The last goodbye
This is entirely a work of fiction. None of the characters exist (well, I don't think so). All the characters are copyrighted me. You must be about [insert legal age to view pornographic material in your country here] to view this. This work is coded as follows: anything. You may reproduce and distribute this story anywhere, as long as you follow these guidelines:
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The last goodbye
The alarm clock rang at eight o'clock, bringing the young adult student out of the sanctuary of his dreams like it had for so many years. With one swift move, the eighteen year old flipped a switch and the machine's cries turned to radio announcers, far less annoying but still a reminder that he had to get up. Yet he didn't move, instead enjoying the warm breeze coming from the open window upon his face. Spring had finally poked its nose after too many months of coolness. The winter had been surprisingly frigid with the temperature sometimes falling as low as 12 degrees Celsius. But now the warm days were back and radio forecasters announced a sunny day. Kolt was satisfied with the forecast but he didn't expect any other good news for the day. Sluggishly, he got up and took a shower, leaving the radio hosts on who seemed to have taken to heart to cheer up the student, making gags which sometimes struck home and made Kolt smile.
But in his heart, he had stopped smiling for a long time. He simply couldn't get his morale up for a long period of time, reality always bringing him back down. Kolt was a physically healthy man, his hair dyed of a yellow/golden taint, slim, average height, not very good with sports but gifted and persistent when it came to studies which came useful in college. He was plagued by loneliness however, hence his everlasting melancholy. Kolt didn't feel he could call anyone a true friend, instead classifying the people he knew as acquaintances; he didn't feel like he had much in common with them and neither did they.
His depressions had started when he was young. At the time he didn't understand why he was feeling so glum and neither could his parents. He saw a few therapists which tried to help him through his issues but they were completely dumbfounded, admitting that cases like Kolt didn't happen very often. Of the four shrinks he had met, none had ever heard of a similar case despite doing a lot of research. They tried to prescribe pills to numb the mind but through trial and error they were reaching too high dosages and had to cancel everything. Now he went clean, though still unhappy. He had learned to live with it, for now. His parents were still worried but they trusted him to stay strong.
The student returned to his room and put on some clothes, a plain blue shirt with a pair of jeans, which would be followed by sandals when he left. Kolt loved the silence and solitude of the morning, before he had to deal with the rest of the world. He made himself a breakfast of toast with raspberry jam which he ate slowly, his mind on the homework he did the night before. His parents and sister had already left for work and university respectively, leaving him in charge for a brief moment like every morning. His meal done, the boy grabbed his lunch and backpack before leaving.
Kolt lived in an apartment and had to pass through a corridor before leaving the building. In one of the neighboring apartments, he could hear loud grunting noises which left no doubt to what was happening. He passed by as quickly as he could, trying to ignore the lewd sounds yet knowing full well that there wasn't much he could do to avoid it.
Leaving the building, he no longer tried to ignore the sights which were forced upon him. He had tried many times before but had always failed and now he just tried to accept it as a fact. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and exhaled, before going towards the school, as he did almost ritualistically every morning. In the past he had cursed himself for being "blessed" with an acute sense of hearing. He wished he was a mole like one of his teachers, almost blind and deaf. At least, that's what the student called the grumpy elderly man, "the mole".
Everywhere around him, people were fucking. It happened night and day no matter where on Earth you were and no matter what the season. He turned a blank stare to some young students on the other side of the road, two girls and three guys. He recognised them as they attended the same school. One of them was wearing a blue shirt and had his cock buried deep inside one of the girls' pussy. Nearby, the other girl had her mouth wrapped around the second male's cock who laid on the ground sucking the third male. The whole scene left Kolt disgruntled and he hurried the step, wanting to get to school as fast as he could.
But his dash could not prevent him from seeing more acts the same kind. When the boy reached down town, he saw four males getting it on one behind the other. On a bench he saw two women kissing each other and fondling each other's breasts, leaving no doubt as to what would ensue before long. No road was left untouched Kolt knew and everywhere he turned, he saw sex in so many positions and involving so many types of people and it just left him twitchy. Like many days before, he broke into a dash for the rest of the way to school. Once he arrived, he went to his locker and picked up the books he needed for the following classes. He then went to the third floor, carefully avoiding the hallways which were better known for student activities and through a door no one ever took. It lead him to his favourite place on school grounds: the roof.
He had discovered access to the roof a year before, by accident. Kolt was trying to avoid students when he stumbled upon the door which got him curious. It lead to the roof, the only place he knew where no one had stumbled upon, still clean. In the following year, no one had come and the student had made it a haven a peace for himself, shaping a crude table and seat. After all, he spent so much time here, he deserved some comfort. He especially loved reading on the rooftop, it soothed him.
Kolt felt like he had an incomplete set of genes which made him very different from the rest of the mass. When he was a teenager he already showed distinction from the rest of his comrades, not caring as much for sex as his friends did although he had still tried it several times. At the age of sixteen he started wearing clothes, shirts and pants. Some people wore shirts but most didn't wear pants and those who did usually had a sexy reason to do so. His parents had felt distressed and tried to accommodate him as much as they could. Sex around him had been prohibited in the household and they tried to get him private lessons, but the teachers were always put off by the student after a few lessons and refused.
The boy could remember the exact moment when he realised how much he didn't belong. When he was fourteen, the teacher had asked the classroom what they wanted to become when they were older. Most replied that they didn't care, as long as a lot of sex was involved, which wasn't unexpected. Some kids also answered policeman, fireman and all of the common heroes which kids admired. And then Kolt replied "lawyer". In a world with so few crimes, it really set Kolt as different from the rest of his peers and the teacher just smiled stupidly before moving on.
Lawyers didn't have a very important purpose within the society, they only did the boring paper work and tried to keep everything balanced out for everyone. The paperwork was exactly why Kolt looked forward to the job and no one had been able to distract him from his goal. Even as he grew up, his resolve only grew with him.
The school bell rang and the man proceeded to class. Most of the other students were finishing up and preparing to go to class as well but there always remained some who were only getting started and refused to move. In a small transversal hallway, he saw a male teacher licking a female student's pussy, keeping her against the lockers while another was getting started on his balls. They wouldn't be returning to class any time soon and the administration knew they couldn't do much to stop it. Officially, they neither encouraged nor discouraged it, understanding that sex was a natural urge, at all ages. As long as grades remained high, they had no reason to be alarmed and students very seldom failed classes. Kolt was exceptionally gifted however, few students could actually follow his grades as they lacked both the discipline and the interest to proceed. They figured that there was no reason to make things more complicated, there was too much pleasure in simplicity.
The classroom was always between a quarter and a third empty with students roaming all around. Since the beginning of the year, Kolt had not missed one single class which was among the things that brought on teasing comments from the rest of his classmates, along with his clothes and his serious attitude. They were never disrespectful about it however, none of them wanted to hurt him. Indirectly, they always did. Kolt no longer counted the times where he had seen a student slip under the desk of the classmate behind him just to suck on a hot rod; and it was only the tip of the iceberg.
The second bell rang and the class stilled to silence.
"Class, today we have a new student among us," the teacher said. "I would like to present Jamal Rotterdam the third."
A student entered and all were shocked, some turning to Kolt to see his reaction. The clothed boy was just as shocked as the rest and simply froze. The new student had a very distinctive look, with red pointy hair and black leather fingerless gloves. He wore a ring to his right ear and the students could see a glimpse of a chain hidden under his white shirt. But what surprised them all was the pair of jeans he wore as well. Jamal seemed a little shy as he appeared to the rest of the class and didn't seem to notice Kolt.
"Pleased to meet you all..." he said, eyes still down.
"You can choose where to sit..." the teacher started.
"HERE! HERE!" The student to the left of Kolt almost threw himself off his chair.
Startled, Jamal looked up and his eyes met Kolt's. Instantly, they knew that they had a lot in common. There was something beyond the clothes which was recognisable in the new kid's eyes, and Kolt was tempted to call it a lack of lust. The newcomer accepted the invitation.
The teacher resumed class, not really expecting the students to be paying much attention, the non sexual ones in particular. But neither Jamal nor Kolt spoke, partially because of shyness and also because they didn't want to disturb the course although everyone was waiting for them to do so, teacher included. Kolt wondered if it could really be true, that he had found a friend for himself.
Finally the class ended and although everyone was curious to see what would happen between the two clothed boys, they still chose to disperse quickly, leaving them together alone. Jamal took a breath to speak, but his new friend was faster. "I know a place," he simply said, to which the other student nodded. They assembled their stuff and left the room.
Kolt had always found peculiar that some hallways were more popular for sex then others. Although students and teachers alike would often settle for where they were at the meet, the sexual musk in some corridors was not as strong. Kolt knew his way around and was able to avoid most encounters, only leaving them to glimpse a few impromptu relations. "The best kind," according to Kolt's sister. Kolt brought his new friend away from all of this to the rooftop. He knew that if he wanted, he could stay for the rest of the day and the teachers wouldn't mind. Then again, he would; being in class was deeply engraved within him.
They sat against a wall and Kolt closed his eyes, a smile on his lips. Jamal was nervous and glancing to his friend, unsure of what to say. Neither of them had ever expected this situation to occur and thus didn't know what to say.
"So what's your story?" Kolt finally asked. "How did you know?" He left his words imprecise but already there was a strong bond of understanding between them.
"My mother died when I was ten years old. A heart failure brought her to the hospital, but they didn't know how to save her. She died a few weeks later. I still remember her frail body laying on the bed, holding my hand weakly and telling me to live a happy life." Kolt's smile has disappeared, a tear taking its place. He has not expected such a trauma to be the cause of his friend's lack of lust.
"When she died, I decided that I would become a doctor. I didn't want anyone else to go through the same grief as I did. It's not fair for a ten year old to lose his mother." Kolt leaned and took the fox in his arms. Jamal was crying lightly now, the pain still vivid in his mind. The bell rang and neither of them moved. They would be skipping classes after all.
The following weeks were like a dream for both Kolt and Jamal. The rabbit's parents were so happy that their son had finally made a friend and a good one at that. Regularly, one invited the other over for dinner or a sleep over. Kolt was especially content to see that beyond their lack of lust, they had a lot of the same interests, like reading. Jamal loved science fiction and had a big collection of old comic books. The teens travelled the forest, just talking and admiring the scenery. One weekend, Jamal and his dad invited Kolt over for a camping trip. The rabbit had never camped out before and it made for a very memorable experience.
A year passed by and the world remained the same. Their friendship grew and soon they sent their applications for college, in law and medicine. They weren't really worried of being rejected, the application being nothing more of a formality. Both were very excited at the prospect of being with more serious people, although they knew sex remained very omnipresent in college as well.
After a while however, Kolt noticed a change in the attitude of his friend. He first noticed it the day after Jamal was absent from school, the fox being slightly off, as if his mind was on something that he wouldn't reveal to his friend. Kolt figured it might only be a phase and shrugged it off at first, but as the days progressed he felt more and more distant from Jamal and he didn't understand why.
He was getting increasingly worried for his friend who was making no sign of going through his tough phase. Finally, the rabbit decided to confront him once and for all. For the occasion, he brought his friend, almost by force, back to the roof where they had not gone together for many weeks.
"Why did you bring me back here?" Jamal asked a bit abruptly when they arrived. The rabbit was hurt but tried to ignore the tone of voice.
"I've been worried about you for the last two weeks. You've been really distant and I can see that something is bothering you. I'm your friend Jamal and I want to help. I want to understand you. Please don't keep me in the dark like this"
The fox sighed. He knew all along that it would come down to this yet he wanted to postpone it because he didn't want to lose the special relationship he had with his friend. He knew that once the truth would be out, things would change between them for the worst. It was just so important that neither could get around it. The fox couldn't even look at his friend as he spoke
"I won't be attending college next year."
Kolt was caught very unaware with the reply. College application was only a formality, even with medical and Jamal certainly had the grades required to get in. "You were rejected?" he asked in awe, stating the almost obvious. But the reply only served to confuse him more.
"No, I got in. I choose not to go." The fox started walking around, still not facing his friend in shock. When he was nervous, Jamal had a tendency to strut around to ease down his nerves. He was trying to muster the courage to say what he had to say, and decided to explain the whole situation. Kolt deserved that much.
"You know the reason why I wanted to become a doctor, because of the way my mother died. Well I never really accepted her death and for the past few months the pain became very intense." The fox had never told his friend about it and Kolt was a bit disappointed that he didn't confide in him. "I started seeing a therapist about it and he helped me accept the death of my mother. And as the therapy sessions went by, I became more accepting of the situation and accepted death more for what it was. I understand myself better now and I know it's selfish, but I wanted to save other people because I wanted to save my own mother. But I can't, I know that now. And once I accepted the events, I started looking at the world in a different way.
Kolt, I'm no longer bound by my self imposed chastity. I started enjoying life and others the way everyone does during the last few weeks. At first I wanted to fight it, but it's in my nature, in all of our natures. And I knew that if I became like all the rest, I wouldn't be able to remain your friend."
It hurt to hear it, but Kolt knew it was right. He had tried to befriend other teens who were among the lesser sexual ones, but it didn't work out. The pheromones made him literally sick and it was in their nature to just want to enjoy life, as the fox had put it. Kolt was unable to enjoy life in that manner and no one had been able to say why. And now being different was blowing up in his face again.
"You're still wearing your clothes," Kolt weakly tried to argue.
"The level of dedication I wanted to put into this friendship. But this isn't me anymore, it's draining me to be like this. I have to be myself, even if I've changed else I won't be happy and you won't be happy either if I'm always miserable. I'm sorry Kolt, it's the way things are."
Kolt fell sitting against the wall, his eyes blank and heart pounding like it had not for a very long time. He didn't have the strength to stand up anymore and he knew this would be the last goodbye. It hurt like nothing had ever hurt him before. Seeing his friend in shock, Jamal tried to approach him and give him a hug, but the boy just recoiled. He didn't want to be touched, he didn't want to be seen and especially not by his former friend. Jamal knew there was nothing more to be done. He was hurt, but he knew Kolt enough to accept it. As he walked back into the school, he wished things could have been different and doubted that he'd ever find a friend as dedicated as Kolt had been.
Kolt felt as if he had been repeatedly punched in the stomach. Life was unfair taking away his happiness just as fast as he had found it. He wasn't allowed to be happy because he was too different from the rest of the world, that damn world which had taken everything from him because he was too different. To be fully accepted. He had wanted nothing more then a single friend with whom he could share all, someone like him who really understood him and whom he understood. The boy once had convinced himself that the world didn't need him and Jamal's departure was further proof of it. He knew that he wasn't being pushed to leave nor was really a nuisance, but the world was a nuisance to him and nothing could block it out.
Kolt didn't hesitate: he got up, placed a foot on the edge of the roof and without even looking down, he jumped. Soon he would be free.