ICG7: In Which There is Chocolate
Why won't this sunovabitch leave me alone!?
Using a quick attack I juke out of the way of a set of sharp talons that rake the space where I had been just moments before. The pidgeotto soars back above the tree line for a moment, and I make an abrupt turn to the left, hoping that it will lose my trail long enough for me to get a head start. I hear a rustling to my left and I leap straight up, grabbing a branch as a mightyena flies underneath me, its jaws smoking with dark energies.
This trainer is damn persistent, I mean really damn persistent. He spotted me earlier this week and has either been on my ass or on my trail for the past four days, and in the last two I haven't slept more than a few hours thanks to all my time going to trying to put as much distance between me and him.
I swing myself up onto the branch I am hanging from and then hurriedly leap from tree to tree like a squirrel. After unlocking the secret of using my pokémon abilities several weeks ago, I have really gotten the hang of this new body and combining its strength and abilities to my advantage when combined with my past experience it has enabled me to fight above my level, which is probably around thirty by now. I've also found that instinct and gut reactions are my friends these days, both of which have been sharpened by my new body being what it is. I've figured out how to single out certain emotions that radiate in my direction, like the aggression barreling towards me from above. I change course abruptly, throwing myself against a tree trunk and swinging along to the other side. Then I turn and throw a sky uppercut as the pidgeotto banks sharply around the corner. I grin as my fist connects solidly under the pidgeotto's beak and we both rise up out of the trees and into the air.
My grin then vanishes as I realize that up here, he has the upper hand. A fact that is soon enforced by sharp talons latching onto my arm as the pidgeotto twists into a dive with me on bottom. I grit my teeth and brace myself moments before I am slammed into a thick branch. With a crack it splinters and I tumble free of the pidgeotto's grip, its claws slicing thin lines of pain in my arm. I crash to the ground and roll over onto my feet.
As I rise I see a grey blur heading straight for me and fire off a force palm attack. The energies of our attacks blend and cancel out, my type advantage managing to cancel out the other's obvious level advantage. However, he still has teeth and those are now closed around my arm. With a snarl he begins to whip his head back and forth. I do my best to not be completely thrown about, but it isn't easy. Gritting my teeth against the pain I lash out with another force palm on the end of the mightyena's nose. He yelps out a profanity and I find my arm free again. I focus my emotional energies for a moment and unleash a reversal attack on the mightyena.
The fighting type energy singes the dark type's fur as it strikes his neck and chest and he yowls wordlessly. I grimace as I turn and run before he can recollect his focus, having a powerful reversal attack is a pyrrhic victory of sorts as it means my hp, my resistance to serious injury, is rapidly fading. As of yet I've only collected a few scratches from those last two blows, but if this two on one fight continues it won't be long before I'm in danger of more than just a pokeball.
Speaking of two on one, where did that damn bird get to anyway? I shut my eyes as I run, which under normal circumstances is not a recommended practice, especially in the woods, however right now, locating that pidgeotto takes precedence over not running into a tree. Two bright points of color immediately come to my attention, two points of aggression coming towards me from directly behind me and another from above and to my left. I immediately open my eyes and turn right, doing my best to keep trees between me and the pidgeotto.
My heart sinks as I see the trees thinning, and before long I am running in the open with a town in front of me. I try to return to the woods, but am forced to leap back as the pidgeotto dive bombs me. Now my way back to the woods is blocked by the mightyena too. Blood dribbles out of his possibly broken nose as he snarls, [Nowhere to left to hide, punk.] He snorts, spraying blood on the grass, [Just give up.]
[I'd rather he didn't.] the pidgeotto chirps with a breathy chuckle, [I like a good fight.]
[Shut up Anton, if he were an electric or rock type you'd be singing a different tune.]
[I would not!] Anton squawks angrily before fluttering closer to the mightyena, [You're just pissy that he bloodied your nose and now you can't sniff butts!]
[I am not!] the mightyena growls up at the smaller bird pokemon, [I do not sniff butts!]
[Oh that's right, you lick them.} Anton caws, [I guess there is no harm then since you can still rim your boyfriends to your homo heart's content.]
[I am not gay damnit!]
[Tell that to that male growlithe you were humping.]
I watch in confusion as the two pokémon that up till this point have been constantly on my ass begin to get up in each other's faces, about ready to start fighting each other. Slowly turning I begin to creep towards the town, with every intention of finding a gutter or trash can to hide in. However, I am interrupted by a human shouting, "Grayson! Pidgeotto! Cut the crap!"
I look back over my shoulder to see him stepping out of the forest, adjusting his black leather cowboy hat as he grins confidently at me. He pulls out a pokéball and casually spins it on one finger, "You've put up one hell of a fight, but this ends here. Pidgeotto, air cutter. Grayson, quick attack."
The pidgeotto takes off and flaps its wings hard, sending a flurry of glowing sickles flying my way. I do my best to dodge, but I can't avoid all of them and the super effective attack burns into my back before I am hit by the mightyena's quick attack. I curl up as I am sent skipping and bouncing over the ground.
Fuck, I think I'm almost out of hp, shit is about to really start hurting now. That and I might not be able to force my way out of the next pokéball that makes contact. Looks like no matter how I look at it, this is the end of the line. Shakily rising to my feet again and I turn to face them with a wry grin as I spit pink saliva onto the grass. Preparing to 'Endure', I laugh, [Bring it on, bitches.]
The trainer guy steps forwards with his pokéball, "Grayson, pidgeotto, stand down. This fight is over."
He hurls the ball and all I brace myself for the impending capture, but what I get instead is a loud clack. Opening my eyes I see a pair of pokeballs rolling on the grass in front of me.
"What the hell do you think you are doing!?" a woman's voice demands. Everyone turns to look at the woman coming towards us with an angry expression on her face.
The man with the hat frowns, "I could ask the same of you ma'am. I'm trying to catch a wild pokémon. What are you doing getting in the way?"
"He is not a wild pokémon! He's mine!"
Mr. Trainer laughs, "Ma'am, you have to be out of your head. I have been tracking this odd looking riolu for the past five days. He couldn't possibly be yours."
"Oh yeah?" She retorts, placing a hand on her hips, "He'll come if I call him."
I look back to the man and he snickers, "Okay. Go ahead and try."
The woman turns her attention to me and pats her leg, "Come here, Riolu."
I look her over. She looks like she is probably in her late teens, maybe old enough to drink, but she doesn't look much like a trainer, not in those black slacks and white button up shirt. I can't help but notice that she's also kinda curvy and, well, stacked. I glance back at the man who snorts and shakes his head, and then turn back to the woman. On the one hand I have slavery as a gladiator of sorts and the other I have slavery as a pet. Neither really appeals to me, but as a pet I would have two or three meals a day, a bed, and life would be pretty easy. Actually life as a pet is pretty appealing now that I think about it.
I start walking towards the woman when I notice I notice something in the woman's left hand and my eyes narrow. Is that... chocolate? No, it's dark chocolate!
I immediately sprint over to the lady and take the chocolate as she scoops me up in her arms. She presses me to her chest as I try to get the super dark chocolate, it says ninety percent cacao on the package, out. I can't help but grin, I've got a delicious bittersweet treat and boobs being smushed against the side of my head. I am in a happy place, man!
Finally the package yields its treasure to me and I take a big bite. Oh my god I love cacao. My friends make fun of me for it, calling me 'a woman for chocolate' but I don't care. It tastes good to me and encourages the release of endorphins, the happy chemicals in your brain, the same stuff that sex and certain drugs stimulate the release of.
"Bribery?! Damnit woman, that's cheating!" The man exclaims as his pokémon look on dumbstruck.
The woman just smiles as she picks up her pokéball and bumps me with it. I allow myself to be sucked inside and just wait for the ball to do its magic. I've got the chocolate, bitches. The woman laughs, "Is not. The League doesn't say how you have to catch a pokémon, only that you have to do it with League pokéballs."
I take another bite of chocolate while watching all this through the translucent shell of the pokéball. I'm not sure how the pokéball works exactly, but I don't really care at this point. I make a face at Anton, Grayson, and their trainer as the woman turns and walks away.
Once she gets back to the woods and out of sight of the man and his pokémon she releases me from the pokéball. She crouches down next to me and rubs my head as I take another bite of chocolate. "I'll take you to the pokémon center in a bit, but right now-"
"EEEEEE!"
Suddenly I am being whirled around and around by something that is letting out a high pitched squeal. The spinning stops and I squirm out of my captor's grip. Running straight for the woman that saved my butt earlier, I hide behind her leg and look at the one who had been spinning me. It's a girl. A little girl, probably about five or six, and she is absolutely filthy. Covered head to toe in dirt, her jeans are stained with dirt, grass, berries and burrs are sticking to the thick fabric. She gives me a gap toothed grin, "Hi puppy!"
The woman that rescued me puts her hands on her hips and sighs, "What have I told you about running off, Izzy? It is not safe to go into the woods by yourself."
The girl rolls her eyes, "There isn't anything around here but bugs."
"Yes, poisonous bugs. Like weedil and beedrill." I shudder, I do not like beedrill for very obvious reasons. Almost being killed by something tends to make you a bit wary of them. "And look at your clothes! What have you been doing? Rolling in the dirt?"
"Yes!" Izzy replies with a giggle.
I can't help but palm my face in disbelief, this little girl is crazy. Wait, if I'm palming my head with one paw, where is my chocolate? I look about frantically for my morsel, but I can't seem to find it.
"Oh wow! Chocolate!" I hear Izzy exclaim and I whirl on her. She has my chocolate!
[NO! DROP THAT CHOCOLATE!] I bark at her, running towards her as she goes to take a bite of the dirty chocolate. Instead of dropping the chocolate she plants a dirty foot on my face and pushes me onto my ass while she holds the chocolate out of reach.
"Bad puppy! Chocolate is not good for you!" she tells me authoritatively as I leap beck to my feet.
I jump for the chocolate, easily reaching the meager height that she can hold it above my head; however, to my surprise she whips the chocolate out of my reach again and catches me with one foot, holding me over her head with a grin like some sort of tiny kung-fu gymnast. I roll off her foot and drop to the ground as she twists to keep her body between me and the chocolate. "This is my chocolate."
[Like hell it is.] I growl and lunge for it again. This time she wraps her tiny leg around my neck and throws me to the ground. I lay there stunned as she sits down on my back. I'm getting played by a preschooler!
I look to the woman and whimper piteously as Izzy sits on my back and begins to eat the chocolate. She just laughs, "Well it is her chocolate. Izzy, get off of him. He's had a rough enough afternoon without you sitting on him."
Izzy stands up and starts walking back towards town. I climb back to my feet and walk over to the woman, holding my arms up in a silent request to be carried. She smiles and picks me up, holding me snugly to her chest. I may not have chocolate anymore, but I can still snuggle against a pair of boobs. Yeah, I'm a pervert, deal with it.