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Chapter 8: Shameless

"Tammy? Tammy, don't cry," David begged. "Do you really think I'd let him touch you?"

His headphones still blasting on the coffee table, David shuffled on his knees across the carpet. Tammy had sunken from the sofa chair and to the floor, where she pressed her face to her knees and wept. He tried to hold her, but she looked at him with blazing eyes and shoved him off. David fell back hard on his tail. He gulped as she glared at him: oh yeah. The Debra thing.

"How could you?" Tammy demanded, her green eyes shining with angry tears. She climbed to her feet. David stood too, on the brink of some feeble apology, but she only pushed past him and to the front door. David saw her snatch her denim jacket down from the coat hanger. He groaned: the movie!

"Wait, Tammy, let me explain," David begged, following Tammy as she rushed to the door. She opened it but cried out indignantly when he pulled her back and quietly shut it. He had pulled her back playfully by her jacket collar, and though it was something half-taunting and half-affectionate, Tammy looked on the verge of screaming at him. He clamped a paw over her mouth, and glancing fearfully at the upstairs landing, he reached for his house key and quietly took it off the table.

Tammy smacked his paw away and hissed, "You're not coming with me! Why don't you stay here and fuck my mother? I'm sure the pair of you will be very happy together!" And with a scowl, Tammy snatched the house key from David, yanked the door open, and hurried out into the night with her little purse in her fist.

David followed, closing the door quietly behind him. Watching as Tammy's thin body switched away up the sidewalk, he felt dismal. He had never meant for her to find out, especially not in that slap-in-the-face way. He would never forgive his father for throwing it so blatantly in Tammy's face! Never! He rushed after Tammy as she flew up the street, determined to stop those bitter tears from falling.

"Do you really believe him?" David demanded, catching up to Tammy's angry march. "He was drunk, Tammy. He would've accused_you_ of fucking Debra if we'd all sat there long enough."

Tammy sniffed but wouldn't look at David. They reached the bus stop on the corner and halted in the street light, facing each other. Looking down into Tammy's pretty, tear-stained face, David took her paw and squeezed her fingers. He had never been with a nice girl before. But looking at Tammy, for the first time in his life, he wanted to try.

"Swear it to me," Tammy said quietly. She peered hard into David's face, the tears still falling free.

David cupped her cheek, and wiping away a tear with his thumb, he whispered, "I swear it!" Then, without even thinking, he leaned down and kissed Tammy tenderly on the lips. He was relieved to see her smile. She pulled a tissue from her little purse and dabbed her face, still sniffing but looking very happy. He was glad when she took his paw and smiled at him, and on the bus ride to the mall, a warmth filled his heart when she dropped her head on his shoulder.

They rode the escalator up to the movie theater, where Brian and Mindy were milling among the matinee crowd. David didn't have a chance to stop Tammy kissing him before Brian saw: Tammy bounced up on tip-toe, and dragging her slender paw along David's cheek, she smashed her lips to his, and David realized she was thanking him for coming with her. Then, seeing each other, Tammy and Mindy squealed, ran to each other, and took paws. Tammy praised Mindy's outfit, which was modest but not as in-the-shell-modest as before: Mindy was actually wearing makeup, as well as a skirt and sandals. Meanwhile, her mane was now loose of its usual tacky tail and was a thick shadow around her shoulders. Her ears sparkled with earrings. She was happy and glowing under Tammy's praises and under the apparent excitement that being Brian's girlfriend gave her.

After taking the money from Brian, Mindy and Tammy took arms and hurried to the ticket booth, their heads close as they giggled and gossiped.

Brian had not moved. He was studying David in amazement. David groaned inside: why did Tammy have to kiss him like that in front of Brian? He tried to move past Brian with a set expression, but Brian spoke before he managed to get by.

"Dude . . ." he said, still eying David. "Are you fucking your sister?"

"Brian!" David cried, glancing around, frantic that someone may have heard. He saw a couple kids from their school standing nearby listening and wanted to sink into the floor.

Brian kept studying David. He was wearing baggy khakis, sneakers, and a gray jacket over a dark shirt. Unlike David, he was always so neat and groomed, his mane clean and smooth while David's was greasy, messy, and fell to his shoulders. His clothes were smoothly ironed while David's were wrinkly and rumpled, and he always smelled like soft cologne. Standing beside Brian, David always felt like a bum.

"You can't lie to me," Brian insisted, watching his friend closely. "That was a girlfriend kiss. She might as well have tongued you."

David dragged a paw back through his mane, wishing Brian would shut the hell up. "Look, can we talk about this later? I mean, while there's not a bunch of girls listening two feet away?"

Sensing David's discomfort, Brian agreed, and David was glad when Tammy and Mindy beckoned to them from the admission rope.

They entered the movie and the couples sat together on one row. Brian put his arm around Mindy but watched David closely, as if to see if he would do the same thing. Determined not to look like Tammy was his girlfriend, David set his teeth and stared resolutely at the movie screen. Tammy seemed indignant that he had not put his arm around her, so she took it and put it around her shoulders herself. Brian noted this with lifted eyebrows, and David silently seethed. He was glad when Mindy started snorting at something on the screen and spilled her popcorn in her lap, for Brian started helping her pick it off her skirt, and it wasn't long before he found his paw in Mindy's panties for the remainder of the film.

Sitting nearby, David silently rejoiced at this: Brian's suspicious stares, his incredulous eyes every time Tammy squeezed David's paw or kissed his cheek had David on edge. What was more, he knew Brian was going to try and corner him later, and the last thing he wanted was to have to explain how he'd come to be fucking his stepsister. All David wanted was to get through the movie and get back home before John and Debra realized they were gone. So he was tense with nerves throughout the film, and when Tammy's paw went mischievously for his zipper, he grabbed her wrist and shook his head. Was she nuts? The last thing he wanted was for her to jerk him off in front of Brian!

When the movie was over and they had wandered out into the cold air together, Brian put his jacket around Mindy's shoulders. She smiled bashfully at him, and beneath one of the tall lamps lining the mall's flowered courtyard, they shared a kiss.

Tammy looked on this happily. "We should do this again sometime," she said gleefully. "How 'bout bowling next weekend? Or putt-putt?"

"I always wanted to learn to skate," Mindy shyly admitted.

"What do you think, David?" Tammy asked happily. "You up for skating?"

"Yeah, Dave. Who - I mean what - are you up for?" said Brian quietly.

David stiffened: Brian was staring at him again with those incredulous brown eyes. Tammy and Mindy looked between the boys, confused by the awkwardness so heavy on the air.

"Maybe we should call it a night," Mindy said, slipping her arm in Brian's. Her eyes passed between David and Brian, wide, frightened, and confused.

Brian hadn't stopped staring at David, but now he asked as he crammed his paw in his jacket pocket, "You need ah ride home?"

David shook his head. The spoiled dick. He'd almost forgotten Brian had a car. He would probably want to be alone with Mindy in it later tonight. David didn't want to horn in on him. And what was more, he did not feel like anymore of Brian's questioning stares.

"We'll catch the bus," David said, tensing when Tammy slipped her arm in his. God, did she not know the meaning of the word discreet?

"Alright, see ya later," Brian said. He turned away, but his eyes glanced over Tammy's happy face and the way she clung to her stepbrother, and he shook his head.

"Bye, Tam!" Mindy squealed to her friend.

"Bye, Mindy!" Tammy returned, then mouthed, "Call and tell me about it!"

Mindy blushed and nodded. The girls grinned at each other. Then Brian and Mindy made down the bustling street for his car.

Tammy glanced at David, and he knew she was wondering why he had been so awkward all night.

"Are you ashamed of me?" she asked when they were walking to the bus stop.

"What? No! It's just . . . I haven't really told Brian about us . . ."

"Do you have to give Brian a bulletin every time you date a new girl?" Tammy demanded sulkily.

David huffed. "Tammy! Are you listening to yourself? We're brother and sister! Do you know what it looks like when you're kissin' me in public?"

"It looks like a hot girl kissin' ah hot guy."

David laughed. "You don't have any shame, do you?"

"There's no shame in loving you . . . I hope."

David laughed again. He squeezed her fingers as his heart fluttered in his chest. But he thought with a guilty wince of Amanda. How was he going to explain that they couldn't be together because he wanted to date his stepsister? She was likely to punch him.

They sat at the back of the bus together, the seats of which were virtually empty in the dim white light. Running her tongue over her teeth, Tammy pulled her shirt open a little and flashed her cleavage at David. David groaned but could not help smiling: it was hitting him for the first time just how much Tammy enjoyed being with him. He pitched a tent in his pants, and this time, when Tammy's slender fingers went for his fly, he did not stop her. He watched tensely as her fingers pulled his erection through the layers of fabric until the heat of it was slapped by the cold air. She stroked him a moment, as if shaping his dick in her fingers, and he shivered when she leaned down and licked the head of his cock. God, she really was shameless. He glanced around, thanking his good sense for taking a seat in the back of the bus. But the only other passenger was an indignant old wolf who seemed to more than guess what Tammy was doing each time her head disappeared as she bent over David's lap. The old wolf sat two seats ahead of them, on a side seat that faced the aisle. She glowered at David as Tammy's head suddenly started going up and down: she was sucking David now in rapid succession.

David tensed and closed his eyes as Tammy's hot mouth slurped him. The idea of coming in her mouth on that filthy, dimly-lit bus was suddenly disgusting to him, but he opened his eyes and saw the old wolf glaring, and suddenly, he was as shameless as Tammy. He clapped his paw in Tammy's white mane and forced her head down lower, grinning at the old wolf when Tammy choked and her spit washed over him. He felt Tammy's looped earrings slap against him as it happened: he sputtered a cry and came in her mouth. She sputtered on him in turn, and he knew his cum had washed over her lips. She sat up with it on her face, and grinning at the old wolf with David, she licked it off.

The teenagers then proceeded to kiss, and David, feeling bold now, even put his paw up Tammy's shirt. They held nothing back as they ravished each other in the back of the bus, and both were thoroughly pleased by the fear and disgust they managed to inflict on the scowling old wolf, who finally had the sense to turn around and cringe into herself to block out the sounds.

David and Tammy made it home before ten. But rather than use the front door, they slipped in through the kitchen window. Except for the tv upstairs, the house was very quiet. David was relieved: the sound of the tv meant John and Debra were asleep - well, Debra was, anyway: she loved to sleep with the tv on. But John? David swallowed thickly. John could be sitting in the dark living room, drink in paw, for all David knew.

"I'll go first," Tammy said, as if sneaking home was routine.

David nodded. He watched as Tammy switched quietly through the kitchen, carefully pulling her denim jacket down around her shoulders as she went. Her shirt had a very wide collar, and when she pulled her jacket down her shoulders looked naked. David swallowed hard, realizing for the first time that he had never really seen Tammy naked before. She always had her bra hanging off her or the sheets pulled up around her or something. He watched her tail flick around the corner and suddenly wanted that very badly, to see her without a scrap of clothing on her body.

David wandered around the kitchen, peeling off his own clothes the better to look as if he hadn't just snuck back in the house. He kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket over a chair as he passed through the living room. He rumpled his mane to make it look as if he'd just gotten out of bed - which really wasn't too hard since his curls were already messed up anyway - and leaving his shoes behind a chair in the living room, he started heavily up the stairs. He froze when a voice behind him said,

"Davie. C'mere . . ."

The voice had come from the living room. David froze as realization washed over him: John had been sitting in the dark living room just as he'd supposed, and what was worse, he had seen David and Tammy pass through one after the other as he sat back in the shadows.

His heart heavy with dread, David shuffled in his socks into the living room and peered into the gloom. His heart skipped a beat when he finally noticed the dark outline of his father in the sofa chair. John was in his shirt and boxers. He sat back in the chair, his arms along the arm rests, his eyes glinting in the darkness. There was a glass in his paw. It swirled with melting ice and the last golden-brown swills of whatever liquor he had chosen from the cabinet that night.

"Siddown," John whispered.

David stayed where he was. He was trying to decide if John was still drunk or not. It had been a few hours since the confrontation in the living room, and John should have slept the edge off. But still . . . David did not want to take his chances. Part of the whole reason his mother had left John was because of the drinking.

"Siddown, goddamn it!" John suddenly snapped. He sounded impatient but tired and sad too, as if it hurt him that his own son was afraid to be near him.

David moved into the room and sat on the couch without taking his eyes off John.

John laughed softly. "You look like your mother sometimes, but never more than when you are frightened of me." He laughed bitterly and tossed back the glass.

The ice clinking in the silence made David resist a flinch: he had come to associate clinking ice with drunken rages. John had never really hit his mother. In fact, he had never even slapped her the way he'd slapped Debra earlier that night. But when drunk, John had a way of screaming horrible things. He would come home swaggering and cursing, David's mother would confront him, and the arguing would begin. Even as they were arguing, David would hear his father pouring a drink. The clatter of ice. The bottle being set on the counter. Then his mother's screams as she accused, "It was that female again, wasn't it? That whore who keeps your books!"

It would be years before David learned that whore was Debra.

"Don't you fucking call her a whore!" John would roar back. "Maybe a whore is what I need after the stiff lick you give a male's cock! Licking me like I taste like cough syrup or somethin' --"

"Shut up, you complete bastard! David can hear you --"

"Let him hear! He can learn what a real female is! A real female sucks dick, Sharon. A real female takes it in the ass and likes it --"

"I said shut up!" David's mother screamed.

Cringing upstairs in his room, David could hear his father's hoarse laughter. But John's laughter stopped when Sharon said over him, "I know why you fuck your little secretary in the ass, John. It's because she's the closest you'll let yourself get to fucking a male --"

Upstairs, David gasped at the sudden roar that tore from John. He heard dishes shattering, Sharon screaming, and his little paws clenched into fists. He flew down the stairs. He was just a little kid, but he wasn't going to sit by and listen while John beat his mother! But when David reached the kitchen, he halted and was shocked to find his mother laughing. John was sprawled on the floor beneath a fallen cabinet that had once housed his mother's good dinnerware. The plates were now a shattered mess around John, who was laying there looking dazed and confused.

"They're both quite the pieces of work, eh, boy?" present-day John muttered.

His thoughts shattered, David looked up to find his father quietly watching him.

"Debra and Tammy, Debra and Tammy," John sang dryly, his nail tapping the glass. "So you fucked 'em both. Well . . . I've been thinking about it. Been thinking about it all night. And I realized . . . I'd rather you fucked your stepmother than be a goddamned faggot."

Sitting on the couch, David's face darkened. His father was always so quick to spit on gays, but after what he'd heard his mother say years ago, David knew it was only because John himself was probably gay. Gay and afraid of it.

"I'd rather you fucked Tammy blind," John went on, "than know the misery . . . of . . ." He stopped himself as if he had only just realized what he'd been about to say. David couldn't believe it when his cheeks flamed the tiniest bit. "But you can't anymore, boy. You understand? They're our family now. It just isn't natural. Did you use a condom?"

"No," David admitted in a low voice. He suddenly realized that he had never used a condom once: fucking Tammy had always been spur of the moment and whenever he got the chance. And Debra . . . he had practically raped her out of spite. Who was thinking of condoms then?

John groaned and closed his eyes. "You got to use condoms, boy. You got to. You don't want some nasty disease, do you? You don't wanna kid! God, at your age, I'd be raising it and you'd be out makin' more." He fell silent, studying David a moment before he spoke again. "What about that girl you use to bring over here when you were little? That little tomboy used ta beat you up . . . what was 'er name . . ."

"Amanda."

"Yeah." John took another drink from the glass, the ice clinking again as he lowered it to the armrest. He swallowed as he asked, "You fuck her yet?"

Sitting on the couch across from his father, David suddenly realized that John had waited up just to talk to him: this was John's feeble way of apologizing for that night's drama. And perhaps . . . John just wanted to feel close to his son.

"Once," David admitted.

John laughed. "It's funny. I always had that girl pegged for ah muff diver."

David's lips tightened.

John laughed again and mumbled an apology. "Look," he said, peering earnestly into David's face, "I'm sorry for everything I said when I was drunk, David. God, I'm sorry for the last ten years. How you must hate me, kid." He eyed David sadly a moment, then went on, "But do you think it's been easy for me? Dealing with . . . who I am? Losing your mother? Trying to find some sort of anchor in all the confusion? I guess . . . I guess Debra was the anchor when your mother had given up trying to keep me grounded." John laughed bitterly and stared now at the ice in his glass. He looked up again, and his eyes were pleading, "You know I wouldn't hurt Tammy, right?"

David just stared at his father.

"I wouldn't hurt her, David," John swore. "I wouldn't hurt her. I was drunk when I . . . God, you know as well I do how hot that little girl is. Walking around here half dressed all the time, and then your stepmother wonders why I got hard this afternoon. I haven't seen anything that young naked since . . ." John smiled to himself. "Since your mother."

David knew what his father meant: John and Sharon had been high school sweethearts.

"But look," John went on, "just promise me that it's over, David. Please. I need Debra in my life, and I can't have you and Tammy fuck that up. I've lost too much just to get Debra . . ."

David sat seething. Damn straight John had lost too much: John had lost Sharon! And without even realizing it, John had lost his son's love too.

Suddenly incensed, David shot up from the couch. "Are we done here?"

John glanced up at his son, saddened by his anger. He looked glumly at his glass and nodded.

His eyes hard, David marched from the room.