to berate Mug.

"Really, congrats 'Meanmug'. I don't understand how you could decide on that being your name now, you barely were able to scare someone as a kid. You run away from home and all of a sudden you are this hard ass giving out mean mugs to anyone talking about you? What a load o'gobshite."

Mug had had enough. He stomped his foot. Richter, or the spectre masquerading as Richter, was taken aback for a second. "Look here fuckface, you don't get to sit here and lecture me about my life with my cousins face on. I am trying, I have been trying. So go away!" he yelled, his voice cracking at the end.

Small cracks began to form in the white room, spreading out from where Mug stood. The surfaces undulated as if to mimic the rolling hills of the burrows once more, but unable to find form and cracking with every new movement. When it settled the floor was no longer blinding light, but a mirrored surface reflecting the two creatures atop it.

Richter's smile twisted more, and he gestured behind him. With the gesture a few bodies sat suspended in the air. All of his squadmates from the Iron Kings Army. Richters eyes looked each of them over before resting on Peck.

"You know, she's a cute bird. I can understand why you fell so hard for her. Say, did she ever use her talo-'' Mug roared as he lunged at Richter. He smacked into a stark white wall, more cracks emanating from the impact. The cracks spidered out from the area, spreading against every surface. "Feisty bugger, always quick to get angry huh? Don't like confronting any of this, I can understand that. Looking at all your failures up close can show you a little too much of your real self eh?"

Mug threw a punch, but felt no purchase as it whiffed through the air. The room shuddered into darkness. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness surrounding him he saw one of the old cots at base during his time stuck in one of the many fortresses around Iron King Lands. "Simon?" a soft voice asked from behind him, worried and apprehensive. "You know you didn't do anything wrong? I like you, I enjoyed that, you don't have to be afraid." Peck said, touching his shoulder. She stood bare behind him and he finally noticed he had a couple pieces of clothing in his hands.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." he felt heat from behind him, as an explosion sent him flying forward, spinning head over heels. He scrambled to get back to his feet and as he stood, he hesitated for just a moment, before charging back at the blazing building. Determined to change fate. As he jumped through a curtain of flame he was back in the room with Peck. "Are you ashamed?" the question hung in the air. Her voice was full of hurt and confusion. "I know I am not the most attrac- It seemed like you liked me as well." she cut herself off and muttered to herself. "Maybe I was...wrong..." a pained whisper, and choked back tears.

Mug's throat felt like sandpaper and he was unable to speak. When he opened his mouth the room faded once more and he stood in a quiet cemetery. Hearing a creak from beneath him he stood over an open grave, a birdlike skull staring up at him. "Did you love me?" a detached voice said aloud, the phrase ringing in his ears.

He screamed, falling to his knees. He felt his face covered in tears and heard the small sound of furred paws walking. They stopped in front of him as he felt a finger poking into his head. "Right-o, looks like you are having a time of it." Richter jabbed at him. Mug could hear that same smile on his face, twisted and cold. This wasn't his cousin.

"Nah mate, you don't know who your cousin is anymore." Richter responded to his thoughts.

"stop it." Mug said softly, clutching at his ears.

"I've spent 20 years being tortured and used as a fucking milk jug and you've been able to fall in and out of love. Finding and losing friends and living your fucking life mate, you don't get to feel this sorry for yourself." Richter said as he reared his legs back. Mug felt the kicks connect with his side and chest as more Richters began to crowd around him, continuing the onslaught

"stop...please." Mug's voice broke. He began to sob as he tried to choke out more words.

"Why should I!? You found more friends, you saw another cute Kenku, since you have a fucking fetish or something, and now what? You think you're going to save me and everything will be smashing again right?" Richter's voice began to distort, growing louder and more demonic.

"no, I just want to find you...you don't deserve it, I want to save you." Mug felt weapons being used now, crude clubs and sticks. He heard orcs and goblins screaming around him as Richter continued.

"No! I don't deserve it, and you don't deserve to keep going while not trying." the voice spat at him.

Mug grit his teeth, sick of this. Richter was right, Mug should've been the one in his place. He finally stood up and went to stare at him but Richter was gone. Mug was alone in the white room once more, the vibrance of the white had been muted and dulled.

"I am trying, it's all I have been doing this whole time. I just wanted to save you." his head hung low

"That's a lie." a rough voice from behind him. Turning, he saw himself in the mirrored surface from the floor. It covered the entire room now. He saw thousands of Mugs for a split second before they all coalesced into one singular Mirror Mug in a single broken mirror. It had cracks and punch-marks covering it. In some places the reflection was broken and it looked as if his body was made up of different pieces of himself across the entire time he had been alive. "You are lying Simon." the reflection repeated, emphasizing his case.

"No, I'm not! I only found the League because I finally found a lead on the family, on Richter." He growled back. His tears had begun to dry on his fur. His paws began to sweat as he shook his head to try and have some semblance of clarity.

"You're lying. You have been flitting about for years, wandering around and acting like some sort of self righteous fool. On this big huge lifelong quest to find your cousin and save him." Mirror Mug spat back at Mug. Mirror Mug looked at Mug with disgust, a twisted visage of his younger attitude. Mug found it difficult to stare back, feeling the gaze pierce into his very being. He couldn't do this.

"Scared yet Simon? Is it all sinking in? You keep getting into this cycle of finding a family, forgetting your life's goal, and abandoning the people who care about you when things get rough." Mug continued to avert his eyes, but the reflective surface surrounded him on all sides and the Mirror Mug followed his face, locking eyes at every angle.

"You gonna let everyone die again this time? Or cut and run before you have to watch them?!" Mug clenched his fists again, shaking his head. Mirror Mug laughed devilishly "Like the coward you are, unable to accept that you are nothing! These people care about you and all you do is act like an asshole and take from them until you are ready to leave!" his voice raising to an incredible volume. Deafening Mug with every word

"stop" a single soft word, forcing its way out of Mugs mouth as he began to grit his teeth once more.

"Or what? What about Pip? Draagore? Saladin? What about the rest of the guild huh? How long before you leave them to die for your mistakes?!" The Mirror Mug roared, the fur around the edges of his face fringed and shook, whiskers twitching as anger coursed through every word.

"Those people are relying on you! They don't even know how fucking worthless you are, do they?" The Mirror Mug sneered at him, the same twisted smile that Richter had worn. Mug locked eyes with the reflection, seeing fangs in the teeth of the smile. "Maybe you would be better served as the fucking blood puppet."

"Stop, you are lying!" Mug retorted, with more force this time. He grit his teeth harder now and he looked away before opening his mouth once more. "I know I am a coward. I could've helped everyone back at that outpost, I fucking know that! But I didn't. I have to live with those choices, those deaths...that blood is on me! I get up everyday and I try my hardest to do what I can to make the world a better place." His words were calm and sure.

Mug looked back at the reflection; the fangs were gone now and the cracks receded into the mirror, bandaging up the shattered reflection.

"I spent years lying, cheating and stealing for everything. I made my mistakes, big ones and small ones, and I have tried so hard to learn from it all, to extrapolate any sort of lesson or meaning out of things, and I have. That's why I am still here today, still trying, still failing, and succeeding." The reflection was now just him, talking to himself.

"Because no matter what I will not give up. I will find Richter, save him and destroy The Family. Then me and the League will save the world, and I will have an amazing time with my friends after that." Mug reared back, throwing a punch through the mirror. He felt the reflection shatter into millions of tiny pieces against the force of his punch.

Mug took a breath and felt much better. He heard wind rolling over grassy hills and through the small burrowed passages dotting the landscape of his home. "You alright old man?" He heard his voice again, younger, behind him. He remembered this day, spending it arguing with his Father, cursing the Proudfoot name, storming out into the fields to get his cousin back. He never talked to himself but he remembered the outfit and bag he carried out with him. He was carrying enough rations for a few days, a single dagger, a change of clothes and a component patch for him to practice magic with. He had an exam in a couple weeks. Wanting to ace it, he thought he would be back in time for that...at least he hoped he would be. Maybe they would've let him retake it if he was late. He would never find out.

"You know, it would probably be better to head that way to the burrows. I don't think I could be much help." the younger version of himself hefted his bag and began to walk away.

"Where are you heading, small fry?" The young Mug stopped and turned around to face him.

"What's it to you?" he said haughtily. Mug had struck a nerve, he never liked being called short. "Ain't like you are much taller mister."

"Yeah well, I got about a foot on you bud, so where are you heading?" You look like you are about to head to class or something." Mug ruffled the fur on top of the young Felis, it struck him as weird for a moment, but before he could dwell on it any longer young Mug swatted his hand away.

"For your information sir, I am going to save my cousin!" he said with a smirk, his voice fell a bit afterwards. It was obvious to anyone who heard him, he was unsure and scared. It was plastered all over his face. "No one else would." he muttered softly. The young Mug turned away from him and began to walk towards the outskirts of the Burrows. "I'll get him back if it's the last thing I do. I don't need anyone else to help me." he finished, pushing on a bit faster now.

"Hey." Mug said, as the younger Mug looked over his shoulder. "Good luck." the younger Mug smiled back at him again.

"Luck is for tossers, you're looking at a future court mage!" he grabbed at the straps of his bag and began to run into the distance.

A presence appeared behind him and before he could turn around it spoke. "You know, you might've been even cuter when you were younger." a soft voice filled his senses, and now back in the white room he stood face to beak with Peck. She was 2 feet taller than him, but she frequently stood hunched over slightly. It kept her face to face with Mug and gave her an air of intimidation over smaller creatures when she stood all the way up.

Mug shook his head, forcing himself to not look at her. "No...not again...this isn't real." he put his hands up, trying to shield his eyes from her. He couldn't continue to be trapped in this endless loop of nightmare confrontation. He flinched slightly as he felt her hands grab ahold of his.

"Shh, it's okay Simon. I'm here now." she squeezed his hands slightly and he looked up to see her eyes, locking with his and putting him at ease. "It's me, I'm here to console you, you have had a lot to deal with tonight. I promise it's okay." He wrapped his arms around her and she returned the gesture. He felt her warmth and touch against his back and shoulders.

"Is it really you?" he said, feeling a sense of hope fill his entire being. "Are you here? Please, just stay for just a little longer."

"Yes, silly kitty. I may be a dream but I am here right now with you...you have been through a lot recently. You need a break don't you?" She let go of him and wrapped their hands together, intertwining fingers that didn't fit exactly due to the imbalance in the number of fingers. "We can spend some time together here you know...without the nightmares and scary reflections."

Mug reveled in the feeling of her hands with his; he remembered this so well. They stood and swayed from side to side, all he could do was look up at her and smile and try not to start laughing from joy. It was such a simple thing, just being here with her in this moment. But it gave him so many butterflies just feeling her hands against his. "I don't think I can..." he said forlornly. "I have things to do you know, I would love to stay here with you pretty bird, I really would." He let go of her hands after one last squeeze. With a sigh he let his hands drop to his side, as she stared at him quizzically.

"But I know that ultimately this is just a dream." she smiled down at him and nodded. "Thank you. I really needed that." He smiled back at her and he watched the feathers at the top of her head twitch happily..

"Of course, any time Simon. Please come and see me sometime, you should be powerful enough soon to make a visit." She began to wave at him and he took a second to think on what she said.

"Wait, what do you mean by-"

--

Mug opened his eyes as he felt the thrumming of the engines of The Watcher. They were on their way back to the Exodium; he was following a lead on a den of Family members. It was something to get him back on track. He swung in the hammock for a moment, choosing the right moment to try and launch out of the thing. The hammock almost swallowed him back up but he had chosen the smallest one he could find, so it was a bit easier to launch out of it.

As he landed he grabbed his blade and shirt, fumbling to put them on. He stretched just a little and let out a small yawn. He felt the thrumming of the magical engine reverberate through his feet. It always set him at ease to feel the engines. Even though he was hundreds of miles in the air; it grounded him. He scratched at the fur behind his head and began to walk through the lower deck.

"Hey Pip, has anyone made any Coffee? I could use a cup." he yelled, as he rounded the bend of the stairs and went up them. As he crested the stairs he felt an eerie presence lingering in the air around the main deck. As he stepped out onto the deck he felt air rushing through his fur; were they going too fast or something? Something was off.

"No Coffee for you I am afraid." he felt a hand lifting him up from behind. He grabbed at it and tried in vain to rip himself free. The voice chuckled smugly. "Nothing but death for you...Rodent!" He felt steel pierce into his ribcage from behind. Pain surged through his entire being as he yelled. Delus Kaperstein, one of his worst enemies, held him up as he ran him through with a steel dagger.

"Delus, you fucking trash." he choked out, feeling blood begin to pour from his wound. He began to cough, every new convulsion causing him to gush blood and bleed more internally. He felt it begin to fill his lungs. Delus twisted the knife slightly and the torment grew by leaps and bounds. Mug's body tingled as more and more blood left him, his extremities began to numb slightly.

Daelus threw him to the ground; finally. He reeled back with a kick, sending Mug spinning across the deck. "You and all of your little Jesters are finally the butt of the joke! Thinking you could save the world with a gaggle of misfits and weirdos?! All for not my fuzzy little feline! Now you get to die knowing you failed and that we will use all of your friends and family as fuel to rule the entire world from below! It's the funniest joke you all have been a part of so far!" He licked at the blood covering the knife, and after inspecting it he flipped it in his hand and held it by the tip.

Mug clutched at the wound in his chest. More blood poured out, covering the deck like a crimson ocean. He struggled to look up at Daelus as he continued. "Or maybe, I'll keep you alive, like your cousin? I can place you in a blood vat right across from him and keep you awake! You can watch him suffer for the rest of your miserable-" he roared as he stomped on Mug's leg, Mug felt the bone shatter. "Insignificant!" another stomp, bone grinded against bone as more misery washed over Mug "Pititful Life!" He stomped once last time, making sure to grind his foot into Mug's leg. Mug whimpered momentarily as his vision started to blur from both blood loss and extreme trauma.

"You were so close to figuring it all out were you, I've been stringing you along from the start, all of this was for nothing!" Delus yelled, he noticed he was starting to become unhinged so he took a breath and ran his hand through his hair, resetting himself.

"You have failed Meanmug." he spat viciously. He threw the knife into Mug's back, a sickly wet sound as it tore through more muscle and organs. Mug popped off the deck of the ship from the force and began to convulse as he felt life begin to leave him, he felt cold. "Or Simon, or whatever fool name you decide to take. You lose everything, your friends, family and your life." Mug slowly moved his hand along the deck and felt the slickness of it; it was covered in his blood.

He clenched his hand for a second before laying it flat on the deck and pushing against it. He tried his hardest to get up from this. He braced against his injured leg and felt it give out, the bones in it misaligned and broken in his flesh. They were scraping against the muscles in his legs, and he switched his stance, trying to push up on his other leg.

"You bitch-" he managed to say, his voice strained. "You will pay for this." he clenched his teeth and spit out the accumulating blood in his mouth. He reached for his weapon and not finding purchase he looked to see Delus holding it in disgust. A slight sizzling sound as it touched his flesh.

"This puny old thing?" he said, tossing it over the side of the ship. "Nothing but a toy for a rodent too stupid for his own good." Mug reached for it in vain as it flew into the sky below.

Delus reached down and grabbed at Mug's shirt, lifting him up to stare him in the eyes. "Or maybe" He said, pondering devilishly. "Maybe I make you my thrall hmm? Then you spend an eternity doing my bidding, maybe I will make you torture your friends for eternity? Doesn't that sound like fun?" he said, as he leaned in and opened his mouth. Mug felt the bite and the rest of his being leave his body. He grabbed at Delus, clawing at his assailant as Delus sucked out his life essence. Mug went limp and as he felt the transfer of life complete. Delus wiped his mouth and with a triumphant grin told him "Welcome to the Family Simon."

--

Mug awoke again and this time every bit of his being was on fire. He yelled aloud and grabbed for his rapier, brandishing it as he looked around him. He saw nothing for a moment but movement caught his eye. He clicked the button on his hilt, the blade transformed into a whip. He sent the tail end of it sailing into the darkness as it found purchase against one of the other hammocks in the bunk. It sliced the hammock in half as he continued to panic, his entire body surged with adrenaline. He ran and grabbed his cloak and clicked his whip back into a rapier as he hurriedly put it on. He began to run up the side wall, and heard a lock click across the room. He would be ready for this.

--

Pip opened the door gently, looking around to see where all the commotion was coming from. "Mug? Are you in here?" They heard a shuffling in the corner, and from above. With a moment's notice they saw Mug launching from the corner with his Rapier brandished, they managed to bring their blade to bear as metal clashed with metal. They exchanged strikes with Mug; he was fast, but so were they. With a final clang they managed to launch him slightly backwards and he landed against the closest wall. Locking eyes they noticed his eyes were bloodshot and more than a little wild. They brought their empty hand up and tried to let him see that they weren't a threat.

"Hey, Mug? Mug? It's me, Pip." they brought the blade down, and resheathed it. Mug breathed heavily for a few moments, his eyes darting around the rest of the room. He put both of his hands on his weapon, frantically searching for a new target.

As he registered that it was indeed Pip he dropped from the wall. He kept his rapier out in his good hand, continuing to scan the room. "Good, you're alive! We gotta go now, before Delus gets here." Pip took a second to scan the room with him. They didn't see anything but destroyed hammocks around them. Their gaze wandered back to Mug as Mug's grip tightened around the blade he held in his hand. "Is Draagore still here? What about Saladin? We gotta hurry and get to safety before he takes you guys and-" Pip cut him off with a single hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you're safe. Okay? We're on The Watcher right now, hundreds of miles in the sky. We're safe, please, take a breath for me Mug." They crouched next to him, trying to get him to relax for a moment. He took a big breath in, held it for a few moments and exhaled out. His body relaxed slightly and he looked up at Pip. They could see how tired he was, through and through. His eyelids blinked and drooped slightly, his gaze was less wild now but very unsure and unstable. He must not have gotten any sleep again; his nightmares must have come back.

"Okay. We are okay. It was a dream. None of it was real." he said, muttering to himself as he sunk to the floor, he braced against his knees and doubled over. Pip watched as he dropped the blade and brought his head into his lap. "None of it was real, I'm safe." His muttering started to grow more feverish. As if he was trying desperately to reassure himself of this all. "I'm with my friends. It's okay." his words turned into small sobs. He felt tears streaming down his face as all feelings faded from him. He felt so alone in that moment, as if he was a rock in an endless sea of misery. That scene of the Watcher covered in his blood; it replayed over and over in his head. The memory was broken by a single hand placed on his head, a small petting motion ran through his being as Pip gently scratched at his ears.

"I won't make a habit of it, but you looked like you needed it." Mug wiped at his face for a second as Pip smiled at him. Draagore stood behind them quietly. Mug hadn't even heard him come in, how long had he been crying here?

"Mug okay?" Draagore questioned, his slightly broken English mired in genuine concern.

Before he could say anything he was lifted up by Draagore and brought into a big burly hug. "It okay Mean Mug, everyone can be sad sometimes. You have to let people help you though."

Mug stopped for a second, as those words sunk into him. He tried in vain to wrap his arms around Draagore's shoulder and neck; he was far too big. He felt his face growing hot again but this time he let the feeling wash over him. Mug cried into his friend's shoulder, as Draagore gently pet him. Pip smiled at them both, enjoying the vulnerable moment and knowing they could use this against Mug in the future, in jest of course. Saladin pushed off of the doorframe and made his way into the small Kitchenette on the ship. He started a small pot of Coffee, trying to grab the same things he had observed Mug grabbing before. He hoped to get it as close as possible to Mug's usual brew.