FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Prologue

Tic-toc. Tic-toc. The clock chimed into the building. The rain outside helped deafen the pitter patter of the paws running up and down the hall. I sat by myself without a single friend in the whole house. I was abandoned as a pup and raised in an orphanage. I wasn't one of the lucky ones that got adopted at birth or before I could remember the cold night my parents dropped me off here.

I have spent a good bit of my youth here and I doubt I am going to leave. Six-teen years have passed and right now I was facing the end of the chance of adoption. Not many parents want to come in and pick up a nearly grown wolf as me. Not to mention I have no good qualities about me, or talents. I spent most of my time alone and without a word I slipped in and out of the rooms.

With light steps I crept across the creaky, wooden floors. No one seemed to notice me at all. I was the lone wolf traveling across the old orphan home. I don't know whether people wanted to avoid me or just didn't really notice me but I didn't care. I liked the solitude. In my opinion, friends are a weight keeping you back. Many of the people here stay in small groups and hang out with one another.

I never wanted to be apart of one and I didn't care to join. Not to mention that I never tried to make a friend. Several furs, when we were younger, tried to get me to play with them but I always refused. There is a part of me that says thank you for getting me away from those childish games, while another part is tearing me in the opposite direction. Right now I don't care for people and I doubt they care for me. Not once have I received the slightest affection from anybody. Then again, I never asked for anyone to waste their time talking to me.

The yelps of the young furs filled the orphanage as I watched them run right by me. Their heavy steps sent waves of sound to my ears. Not once did I ever really notice this kind of noise. Not once have I ever played a game. Not once had I shared a smile with anyone.

I reached the stairs that lead up to the second floor of the old building. With each step I climbed there was an ear splitting screech to be shared. These sounds came natural for someone in my predicament. I almost want to laugh from how pathetic my life has been. How many people have been through my situation? I mean I can't be the only one with sorrow.

The sound of the front door squeaking open caught my attention. I usually didn't bother to look but when the door opened I smelled something nice. It smelled like some kind of fancy perfume and cologne. I cocked my head enough to the right just enough for me to catch sight of the new family willing to adopt. There stood two gray wolves with their son. They seemed to have a good bit of money from how they dressed in such a fancy way. The woman wore a pearl necklace and a scarlet dress while the man wore a blue business suit. I don't know how but they somehow got their son into a similar suit as his father.

Compared to my pitch black fur I would stand out like a sore thumb if they adopted me. That is if they even noticed the black wolf in tattered jeans and a jade colored jacket with small slits in the back and front. The pockets for the jacket were able to keep my paws inside but my black fur sunk out of the holes and it seemed like a blind person sown my jacket with black patches. My fur was filled with knots and I didn't even have shoes to wear. So all they mostly saw was a wolf in a homeless man's clothing.

When the owner of the orphanage walked to greet them I scoffed and quickly headed up the stairs. There was not a chance for them to want someone as old as me to play with their son who seemed to be only eight. Opening one of the many doors upstairs I headed into one of the few boys dorms. The house was greatly sized but the condition was terrible, so the rooms were decently sized but the quality of them was below average.

I jumped onto my bed and curled up in a ball. I didn't want anyone to bother me right now. All I wanted to do was go to sleep in till I was old enough to leave this place. But where would I go? We barely got an education here so who would hire me when I leaved. With my luck not a single person would even so much as notice me enough to give me a penny. I may as well be dead.

The creaking sound of the doors being opened appeared once more. I turned to see it was the owner, a white rabbit, and she was looking at me with almost ecstatic eyes. I was confused by the look in her eyes but the words she said next surprised me the most. "There is a family downstairs wanting to adopt someone at your age." That was something rare. Most families get them young so they can raise them but never when they are about grown. "Are you coming to see them, Kevin?" I just turned my head back down to my pillow and tried to go to sleep.

I heard the door shut and I played the waiting game. For about an hour I waited in till I thought the family left. Getting of my somewhat cushioned bed I opened the door and head down the hall to the stairs. I bounded down the steps and was about to cut a corner to the dining room when I saw the same family from earlier waiting at the door. As I stood on the last step I couldn't help but look them in the eyes.

I didn't see anyone else with them. Apparently they didn't deem anyone worthy enough to save from this hell hole. I chuckled a little under my breath and turned to walk away from them. "Wait!" I heard the woman call after me as I headed down the hall. "You're around six-teen aren't you?" Her footsteps stated that she was getting closer to me. "Why didn't we see you waiting in line for adoption?" I felt her breath blow against my neck. The warmth of her hand laid on my shoulder and I was frozen.

I turned my head to look at her with cold eyes. "I didn't want to be adopted." With those words I left her standing in the hall, by herself. I didn't look back at my one chance for freedom; although, who said I was going to be adopted anyways.

* * * * *

Chapter 1

Days went by but not a single one did I regret not turning back at the family and beg them to take me home with them. I wanted to be free not taken care of. I don't need anyone to waste their time and money on me. Even if I bothered to ask them they would instantly see how boring of a person I am. After all who wants a son who can't do a single thing.

From just the thought of the female wolf made me grit my teeth. It was almost unbearable how I felt after wards but I knew better than to get my hopes up. But just the way she looked at me with those soft eyes just tore at me. Even after all that I still didn't feel any different about my response.

I laid in my crappy bed and just stared at the ceiling. Half-expecting for the roof to collapse on top of me, I just waited. I didn't even bother to try and move when I imagined the large planks falling and dropping straight for me. Then the image just phases right through my body to reassure me that the ceiling is still in check.

The raining stopped. I kinda miss it now. I love the rain cause it always makes a sound. I don't know why most people hate it. In my opinion it lets me know that I am not alone. It lets me know that I am not the only person weeping.

The constant screams of the young furs went outside and strayed from coming back into the haunting house for as long as possible. Most others went around the neighborhood and looked at what they could. In my opinion made no sense cause we have no good clothes and I doubt any of us could get jobs to get better clothes.

Growing tired of thinking I sat up on my bed. Looking out the window by my bed I had a clear view of the street. One vehicle caught my eye as it was parked right outside the orphanage. "Great another family wanting to adopt no one." I muttered. My eyes didn't stray from the SUV as two familiar faces appeared. Both of the gray wolves from about a week ago are back. I bit down on my tongue and drew blood. The taste stayed in my mouth for a while and yet I couldn't release my teeth from their death grip.

Picking myself up off my bed I marched out of the room. I was going to find out why they were here, one way or the other. As I was walking down the steps they just entered doorway. The rabbit who owned the orphanage greeted them like last time. I waited on the last few steps just so I could hear what they were saying before they actually noticed me.

"You have no luck?" The rabbit asked the two adopters.

"Sadly, no." The female replied, with a lot of depression in her voice.

"You looking for anyone in particular?" The owner asked.

"Actually I was interested in talking to that black wolf." She perked up from the mention of me but why? I wasn't that special in fact I have to wear the same thing everyday. "I think he would get along great with my two sons." Two? I only saw one yesterday.

"How old are your sons?" It seemed as if the rabbit could read my mind. I was wanting to know the same thing.

"Well my youngest is nine and we brought him along with us a few days ago. Then my eldest son is six-teen and he had practice so he was unable to make it." So their eldest son is six-teen as well. Then why did they want another grown boy in the household?

"If your eldest son is six-teen then why did you want to add another one?" Back to the amazing mind reading powers of the owner.

"Well it is mostly because he always plays too rough with our youngest son and ends up getting him hurt and so we decided to get him someone around his age to hang out with." The gray wolf was smiling from the thought of her two sons. But somehow she wanted lowly me. As much as I was wanting to hear more of their conversation the male wolf noticed me.

"There he is." He said to his wife and she turned to look at me. She had a giant smile on her face but I couldn't really repay her with one. After all I never tried to smile.

"Ahh that black wolf." The owner said in surprise. Apparently she was as shocked as me. "So you want Kevin?"

"I thought I gave you my answer already." I said to her. Even with the harsh words I spoke and cold glares I gave, her smile never left her face.

"I was hoping that you would change your mind." She said gleefully. There was no way there was a woman on Earth this happy. "After all I thought you would enjoy being somewhere...new." That last word made my fur tingle. New? I liked the sound of that but still I didn't want to play suck up with them. But if I got out of here and got to be somewhere else possible better then why not...try. I gulped from the thought of me actually wanting to get on someone's good side. I mean it shouldn't be too hard, right? All you do is compliment them and say thank you and stuff like that.

"Uhhh...I guess." It took me a while to answer because I had to try my best to take the malice out of my voice that still remained.

"How about you tell us about yourself?" She asked.

"I really don't have any talents and I don't really like to do anything. I honestly consider myself boring." I said grimly. Those were private thoughts but anyone could have told that much from just looking at me.

"Well we will just have to find something then. Won't we?" She was still smiling and I was dumbfound by her. How could anyone be this happy all the time?

"Uh..." I couldn't even speak right then. Not a word could be made, not even the slightest squeak. She walked over to me and gave me a hug.

"I will take that as a yes." I was taller than her but only by a few inches. I wasn't the tallest person but then again I wasn't the shortest. I stood at five foot ten while she stood around two inches shorter while I was three inches shorter than the male. The woman's husband seemed like he worked out a lot while I was a scrawny wolf. With what muscle I lacked I made up for with speed and agility. So I guess it evens out in a way.

"So let me get the papers and you will be ready to go." The rabbit said as she turned to walk away. While the female wolf looked at me to say something.

"I am Carol and this is Mike." Carol said. "Also don't you want to go get your stuff?"

"This is it." I said waving my hands up and down my body, pointing at my mangy, old clothes.

"Well we are going to have to fix that." Carol said. It seemed like Mike was the strong silent type and I wasn't going to question him. Within moments the rabbit was back with the sheets and before I knew it I was being dragged out of the one place I lived most of my life.

Within moments I found myself in the back of the SUV and we were driving down the road. Not a single word was shared after I was drug out of orphanage. Not once have I so much been as far as down the street. In my mind this was a whole new world.

* * * * * *

Chapter 2

Hoping that time would go faster I looked out the window. The sun hanged in the middle of the sky. So it was still around midday when they came to get me. Different houses flew by me as an almost blurred image. I could make out their color and shape but all of them seemed to look them same. Trimmed bushes and cut grass was the only surrounding of the homes. There was no diversity as all of them had the same as the next.

The further we got down the road we took a sharp turn to the right. Moments passed as we started to see new scenery. There was a winding road that went slightly up hill. Trees replaced homes and eventually the foliage was so thick I couldn't see past them. It was just a blinding sight of green brown as sunlight shined through the trees.

"Here we are." Mike said as he was the one driving. The gray wolf slowed down enough so he could turn into a gravel driveway. The small bumps shook the vehicle a bit as we drove over the tiny bits of rock. The road seemed to decline at first but it swerved to the right and started to go up. The wasn't steep enough for us to stop completely but it was probably at a thirty degree angle.

As the trees died down a giant house appeared. It was as big as the old mansion of an orphanage home. But this one was in great condition, painted white with windows that weren't broken. Hopefully floors that didn't creak when you steeped on them. The house was two stories with being greatly wide from one side to the other. How much room did a family of four, five now, need?

"What do you think?" Carol asked turning to look back at my shocked expression. My tattered clothes didn't help much as drove into a place like this. Right now I felt like a kitten being taken home to be raised and took care of. Then again I may as well have been a kitten stuck in a box, unable to get out. But this family decided to take me home with them.

As much as I didn't want to, I ended up loosing all malice for the family. They gave me a home and I guess I was happy. But now I had to meet the other two members of the family. It shouldn't be too hard if they are anything like their parents.

Not having to worry about luggage all of us went ahead to walk through the front door. My first glimpse of the inside nearly killed me. The wooden floors were made of oak. The walls were painted white like the outside. There was a hall that lead straight towards a balcony on the opposite side of the front door. To the right of that hall was a staircase that lead to the second floor. Railing was along the staircase and the visual part of the upper level. Instantly to the left of the home was the kitchen. The dish washer was to the left of the sink. Several cabnients were along floor level while many of the clung onto the ceiling. There was an oven and everything in there.

Then to the right of the entrance there was a room that seemed to be filled with furniture. There was a long couch having a large, flat-screen TV. Smaller versions of the same couch were to the sides facing one another. In the center of that room was a small table, within reaching distance. A couple of counter tops were placed to the sides of the larger couch.

As amazed as I already was I felt Carol taking my paw and dragging me from my frozen state. Just before we reached the hall and took a left I noticed a few doors within the hall. Carol kept taking me on a slight tour of the house and showed me the dining room. It was just outside another entrance of the kitchen. I counted the number of seats and it stopped at eight. Why eight? There was only five of us in this home.

"One of the seats is for our nanny. While the other two are for guests." Carol said because she noticed me counting on my fingers how many chairs I saw. Now I know that they have a nanny and so that means there is someone here to take care of us while they are away. Technically only me and their youngest son cause I doubt the oldest son is gonna be doing something wrong or get lost in his own home. While me on the other hand has never had a family and so I am not sure how to act.

Suddenly we were back on the tour and we headed down the hall. She said that one was a supply closet and the other was a bathroom. Then she added that they had two upstairs that came with shower and decently sized bath, separate of course. This told me that they must have greatly different paces they like to get ready at. It would be nice to try warm water though. At the orphanage I mostly just got cold water or nothing. I didn't bother to tell Carol this as it wouldn't have changed the matter.

Carol swung open the door to the balcony and let me outside. Looking left and right I noticed lawn chairs and a grill with a small family table outside. Apparently they liked to eat outside sometimes. When she took me over to the edge I saw a pool in the backyard. Along with the pool I noticed more lawn chairs and a basketball goal. I thought basketball was more of a winter sport than summer. Although I never tried to play so who am I to judge.

"What do you think?" Carol asked me. There was that smile again. I couldn't help but look at her eyes. A weak smile grew smile grew on my face. I had to strain myself to just manage to do that for her.

"It's great." I said quietly. Something was holding me back from being completely open with these strangers that invited me into their home. I felt like a common thief that was going to rob them blind. I wasn't worth their time for adoption and besides what purpose could I possibly serve them.

"You okay?" Carol asked. I must have been spaced out for too long and worried her.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered and she just looked at me like she didn't believe me. The wolf turned to walk away and I just followed. She walked back down the hall of the massive house and this time headed right up the stairs. Following her like a child on a leash I bounded up the steps.

On the top floor the were a good bit of doors but most of them were bedrooms. One was another supply closet and two of them were the bathrooms she mentioned earlier. There were a total of eight doors on the upper level. One of the rooms must have been my new home. Carol opened the third door to the left of the stairs and told me this one was mine.

I looked at the room in mint condition. It looked like no one even went in here except to clean it. There was a dresser, a closet, and my own bed. It wasn't one of the crappy ones at the orphanage but an actual bed. Carol just smiled and told me that Mike and her had to go to work. And that the kids would be home from school within an hour or so. With her last words she said good-bye and added one word that sent a shiver down my spine. Son.

* * * * * * *

Chapter 3

I ended jumping onto the bed with it's blue comforter and sheets. The pillows felt so soft and I felt as if I was going to sink into the bed. Closing my eyes I curled up in the bed. Eventually I fell into a deep sleep and enjoyed my new home.

Dreams? Never had them. I mean what exactly is the point of imagining something that will never come true. I don't want false hopes or believe in them. I didn't want to be adopted earlier cause I thought I would be held back by them but look at me now. Asleep in a comfortable bed and a nice house to live in. Just because I decided to act like I would to be adopted. I still don't want to be stuck here but right now I am somewhere better, somewhere new.

In the distance I heard a door slam shut. I was brought out of my sleep and I believed it must have been one of my new "brothers". Sighing I dragged myself of the bed even though I would have loved to stay asleep on it. When I opened my door I saw a bag thrown down beside the front door. Half-expecting to see someone magically appear, I waited.

No one came and so I headed downstairs. Still in the house, like the orphanage, I walked lightly on my paws in order to make no noise. The only difference from the wooden floors from the orphanage and here was that the wooden boards didn't squeak, maybe that came with how they were new.

On the last step I stretched my neck to check the corners, thinking that someone was going to pop out of somewhere. When I deemed the coast was clear I lightly stepped onto the floor. I looked into the doorway into the kitchen and saw a new face. On a stool, with their back facing me, sat a silver wolf. The tips of his ears and tail were gray and he looked like he was taller than me. Apparently he was Mike's son because he was as ripped as Mike. Also it was obvious that this was the oldest son because I done saw their youngest.

Not to mention that silver wolf seemed to dress normally. He had on a blue t-shirt and white shorts. He didn't notice me staring at him through the open doorway and I didn't want to say hi. If I could I would avoid a conversation. When I turned to walk away from the scene I stumped my foot on his book bag. I was about to curse but when I was about to grab my paw my fur on the back of my neck stood up. I turned my head to look back at the silver wolf who was now looking at me with a stupid grin on his face. In one had he had a water bottle and the other keys to a car.

"What are you laughing at?!" I yelled at him as soon as he started giggling.

"You." He said walking over to help me up. "So your suppose to be our new brother." He mocked, when he poked me on the forehead. Like I predicted he was at least two inches taller. I swatted his hand away and turned to walk away. "I am surprised mom hasn't made you get new clothes yet." He was referring to the mangy clothing I wore most of my life. A ripped jade jacket and jeans with holes in them. My black fur just seemed to seep out of the rips and tears of my clothing but it didn't bother me.

"Well this is all you get when your an orphan." I muttered under my breath. I didn't want him to hear the depression in my voice. I just stood in the middle of the open area as I heard the silver wolf walk closer to me.

"Whats your name?" He asked me. I could feel him breathing down on my neck and the heat radiating off him. I just turned my head slightly so I could look him in the eyes.

"Kevin." I said, starting to get annoyed by the other wolf. I just wanted to blow him off like the furs in the orphanage but that wouldn't be possible. He was going to keep talking to me weither I liked it or not.

"I'm Jason." He said with that same smile on his face. It was identical to the same one Carol gave. Although there was something different about his that I couldn't put my finger on. It wasn't a your welcome or your nice but something else.

Jason held out his paw and still had that same look on his face. I looked down at his welcoming paw then back at him. Without another word I just turned and left him standing alone in the open area. Putting my paws in my jacket I walked down the long hall to the balcony. As I opened and shut the door I felt a cooling breeze. I just closed my eyes and felt my knotted fur blow through the wind.

When the breeze died I leaned over on the railing of the balcony. Looking left and right I could see their whole backyard. It was amazing at how much stuff they fit back here. They must have really good jobs or something. Almost made me wish I was raised in a place like this instead of that orphanage.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a staircase leading down to ground level. With one paw in front of the other I made way down. There was not much for me to do anyways. I mostly just wanted to look. As I stepped off the last step I felt the grass brush underneath my pads. Stretching my toes I stood there feeling the soft under growth beneath me.

"You know you can do stuff rather than just stand there!" I heard the familiar voice of the silver wolf. He was really starting to get on my nerves. I looked up at him leaning with his back against the railing. He wasn't even looking at me but up at the sky.

"If it isn't around you then I would stand anywhere!" I yelled back up at him. His ears twitched from the sound of this and he bothered to look down at me. His face went from a blank expression from when he was staring at the sky to that same stupid grin. Once more I just gritted my teeth and walked away from him.

With my ears tuned on him I heard him coming down the stairs. He was taking his time as I was walking across the yard. Before I realized it I was standing beside the deep end of the pool looking at the motionless water. "I know I would be willing to keep you company if your lonesome." I heard Jason say from probably around five feet away.

"I don't care..." I muttered and just stared back at the water. He took a step closer.

"Why does it seem like your struggling with something?" He asked.

"Don't bother me..." I muttered once more. I was unable to raise my voice at all right now. I just wanted to be by myself. He took another step.

"If you need something just ask?" He said. Taking another step towards me.

"Why do you care?!" For once I turned to look at him. My once drowsy eyes staring down at the water now looked at him with malice. 'Why should he care what I do? No one ever did. What makes him think he is so special?'

Jason's eyes were staring right back at he with the same degree. He looked as pissed as me. If he wanted to he could have beat my ass right there. He didn't even say another word to me. Instead he just stood and stared at me. I wanted to turn and walk away but that was all I done my whole life. Earlier I was trying to do the same to him. So why did he follow me?

As I was about to say something. Jason turned to walk away. This time he was leaving me. Just till recently I wanted to get away from him and now that he was the one walking away I wanted him to come back. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to cry but there was nothing left for me to cry.

I just watched Jason walk back up the stairs, onto the balcony, opening the door, and finally shutting it behind him. Speechless I just watched and hoped that he would come back. I sat down next to the calm water in the pool. Pulling my knees up to my chest I wrapped my arms around them. As I laid my head on top of my knees I just watched the sun reflect off the water and waited. I don't know what I was waiting for but I just sat there...waiting.

* * * * * * *

Chapter 4

As I reflected on my past I remembered how much my life sucked. No one to call a friend or anyone to keep me company when I cried. There were times when people would try and help but I just threw them away. Jason tried the same thing just hours ago and I treated the son of my adopters like trash himself.

I still had no idea of what I was waiting for beside that pool, but even as the sunset I was still there. Stars started to come out and the moon took the sun's place. A cooling breeze blew threw the trees, knocking few leaves off. Occasionally there would be one that landed right beside me. I would just pick it up and twirl it by the stem in till I decided to let it go.

I cried to myself as I put my head down, in between my knees and chest. A few tears dripped out of my eyes and onto my black fur. Silent weeps were the only things that kept me awake. I was to tired to get up from my spot and have to go face the family inside the house.

It was probably already getting close at midnight before I bothered to move. Wiping my eyes I picked myself up from the ground. Taking in a deep breath I looked away from the water and towards the lit house. The windows were filled with blinding lights and I wondered if anyone even cared that I wasn't even in there. Why should they care?

My eyes started back watering as I realized that they didn't even care. It was a false hope they would care. After all I am just a lowly orphan. Compared to their sons Carol and Mike could care less about me. Finally I noticed that one by one the lights inside were cutting off. They probably locked the doors as well. They left me like a common stray on the side of the road.

Looking away from the house I turned back to the pool. Suddenly a thought appeared in my head. How long would it take for me to drown? I wasn't thinking straight but right now it was the only solution for me. With each step I crept closer to the edge of the pool. As small as I was I should sink right to the bottom.

With one more step I walk right off into the deep end of the pool. I hesitated at first but I took one last looked back at the giant home. My eyes were still watering and I couldn't tell if I was seeing things when I saw a motion on the balcony. But it didn't matter, no one would miss me after all. I turned my attention back to my fate and plunged off into the ice cold water.

I somehow ended up turning my body in the water so that I was looking back up at the moonlit night. I couldn't even really notice the cold water seeping through my fur and making contact with my bare skin. Ripples were being sent throughout the water to even it out and I was some what glad that the motionless water was finally moving. I felt my back hit the bottom of the pool as I watched the stars and started losing consciousness but I heard a faint sound in the background. Right before the darkness I saw something coming towards me. It looked almost like an angel coming to take me away but I knew I wasn't going to heaven.

As I waited in the darkness I looked left and right. "So this is the afterlife." I said to myself. Now all I can do now is wait for my judgment unless I was already in hell. Which is why I now understand why people went to church and prayed. No one wanted to stay in a lonesome, quiet place like this. It was death itself just waiting in nothingness. I thought I was lonesome before now I regretted everything. I just wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere but here.

"It's going to be okay." I heard a light voice whisper into my ear. Looking madly around I tried to find the source. No one was near me and I didn't seem anything else except myself and the darkness. Those words stayed in my head for a while in till I finally saw something. It was a bright light. In a instant I ran towards, hoping it would take me to freedom.

My eyes shot open and I took in a quick, deep breath. I looked at my surroundings and none of it seemed familiar. I was in a room and in a bed but I didn't know whose. The comforter was pulled over my body and I was snugged in tight. When I tried to move something pulled me back. I turned my head to see a silver wolf cradling me close to his chest. He was asleep but his body was ever more close to my own. His strong arms wrapped around me and kept me close to him.

The more I struggled the stronger his hold got. Then I realized that Jason wasn't even awake but that he saved my life and brought me inside to his room. Where he is holding me close while we were both...naked? I didn't even notice the absence of our clothes as my wet fur was connected Jason's warmth. I wanted to get closer as if he was a fireplace keeping me from returning the cold but I didn't want to risk waking him and having to explain myself to him.

I hated talking to the wolf but he always talked to me. Why? I don't know. There is something about him that just pisses me off but there is nothing he does wrong. It seems that he just wants to help me but I just keep pushing him back. With that thought I came to a realization. I knew what I was waiting for. I was waiting for someone to care enough about that they would be my guardian angel. It turned out that Jason was that person but I didn't care. I had someone to care about me.

With that first happy thought I had ever had I decided to bundle closer to Jason. Resting my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Thump. It was so calm and soothing. I could have listened to it all night if I didn't go ahead and fall asleep in his arms.

Birds chirping outside made me stir in my bed. I was trying to feel around for Jason but I realized that he was gone. I sat up in the bed and looked around. I was back in my room and I had something on. I pulled the covers off to reveal that I had boxers underneath. 'Was yesterday a dream?' I thought. There was no way. I woke up back at the house. But that didn't explain why I was back in my room or why Jason was missing or even saved me.

I picked myself off the bed and looked around for my baggy clothes. They were no where to be seen. How could I lose them? In the corner of my eye I saw a note hanging on the door. I ripped it off and started to read what it said.

_ Meet me in the bathroom when you wake up. Jason_

I looked at the note in awe. It had to be a joke or something. There was no way what happened last night was real. I mean sure it was nice that Jason saved me and all... I just realized that I actually enjoyed being held by him. I was almost disgusted by the thought. I mean I wasn't gay but... I have no explanation of how to describe it though.

Forgetting all about getting dressed I lead myself down to one of the bathrooms. He didn't put which one and so I guessed the one to the right of the upstairs hall. Turning the knob my heart was racing, half expecting to have something pounce out at me. When I swung the door open there was nothing waiting for me, so I walked right in.

I heard the door shut behind me and I turned to see Jason leaning against the wall. His arms across his chest and he was looking at me with a death glare. "What the hell were you thinking?!" He yelled at me as he got closer.

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" I yelled back, throwing the note at him. Of course it bounced right off because it was paper but still. It was worth a shot. Now Jason was standing right in front of me, looking down at me. The larger wolf, not too mention muscular, looked almost sad.

"Just tell me why." His voice dropped and I could see his fists shaking. But it wasn't with fury or rage but more like sadness. Why would he be upset if I died? Who would miss me? I haven't done anything; yet, he acted like I was the king about to be executed. I wanted to answer him but truth be told I didn't really have an answer. So I just went with...

"I don't know." I looked down to the ground. I couldn't stand not seeing the silver wolf not happy. The only times I haven't seen him happy was twice. When I yelled at him before I tried to drown myself and now. Other than that he was always smiling.

"I need an answer. Anything..." He looked up from the ground and towards me. "anything at all will do." Was I really causing him this much pain? I couldn't stand to look at him like this let alone let words come out of my mouth. Only one answer came to mind now that he said anything will do.

With one quick motion I was past him and at the door. "I didn't believe I was worth saving." I said opening and closing the door behind me. I went back to my old ways. Throwing people aside like yesterday's news. The one person that cared about me and not only once but twice I threw him away. I doubt he will even want to speak to me anymore.

* * * * * * * *

Chapter 5

I closed my door behind me and leaned back on it for support. I felt terrible after saying those words to Jason and then just turning tail and leaving him. I know I could have been nicer than I have been to him but I just had the urge, the thrive to be a total ass. I don't know why though. In my heart I wanted to break down and cry for him but my head was telling me to say something different.

Which part of me was the one to cause me to have a miserable life? That question, if answered, would have solved everything. If only there was someone to answer it for me. It was going to have to be an answer I was going to have to find myself.

Finally realizing that I had no clothes to wear I opened my door a crack to see if anyone was around. It seemed like no one was there. So I opened the door and tried to make my way to Jason's room. Mostly because he more than likely kept my clothes from last night in there and that I also wanted another chance to talk to him.

"Kevin! You awake?" I heard the familiar voice of Carol. The caring wolf that decided that she wanted to adopt me above all others. Although I still don't know why but right now my living quarters were better.

"Yeah!" I yelled back to let her know. I leaned over the edge of the guard rail to see Carol motioning me to come downstairs. I looked back at the door to Jason's room and decided that our talk was going to have to be later. With one hand on the rail I hurried down the stairs to land on the wooden floor. If felt nice to walk on wood that didn't creak whenever you stepped on it. Carol was waiting for me at the entrance way to the kitchen and grabbed my paw before I could ask what she wanted.

"Ta-da!" She said putting me in front of a giant bag. "Go ahead, open it." She pushed me forward towards the bag. I took one paw to tip one side open wide enough to look inside. My eyes probably would have showed how amazed I was if I was facing Carol. Inside the bag held enough clothes to keep inside a wardrobe. "What do you think?"

"Thanks." I said going through the multitude of clothes till I found the ones I like best. I found a new pair of jeans and a red t-shirt. I quickly put them on and picked up the bag to give to Carol.

"No." She said pushing the bag back at me. "All of those are yours."

"Really?" I was surprised. At the orphanage it was rare that we got an update of clothing. Most of the time it was hand-me-downs or torn clothing no one wanted. Not to mention everyone usually just got one new outfit. All the clothes inside this bag belong to me. I could hardly believe it myself. "You really didn't have to do this."

"It was no problem." She smiled. That same smile that both her and Jason shared. Every time I saw it I almost died but not only from happiness but of disgust. There was just something about the smile that tore at me that made me want to attack her. She never did anything wrong to me? So why would I have these mixed feelings, not only to her but to Jason as well. "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head to get out of the blank trance. "No, everything is fine." I tried once more at trying to smile at her but I was unable to get my lip to curl. It was an impossible thing for me. I don't know how but no matter how happy I felt I could never show these types of expressions. Anger and loneliness is easy but smiling is somewhat hard.

"Katie! Can you come here for a minute?" Carol randomly shouted out of nowhere. I might have jumped if I wasn't watching her. In merely seconds a gray tabby appeared in a maid outfit. Apparently this was the nanny. "Can you help Kevin with putting his clothes away?" The tabby just bowed and took the bags out of my hand. Then turning to walk away I followed her out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I could catch slight mutter of words coming from the tabby's mouth but not a single word did I catch. She just stared at the ground as we headed upstairs. Not a word she said was loud enough for me to pick up. Apparently what she was saying was not worth hearing.

I decided to open the door for her and the middle-aged tabby looked almost surprised. Although she did well to keep from giving away how she felt. But I was able to detect the shock in her eyes as I turned the knob before she could lift a paw. In a way I knew how she felt.

She couldn't help but look over at me as she walked through the door. She set the bags down and almost immediately started putting the clothes away. One by one I watched her fold the clothes in haste and open and shut the drawers as they filled up. There were about five in total and so it didn't take her long as she arranged them neatly within.

As she shut the last drawer she just looked at me and gave me a slight bow before she turned to leave outside. At first I didn't know what to think. First she muttered words and then had a look of shock when I opened the door before her. Now as soon as she got her work done she scurried out of the room without hesitation. The way she behaved bewildered me.

My eyes were fixed on the door in till I saw it close me within the room. Letting out a quiet sigh I turned to go to my bed when as I turned my eyes caught attention to the closet. Not a single article of clothing did she manage to navigate towards it. I am sure I saw one or two jackets in the bag but she put them in the dresser. Why would she want to avoid it? Or was she just trying to get gone as soon as possible.

Opening the drawers I saw her put the two jackets in I took them out and closed the drawer. I walked over to the opposite side of the room to reach the entrance to the closet. I reached out with one had to pull open the door. The frame stood firm as I opened but a sudden ominous feeling was sent throughout my body. I just shook it off and looked inside the dark closet in till I found something. Finally I found what I was looking for and pulled the dangling chain connected to the light bulb above.

Light filled the inside of the closet. Inside hung a rack along the wall for clothes hangers. Several were already in place and so I just set the two of the jackets on them. I struggled at first trying to get them on but in about a three minutes I got them onto the hanger with out falling off. As I turned to walk out the small closet, the chain in hand, I felt another aura go through my body.

I turned to look back inside but nothing was written along the walls. Nothing sat upon the floor, or hung from the rafters. Not a thing was in there besides me and the two jackets I just placed up. But why did I get the feeling that I was somehow being... watched?

I was unable to stand the feeling and so I quickly pulled the chain and shut the door behind me. The feeling left me but I didn't doubt that the evil aura inside still lingered within. This was the only place I have been in the house that I felt like this. I don't know why but apparently the tabby knew that and didn't even bother to look towards the closet.

Who could really blame her? Now that I have been inside I didn't even want to go back to get my jackets. I wanted to ask someone about it but they will probably think I am crazy. I mean it was probably just a part of my imagination anyways. I mean who gets strange feelings by just walking into a closet.

I walked over to my bed to lay down and try to take a nap. As I tried to get into a comfortable position I had couldn't help but think about that dreaded closet. I rolled back and forth on the bed. My eyes would make brief contact with the sturdy door. Putting my head face down on the pillow I tried to ignore it the best I could.

My eyes were focusing on the door automatically, as if something was creeping inside. A little creature wanting refuge from the dark abyss. I wanted to save it but I didn't want to get sucked into the black hole myself. I wanted to not avoid contact with the door at all cost but my eyes decided to take one more peek at the door.

They were fixed on the wooden frame. Carefully examining it, watching it as if it was about to attack. Slowly crawling along the lines within the wood towards the small, brass knob. Turning it slowly with my eyes I could imagine darkness filling it's insides. As if a monster was about to jump out I closed the door with my mind but in reality I found myself standing inside the closet. Lights off, door shut, I was trapped inside with the beast stalking it's prey.

* * * * * * * *

Chapter 6

My heart was beating at a monstrous rate. I couldn't calm myself as I looked blindly in the darkness. I felt along the walls in till I found the door. Shaking the door knob as hard as I could it wouldn't budge. I was trapped inside.

Panicing I tried to ram the door. Not even bothering to take the time to pull the chain hanging inches above my head for light. The sturdy doorway wouldn't even bother to move as I took my whole body force into breaking it.

The evil aura that lingered within seemed to be getting denser, darker. I could feel it seeping through my fur as I was coated with the darkness. My pitch black fur was not even noticeable in the darkness and yet the aura seemed to detect me easily. I felt as if someone was watching me, laughing at my pathetic attempts to break the door down. The constant banging slowly drifted into a feeble tap on a wall. No one heard the sounds I made. No matter how I cried it would just be pointless. No one would come to help me. Nothing would be able to penetrate the fixed door and closed room outside. Not to mention the size of the home would just make it more impossible.

Falling to my knees I scratched at the the door with my claws. With each motion a slip of wood trailed off after my claws. Even this was pointless, I was getting no where. Letting my hands fall to the carpeted floor I laid down in the darkness. This was the worst I ever felt. I was locked in a dark room by myself with a strange aura filling my bones. I just wanted it to go away but it would just send shivers down my spine if I thought of freedom.

What kind of closet is this? It is more of a place of torture than a simple clothes rack. Struggling to break free would be pointless and hiding would do nothing but keep you further from the door. The closet wasn't even that big and so I was stuck in a small area with barely any room to move.

Rolling onto my back I instantly hit the wall. I heard a loud thump and grabbed my nose. Rubbing it, trying to get the pain to leave, just made it worse. A moment later I heard something fall. It landed right beside me and yet I couldn't tell what it was. I reached out my hand to feel the object and it seemed to be a chest of sorts. It wasn't really big and so you could just call it a box.

As my hand traveled further down the box I felt something cold reach my hand. I fondled with it for a moment till I realized it was a lock. Who would lock a chest away in a closet that everyone wanted to avoid? My thoughts took me out of realization that someone was opening the door. The light in my room shined into my eyes as a familiar figure stood in front of me.

The silver wolf looked down at me with a confused look on his face. "How do you lock yourself in a closet?" Jason always knew how to rub me wrong. The adopters son just pissed me off for unknown reasons. There was something about him that just got me upset but I just didn't know what.

"Like you care." I snarled. He just couldn't help but smile. That same smile he shared with his mother. Carol just seemed to be friendly when she smiled but when Jason pulled it out it was strange. It didn't give off the same love like Carol but something different. I think that is what pissed me off the most about him. I didn't understand him. I have lived here two days and I already know so little about him along with the other family members. Yet all of them seem to be happy when I looked so pissed; although, I hadn't really spoke to Jason's younger brother yet. In fact I didn't even know his name.

"You going to sit there all day?" Jason said holding out his paw. I reached out to take it but instantly pulled back. Why would I need his help to get up? Pushing myself off the ground I looked back down at the chest. Jason seemed to notice it as well since he picked it up and started inspecting it. "Whats inside?" He asked trying to look through the small peephole above the lock.

"I don't know. But your going to have to get the key if you want to open it." I stated bluntly. It was an obvious statement but he apparently didn't realize the lock untill I brought it up.

"Ah, right. Do you have the key?" He looked from the box to me.

"If I had the key I would have opened it." I grabbed the box out of his hands and pushed the silver wolf out of my room. He tried to stall by saying he wanted to see the contents but I didn't really care.

Once the door closed I took a good look back at the box. What was inside? I fondled with the padlock, hoping that it would magically open. Alas, it didn't and so I decided to search the place I found it. I almost immediately regretted this decision but I opened the door to the closet and all felt fine.

This time I wasn't blasted with an evil aura or something that made me want to go insane. I stepped inside and looked around for a key. Getting onto my hands and knees I searched the floor. After a few minutes I gave up and sighed. The key was nowhere to be found and the contents of that box would have to remain a secret for now. Putting the box where I found it, I shut the closet door. Realizing that I had nothing to do besides just sit here on my bed, I then decided to go explore around the house on my own. I opened the door to my bedroom and was greeted by a pair of puppy dog eyes. "Don't you have classes or something?"

Jason saw that his attempt wasn't working and so he got up off the ground to look down at me. "Nope, it's a Saturday." This caused to get the same stupid grin on his face. "Where are you going?" He asked as he finally noticed I walked right past him. I was already on the ground floor before I answered.

"I don't know. I am just walking around." I answered him for once. Pacing myself I looked around a little bit as I heard Jason walking off somewhere followed by a door shutting. More than likely he just headed off to his room. I quickly lost interest of thinking about Jason, it gave me a headache almost imagining him.

I shook the thought out of my head and my ears started to pick up a new noise. Walking along the wall beside the stairs the noise got louder. I craned my neck around the corner to look around in the living room. I could clearly see that the TV was on and that some sort of cartoon was on.

At first I didn't see anyone on the opposing side but then I could see a flicker above the couch. It was a pair of ears occasionally twitching from noise. Stalking behind whoever was sitting on the sofa I looked down at Jason's little brother. He was still in his pajamas and had a drink in one paw while the other contained the remote.

Every few seconds he would flip the channel to something new. He didn't notice me standing behind him untill I bothered to speak. "What are you doing?" This question randomly popped out and I could see the fur stand up as a shiver went through his body. It was obvious that I startled him.

Without even looking back at me he replied. "Seeing if anything on TV is worth watching." This answer was so bluntly stated that I couldn't even tell what his emotions were. So I decided to ask him a simpler question.

"My name's Kevin. What yours?" I asked, hoping he would at least look at me this time.

"Mom and Dad done told me your name. They also said that I saw you at the orphanage a while back but I don't remember." He added things that I didn't really care to know then he skipped out on my question. So I decided that there wasn't going to be much of a conversation if I stayed near the kid and turned tail.

I heard my stomach growl as I started walking and I headed straight off to the kitchen. "My name is Alex by the way." Now he answered when I didn't care to know anymore. More importantly when I went off to get something to eat and find something better to do then have him rain on my day.

"Good to know." I replied as I started to go through the cabinets to find something to eat. As soon as I reached the one with a box of cereal, Frosted Flakes, I grabbed it and set it down. Then went on hunting for a bowl to pour the cereal in.

"They are in the third cabinet to your left." I heard Alex call towards me. At first I was thinking he was just messing around. But I decided to test his theory and counted three cabinets down. As I opened the door I saw different types of bowls inside, but more importantly I wanted to know how he knew that. My stomach growled again and I hurried off to the fridge to grab the milk.

I found it easily, as it was on the top shelf, and started to make myself breakfast, even though it was already around 12:30. Not really caring about the time I dug into the bowl. "Mom and Dad already left for work about an hour ago. They told me to tell you that they won't be back till around nine. Also they said that Jason is having friends over and that you should try to have fun with them." I looked up from my bowl and looked over my shoulder to see the small gray wolf looking at me.

"Do you always sneak up on people?" I asked. So far Alex seemed to be getting weirder and weirder by the minutes. He just shrugged and headed out of the doorway leading back to the living room.

Seconds later he popped his head back in. "Do you always eat like a that?" At first I was wondering what he was talking about then I looked down at the bowl. I hadn't used a spoon. "If you do then your more feral than you lead on."

"Haha very funny, now go back watching your cartoons or whatever." This time he left for good and I felt stupid for not looking for silverware first. But nope, I had to let myself dive into the bowl and gobble it all up. I was sure that I had already given the family a bad impression from this get go, but this didn't do anything but make me look worse than I believed I was.

Regretting my actions I headed over to the sink and put the bowl inside. The sink was rather empty, except for two bowls, including mine, and a plate. I poured some water into the bowl as we were told to do in the orphanage. It had to do with keeping them clean or something. I never really paid any real attention to them over there but I might as well use the manners that I learned. As I turned the water off I heard a loud knock on the front door.

* * * * * * *

Chapter 7

"Jason! You're friends are here!" Alex was calling for Jason. Apparently he didn't want to open the door for them but neither did I. Then again I never met them and I would look stupid letting someone I didn't know into a house that I recently moved into. Another knock was on the door added with a voice.

"Alex stop being a little..." The voice was quickly cut off before the sentence was finished. I chuckled under my breath because I fully understood what the next words where going to be. None of them were all to pleasant.

Suddenly I heard paws hitting the wooden stairs and onto the floor. Jason was already on his way to get the door. The silver wolf actually put on some shorts and a shirt since I last seen him trying to play me over to get a peek of what was inside the mysterious box I found. I was just as curious as he was at the moment. I wanted to go back to my new room and try to find the key to that padlock that kept it secure.

Since Jason had friends over I doubt that I would have any time to search. Mostly because if they were anything like him I wouldn't have a moments rest. Sighing at the thought of being surrounded by furs, all of them based off Jason. I wanted to try and hide myself from them but they knew the place better than me. Also I would have to eventually walk out and most likely walk into them. Letting out another sigh I thought, "Lets get this over with."

When Jason opened the door I felt my heart skip a beat as I realized that I didn't want to meet them. I mean I never made friends and I have already been doing a poor job on getting on the family's good side. How will it end up if I pissed them off. They didn't have the slightest reason not to punch me. Then again I got that a lot back in the orphanage. Mostly everybody swore as to talk to me instead of saying my actual name.

This caused some stress in my life along with the beatings I got. I can't really remember such memories as they were something that I forgot. I never really had a memory that I wanted to cherish. Idle thoughts were what caught me. I easily amused myself with simply listening to that old clock, looking out the window. No one seemed to bother me then.

When I found myself in that old wooden chair, I felt as if I was finally at a place of peace. The booming of the old fashioned clock was what got me hooked. Every hour it would send a sound similar to those in a clock tower. That sound was unique and something that I thoroughly enjoyed. I wanted to close my eyes and just go back to the times of when I would just look out the window, watching cars going either to the left or right. With only the sound of the ticking of the clock to keep me company.

My eyes darted as I saw Jason being almost knocked to the ground as the door was fully open. This brought me out of my thoughts long to make me longer worry about their opinions of me. If they didn't like me, so what? They surely wouldn't be the first.

There were only two of Jason's friends that walked through the door. One was a massive bull that walked behind Jason. Who was dragging a green lizard, that jumped onto Jason as the door opened but never let go. So far it seemed that they were more different than Jason then I had thought.

"Let go of me, Kyle!" Jason growled as the lizard just got a stronger grip. I noticed him laughing under his breath, neither one seemed to notice me standing in the kitchen. The snickering lizard finally got off but not necessarily the way I would have thought. The bull happened to pick the lizard rather easily off of Jason, bad part about it was he yanked on the lizard's tail.

"Put me down, Tom!" The infamous tongue reptiles owned seemed to slither out on it's own as Kyle spoke. His deep brown eyes seemed to be glaring through the bull's soul as he dangled upside down.

"If you say so." The gray bull had a much deeper voice than expected but it seemed to fit his type of body, massive. Following the lizard's recent command he put him down, just not the way the lizard had hoped. Releasing his grip on the lizard's tail Kyle fell straight towards the floor.

The lizard landed on his head and his body seemed to bend him so that his tail laid along his chin. Since my luck is apparently so horrible, Kyle noticed me as the direction he was facing when he landed was towards the kitchen.

"You have a new friend?" Kyle's eyes didn't look away from me for a moment. While normally I would have turned away and left but I happened to be in shock and couldn't look away from the bent lizard. As he did to the bull, Kyle looked as if he was seeing every inch of my body. I felt my fur send a wave through out my fur as one by one it stood up. There really was something weird about him, almost as if it was hypnotizing.

"Him?" Jason lend over so that he could look into the kitchen. The bull joined his gaze as all three pairs of eyes landed on me. My eyes felt as if they were wide open and my body was telling to walk away. The only problem was that I couldn't move my feet, let alone turn away. "That his my new brother."

"Why does he get to be your new brother?" Kyle sounded almost disappointed; although, the crossing of his arms made it rather obvious.

"What are you getting all puffed up about?" Jason got behind Kyle and kicked him in the back, causing him to roll over. They instantly forgot about me and were back to talking amongst themselves.

"Well your an assss." The last word slid out from the roll of the lizard's tongue. Jason then smacked him across the back of the head. Looked as if it would hurt.

"What did I tell you?" The lizard just shrugged and I saw Jason twitch his head over to where Alex was sitting. I got the reason why the lizard was smacked and why his voice was cut off earlier. Jason didn't want Alex to hear that kind of language.

With that, another thought popped into my head. Or maybe he just didn't want to get told on and then later get in trouble. Both of them seemed to make sense but neither one did I want to believe. But if I had to choose I would rather pick the first other than the second.

"Oh, right. Gotcha." Kyle apparently, just now got what he was talking about. I felt almost bad for how clueless the lizard was. Then I almost envied him. I mean at least he had friends while I was standing alone in the wind.

At the time I knew if I asked, Jason would have gladly accepted me as a friend as well as a brother. But I never really wanted to ask, let alone open up to anyone. Anybody could simply ask a question and not be alone anymore but I didn't want that option to be open to me. I didn't deserve such luxuries as friendship or times considered good. I only got what I deserved, which was utter hell. At that time I could live with that and have hating eyes watch me standing alone.

* * * * * * * *

Chapter 8

'What are you waiting for, Kevin?' That was the first thought that rushed to my head. I could only wait and see what would unfurl before me. Nothing in this world seemed to make sense at the moment. Mixed thoughts and emotions were what felt held me back. If only I understood that but I didn't want to believe this.

I always lived on my own and I always will. There was nothing that anybody could say to change my mind. Not Jason, not Carol, Mike, Alex, or even the people down at the orphanage. I believed that I didn't need their help, I could survive on my own. I can walk on my own two legs, I don't need anybody to support me like I was a cub. I didn't want to find myself alone either. I never wanted to be alone but I knew I always would. You can ask me to change but that is harder than what everyone says it to be. I can't even manage a smile for when I am grateful. I am pathetic.

Say I did change, that I did want their help. What if they got up and left me. They, themselves, found me hopeless and began to hate me. I didn't want to open myself up to just be broke down once more. When I was at the orphanage I hated everyone there, especially the ones that tried to help. Living seemed hard but I kept pushing myself to go on.

Survival made me take what was necessary. If my survival counted on me not having friends then that is what it will come to. I was never a person to gamble and so I never wanted to take the chances of 'what if'. What if they decided to stay and help me, where would I end up? But what if I opened up, but they just shut me out, what would I do then? There was nothing left except to only look out for myself. My own parents didn't want me, what would make this family I just met want me.

They set up the table and I had nothing to play with. I was like the blind man who got tricked to go pick roses. I didn't want to play into their hands. I didn't want this life but at the same time I did. I never wanted to feel like this. The feeling of my head scratching at my skull and my heart beating my chest. I hated this feeling and I could only blame it upon them.

The pain didn't stop even when I tried to cradle my head with my hand. Squeezing my skull, I hoped the pain would go away. Grit your teeth and run, was all I could think. That option sounded good as I just watched Jason blindly talking to his friends while Alex just sat on the couch watching T.V. So I did what I could, I ran.

I was already out the front door and found myself somewhere along the driveway. Kneeling to the ground was forced upon me as the pain wouldn't stop. Putting both my hands on my skull, I squeezed even harder. My muzzle felt tense then my full jaw power forcing my mouth shut. Shutting my eyes and letting my whole world go blind. Even this didn't help.

I just wanted to be relieved of this pain and suffering. It hurts... it hurts... "It hurts." I couldn't help myself as that one phase started to repeat itself over and over. Where was this coming from? I had no answers where most people would just call this a migraine. But I knew this was more, so what could it be?

"What hurts?" I felt a friendly paw landing on my back. Instantly I opened my eyes and flipped myself on my back. I crawled away from the surprising voice. It was Jason, but he was by himself.

"Why are you here?" I growled. I was starting to find it harder to be mad at his face. This time he seemed more worried than confused. He squatted down in front of me so that we were eye level.

"What else was I suppose to do when I saw you running out the door? Wait for YOU to come home?" He chuckled at this comment. Apparently he found it funny but all I noticed was the emphasize on the "you" part. Now he was staring straight into my eyes. I quickly broke the glance and turned to look at the ground.

"You shouldn't of came after me." I was almost glad that he came after me. I mean this was actually the first person to ever do something so irritating but kind to me. What gave him the right to chase after me as if I was his lost puppy.

"Why is that?" I noticed him cocking his head to the side and leaned so that he could get a better look at my face.

"I wanted to be alone." I folded my ears back as I said this. I don't know whether it was from shame or embarrassment but Jason knew something was off.

"Kevin, I have seen some pretty strange things in my life. But you in the past few days take the cake. First you try to ignore me, then you try to kill yourself, and now you are telling me that you ran out of the house just so you could be by yourself." Out of the corner of my eye I saw him standing back up. "You know what I say to that?"

I looked back at his silver paws all the way to his gray tipped ears. The sun was shining right on top of him as he held out his hand for me to grab. "Bullshit." At first I wanted to give him my response but I reached for his hand first. "Well what else am I suppose to do?" This time I just spoke normally to him. There was no anger or hate in the tone this time.

"You can always talk to someone. Talk to me if you have to. Right now I think you need me more than my idiot friends." He helped lift me off the ground.

"Talk to someone?" I was lost about what he meant.

"Yeah, you know. You talk to someone when you are feeling down or just need to get something off your chest." He sounded all confident about what he was saying. I knew he just wanted me to feel better, oddly enough it was working. I didn't even notice the pain anymore, in fact it wasn't there. "Also don't bring up, when I said bullshit around Tom. He takes that as an offense. I'm not sure why though."

We were already on our way walking back to the house. The whole time he was smiling and I just couldn't help but look. Somehow I felt... glad? that he was happy. Suddenly he stopped walking and held me back with him. "I have a great idea."

"What?" I was slightly intrigued by what he was thinking while confused.

"Let's have a race." He looked at me with a big smile on his face with his eyes closed. The look almost fitted him but the problem was that he couldn't see.

"I don't-"

"The winner gets to ask the loser anything," He cut me off in mid-sentence but apparently he knew my answer. "The loser has to agree no matter what. Deal?" He was already looking forward with his feet spread apart as if he was about to take off.

With one last look at me I nodded my head. Now both of us faced further along the driveway towards the house. "Ready. Set." I had my feet tensed and ready for take off at this point. "GO!" I sprang forward and felt my paws clawing up loose gravel as I ran forward.

Panting, I bent over, out of breath. I hadn't ran that much and that fast in a long time. Looking up at Jason he seemed just as tired as me. "Was it worth it? The race that is." I couldn't help but ask as I saw a face of regret on his face.

"Of course it was." His happiness seemed to instantly come back as I spoke. "After all, you lost, so you have to agree to one thing I say." Standing up straight I wanted to get it off as soon as possible.

"Alright, what is it?" I crossed my arms and tapped my paw as I saw Jason start thinking. Suddenly he turned to face me and answer but the door sprang open.

"There you two are." Kyle was already bounding out onto the porch with Tom inside with the door wide open. "You hanging out with your new 'lover?'" Kyle nudged at Jason's chest as he spoke. I saw him pass a wink to Jason as I realized what he meant.

"Get off me!" Jason said pushing Kyle away. But Kyle came right towards me.

"He kiss you yet?" The lizard was starting to annoy me to but Tom yanked on his tail to get him to shut up. "Will you stop that!" He pulled his tail out of the bull's hand and nursed it with his own two hands. "It isn't like he doesn't know."

Jason shook his head and did a face paw. "He didn't know, Kyle." Jason was gay and everybody knew but me. I mean last night should have been enough proof but I just thought it was to keep me warm. You know, an act of kindness.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that." The lizard sounded legitimately sorry about it. I guess Jason believed that I was homophobic at the time. In fact I couldn't hate him for it. I had nothing against him or who he is. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I was when I started thinking about if I was too.

"Can we finish this inside?" Jason asked both Tom and Kyle. Of course I knew he also meant that the whole question thing was happening later. I believe that is for the best for the load that just got poured out.

"So do they also know about what happened, ya know? Last night." I whispered this into Jason's ear since we were the last two entering. Kyle and Tom continued walking when Jason stopped me in my tracks. He waited untill they were inside the kitchen before he said anything.

"What happened last night stays between us. Got it?" He seemed almost upset, practically demanding. I thought he wanted to keep the whole bed scene a secret from everyone, at least that was what I thought before he continued. "No one can know about the stunt you pulled. Mom and Dad will freak and have you go see a doctor and possibly have you checked out for some mental illness. I know that you didn't mean it but you got to understand the position your in."

He was right. Whether I liked it or not there were people that cared about my safety. Maybe it was about time I stopped being my old self and try something new. If only Jason knew how much those words that day meant to me. I can honestly say that I never cared about anyone else until now.

* * * * * * * *

Chapter 9

Laying in my bed seemed reassuring. I mean it was MY bed, I know that just about every kid has a bed. But to me this meant everything. Today I came to realize a lot of things. First thing that I learned was that people seemed to care for me. Second, I didn't just have to rely on myself to survive. I have others that will be there for me. Lastly, I came to notice the truth of Jason's sexuality.

These three things kept me awake through the night. Once Jason's friends left and I ate with the family for once, I felt as if I found a place I could call home. But I knew that it wouldn't be the same as I didn't fully belong with them. After all I am just some washed up wolf that just happened to have a lucky break.

I lifted my paw as if I was reaching for the ceiling. My black fur made it impossible to see the paw in the middle of the night. The dark room seemed to make my senses useless. Useless. That word went further back in my head then I wanted. Tightening my paw, in a fist, I could feel my muscles tense as I remembered how useless I really was. I was so useless back at the orphanage, it was almost pointless for me to have been adopted.

I closed my eyes, shut tight. I held back unwanted tears as I remember the days that I used to spend alone and just cry on the inside. I wanted friends but I was too ignorant to realize my own importance. I wanted someone too blame for my problems, which turned to me blaming the ones around me. I accused them of knowing nothing and ignored them as if I never even saw them.

Back then there was more than once when I just wanted to run. Run away, to anywhere. But I would hold myself back just in case something good would happen to me. Right now I was actually happy that I made the right choice. There were other options that I could have this feeling but I didn't want them.

As it came down to it, it only took one wolf to open my eyes. Then show me how blind I was. Even though I treated him like he was nothing, he would still have faith and keep coming back. Then to add onto that, the same wolf is considered my brother. Now here I lay where I think about how he saved me from another stupid mistake I made. Then when he wanted me to answer a simple question, I just gave him what I thought my whole life.

I only wanted to go apologize to him. Hopefully just get off a "I'm sorry." and then just leave. That was the least I owed him but it was nowhere near close enough to paying off the debt. He saved my life and in older times it would have now belonged to him. But it being the present we can just say thank you and it will all be over. Somehow I knew that wasn't enough, but I just had to say something to him.

Sitting up on my bed I couldn't help but wonder what I would say to him. I mean, I am walking into his room in the middle of the night just to wake him up and say sorry. If I was going to do this I would have to have a better reason than just sorry. I couldn't think of anything and decided to just improvise.

Picking myself up off my bed, I headed straight for my door. I was still in my clothes from earlier today, as I didn't feel tired, so I didn't bother to take them off. As I pulled the door open I began to wonder what if his door was locked. If that was so then this whole thing would be pointless. I didn't want to just sneak in and just wake him up either. But I couldn't knock and risk waking everyone up.

I smacked myself mentally and just headed out into the hall. I softly shut my door behind me and walked along side the wall to the first door to my left. Letting out a slow breath I let out an almost silent knock. I waited for about a minute, hoping for a response. But nothing like that came and I was about to just head back to my room when I decided that it wouldn't hurt to check if it was locked.

Taking the knob in my paw I twisted it slightly. I could feel the door being held loosely within my paw. I pushed it slightly open to just get a peek inside. There was no light and it was as dark as my own room. Even when I squinted I could only barely make out the shape of his bed. I wanted to just shut the door, and act like this never happened but I urged myself onward.

Pushing the door open wide enough for me to slide inside I shut it behind me with a soft thud. I walked over to his bed, careful not to hit anything on my way. I could see that the silver wolf was fast asleep and I almost didn't want to wake him up. Then I thought, "I made it this far. Might as well go all the way." Taking in one more quick breath I nudged the sleeping wolf on his shoulder.

His body seemed to twitch and he pulled his covers further up his body. This time I shook his shoulder and this time I got a better result. "Is it morning already?" Jason yawned as he woke up. His eyes seemed half opened almost as if he was in a daze.

"No, but I have something to tell you." I whispered and he still seemed half awake as it seemed that he had to focus to see my outline. Apparently he could see me in the darkness of his room.

"Kevin? Is that you?" Yeah he was struggling to stay focused. Shaking my head I just continued.

"I wanted to tell that I am sorry for the trouble I caused the first day I was here." I felt relieved as I got that off my chest. Jason just looked at me as if I was strange. I thought he was still trying to wake up but I could see that he was staring at me as if it was clear as day.

"You didn't cause any trouble. All you did was just do something stupid. I don't blame you for anything. Just don't be to harsh on yourself, okay?" Why does he always have to make an apology so hard. Can't he just accept my sorry and be done with it?

Deciding that I didn't want to start an argument in the middle of the night I just turned to leave. Before I started to head towards his door I just looked back at him to say one more thing. "But anyways, thanks for saving my life." Before I turned my head back I could see his ear twitch. Almost as if he couldn't believe what I just said. Why wouldn't he be surprised, just earlier that same day I said that I wasn't worth saving.

"Hey, Kevin." I turned to look back at Jason. "You still you owe me from that bet earlier."

"Yeah, I know." I could see his same stupid grin on his face even though it was night. Then I saw him shift in his bed so that he was sitting up. The first thing that caught my eye was that he completely nude. At first I just blushed and I thanked that heavens that it was middle of the night and I had pitch black fur. "Do you always sleep nude?"

Jason just looked down and looked a little embarrassed himself. "Uhhh, just give me a second." I turned right back around so that he could get something on. If I wasn't already beginning to question my sexuality then I probably would not have been as affected by seeing that. But all I knew was that I was a little taken back, like a little girl about to faint from meeting a movie star or something. "Okay I am done."

Turning back around I saw that he put on a pair of boxers but even then I couldn't help but just look at him. Shaking my head, I stopped myself from looking over him. "How about you sleep with me?"

This surprised me a little more. I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, 'How about you sleep with me?'" I could tell that he wasn't looking at me but at the ground. I could tell that he was nervous and that he wasn't exactly sure of how I would react. Then I saw him look back up at me and I could see that he a look of regret in his eyes. He was about to speak once more but I cut him off.

"That's fine." I actually kind of wanted to sleep with the wolf. Last night was actually one of the better nights that I fell asleep. I would have been a fool if I said no to his offer. But I would have done it without having lost the bet.

This time I saw a different smile on his face. It wasn't the same as his stupid, happy grin but an actual weak one. Like the same one I tried to pull off to Carol earlier that same day. He just held that smile as I kind of slowly just took off my own clothes left only in the boxers I awoke in.

As soon as I dropped my shirt on the ground Jason almost dragged me onto the bed playfully. I could tell that he was happy as I saw a huge smile on his face. At first this took me by surprise because I just felt him grab my hand and pull me towards the bed. This time when he held me with his arms, with my back against my chest, it felt different.

Last time it felt strange as I never have been held before. But now I felt almost happy to be with him but something was off. I could feel his head resting on my shoulder and I would occasionally feel his breath grazing my fur. This time I actually knew what was going on. I knew that I wanted to be here and that I was enjoying the moment.

"You know, if you wanted to make that bet more worth while you could have asked me to kiss you." I snickered as I could hear him groan in disappointment.

"Can I-"

"No. I already agreed to sleeping with you." I knew that he was smiling regardless. I knew that he now knew what to wish for next time. I cocked my head to look back at him. "Also, I would have agreed to this bet or not." I saw his eyes open wide to just look at me but I just looked away. "Good night Jason."

"Night, Kevin." Before I came to this house I wouldn't have even though about sleeping with another male. Especially if that male was the one who I was suppose to call brother. But I guess some things happen for a reason. Shutting my eyes I fell asleep and began to enjoy the second night at my new home a lot better than my first.

Carol stretched as she woke up. Mike had already got up and left for work. This time he was able to leave without waking the wolf. She actually missed the waking up with her husband. But she was also glad to have the extra minutes to sleep.

She jumped out of her bed and put on a robe to cover herself. Neither of her two sons were early risers but she wasn't sure about Kevin yet. After all he was still new to the family and she hoped that he was fitting in. She trusted that he would one day be able to call this place home.

As she walked out of her room and started down the hall she noticed that Jason's door was slightly opened. Peeking inside she was taken back by the scene she witnessed. She knew all too well of Jason's sexuality but she also knew that he was awful shy when talking to boys. But she couldn't help but smile as she saw Kevin sleeping with Jason, both of them having smiles on their faces. As she turned to leave, a necklace seemed to hold something of importance, it shined as the corner of it seemed to poke out. It was not yet clear as to what the significance of the metal trinket on the end of that rope was but only Carol could truly hold it's importance.

* * * * * * * *

Special Chapter

10 years ago...

Days went by as I sat alone underneath the old oak tree. With my head hiding behind my legs. My paws locked as I kept my legs in front of my head as I wished this would all be over. I sat alone on the grass, in the shade, watching the other furs running around giggling.

I was the only wolf in the whole orphanage and I was an outcast. I didn't feel at home here, nor even part of a pack. Like most unwanted wolves in the pack I became a loner. I would just sit back and watch the world go by.

Idle thoughts and tainted dreams was all I had to comfort me. I hoped that one day that this would all be over. That my real parents would come back and take my paw. Then go somewhere where I could be a part of a real family. For once in my life be happy.

So many days I would sit on the crackling stairs and watch the front door open and close. Each time I would hope to see their faces for the first time. Not once have I ever seen a wolf, let alone pitch-black, walk into the orphanage. For as long as I could remember I did this everyday. But eventually I stopped watching, I stopped waiting.

I grew tired of building up false hopes that would send my life further down a pit of despair. I didn't think I would be able to take much more of this agony. Undying pain and unfaithful sins was all I bared.

I never had anything to hold onto or talk to when I felt hopeless. My chest would always hurt and the pain seemed to never go away. My heart would race, not of excitement but of fear. I feared that I would be alone and that I would only keep company of myself. Others seemed always so happy.

"What's your name?" For once I looked up from my dead gaze. I could see a lion the same age as me, only six. She seemed lost as she looked down at me. Almost as if she was confused by how I was sitting.

"Kevin." I just answered her question and went back to my own personal space. Living in my own time and this cub was wanting to bother me. I found it ironic but I didn't care much for her. I knew that she would only begin to annoy me like all the other orphans. Not once had I ever bothered to speak more than a word to anybody.

"I'm Courtney." She seemed like she could smile the whole time. The sun seemed to shine down on her as she spoke. I couldn't help but watch her as I just saw her with her hands behind her back, twiddling her thumbs.

Closing my eyes I leaned completely back against the oak. The bark felt rough through my fur and I could feel the lion cub still watching me. "Why are you by yourself?"

Opening one eye I looked at her. She seemed once again lost. She wasn't going to leave me alone. So I figured I would amuse her by answering. "'Cause I don't like the people here." That was one of my reasons that I was alone. While the others were more personal than I care to admit.

"You don't like me either?" Looking at the cub I could tell that she was upset. Yet, no tears were in her eyes but instead she just continued to look at me. I wanted to tell her the truth, that I could care less about her. But I didn't want to be the one that caused her to cry.

"No." That one worded answer seemed to make all the difference. She seemed to be back to being cheerful and energetic. I was amazed by how one word seemed to make everything she saw a little bit better.

That one cub seemed to be the first thing that made start to realize happiness. I spent countless hours giving her one sided answers and just watching her from afar. She would talk to everyone and try to be everyone's friend. The shocking thing was that I almost was going to consider her as my first friend, but that didn't go as intended.

One morning as I woke up I ran through the old orphanage trying to Courtney. The only problem was that she wasn't there anymore. She was already adopted, at least that was what the owner told me. I couldn't believe what I heard, the first person that was ever nice to me, up and left.

I didn't want to imagine herself being dragged off and wanting me to come with her. After all why would she want to be even the closest thing to friends with me. I know that when she was adopted the whole time she was smiling and that she was leaving this hell behind. Without a single thought about the "friends" she made. I remember that was the one time that I truly cried, and I didn't even notice it till it was gone.

Present...

Bad dreams filled my head, along with unwanted memories. I regretted not making more of those bonds now. But now for once in my life I could actually belong to a bond that I truly loved. I didn't have to hide my emotions or think about anything else. My mind was settled down for once.

No more did I want to be the loner that walked the halls of the orphanage. But I actually wanted to change for the people that now cared for me. Almost like how I wanted to change just for that one cub. Who was now living life to the fullest with her new family. While I found refugee in my new home with Jason. But even now, as I slept, I could feel a single tear travel down and sink into my fur. That same tear belonged to those past memories that I no longer had to cling onto.

* * * * * * * *

Chapter 10

When I woke up I found myself in a similar position as the past night. Jason's strong arms wrapped around me and holding me close to his chest. I wanted to pry his paws open and get free but I also didn't want to wake him up. So I just waited for him to wake up.

Luckly, my head was facing the window and I could see through the curtains. The woods with the sun shining through every individual branch and leaf. I crept closer to the bedroom window so I could see it. Birds chirpped as they rose from their slumber and went off looking for food for their baby chicks.

From my angle I could barely see the beaks of the baby birds raising and sinking above the nest. They waited for their mother to return to feed them. That patience and trust was something to behold. As a young child would starve itself as it waits for it's parent. Seeing as how they couldn't yet fly, or hunt, waiting was their only option. Somehow I felt as if I used to fit that similar description. Waiting for someone to save me and clear my head, even with that being a small chance I still waited.

A yawning Jason broke me from my thoughts. Licking his chops and arching his back was the first thing he did when he woke up. As he stretched he put his head beside mine and hoped that I was awake. "Morning, wuffie."

"Morning to you too. Now do you mind letting me go?" He chuckled as he realized that I was stuck within his powerful arms. His face seemed to turn to one as if he was thinking about whether he should or not. "Any day now." I added as I grew weary of the waiting.

He quickly spun me around so that I was facing him and then turned to lay on his back. I was now laying on top of his muscular frame and I must have felt like a sheet of paper on top of him. "If you kiss me then, I will let you go." I could see the silver wolf grinning at his devivous little plan.

I was wanting to get free but at the same time I didn't want to end up agreeing to two things that the wolf asked. The first being for me to sleep with him. But that was because I lost the race and the bet. Now he was wanting me to kiss him just because he had the advantage.

I tried to wiggle free at first but his arms locked around the back of my spine and I was already close enough to him that we were muzzle to muzzle. I looked into his deep blue eyes as he waited, looking back in my eyes. Suddenly I caved into an urge and felt myself touching his lips with my own.

The grip around my hips was loosened and I felt his hands rubbing up against my fur. One of his went up to hold my head in that position but I was far from ending this. His other hand seemed to rub up and down my back. Picking up waves of my black fur with every motion. My eyes began to close as I grew more and more into the passionate kiss. I almost wanted to just fall back to sleep with the wolf but that thought was interrupted by a sharp whistle.

We both broke from our locked lips and looked at the doorway. There was Alex in different pajamas, I began to think that was all he wore, and he just seemed to be laughing at this sight. "Mom wanted me to wake you up, but it seems that you two did a very good job on your own." He could barely contain his laughter as he saw his blood brother and foster brother kissing. "Also mom said that breakfast is ready, I think we all know what the topic is going to be." He ran out the door just before Jason rolled me off him to go chase him down.

As I watched the silver wolf chase after his younger brother I decided to get up and leave Jason's room. As soon as I walked past the entrance I was bombarded by a mouth watering smell. I wanted to follow it down to the kitchen but I soon realized that other things were in order. Running to the closest bathroom I realized the fluid kept inside. The removal of the urine seemed to bring relief on my bladder.

Now I headed downstairs to where the intoxicating aroma was coming from. My stomach clinched as I grew closer to the smell of the food. Walking into the kitchen I saw Alex stuffing his gray muzzle with as much food as possible, while Carol had her elbows prop up her locked hands. Jason was sitting on the opposite side of Carol and were talking about something, but I only just got to hear the end of it.

"-I promise it won't be like that." Jason finished before catching Carol's glance towards me. He turned around in his chair to just look at me. Biting my lip I went and sat down at the table beside Jason. There were plates piled with food from pancakes to sasuage. At first I was amazed by the display of food and I didn't know where to begin.

So I started by taking one of everything and putting it on my plate. I began to act like Alex and just rip through the food to satisfy my hunger. "You two look cute together." I stopped eating long enough to see that Carol was looking at both me and Jason. "I wish I took a picture when I saw you two sleeping together." Alex scoffed at the sound of this but was followed by getting choked on his food.

Forcing the remaining food in my mouth, down my throat I was about to reply but Jason beat me to it. "I don't think Kevin would do that again even if I begged him." Jason just seemed to ignore Carol's gaze as he continued eating. I could only stare at him in disbelief. Why would he come up with a lie like that?

Now it was only me that Carol's stare turned to. "What do you think about that?" I could see the seriousness in her eyes. Almost as if she was a mother trying to protect her cub from harm. It looked like she would rip my throat out if I gave the wrong answer. Problem was I didn't know which one was which.

"I... uh, um..." I looked towards Jason through the corner of my eye and saw that he was eating casually. It looked as if he didn't care to even speak to me anymore. Minutes ago we were on his bed, kissing, and now he acted like I wasn't even there. I knew which answer I was giving Carol now. "No."

I continued back to finishing the meal Carol made and went ahead to putting the plate in the sink. As I began to walk out of the kitchen I watched Jason still sitting there, casually eating. He didn't even bother to take one look at me as I left. What could they have talked about when I wasn't here? Just before now Jason wouldn't leave me alone and now he was acting like I wasn't even there.

I felt a growl gurgle in my throat as I began to get mad at the wolf. He didn't even have a reason and now he decided to ignore me. All because of a question that his mom asked. Was he that afraid of what his parents would do? Or was he afraid... no it couldn't be. I shook that thought from my head as I left the kitchen.

Today was going to be different, as I now didn't have my caring stalker. 'Looks like the prey got away.' I thought for a moment before I walked around. Walking through narrow halls to open rooms, I believed that this home would go on forever. Stopping to look at a small case with glass windows I saw trophies inside. Most of them being just MVP and most of them being granted to the same silver wolf.

I couldn't help but look at the giant case that must have held Jason's pride and joy. After all, being MVP must have meant a big deal to the jock. But to see so many in place took me by surprise. As I looked further down in the case I started to see family pictures. The first one I saw was Jason standing in his uniform with a big smile on his face. He held the game ball and apparently that night was important to him.

I felt my ears lay down as I looked at how happy he must have been. I could hear a slight whimper go out my nose as I stood there. I didn't know how long I was standing there but all moments have to end one way or another. I just happened to hear something fall and a slight gasp. I turned to see the tabby from yesterday.

The maid looked surprised to see. At the same time I could have sworn I saw her blush as she bent down to pick up the box she dropped. I looked at the box with inquiring eyes for a moment but I just assumed that it was full of supplies. This one little look at the supply box got me thinking about the one I had stashed inside my room. Lingering in the darkness of the closet and it being locked tight.

Leaving the trophy case behind I found my way back to the staircase. I leaped up to the upper floor, step by step. Opening my door, I headed straight towards my closet. With a flick of my wrist it was opened and I pulled the cord dangling from the ceiling.

With the quick adjustment of light I saw the box lying still on the ground. Picking it up I carried it back off to my bed. Setting it down I started to try and pry the box open. But the lock held strong and I was moments away from finding a hammer or something to smash it open. My curiosity was killing me as I could only see the locked box.

"What are you doing?" My fur stood up and I quickly turned to face the doorway with my body hiding the box behind me.

"Uh, nothing." I answered a confused Alex. He was just standing there as if he had nothing better to do. "Hey err... do you know if you have anything like a key laying around the house?" I just had to ask but now I must sound like I was trying to hide something.

"We do, but mom always seems to hide them from us. But I did find something... be right back." I sighed in disbelief as I saw Alex turn tail. That was almost too close because if he saw the box he might have wanted to have it's contents of what ever it may be. I didn't really care on what was inside but more so, what was worth hiding.

Apparently I wasn't the only one in this house hold that held dirty little secrets. I heard paws rushing back to my room and I just hoped that whoever it was didn't see what I was trying to hide. Alex appeared around the corner and in his hand he held onto something.

"Okay this should work." He said tossing me a small metal object across the room. "It's a skeleton key, or at least that's what mom said. I found it one day when I was playing outside and if it truly is one of those keys. Then you shouldn't have any trouble with anything locked in this house."

I fumbled around the with cold, metallic key in my paw. My fingers ran across individual ridges and lines. I just looked at the small key in my hand and the weird shape that the edge had to it. This was something that was suppose to unlock everything, yet it looked as if it could unlock nothing. Besides that fact I turned and squatted to face the box, and tried to slide the key inside. It went in smoothly, so I continued by turning it to the left when I heard a sudden click.

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 11

My ears burned with anticipation. The sensation I could hardly contain as I heard that small click. Curiosity took the best of me as I lifted the top of the chest, revealing it's contents. The items within made me wonder what was so important about them.

There were several things inside but not one had I expected. There was a newspaper, a letter, and a small little husky plush toy. The husky seemed to be smiling at me with it's bead eyes, and it's fore arms outstretched to touch the air. The inanimate object seemed to be the most curious of them all. Why would someone feel the need to hide something such as this?

Picking up the small toy, which happened to be the size of my paw, I felt a small surge go through my body. A wave tingled my fur as it went up my arm and all the way down to my toes. Was this the thing causing that aura? I could only stare at it in disbelief but the longer I held it, I had no doubt that it was the offender.

The bright black eyes would just stare into mine, I could feel loneliness within the plushy. Along with that feeling, I could feel sympathy. There was something about this child's toy that I could not put my paw on. That killed me enough as it was, but I set down the husky so that I could look at the next item.

I went with the newspaper this time. Unfolding the paper I could see wrinkles and creases on the paper, making it seem old than it probably was. Now, as I held the paper fully opened, I read the headline that stated: DEATH IN THE WOLF PACK.

The headline itself got me closer to the paper. I just had to read the article and find out why something such as this had been put in here. That was how I felt, at least before I read the article. After that small section was brought to my eyes, I wish I had never found it.

A adolescent wolf was ran over last night at approximately 11:00. The murder, Carol Johnson, claimed that she didn't mean to hit the wolf but she would accept full charges. But as officers further studied the body, they were unable to recognize the wolf. The wolf that murdered one of her own kind, also claimed that there had been a cub along with him.

The authorities are looking over the cub right now. So far, it seemed as if the older male took the blow to protect the cub. Even though, the cub looked to only be a couple of weeks old. Most people are assuming that they were going to drop the cub off at the orphanage. It seems as if that is going to be the cub's only choice, for now.

That small article made me feel slightly confused. Then I took a look at the date the article was published. It was 16 years ago, the same day that I was brought into the orphanage. My paws tightened around the thin sheet of paper.

That section made my face burn with anger. I could hardly believe that the person who forced me into an orphanage was the same person who got me out. Was it suppose to be some kind of petty deal? She threw away my life and thought that if she adopted me, that everything would be okay?

I wanted to yell at her, so bad. I knew that she was still in the house and I would have to do is go downstairs. My legs felt to heavy to pick me off the ground, my arms lost their fury as they drooped to my side. Why did I have to be the one to suffer? Why could I never have a single happy moment in my life?

Blaming people over something like this would just be crude. But how could I not blame her for all the pain she gave me. She made me wish that I wasn't alive, that I would fall over dead. Only to take me to her home, where I discover that she was the perpetrator. How could she continue to look at me with that smile? Even as she knew that she was the reason I went through hell and back again. I wanted to just yell at her, but I was just too tired to try...

* * * * * * * * *

Chapter 12

My body felt heavy. Almost as if all the pain in my life had been brought back to reside in a single point. My heart. I was torn at the same time fumed with the raging fires caused by pouring gasoline on a kindling flame. I had enough...with this...game...

I wanted to tuck my body away and escape from the rest of the world. But the rest of the world wouldn't let me hide. They would open the closet I tried to hide in and drag out and onto my feet. Couldn't they understand that I wanted to be alone.

"Kevin?" My name. It was being called. Why couldn't I answer. My throat was choked up and I felt like I couldn't breath. My vocal cords were split as I opened my mouth but only wind escaped. "Kevin? Are you okay?"

"Leave..." That was the one word I could utter. Out of all the words in my vocabulary, that was all I could say to her. She may as well have killed me that night as well.

"Sorry?" Carol's paw now resided on my shoulder. I held the newspaper in one paw and in the other held a fist. The floor of my room was covered with evidence that she was the reason I was exiled to such a life I have lived. The small husky plushie made no sense as it was in there with the items, nor did the letters as I hadn't read them yet. I could only rely on the facts of that the paper read. Carol was the murder of either my brother or father.

"You caused my life to be hell!" I turned on her and glared her straight in the eyes. She had been crying. Even now, she made not a sound as tears dripped from her eyes.

"I didn't mean to..."

"Like hell you didn't! I spent six-teen years of my life in that god-forbidden place!" I was yelling at her, she had no way to defend herself.

"I-I didn't see him. It was the middle of the night, it was dark. My..." Her tears became sobs as she couldn't finish her sentence. She fell to her knees, she flooded the carpet with salty tears.

I couldn't stop shaking as I stood over the helpless wolf. The elder one seemed to be lost as she was swept with tears, unable to stop her whole body from shaking. Her paws were held close to her face, as if to stop the tears. This went on for seconds...minutes...maybe even hours. In my mind it was only us two.

Carol then removed one hand from her face and quickly grabbed the plushie and held it close to her. She was soaking the small toy in tears. But the way she held it reminded me of a mother holding a cub. Almost as if she was nursing the husky. As I watched her, I realized that my emotions got the better of me. I couldn't help but feel sympathetic as I caused her such grief.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"No, you're right. I was the one that shipped you off to that orphanage." She looked up from the plushie, to greet me with her soft eyes. The blue diamonds seemed to be magnified through the swollen tears. "But there was something else that happened that night."

My eyes perked up from this. "What?"

"My little boy died that night, as well." She looked down at the plushie at couldn't help but smile at the forced grin that the stitching put on the fake husky. "He was beautiful. He did look almost like a husky." She sniffed as she just caressed her hand over the head of the toy. Then I saw her reach up to her neck and pull out a locket.

"See?" She clicked it open and a picture of a small wolf appeared. His fur was black and white, he actually did look like a husky. But it was obvious he was a wolf as his tail drooped down to his ankles. Then on a second picture he had a great big smile on his face. His eyes seemed to be filled with excitement as in his arms he cradled a new born wolf, whose fur was pure silver.

I could only stare in amazement that such a secret could be kept. I mean, if did that wolf-husky hybrid died that night as well, then how did the news not know about it. "How did they...?"

"Mike works on the police force. He had them get rid of whatever evidence they had about our son. No one really talks about him that much, considering he was barely four and about to start grade school when that night came." She had to wipe her eyes before she continued talking.

"He seemed so excited about the next day as it would be his first day of school. He was practically bouncing out of his seat. I was talking to him and telling him how it wouldn't be as fun as people make it out to be. You know, just joking around with him. But the rain got heavy and the windshield wipers started to become useless. Then the headlights started to dim, that was when..." She held her tongue and went right back to crying. I didn't need her to tell me what happened next.

That was when she hit him. She hit the wolf and killed him on contact while I survived. But as I survived, her son died in the accident. Whether it being flung from the car or just being smothered by the air bag, details weren't needed. All I knew was that the hybrid was dead while I lived on.

* * * * * * * *

Epilogue

Not a word was spoken from my lips for the rest of the day. Only at night would I feel the content of being alive. When I was the lone wolf, I believed that I was worthless and that death would set me free. If only I knew about the lives that were lost around me while mine went on. The sacrifice that one made to protect me.

Now if only I could thank them, thank them for saving my life. But at the same time, sending me somewhere I had the chance to have a better life. Only for me to let them down as they watched over me in the heavens. Who ever the where, I couldn't thank them enough.

They allowed me to live and chose me over themselves. That one selfless act made all the difference in my life. Life never meant much to me over the time that I survived. The time that I barely clung onto the last thread of light I had. But as I lay here, in my bed. I can't help but think about what if I wasn't the one saved. Would I have made as much of an impact on other lives like I have? Or would I just be a piece of trash and be left on the streets of a city.

These thoughts... they never had much meaning to me at first. Even now I can't help but wonder myself. Why had I shut everyone out? Was it my stubbornness that strove me onward, that I didn't commit acts such as suicide sooner? Was it the sheer insignificance that I believed I owned that made me wish I never lived? Could it even be that it was something as simple as confusion? It doesn't matter, not anymore.

Because now I stayed in a home where people I know will care for me. They will watch me, protect me. They won't leave me behind like a blind pup. I will forever be in their heads, even when I fuck up. Or when I fall down to a level that I used to be. I will be a part of their family. They accepted me with open arms and, reluctant at first, I now reside in them. No longer would I have to spend nights crying alone...