FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

6/11/2023

It's currently...12:33am...

We're in the middle of playing a game, but Rook...ugh...Rook found my draft for this...

He stomped it to dust in The Infinite...did it right in front of me. When I demanded to know what he was doing, he told me he was helping me, told me I didn't need to revisit such dark places...there was no need to throw that out there. The only ones who needed to know it were there with me already...

Now it's 1:27:pm...I fell asleep shortly after writing that last bit, very peacefully...dreams...I don't know, can't recall them. I realized that I had wanted him to do that.

And thus, now...I sit...with my back and head up against the cool stone like touch of this damn Monolith...

After he finished stomping all over the paper he smiled at me, turned and left with the others and went into the door. Closed it behind him, but it didn't lock. I was left out here and slept.

So now I am thinking.

"He's right...sorry, but you guys don't need to see...-that- particular side of me. Some demons are just better left resting..."

I did a lot of thinking...extra searching...

I'm fine, really hehe. It's just a story. But ya know...it still helped. A lot.

Jack is now my character...-that- is me...Rook...Rook now gets to be Rook. And others I've tried controlling now get to be themselves too.

I'm done trying to inject myself into my creations...it's time to let them have lives of their own. You -can't- be the one in control...no one has absolute control, not even a creator to its own idea. They have influence. They have desire. They have emotions. But there is no control.

An Author starves for their creations, to bring them life. Your creations though, they want you to live, because they -learn- off you.

I had an idea about an idea that could give birth to other ideas.

No I didn't...

Hah.

Rook just learns off what I already know and can recall. Influenced by everything within my life...

I was...empty...

What came to me...the idea I -did- have...was what Rook actually is...

He's The Bright Star...a legend made up in a world that does not exist but does...that has since been destroyed by my own hand. A Living Galaxy that just wants to help other existences and was nearly driven crazy by his own creator.

Whoops...hah...and here I was making plans to try and 'shatter' reality and break this Monolith. I was doing it again...I was being an evil little devil. Hell...this Monolith representing Reality was -never- actually here, but my thoughts on it keep it grounded; made it visible to Rook to others in here.

I laugh a little, a bright smile on my face, and then, a blop forms up beside me, I grin further, it turns into a nasty sneer as I look down at it. A Sableye...he emerges from the void...ruby glistening eyes sparkling at me in the dark with his white toothed grin...he's unable to change the way that grin looks...I know that, but I hate it...

"Get outta here Vane..." I growl at him, lifting up a paw to wave a claw dismissively at him.

"But Great Jack...we had PLANS...You let him take it from you..."

"No...Vane...-you- had plans...and it was never mine to start with...I came into that place not knowing what the hell I was doing and you kept jibber jabbering in my ear and I couldn't -think-." I start tapping the back of my head against the Monolith. "I...just wanted to exist somewhere I could have fun...be me..."

I smirk, tilt my head back at him. "Get out of here Vane...you're not welcome, you have a bad thought. Take your greed somewhere else...The Infinite doesn't want you."

Vane hisses at me. He suddenly vanishes...poof. Gone...

He's not...hah...well...at least now I can tell him to shut up and make him...

I'm alone again. The door is in front of me though, Rook left it unlocked. I know it's the invitation. I know I'm going to take it. I already accepted it but here I'm just kind of writing it out...

But thoughts, some demand to be known...

But there's just one.

I'm opening myself up to Commissions, you'll see a post on it when I do, probably only going to be a few slots at first...you, who have read this, read some of my previous stories, I think you'll see lots of differences...telling signs. I particularly recommend going into the stories folder and finding "School Rumors". I'll post that to another place too I think. That's uh...that's Rook favorite, one of mine too still hehe, I liked working on it with the other Author. You've seen what I can do here, seen the kind of things I can create when I let this new creative process I've made work.

Rook builds the world, I take a screenshot, snap, write it, take another screenshot, snap, write it.

Place the 'Building Blocks' in a line, detail given to those blocks, web the blocks together with connecting details not entirely mentioned for the time frames not shown, glue them...and a story block is made, maybe even an entire story.

I'm an author, I want to create. But I can't just -create- Words alone can't build a world.

But there's lots of worlds that exist yet don't that I could -give- creation too.

Words...Words Are Power...

That is the base law of the Corsova...

I slowly start to stand.

Naw...the Corsova is also my idea. They don't exist, nothing I'm saying here does hehe...but hey, I wanna share it. I think a few people may like the fun concept it gives.

So...I determine, as I walk towards the door and open it to the sound of laughter and gameplay...that's what I'll do.

*Click*

_____________________

This is the end of this Journal...

I honestly think that...it has deeply helped. I revisited lots of things...revisited lots of thoughts...

I now see how I...'resparked' my creative process, and I think I'm ready to write again.

I made the mistake of thinking that I myself -was- my creation. I did not give him a life of his own and so...his life became mine, and an idea was driven mad by being made to feel, see, and experience the concept and understanding of life with all its trials and tribulations, yet driven to kindness as he saw the natural beauty, the nature, and the sometimes admittedly awful ways things just seem to fall onto the shoulders of others because of the decisions of those they had no connection to...at all...

That's life...

Well...being Rook is still fun hehe. I like helping people...

I also hate them...sorry nothing personal...just...

Ugh...just feels like there's too damn many of us to make any lick of difference in anything anymore...everyone is shouting that they need help and there simply is not enough to go around...it seems. But this journal has shown me that there are personal moments...moments I can take that I can feel are unique...a pokemon card...given to me by a child who had just met me just because...It seemed like he just wants to be friendly...

Anyway...like I said. I'll open up to commissions at some point...

When I do, I'll try and like, make a kind of...form, for someone to fill out...I'm analytical like that, so I'm going to need it.

I need to like...be able to -feel- what someone is wanting in the story. What's the idea you have? What kind of emotion are you wanting to convey? What are the characters doing together? What's the setting?

Any exact specifics that you yourself want focused on...what details would the -character- like focused on?

Again that's all things I'll have to list...I'll try to keep it short though, more simple...

I'm a very detailed person...I can be a great author, given the right spark. Hehe.

Anyway...I think I've said this nonsense enough. I'm leaving it like this. I sit here typing this as Rook watches Ary play the new Zelda game heh, screaming at him over mine carts.

"You -can't- compress space in that world...the laws of it won't allow you to...you don't need to do that!"

"But...I want to..." The fox giggles next to him, a grin on his muzzle. He is purposely doing what he's doing because he knows it's ridiculous...

"You only need one cart! You don't have to make a six car train to go down 100 feet of mine cart track!"

"But...I wanted to." The fox just repeats, and Rook wails.

"Nooooooooo! I can't allow you to do that again fox...what a waste of time..."

"All about that bass..." The fox smirks at the galactic form Lycanroc.

"AHHHHH!" His voice screeches. Suddenly a horrible supernova forms in the Lycanroc's head and he starts to run around, screaming in a somewhat gravely snarl, "NOOO!!! GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT!!!! I HATE THAT SONG! IT'S ALL SHE SAYS!!!!!"

Hehehe anyway...

_______________________

The Laws of Power...by the Corsova

To break these bases is to risk destruction.

The First Base: Words Are Power

The Second Base: You Cannot End Another Existence Yourself

The Third Base: You Cannot End Your Own Existence. Life, or the Consequences of Another's Actions, Willing or Not, will do it for you...

The Fourth Base: Your Life is Your Own, you make it as you do...and connect it to others willing to share it.

The Fifth Base: Exerting your Will on another requires Understanding of Intent...blah blah blah...

Tch...course there's a * there...it says "See page 47 for details in 'Understanding of Intent'..."

Ugh...this is a pamphlet on the laws of something else's "Reality"...

I throw it over my shoulder, it clatters to the floor in a messy flop.

I suppose those rules were how I followed it...maybe. Eh...

Here I am...still fucking talking. Ugh...

But them...heh, I already beat them. I killed their world...Killed Rook's world...seriously endangered another...

Ugh...gonna have to go save that one...

I do that sound a lot...I think that might be Mom's Charlie Brown influence hehe.

Everytime I think about doing something bad I get a horrible feeling in my chest...

If it isn't all obvious by now; I do suffer from Manic Mania, I suffer Depression, I suffer from serious anger issues towards the world around me, I suffer a few other 'things' doctors would love to examine I'm sure...

I don't need that kind of shit. Nobody ever wants that kind of shit. They -might- need it pointed out to them, ONCE, maybe do need help...but that's it...I have my family, I have my support pillar. I wouldn't have made it to where I am now if I wasn't capable of following society's rules, because I say this - I "Broke Down" about twelve years ago now. I'm saying this here right now to tell that to everyone who reads this. I -DON'T- want to discuss that stuff.

That's why I made the decision to not share those dark places after all.

I spoke to some...offered thoughts, ideas...comfort...some seemed to just see the fun in it, others got concerned...

One in particular did make me think very hard...

My final words to this...

Rook's my creative side, he's my inspirational insight, my best friend. I'm just me, and I'm giving myself the form of Jack and the story it's connected to.

I'm just being creative. And yes...it was and is my coping mechanism...because...

The Real World also just fucking sucks.

Hah...Copium...yes yes inhale the smoke. Hehe.

So I'm gonna have fun during the time that I don't have to be in it and -try- to have fun when I do.

Time to write things.

(End Journal)

___________________________

The Galatic Lycanroc walks up to you in the void, wearing a smile on his face. "Hey, look. I wanted to say, like, sorry. Just like...in general, to anyone who reads this and is getting freaked out, weirded out, things like that..."

"I'm weird hehe. I know I am. The concept I'm born from, 'an idea that can birth other ideas' that's original to me. I'm a living galaxy. Within me I house the lives of all those I've connected myself to...Satoru...Miraz...some from a Star Wars Galaxy...some from Borderlands...they live in me, through my imagination, through Jacks...through Trevors...ya know what I mean hehe."

"I revisit them, they are living their own lives, they're never in the same place as when I left. And that's...awesome to me...their lives go on."

He shifts on his feet and looks away a moment, "It gets...weird...because when I think...and well, it'd be difficult for -me- to explain it, Jack could do it better hehe, but...there -is- always a disconnect there. I -create- but I'm...not actually creating. It's just imagination...my ability was given to me through Trevor...the only reason I can create is because he 'wills' it. I'm just an idea~ I'm just words~" The Lycanroc smirks and wags his tail, "That's okay!"

"No one here is crazy." The Lycanroc shook his head. "I'm the Bright Star. This galaxy inside me is the Bright Star Guild...everyone in me...hehe, I bet you didn't know what I intended for you when I asked if I could use your character huh?" He snickered slyly, began to sway forward and back as he hummed. "If you tell me to, I'll stop, but I like them, just know that~I wouldn't put them in charge of Guild stuff if I didn't trust you!" He smiles while swaying his head.

"I can hear your songs from your world, we use "Born for This" By Imagine Dragons as our theme song hehe. Lots of others too. We were born...to help people...we are ideas. I'm the Bright Star...I'm just a legend. But me, and everyone else; we're here to help."

____________________________

The Legend of The Bright Star

Before Existence, there was a bright spark of light. It craved all experience.

It sought challenge after challenge, obstacle after obstacle, test after test, and defeated and beat them all.

It came to stand before a God of Existence, who congratulated it on its efforts and power, but advised it to stop its wild charge before it found itself before something that would destroy it forever...

The Bright Star, in its own hubris, challenged the god to combat.

The stakes? If the Bright Star won, the god would create for it a world where challenges were never ending. If it lost, the Star would be flung to the void...

Did it win?

Some say yes...others say no...

Either way, one thing they knew. The Bright Star...always shines in the night...no matter how dark...no matter how flung out you find yourself...

If you need help. Call out to it...

Help will come. Somehow.