FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 3: Acceptance

Sam

Sam didn't sleep all night. He couldn't stop thinking about what he'll say to Jason once he sees him at school. He tried to call him so many times over the past two weeks without getting an answer so he figured out Jason was still pissed at him for all his lies. He didn't even know if the fox would talk to him at all.

He knew apologizing to him wouldn't be a good idea now because he'd have to tell the truth this time and he wasn't ready for it yet. He decided he would wait 'till Jason was calm enough to talk to him. The last thing he wanted is to get him even more mad by bringing it all up and lose any bit of chance left to be understood-

He heard some knock on his door, followed by a "wake up son, it's time to go. Don't be late." His father, of course, didn't miss the chance to try to catch him sleeping. 'How annoying is that', he thought.

Sam lazily rolled out of bed and looked for some clothes. He decided to change the underwear he slept in realizing it got a wet spot at the level of his groin. He let his boxer slides down his legs, revealing his sac hanging with a pretty sized bulge above. A pink flesh was peeking out from it and he quickly found the source if the mess in his fabrics.

'Guess I did sleep after all. I don't remember any of it; maybe it was some hot vixen that got me all worked up', he thought putting an uncertain grin of his face. He wished so much it could be true! In reality he knew that was hardly possible. Like it wasn't enough of feeling guilty for what he has done to Jason, he kept having all these nightmares for the past two weeks that concerned him. One about him changing school so Jason would start over since he felt like nothing held him there; one about him getting him back by outing Sam at school after he confessed everything to Jason; one about him found dead with a suicide note in his bed-

He stopped his thoughts from going further because he was torturing himself. He wiped himself up with tissues and put on a new pair and chose to wear a clean shirt for his first day of school. He then got himself a look in the mirror to see he was pretty white and looked tired. He went for the kitchen as his stomach was growling angrily at him.

"Good morning!" His father was waiting for him reading his journal with a coffee.

"Yeah yeah! Go ahead and laugh now that I'm going back to school..." He didn't wait for an answer as he dove his head in the refrigerator door. He took himself some jelly to go on his toasts.

"Well you look tired. Are you oka-", he said with worried eyes directed at him.

"Dad, it's 6 o'clock. Don't worry so much." His father had actually noticed a week ago that Sam was feeling depressed but Sam always pushed him off his back by saying that he was okay; only tired. He didn't feel like talking this morning as well and went for the toaster to put two slices of bread in. He didn't hide much from his parents (well his dad mostly) but how could he expect his father to understand any of it?

Silence got back in the kitchen. "Is it because of Jason?"

The toasts popped out of the toaster soon after he finishes his sentence.

"What are you talking about?" Sam picked them up and started to spray mountains of butter on it.

"Well, last time he called was two weeks ago and he sounded upset last time I talked to him. You didn't call him either so I figured-"

"Oh, sorry. I just remembered that I have to get to school early to register for a parking space since I'm gonna use the car from now on." He took his keys, got his backpack on one shoulder and headed for his car with his toasts.

"You're going to eat toasts with only butter on it?"

"Yeah, why not? I liked them that way. Have a nice day, dad!"

"Good day son." His father's face was full of interrogations.

He indeed had to go, but it was because his father was driving him crazy. 'He could be so intrusive sometimes!' Not only did he still live in the same room for eighteen years right next to his parents' but he couldn't even get some privacy of his phone conversations. He didn't give his cell phone number to Jason since he was trying to escape from him all summer so he was the only one to call his home number. He hated it because his father would answer most of the time and then ask him questions like "what did he want?"

'I don't mind talking to my parents but they could at least keep from asking all the time. I'm an adult now.' His father didn't know he had a cell phone and that was private enough for him for some time. He didn't exactly want to move out but he felt constantly watched whenever he was working on a school project in his room with a girl or when they 'only' wanted to remind him to get early to bed or to brush his teeth... 'Like I could not think about it on my own.' On top of that, whenever he was feeling a little down they wouldn't let him slide without questioning.

"Anyway, he better get tired of asking because I'm sure as hell I don't want to tell my parents I might be gay." He said it out loud while he knew the door of his car was closed shut. That relieved him a little to admit something was wrong out loud even though nobody was going to hear him.

He started his engine, took a bite of his soaked and greased toasts with a disgusted expression on his face and drove off. He quickly parked his car 'without a parking ticket' pretty near to the entrance since nobody would be at school this early on the first day. He knew lots of students just skipped the first day because it was boring even though it said it was required. You could get your agenda and schedule the following day at the entrance.

Since he had nothing to do, he spotted the Tim Horton besides the huge complex and headed in since he really needed a coffee. "A double please, Marty", he said to the waitress.

"Sure. You're off today and you decide to drive all the way here just to get a coffee?" Marty said and she turned his back to him to pour some coffee into a cup.

"Well from now on I'm starting college, so I guess you'll see me around more", he said scratching the back of his head.

"Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot. So what, did you quit your job?" She seemed anxious while asking.

"No, I talked to the boss and she'll keep me at part-time. I'll have two shifts either Friday night, Saturday or Sunday and another during the week once I got my schedule and figure out when I'm free."

"Nice! Tell me when we're working together again! This job is so boring when I serve alone; it was ghost town most afternoons this summer. I guess it will get more crowded now though."

"Yeah, but who cares, coffee is free for employees, so we've got plenty of energy to serve everyone. Sometimes I just think they offer the coffee there because the employees are more productive and they start to transform us into slaves for the company."

"Ha ha ha, you're funny!" She smiled brightly at him. Somehow it lightened his mood to hear her laugh.

Marty is a co-worker, sure, but she's also his friend. He found out by talking a bit to her while they worked together that they had a lot in common. She was the one person who made him feel comfortable, not always thinking twice about saying anything like with his school friends. He was able to talk about little and big things and she never judged him for anything. He was grateful for that and whenever they worked together time seemed to fly by.

She was a white bunny with long pink insides of ears and was about 5 foot 6. Pretty tall for a rabbit! She often wore pink ribbons around his neck to add some visibility to her because she could be hard to spot sometimes during winter.

"Here you go", she said settling his coffee of the counter as he handed her a five.

"Keep the rest; I have too much change from my last tip the other day."

"Okay then." She walked off, dancing a little while walking.

Sam sat on an empty table on the window side and started to gaze emptily outside. He noticed some more cars were now parked at school. 'Am I really...gay? I mean, except for Jason, I didn't look at any other guys... If I didn't meet Jason, I would have stayed straight, right? Why is he so...different from the others? He wasn't that much special: well he would be caring if he sensed I wasn't feeling well but I never talked to him anyway. Maybe I just can't. Maybe I just can't talk to him because he's not the one I'm in love with and that would mean I'd still have a chance with girls.'

Sam didn't have much experience with girls and so he couldn't really tell if he was or wasn't attracted to them at all. He already went out with one if he could call it 'going out with her'. It was a blind date with some girl that found him interesting but was too shy to tell him and his friend Ricky presented her to him one day. He didn't know why he'd accepted the invitation since it wasn't his type to fall in love with someone he never saw or talked to but he went along since he had hope and Ricky insisted she was very cute. Anyway, it didn't work out since both of them were too shy to even make a move at the theatre. They parted ways in the parking lot before their parents could get a hold of them and promised to see each other again but never did.

Sometime later, he caught some sighs of a girl that looked interested in him but he just ignored her since he wasn't himself and she just gave up on him after a while.

'Although I haven't looked at girls for a long time.' This thought, he didn't like it because it wasn't the first time he thought of it. They say the more something bothers you, the more you tend to accord meaning to it. He read a study like this in a psychology magazine from his dad one day and they said it wasn't abnormal for homosexuals to beat other gays before they realize that they were: said it was some unconscious desire to expel their frustrations on what they couldn't accept in their conscious mind. Some person could deny their thoughts for so long that they think they disappeared but in fact they just switched into their unconscious mind to protect them from a case of neurosis. These unwanted thoughts can affect some of your actions unconsciously and lead you to trouble of behaviour.

He took a swing of his coffee mechanically and burned himself on the liquid. "Ouch, damn it!" He usually didn't take coffee himself when he was working and now he just remembered why: coffee could take almost thirty minutes to cool off before they could actually be drinkable. 'Another tactic to keep clients around longer so they'd be tempted to order something else while their drinks cooled off', he thought with amusement.

He sighed as he looked at his watch. It was about time to head off to the welcoming and he stood up. "Twenty minutes has passed so the coffee would be decent when the meeting starts. I'll just bring it; those are always kind of boring anyway. If the caffeine can't wake me up, then I'm sure melting my tongue will."

With that said, he was at the auditorium. He didn't see Jason anywhere in the crowd but he spotted Ricky that just entered and went to sit beside him.

"Hey Sam. Ready to snooze?"

"Quite the opposite: didn't you see my paw?"

He looked at the still hot coffee I was holding. "Gimmy some of that", he said taking it from my grip and gulping down some.

"Whoo! That's better. A little hot though", he said sticking his tongue out so it would cool off faster.

"Yeah, I know..."

"So...how are you doing? Are you okay?" He said tilting his head.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Because you haven't called me the past two weeks and you haven't returned my calls", he said with a serious tone.

"Yeah, I kinda lost my cell. I left it at work under the counter and forgot it afterwards but Marty finally found it while cleaning a bit. The batteries were out", he lied.

"Ah, ok! Just be more careful, those cost money you know." Sam grinned at the look Ricky gave him.

"Please calm down students and let's meet the director to explain the policies of our institution..." He heard an echoed voice saying. The meeting was boring but they got through it. They decided to head out to the cafeteria to eat lunch. They spotted none of their friends so they took an empty table. Mark arrived some time later and Sam wasn't surprised that he didn't lose his shape; the one he had before summer break. Nope, he found nothing arousing about his shape, he noted.

They greeted each other, shook hands and Mark began to talk, but Sam had his mind elsewhere. He finally spotted Jason and realized with relief that he was indeed coming their way. Ricky suddenly got silent as Jason arrived.

The only sight of him made his breath stop and his heart sink simultaneously. He realized now how much he had missed him and he wished it could still be mutual. Sam could tell he took care of his fur this morning, brushing it well so he could only see spots of white under the surface of his orange fur that glowed in the light as he walked towards him. Although the expression on his face under the smirk on his muzzle didn't match the light of his body. He made slow steps and his head was way too stretched over to Mark as he was to the other side of the table.

'Is he avoiding my gaze?' he thought.

"Hey Mark. I haven't seen you this morning on the bus" was the first thing he said.

Sam got a better sniff at his scent. He definitely put on perfume this morning, he could tell. Mixed with his natural scent and the shampoo he used to wash up, it was just delightful. He has never really paid attention to it until now, but he noticed Jason smelled really good.

"And you, Sam?" Sam quickly took back the control of his thoughts as he realized Jason was talking to him. Not only talking, but Sam just wanted to believe he did care now. He put on his best smile and tried to look enthusiastic.

"Oh, I did lots of fun stuff; I went camping near a river fall and it was awesome, I did some swimming in the lake, I even went on a plane trip with my uncle who knows how to pilot and we took off flying and then we-"

"Hey Sam, calm down, it's still early for me, I'm not a robot."

'The look he gave me when he said it...he was definitely still mad at me. His tone didn't sound like a joke and he didn't have his usual smile.' Some parts of it did hurt him because he didn't think how much left out Jason felt all summer and other parts was relieved because he knew if he was still angry, he wouldn't try to know why he's been avoiding him and that meant he didn't have to explain himself right away.

They ate in silence mostly because Sam was too shy to say anything around Jason. Sam was always the one to start conversation on about anything he could think of and he liked arguing on pointless subjects, mostly because Jason would play along and they'd laugh at the absurdity of their arguments. It was often a contest between the two of them on who would have the weirdest explanation of whatever controversial subject they'd talk about.

He couldn't keep from looking at him when Jason wasn't looking back though. He could feel how alone he really was and he fought his urges to just hug him there and tell him he was sorry. Of course, that would be more than awkward at the cafeteria in front of all of his friends.

He wondered how soft his fur was to the touch of his paw if he could hug him. He would take him in his arm and brush his soft back; he could almost feel the warmth between them as he allowed his thoughts to go further this time. He would feel Jason tensed as he would let his paws to go lower and lower still until he heard a surprised moan coming from Jason when he'd grab his ass under his pants.

He woke up when he felt a stirring in his groin. No doubt about it: even if he wasn't gay, he knew Jason was somehow special to him and wouldn't try to deny it anymore. If he only knew how to talk to him, if he had the courage... 'It's not courage I need', he thought, 'it's a miracle. Firstly, Jason is straight: he didn't catch him looking at any guy at school while they still were in high school. Secondly, I can't even talk to him properly about most of my problems, and thirdly, he's mad at me.'

They all stood up to get their schedule grid for this semester and talked about it a little. It was then time to get home when Jason called up his attention.

"Just drive carefully Sam!"

He folded his ears more and looked down, ashamed. He quickly found his car into the parking lot, avoiding Ricky's "hey! Where are you going; wait for me! ", entered and just cried in his paws. He knew some of the students could see him in his car as the exited the school but he didn't care. He was too emotionally conflicted to drive home now. "What am I gonna do?"

This time he really didn't know: he could always try to make it up to him but he was scared of getting his hopes up too much and regretting it afterward. He could ask his parents for advice but he promised himself to be more independent, and for Ricky, that would be the only real friend at school he'd have left if Jason let him down. He didn't want to risk his friendship and tell him he loved Jason.

He decided after a few minutes to keep all this to himself until... He didn't know, until he'd be comfortable enough to. He started his engine and got home, almost missing two stop sign in the already early dark as his thoughts kept his attention mostly away from the road.

He smelled homemade pizza from the kitchen. The one his dad use to make and add all sorts of greasy ingredients, like bacon, Monterey jack cheese, pepperonis, smoked meat... His favourite. He seemed to eat a lot of these now. He suspected his father made it for him since he must have seen he wasn't feeling pretty high this morning.

"Hey dad. Pizza again, han?"

"Yes, but this time I added some sausages on top of it that was left from our last hog dog grills."

Sam salivated at the word 'sausages'. "Nice. What's the occasion?"

"Nothing."

He served him a quarter of it and Sam dug in almost instantly. His father took about as many and sat down beside him, where his mom used to sit. Sam frowned at his dad.

"Mom decided to skip dinner because she said it wasn't healthy again?"

"No, she's doing overtime this week so she'll arrive around 7 or 8'oclock. So... how was school?"

"It was okay;, I got a little more hours a week now that I'm starting college but the classes looks interesting. I actually took one in programming so I'll know all about how to make software", he said with a smile.

"That's cool! Just don't do illegal stuff on my computer so the police will show up one day." They both laughed at that remark, although Sam did it not to discourage his father.

"Did you meet up with Jason?"

'Figures. He has never been good to be subtle.' Sam pretended to be too hungry to answer right away. He ate it all in five minutes, and after feeling quite filled, decided to go wash up his plate.

"Oh yeah, Jason. He seemed to be in a good mood." He lied, of course, but now he was too used to it to sound obvious about it in his tone. "We have three classes together so we'll see each other often."

His father didn't push further, and Sam went up to his room. He wished he had homework so he could occupy himself. Instead of staying locked inside, he decided to put on his earplugs and started his iPod to play some loud metal music. He then went downstairs, put his shoes on while shouting to his dad he'd go for a run.

He ran out the door and into the streets that seemed so familiar to him. He passed some furs walking by and occasional cars, but for most of his run he only saw trees and houses. He didn't know for how long he had run out the streets but he had to stop at some point to redirect himself back home. He noticed he was pretty far from it but he didn't care at the present moment. He could run for miles and miles because he wanted to drain his body as much as his mind. The music flowed into his veins and encouraged him to push his body further still. He could see his breath escaping from his muzzle now as it was kind of cool outside but he didn't feel cold at all. All he could hear was his heart pounding, wanting somehow to get out of his chest, and the rush of adrenaline caused by the rhythm of the song.

He finally spotted his car parked on the street and stopped when he saw his mother parking besides it and exiting her car. "What are you doing running on streets like that at this hour?" She said with a confused look.

"Well, I went running like usual. Since today was school I couldn't go at lunch like I used to do this summer."

"Fine but it's not because you're starting college that you have to sleep past 10 o'clock."

"10...o'clock!" Sam said with surprise. "Weren't you...supposed to arrive...like at...8?"

"Yes but my work was delayed by other coworkers. I called your father at 8 and he told me you still weren't back. He looked worried. What were you really doing?"

"I told you...I went running; I just...didn't notice...the time", he said as he had trouble breathing because he was still panting from his run.

With that he breathed some more and entered. He saw his father bounced out of his chair.

"You found him?" He said to mom.

"She didn't found me dad I just got back from my run."

"Now this is just crazy you were gone for almost four hours!"

"I'm sorry; I just didn't realize what time it was."

His dad still looked worried but he didn't care. He left him staring at him from the living room as he walked passed him and decided to head for the shower. He could use one after all his running. He suddenly felt extremely tired, but he was covered in sweat so he decided to sleep without being all sticky. He had to begin at 10 tomorrow anyway. He stripped down of his sticky and wet clothes. He realized even his boxers were wet. He tugged them down as well and he turned on the shower.

The warm water felt good on his fur. He soaked his head right away to bury it under the jet of hot steamy water. His ears got some in and for a moment he could swear, eyes closed, that he was twenty feet down the bottom of a lake, swimming freely through the peaceful surroundings. The lake would be his home, and the water, his protector, and nothing could possibly go wrong as long as he stayed put: away from the world that would not accept him.

'Of course', he thought, 'even if that place existed, I would surely get lonely from time to time. Jason...'

He decided to wash himself up quickly as 10 minutes had already passed. He scrubbed all his body parts, smelling the artificial scent of his shampoo and remembered at this moment the smell of Jason at dinner. How could he only have paid attention to it now? He didn't know, but now he was glad he at least had someone to love. He had never felt anything like it, really. The impact only a smell could make on him amazed him and he wanted to find out more.

He exited the shower after towelling and put a clean pair of underwear on. He didn't like pyjamas so he always slept half naked. The bed sheets were enough to keep him warm despite the fact that he had short fur. He then hopped into bed after closing the light and drifted to sleep easily.

[...]

The next morning, he got to school in time. He had gym at 10, his first class of the morning, so he headed for the locker room. He nearly jumped when he saw the back of Jason in front of a locker. He took a long breath and went to talk to him.

"Hey Jason, I thought we weren't in the same class in gym!"

Jason turned around to face him and tilted his head down a little to make eye-contact with his friend.

"Yeah, I know", he said, "but I got it rescheduled because I found a job and it didn't work out with working hours. I had to have at least one afternoon off, so I just went to the principal and he agreed to move it today instead of Friday."

"That's cool", Sam said as he looked down, noticing Jason has just dropped his pants on the ground.

His heart began to race as he knew he shouldn't look but did anyway. Jason removed his shirt right after and looked at him.

"What are you waiting for? The class starts in five minutes..."

Sam turned his head around to find that no one else besides them was in the locker room. His heart jumped when he looked back at his friend and found him kicking his boxers free, revealing his naked orange furred butt. He gasped at the sight and could help but stare at his private regions as his back was turned to him.

Jason only sneaked a glance back at him and started grinning.

"What's the matter? Like what you see? ", he said with a playful voice.

Sam didn't know what so say. He was caught and he felt ashamed. Even more, scared.

"I...ah...no, what...makes you thing that?"

"Well first, you didn't stop looking at me from the moment I began to strip. Second, you've got a pink stick peeking out of your sheath." He said it while looking down at him and licked his lips.

Sam looked down panicked and realized he was naked as well. Jason made two steps toward him, muzzles almost touching each other.

"Oh come on, just admit it. Don't you wanna touch it?" He lifted his hips to allow him to get a better glance. "You just gotta ask."

Sam was really nervous at the moment. Jason was grinning at him; the kind of grin like 'I dare you to do it.' Because of the sudden closeness and of what he'd said, he could no longer control his body. He succumbed to his urges and put both paws on his beautiful sheath and balls and began to rub it instinctively. Jason looked quite pleased by that as Sam heard a low moan escape from his muzzle.

Jason decided to return the favour by slowly bringing his paws from down his legs to his crotch. He could feel the wave of pleasure ascending in his body as his paws got closer and closer to his own growing erection. He was still not touching it, but he swore his paws were brushing it already...or something else.

All became dark around him, but he still felt something brushing against his crotch. Something was indeed making contact with his pink flesh, but it was the result of his growing erection against the bed sheets, his arousal still well concealed under his boxers. He sat up quickly in panic when he recalled what he'd dreamed, but then he calmed himself down. He got so used to waking up like this after a wet dream because he didn't accept he had a crush on Jason that he couldn't help himself this time.

He dropped his head down to his pillow a glanced at the clock. 2:10. 'To early to wake up, of course, but I don't feel tired.' All the rush in his body from dream kept him from dozing off again. He looked at his now wet boxers at the tip and sighed. "Nah, what the hell", he said to himself grinning. He removed them completely and brought one paw over his tip.

"Ahh, that's good." He then spread the pre that had formed there all over his cock and began brushing lightly over the sensitive parts. A high-pitched noise escaped from his mouth when he brought his other paw over his sac. "...It's been a while..."

He had never allowed himself to paw off after one of those dreams before because he thought that if he could contain himself, these unusual urges would simply disappear. He was proven to be wrong so many times as he recalled those nights he had stayed awake, crying to what he'd dreamed about and tried with little success to forget everything.

Now, though, he didn't want to forget: he wanted to remember all the details of it, every image and every touch making his arousal grow. He worked himself up faster now and kept his other paw on his balls. Involuntarily, his paw started descending to the underside of his sac and continued still.

He suddenly got an idea. He always found the idea gross but he never worked himself the courage to actually try it. 'So many people can't be wrong, can they?' He hovered the same paw over his arousal and moistened one of his fingers of pre. He went back under his balls and started spread the warm liquid over the ring of his ass. It felt good and he could feel apprehension for it. His finger hesitated to push inside, but now he was getting closer to the edge from still pawing off so he would make the best of the experience now while he still could.

He moaned when his digit finally got through his ring and entered deep inside: it was a strange feeling, like being filled with pleasure when brushed, put different from pawing off. 'Still good though.' He paused his other hand, taking his time to get used to the new sensation. He slid out his finger and got it in again and this time, the pleasure was more intense. He could feel his cock twitching each time he entered his digit.

He worked himself faster and he regained control of his arousal with his other paw. He closed his eyes from the surge of pleasure both of his jerking combined together procured. He saw Jason in his head at the end of the bed, stretching up his ass with his finger. The pleasure rose when he saw that cute shy smile on his face as he was pushing in his insides in the intimacy of his room. He imagined him naked and hard and pushed another digit in when Jason began to trust inside him.

He moaned loudly to the extra finger. His cock wouldn't stop twitching so he knew he was close now. He could almost hear Jason make a cute sound of satisfaction as he entered him deeply. He trusted his hand faster inside now and added a third digit. He could feel pressure building in his crotch from the knocks of his paw inside him, each of them pushing him closer still.

He couldn't hold it any longer. Sam cried out Jason's name and soon felt sticky fluids jumping out of his cock in the air before landing on his chest. On the second burst, some even got to his chin from all the pressure of his throbbing cock. He moaned again, but tried to be discreet this time because he didn't want to wake his parents. The pleasure seemed to go on and on and he kept spilling seeds all over himself. His climax lasted a little less than 10 seconds, but it seemed like an hour because he felt intense pleasure covered his whole body.

He panted hard when it was finally over and he could feel his wrist was a little sore from trusting his fingers in. It was definitely the most intense cumming of his life: he never remembered pawing off could feel so good. At this moment, he felt like an idiot for being so closed minded and ashamed of himself all this time.

He was amazed by how fast he had cum this time. Anal stimulation really did it to him. He could still feel the afterglow of the release his body had begged for so long.

He noticed a strong scent of musk all over himself, so he inspected his body, only to find himself quite messy. His hands and chest were sticky and wet, so he slowly stood up after regaining some composure and padded up to the bathroom. He washed his paws in the sink and got the cum off his belly with a wet cloth.

The endorphin still in his body, he didn't feel really sleepy, but he regained his bed anyway. Before dozing off, he couldn't stop thinking about that dream. 'I hope I'm not really in gym with Jason because I don't know how I could possibly conceal my attraction to him' was his last thought.