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Being a dorm manager has its perks. Not many, but a few.

At your college, for example, you get a room to live in and get to eat in the cafeteria. The pay isn't great, but you can get by spending next to no money. You're salting away practically your whole not-very-impressive paycheck for when you decide to move on. On top of that, the college is two blocks from the beach.

At most colleges there is a ridiculous education requirement - a Master's Degree to be a dorm manager? - really? - no room and board, and they don't get paid much more than you do. So while your pay isn't great, you're happy with what you get.

You supervise the janitors, do hourly security checks, and occasionally deal with a drunken or depressed student. That and the paperwork keeps you fairly busy.

And there there are the calls. You are updating the room roster and replying to a few requests for a room next semester when the phone rings.

You pick it up. "Columbia Hall," you say.

"Hello, this is Mrs. Harris."

"Good afternoon ma'am," you say in your best respectful voice. Probably a parent seeing if they can get their kid a room. You get a couple of calls a day like this on top of the emails.

No, its the other kind of call you get a couple of times a day. "My son lives in your dorm and he isn't answering his phone. He was supposed to call this morning and I can't reach him. Maybe his phone died...well, could you please go to his room and tell him is mother is worried?"

Ah. Well, you've dealt with worse helicopter parents. Some you know on a first name basis. "Let me get your return number in case he has to call from my office, Mrs. Harris."

You've met plenty of parents who come by to visit their kids. Some of the moms are pretty hot. The odds are small that you'll ever end up on a date with one, but it can't hurt to be polite. Manners cost nothing, your grandma always said.

"I'll check right away, ma'am." You hang up and check the roster. Paul Harris and Dennis O'Grady, room 211.

College isn't like high school. Or like the military. You spent four years in the Air Force and lived in a dorm. There, if someone doesn't show up for work and they live in a dorm, the dorm manager gets a call and finds out what's going on. Going to work isn't optional in the military.

Students are supposed to look after themselves here. It's college. Most of the professors couldn't care less if their students show up, as long as enough are there that they can hold class.

But sometimes a parent calls, and one of your jobs is talking to them and trying to fix the problem. So here you are, putting out the Back In 30 minutes sign and heading up the stairs.

No one is in sight in the upstairs hallway. The students are all at afternoon classes or in their rooms. You knock at the door to room 211 and get no answer.

With a grimace you unlock it. You've heard horror stories from other dorm managers who found students dead in their rooms. Drug overdose, usually. Sometimes suicide. College can be pretty stressful. It can make smart people do dumb things. But with two people in the room...you mentally cross your fingers and hope it's not drugs.

It's not. No one is in the room. There's a knapsack at the foot of one bed and a set of car keys in a dish by the door. Both closet doors are open and there's even a wallet sitting on the room-wide study desk at the far end.

Weird. Who would go out and leave their wallet? You check the keys and a student's room key is on the ring. Okay, so one of them has their keys and wallet, the other doesn't. That means they must be together.

It's probably nothing, then. They are out having a late lunch or at some sporting event and Paul left his cell phone. Sure enough, there one is by the wallet.

Tempest in a teapot, another of your grandma's sayings. You'll call the mom back and explain the situation. No need to worry yet.

When you came in the door you noticed an open shipping box and now you see what was in it. A brand new VR headset sits on one of the beds with a set of gloves on top of it.

Cool. You close the door so no one will see you monkeying with someone else's stuff. One of the occasionally perks of being a dorm manager is getting to see cool stuff the students bring in. Sometimes you even get to keep it. Or the dorm does, anyway. There are a dozen bikes in the basement departing students left that anyone in the dorm, including you, can check out to ride. Some students graduate or drop out and just leave their stuff.

There's no brand name on the headset. You ignore the thin product handbook it's sitting on and slide it on your face. It comes on automatically, which is good because you didn't see any buttons.

PLAYER MALE/FEMALE, it says. MALE, you click. Just as you suspected, the gloves are Bluetoothed into the headset and let you click things.

PARTNER SEX SETTING SET pops up next. You figure this is some cheap knockoff tech, explaining the Engrish. You click Female. If it's a porn program you don't want your first view to be of a cartoon wang.

BACK/CONTINUE? You click CONTINUE out of curiosity. You're already wearing someone's headset, might as well see what they were doing. GAME 1/2? 1.

Whoa. There is a flicker and suddenly you're standing in a stone courtyard surrounded by buildings. Dead ahead is something that looks like a Chinese temple. It all looks familiar.

You snap your fingers. Kung Fu Panda! Or the unlicensed equivalent, given the lack of a brand name on the headset. The smaller buildings near you must be where the totally-not-the-Furious Five crash. There is a hut without a door but with a large window - Crane? - a couple with normal doors, and one with a door in two sections. The bottom section, with its own hinges, is only about knee high. Must be Master Viper's place.

"Knee high to what" you think, and look down at yourself. Knee high to a bunny, it turns out. Brown, one white foot. Four toes, to go with the three fingers plus thumb on your hands. Loincloth one shade lighter than your fur. Judging by the height of what are probably Tigress's and Monkey's doors suggests you are about chest high to the larger members of the Five.

To get used to moving in the simulation you pad over to one of the huts with a normal door and peek in the window. Master Tigress, or whatever the unlicensed knockoff is called, is sleeping on a low-set bed. She's lying on her side and looks heavily pregnant.

So, it's that kind of program. Harem or pregnancy fetish. Pick one. Your avatar is male, so your job is probably knocking up the local ladies or humping already pregnant ones. You can't imagine what it could be but a fetish simulation.

Not-quite-Master Tigress has a blue top instead of the expected red and black trousers like the "real" Tigress wears. Top and pants part in the middle to expose her stripey baby bump. There must be twins or a whole litter in there from the size of it.

Pregnancy isn't one of your things but Tigress is pretty hot. You pause and think it over. It's going to be plenty embarrassing if Paul or Dennis get back and find you boning a VR woman. Still, it can't hurt to look around for a few minutes.

Your eye wanders to the split door with the knee-high lower half. You wonder what Master Viper looks like pregnant. You peek in the window of her hut and all you see is a thin black tailtip hanging out of a sleeping basket. It has several white metal - or possibly stone - rings around it, which you vaguely remember from the movies.

You almost take the headset off right then. It's going to be more than embarrassing if the students return and you're...distracted. Especially when it's by their headset. You can't help yourself, though. You just have to get a look. You climb in the window and drop to the stone floor of Viper's room.

You moved as quietly as you could and you remember that snakes are deaf. That is wrong, or maybe she feels the vibration through the floor, because a triangular snake head topped by two lotus blossoms pops up out of the basket as you take your first step toward it.

"What's this," she says, without a hint of a hiss in her voice. Just like the movie version, her long body is covered with a series of oriental characters. You have no idea if they are movie-accurate. You're busy eyeing her, looking for a bulge of pregnancy.

If there is one, it is in the coils still inside the basket. More of her slides into view, a long muscular mass of scales with the broad head at the top. She tilts her head to the side as she looks at you.

"I don't remember inviting a bunny into my room," she says. She sounds amused. "I'm sure I would remember."

"Well, um," you say, backing toward the window. It's not lost on you that this snake is a Kung Fu master. She's long and thin, maybe three times as long as you are tall and not that much heavier than a certain bunny, but you remember how quick she is. If she wants to beat you up you won't be able to stop her.

"It's nothing," you stammer. "Just the wrong room is all."

You fumble behind you, getting your elbow on the windowsill and ready to turn and leap out of the room. Just a few feet away Master Viper's head sways back and forth, the smile never leaving her face.

"Oh no," she says, a hint of hiss creeping into her voice at last. "It"s the right room."

You are watching her head, forgetting that Viper has no fangs. It is her tail you should have watched. Even if you had been, what happens now is almost too fast to see. The pointed tip of her tail lashes out, jabbing you in the neck, shoulder and armpit one after the other.

You stumble and collapse, limp from the waist up. Her precise nerve strikes paralyzed your whole upper body and even though your legs are working nothing else is.

"Hey," you mumble. Your mouth is still working, sort of. "It was just a mistake. I was looking -"

"It's funny how many rabbits we get here," she says. You're looking at the thickest part of her body, a coil about as wide as your calf. Her body is covered by painted-on oriental characters but you can see the joins between the scales.

"One got into Tigress's room just a couple of hours ago," she says. You can't see her face, just her lower coil, but you feel her push your legs together with some part of her long body. "He's still there, of course."

"Still there..hey!" You speak with more urgency as something grabs your feet. You have barely enough strength to turn your head and look. You're sure you know what you're about to see.

You're right. Viper's soft, flexible snake mouth enfolds both your furry feet together. You watch as her jaws move first on one side and then the other, pushing forward, digging in sharp little snake teeth, then holding fast as the opposite side of her jaws pushes forward in turn. She may not have fangs, but she has all the rest of the teeth a snake has, a mouthful of inward-hooking needles that make it impossible to pull back out. Sliding deeper is, sadly, all too easy, and her jaws busily work forward. With nowhere else to go, your feet slip into a cool damp gullet.

The black paint, or whatever it is on her scales, shows widening white cracks as the scales spread apart. She is already to your knees and the unless you get away, the bulge that you are becoming will all too soon arrive in her midsection...where her stomach is.

"Hey!" You try to kick, but the gullet wrapped around your lower legs is so fur-tight she moves with you. It just makes her body twitch and doesn't slow down the relentless advance of her jaws. The characters painted onto her body stretch out of shape and show their own white cracks. You're looking at the flexible skin between her scales, showing now as she swallows a bunny whole.

"Fuck this," you mutter. This isn't the fetish you signed up for! With uncertain fingers, barely operable with your arms all rubbery and weak, you reach up to pull off the VR headset.

It's not there. Your eyes go wide as you realize several things you should have caught onto long ago. You're wearing - or were wearing anyway - a VR set and Bluetoothed gloves. You shouldn't have felt the stone tiles under your feet when you arrived. You shouldn't be able to feel the contours of your bunny face.

And you definitely shouldn't feel the sticky mucus coating the walls of her throat. It mats down your fur as her jaws work over your hips. Your legs and feet are coated with it, a thick layer of sticky slime that slicks you down for easy swallowing. The shape of your legs stands out of her scales, two or three times as thick as her widest coil, but her jaws are over your hips and peristaltic ripples in her strong gullet are helping ease you deeper. Once her jaws get to your shoulders you'll slide smoothly into her stomach, a great temporary bulge of bunny for her digestive juices to work on.

You feel again for the VR headset, find just tall upright rabbit ears twitching to and fro in terror. If your legs were free, you could kick her. If your upper body weren't nearly paralyzed, you could gouge her eyes. But Viper knew what she was doing. If you were any threat at all she would be swallowing you headfirst and you'd have suffocated by now.

"What the fuck, what the fuck," you mutter. You reach down, fingers still weak, and try to peel her jaws back from your fur. As loose as her maw is maybe you can hold her at bay until your strength returns.

She was waiting for that. The coil of her lower body lying harmlessly next to you suddenly twitches to the side, pinning your arms for a moment. She's not a constrictor, but her carefully timed push holds your hands in place for one critical moment. When the coil slides aside, back to its task of balancing her as she feeds, both your hands are in her mouth.

"Oh god." You try to yank them loose and inward-hooking needles dig into your skin. She just blinks, seeming to smile with her eyes, and goes back to methodically working her jaws forward. White skin shows between stretched-apart scales as her jaws take in your lower arms and torso together.

"Look, this was a mistake! I didn't mean any harm."

There is a mutter of voices and a click as the upper and lower part of the door open together. "Another one?" says a voice.

You look up and find Master Crane looking back. His feathers are an odd shade of gray-purple but it's clearly him. "Darn it all," he mutters. "Why don't they ever find their way into my room?"

"Don't be greedy," comes a purring voice, and Master Tigress appears beside him. "The last time you swallowed one you almost choked. Her hindpaws hung out of your beak for hours."

"This, too, shall pass," Crane says. "It just takes me a little longer than it does you."

Master Tigress looks as pregnant as before but gravity drags the great bulge in her stripey belly downward, revealing a lumpy shape you didn't see before. One padded hand rests on a protruding bulge and you realize to your horror that you're looking at a partially digested bunny face, as seen through fur. This isn't a pregnancy fetish simulation at all.

The bunny in her stomach is just about your size. With the sudden knowledge of where at least one of the missing students is and what will happen to you if you don't escape you try to struggle, try to squirm free. It is too late. It was too late when soft snake jaws wrapped around your furry feet, and probably even before that. You should have jumped out the window the second Viper woke up. You won't be doing any more jumping.

As her jaws walk their way up over your shoulders you look downward one last time. A long bulge deforms her slender body and the characters on her scales are so stretched apart its impossible to make them out. You never knew what they said, anyway.

Just as you suspected, as her jaws slip over your shoulders and in toward your neck there is a sudden sinking sensation. Enough of you is inside for her gullet to get a good grip and she stretches her neck forward. Rows of sharp little teeth glide by above and below and her lower jaw pushes against your chin. Too weak to resist, you are forced to look away from the bulge and at the two onlookers.

"Two bunnies in one night," Master Tigress purrs. "If a third one shows up, it's yours. It's only fair."

"If the Master doesn't catch it first," Crane complains. "I don't know how he does it. I'm happy with a meal my own size. His feet don't even reach the floor when he swallows something like that." He nods with his beak in your direction.

They are getting farther away as you slide feetfirst down Viper's throat. The inside of her gullet is soft and pink and now you can see the thick slimy strands of goo that slicked you down for swallowing. Her throat folds itself around your face and coats you there, too.

"Oh well," Crane says as Viper's jaws slowly close in front of you. "At least I've got some time to look for one without arguing about it with Viper. It takes her a whole week to digest a bunny."

Tigress says something, but it is cut off as Viper's many teeth interlock in front of your nose. From inside, it looks like a long smile. You hear Crane and Tigress laughing as the snake forms an ess in her neck and pushes it slowly downward. The last light fades away as you slip deeper, and you feel the great bulge in her body make its way into her thicker coils. That bulge is you and you imagine the various characters painted on her scales expanding and then shrinking back down. That would be pretty fun to watch. Instead slimy walls slide by on all sides as you are swallowed alive.

A muscular valve expands over your feet and you know where you are going and what will happen when you get there. It is just that you can't do anything about it. She pushes the ess down her body until the pressure, plus the rippling movements of her gullet, slides you neatly into her long stomach. The valve closes in front of your nose and that is that.

You hear muffled conversation through her flesh and feel the vibration as she replies, but you can't make out the words. You can even hear her breathing, feel her swollen body expand and contract. The slow, rhythmic, unexcited thump of her pulse. Swallowing you didn't speed it up at all. You were an easy meal.

A deeper voice joins in outside and immediately starts complaining, judging by the tones. You imagine Unlicensed Equivalent of Po wondering why he didn't get a bunny too.

The layer of slime is as thick here as in her gullet but the nature of the goo is different. As it mixes with the lubricating slime and replaces it your nose and eyes start to sting. Then the delicate inner linings of your ears, your lips, and everywhere else flesh is exposed. As it soaks into your fur, a slow burning sensation spreads.

It's no surprise, but it's not welcome either. With a last desperate effort you try to kick, but the stomach is wrapped around you fur-tight. There is no way to get leverage even if you weren't still weakened by her nerve strikes. All your effort does is provoke more laughter from outside the snake as the long bulge of swallowed bunny wriggles.

The fur-colored loincloth feels intact against your belly and you read somewhere that snakes can't digest hair. That's fine and all but even if the loincloth and a mass of your fur eventually reappear more or else intact, there won't be a bunny wearing them any more.

The only good news is that Master Viper's gullet was so form-fitting that practically no air went down with you. You only have the air in your lungs, and that only because she swallowed you feetfirst. Your suffering won't last.

The burning sensation is worst on your feet and least painful on your face. Her stomach acids seem to be concentrated at the lower end of her gut. You will dissolve there fastest. A week, Crane said. A week to digest a bunny almost her own weight. You don't want to be snake food but here you are. Hell, if you had to end up inside one of them, you'd have picked Tigress. Someone else has that honor tonight, though. Either Paul or Dennis is getting a tour of her bowels, just as you will through Viper's. The student in Tigress will just get a faster trip.

You wonder what happened to the other student. The Masters would have said something if a third bunny showed up here tonight. Maybe adventures in this horrible VR setting don't always end badly and he's happily fucking some cartoon woman in Saved Game 2. Or a cartoon man. Mustn't judge.

Your next to last thought is to wonder whether anyone will figure out what happened to the two of you. Then Viper tenses, squeezes, and the inward pressure forces the air out of your lungs. As she relaxes, settling down to digest her meal, the air you exhaled is gone. All you inhale is acid.

"Next time," is your last thought. Then you remember that whoever is in Tigress's stomach didn't reappear in the real world when they died. There won't be a next time for you. "Okay, I hope whoever puts the damn thing on next time reads the manual first. Going in blind sucks."