Chapter Three (The Loss)
I awoke with A set of unknown hands shaking me.
"What the fuck do you want!"
I rolled over looking into a blurry face.
The face responded.
"I`m sorry for your loss."
I saw the red cross on his arm and burst into tears. The medic left my tent, leaving me there crying and mourning the loss of my baby, my fiance and the only person in the world I wanted to grow old with, the only person I would kill and die for. I lay in bed weeping for hours, got up and started smashing my things in a rage of sadness.
"Fucking hell! Fuck you God, fuck you and all your choices and fuck you and everyone else!"
I choked between words and spent the whole crying. I heard people approach my tent but leave when they heard my sobbing.
The funeral was the next day. I sat on the ground by the plot where the body would be buried. I sat weeping, clutching a rose, letting the thorns dig into my hand. The blood pouring over my fingers and the steam of the rose. I cried harder and harder as the body was put into the ground. I looked up to see my Commanding Officer drinking his bottle of Whiskey.
The bitch must be happy. He got something he wanted, to get fucking drunk and smile and laugh at other`s sadness.
All I got was a dead fiance and a fucking folded flag. Big fucking deal! What the fuck is a flag going to do? Nothing! Fucking nothing! I went back to my tent and broke down into more sobs and cries. I couldnt get over how fast it had happened. One minute he was proposing to me, the next he was being lowered into the fucking ground. I never bothered to open the little box that hed left me, I didn`t care anymore. I went out of my tent and hurled it into the river and cried harder as I re entered my tent. He was gone, nothing meant anything anymore. Life was shit, life was meaningless now. I just wanted to die.