Antecedent 7
#7 of Antecedent
The guards at the front gates of Celestia's castle stepped aside to permit the two ponies entry. A strange pink bubble had been erected around the castle, and its leading edge was perfectly flush with the door, meaning that they had to step through it to get into the castle itself.
Raindrop shuddered, feeling the fur on her neck standing straight out as she stepped through. It was like stepping through a curtain of icy water, except it was completely dry.
Other than the weird sensation, nothing untoward happened.
"Is this some kind of shield?" Raindrop queried, peeking back at the pink barrier.
"I believe so," Sentinel said, also peering behind himself. "The Captain of the Guard must be maintaining it."
"I've never met the captain," Raindrop admitted, shaking her head. "Or seen him, for that matter."
"He's an older unicorn. Sticks to himself a lot, and spends most of his time training the recruits. He doesn't have a family as such," Sentinel explained as they walked towards the Hall of Elements.
Raindrop wrinkled her nose slightly. "No family because of his job?"
Sentinel nodded mutely.
"So the captain is too busy to even have a social life?" Raindrop asked, blinking once.
Sentinel shook his head, and then cast a glance at her. "The Captain of the Guard is forbidden from engaging in romances. It was a measure put in place after the Canterlot attack by Queen Chrysalis."
"That's terrible," Raindrop said with a shake of her head.
"It's practical," Sentinel counter, waving a hoof. "The Captain of the Guard should never be torn between duty and his personal life. It creates too many openings that can be exploited, and almost cost us Canterlot."
"If I remember the stories correctly... It was that self-same bond that saved Canterlot," Raindrop counter in response.
Sentinel gave a reasonable nod. "But it only fixed the flaw in the security that it created."
"Semantics," Raindrop said with a shrug.
"But I have a valid point."
"I'll concede that, but I just don't feel like arguing."
Sentinel paused at that, stopping, and then lifting a hoof to rest on her forehead. Raindrop furrowed her brows.
"Are you feeling sick?" Sentinel asked abruptly.
"...No?" Raindrop offered, confused.
Sentinel blinked once. "You don't want to argue. That's not normal."
Raindrop rolled her eyes and pushed the guard over with a firm press of her hooves, sending him sprawling, before she continued towards the Hall of Elements.
Celestia looked up from the table holding the Elements of Harmony as Raindrop and Sentinel entered.
"Ah, Raindrop, Sentinel. It is good to see you well. We have much to talk about," Celestia said tersely, looking back down at the elements, frowning deeply. Before Raindrop could say anything, Celestia added, "Sentinel sent word ahead already. I know about the changelings. I have suspected from the beginning."
Sentinel looked to the right, refusing to look at Celestia. "Forgive me Princess Celestia, I failed you."
Celestia looked up again, and then shook her head gently. "Don't be daft, Sentinel. The queen had control of the elements for long enough to fool our magic. You sensed Raindrop's changeling blood. You are not at fault."
"But I still had a changeling, multiple changelings around me, and I never even knew..." Sentinel protested, shaking his head.
"And neither did I," Celestia said sharply, her eyes narrowing. "Shame and embarrassment encourages you to do better, Sentinel. But right now, we need action, not self-pity. So shut up and stand at attention."
Sentinel stiffened, and then saluted. "Yes, Your Majesty."
"Thank you, Raindrop, for finding Wisp. I was... Surprised to find that she is a griffon. I think, with a little time, she will come to accept her responsibility as a bearer. I am going to be sending you after the next bearer," Celestia explained, waving a hoof for punctuation. "But first, we must discuss other matters."
"Like the changelings?" Raindrop asked.
"Like the changelings." Celestia looked up at Raindrop, her eyes narrowing. "You had no idea they were here?"
"I was just as shocked as everyone else," Raindrop admitted, shaking her head a moment. "But it all makes sense now... The dark guard that attacked me. Discord's behavior. The griffons attacking the airship. And why that dark guard got away so easily."
Celestia nodded at that, and then frowned. "I am more worried about this new queen's motives. She has had long to plan, and I believe that she was present during the previous invasion. After I determined that your grandmother was Queen Chrysalis in pony form, I managed to piece together events after the failed invasion. We knew that the magical blast decimated much of the changeling population, but we also knew there were survivors. I think that Chrysalis destroyed what she believed to be the last of the changelings by her own hoof, for reasons her own."
Raindrop nodded. "I managed to trick Queen Chitin into revealing some of her history to me."
Celestia looked up, raising a brow at that, and then nodding faintly, "Please, do tell."
Raindrop explained everything that Chitin had revealed to her. The love blast, how it damaged their senses and stopped them from sensing each other. How she had believed Chrysalis to have changed, and therefore hid from the rightful queen. How she had turned queen of her own brood of changelings. And Chrysalis destroying the changelings she lead.
Celestia listened intently, and then nodded. "It is as I suspected. But it does not reveal to us the motives of this new queen. It doesn't give us clues as to her ultimate intent. I fear that what she had planned will be far more unpleasant than merely installing her own form of new government."
Raindrop looked up at the princess, and then added, "She also spoke of that dragon, Spike. She said that he came to her and asked for a service."
A soft sigh left the princess, and she lifted a hoof to rest on one of the Elements of harmony, closing her eyes and shaking her head sadly, whispering, "Oh Spike, you fool..."
"I think Chitin must be feeding from him. Won't it make him sick like it did for Shine?" Raindrop queried, an ear perking.
"I... Cannot say for certain. It is possible that, given he is a dragon, the effects of the draining could be slowed or negated entirely. It is not a subject I am familiar with."
"So... What now? Can you hunt the changelings down?"
Celestia paused at that, and then shook her head. "Not at present, no. I might be able to invent some new spell to negate the magic they are using to hide themselves from my guards, but I would require all of the Elements of Harmony for that. At present, we only have five."
"Oh, you found the other?" Raindrop asked happily, grinning.
"My guards retrieved it from beyond the Gates of Tartarus, yes. Several of them fell during the mission though." Celestia gave a sad shake of her head. "We still cannot find the Element of Magic. I have sent the Seeker Stone with Damascus, our best flier. But a grid search of all of Equestria will take far too long. We need the Elements of Harmony to protect Equestria. Without them, we are vulnerable."
Raindrop looked right, to peer at Sentinel at the news that more of his comrades had fallen. The guard looked subdued, and stared at his forehooves.
"Do you have further need of me?" Raindrop asked, looking up to the princess.
Celestia nodded gently. "I wish you to seek the rest of the bearers of the elements. The elements need bearers to channel their powers. I feel we will require the elements before this matter is resolved. This is a task my guards alone cannot do."
"Why not?" Raindrop queried, confused. "I'm just a storm chaser. What can I do that the guards can't?"
"It is not your abilities that allow you to do what they cannot, it is your shortcomings."
"How utterly reassuring." Raindrop shook her head for a moment. "But it still doesn't make any sense to me."
"Necessity breeds perseverance. And it is friendship that acts as a catalyst for the power of the elements," Celestia explained, punctuating the sentence with a motion of her hoof.
"So... You're saying that, because I need the Elements of Harmony to fix myself, I'm much more likely to persevere in finding them?" Raindrop asked after a moment.
"Indeed," Celestia affirmed.
"And I have to become friends with the bearers in order for all of this to work?" Raindrop asked with a heavy sigh.
Celestia frowned like that, and then picked up a seeker stone from the table, handing it to her. The orb swirled with an amber light.
"Do not view making friends with those whose help you require to be a chore," Celestia warned as she dropped the orb into Raindrop's hooves. "Otherwise, you have already failed."
Raindrop walked slowly down the corridor towards the front doors of the castle, Sentinel in step beside her.
"So... Are you coming with me?" Raindrop asked of the guard, her tone hopeful.
"Celestia did not order me to accompany you," Sentinel pointed out.
Raindrop's expression fell, and she quickly made a mask of her expression. She didn't want Sentinel to see that she was hurt by his reluctance. "Oh... Well. That's fine, I guess."
Sentinel snorted a moment, and then pushed her shoulder with a hoof. "Without standing orders, I am forced to enact my previous duties. And my previous duties were to defend you."
A smile lifted Raindrop's face at that, and then leaned sideways to kiss his cheek. "I'm glad you're coming with."
Sentinel gave a wan smile at the kiss on his cheek, his expression and manner rather melancholy.
"Raindrop..." he started, as they walked down the corridor.
"Yes?" Raindrop asked, her ears splaying back at the tone of his voice.
"You're not just... You know, with me because Shine left you, are you?" Sentinel asked suddenly, his tone worried.
Raindrop stopped walking at that, and extended a wing to stop the guard, halting his own walking. Raindrop pulled him around to face her, looking into his eyes with her own narrowed.
The mare leaned in and kissed the guard full on the mouth, staring into his eyes with such an intense gaze that the guard had to avert his own under the embarrassment of her scrutiny.
Raindrop pulled back from the kiss, and then nudged him once with her nose, pulling him close and wrapping her hooves around him. "I'm in a bad place. I have something deep inside me that I can feel growing stronger. It wants to get out. It wants to make me a monster. And sometimes, I want to be that monster. It's already destroyed a long-lasting relationship. And yes, this is all traumatic, and sometimes, I just wanna curl up on a cloud and cry forever. But what I feel for you is real. Maybe it's amplified by all these troubles I'm going through, maybe it's more intense because of them. But I know the underlying feelings are the same."
Sentinel nodded at that, and then stared at her, blinking once. "Wow. You know, with that long, touchy-feely monologue, I could almost think you were a for-real female."
Raindrop rolled her eyes, pushing him with her hooves. "I really do like you, you know. Well, at least, when I don't want to kill you."
The guard nodded at that, grinning at her, his head tiltin to the side.
Raindrop turned to start walking again.
"IthinkIloveyou," Sentinel blurted in a rush.
Raindrop froze, mid-step, blinking once, her ears slowly splaying backwards. A look of dismay came across her face. She stared back at him over her shoulder, disappointment written all over her face.
Sentinel winced backwards, feeling a strong urge to cover himself with his wings. "Did I... Did I say something wrong?"
Raindrop gave him a pained expression, and then whined softly, turning about and stepping over to him carefully.
Sentinel sensed her disapproval of his admittance, and shirked away from her slightly, looking at the floor to the right of himself, chagrined. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said anything."
Saindrop shook her head, pulling him into a hug, squeezing him tightly and forcing him to face her, gently rubbing her nose against his own. "I'm really glad you said that, Sentinel. But... I'm also sad."
Sentinel looked up at her, not understanding. "This is another one of those female moments that are going to go right over my head, isn't it?"
Raindrop nodded sadly.
"I like you Sentinel, I really do. But what you said... I know you want me to repeat it." Raindrop shook her head sadly, averting her eyes.
"But you won't?" Sentinel said, more of a statement than a question, the guard heaving a soft, disappointed sigh, pulling away from her.
"Sentinel, don't be like that," Raindrop said, moving up to press against his side, tentatively extending a wing to curl her pinions around his own in a show of intimacy. "It's just... It's too soon after Shine. I can't be sure of my own heart. I'm not going to say that to you unless I absolutely mean it. Evergreen and Cee taught me that that is the one word that you never throw around lightly, lest it lose all its meaning."
"I understand," Sentinel said, his voice sounding slightly muffled past the sad lump in his throat.
"No, you don't," Raindrop said with a shake of her head, pulling him around to face her for a moment, and then kissing him again, tears sparkling in her eyes. "I really do like you, Sentinel. A whole lot. But I won't use that word until I know I mean it. Otherwise, I cheapen it. As Cee told me, 'You can wait a week to be sure, but regret lasts a lifetime'."
Sentinel gave a short nod. "I understand."
"Do you?" Raindrop asked urgently, wrapping her hooves around him and holding him close. "I don't want to push you away. But I know if I don't make you understand, you'll think it's because I don't like you."
"Well you don't actually love me. Or you'd be able to say so," Sentinel pointed out with a deep frown, his tone carrying a repressed note of hurt.
Raindrop sighed, shaking her head and loosening the hug, picking up one of Sentinel's hooves and holding it in her own, staring into his eyes. "Just... Give me more time, okay?"
Sentinel nodded, pulling his hoof from her grasp and then turning away, murmuring, "You have a bearer to find."
Ears splaying backwards, Raindrop lifted a hoof to try and comfort the guard, to reassure him that she wasn't trying to hurt him, before she just dropped her hoof and nodded, turning away and walking alone towards the front doors of the castle.
Raindrop pushed it all out of her mind. Shine. Sentinel. The L word. She just pushed it all aside to deal with it later. Instead, she focused on her next goal. The bearer of the Element of Honesty.
The Seeker Stone glowed faintly as she stuffed it into a saddlebag, checking the bearing on it before closing the flap and setting off into the morning sky. As far as she could tell, the stone was pointing to Cloudsdale. So it was in that direction that Raindrop flew, deciding to check the bearing when she got closer to the floating city.
Sentinel, however, could think of nothing but. The conversation played in his mind over and over again, taunting him with his foolishness and youthful impatience. Like a colt proudly declaring that he was the best flier in all of Equestria, he had just gone and blurted out such a stupid thing to say.
It was frustrating. Infuriating. He was angry at himself, and angry at Raindrop. It was a transient anger, that came and went, undirected but intense in its purpose. He would just be recovering and coming to terms with what he had said, rationalized it in his mind, when it hit him exactly how stupid he had been, and how stupid he still was, and the anger returned.
And he angry at Raindrop for denying him. They had faced down a hydra together, and all she could say was that she needed more time?
He tried to believe her. He wanted so badly to believe what she said. But there was a niggling little doubt that kept snowballing into an almost paranoid state of mind. He tried to tell himself that she was telling nothing but the truth. But his mind was a fickle beast, and his insecurities grew. He had soon convinced himself that what she had said was all a lie.
Raindrop had just broke up with her boyfriend, and now, this love-struck colt she barely even liked, a one-night-stand at best, had come at her throwing around the 'L' word like a cheap drunk trying to get a quick lay. Of course she had lied to get rid of him!
Anger welled up in Sentinel. Frustration mingled with self-pity and self-disgust, and he soon found himself mindlessly attacking the training dummies in the yard. They were built to be rough-and-tumble objects, but Sentinel was breaking them with apparent ease. Anger hardened his blows, but it also blocked pain from his mind.
By the time the captain came to order him to cease his 'training', his hooves were bloody and bruised. He was a mess, covered in dirt from tumbles on the ground, blood from his hooves, and bits of wood chips where the dummies had snapped under the combined weight of his angered blows and his own body weight.
Sentinel was ordered to the hospital, to have his wounds tended to, as the Royal Guard's healers were busy instructing the new recruits.
Raindrop alighted on a cloud near Cloudsdale, popping her saddlebag open and peering back at the seeker stone. It pointed straight ahead, and the glow was getting stronger. She was close.
Following the line in the orb, Raindrop set off from the cloud, coasting in a smooth arc towards the white city. It had been many months since she had last been in Cloudsdale, but she remembered the lay of the skystreets well.
After only a few minutes of flying, she had already determined exactly where the stone was sending her: the Cloudsdale Coliseum.
Usually host to major events, the coliseum was, on its off-duty time, a training ground for the Wonderbolts. It had always been a goal of Raindrop's to try out for the Wonderbolts; A dream many pegasi shared.
There was the echo of movement and voices behind the walls of the coliseum, and Raindrop backwinged to a pause in front of the main entrance, frowning. Checking the seeker stone again, she found it had gone a solid colour. She was close.
Wrinkling her nose, she stepped through the entrance, walking down a long hallway until she emerged onto the field proper. Ponies flitted this way and that, casting flickering shadows across the ground with their passage. Each and every one of them wore the standard Wonderbolt uniform, a blue and yellow covering that hadn't changed in design in two generations.
Three Wonderbolts, seniors by the looks of them, hovered in the air, watching the others fly in circles around the arena, occasionally barking orders at the junior members: Instructions to fly closer to their partner, or straighten their wings in their strokes.
Raindrop watched this for several long moment, wondering exactly how to attract the attention of the Wonderbolts, or if she even wanted to. Any single one of the ponies could be the bearer for the Element of Honesty. Just how would that conversation go, anyhow? 'Oh hi, do you think you'd be a good bearer for an Element of Harmony?'
"Hey, Rookie. Uniforms are down there," a pony called to Raindrop, pointing with a hoof towards the locker rooms.
Raindrop gave a faint shiver, and then turned around, heading down towards the locker rooms, pushing the door open and stepping inside. A series of uniforms had been set up, waiting for recruits to use them. Raindrop stepped over to one of them, lifting a hoof to touch the fabric.
As she pulled the suit down off the hanger, she reflected that this was not how she had envisioned her first flight with the Wonderbolts. But at least, in the air with them, she'd be able to better gauge which of them were honest. Or at least she hoped she would be able to. She couldn't exactly walk out there, stop them all one-by-one and question their personal values.
Sentinel winced as he limped into the hospital, wings fluttering slightly to try and avoid putting too much weight on his forehooves. A quick dip through a raincloud on the way to the hospital to clean his hooves had cooled both his body and his mind, and without the blind anger of self-disgust and rejection, the pain in his hooves had really hit him.
"I seem to find you wherever I go," the nurse stated flatly as she came down a hallway and into the main foyer. She sighed, putting down a box of supplies she had been intending on transporting back to Ponyville. "Come on, this way."
Sentinel grit his teeth, and then followed after the nurse, leaving a trail of small droplets of blood.
Very soon, Sentinel was seated on his rump, forehooves in the air as the nurse cleaned off his wounds, inspecting them. "There's wood splinters in here. I'm going to have to remove them unless you want them to become a permanent part of your biology. Oh, and it's going to hurt."
Sentinel grit his teeth, ears splaying backwards, watching as the nurse produced a pair of tweezers and a splinter probe, beginning to excise the splinters. "Can't you give me something for the pain?"
"Blunt force trauma?" the nurse offered, ears perking up at him. "Quit being a foal and hold still. What did you do to yourself? You look like you kicked in every door in Canterot to get here."
Sentinel snorted, and then looked away. "It was nothing."
"This isn't nothing," The nurse said, and then gave a light press on a certain point of his hoof. Sentinel hissed and tugged his hoof back.
The nurse gave a smug smile. "You've bruised the bone. That takes a certain amount of force. And you've done it in a lot of places. What was it, did you get in a fight?"
As she spoke, the nurse began to clean his wound with a cleaning solution, inspecting them for extra splinters.
"Training dummies," Sentinel admitted after a long moment.
"Those training dummies sure do hit hard," the nurse commented, twisting his hoof over. Sentinel bared his teeth, blanching. "And you've managed to strain half the muscles in your upper hooves, as well."
The nurse leaned closer, and then pressed on his chest, between his forelegs. Sentinel winced.
"Yep, done a real number on yourself. Now, what possessed you to beat on the training dummies until you wrecked half your muscles and tore your hooves up?" the nurse asked flatly, looking up at him accusingly.
Sentinel snorted again, looking down at his hooves, feeling like a colt again, mumbling "Just got angry."
"This is a rage, Sentinel. And if you're going about causing damage like this to yourself because you just got 'angry', then I'm going to be having words with your captain," the nurse said immediately, sternly.
The guard growled faintly, his tail giving an irritated flick. "Fine. It was Raindrop."
"I understand that she can be an annoyance, but this amount of damage..." the nurse trailed off, looking up at the pegasus for several long moments, the cogs working in her mind. "And not even last night, I was forcing you to clean up the mess you two left."
A thoughtful hum left the nurse, and she went back to cleaning Sentinel's hooves, tugging more splinters out of them.
"You told her you love her, didn't you?" the nurse asked after a time.
Sentinel didn't respond, but the nurse got her answer from his expression of surprise and chagrin.
"You're not the first, males seem to fall in love with anything they take to bed. Pretty simple biological fact there. But this damage..." the nurses tone turned sympathetic, "She said she didn't want to see you anymore, didn't she?"
Sentinel shook his head, looking down at his hooves again. "Said she needed time."
"And you're angry about that? Lordy. If a guy did that to me, I'd turf him out of my life so fast his head would spin," the nurse said with a shake of her head, beginning to apply the healing ointment to Sentinel's hooves.
"She didn't say it back," Sentinel said petulantly.
The nurse stared up at him for a long moment, chewing her bottom lip. "...Were you expecting her to?"
Sentinel gave a soft sigh, and then shook his head. "...No. No I guess I didn't."
"Then you're angry... At yourself?" the nurse concluded, ears perking at him.
"I feel stupid. I feel like a stupid colt bouncing around telling every filly he thinks looks cute 'I looove you!'," Sentinel scowled, grinding his teeth. "I wish I never said it."
The nurse snorted a moment, and then shook her head. "Better to say the truth and regret it than never say it at all."
"Raindrop said almost the exact opposite. Something about 'better to wait a week and be certain, because regret lasts a lifetime' or some nonsense," Sentinel remembered, snorting and chewing his tongue in annoyance.
"But of course. She isn't sure if she loves you. That's a pretty simple concept. You, however, don't have the same array of problems Raindrop does, therefore, different obscure ancient philosophies apply to you than to her," The nurse said with a smile, beginning to bind Sentinel's hooves in bandages.
"Still wish I didn't say it," Sentinel said with a shake of his head. "I feel stupid."
"You sound stupid. You think you're the first couple to have these problems? You're not. And you sure as hell won't be the last. Buck up, and act like a stallion, not a colt. Give her space if she needs it, or go galloping after her and drag her to a hotel room, or however it is you kids show affection these days. The fact that she hasn't turfed you out on your ass speaks volumes. You can at least be certain she's thinking about it. But pressuring her will just push her away. And being angry about it is putting you back here, annoying me!" the nurse scowled up at him, tightening his bandages and then deeming her work done. "If I have to give you two couples advice again, I'm going to start running a metre and charging."
Sentinel snorted at that, and shook his head, looking down at his hooves. He took a deep breath, and then looked back up at her. "Thanks, I guess."
"Don't thank me. Thank Raindrop. She's the one who's even considering spending more time with you. She must have the patience of a saint," the nurse said with a shake of her head.
"You two have to be related," Sentinel stated after a moment.
The nurse snorted at that, and then pushed him with her hooves, urging him to leave the room. "You must just have this effect on females. Now get out! And next time you injure yourself, try to hurt your tongue as well, so I don't have to listen to your whining!"
Raindrop's wings hurt. Her chest hurt. Her shoulders hurt. Everything hurt.
Burning aches and pains heralded the unbelievable amount of stiffness she would be feeling in the morning. The Wonderbolts were not an easy group to please.
The suit she wore was clammy with her sweat, and the musky scent of it was strong on the air around her. She wanted nothing more than to fall into a lake and just float there for eternity. But the Wonderbolts were pushing her onwards.
"C'mon rookie! You'll need to fly faster than that if you want to qualify!" the captain urged. She was a smaller pegasus, with a violently red mane and tail. White wings protruded from her sides, keeping her aloft. Her mane and tail flickered with the wing, giving her the frightening appearance of being constantly on fire. She was aptly named 'Firebrand'.
The two ponies under her were both male. One of them was a blue pegasus with a black mane and tail, named 'Velocity'. The second, 'Windshear', was a lightly-built male of a soft brown colour with two-tone green-and-blue mane and tail.
And they were all watching the rookies circling the arena, putting them through their paces. Already, five had dropped out from exhaustion or accidents. It was brutal. If this was the entrance exam, then Raindrop couldn't even fathom how hard their daily training would be.
And still, she was no closer to discovering which of them were the bearer of the element. It could have been any of them, from the captain of the wonderbolts, to one of the recruits who had already left.
The scrape of a key in the lock resounded. The cogs inside the door clicked and turned. Stardancer saw it all happening. She knew what was going to happen next. But further out, the possibilities cascaded in a cacophony of uncertainty.
To Stardancer, time was a river. A roaring, rushing, unstoppable river. It could be forded. It could be dammed. It could be diverted, but it would always be flowing ever onwards. Stardancer could look ahead of the stream, and see the course it would take. It was a muchly oversimplified way of looking at it. For her to explain it adequately, she would have to explain to a pony that the river could split at any junction at any second. And that there were a billion different courses the river could take every metre.
Some events were easier to discern than others. She called these the 'keys'. The keys were what grounded her. They gave her points to 'jump' to. Sometimes the keys were simple things, unobtrusive. Like a rock falling. But sometimes, the keys were different. Sometimes, the keys were deaths.
Today, the key was Sentinel. The key was also the key in the door, but the key she had to focus on was the conversation. The rules of observations and interaction were muddying the waters of the time river. She needed her wits about her to keep the course of the river from being diverted too far off course to be deflected. Lives and happiness depended upon it.
The door clicked again as the handle was turned, and the orderly opened the door to admit Sentinel into the room. The orderly gazed past the guard, raising a brow at Stardancer.
Stardancer merely nodded in reply. She knew the orderly was asking if it was fine.
"You already know who I am," Sentinel stated simply, sitting down in front of her and watching her with narrowed eyes. "And I know who you are. You can see the future."
"Anyone can see the future, Sentinel. I can merely predict it with a greater deal of certainty," Stardancer replied cryptically.
Sentinel snorted, and then produced a coin from a pouch. "When I drop it, what will it land on?"
Stardancer watched him for a long moment, and then shook her head gently, "You will have to throw it before I will know."
Sentinel flicked his hoof, and the coin rose into the air. Stardancer did not follow it with her eyes. She stared into Sentinel's eyes, watching him.
"It is a two-sided coin," she stated flatly. "What do you hope to achieve?"
"I needed to know that you're telling the truth," Sentinel said, retrieving the coin, and then slipping it back into his pouch. "How can you not know what I'm here for?"
"Because you have interacted with me," Stardancer said, rubbing a hoof against her temple, brow furrowing.
"And?" Sentinel queried, staring at her, an eyebrow raising.
"And? Every time I interact with you, every time I speak, every time you think about me, or observe me in any way, with any of your senses, it changes how you think. And how you think changes your questions. There are billions of possible futures cascading past my mind's eye right now and I cannot pluck a key out of them to accurately predict the flow. Such as when you flicked the coin. I could not know what it would land on because my answer of heads or tails would influence your throw itself, from the timing of it, to the angle of your hoof, or the strength you threw it at," Stardancer explained tartly, staring at him. "Now ask what you came to ask."
Sentinel paused at that, wetting his lips with his tongue, and then looking up at her for a long moment, and then down at his hooves. "...I need to know if Raindrop loves me."
Stardancer gave a nod at that, and then peered up at him, frowning deeply. "I... Cannot say."
"What do you mean, you can't say?" Sentinel asked, snorting once and then staring at her, shaking his head. "Some prophet you are."
Stardancer took several long seconds to respond, her eyes slightly glazed. She gave a start, and then blinked once at him, as though only just realising he was still there. "I cannot say. If I say one answer or another, it may trigger a set of actions that cause the opposite. I need to examine the keys. Need to test the waters and make the river flow backwards..."
Sentinel frowned at that. Everyone in the royal guard knew of Stardancer. She was a threat to the security of the castle, and thus, all guards were warned of her abilities. Mainly, they were warned to stay out of her way. If she wished something to happen, then it was widely known that she would get her way. The last time she had been denied a visit to the park, she had put the entire asylum staff in hospital with food poisoning and then escaped the skeleton-crewed facility and spent her day at the park before placidly returning to the asylum.
"You really can't tell me?" Sentinel asked with a deep sigh, his head drooping.
The unicorn shook her head gently. "I am sorry, Sentinel. I wish I could comfort your troubled heart. But I need time. Need more time. Every time you speak with me, you expand the possibilities, and it takes longer."
"How?" Sentinel asked, staring at her, head canting to the side.
"Because I have free will. And free will is my burden," Stardancer replied with a wave of her hoof.
"How can free will be a burden?" Sentinel asked, staring at her.
"Do you know how I will react to every word?" Stardancer asked suddenly.
"Definitely not," Sentinel replied with a shake of his head. "I was kinda hoping you'd just say 'yes' and I'd be on my merry way."
"The world does not work like that. Time does not work like that. Every word I say has a different effect. Every explanation I give shapes a million events each in the future. It changes them in tiny ways. But even the tiniest ripple can become a wave, and wash away that which I hope to save. A single word could change your future, or the future of another pony whom you meet. This conversation may cause you to hold up a pony in the street, and the chance meeting with his future wife never happens, and their children are never born. With every word I speak to you, a billion possibilities throw themselves in my face and clamour for my attention. I cannot focus on them all."
"But...Can't you just tell me if Raindrop and I will end up together?" Sentinel pleaded. "You're a prophet, you have to have some idea."
Stardancer shook her head sadly, and then laid her head down on her forehooves. She went completely silent.
After a minute or so, Sentinel moved forwards to nudge her with his hoof. "Stardancer?"
When Stardancer looked up, her eyes were unfocused, glassed over. And she was mumbling under her breath.
"The fence. The cart. The keys are cascading. Five ponies. Bronsen. Mane tossed. Pebble. Hesitation..." she trailed off and winced, hooves lifting to rub at her temple, pressing with a strong pressure as she began to beat her muzzle against the ground, tears starting to stain her muzzle as a low wail rolled from her throat.
"The keys! There's so many keys!" Stardancer wailed, beginning to sob, "The keys! Have to find the right keys!"
Sentinel drew back from the babbling pony. she sounded hurt, like someone close to her had just come to harm. The door unlocked, and the orderly gently tugged Sentinel away from the stricken pony, ushering him out into the hallway as another orderly entered the room, a large syringe in hoof.
"The ball! Throw the ball away!" Stardancer shrieked, as she tried to wriggle away from the orderly, kicking at him impotently with her rear legs. "Throw the ball! Anger of foal's tears will show the way!"
The orderly closed the door, and the unicorn's wailing was muted.
"Sorry you had to see that," the orderly said apologetically. "Her medication isn't as effective as it used to be. We're still trying to work out the timing of her doses to keep her, well... Sane."
Sentinel nodded in understanding, turning to leave. It had been a colossal waste of time. Even a living prophet couldn't tell him if Raindrop and he would end up together. Maybe he was just a young colt pining after what he couldn't have? Lingering doubts still swirled through his mind, even worse now after what Stardancer had said. He had just wanted some small reassurance. But even that was, apparently, too much to ask for.
The guard sighed and kicked a pebble, watching it skip away across the street, before he began to follow it, head lowered dejectedly.
Wisp looked up at Princess Celestia with a canted head, her expression confused.
"So... I just have to choose to take it?" the young griffon was asking, seeming bewildered.
Celestia smiled and nodded gently, motioning for Wisp to take the Element of Laughter from the table.
Wisp frowned a little bit, and then leapt up onto the table proper, padding over to the Element of Laughter and hefting it in her paws. It remained grey and stony.
"It's just a rock," Wisp complained, rolling the element back and forth between her paws, "Laughter isn't even an element. Fire and water are."
Celestia gave a smile at that, shaking her head gently. "It is an Element of Harmony. One of six, in fact. Tell me, Wisp. Why do you laugh? Why are you happy?"
The young griffon blinked at that, her ears splaying backwards. "I just... Am."
"No, Wisp. You are happy for other reasons," Celestia chided gently, leaning down to look the young griffon in the eye with a piercing gaze that seemed to penetrate her very soul. "You grew up alone, in the desert. You cannot fly. And yet, you are always happy, why is that?"
Wisp gave a little bit of a sigh at that, her head lowering. "I'm not... Always happy. Sometimes, I get really sad..."
Celestia nodded gently. "That is perfectly understandable, but why is it that you never let it consume you utterly?"
"Because... Well. Because it doesn't do anything. What did being sad ever do for me?" Wisp asked, shaking her head for a moment and huffing. "It makes me angry and makes me depressed. It makes me feel... Weak and powerless and useless. When I'm sad, I just want to curl up and cry and not do anything."
"And how is it that you keep from being sad?" Celestia queried.
"I just... I decide not to be sad anymore. The things making me sad are all in my past. I just... I just choose not to let the things I can't change matter. And I smile. If it's something I can change, then I let myself be sad, but if I'm being sad about something that's all the way in the past, it just ruins my day. And that's not acceptable. So... I just smile."
Celestia smiled at that, and nodded gently. "That is a very good way to look at life, Wisp. And look,"
Wisp followed the line of Celestia's gaze, and saw the orb in her paws suddenly seem to shift. The surface of it morphed, and turned a glassy black, while tendrils of vibrant pink began to build and glow within it. A sudden sensation of happiness filled Wisp, and she felt her beak opening in a grin as a pink light suffused her form.
Celestia smiled, watching the griffon staring vapidly into the glowing Element of Harmony, the orb reflected twice in her large, joyous eyes.
One bearer was already found. Now there were only five to go.
Raindrop panted heavily, her head held low and ears splayed backwards, her wings half-extended, the leading edges limp and unresponsive. She had been flying for at least two hours, and every flight surface hurt. Her head was pounding, and her throat was insanely dry.
The trainees had all been ordered to line up at the base of the arena, and the Wonderbolts themselves were all wandering back and forth, selecting and moving about the pegasi they had been impressed with.
To Raindrop's utter confusion, she had been put in the group of 'prospective candidates'.
A water bottle was passed around to them, and they were urged to take but a sip. If they tried to take any more, the water bottle was taken away.
After the water bottle made its way around the trainees three times in a row, the group of pegasi who hadn't been chosen were told 'thank you for coming' and implored to train harder.
And then it was just a handful of prospective candidates left in the arena, with the three members of the Wonderbolts.
"Well, rookies. Looks like you made the next step of the trials. Return here tomorrow and we'll see if you have the werewithal to remain with us," Firebrand said with a grin that could easily be construed as 'evil'.
Raindrop groaned faintly.
"Is something the matter, rookie?" Firebrand asked sharply, stalking over in front of Raindrop, almost nose-to-nose.
"No, ma'am," Raindrop said immediately, straightening up and blinking once.
"You think this is a game rookie?!" Firebrand asked, eyes narrowing slowly.
Raindrop blinked once, and then worked her mouth slowly to try and get some of the dryness out of it, her tongue thick and heavy. "No, ma'am"
Firebrand scowled, and leaned in close, until their noses touched, lightning seeming to flash in her eyes. "Don't you lie to me rookie!"
"You know, I can't tell me new coltfriend I love him because I'm afraid of what it'll mean, what do you think I should do?" Raindrop asked suddenly.
The wonderbolt captain blinked at that, her expression twisting into one of confusion. "First off, I don't know you, and I hardly care for your personal life. Why the hell would you even ask something like that?!"
Raindrop gave a single nod at that. "Well, you see...
"In the past month, I've discovered that I have changeling blood in me. Mainly because my grandmother was the queen of the changelings, Chrysalis. She's dead now. Turns out she used the Elements of Harmony to get herself fixed. Whatever they did wore off recently, and caused me to begin sucking the love from my coltfriend. 'Course, I wanted to fix myself. I went and got the elements, and then I found out they were fake. About this time, we found out discord escaped."
A collective gasp rose from the pegasi on the field, but Raindrop ignored it, focusing on Firebrand entirely.
"Anyhow, Sentinel, an asshole of a royal guard, went with me to the grave site to wait for Spike to leave flowers there, because he might have some clue as to where the real elements went. While waiting, Sentinel, who I should mention hates changelings, and can sense the changeling in my blood, drove me away with spiteful anger. He was then kidnapped and dragged away. I was curious, so I followed after the kidnappers. After entering tunnels swarming with Diamond Dogs, I managed to rescue Sentinel. You know, after I left him for dead once.
"Since then, I have fought off an assassin who buried a dagger four inches into my shoulder and chest, faced down a hydra, travelled to Transavian in search of a bearer for the Element of Laughter, found the power source for an airship, and travelled on it back here to Equestria. Of course, we were hunted down by a pack of griffons, and we had to irreparably damage the airship itself to get away. We flew it into a mountain, causing what was probably the single biggest act of destruction for a generation.
"I've done all this, because, without the Elements of Harmony, I'm going to slowly kill anyone who loves me. Well, I won't actually kill them, per se. More I'll just suck the life out of them until they get so depressed that they commit suicide. Oh, and that asshole guard who hates me? He's now in love with me. I'm not even sure if I like him because of who he is or because he's my only choice in this nightmare of a life I'm having. Not to mention that yesterday, I came face-to-face with Discord, who revealed to me that the entire time, it wasn't the god of chaos pulling the strings. No, Discord is still imprisoned in stone. It was Queen Chitin the entire time, the new Queen of the Changelings, and she wants me dead. Probably even more so now that I managed to escape her clutches.Oh, and my coltfriend, whom I've been trying to fix myself for, broke up with me. And now, I've been flying in a circle for two hours trying to figure out which of you is the new bearer for the Element of Honesty. So yeah, Firebrand. This is a game for me. This is a quiet diversion from the trainwreck that is my life."
Firebrand stared at her for several long moment. Nopony said a single word. The entire arena was hushed.
"You're... Not lying," Firebrand said softly, staring at Raindrop with wide, awed eyes.
Raindrop shrugged and tossed her mane. "You wanted me not to lie. So I just laid it all out."
"And one of us is the bearer for the Element of Honesty?" Firebrand asked, staring.
"Actually, I rather think that it's you," Raindrop said, pointing at Firebrand with a hoof.
"W-what? Why me?"
Raindrop snorted, rolling her eyes. "You just railed at me for telling a lie, and you have to ask that question?"
Firebrand blinked at that, recoiling slightly, and then looked back at the other two Wonderbolts. "I... I need to talk to her in private."
Velocity and Windsheer nodded mutely, and the pegasi all watched in awed silence as Raindrop and Firebrand walked off towards the locker rooms for a private talk.
"You know when I'm lying?" Raindrop asked, as she calmly stepped into the showers and flicked the cold water on, without even taking off her uniform. A cooling cascade of water began to flow down her form.
"Most of the time," Firebrand replied emotionlessly, seemingly stunned.
"Kind of a lot to take in all at once, huh?" Raindrop asked with a giggle.
"Just a bit," Firebrand replied with a single blink.
Raindrop carefully lowered herself to the floor of the shower, spreading her wings to catch the water, pulling the goggles off and throwing them aside. "You know, a few months ago, I would have killed to be in the shower with the Captain of the Wonderbolts."
"And now?" Firebrand asked, slipping over to the shower beside Raindrop's, flicking the water on as she began to remove her uniform.
"I couldn't really care less. There are so many more important things to think about," Raindrop said with a shake of her head.
"It seems like it," Firebrand admitted, laying her head on her forehooves. "The changelings are really back?"
"Almost got executed by three of them," Raindrop said flippantly.
"And you're looking for the bearers of the Elements of Harmony?"
"Eeyup. Found one, so far. A griffon, over in Transavian."
"And you think I'm the bearer for Honesty?"
"You're the one with a massive problem with lying," Raindrop said with a shrug.
"I... Guess that is correct. But... That's a lot to take in all at once," Firebrand said in a quiet murmur.
"Well you'd best hurry up. I still have to find four other bearers," Raindrop stated.
Firebrand was silent for several long moment, "I... What do you need me to do?"
"Report to Princess Celestia. Just tell the guards that I sent you," Raindrop said calmly.
"I'll go there first thing after this is over," Firebrand replied.
"Oh, and tell me something. Why did you choose me when half the other candidates outflew me?" Raindrop asked simply.
There was another pause, and then Firebrand admitted, "I kinda got the feeling that you were here for something more than just try-outs."
"Good intuition," Raindrop said, and then gave a soft, sad laugh. "I think you'll have need of it again before all of this is over."
Firebrand arrived at the castle long before Raindrop did. She told the guards that she had been sent by Raindrop, and after a short pause, she was allowed inside.
A guard escorted her up to the Hall of Elements, and she was presented to Celestia.
Immediately, Firebrand bowed. She felt naked without her flight suit. Especially in front of the Princess, of all ponies!
"Ah, Firebrand, I believe?" Celestia said warmly.
"Y-yeah," Firebrand replied, wide-eyed. "You know who I am?"
"Everyone knows the Captain of the Wonderbolts," Celestia said, smiling warmly.
"Raindrop sent me here," Firebrand said immediately, her tone nervous.
"Indeed?" Celestia walked around the table, picking up the stony Element of Honesty, and handing it to Firebrand. "You know what this is?"
Firebrand stared down at the element, and nodded mutely. "Y-you think that I'm the bearer?"
"I trust Raindrop's intuition," Celestia said calmly.
"Shouldn't it like, glow or something...?" Firebrand asked hesitantly.
Celestia nodded once more, "Once you accept its power, it will make itself known."
"A-accept its power?" Firebrand asked uncertainly.
"Tell me, Firebrand... Why do you appreciate honesty?" Celestia asked, leaning down to be more on Firebrand's level, peering into her eyes.
"Appreciate honesty?" Firebrand asked blankly.
Celestia nodded gently, "Indeed. Or, perhaps, why you abhor lies?"
"Lies are evil," Firebrand said with a sniff. "They are a scourge and the world would be better off without them."
"Please, explain why this is so," Celestia urged, watching the young pegasus intently.
"Well... I had two brothers," Firebrand said with a shake of her head.
"Had?" Celestia asked, a note of worry creeping into her tone.
"Had." Firebrand shook her head for a moment, sighing. "A younger brother, and an older brother. My older brother lied to our parents. He told them that he was going to play with his friends, when really, he was sneaking into the rainbow factory alone, to try and gather enough rainbow juice to paint a prank across the sky. He slipped in, though. The pegasus who found him tried to say that it would have been quick and painless... But I heard them speaking amongst themselves later on. They were telling eachother that it would have taken hours, because of the consistency of the rainbow juice. Said that he would have been struggling and calling for help for hours after the sun went down. So while my parents were out questioning all of his friends, he was slowly drowning in the Rainbow Factory, alone."
Celestia gently lifted a hoof to stroke soothingly through Firebrand's mane.
"And my younger brother... He was so young and naive," Firebrand sighed, her head lowering, looking down at the Element of Honesty, a single teardrop spilling onto its surface. "The bullies thought it would be amusing to set up a race course in the clouds. They set one of the rings really low though, so that when you came out of the cloudbank, you'd hit a mountain..."
"That was very disingenuous of them," Celestia said with a deep frown.
"Yeah, especially since when he came out of the cloud bank, he hit the mountain, shattered his wings, and then tumbled down the mountainside for a good three minutes before coming to a stop. He suffered for four hours before dying of blood loss." Firebrand's hooves tightened on the Element of Honesty, and she growled in the back of her throat. "I have never come across a lie that helped anyone, ever. Lies are a coward's way of protecting themselves and harming others, nothing more. And I will not suffer the designs of a coward, or a fool."
Celestia nodded gently, and then wiped a teardrop from Firebrand's cheek, making a soothing sound. The element between Firebrand's hooves began to glow and shift.
"Some consolation prize," Firebrand said bitterly, placing the glowing element back on the table.
Celestia nodded gently. "I'm sorry I had to make you bring all of that up."
"No, no. It's fine," Firebrand said with a shake of her head. "I came to terms with it all a long time ago."
Nodding gently once more, Celestia looked at the three remaining Elements without bearers, and the sixth empty position for the Element of Magic. She already knew who the bearer for the Element of Magic was. But the element itself was out of play. The best unicorn minds hadn't been able to divine its location.
"Please, Firebrand, remain in the castle. You are a target now," Celestia urged.
"I know, Princess Celestia," Firebrand replied simply, and then stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Raindrop slumped faintly as her hooves hit the ground, and she took a shaky few steps towards a bench and collapsed across it wearily. Her wings burned, and her chest hurt. She had just flown back from Cloudsdale, and was sprawling herself across a bench in front of the Canterlot Palace. One thing was for sure about the Wonderbolts, they were a hard group to please.
It was near nightfall, and Raindrop was hungry, sore, and annoyed. Without anything to focus on, she had nothing to do but think. And all she could think about was what Sentinel said. It was depressing, and it made her want to curl up and cry. She didn't love Sentinel. Deep down, she knew it. She liked him, a whole lot. And maybe that would develop into an actual love at a later point. But right now, he was just a handsome pony to rebound from Shine with. Any deeper feelings simply weren't there yet.
Raindrop definitely felt strongly for the guard, but it wasn't love. She owed him her life, several times over. And they had been through so much together, it wouldn't even be surprising if she fell in love with him. But when he had said that to her, she was more concerned about the fact that she couldn't say it in return, and that it would hurt his feelings because of that.
The young pegasus sighed and stretched out on the bench, resting her chin on her forehooves. It was an impossible situation. And she didn't even have anypony to talk about it to. But there was also no espacing it. She would have to face it sooner or later, and given how often her and Sentinel were thrown together, it would be sooner rather than later. What could she tell him? That she wasn't actually in love with him but really really liked him and thought he was a good guy? Everypony knew that was code for 'hey, we're never gonna happen'. And that just wasn't how she felt. She needed more time.
But the look in Sentinel's eyes when she had tried to let him down gently... He was hurt. He might be a Royal Guard. He might have been able to stare down a hydra without fear. But Raindrop knew that she had snuck a blow past his armour and hit him where it hurt. And that was the last thing she wanted.
It was all just so depressing! But as always, Raindrop didn't get sad. She just got annoyed. Anger was a good coping mechanism, it blocked out everything else.
Raindrop pushed open the door to the private room in the Hall of Elements, poking her nose in. Celestia was sitting on her rump, staring up at a blackboard with complicated equations all over it, seemingly at a loss.
"Can't figure something out?" Raindrop queried helplessly.
Celestia nodded to herself, and then looked up at the jumbled writing again, shaking her head slowly. "It is the formula for the magic used to contain the essence of the elements in the Seeker Stones."
"You lost me at 'magic'," Raindrop admitted, slipping into the room and closing the door behind her.
"I must improve this formula so that the Seeker Stone will find the Element of Magic. But it is difficult." Celestia turned around, shaking her head and rubbing a hoof against her eyes. She looked tired, and worn. "I must thank you for finding Firebrand. You have an exceptional intuition for finding those who would be fit as bearers."
"Thanks," Raindrop said with a sheepish smile. "Maybe I'm the Element of Searching or something?"
"It may very well be," Celestia said with a gentle nod. "We now have only four elements remaining. I am quite certain to whom Magic belongs, but Loyalty, Generosity, and Kinjdness, I have no idea about."
Raindrop frowned at that for a moment, "Well, Loyalty is guesswork, since we don't have the Seeker Stone any more... But, I think that maybe... I think Sentinel is the Element of Loyalty."
Celestia raised a brow at that, ears perking. "Truly?"
Raindrop nodded, "I think you should test him."
"That would be pointless at this juncture," Celestia stated firmly.
"...Pointless?" Raindrop asked, confused.
Celestia opened her mouth to respond, but at that moment, the door opened, and Sentinel himself stepped through.
The guard cast his gaze across the two of them, lingering on Raindrop for several long seconds, before he slowly walked up to the table, and placed his helmet upon it. "Princess Celestia, I request a day to myself."
Celestia looked down at her guard for a long moment, before giving a gentle nod, "I shall grant you this."
"Thank you, Princess Celestia," Sentinel said with a salute, and then turned, giving Raindrop another silent glance, before shuffling out of the room.
A silence stretched out for several long seconds as Raindrop stared after the guard, a strange expression on her face.
"You two are emotionally entangled?" Celestia asked, breaking the silence.
Raindrop jerked faintly in surprise, and then blinked once, looking down at her forehooves. "...I guess so, yeah."
"I take it there have been problems?" Celestia queried, looking from Raindrop to the helmet on the table.
The young pegasus was silent for several moments, and then she gave a long sigh. "He told me that he loves me."
"This is not cause for celebration?" Celestia asked, seeming genuinely curious.
"Not really, no. I... don't love him," Raindrop admitted.
"You do not love him, or you do not love him yet?"
"I... I honestly don't know. The last person I gave my heart to basically ripped it out."
Celestia nodded at that, and then gave a wan smile. "Even after millenia of life, I find myself as well-versed in the matters of the heart as I was when I first entered the world."
"Doesn't get easier, huh?" Raindrop asked with a sad smile.
Celestia shook her head apologetically. "I'm afraid it doesn't. The answers are never there to be given. They are to be found."
"I'm not sure I want to find out the answer," Raindrop admitted, shuffling her hooves. "And this sort of tops the 'conversations I didn't think I'd have with a Princess' list."
A soft snort left the princess, and she shook her head. "It is refreshing to think of mundane things during times of strife. It reminds me that the world outside the castle continues onwards without waiting with baited breath for my every decision."
"That's one way of looking at problems, I guess," Raindrop said with a forced smile.
"I am sorry I cannot be of more help," Celestia apologized, lifting a hoof imploringly to punctuate her sentence.
"No, no. As you said, the answers aren't there to be given," Raindrop said with another shake of her head.
A long silence stretched between them, before Raindrop stepped up to the table, and reached for a Seeker Stone. "I would like to chase Kindness, next."
"Think not of it as a chase, and more as an adventure," Celestia suggested.
"I'll try," Raindrop said, turning about to leave.
Celestia opened her mouth to speak, closed it, and then opened it again. "Raindrop?"
Raindrop paused in the doorway, looking over her shoulder, "Yes princess?"
"I am horribly versed in the wiles of the heart... But a wise pony once told me 'Truth is, everypony is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for'."
The young pegasus stared back at the princess for a long moment, before silently slipping out the doorway.
Raindrop frowned deeply as she left the castle, her ears pinned back and eyes on the ground in front of her hooves. She had something to focus on now, but even so, she couldn't get her mind off Sentinel. What Celestia had told her echoed in her mind.
It was the truth, really. No matter who you chose, they were going to hurt you. It was inevitable. She just had to find somepony worth suffering for.
Was Sentinel worth suffering for?
Raindrop honestly couldn't answer the question. She didn't want to see him hurt. She didn't like that she had hurt him. But the further question she had to ask: was she worth suffering for? She couldn't even make her mind up on whether or not she loved him. Maybe it would be better if he gave up on her. She wasn't fit for a normal relationship. She wasn't even a full-blooded pony. She was a monster-cross-pony.
And that just made her feel worse. She was part changeling, Sentinel hated changelings, with a passion. And even with all of that, he still felt that strongly for her. And suddenly, Raindrop felt very small and petty.
Sentinel was in his quiet place. Not in his mind, but literally, his quiet place. There was a hill overlooking a lake, and if he was in the right position, he could gaze at the reflection of the moon and stars in the smooth, perfect surface of the lake. On a clear night, it was like looking through a portal, as though you could jump down into the star-strewn visage and just fall into the sky forever.
It was his favorite place for a night-time excursion. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing he told everypony about, as it wasn't exactly the most masculine thing for a Royal Guard to enjoy. Thus, his surprise at being found.
"You have no idea how hard this place is to find when you're given such vague direction," Raindrop stated with a huff, shaking her wings out and pausing a few steps from the guard.
"How did you find me?" Sentinel asked, without looking up.
"Your Captain knows a lot more about you than you think," Raindrop said with a wry grin.
Sentinel sighed and nodded slightly. The Captain of the Royal Guard was almost eerily aware of his underlings habits.
"I... Wanted to talk to you," Raindrop said, slipping over to him.
"So talk."
Raindrop gently settled herself down beside the guard, and then rested her head on her forehooves, looking at him sideways. "I've been doing some thinking."
"Must have been hard," Sentinel said with a brave attempt at a smile, before wincing, holding up a hoof, "I'm sorry, I'm trying to be cute... But it's just coming out bitter."
A soft smile lit Raindrop's face, and she pressed closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "We've been through a lot."
Sentinel nodded, gently resting his chin atop her muzzle. "Indeed we have."
Raindrop looked up at him for a long moment, letting a silence stretch out between them. She had decided already, that she was going to tell him that she loved him. It wasn't a choice any more. It was time to stop being selfish. Sentinel was worth suffering for, and it was worth her saying a few tiny words to put him at ease and repair some of the pain she had put him through.
"Sentinel, I l-"
Sentinel lifted a hoof, gently placing it over her lips, stopping her words. He stared down into her eyes, and slowly shook his head.
Raindrop tried to protest, but Sentinel shushed her again, still shaking his head.
"No Raindrop," he murmured sadly, looking down at her. "Don't just say it to make me feel better. Wait until you mean it."
Raindrop pulled back with a snort, and then drew herself up, throwing on the facade of being offended. "You presume to be able to read me well enough to know my actions so well?"
Sentinel looked at her sideways for a moment, and then gave a sad smile. "Like an open book."
Raindrop deflated instantly, and then sighed, leaning against him. "I wish I was a good liar."
The guard nodded gently, leaning some of his weight against her in a reassuring fashion. "It means a lot to me that you'd come and find me just to try and lie to me to make me feel better."
"We have no chance of ever having a normal relationship, do we?" Raindrop asked after a moment.
"Would you have it any other way?"
"I can't say I would."
A silence stretched out between them, and after a little while, Sentinel rearranged their bodies so that he could spoon with Raindrop. "I have decided to be content with what I have."
"And what do you have?" Raindrop asked after a moment.
"A fiery, emotionally traumatised, masochistic pegasus whose bloodline includes one of the most feared villains of the last five generations and who has been known to increase her strength to freakish proportions when she's mad, and has a strong proclivity to hit me when I annoy her," Sentinel rattled off blankly.
Raindrop stared up at him for a long moment, and then blinked slowly. "Well, when you put it like that, I sound like a real catch."
Sentinel laughed faintly and nuzzled her gently. "I wouldn't trade you for a princess."
"Because I'd eat your face if you did," Raindrop stated immediately.
"Among other reasons," Sentinel admitted with a smile, giving a sigh and closing his eyes, resting his muzzle against her.
The two ponies lapsed into silence, and Raindrop wiggled back against Sentinel to get more comfortable, laying her chin on an outstretched hoof, staring out into the lake, watching the pristine reflection of the night sky.
Raindrop couldn't even remember what made her fall in love with Shine, or any kind of gradual change in her attitude towards him at all.
'You can't choose who you love.' It was an old saying, and Raindrop didn't even remember where she knew it from. But it was the truth. But why did she love Shine and not Sentinel? Sentinel was superior in every way.
But when Raindrop looked deep inside herself, she already knew the answer. She was scared. Scared that Sentinel would turn into Shine. That Sentinel would look up one day and realise that he had chosen a changeling. She was afraid of getting hurt again. It wasn't even a question of if any more.
Raindrop rolled over, to find the guard dozing against her. She reached up a hoof to gently move a lock of his blonde mane from his face, leaning up to kiss his nose. A gentle push of her hooves against his chest was enough to rouse him, and his eyes blinked open, staring down at her questioningly.
The young pegasus stared up into his eyes for a long moment, and she felt it. Felt it deep inside her. Sentinel looked past her flaws. He understood her on a level that Shine never had a chance of attaining. He was perfect.
If trying to say it before was hard, it was even harder now. Raindrop's hooves wrapped around Sentinel's chest, and she pulled him close against her, burying her head against his chest to try and order her thoughts. It was just so hard to say it. Three tiny words that meant so much.
A lump rose in Raindrop's throat, and she felt inexplicable tears springing into her eyes. She wiped them away hurriedly with a hoof, swallowing hard past the lump, and then clearing her throat, pushing and then pulling at Sentinel uncertainly.
"What is it?" Sentinel asked, gently nuzzling against her.
Raindrop swallowed thickly again, and then buried her face against his chest, feeling her cheeks burning. Her body was just going crazy all of a sudden. It had never been this difficult with Shine. But maybe that was the point? Maybe this was deeper than it had been with Shine?
Feeling her heart trying to smash through her ribcage, Raindrop lifted a shaking hoof to grip Sentinel's muzzle, and then kissed him with furious intent, squeezing him close with her free hoof. After several long moments, when she had been deprived of enough oxygen to calm herself slightly, she drew back and then stared up into his eyes.
It took her three tries to say it, gaping at him like a stupid carp trapped out of water. But then she cleared her throat, and just said it, burying her face to in his chest to avoid his searching gaze,
"I love you."