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Steven was a rambunctious ten year old loaded with curiosity. The young cheetah would dart all over the heavily treed Castle Bay trailer park. At first the misnomer of the trailer park had been disappointing to Steven but, as he'd run all over the park and into the deep woods he'd found plenty of adventures, some of which involved the people who lived in the surrounding area.

There was "Big" Bob Juarez who had more toes than teeth, Neil McDermott and his wife Ella who were expecting twins and were professional cage fighters and of course there were the other kids who ran around screaming their heads off whose names he couldn't keep up with. Yet, there was one, a honey badger, who he had only seen on his lawn occasionally watering it and murmuring about the dirt before going back inside. Today, Steven thought would be the day he'd know who he was and more than just a name on a mail box.

It was a hot June day as Steven darted out of his trailer in his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt and jean shorts. He broke a sweat easily as he darted past various neighbors, occasionally waving to them. He panted a little, the humidity was good at taking the breath out of someone and by the time he reached the badger's mailbox he was dripping with sweat.

"Yasir Al-Abdelnabbi," said the cheetah looking at the name on the mailbox as he wiped his face.

"Yes, little man? What do you want," said a heavily accented voice from behind that startled the little cheetah. "Holy Toledo! You nearly scared the spots off of me!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean too," said the tan clad honey badger who seemed to be standing a bit wobbly. "You're that little kid who's always running around like you are on fire. What is your name?"

"Steven," said the cheetah feeling shy. "My name is Steven Antwiler."

"Well Steven Antwiler you have guts to just come up to my lawn like this. It is a nice lawn isn't it?"

"Yes sir it is."

The honey badger seemed to mutter to himself and nodded, "Yes it is a good lawn. Especially considering the circumstances and the type of dirt they have around here."

Steven didn't know what that meant as he looked up at the heavy middle aged male. He wasn't sure what to make of him and as he wondered what he'd ask him next the older male spoke first, "Where are you from originally? You do not sound like you are from Alabama."

"Beaumont. That's in Texas."

"Ah," exclaimed Yasir smiling broadly, "Beaumont home of the Big Bopper. They almost named a sandwich after him. He had a hit song. What was it?"

"I dunno," said Steven.

"It's okay. It's an old song. You wouldn't know."

"Where are you from Mr. Yasir? You don't sound like you're from Alabama either," said the now inquisitive ten year old.

"You are a smart kid. I like that. You're not like the rest of the people in this trailer park. They are morons and they cannot see the big picture. Not like you," said the honey badger rather suddenly. "Come. We'll have a drink. I will tell you where I am from."

As Yasir walked uneasily toward his trailer Steven stayed planted by the mailbox, "My parents said not to go into anyone's house."

"Okay that's fine," said the badger, "I'll be back in two seconds. Just wait there."

"Okay."

The two seconds quickly became several minutes, but Steven stayed planted. His parents had told him not to go back on his word, not ever. So he stayed where he'd said he'd be. Yet, as he stood there Steven began to question whether or not it was a good idea to be standing there at all. After all, while he had been curious about this male there was something about him now that scared him. Something he couldn't place.

"Okay," shouted Yasir kicking the door open and striding forward uneasily with a bottle of vodka in his hand and what appeared to be some sort of white powdery substance under his nose. "In my country of Iraq you could not get this booze there. It was illegal but now that I am in America I drink as much of this stuff as I fucking want."

Steven could smell the alcohol well before the badger got to him. "This bottle was full when I got in there but, Iraqis can drink anybody under the table anytime. Believe me," slurred the badger.

"Yes," said the cheetah backing up a little.

"Now how I came to this country is interesting. Nobody else came here like I did. Not your mother or father or even that turtle on your shirt. Nobody."

"Um...."

Yasir hushed Steven and cleared his throat spitting onto the street in front of him. "Now, where was I... ah yes. I came here many years ago. Back even before that Faulkner kid did what he did . He was a wild one! Just like his old man who I drank under the table, rat bastard. One day Billy Faulkner went to the carnival and decided to stand up on the roller coaster, do you remember that?"

"No."

"He got his head cut off by the sign at the top of the hill. Being a daredevil is a crazy thing. They found his head on the other side of the park staring at a goat that had died from the shock of seeing a severed head. It was before that now."

"I- I see."

"You know Steven. I said I like you and I do that's why I'm telling you how I got to America. Anyway, it was before that happened and before I had to fight those ground bees out of the fucking tree two years ago," he growled, "I got stung five hundred times and couldn't lift my prick for a year my hands were so swollen. I had to piss like a woman. But, how I came to America...."

"Um," said the ten year old backing away a little more.

"I like you Steven," said Yasir finishing off the large bottle of vodka before producing another one, "You're one of the few who understands that you have to ask questions. You've asked a ton of them. Like about my lawn, you asked, 'Yasir my good man why is your lawn green' And now I will tell you. Aren't you excited?"

Steven blinked unsure what to say as this man stared at him for what felt like a long time before finally saying, "Sure."

"No fag has touched the soil."

"What," said the confused cheetah.

"Look at how it is ... the further west you go the drier it gets and you cannot grow anything there. It's the fags ruining the soil. You cannot grow anything near a big city like Topeka because of all the queers and fags running around there and ruining the soil. The further west you go like Phoenix or Sabine Pass it gets worse. Nothing will grow there. Fuck, I've seen them in Topeka with their signs. You know those folks who protest the funerals? From straight ahead it looks like they are not for the fags but if you look at them from above you can see that they are signaling aliens to put the gays here."

"I- um," murmured the cheetah.

"That's how I came here. Aliens. But they did not use those signs. It was different altogether."

Steven didn't know where to look or what to say. He was afraid to stay but afraid to go so he stood in front of the hunched over honey badger whose alcohol soaked breath made his eyes water.

"1985," he began, "I was stationed on the Iranian border near Kalar. We had been under heavy rocket fire that day and as night came you could see the flashes of where each rocket hit. There was much blood. Much death," he said almost whispering.

"My Sargent tells me to go to the observation post and keep an eye out for enemy troops. So I go. There are no lights. The power had been knocked out long ago. The only light was from the fires of burning vehicles and buildings. By the time I get to the post Qanit is asleep. So I wake him and send him back and I watch and wait. I don't really care who comes my way," he said with a small shrug, "They come my way I kill them. They think about coming my way I kill them."

Steven nodded quickly as his mind raced. Every muscle in his body was at odds with one another as he stood firmly before the Iraqi. More than anything he wanted to excuse himself but all he could manage to do was nod and say, "I gotcha," in the hopes that when the story was over he would be able to run off and not have the inebriated badger chase after him.

"Three hours I waited and nothing happened. Then I hear what sounds like a rocket head toward me. So, I ducked down out of habit when all of a sudden this bright light surrounded me and I can feel myself being pulled into the air. By Allah I thought I was dead and going to get my virgins! Instead, I blacked out and woke up on a cold metal floor."

"Was- was it the spaceship?"

"Damn right it was the spaceship!"

"What did they look like? The aliens I mean."

"Big ugly looking motherfuckers! They had heads like sharks with rows of sharp teeth. They were covered in black and white fur and had long sort of snake like next and the feet of wolves. They also had these weird mincing mouse arms. They were demons," exclaimed Yasir spitting on the ground.

"But at first they were alright."

"Huh?"

"Well, at first they started talking. They were reassuring saying stuff like, 'We're not going to hurt you. We just thought that you were a great warrior' and 'Would you like something to drink' They were very nice at first. Especially their leader Talun who informed me they were a sergal warship."

"Um, what happened," asked Steven a little less afraid and a little more interested.

"Well, Talun and I separated out from the others, told stories and drank. It was good shit," he paused, "The CIA gave me a lot of cocaine you know."

"What?"

"Motivation they said, help keep things in line and working jacked up. Create in routes into the middle east they said. Anyway, I had tucked away four eight balls of that shit. So I figured I'd get some out and share a little, you know to be a good guest," said Yasir his face beginning to twist in to a ball of rage as he continued, "That motherfucker took all but four lines of my coke. He did it all. That's fucking wrong! If he wanted a third of it that would have been okay but not that much!"

Steven backed up a bit as Yasir shouted the last bit scaring some near by birds. All the youth could get out was a startled yelp before the large badger continued. "Oh I was pissed. Then he says to me, he says, 'We're going to have to take you to see the doctor.' I say, 'What for.' Then he talks about the probe. Motherfucker."

Steven began to cower as the badger's face got darker. His eyes narrowed as he set his jaw and growled, "I went over to one of the panels and hit a button that looked like a door button, and this clear door fell down separating us from the rest of the crew. I walked over to that son of a bitch and said, "You motherfucker! I was nice to you. I told you stories. We had laughs. You took almost all of my cocaine! I punched that fucker in the throat so hard he buckled to the floor. I don't give a shit if he was as tall as one and a half of me. I got behind him I put my hands around his head and my knee into his back and pulled until I hear a pop. He screamed. I broke that bitch's back. Then...."

"Then," asked Steven in a small voice.

"I tore off his uniform and fucked him in the ass the old country way!"

Steven didn't know what to say and stared wide eyed as Yasir continued, "He moaned like a whore . I reared back and slammed into him," growled Yasir who began pounding his fist into his hand, "Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! And he moaned and growled and clenched about me, miserable space fagot! I grabbed that fagot Talun and raked his sides! He bled like a pig dog and wanted more so I just kept hitting him and fucking him until I got close. Then I pulled out and shot my fucking load all over his back and head. You know if you cum in a guy that makes you gay. I'm not gay it's against my religion. So I came on him."

"W-what?"

"Anyway they hauled him off to the doctor and patched him up and none of the other sergals wanted to test me anymore. Talun said, 'Take him back to his home planet, leave him some place safe.'

So they made some sort of space phone call and got hold of someone who said he'd meet us in Topeka."

Yasir's expression relaxed as he sighed a bit, "Talun was in a brace and he apologized for what he was trying to do. He said he was wrong and I was okay with that. He had been humbled and when we landed he talked to this white cat in a black suit who sounded like the lead cop in The Fugitive and then told me 'They said you can stay here in this country. You'll be a citizen soon enough.' I said okay and then he asked if I didn't mind if he came by to hang out sometime and I said sure as long as he doesn't stick anything up my ass and maybe bring women with him sometime too. I think he blushed, I don't know why. Sergals are weird. Anyway, that's how I came to America and it was an okay trip for the most part. I am glad to be here."

Steven didn't say anything but stared off completely thunderstruck. Yasir cocked his head and started to stagger back to his trailer shouting back, "You're a good kid, but you run home now. You've learned much today and you need to think it over okay?"

Yasir was right. Steven did learn a lot that afternoon. He learned that there are a lot of weird and possibly crazy folks out there and that sometimes some questions are best left unasked.