FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

In the month that followed I still struggled with sleep. Even worse than the sleep issue I now found myself fighting off the advances of an overly emotional housecat. After she had failed to report to work, the firm had no choice but to let the star member of their marketing department go. I was surprised to arrive at my office the morning of the announcement to discover Cindy, eyes filled with tears, waiting for me to show. She feared that without a Marketing Director, there would be no job for her. I was able to get passed the overpowering wonder of why she would come to me with the issue long enough to convince her she would be fine. "Thank you Toby. I knew you'd be one I could count on" I highly doubt she'd have felt that way if she had the knowledge I was responsible for the cause of her upset nature in the first place. She hugged me, and returned to her floor. I was happy to have gotten her out of the office quickly, but sadly had not done so fast enough. Harry arrived just in time to see her final departing act. I did not hear the end of his ridiculous theories until I went home at the end of the day. The sudden disappearance of the "company man" type lynx eventually raised an eyebrow or two. We all got to experience the paranoid inducing interruption that is cop after cop invading the office to question everyone who could have possibly had contact with her during her time with the company. Being a senior staff member with the years of experience under her belt she had, the list was pretty much endless. We were all told to cooperate with the officers and the interruption to our days would be quick. According to management, we had nothing to fear if we were honest and thorough. I was called in during the third day of questioning. I was hoping they wouldn't have bothered with those of us at my level, but in the name of a thorough investigation even the peons are put under scrutiny. On day one Cindy had come to my office, crying again. I had failed to deter her of this habit and accepted it as my own punishment for what I had done. I sat her down in Harry's chair as he was out to his daily trip to the Gecko's office and would be gone for at least another hour. The poor feline seemed to be suspect number one in the investigation as it stood at the moment. She spent the most time with the missing lynx, there were no known romantic interests, no enemies, she had no will made so no benefactors to reap the rewards. No one had any reason to harm the woman. Before chasing the probability of an unknown party being responsible for the sudden disappearance, the department needed to rule out anyone in her life who had a motive to make her disappear. Unfortunately for Cindy, the secretary working long hours under a scrutinizing long termer was exactly the type of person they should be investigating. Through a long series of overreaching and unfounded theories, the target of blame was haphazardly affixed to Cindy's back. For a number of hours she sat in a room while a pair of cops asked her a series of questions about her relationship with the missing. She hadn't realized until well into the interrogation that she was even under suspicion. They began to ask about her happiness with her job, if she had been searching for work elsewhere, and if she felt it was even possible to leave her position at any time without any problems. Cindy told me that at this point she broke down. As she realized what they were implying she could no longer function. I guess the truly innocent are unable to handle the concept of someone assuming their guilt. I took it as a good sign my mind had drifted to my conversation with Cindy two days earlier while I awaited the detectives. I would use what little I could discern from her sobbed telling of the interaction to prepare myself for my own. If I could put the truth somewhere other than the front of my mind I could focus on getting through the officer's questions without casting suspicion onto myself. Filling my mind's eye with the waterlogged face of the lithe female, hearing her words, imagining the scene she set through her story telling, all of this would allow me the disconnect I needed to make it through. A vacant office had been commandeered and transitioned into a field interrogation room. In the center of the room a conference table had been unfolded. Three chaired decorated the long slab of wood, two on one side, one on the other. I didn't wait for direction, I sat down in the one chair as soon as I had been called in. A large rottweiler stood in one corner, arms crossed over a large muscular chest. He did nothing the entire time but glare at me. I felt sort of sorry for the poor boy. I wondered what caused him to accept his role to act as a stereotype for the local police department. He probably had his reasons for it, in fact I am pretty sure he did, but rarely do others care for your reasons when judging you. His partner paced through the room. She is a slightly overweight cheetah wearing a suit, and in spite of the heat in the room ,a large overcoat that dragged slowly along the floor as she glided across it. She held my employee file in her paws, flipping through the pages slowly, deliberately pausing in her stride as she feigned concentration upon some document contained within. I highly doubt it had any relevance to the case, let alone the questions at hand. I had to give her credit for acting her part so well. "You know Mr. McNiven, I am surprised, and thoroughly impressed at the record keeping of your company. Honestly, if we could keep this level of organization at the precinct, well, it might just be the starting place of a crime free city don't you think?" She turned to face me, her lips peeled back to reveal a slightly off white smile. My non committed grunt was apparently not the response she wanted as she continued to smile at me quietly. "I guess so?" It was enough for her. She stopped smiling and returned to her pacing, humming and clicking her tongue in intrigue at each page she flipped through my file. I felt I was expected to react to the scrutiny in some way. Perhaps she wanted me to break into sweat, it would be a nice touch, or maybe I should give her a show with some uncontrollable shaking. She was looking for me to give away my guilt through an involuntary action. Bit of a let down for her that I do not act that way when I am guilty. "The most interesting thing about it, Mr. McNiven," I did not like the way she said my name, she doesn't like me, not just because I was a suspect, but there was something, deep within, that makes her not like, or trust me, "is how complete your work history is. Full statistics of types of issues you've responded to, how often you respond to any given associate's office. It really is a very thorough report. Quite the interesting read if I may say so." I nodded, it was not surprising they would keep track of these things. Truth is, everyone in my department is paid very well. Probably more so that required for the work we do. It is in the best interest of the company to make sure we are worth the cost of our services. "What really stands out to me, Mr. McNiven, is the outrageously high number of instances you were called to office 1042." She had finally gotten to her point. She emphasized it by dropping the file onto the table between us and sliding it toward me. I had to suppress a laugh, I didn't think an officer would do something so cliché of a television crime drama. I gazed at the page she left open and found she was right. I had made a very large number of service calls to the lynx's office. Looking at the report I thought we could have been a little more discreet. She had made it very clear to anyone who would listen that she was very bad at computer things while I made sure she didn't call in the same issue to often. We had both done all we could to keep our relationship a secret, even if we could have been more discreet, I believed it could be enough to hide my crime. "Not sure why it's so interesting. Ask anyone who knows her, Ms. Fischer wasn't exactly a computer wiz. It would stand to reason she would need some sort of technological help on a regular basis." "But, so much? I mean, honestly Mr. McNiven, you saw Ms. Fischer what? Eight, ,maybe nine times as often s you saw even your next most common associate in need. Is it really possible for someone to be that computer unsavvy?" "Yes." It was a simple answer. Most likely to a question she perceived to be very complex. It is common to believe anything that has to do with computers and technology to be complicated but as usual, I was making it as simple as I could. The glare on her face told me I should at least explain a little bit, "technology is always changing. New ideas, new developments are always making their way into the field. What you know about it can change completely in a day. Ms. Fischer's of the world exist because of this. Why waste your time learning it all, understanding even a small amount of it when that nice panther in the basement is around to solve any problems you might have?" "All right. I guess that makes some sense, right Rick?" The rottie in the corner simply nodded to her. He wouldn't even crack a smile to humor his partner. She had returned to her pacing, working through her next line of questioning. I could see in her eyes she was wondering how she would be able to trip me up. It's always obvious when there are no leads and the moment has been reached when the officers are grasping at whatever straws they can in an attempt to find some way to get answers t all their questions, "Can you explain why you were the one who seemed to always respond to Ms. Fischer's tech support calls?" "That would be an amazing question to pose to my supervisor. He is the one who assigns the responding associate to each tech issue. Would you like me to get his number for you?" I ended the statement with a knowing smile, which in turn garnered a deep growl from the spotted female. She appeared to be as big a fan of the cocky, know it all IT guy as I happened to be. "I don't think I will need to talk to him. I believe that you should have some idea as to why he would always send you when you have a much fuller load that that of your equally skilled associate, oh what is his name? Harry?" She studied my face, hoping to see some reaction to her assessment of our equal skill. Maybe she assumed jealousy of one coworker was enough to cause another harm. I hoped she didn't have some experience to lead to that assumption. "I guess if you'd rather follow your investigation through hearsay and estimation I too an ignore the hard facts," another growl, but at the same time a softer noise mixed with the sound. I had to focus my hearing to locate the source. Her silent partner was laughing very quietly to himself. At least someone in the room was enjoying my act. "It is actually a pretty easy guess as to why I was always sent. Either Ms. Fischer asked for me, or because we try to built rapport, send someone who not only knows the computer but the user. It's why I've never once stepped footpaw into Mr. Golden's office." Her only response was a nod. To her credit the officer did not take my bait. I had hoped to break her train of thought by bringing the gecko up but she was at least too smart for that tactic. She paced a few more times, her eyes darting between my file, her partner, and myself. Having realized she had reached an impasse with me, she let out a long sigh and sat in the chair opposite me. "Well Mr. McNiven, thank you for your time. We're sorry to have taken up so much of it. You can leave now, but, if you wouldn't mind, I do have one, non investigation related question to ask of you. Just something I have always been curious about. Why do all IT guys act like such smart ass know it alls?" "The million dollar question," I chuckled to myself "the answer is pretty simple actually. It's true, we may not know it all, but we do know one important thing that does give us all the power. We get paid ridiculous amounts of money, and the majority of the things we do could be done by any dolt with half a brain and the knowledge to use a search engine or help menu." Her partner finally made an audible noise in the form of laughter. Three days later we no longer saw a sign of the investigation. After anyone with even the slightest connection to her had been dragged through the cheetah's claws, the squad cars disappeared and we all returned to our normal lives without the occasional associate being dragged away for their round of questioning. If they suspected any of us there was no sign of it. I had almost gotten off completely free. Almost. "Oh man, she's coming this way again!" The rest of the lunch table sees events like Cindy joining us for the meal as a positive thing. Having an attractive woman choose our company during the hour long building shut down is, as far as they're concerned, a badge of honor. While she sat at our table, our office reputation was slightly higher. Harry couldn't get enough of it, leading the rest of the men in a round of fist bumps before she was able to see what they were doing. Her arrival was just another reminder I would not completely be getting away with what I had done. "Her Toby, mind if I join you guys?" "Of course he doesn't mind! Why would anyone mind if such a lovely lady sat with them?" Harry slid from beside me, leaving a gap between the two of us. I noticed a look of disgust skitter across her face while her eyes connected with the bat. I could have slid over as well, given her the end of the table, but I didn't want to make her infiltration of my life any easier than it could be. She took the seat after only a moment's hesitation. I wondered if her attraction to me was actually strong enough to overlook the repulsion anyone felt toward Harry. The ever concerned about her looks Cindy constantly dined on healthier, lean meats. Today's menu consisted of fish. She gingerly picked at the tender creature with her fork, pulling away the flaking meat and raising it to her lips. "They've already posted an opening for Ms. Fischer's job. It's kind of sad how easily they try to replace someone who gave so many years of her great service to the company." I had thought nothing could lose my interest faster than the conversations held by my department, however, it would seem secretary gossip seemed to quickly take the lead in that competition, "I hope it's not rude to say but, I hope they fill it soon. They have me sitting in for Maria while she's out on Maternity leave. I cannot stand that gecko she works for." The remaining time passed this way. Cindy continued to rambling in about memos, new correspondence policy and the like while the other men hung onto every word she spoke in hormone driven fascination. I focused my attention on my food. The rhythmic motion of my jaw moving up and down, the meat sliding down my throat, and the tearing sounds of my canines slicing through another bite. I did not like, or want, Cindy around. She was too close to her. Every day she had spent with the lynx brought the two of them closer together. They had already matched their heat cycle long before I had arrived, even at that moment she had some characteristics that were so much like hers. The way she pronounced a word, a gesture, her smell. I took shallow breaths around Cindy as taking in too much of her scent meant accepting the noticeable similarities to the way she smelled, hitching a ride to the past on the feline from the office they shared. It made me see her, it made me miss her.

It had been ten days since I killed her

I allowed a short period of time to pass before I did something I will always forget. Insomnia had thoroughly taken over my nights, many times I decided it was best to not be alone in my apartment with my thoughts. There is a twenty four hour diner a few blocks from where I live. Usually, I chose to spend my sleepless time sipping coffee and chatting with the graveyard shift. It was a good, safe way to pass the time between distractions. My keys slid easily into the ignition and I began to wonder how my regular visits to the eatery looked to the staff. Daytime visits would go unnoticed, staff changes meant not always seeing the same people when you go, and it isn't really unusual for someone to have a regular lunch place. But, with the same two people always serving me, and our long running conversations having revealed I work in a regular daytime job, they had to have questioned why I spent so much late night time loitering in one of their booths. Thinking on it, I decided I needed to give the diner a bit of a break, find some other way to spend my late nights for a while before I went back, and once I did, I would need to make sure I spaced the visits out. I needed to live invisibly, I couldn't have some minimum wage coffee jock being the key element in my capture and guilt. As I sat in my car, I thought about how the story would be announced. "It was, oddly enough, the words of a local waitress that pointed the investigation into the disappearance in the right direction," The reporter in my mind continued the story of the weird guy who started showing up every night, acting strange according to the bunny, always seemed to be hiding something. No, I couldn't let that happen. The thought of how weird it would seem for me to just stop visiting the rabbit and the duck at the diner every night after so long quickly flashed through my mind. I ignored it, told myself I couldn't allow every thought I had about getting caught and looking suspicious control my life and keep me from doing anything. Turning into a recluse would definitely raise an eyebrow or two. As I passed by the diner I glanced through the windows out of pure curiosity. The rabbit was working. At least, she was holding down the vacant fort. I shook the depressing image from my mind and left her to her vigilance. Someone would eventually come in and provide her a small amount of entertainment. I turned my attention to the road, it would take about an hour to reach the waterfront, and I was luckily not in need of any coffee to stay awake through the drive. The roads were quiet. I did not pass another vehicle at any time through my quest. About ten minutes into my journey I rolled the window down and turned on my radio. Music can be a great way to shorten a long drive but I couldn't risk something coming on that would remind me of her. Instead, I found the local talk radio station which was at the time granting access to its most opinionated political pundit to spread his own brand of brainwashed propaganda to the masses. I did not agree with, or believe a word he said. Not because of his affiliations, but because he was a late night political talk show host, none of which are deserving of anyone's attention, As much as his views bother me, it is the perfect choice for drives like the one I made that night. I was able to focus on his lies, argue with a man who couldn't hear me, and generally forget about the real world for the time I was on the road. When I arrived at my destination and pulled my car between a pair of large iron gates, he began an attack on the current economy and laid out his theories on who is to blame for the current state of things. I turned the dial completely down, deciding it best not to allow him to destroy the serene feeling of my environment. The headstones passed by slowly, an eerie glow reflected off the pure white surfaces of the markers when my headlights violated the calm sanctum of their quiet rows. I did not stay long in their presence, me engine's echo fading from one section and moving onto the next. I found the visitor's parking and shut off my car. The shutting of the driver's side door was the last sound to invade the peaceful place for the remainder of my visit. I walked along the rows, moving towards the large shadow of a tree. Beneath the old oak a headstone stood bearing the name of An Marie Incide. I do not know who An Marie is, I thought about looking her up, finding and reading her obituary, at least know a little bit about the woman who helps me hide my tracks just in case I ever ended up in front of her grave. In the end, I decided not to as I had no plans to ever return to her grave. It never ceases to surprise me how things rarely go according to plan. Under the alabaster grave stone sat five feet of dirt, below that a coffin containing the decaying earthly remains of Ms. Incide. I had picked up the idea of hiding her body under a foot of dirt beneath a freshly dug grave from a TV show, when I watched shows of that nature. I stood without making a noise in front of the unknown woman's grave. I thought about her, I let myself remember her name. I imagined she sat atop the stone, her legs crossed. She stared at me in disapproval. "I'm sorry." She crossed her arms as the words stuck in my throat. "Really, Nadia, please I...I didn't mean to..." The Lynx existed in my head, my mind made her sit on that gravestone, and yet she still did not accept my apologies. The fur beneath my eyes began to dampen with salty tears, "please Nadia, forgive me. I loved you, I..." she faded away, her head still shaking from side to side at my tear soaked pleas. I don't know how long I stayed at the graveyard, knelt before An Marie's grave shaking softly from my sobs. I did not say anything more and she did not return. My psyche must have gotten all the sadistic glee from the short time I spent with her memory. I left before the sun had risen and the morning groundskeepers arrived for work. I did not turn on the radio on my return trip. I let my mind do whatever it felt necessary to punish me for my deed. It was my day off, I parked at the diner as the bunny finished her shift and left for home looking very tired.

It had been twenty days since I killed her

As hard as I tried to keep it from happening, Cindy had become a permanent fixture at our lunch table. Worse so, without a director of marketing, and Mr. Golden preferring to do thinks on his own, she had plenty of free time to wander down to the dungeon and bother me. I returned from yet another network connectivity issue to find her sitting at my desk, playing with my wall calendar and tapping her claws on the oak finishing. "Hi Cindy, good to see you again." I really had gotten very good at the lying thing, "What brings you all the way down here?" "Same as always Toby. As much as I miss Ms. Fischer, I'd really appreciate if they would just hire her replacement already." She was able to pout like a pro, crossing her arms and legs at the same time to hit me with the full affect of the action, "Don't get me wrong Mr. Toby, I am very grateful of all the extra time I have had to visit you, but I'm sure I must be causing you a terrible bother." "No, not at all." Of course she was, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell her so. I had already hurt one woman from that office. As the thought entered my head I wondered what the karmic punishment is for hurting the other before rolling Harry's chair beside her. My perpetually inappropriate coworker had called in sick that day so at least I wouldn't have to deal with that unexpected bother of her existence in my life, "I do worry about you though, I am rarely around and you've got to get bored sitting around this dark office while I am not around." "Oh Toby please. I have no problem waiting all day for you." A frightening thought. She was starting to become the time I would not be able to dispatch of easily. Subtle hinting was not working, and with the way things were going, I didn't believe I could get rid of her even if I told her to flat out hit the road. I couldn't believe this strong infatuation was something new, or that it developed so quickly. No, in my own single tracked mind, always focused on the other member of the office, I had to miss the attraction and emotions growing within the feminine feline. "Some days, you may have to. Hey, look, it's lunchtime. Think I'll go get something to eat." She followed me like a faithful pet. The rest of the department was overloaded, so I had the torturous pleasure of lunch alone with Cindy. To her credit, she remained silent the entire meal, only bothering me with endless lust filled gazes and the occasional sigh of appreciation. I found it difficult to finish my meal, and Cindy didn't take a bite. She kept her promise and spent the remainder of the day hiding out in my office. I was kept rather bus with Harry's absence and was able to avoid my office through most of the day. Every time I popped back into the office, Cindy sat up in my chair looking hopeful, as if my return would save her from her boredom. Unfortunately for her, my returns were short lived. When out day was over, I tried to sneak out, hoping that if Cindy had asked, I could claim she was gone by the time I left, or at least I thought she would already be gone. I was not that lucky. "Hey Toby, I was hoping I could ask you something before you left," She waited for me by my car, she may have actually been crazier than I was. I grunted at her, and she took it as permission to ask her question, "I really liked lunch with you today. It was very nice to have that time alone with you. I would like to have some more of it. Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me this weekend?" I did not. The idea of encouraging her behavior sickened me. She was not picking up my hints that I was, without a doubt, uninterested in her. She was persistent, and I wasn't going to be shedding myself of her at any time soon, especially if I agreed to a date. She threw her world class pout at me as I contemplated my answer, and then it hit me. I could use this as a way to finally rid myself of her, once and for all. "Sure. Friday, I'll pick you up at eight."

It had been one month since I killed her