Jeg elsker deg – A Hockey Hunk Fanfiction
Jeg elsker deg - A Hockey Hunk Fanfiction
I have to say, Gruffy is massive influence to whatever I may write. Only appropriate that I write a fanfiction from his universe to show how much I enjoy his work. So here it is, a fanfiction based on The Hockey Hunk series by Gruffy. Seriously, go check it out at
I'm With the Hockey Hunk . I was a doubter, but I read the first chapter and was instantly hooked. So I hope you enjoy it as well.
Time for the show to begin!
I was waiting for him.
To say I was nervous would have been an understatement.
I wasn't just nervous, I was anxious as hell, my paws quivering slightly, my body shivering, heart going crazy, almost as if I was suffering from a massive panic attack. I felt my breathing rate quicken, myself starting to Hyperventilate for no other reason than dread.
I told myself to breathe, to take it slowly. Remember what they said in that stress management class. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Make sure to keep it slow, not to rush.
A few deep breaths later, I felt a bit better, the tight feeling in my chest having faded slightly, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach still not going away. I clutched tightly onto the mobile in my hand, sat on the firm, red couch that dominated the living room of the dorm.
Fuck, why was I doing this again? Things would probably just get worse between us, my outburst is just going to make him hate me, he's going to tell everyone, and then I'll be known as Mason Stephens, the violent queer.
I took another glance at the phone in my hands, reading and re-reading the message I had sent to him, making sure that it didn't sound too overbearing in my head or too needy, I knew for a fact that I didn't want to screw things up more than I already had.
I could also never forget about Rory. Hell, it was my idea to bring him out on this 'practise date' so I could build up the confidence to show my true feelings towards him and ask the guy I lusted over out. And all I managed to do was ruin his evening, one that would probably have been used for a more productive purpose. And then, a few days later, Marge told me he'd been in an accident with his friend. Fuck, my pain can't even compare to his, and I'm still moping around like a whimpering dog.
Jessica, that wolf that He was with. She probably hates me now, or thinks I'm some kind of lunatic. Lovely first impressions when I punch her probable boyfriend in the muzzle then run off. But damn, I was so angry when I saw Him with her. I didn't think He was interested, but seeing Him with that other wolf just made my hackles rise, I felt betrayed.
And finally, Haakon Kjerulf, the sexy Norwegian lynx who had become my best friend and, more recently, the object of my desire. Fantastic way of showing affection for him wasn't it? A clenched paw in the face and a knee in the chest. I would be lucky if he didn't chew me up and spit me out after he'd done with me. God, why was I such a dumbass?
Damn it, why the hell did I have to try and deck him. All he's done is have the misfortune of being unknowingly liked by a wolf, one who was trying desperately to keep up a façade of being straight as it were. After all he did for me, helping me with my Scandinavian work, honing my linguistic skills, helping me with that bloody Beckett costume I wore for the Caledon Rocks release, just being a great friend in general. And I treated him like a cheat.
I knew that things would never be the same between us. Our friendship had gone for the worse and I don't even know if he'd be willing to talk to me again. But I just really had to get my feelings out to him. If not now then I'd probably never summon up the courage to do so.
I grumbled to myself, desperate to get it over with. But I wasn't even sure whether he'd come. I don't even know where he had gone for the past week, after that night. I was just anxiously waiting a text that might not even come, from someone who might not even want to speak....
*BEEP BEEP*
My heart starts pounding as I hear the unmistakable tone of my iPhone, that disturbing omen that signified I had a message. Trying to relax, I bring my phone up from my lap and unlock it, desperate to read the message that had been sent.
'K. Nt ngry at u Mase
jst wnt an explnation.
Cya in bout hour.
Haakon
And the tension was relieved slightly. I only noticed after I had finished reading the message that I'd held my breath the entire time it was in front of me. My hopes about the situation had raised considerably, knowing now that Haakon wasn't angry at me. To be honest, I'm surprised. I thought the Lynx would be seriously pissed about the fact that I'd ruined his date and gave him an impromptu clenched paw to the face.
An hour.
Fuck, I could hardly wait that long. Tension was beginning to build up inside me again, and I wasn't sure how I'd be able to cope when Haakon finally arrived.
Screw it, this called for the internet.
Hopping off the couch, I walked over to the kitchen top, where my laptop rested, and decided to take it in hand and sit back on the couch while I surfed the web.
Booting it up quickly, I logged in on my profile, looking briefly at the icon of the hunky Lynx that was Haakon's profile image, then looking back as it completed loading.
I booted up Firefox, because, seriously, what kind of self-respecting nerd uses Explorer, and instantly browsed over some of my bookmarked pages.
Deciding that it was probably the best course of action, I loaded up Reddit, mainly with the intention of calming myself down by reading about life stories, and maybe browsing the Caledon Rocks subreddit.
As I looked over the different posts, I cringed greatly a the desperate amount of fanfiction that had been written, I mean seriously. Argon and Annette? I shuddered at the thought of those two characters getting steamy in a bed together, not a pleasant thought. I looked over some of the other posts, and, seeing as there was nothing that was interesting and new, I decided that there was still more of the Internet to explore.
I decided to check quickly on Facebook for anything fairly interesting. I managed to see a picture of Haakon on there, standing next to a fairly hot Doberman, one who seemed familiar. Then it hit me, it was probably that guy from his Hockey Team. What was his name again? Victor? Anyway, definitely hot, probably taken by someone. Nothing wrong with a bit of eye-candy though.
After a few more moments ogling at both the Doberman and the extremely sexy Norwegian Lynx, I closed the tab, a voice in my head reminding me that talking to Haakon with a boner showing against my jeans was an awful idea.
Twenty minutes to go now.
I grumbled, desperate to find things to do to pass the time. There was nothing new for me to read on Reddit, and there was nothing on Tumblr either. And call me a shit gay guy, but I didn't really feel involved in any of the GSM communities online, I just didn't ever have the overwhelming urge to suddenly participate or concern myself with issues only slightly relating towards me.
I thought about pawing off to relieve some of my tension, but then realised he'd probably walk in on me with my pants between my legs and a couple of digits in my ass and never talk to me again. That was off the list.
Reading? Nah, I'd read like every book that I had about four times, and it starts to get boring once you know the plot off by heart. And that left me with no options but to just wait for the moment and think.
What did I actually plan on saying to him? Oh hey Haakon, I'm sorry that I punched you, but it's actually because I'm really in love with you? That'd go down really well.
I mentally slapped myself for being so cynical, and I told myself to think things through logically. I had to explain myself, most definitely. What I did to him was inexcusable, and deserved an explanation. I also had to tell him the inescapable truth, That I had feelings for as more than a friend, otherwise I could never bring myself to do it. I might lose him as a friend, but then at least the truth would be out.
Ten minutes now.
I kept glancing over at the clock, counting down the seconds until the time he said he'd be here around. I close my laptop and put it towards the side, getting up at the same time, stretching my failing limbs and scratching my muzzle. I began to pace back and forth across the room, paws behind my back, growing mad slowly as I waited for the tell-tale sound of someone at the door.
It was time.
I glanced over at the clock, my heart starting to beat even faster as I noticed it was around the time he'd said he'd be here. Hearing nothing of the sort of another fur at my door, I walked over to the window, taking a peak outside for the familiar sight of that hunk of Norwegian meat.
As I drew back from the glass, having seen nothing, I heard the clear sound of someone inserting their key into the door. I slightly recalled having given Haakon a spare of my key in case anything goes wrong or if he just wanted to come and join me for some impromptu enjoyment.
My chest tightening, I turned towards the door as the handle was brought down, allowing it to move forward upon it's hinges to reveal the very Lynx that I was anticipating behind it.
I saw him look at me as he closed the door, putting his wallet on the table beside him, eyes directly on me, that face not giving away any of his emotions as it felt as if he was staring deep into me.
It was I who was the first to speak.
'Haakon. Th-thanks for coming.' Shit. Damn my nerves. He'd only been in the room for five seconds and I already couldn't talk properly.
'Well. It's obvious there's something wrong, isn't there Mason.' God damn, that accent. So strong, so beautiful. His words, however, worried me slightly.
'H-how come?' I was anticipating a verbal bollocking now, detailing everything I did wrong and how he never wanted to see me again in his life.
'You didn't greet me as you usually do.' His emotionless expression was replaced by a slight smile, one that could mean anything. 'You never greet me in English unless there's a problem.'
Damn, he had me there. It had always been a little thing we did, mainly to help with my linguistic skills, and I never usually forgot to do it. Guess the stress was affecting me more than I thought.
'Yeah. Well...' I paused a second. Did I want to drop him into this or start slowly? I decided on slowly. '...I guess you can say that.' Christ, this was much harder than I thought.
'Look, Mason, I knew something was wrong before I walked in the door. It's not every day my best friend sends me a text saying 'I need to see you badly, I have some things I need to say to you.' is it?' He recited my text perfectly, making me wince as he phrased it, it sounding desperately clingy to my ears.
'It-it's true. It's just...' I took a deep breath, preparing to initiate the topic. '...I want to a-apologise for what happened that night.' I stammered. There, that was one of the cats out of the proverbial bag. Now just to find the best opportunity to bring up the other 'cat' in this situation.
'Look dude, I'm not angry. Hell, I probably know why you decked me. And damn, that kneeing of your hurt!' He chuckled slightly before continuing. 'But first, I kinda wanna know, why were you there with that co-worker of yours? Rory is it?' Him knowing my reasons for punching him could come slightly later. Now, there was something else I needed to address.
'Yeah, I k-kinda hate to admit it but, I kinda asked him to go on like a practise date with me, you know, to get me prepared for the real thing.' There, that was explained, and hopefully he didn't go all 20 Questions on my ass about it.
'Heh, is my little Mason a bit afraid of asking chicks out?' I began to blush. 'Ah, don't worry mate, it's fine. I won't press you on it anyway. But seriously, I probably know why you hit me.' He gave me a knowing smile. Now my curiosity was piqued, did he actually know about what I was going to say?
'Oh really? Pray tell, what that may be?' Heh, even if he didn't know, he'd probably have a humorous explanation for it.
'It was Jessica wasn't it? I thought I saw you had your eye on her, and you probably just got a bit jealous of me.' A smug smile came across his face, just as my own dropped. What? Oh no, he had it completely fucking wrong. He'd gotten the opposite of what I wanted.
'Yeah, she is fairly hot, but, you know what they say, First come, First served.' Oh god, this was the last thing I needed, all this did was make my job harder. I needed to stop this before it grew out of control.
'Err, Haakon. Th-that actually wasn't why I did it.' Okay, let's start him off small. Ease him into the bombshell of, 'I want to screw you' was dropped.
'Oh come on mate, you don't have to lie to me. I know you wanted a bit of that nice tail. Ah well, too bad she was busy being a bit of a bitch the last week and mouthing you off at every opportunity. I decided she wasn't worth it.' He scratched his back, an abashed expression coming over his face. He broke up with her? Now that was a surprise.
'R-really?' I stammered, giving him a curious look.
'Yeah, neither of us really have a chance with her now. Ah well, as you Americans say, there are more fish in the sea, eh?' Oh god, I really needed to set him straight. Well, not exactly straight, per se.
'S-seriously man, she wasn't the reason. You've got it all wrong. You see...' Before I could even explain, he began a hearty chuckle, an expression of mirth coming across his face.
'Oh come off it Mason, don't be ashamed to admit that you thought she was sexy.' Fucking hell, I was seriously mad now. It was just like he lived in a bubble of fucking ignorance to the world around him.
'I wasn't fucking jealous of you being with her!' My voice had increased in volume, my stammering disappearing, my anger at his inability to listen evident in the tone of my voice. Haakon stopped laughing and a frown came across his face as he started to walk closer to me, my own legs mirroring him in reverse, taking steps backwards in sync with him, a slight fear beginning to come over me.
'Then why the hell did you start that shit with me Mase?' His tone of voice had dropped to somewhere between curiosity and anger, the forcefulness making me take another step back, my movement suddenly stopped with the slight impact of my body against the wall.
'Because I was jealous of her!' I felt my eyes starting to wet slightly, the slightest of tears beginning to farm at my exhasted attempts to get him to understand what I was trying to say.
'What do you mean Mason?' He looked at me purely with curiosity now, him being only a few feet away from me, staring directly at me.
'You want to know why I was jealous of her, huh?' I chuckled miserably, taking a moment to wipe my eyes before I told him. 'I'm a fucking queer. I'm a fucking queer and I'm in love with you. That's why.' The last words came out as a mere whisper, my voice too weak to continue. My cheeks were slightly sodden now, my fur being matted with salty tears as I bare my heart to him.
He takes a step closer to me and, without warning, he puts his hands on my shoulders, pushing me against the wall. I breathe deeply, waiting for the pummelling I am sure to receive from the person who I felt was my friend. I looked up at him, staring directly into those beautiful eyes.
'Go on, punch me. That's what you want to do isn't? Punch my faggy ass to the ground and leave me here.' I resigned myself to the fate and steeled myself.
'Mason. Du jævla idiot¹.' I was confused as he lapsed into Norwegian, not expecting an outburst of the sort at that moment in time.
I was even more confused when he locked his muzzle with mine and began to kiss me.
Not that I was complaining of course, and since I felt there had to be reasoning or this so I let myself get immersed in the sensations. The joining of our tongues, his forceful exploration of my mouth, my tentative scouting of his. He brought his arms down and proceeded to hold me in a full hug, allowing us to explore each other's respective bodies with our paws, his forceful, mine tentative. I went under his shirt with my paws, he brought his towards my ass giving it a nice squeeze.
I just felt so comfortable within his arms, a sense of security and stability washing over me as he allowed my fears of rejection to wash away. The feeling of his muzzle against mine, our noses touching together in a show of affection for each other. I felt waves of untold emotion and understanding, finally realising he would never have left me, even if he wasn't attracted to me, he was much too kind of a person to do that/
After around a minute of this, I move my muzzle back slightly and smile up at him, happiness flooding me as he returns it. I have hundreds of questions for him, but I guessed that my first had to be...
'Why?' My voice was soft, not with fear of pain, but fear of having to make this moment end. He looked directly at me and chuckled, as if my question was the most stupid thing I could have ever asked.
'Because I've always had feelings for you. You've just been, let's see, too blind to see it.' As he says it to my face, my expression becomes awash with feelings of sudden clarity. I could see everything he did now; helping me with my Norwegian, spending so much time with me, bringing us to...
'The Ramrod...' I paused, suddenly realizing that I had said that out loud. A slight blush comes over me, embarrassment very plain to see, but Haakon just gave me one of those amazingly cute smiles and ruffled my headfur.
'Exactly. I brought you there to see how you would react to the idea of gay males, just as a slight introduction to the prospect of us two.' He grabbed hold of my right paw. 'But unfortunately, you didn't seem that interested at all, so I wrote you off as a straight friend.'
'Heh, to be truthful, that was kind of the first time I ever thought about you in that way...' I admitted, my tail twitching a bit as I recalled those nights afterwards, the questioning of my sexuality, the sudden sinking in, and then the many nights of fantasizing and watching porn. My trail of thoughts was then interrupted, however, by the sighs of an impatient lynx, obviously wanting to say more. Blushing slightly, I continued.
'Yeah... After that, I started thinking about whether it was just a one-off thing, that I was still straight, but then I realized that I didn't really see muh in girls like the rest of my friends, you included.' I nodded in his direction.
'Aww, come on, you can't blame me for being bisexual can you?' He pouted, making me chuckle, something I hadn't actually done for a while. I shushed him, and leaned in for another quick kiss, it soon devolving into a sloppy make-out session, Somehow, while we were distracted by each other's muzzles, we had manoeuvred around the room, ending up at the couch and, surprising me, Haakon fell back onto it, dragging me with him. As we landed, we shared a slight giggle, it sounding slightly alien from his muzzle, with him then putting his arm around my head, bringing it down to rest on his, unfortunately still clothed, chest.
He smiled up at me, his eyes full of warmth, as I returned the gesture, a much subtler movement coming across my muzzle as I nuzzled against him, feeling warm against him.
'We definitely should have done this earlier.' His sudde declaration took me by surprise, but after a couple of seconds, I nodded.
'Yeah.' I continued my light rubbing of his chest with my head, asking him something as I continued. 'Hey Haakon, ya think you can take this shirt of yours off? I want some actual fur to snuggle up to.' Giving a light rub of my head, he pulled me off his chest for a moment, allowing him to unbutton and take off the restricting fabric, then lying back down so that I could continue using him as a makeshift pillow.
'That better, wolfy?' The pet name was unexpected, but not unwanted. It made me feel cute and adorable, a little bundle of fuzz that was loved. I nodded, both in answer to the question and in approval of the name.
As we continued staying like this, I began to think, leading to one of my major worries about what had happened. I tried to keep it inside, but it began to eat at my good feelings, and I knew I had to voice it, otherwise we would get into a misunderstanding.
'Haakon. What do we tell other people? About us that is.' I looked at him, his eyes not at all losing that deep warmth they had while looking at me, it beginning to melt those fears and doubts that had begun to build up inside me.
'It depends on what you want. We can be out and proud, or we can just keep it on the low-down for now. All you have to do is say what you want.' I thought hard about it. I wanted to be out badly, to be able to announce I wasn't a loveless fool, but I knew that, even in this day and age, people still weren't that accepting of us gays. I knew there were people like Professor Faye who did nothing to hide it, but, I hated to say it, I wasn't confident enough yet. I was worried about what the people at work would think. And so I decided.
'Let's not tell anyone yet. Maybe after I gain a bit of confidence, but until then... I hate to admit it, but I'm scared.' He gave me a reassuring hug, signifying that he didn't really care.
'Don't worry, fear is good in small amounts., but when it is a constant companion, it cuts away at who you are and makes it hard for you to do what you know is right.' I smiled for a moment, then facepawed.
'Did you really have to quote that Paolini book? I know Inheritance was good, but seriously.' He grinned at my recognition of his literary reference.
'Come on dude, I've been waiting ages to be able to use that. He smiled lightly at me and pulled me up to him, allowing us to end up face-to-face. After a moment of just smiling, we resumed our previous make-out session with each other, tongues and paws exploring wherever they could reach, our groins joining as well, our crotches, evident arousal stemming from them, grinding up against each other.
All I could think about was how much I wanted to get in bed with Haakon, his entire body just so tantalizing, those hips, that ass. It's like his body was just begging for me to make a move. But then I realised that I didn't have anything that we needed to perform the dirty deed. I decided that I'd voice my concerns after this deliciously sloppy kiss had ended.
Minutes later, he had finally run out of the energy he needed to keep locking on to my muzzle, and it was then I felt I needed to pop the question.
'Err, Haakon....' I paused, unable to say the words I had in my head, the crudeness of them feeling inappropriate, even in this context.
'I know what you're thinking.' He gave me a smirk. 'Not here, unless you have an exhibitionist streak, too many windows.' I gave him an exasperate look, glaring at him as he chuckled heartily at his own quip, my defences eventually succumbing, allowing me to laugh in unison with him.
After I managed to calm down a bit, I said what I was thinking, except this time, it didn't sound exactly as crude.
'I mean, what should we do about sex? I don't have anything that I assume we need. Do you?' I voiced the last question, semi-hopeful that he did, as I felt my arousal heightening, the musk given off by the both of us almost impenetrable, the smell overpowering.
'Eh, unfortunately, I don't either. And never would I plan on doing it without either condoms or lube. I may seem like a sex-crazed lynx. I am! But never would I compromise someone's safety because of it. I care more about your health than sex.' I was touched. At least until he added something else on. 'And besides, if I take good care, that means I can have second helpings.' His grin widened as my blush deepened, the idea of that hot lynx behind me making my jeans almost uncomfortably tight.
'But, however...' He added, making me interested in what he was going to say. 'The store's still open. I can probably pick some stuff up and get back here within ten minutes, give or take a few depending on how slack-jawed the clerk is when I buy it.' He purred lightly, obviously aroused by his own idea. 'And then we can have some, celebratory sex, as it were.'
Hot.
Hot.
HAWT!
I gave off a throaty murr, desperately wanting that promised 'celebratory sex' that was on the table. I decided to get up off him, giving him a light peck on the lips, and allowed him to get ready to go out.
'You do that, love. I'll be busy in the bedroom, waiting for you to come back. And you better not disappoint me.' He managed to stand up quickly, giving me a salute and mouthing, 'sir yes sir' and moving to grab his wallet.
'Haakon Kjerulf, you know something?' He gave me a curious look, indicating for me to go on. I quickly cleared my throat to speak. 'Jeg elsker deg².' I saw him beam at me, his delight at having said it in his native language obviously pleasing him.
'Well, Mason Stephens...' He began, smiling widely at me. 'Jeg tror jeg elsker deg også jeg³.'
¹ Du jævla idiot - You fucking idiot.
² Jeg elsker deg. - I love you.
³ Jeg tror jeg elsker deg også jeg - I think I love you too.