Tony's Room - Monster
"_Tony thought about the relationship he had with Trevor all those years after. He had crossed a line that shouldn't have been crossed. Greg stopped him before they went too far and stuck to cuddling. They never went beyond that, ever. But he felt loved by him. Maybe Greg had wanted Tony as bad as Tony had wanted him.
'What the hell is wrong with me...' Tony thought with despair.
Tony's door opened up slowly..."_
The door opened and Darren, Tony's stepfather, poked his head in.
"Hey Tony?"
"Yeah?" Tony said plainly, still lying back on his bed. He quickly rubbed the tears from his eyes, trying to make it look like he hadn't been crying.
"I think you and me need to have a talk," Darren said, entering the room. Tony sat up, feeling a nervous lump in his chest. Darren took a seat in Tony's computer chair and sat across from him. He sat forward, rubbing his paws together softly.
"We know you already talked to the doctors and to your mother about what happened...about why you did what you did," Darren said calmly, "But I just wanted to know if there was anything else going on..."
Tony felt his stomach cramp a little with guilt and fear. He shook his head, trying to play it cool.
"Are you sure?" Darren asked.
Tony made eye contact with Darren and froze up. He had never felt close to Darren, or felt a familial bond with him. Darren was just "the stepfather" who came in and helped his mother when she was struggling to raise two cubs by herself. He had never felt a connection with his biological father either and was struggling to make one with Darren. The only difference was Tony wasn't afraid of Darren. His father was angry a lot of the time and Darren was calmer and level headed. But in that moment, Tony was more afraid of Darren than anything.
Tony swallowed, feeling his composure slipping as he tried to maintain his innocence. He shook his head again.
Darren leaned forward, "If there's anything wrong, you know you can always talk to me, Tony."
Tony's paws started to shake from nervousness. Still, he kept silent.
"Listen..." Darren said with the same calm voice and leaning back in the chair, "I know you went through a lot...with your real dad. I don't want you to think that you can't talk to me about anything. I know we aren't related by blood, but I do care for you. I care for your mother and Trevor too."
Tony looked up and Darren smiled softly, "Your mother and I just want what's best for you."
Tony looked back down at his lap, still nervous. He felt like Darren was being sincere about opening up, but he wasn't sure about how he would react to hearing about how Tony had molested his younger brother.
Darren narrowed his eyes, "Did you do something wrong?" he asked.
Tony nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Half jokingly, half serious, Darren asked, "Did you murder somebody?"
Tony shook his head.
"Tony...did you do something...illegal?"
Tony closed his eyes tight. Tears squeezed out and rolled down his cheeks.
Darren suddenly became very concerned. He got up and sat on the bed next to Tony and put his paw on his shoulder, "Tony, what did you do?"
Tony shook his head blinking away tears, stuttering "I...ca...I can't..."
"Tony look at me."
Tony forced himself to look up at the silver fox amidst his own inner turmoil. Darren looked him dead in the eye and asked, "What happened?"
Tony saw the stern look in Darren's eyes. It wasn't of anger, but concern. Tony swallowed and took a deep breath.
"I...me and Trevor...we..."
Darren's look of concern changed into realization. He asked softly, "Have you and Trevor been..."
Tony nodded, feeling on the verge of another breakdown. For him, this was like judgment day.
Tony put his head down and sobbed silently. Darren rubbed his shoulder and asked, "How long has this been going on?"
Tony sniffled and nodded, feeling a mixture of guilt, sorrow, and dread, "Years..." He put his head back between his arms and legs, crying softly.
"Tony, please stop crying. It's going to be okay."
"No it's not," Tony croaked between sobs, "I'm a fucking monster..."
"Did you ever hurt Trevor?"
Tony sniffled and wiped his nose on his black-gloved wrist, leaving a smear of snot in his fur. "I don't know...maybe."
"Did you ever force him to do anything he didn't want to do?"
"No..."
Darren sat up and turned to face the young fox, "Tony..."
Tony looked up, his eyes puffy and red from crying. He sniffled again.
"Do you love Trevor?"
Tony nodded softly, "Yeah..." And added, "As a brother..."
"Of course. I know you would never hurt him. I've been living here for three years and I've never once seen you hurt or abuse Trevor. He loves you too, Tony. You are not a monster."
Tony put his head back in his arms.
"Look, I know...you're both young and exploring natural feelings. It's normal for cubs to do that kind of thing. But you are 18 now. It's time you let him start making his own friends to play with...and you need to find someone your own age too."
Tony looked up, sniffling.
"I'm not going to turn you in to the police, Tony," he said with a smile, "You're not a monster. You just need to grow up."
Tony nodded softly. Darren patted his shoulder softly, "Is there anything else?"
Tony swallowed, feeling like a weight had been lifted and at the same time cautious about his trust in Darren. "I have no job...no friends...I'm failing school..."
Darren smiled and nodded understandingly, "Your mother and I can help you with those things, Tony. You don't ever need to feel like you're alone. We both love you and want you to succeed but you need to make an effort. You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Unlike most kids your age, you've got family to fall back on. Most parents would have kicked you out once you graduated high school. You aren't ready yet, but that's ok. You've got me and your mother to help you with those things."
Tony smiled softly, the storm clouds starting to clear inside him.
"I'll help you go out and apply for jobs tomorrow. We'll help you get back into school again. But it's going to be okay, Tony. It is not the end of the world."
Tony nodded, feeling much better. "Thanks Darren..." he said. He wiped his nose on his wrist again.
Darren smiled and nodded, "Anytime...just remember: You have to want to succeed."
Tony smiled softly and nodded. Darren sat up and headed for the door. He turned to Tony as he opened it, "One more thing... I think you need to talk to your brother. I think you hurt him a lot more by trying to kill yourself than anything."
He closed the door behind him, leaving Tony to his thoughts.
~~~
Mary sat in bed, reading a novel to herself. Darren came in and closed the door behind him. He began undressing from his work clothes.
"Well...I just talked to Tony," he said as he undid his tie.
"Oh?" Mary said, not looking up from her book.
"You were right."
"Told you so," Mary said matter-of-factly.
Darren sighed and slipped under the covers next to her. "I don't know...if we knew all along, shouldn't we have said something? We could have prevented Tony from nearly killing himself."
Mary set her book on the bedside table, sighing too, "I don't know how we could have approached it rationally or sensitively. I mean, what if he wasn't? That would be awkward for everyone and he would think that we don't trust him. Could you put yourself in his shoes and be blamed for molesting your younger brother?"
"Well technically..."
"Yes, I know but say that he didn't. If your parents blamed you for doing something you didn't do, how would you feel?"
"That's beside the point Mary. The fact is that he did and we didn't do or say anything to prevent all of this from happening."
Mary took a deep breath and sighed, "How do you think he would have reacted anyway? If we had just come forward and just sad something."
"Well I hardly think he would have done anything drastic. He just cried when I talked to him about it. He was scared and probably feeling pretty guilty."
"What did you say to him?"
"I told him that it was alright and he wasn't in any trouble. I told him he needs to go out and find someone his own age and let Trevor play with other cubs his age."
Mary nodded and said, "Sounds about right...anything else?"
"I told him that we'd help him get his life back on track. I think what he needs now is some parental guidance. We've been working too much and not giving him enough attention."
"Well, he is 18."
"Yes but he's still young. I remember when I was his age, I was on my own. I was terrified and I had no idea what I was doing."
"And you turned out just fine, hun."
"Well...I didn't try to kill myself though."
Mary gave him a glare and Darren threw up his paws in defense, "I'm just saying..."
Mary sighed and set her book down, reaching over and turning off the lamp. Darren turned out his light and laid next to her. Mary sighed, "I'm a horrible mother..."
Darren rubbed her arm and kissed her forehead, "No you're not Mary...you've raised two wonderful pups and worked hard to make sure they grew up sheltered and fed..."
Mary teared up slightly. Darren held her closer and whispered, "You are a great mother, Mary. You care so much about your family, that you'll do anything for them..."
Mary closed her eyes and whispered, "I just feel like I messed them up..."
Darren shook his head. "No darling, you didn't... They're both very smart, well-mannered," He smiled, "They've got your sense of humor."
Mary smiled softly, still holding back tears. Darren kissed her lips softly, "You should be thankful to have them, Mary." They laid in the dark, Darren holding his wife in his arms.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too, Darren."
~~~
Tony sat on his bed, going over the events of what just happened in his mind. He still felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he tried to calm back down. He took a deep breath and got up, walked to the window and shut the blinds. The sun had already set and the only light illuminating his room came from his idle desktop screensaver.
Tony stripped down to his boxers and sat at his computer, shaking the mouse to wake it back up.
Tony thought for a moment as he clicked and waited for the internet browser to load. An idea popped into his mind as his homepage came up. He quickly logged into FaceSpace, a social networking site, and clicked in the "Search for Friends" box.
He paused before typing "Greg..."
As always, comments and criticisms are welcomed :3