The Eye - Part 1
The Eye
Part 1 - Gaze Deep
The futon was still folded out, blankets and pillows littered about across it, but the red panda who should have been asleep amongst them wasn't there. This wasn't unusual, though. Even if it weren't inching past noon - more than late enough for him to be awake - Jun had taken up the habit of not staying the whole night on the futon, anyway.
He'd been living with his best friend, Kei, for a few weeks now: moved from cities away and not yet able to find a job in the area. And every morning, when Kei woke and left for work, the red panda would shortly vacate the futon and, with the permission of his host, occupy the newly empty and far more comfortable bed.
Certainly, awake or no, that's where Jun was this Friday afternoon, as well.
Kei, meanwhile, had stopped by the apartment on his lunch break. Usually, the dog wouldn't have bothered with the drive, since there were more than enough places to snatch a bite to eat near his work. Over the last few weeks, though, he'd been making a habit of dropping by to check on his guest.
And so, the lithe, golden Shiba Inu, short moments past noon, returned to his apartment. In his living room, his futon was still folded out and strewn with bedding, but Jun was not there. So he passed on through and to the door to his bedroom, where he would undoubtedly find his friend.
Kei pushed open the door, peeking his tan muzzle inside, "Jun? You up?" He pushed the door open, following his muzzle through.
On the bed, Jun sat awake atop the blankets, his red, black, and white fur shamelessly exposed before his friend, save for what lay hidden behind his boxers. With a nod, he turned his eye on the somewhat expected intruder. "Yeah, I'm just...uhm..." he searched the bedside for a moment, before unconvincingly plucking a small, unopened, paperback book from the nightstand, "...just reading."
Kei noted the lack of a bookmark, but moved along, "How're you feeling today?"
"Better, I guess?" The red panda's white muzzle curled into a half-hearted smile as he tried his best to sell the lie, "I made it through the day without crying, so far."
The darkened patches under his friend's eyes said otherwise, but Kei just nodded, letting him lie, "And how many times have you looked at the picture?"
"I can honestly say I haven't looked at Minori's picture once." Jun smiled more earnestly; that, at least, was true.
"Yeah..." The Shiba's voice drew out through the word in an almost playfully condescending tone, were it not darkened by the more somber subject at hand, "...but I didn't mean her picture...I meant his."
"Oh..." Jun deflated at that, his attempts at feigning strength washing away as he turned his eyes on a photograph lying face down on the bed beside him.
Kei closed the gap between them, approaching the bed and picking up the photo, where he turned it in his fingers, "We should really throw this thing away." Staring back at him from the picture was the stark black, white-encircled face of a young Birman cat.
"Waste of your time." As he spoke, the red panda cautiously eyed the photograph, "I already dug it out of the trash once."
"Then maybe I should burn it, this time."
Jun sat up straighter, knowing better than to doubt the dog, "It's all I've got left of him, Kei."
"Jun, this is just a picture; it isn't Shin." The Shiba waved it at his friend, "All it is is a reminder of bad memories. It may be all you have, but all it's good for now is hurting you."
Jun only looked away, "Just...please don't do this right now, okay?"
"I'm only trying to help."
The red panda didn't dispute that, but neither did he back down, "Did I ever tell you that...that I was talking to people about Shin...? I mean, before Minori left me, I..." He took a breath, collecting his thoughts so he could clarify, "I was trying to find out what steps I needed to take to legally adopt him."
"No..." Kei glanced at the picture again, "You hadn't told me that."
"It's weird: I never thought of myself as a dad, y'know? I never wanted kids..."
"Yeah, I know."
"But...Shin was my son, Kei. More mine than he ever was to the cat that knocked up Minori. I just..." Jun's knees were drawn up, his paws atop them, fingers nervously kneading his flesh through the black fur there, "I just want to keep the picture a little longer."
The dog wanted to leave it at that and to be gentle about this...but he always had been stubborn when he thought he knew what was best for his friend. "Jun...does it ever actually make you feel better when you look at it?"
The answer, of course, was no. That was why Kei asked, and it was why Jun refused to respond. Instead, he tensed up, frustrated and angry as the question backed him into a corner, "So what!?" He finally spoke, snapping at his friend, "I'm supposed to just let him go?"
"I don't mean to be mean..." Kei responded quietly, as if a softer tone would weaken the sting of his words, "...but he's already gone. They both are. They're not coming back, and this picture doesn't change that."
"I...I know...I just..." The red panda admitted in defeat, "Just don't laugh, okay? But I...I'm scared I'll forget his face."
"You might be better off if you did." Kei sat the picture aside, face down, on the nightstand, "But I'll leave it be for now."
Jun shook his head through something not unlike a laugh, "Gonna' try again tomorrow, though?"
"Ever known me to give up?"
Jun shook his head again with a shrug, but didn't bother to answer. The dog met that with his own silent gesture - a nod - before gingerly hopping onto the bed beside the red panda. Ankles crossed, and paws laced on his chest, Kei lay stretched out beside his friend, eyes on the ceiling. In his head, he mulled over a word or two worth saying, but in the end he left them there. They would be of no more comfort than his company, and if Jun wanted to talk, Kei would have no need to initiate it.
"I have absolutely never hurt this bad, Kei." The red panda proved him right.
"I dunno," Kei turned only his eyes on his friend, "I seem to remember a time or two."
"They weren't like this. I...I don't know...maybe it's because of Shin, but..." Jun glanced at the still facedown photo, "This one's a lot worse. And it's funny, too, yknow? What's that song? The first cut is the deepest?" He pointed emphatically at his friend, "That song is bull shit. Each time seems to hurt worse than the last." He paused clarify that generality, "...in my experience anyway."
"Well, no matter what, you'll always have me." The Shiba flashed a smile, perhaps wider than appropriate, but meant only as a comfort...
...and Jun returned it in kind, "I always do."
Silence crept up again, but it was only for a moment...as the red panda had had more than enough of that when he was left on his own.
"You uhm..." Jun began, "You've been pretty tightlipped about how things have been going for you, lately. I know things didn't end well with-"
"I don't even want to hear his name." The dog cut him off.
"Fair enough." Jun held up his paws in mock surrender, "Meet anyone new, since then? I understand if you're trying to keep it quiet out of respect for what I've been going through, but..."
"Oh no, it's not that. Since him, I've met plenty!" Kei counted off on his fingers, numbers he didn't say aloud, "Slept with a few...had some dates...but nothing's been working out."
"Why not?"
"Same as always! Same as it was with...him. Same stubbornness, and disagreements...same fights and incompatibility." Kei leaned up on his elbows, "I swear; I can't seem to find anyone but you that I can get along with!"
"Oh, I know the feeling!" The red panda assured his canine friend, "I can't count the number - and you wouldn't believe the number if I could - of fights I had with Minori where I thought: 'Why can't she just handle this shit like Kei would?' I mean, is it really so hard to respect my fucking opinion on something?"
"Well of course it is!" Kei scoffed, "Respecting your opinion might sound like admitting hers was wrong!"
Jun scoffed in kind, "Well now, how could anything sound like that? I'm the only one of us who ever did anything wrong."
"No shit! Really?" In an over exaggerated display, the Shiba sat up completely, arms spread in feigned shock, "What a coincidence! I always seem to be the sole cause of my relationship woes, too! Go figure."
Jun laughed half-heartedly and shook his head, then paused for a moment before continuing in a more solemn tone, "You know what I really think made her finally leave me?"
Kei calmed his theatrics and turned to face his friend, "What's that?"
The red panda flashed a dark smirk, "When I finally told her that she needed to handle things like you would."
"You didn't!"
"I did!" Jun's eyes spread wider at the memory, "You know the example we always use when we're talking to each other?"
"Yeah: from when we were living together, before Minori," the dog confirmed. "That friend of yours was pissing me off, and I yelled at her. So you got mad at me, 'cause you didn't like me yelling at your friends."
"Right. I wanted you to come and talk to me about it first, and let me handle it if it was one of my friends." Jun pointed at Kei, "But you thought that you had every right to yell at her if you wanted, so long as she was in your apartment."
"Our apartment," Kei corrected him.
"Right." The red panda nodded, "And did we ever agree?"
"No!" Kei recoiled as if in disgust, "It's bullshit. I should be able to yell at whoever I want in my own damned living room."
"But did you ever do it again?"
"To any of your friends? Not once." The Shiba shook his head with a dismissive shrug, "All that would do was upset you, and there was no point in that. I'm not too proud to acquiesce to avoid a fight."
"Me either."
"I know. You've done it for me a few times, too."
"But that was never something Minori could understand." Jun held up his open, empty paws in frustration, "It didn't matter what I agreed to do for her! She could just never be happy, unless I also agreed that her opinion was completely right and mine was wrong!"
"So you told me." Kei returned to the tale at hand, "And so you finally told her that story?"
"Well...to be fair, I yelled it at her." The red panda's gaze and shoulders dropped at the thought of the argument and the break-up that followed, "Maybe it would have been best if I'd just kept my mouth shut."
"It wouldn't have helped anything," Kei reassured him of the less-than-optimistic truth. "The outcome would have still been the same...maybe just a little longer to get to."
"I know." Jun didn't look up, and simply lifted his paws to hold his forehead, "It would really be nice if either one of us could find someone - just one person - that we got along with like we do one another."
"Yeah!" The dog laughed and nudged his friend, hoping to lighten the mood, "Too bad I'm not a girl, huh?"
Jun raised his head at that, managing at least a short laugh, "If only."
"You could always pretend," Kei winked, nudging his friend again, but softer and almost sensually.
The red panda didn't react as the Shiba Inu expected, though. He'd expected another laugh, or an attempt, even if half hearted, to play along and pretend: to joke about their imaginary secret sex life, as they had for years. What he got was something entirely different.
Jun didn't retreat from the nudge, of course, or look angry, or disgusted, or even annoyed with his friend. Instead, he grew silent and thoughtful. His brow contorted and his entire demeanor changed, becoming someone decidedly unlike the Jun who Kei knew: his normal self-confidence giving way to an uncomfortable, reserved, and nervous red panda that the dog didn't recognize.
Jun exhaled quickly and heavily, steeling himself before he spoke, "You remember Kaori, right? Senior year?"
Kei considered asking about Jun's change in attitude for a moment, but decided to let his friend explain it on his own, if he wanted, "Yeah, I remember Kaori. That was one of those 'time or two' I mentioned earlier."
"I figured it was." Wringing his paws together, the red panda nodded shortly, but immediately continued, "But, uhm...there's something I never told you about that break up. Something kind of embarrassing."
"Since when have you been embarrassed to tell me anything? I know everything about you." Kei laughed dismissively, "Hell, we even know each other's fetishes."
"Oh, I haven't forgotten." Jun turned a stern eye on his friend, "And you're still a sick bastard!"
"Neither have I..." the Shiba eyed him back with a wide, white smile, "...and you're still absolutely precious!"
"Anyway..." Jun coughed and continued, "...so, after Kaori and I broke up, I got caught up in all that bullshit at school with...uhm..." he paused, drawing a blank, "...what was her name? The tigress?"
"The one who stalked you...or the one who stalked me?"
"No, no...the one who lied to me about her boyfriend hurting her, to get attention."
"Oh!" Kei snapped his fingers but then shook his head, "I don't remember her name."
The red panda just shrugged and continued on, "Well, either way, all that shit was coming to a head at school, right? And in the middle of it all, I'm at home one day..." He fidgeted anxiously, unsure with continuing, but pressed on, regardless, "I was already upset about Kaori and the tigress...and when I got home, my mother and sister were at each other's throats over something stupid. I don't even remember what. And I was just sitting there in the kitchen seething! Between my family, Kaori, the girls before her, and the tiger girl - hell, all three tiger girls now that you mention the other two - I was literally..." He stopped and looked his friend right in the eye, "...and I mean literally, 'cause I'm not joking, even a little bit. I was ready to give up on females, forever! I was to the point that hated every last one of 'em. You could have shown me the girl of my fucking wet dreams and you couldn't have convinced me, right then, that even she was worth a damn."
"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Kei offered a hesitant smile, "That's like half the world you're talking about."
"Maybe...but it didn't feel all that 'harsh' at the time. And, after Minori," Jun glanced at the picture of Shin and then back, "...it doesn't really feel like it, right now, either."
"I guess I can't blame you, there."
"But anyway, the point is..." Jun popped his fingers as he steeled himself, again, to continue, "I'm sitting there seething, right? And so I finally just gave up. I thought to myself that there'd never been a female who'd treated me right, or shown me even close to the same amount love I showed them. I couldn't think of one that didn't play bitchy little emotional games or expect a bunch of respect from me that she could never be bothered to return..." He paused and smiled guiltily as he finally made it to his 'punch line,' as-it-were, "...and right after that, just like in my fights with Minori...I thought of you."
The dog smiled back, not quite catching what he meant, yet, "Back then, too, huh?"
Jun continued as if Kei hadn't said a word, "Right then, it all hit just me, and I was certain that I would never find a girl..." he punctuated the word by looking his friend in the eye again, "...who could make me happy."
Looking back, Kei's eyes widened, "But you realized...that I did make you happy?"
The red panda confirmed only with a nod as he prefaced what he had to say next, "I uhm...I don't want to exaggerate the timeframe here...because I want you to really understand how long it was." He looked up at the ceiling, appraising the memory to make sure he got it right, "It had to be close to half an hour. For thirty minutes, I just sat there with my phone in my paw trying to get up the nerve to call you. I felt like the only way I could get away from all that shit and finally be happy with someone...was if I turned gay." Despite all the buildup, when he finally said it, it came casually and matter-of-factly, with only a jovial relief in his voice at being able to finally tell his friend the truth, "And there was no one else I knew - even with all the other gay guys we knew at the time - who I would have even considered trying it with, other than you."
"Wow." Kei grinned proudly, "But, what stopped you?"
"I just couldn't get past the sex!" Jun laughed aloud, his first earnest laugh - when sober at least - in weeks, "I almost had myself convinced that I could fuck a guy or let one suck my dick...because, I mean...a hole's a hole, right? But, I didn't figure that I could make that fly for very long. I mean, eventually you'd want me to do something for you, too...and the thought of a dick getting stuck..." he pointed awkwardly toward his muzzle and then hips, "...anywhere in me, was just something I couldn't be okay with. Hell, it even makes me uneasy to think about having a dick in my paw!" He paused, clarifying that after considering it for a second, "...well, other than my own dick, anyway."
"Well I'm flattered nonetheless!" The Shiba sat up higher, teeth bared and chest swelled, "And if you ever get over those little road blocks..." He winked.
"Yeah. Don't get your hopes up." Jun smirked dismissively before continuing his story, "But anyway, I just couldn't do it. So I resigned myself to a life with females...just like my fucking dick wanted. Still, though, in every fight I've had, with every girl I've dated...I've still thought: 'Kei and I would handle this so much better.' But some things just aren't meant to be, I guess."
"Too bad, too." Kei leaned forward, tilting his head and looking down at his friend's hips, "You've got a really nice ass. And it is in desperate need of somebody tapping it!"
"Oh, and I am a firebrand in the sack!" The red panda looked the dog over with a cartoonishly exaggerated lustful eye, "You have no clue what you're missing!"
"Of course I do!" Kei tapped the wall beside the bed, "Our old apartment had pretty thin walls, remember."
"That it did. Which is how I know you're no slouch, either."
"I try."
"You know what?" Jun smiled, a bit of confidence and certainty returning to his eyes, "I think maybe it's just time that I just swear off girls altogether, for a while. Just enjoy being a bachelor for once and focus on spending my time with the people who matter. You know...with you!" He motioned his paws at his friend, "I think that's what I need: to just sit around here getting drunk and letting it just be me and you for a while. We'd be kind of like boyfriends...but without all the sex."
The dog held up his paws in surrender, "No complaints here. You do whatever you want." He stopped, though, shaking his head as he amended: "So long as you don't expect me to swear off guys."
"Well, of course not! One of us has to be able to get laid!"
~
Hours later, Kei found himself downtown, pushing open the door to a small, ornate shop.
Over his lunch break, he had grabbed a quick snack at his apartment before returning to work: a job that he would have enjoyed implicitly were it not for a couple of female coworkers who he now wished he'd never told he was gay. He had little interest in being their movie-stereotyped-gay-friend, and he was finding it much harder to explain that to them, now, than he had found it to tell them that he was gay to begin with.
It was a small enough complaint, though, for an office job, which he otherwise loved.
When the Shiba Inu got off for the day, his first stop would usually be his apartment. Today was different, though. He'd been making great strides with helping Jun through his break-up with Minori, and he was determined to continue. What better way, he decided, than a gift?
And there just to happened to be a store downtown frequented by goths, hipsters, new agers, would-be hippies...and Jun. It billed itself as a shop for the occult, the mystic, the magical, and the paranormal. Kei was never completely sure why Jun was so drawn to it, but the red panda had more than a few items from the store, in the way of decorations, accessories, and books.
So why not get him one more? The only way Kei could go wrong was if he got something Jun already had...but the dog felt he knew his friend's collection well enough to avoid such a mistake.
Kei pushed open the door and made his way into the cluttered labyrinth of oddities and smoking incense. He remembered the first time he came here with Jun, and how he told his friend it smelled like a head shop. And he also remembered Jun telling him that that was appropriate enough...since it was also a head shop.
Behind the counter, today, was a fox. He was striking and memorable, which Kei found odd, since he couldn't remember ever having seen him before. His fur was bright and skewed just barely off color. What should have been a reddish-orange was shifted redder instead...almost purple, in fact. Whether it was dyed or just discolored under the store's lighting, Kei couldn't be sure, but his fur wasn't what most caught the dog's attention. It was the fox's eyes. They were bright and wide - almost as wide as his smile - and he was staring right at the Shiba Inu who'd entered his shop.
"Dog! Welcome!" The fox chirped loudly and cheerfully, before narrowing one eye with a tilt of his head, "The dog...the dog is a friend of the bear cat!"
Kei, now stopped in his tracks, smiled back uneasily, "Uhm...bear cat?"
"Yes!" The clerk chirped again, before it occurred to him that Kei had no clue to whom he was referring. His grin shifted to one of embarrassment, and he held up a finger, "Ah! A name? Yes, of course: a name." He snapped his fingers, " Jun! The dog is a friend of Jun."
"Oh! Yeah, I guess I have been in here with him, a time or two, haven't I? You must have seen us together."
"Seen? Yes..." The clerk's eyes narrowed farther as he slowly nodded, "Yes...the fox has seen."
"Cool..." Kei eyed the peculiar fox suspiciously and then pointed over his shoulder, "Well, I'm just...uhm...gonna' go look around."
"No, no." The clerk held up his paws and shook his head, "Not out there. What the dog needs...it is in back."
"What I need?" Stepping closer, Kei laughed dismissively at the clerk, "You know what I need?"
"The fox does!" He nodded once, "It is what the dog came for."
"Look..." Kei held up a paw, signaling for the fox to stop, "...not that the act isn't cute and all, but the fact of the matter is: I don't even know what I came for, yet."
"But the fox knows!" The clerk smiled proudly and arrogantly, "A cure!"
"Cure?"
"The dog comes seeking a cure: a balm for the heart..." The fox placed both paws over his own chest, "...for the bear cat's heart."
Kei was admittedly taken aback by the accuracy, "How would you know...?"
"...the fox has seen." The clerk tapped a finger under his eye.
"Oh. Okay! I got it." Kei shared with the fox his own proud smile, "He's been in here looking depressed, right? Probably even complaining about Minori? And so then you see me come in here all by myself for the first time..." the Shiba Inu pointed to the door, "...and it's not that hard to guess that I might be here to pick something up for him: something to cheer him up, maybe? Nice try, though."
"Now, now." Feigning breathlessness, the fox clutched his chest and frowned, "Accusations...pain." He then clapped his paws together in front of Kei's nose, "Trust!"
"Trust?" Kei leaned away from the paws, "A snake oil peddler?"
"Snake oil?" The clerk recoiled as if in disgust, but then raised an eyebrow, muttering to himself, "Hmm...cobra venom good for pain...but pain of body. Pain of heart, not so."
"Look, I..."
The fox clapped his paws together again, cutting Kei off, "Trust! Trust..." He withdrew his paws, touching a finger to each of his own temples, "In the dog's mind: baubles and trinkets, yes? Temporary fixes: gifts, distractions...what the dog thinks he seeks." The clerk stepped back and began digging about under the counter, "But what he needs..." After a moment of searching, he retrieved a small cloth pouch full of tiny green leaves, and triumphantly placed it on the counter "...permanent!"
"Drugs?"
"Drugs!? The..." Though at first appalled by the suggestion, the fox paused, considering whether that description applied, "...well..." but just as quickly dismissed it, "No! Not drugs. Herbs."
"Yeah. Herb is another name for marijuana. Very good." Kei smiled assuredly at his own sarcastic reply.
"Such cynicism..." The clerk stared back almost sadly, "...always cynicism. Must be tiring."
"Actually, it's..."
"Joyless? Disappointing?" The clerk cut his customer off...
...and Kei just narrowed his eyes, "...I was gonna' say useful."
The clerk clutched his paws together, and flashed his best and brightest imitation of puppy-dog eyes, "The fox begs. Please? All I ask: a chance...short few minutes? Indulge the fox?"
Kei wasn't sure why, but he decided to concede for now and simply sighed in response, "Fine."
"Trinkets!" The fox's wide smile returned as he began, "Trinkets bring gratitude, bring smiles. But trinkets come from exterior, from outside, so smiles come from outside. Smiles from outside fade...but smiles from inside last!" He held the pouch of herbs aloft, "Better than trinkets. Brings smiles from inside! Changes inside, changes mind. Change mind and heart follows: heart smiles! Heart smiles and bear cat smiles from inside! Smiles from inside last."
Kei eyed the herbs for a moment before returning his gaze to the clerk, "So...we put this inside him? How? Eat it? Smoke it? Brew a tea? Bake it into a cake?"
"Yes! How ever! The dog's choice! Makes good incense, too." The fox stopped to reconsider that last statement, "Though...better direct than slight contact."
"Uh-huh." Kei nodded dismissively, "So we get it inside him, and he's happy? But, somehow I doubt it's permanent, right?"
"Of course! Continued use required."
"Yep. Still sounds like drugs."
"No! And yes. But no." The clerk struggled in confusion at how to defend himself and his herbs against the dog's accusations, "Herbs only make pliant. Herbs facilitate. Only one piece of cure!" For a moment, he stammered and sputtered, frustrated with the situation before pointing at the Shiba Inu angrily, "The dog will let the fox finish!"
"Sorry." Relenting, Kei nodded and held up his paws.
"Memory is pain." The fox continued with a sigh, "The dog will remember this! Memory is pain. It is key."
"Gotcha."
"Drugs and medicine...like trinkets...cover pain, dull pain, distract from pain, do not cure pain. Even if applied within, drugs still come from without: from outside. Smiles from outside fade."
"So I've been told."
"To make smiles from within, must cure pain. To cure pain, must remove source. And..." the clerk pointed at his customer, "...the dog remembers this?"
"Uhm..." Kei thought back, "...memory is pain?"
"Memory is pain!" The fox clapped his paws together yet again, but this time in celebration, "To cure pain of splinter, remove sliver of wood. To cure pain of heart , remove memory of trauma. Different pain, same cure: remove source."
"Remove his memory? So what are you trying to tell me? These are like amnesia drugs?" Kei caught and corrected himself before the clerk could argue, "Sorry...amnesia herbs?"
Frustration again in his voice, the fox shook his head emphatically, "No, no! The dog does not listen! Will not understand if he ignores the fox. Herbs only one part of cure. Herbs make pliant; herbs open mind. But to reach into mind, to reach memory, to remove memory..." he reached under the counter yet again, "...use these!"
The clerk produced two items, setting both alongside the pouch on the counter. One was simply a rolled up piece of paper, tied at its middle by twine. The other, though, was a large glass ball, nearly the size of the fox's fist. Trapped all throughout the ball were bubbles of various sizes, and carved along its surface were simplistic geometric designs painted green with obviously delicate care.
Kei watched as the fox placed the items alongside the herbs, but paid them little mind, "It doesn't matter what you use! You're still talking about amnesia!"
"No!" The clerk shot back, "Amnesia is...loss of everything. All memory gone...loss of self. With Eye...oh..." he cut himself off and picked up the glass ball to clarify the word, "Eye. With Eye...memory is chosen, and only chosen memory is removed." He sat the Eye aside again, "The dog will choose the memory. He will choose memory of trauma...memory of black-faced cats. The dog will remove pain, replace with happiness. Happiness brings smiles from inside..."
"...and smiles from inside last." Kei finished the sentence.
"Ah!" The fox smiled again, "The dog listens."
"Mm-hmm." Kei was still less than impressed with the eccentric, purple store clerk, "So I do this, and he just forgets the last two years of his life? He wakes up tomorrow thinking it's 2010? Not a great sales pitch. Why would I wish something like that on a friend?"
"Ah." The fox deflated and his smile disappeared, "And the dog does not listen...again." With a disappointed sigh he continued, "Memory is replaced. Two years gone, yes. But two bad years: pain, loss, trauma. The Eye will replace with two good years. Two happy years!"
"What kind of happy years?"
"Whatever the dog likes." The clerk shrugged, "The Eye reaches into mind, removes memory. The dog builds new memory as he pleases. Remove old life, old pain, old loss...replace with new life, new joys..." The fox paused, leaning in closer with a devious smile, "...dare say the fox...new love?"
Kei eyed the clerk suspiciously after that, leaning away as he leaned close. There was no subtlety to the fox. It was no secret what he meant by his statement and his smile; he was suggesting Kei might choose build a memory where he was Jun's lover. But how could the clerk know he was gay? What would make him assume Kei would want anything of the sort? And most importantly...
"We're talking about two years, here!" Kei spoke up finally, breaking the silence.
The fox only smiled in return, "We are!"
"I don't think you understand."
"The fox always understands. The dog , on other paw..."
"That's right. I don't." Kei confirmed flatly and crossed his arms, "How am I supposed to build two years worth of memories? Am I seriously supposed to come up with...how many days is that...?"
"Seven hundred thirty." The clerk answered immediately, "But since the bear cat met the black-faced cats...seven hundred ninety-one."
Though he kept trying to convince himself that the fox was scamming him, he couldn't help but, yet again, be taken aback by his accuracy, "How...?"
"The fox sees."
"Whatever." Kei simply dismissed it again, "The point is: how am I supposed to come up with, apparently, almost eight hundred days of memories? Not to mention all the hours and minutes and..."
"No, no!" The fox cut him off, "Mind is powerful! Even...the dog's." He smiled mockingly before continuing, "The bear cat: no exception. Mind will fill blanks. After the dog removes old memory, need only to invent vague replacement." The clerk paused to tap his temple again, "Bear cat's mind must make sense of empty moments: concoct likely minutia to occupy gaps."
"Really? To what extent?" In spite of himself, Kei was getting caught up in the conversation.
"Hmmm..." The fox thought for a moment of how best to answer, "Scenario: the dog invents memory of year in France. Bear cat's mind constructs time in Paris : taste of wine never tasted, sight of Eiffel Tower never seen..." he hummed softly, as if not entirely sure of the extent of this, himself, "...perhaps even words of French language never learned."
"Wow." Kei was intrigued by the thought that the mind was so powerful that, given even such a vague scenario, it could build years' worth of fake memories around it. He considered for a moment how the Eye worked and the various implications of its use, before he caught himself. Despite his best efforts, he was letting himself get pulled into the weird purple fox's fantasy world, and he needed to get a grip on reality.
"Wait! What am I doing? Look, thanks...but I think I'll pass. I'm just gonna' grab the bear-ca..." he stopped with an annoyed growl, "...grab my friend a gift and be on my way, okay?"
"What has the dog to lose?" The clerk held out his paws as if begging, "So he does not believe the fox. The dog sought a trinket, yes? The Eye can be his trinket!" He pointed at the clear glass ball, "Give the fox's cure a chance, and leave with the Eye! The Eye...it is no more expensive than other shiny, shelved baubles..."
"Yeah...except that I'd have to pay for all these..." Kei forced a fake cough, "...herbs that I don't want, too."
"No. Price for Eye, alone. Herbs free!" The fox smiled widely again, certain he was beginning to convince his customer, "The dog will try. If herbs do not work, the dog still has Eye!"
Kei lifted his chin curiously, his eyes narrowing, "Why, exactly, are the herbs free?"
"The dog remembers?" The clerk pointed at the pouch, "Continued use required!" Then pointed at himself, "The fox...like drug dealer. Customer hooked : customer returns. Future doses no longer free!"
"I thought you said they weren't drugs."
The fox clicked his tongue, "Now the dog listens?"
"Fine! Whatever. The Eye'll do." Kei threw his paws up in defeat, "And if taking the free herbs will finally shut you up, I'll do that, too. How much?"
The clerk was elated, literally bouncing on his toes in response. Hurriedly, he went about packaging the items: stowing the Eye away in its own personal box, synching the pouch closed, and slipping both into a large brown bag, "The bear cat and his dog will be very pleased! Very pleased."
All smiles and hyper, giddy elation, the fox continued about his task, as the barest hint of a wagging tail peeked into sight here and there from behind the counter. This caused Kei to question whether or not normal foxes were even supposed to wag their tails like dogs when happy.
The clerk told his customer the total, took his money, and pushed the bag and still separate roll of paper across the counter. And the Shiba Inu reached for them both before being stopped again by the mouthy vulpine.
" Now." He began, "The dog will listen."
Kei rolled his eyes involuntarily, "More?"
"Yes, more. Must use Eye correctly!" The fox nodded shortly and raised a single finger, "One: give herbs to the bear-cat: eat, smoke, brew tea, bake cake, however the dog likes." He blatantly repeated Kei's aforementioned options, "But do not let the bear-cat know! Very important." The clerk raised a second finger, "Two! Give Eye. 'Pretty trinket! Gaze deep,' the dog will say." He raised a third, "Then Three! Then the dog can cure! Remove memory. Build new life."
"Uhm..." Kei smiled shyly as he rubbed his neck, "Not...entirely sure I understand."
The clerk frowned and stifled a whine, visibly embarrassed, "Ah...yes. The fox does not...convey well." After thinking for a moment, he picked up the roll of paper, "Scroll! Scroll will make clear: fill gaps the fox could not."
"Will it now?" With a wry smile, Kei took the paper from the clerk's paw.
"Yes, yes! Unroll. The dog will see!"
Long tired of fighting with the fox, Kei did as he was told, untying the paper and unrolling it to look inside. Lines of symbols covered the paper, but they were symbols the Shiba Inu had no hope of deciphering. They weren't letters as he knew them, but shapes and signs not unlike the geometric designs on The Eye.
What was this supposed to mean? How would these explain anything to him better than the fox could have? Were these glyphs? Pictographs? Kei wasn't a linguist or archeologist and hadn't the slightest idea how to make sense of the writing.
Before he could question the clerk, though, or dwell long on his dilemma...the symbols lit up the page.
The signs and shapes began to glow an eerie and mellow green. Surprised, Kei held the paper farther from his body on reflex, but he was too entranced to give in to his shock...too intrigued drop the scroll. Before his eyes, the glowing symbols bent, shifted, and reformed, taking on the shapes of letters, characters, and punctuations he recognized, and forming words...words like 'leaves,' 'gaze,' 'Eye,' and 'afflicted.'
Soon enough, the words were sentences, but the dog was too lost in thought, too busy trying to explain away what he'd seen to focus on reading them. "Whoa..." Wide eyed and numb, he ventured, at length, to speak, "Neat trick. You should really lead with that next time."
Laughing deeply and earnestly, with the bag now in his paw, the fox circled the counter, "No, no, dog. Always end strong." He placed his free paw on the Shiba Inu's back, gently ushering him toward the front door, "Customer leaves impressed: customer returns!"
Kei shook his head and looked away from the paper, finally, as he was lead toward the door. He had a thousand questions to ask and more than one voice in his head screaming for him to finally believe the eccentric clerk, who had seemed to grow purpler by the second. When he turned his eyes on the fox, though, he caught a curious sight: a sight which pushed aside his every other worry.
Swaying behind the fox, as he opened the door, was not one...but three large and bushy tails.
"Whoa!" Kei turned, struggling to not be forced out of the shop yet, "Did I just see...?"
"Store is closed." With both paws, the clerk pushed the bag against his customer's chest, smiling as he shoved him the last few inches through the door way, "The dog will leave now."
"Are you a-?"
Ever smiling, the fox simply closed the door, and Kei's question went unasked.
~
Kei had never suffered from a lack of imagination.
Most nights, he found it difficult to sleep. It was in these situations where he most let his imagination take control, plunging him into whatever fantasy world best offered an escape from the worries of his day. At times, of course, these fantasies would lean toward perversion, but on other nights, when he wasn't presently requiring such a 'release,' they were quite different.
At their tamest, these fantasies would be of promotions or higher paying jobs, or even of winning the lottery he'd never bothered to play, and of all the things he would buy and how comfortable his life would be with the extra cash on paw. Many, though, were far more exotic.
Some nights, he dreamed of developing super powers, and the various ends - some good, some selfish, some evil - to which such powers would be his means. Other nights, he imagined being pawpicked by shadowy government organizations and beginning a great supernatural or science-fiction adventure. Among his favorite fantasies were those in which his dreams became a portal to another dimension: a separate, second life full of sword fights and magic, where he would be, of course, a great hero as opposed to a simple peasant or shopkeeper.
Though it was freest in these moments before sleep, this part of his mind was always active...and today was no exception. And while every skeptical bone in his body - those same bones which made him scoff cynically at mediums and ghost hunters - told him to ignore the fox's light show and extra tails...his hopeful and imaginative side yearned to believe.
Behind the wheel of his car, as he drove himself home to Jun, Kei let himself be free to dream and to entertain the reality that the glass ball - boxed and bagged in his passenger seat - was truly an instrument of the paranormal. He used this private time to imagine the events of the quickly approaching evening through the lens of such a reality...
...and soon his fantasy leaned toward perversion.
If asked, he would have argued that this was all the fault of the purple shopkeeper. He would have asserted that the fox's mention of "new love" was the only reason such thoughts were on his mind. But he knew otherwise.
Even if the clerk had never said anything of the sort...if Kei were given the power to alter his friend's memory, given the power to change him as he saw fit, the realization of what benefits such a gift could render would not have been far behind.
It would be simple enough. Just convince Jun that he and Kei were a couple, or better yet: that he was Kei's loyal and submissive pet! If it was strong enough - this Eye and its herbs - perhaps he could even make the red panda believe he enjoyed it. Perhaps he could make Jun want it! In just a few hours, Kei could have his friend begging to be bent over the arm of the living room couch and-
No. What was he thinking? He'd gotten the Eye for Jun. His friend was depressed. He was lonely, sad and heartbroken, and he'd bought these things to help him...to make him happy again. The Eye wasn't for Kei to make his poor friend into his personal plaything...
...besides: it's not like it would work anyway. It was just a stupid glass ball.
~
Luckily for Kei, he often found himself playing the role of chef for his friends. Otherwise, when the Shiba Inu volunteered to make dinner that night, Jun may have found the suggestion odd. It was a regular enough occurrence, though, that the red panda had no need to question it, and soon, Jun was lounging in the living room, while Kei chopped herbs in the kitchen.
The dog minced the herbs as fine as his knife and his skills would allow, and then lifted them pinch by pinch with his fingers and sprinkled them quite deliberately over only half of the meat he'd prepared. To maintain some visible symmetry, he then lightly dusted the other half with green flecks of its own - oregano - before sliding the baking sheet into the oven.
With nothing left to do but wait, Kei turned, plucking a scroll from his kitchen counter to obsessively scan its instructions for what was at least the twentieth time:
Before the afflicted may be cured of past ills... ...the mind must be prepared: cleared and opened to receive the Eye.
One first must expose the afflicted to the leaves of the Conspectus. When exposed, the eyes will redden.
One then will place the Eye into the palm of the afflicted... ...and speak the words "gaze deep." Reddened eyes will glow.
One must only speak the name of the afflicted at the cure's end... ...as only the name may break the hold of the Eye.
One will speak the memory ailing the afflicted, and bid it be forgotten... ...then speak of a new memory to replace the old.
To awaken and break the hold of the Eye, speak the name of the afflicted. To retain the cure, continue exposure to the Conspectus.
Kei had a habit of talking to himself, or at least of thinking so loudly and conversationally he may as well have been. And when he first decided to make the night's meal - somewhere near his first proper reading of the scroll - he'd assured himself he was doing it purely to prove the fox to be a fraud.
He could only lie to himself for so long, though. As skeptical as he was, after the light show and the fox's, at worst, very-convincing-kitsune-costume, he was growing more hopeful than he was cynical. He tried to pretend he wanted to prove the fox's cure was a fake, but, in truth, he hoped he would prove that it wasn't.
Some measure of time ticked by with Kei left waiting in nervous anxiety...obsessive readings 21 through 25 came and went...and, soon, the food was ready and carefully plated, to be certain the right green flecks would go to the right waiting mouth.
And they did. With the DVR playing through an episode of one of the many shows Kei needed it to help him keep up with, he and his red panda friend sat, watched, and ate their food. But only the canine's had Oregano.
Plates cleaned and television paused on the show's closing credits, Kei turned to his friend on the other end of the couch, "Did you enjoy the food?"
Jun groaned through a stretch before answering, "When do I not enjoy something you cook?"
"Just checking..." the dog nervously rubbed his arm as he scanned his friend, "Mine tasted a little off...and I was worried yours might have, too."
Jun just laughed at him, "I'm sure they tasted exactly the same. You're just being a foodie, as usual."
The red panda turned, finally, to look at his friend, and his eyes immediately caught the Shiba's. The whites of Jun's eyes were red and bloodshot, just like the paper had said they should be, but Kei reminded himself that that could easily just be from a lack of sleep...or because the herbs really were drugs, like he'd been so certain of earlier.
"Hey, uhm...I don't want it to look like I'm trying to get into your pants, or anything," in his mind, the Shiba Inu recognized the irony, "...but while I was out today, I picked something up for you."
"Like a present?"
"Kind of?" Kei cleared his through timidly.
"Again...nicer than any of my girlfriends." The red panda shook his head with a soft and appreciative smile, "What is it?"
"Well, uhm, I know how much you like that silly magic shop downtown, right?" Kei had stowed the brown paper bag beside the couch just before sitting down to eat, and now he was lifting it up to sit it in his lap, "And I thought it might put a smile on your face if I went by and grabbed you a little trinket from there." He visibly winced, realizing that he only used that word - trinket - because of the fox.
The dog continued on, though, and pulled the box out of its bag, watching it intently as he pawed it off to Jun. The red panda, too, kept his eyes on it as he felt its surprising weight and sat it down in his own lap, where he wasted no time with opening it. With a curious tilt of his head - something he'd picked up from Kei over the years - Jun twisted and turned the ball in his paw, scanning its green carvings and noting how different they looked when seen in reverse: warped through the bubbled crystal.
"Thanks, Kei." He looked away from the ball only momentarily, before returning to his examinations, "I really do appreciate this. Yet another example of how much nicer it is living here with you than it was with Minori."
The thought didn't even cross Kei's mind that he should say 'you're welcome.' There was so much going on up there, that there was no room left for it, "The uhm..." he began hesitantly, "...the shopkeeper up there, the fox, he told me-"
"Wait. Fox?" Jun cut him off, turning to look at him again.
"Yeah?"
"The shopkeeper's not a fox. He's a Gharial..."
"Well..." the Shiba just shrugged, "...it was a fox I was dealing with today. Really weird guy too."
"Must've just been hired..." Jun shrugged as well, and looked back at the ball as he traced one of the green lines with his finger.
"I guess so. But, uhm..." With a nervous cough, Kei shifted awkwardly back to his point, "Anyway...I can't see anything, but he was telling me that if you look really deep into it, like right in the center, you're supposed to be able to see something cool."
"Oh?" The red panda squinted his bloodshot eyes, leaning his head closer until the ball was almost touching his white, stubby muzzle, "I dunno...I'm not seeing anything." He blinked and brought it even closer, until it was against his nose, "Right in the center, right? Is there some trick to it?"
"All I know is that he said..." Kei gulped and took a breath. This was it - the moment of truth, the point of no return - whatever cliché the dog preferred, his next two words would define this night, one way or another. "...gaze deep."
On cue, the green lines lit up around the ball: sharp, electric, and pulsating. The light refracted, sparkling green from bubble to bubble, until it coalesced, shimmering at the center of the orb. And before Jun's eyes could even register the light, it washed across them as well, from their pupils and outward...a glowing green tint flowing and shifting across the surface, eyelid to eyelid.
"...oh my God." Kei leaned away as his claws dug into the couch, his mind racing and fighting with itself over what he'd seen, what it meant, and what possibilities would follow. For all his mind's confusion, though, another part of his body was surer, steadier, and firmer. His sheath tingled and stirred before his head could even accept what it had witnessed.
He opened his muzzle but closed it again before he spoke, remembering what he'd read in the scroll. He couldn't say Jun's name...it would break the spell. The spell. He'd just put a spell on his friend.
Kei opened his muzzle again, "Hey..." His breathing was unsteady as he leaned closer to the red panda, "Anybody there?"
Jun didn't move. Though their pupils were barely visible, his eyes were locked still on the glass ball touching his nose, and, save for his breaths, he hadn't moved an inch.
Kei leaned back again, his paw over his mouth, "Oh my God, this is really happening." He looked around, as if visibly searching in vain for answers and guidance, and then scooted closer hesitantly, his paw lightly touching his friend's shoulder, "Buddy?"
But, still, Jun offered no response, and Kei began, though he had no clue what to say.
"I know you wouldn't choose to do it like this. I know you wouldn't want..." Kei's words caught in his throat, and he licked his drying lips as he tried to collect himself, "I know you don't want to forget them. But I just want to see you smile again, okay? And after tonight, I will. I want you to be happy, and...no: I want you to have been happy. You deserve so much better than Minori...and I'm gonna' make sure you have it. I'm gonna' make sure you have every bit of happiness you deserve."
The Shiba winced, his forehead falling into his paw, "Fuck...I'm doing this wrong. What do I..." He sat up straight again, with a sudden realization, and his paw plunged into his pocket where he plucked out the now folded scroll, fumbling to unfold and read it, "Okay. Forget...forget..."
He took a breath and began again, "I need you to forget. Forget Minori. Forget Shin. Forget the first day you saw her, and the first day you saw him. You never met them...you never knew them...and they were never in your life. Just let it all go: every moment you had with them, and every bit of happiness that lead to her breaking your heart." No amount of licking could stop his lips from being dry, but he kept trying regardless, "None of it ever happened."
And with that, it was half way over. But even as the dog sighed in relief, he fidgeted nervously in his seat: it was only half way over. He looked down at the scroll and then back at his friend...and then again, and again, back and forth, as he wound through his options for step two. Next: he had to build a memory to replace the one he'd taken away.
But his muzzle opened and his mouth lead before his mind had even decided what it should say, "...and without them in your life...you've been content. You've been happy. You've been..." He held his breath, only deepening the silence of the pause that followed: a silence so thick, that it made his ears ring. His breath, though, returned, exhaling with the words he'd known he was going to say for hours, and knew would never be able to take back, "...with me."
Kei shook: nervous, shivering tremors radiating in waves across his flesh and setting his fur on end. And he'd long since given up trying to keep his lips moist. "There was a night, years ago..." He began, despite his trepidation, "You and Kaori had broken up, this tiger girl at school was using you, and you were sitting at your parents' house holding your phone and trying to get up the nerve to call me." His voice was low, like he was telling Jun a secret and feared someone else might hear...but his next words were as emphatic as his muted volume would allow, "And you made that call. You called me, you came over to my place, we drank, we smoked...and by the end of the night..." His words broke in a nervous shuddering breath, and then dropped to a remorseful, but resolute whisper, "...we came in each other's muzzles."
"And you liked it." He continued, his voice taking on a slow, prodding rhythm giving every few words the importance and the weight they were due, "In time, you even learned to love it: the way I taste...the feeling of me twitching in your muzzle...my knot swelling in your ass..." He couldn't help but smile, picturing the absurdity of Jun being in such a position and actually enjoying it, "And you have been mine ever since. We've been together, in this house, and you've been happy. Happy to be with someone who loves you...happy to be free of all the unneeded drama your girlfriends brought to your life..." He gulped before repeating himself, and further cementing his friend's new...position, "...even happy to be raising tail. Because you've been happy...to be with me."
Convinced he'd said enough, Kei reached a trembling paw forward, and plucked the Eye from his friend's grasp, "Jun?"
The red panda's eyes, at first, followed the glowing orb, but at the sound of his name, he shook his head, and all of the green lights faded away: those in the Eye and those in his. "Oh. Sorry." He blinked and looked the Shiba Inu over, "I think I blanked there for a second. Were you saying something?"
"Just...uhm..." Kei laughed nervously, "...trying to get your attention."
"Sorry." Jun shook his head again, with a short and sharp breath, "And sorry I couldn't see anything in the crystal, either. Can you?"
The dog looked at it, turning it in his paw, "No. It's pretty, though."
"It is. Almost as pretty as the pup who bought it for me!" Jun leaned in, planting a quick and unexpected kiss on his friend's cheek, "Thanks, again, hun!"
And Kei froze. Wide eyed and statuesque, he grew stiffer, even, than his friend had been under the thrall of the Eye. Had he just been kissed? Had this actually worked?
"I still don't know what the occasion was..." The red panda flashed a coy and playful smile, as he stood up, "...but I guess this means I owe you a little something in return, now, don't I?" He winked down at the dog.
Kei slowly turned his head, as if fighting against some great resistance to even move it, and stared, eyes ever wide, up at his...friend? "...do you?"
"Hmm. I've never known you to argue." Jun raised his eyebrow curiously, "But I guess I don't have to do anything to pay you back..."
"Nonono!" Kei shot back, waving his paws frantically, before he caught and calmed himself, "Or...well...I mean...it's just, so long as you want to. I-I mean...I'm certainly not gonna' turn it down."
"That's more like it!" Jun laughed heartily and snatched the gift back from his boyfriend, "I think I'm gonna' go get ready for bed, hun." He turned to leave, "Don't be long catchin' up! I've been known to start without you."
Kei felt like he was going to faint. Not that he ever had, or really knew what it would feel like coming on, but he was dizzy, short of breath, and there was an unsteady trembling in his chest...and he didn't exactly know what else to call it.
He heard himself say, "There's no way this is really happening," but he wasn't entirely certain if he'd said it out loud, or if he'd only thought it. So much of him was sure that this was all just a joke: that Jun had just sat there, listening to his speech and pretending it was all real...and then decided to fuck with him afterward.
But Kei had seen the light show. He had to keep reminding himself: he'd seen the light show.
It took him a great deal of effort to compose himself, to steady his breathing, and to appear - though not actually be - calm enough to follow Jun to the bedroom: the bedroom which was, minutes earlier, only his. He could only assume that that was no longer the case.
Inside, he found the red panda lying on the bed, stripped down to his boxers. Kei had seen the sight before, earlier today even, but it was different now. Very different.
Jun was stretched out, paws behind his head and eyes following the dog as he entered the room. Kei's own eyes trailed over his friend's - his boyfriend's - body: his ringed tail barely moving along the bed sheets...the pitch-black fur of his stomach and legs disappearing behind his silk boxers...the bulge beneath those boxers that looked just a little bigger than he remembered...and the red and white patches of his face.
Jun stared back at him warmly: a tender and affectionate invitation. But it was not that stare, and those playfully amorous eyes he'd never thought he'd see, which froze Kei in his tracks. It was Jun's smile that disarmed him, and finally calmed his stirring chest. It had worked. Jun was happy.
The red panda coughed deliberately, breaking his friend from his trance, "Gonna' join me? Or just stare?"
Kei smiled back sheepishly, "Sorry."
The Shiba Inu went about slipping off his shirt, and his first instinct was to turn away. He stopped himself though. He'd never been shy about undressing - or even being nude - in front of Jun before, and there was no reason to change that now. When he got to removing his pants, though, unbuttoning and unzipping them, the tent that popped out to greet him made him second guess that decision.
From their bed, Jun laughed aloud, "Somebody's looking forward to getting paid back."
"Yeah..." Kei flashed his teeth through a guilty smile, "Looks like it."
"Well then?" The red panda patted the bed beside him, "What's the hold up?"
Kei didn't bother with a response. Pants dropped and piled on the floor, he just turned to approach the bed, clad only in his tented boxers. Acutely aware of Jun's eyes upon him the entire way - often upon the tent specifically -he padded cautiously over, and slid in beside his friend. Still unsure of the reality of it all though, he was careful to leave a noticeable gap between them...
...a fact which did not escape Jun's attention, "Are you okay, Kei?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Swallowing the last of his disbelief, the dog shifted himself over, closer to his friend, and he reminded himself one last time...that that's not what they were anymore.
Were that reminder not enough, though, Jun drove it home. He grabbed Kei and pulled his body atop his own, nose to nose, eye to eye...and lip to lip. Eyelids dropping closed, he kissed his canine boyfriend for what, for one of them at least, was the first time.
Kei's eyes closed as well, as his insides spun. Every bit of worry, every bit of doubt was gone in a violent rush, and he gripped the red panda as tightly as his paws and his arms could synch. His tongue inched from between his lips and begged entrance past Jun's: begging more lightly, and more slowly than he could ever remember in any kiss with anyone in the past. Finally, though, his stilted pace was not one of trepidation or nervousness; there was no denying what was happening anymore. No, he was simply treating this as the long-awaited first kiss it was, and he intended to enjoy every moment.
The red panda met his boyfriend's tongue with a fervor, his own tongue lashing out and intertwining with it in the connected space of their maws. Kei was surprised and not at all unpleased with the enthusiasm, but his attention was quickly taken away from the kiss, as he felt a paw trace his tented shorts.
The Shiba Inu shivered at the contact, stiffening and whining into his lover's embrace...but it wasn't because of the touch. He'd enjoyed the caress of another's paw there countless times, and the feeling was nothing new, nothing earth shattering. The thought, though...the thought of whom that paw belonged to, and the means which put it there...that was a different story.
Feeling his boyfriend tense and shake, Jun broke the kiss with a chuckle, "Now what's all that about? My Pup can't be so pent up yet; it hasn't even been a day."
"What can I say?" With a feigned chuckle, Kei involuntarily averted his eyes, "Can't have too much of a good thing."
Gaze turned down along his new lover's body, Kei pulled himself closer, tighter, and placed his fingers on the red panda's chest. A soft, contented smile spreading across his tan muzzle, he watched as his fingers wound, trailing through his boyfriend's thick, black fur, stopping to twirl lightly around his naval.
Jun, though, was watching those fingers as well, "Seriously, Kei, is everything alright?"
The dog blinked and looked back up, "What do you mean?"
"What's up with you being so affectionate?" Jun traced his own fingers lightly over his lover's exploratory digits, on his stomach, "Don't get me wrong; I don't mind it. I've always been a cuddler..."
Kei chuckled playfully, "Which has always been absolutely precious."
"I thought we talked about that." The red panda narrowed his eyes and poked his Shiba Inu on the nose, "I indulge your sicko perversions, and you stop making fun of my-"
"Girliness?"
"Hey!"
"Sorry." Kei had been so quick to joke, at first, that he hadn't really noticed what the panda had said. Indulge his perversions? Jun had invented a memory of an agreement they'd made? An agreement to explore Kei's kinks? It would seem that the purple kitsune was right about his mind filling in the gaps, after all. Quite specifically too...
Jun broke his lover's train of thought, "Anyway, you know I like this sort of thing...but you usually save it for after we're done. What happened to the straight-to-business-Kei who I know and...begrudgingly tolerate? Tackling me, wrestling me, throwing me down...lately even telling me to 'beg for the knot' to varying degrees of success...?"
The dog smiled wide at that last bit of invented memory. He certainly liked how his new boyfriend's mind operated, "I can't be a little affectionate?"
"Most of the time, sure! It's just a little disconcerting that I haven't had my boxers ripped off yet!" Jun touched a finger to his Shiba's bulge again, eliciting another shivering whine, "I guess I've just grown accustomed to my merciless horn dog..."
"Maybe I just feel like savoring the moment, tonight." Kei looked down again, watching his fingers play in Jun's thick stomach fur, "I never thought anything like this would really happen, you know? Nothing wrong with appreciating it, is there?"
The red panda scoffed, "We've been going at it for what: three or four years, now? Hasn't the novelty worn off, yet?"
Kei's eyes shot open, as he tried his best to recover smoothly, but stammered through it, nonetheless, "It's just...I dunno...I mean, there was a time when this all seemed impossible, you know? Like, back when Kaori was around." He smiled, hoping that explanation would fly, "Sometimes I'm just reminded how lucky I am."
"Lucky to have me?" Jun gripped his lover's dick through the cotton of his boxers, "Or lucky you got me to raise tail?"
The Shiba grunted and convulsed in his boyfriend's grasp, "...can it be both?"
Jun met the playful joke with another rough and passionate kiss, drawing Kei against him...and the dog went immediately about fulfilling his boyfriend's earlier wish: to be freed of his boxers. Eyes closed and attention lost in the kiss, his paws fumbled blindly at his red panda's shorts.
As he did, Kei was acutely aware of every instant his paw brushed across his lover's growing bulge, both with and without the silk between them. And each time, if only for an instant, he thought to break the kiss, and to look at the prize he'd exposed, but Jun was giving him no such option. At least, not until the boxers had finally been tugged and kicked aside.
Finally stripped of his silk confinements, Jun released his dog, whose eyes shot right to the red panda's freed package. It stood there, moist and expectant, having slipped, already, more than half way free of its sheath...and Kei's mouth watered. He'd seen that sheath before and the balls swinging beneath, and had never been too shy to stare, but this was the first time he'd seen his friend's shaft erect and exposed.
He wanted to stare...he wanted to explore it with his paw...he wanted to nuzzle against those balls he'd seen so many times before, and to finally take in the scent he'd only been able to get the most fleeting passing hints of before...
But it had been many weeks since he'd enjoyed the company of anyone but his paw, and - thanks to his spell - he had all the time in the world to explore...tomorrow. At whiplash speed, his head was between Jun's legs, and his tongue was lapping from the edge of his sheath to his tip, as he growled lustfully, enchanted with the taste.
The moment his tongue reached the tip, he wasted no time parting his lips and taking his lover's shaft into his muzzle. However, he barely took in half of its length before a pair of trembling paws found his cheeks and drew his head back up.
Confused, he looked up at Jun, who smiled back as shyly as he'd ever seen the red panda manage.
"Not that I'm not enjoying the attention, but..." Jun began hesitantly, "It feels like it's been...forever since I've had you inside me, and..."
"Wasn't it just yesterday?" The Shiba cut him off, reaffirming an earlier invented memory.
Jun smiled as wide as his little white muzzle could manage, "Feels like longer."
"Wait..." Recalling another invented memory, Kei smiled back, mischievously, "...if I'm not mistaken, it sounds like someone's...begging for his Pup's knot."
Though visibly embarrassed by it, the red panda wanted it too much to fight him, and relented to his lover's playful prodding, "I guess I am." He leaned in, licking the dog's ear, a weak spot he'd known about since long before they'd 'gotten together,' and whispered into it, "Tie me, Puppy..."
The two separated again. Kei's entire body tingled from the tongue and whispered breath on his ear, and his mind was left too clouded, now, to even muse over how effective his spell had been...and how he'd gotten his formerly straight best friend begging to be fucked.
Before the tingling had even subsided, the dog was already stripping off his own boxers, and as the cotton slid down his legs, his mind raced. He imagined in great detail the next few minutes of his life: Jun's legs over his shoulders, their faces muzzle to muzzle, and the red panda's balls pressed against his lower stomach. He pictured rolling Jun into a ball, neck and shoulders against the bed, and hips high. He thought of kissing his new lover, hearing him moan into his muzzle, and feeling him try in vain to wrench his arm in between them to paw himself off.
Before Kei's boxers had even joined Jun's on the floor, though, his boyfriend had negated the fantasy. Jun rolled over in the bed, and lifted himself up onto all fours, tail raised and hips high. Kei wondered if this was part of another invented memory: a memory of this being a favorite position of his. He wanted to comment on the enthusiasm. But all he could do was stare at the pink pucker presented to him: the hole which, as of tonight, was his.
"Well?" Looking back over his shoulder, Jun swayed his big, ringed tail playfully, "Waiting for me to beg again?"
Kei grinned, "Couldn't hurt."
"Don't push it."
"Don't push?" The Shiba moved in from behind, tip resting against his panda's virgin hole, "I thought that's exactly what you wanted me to do?"
With a shaking murr, Jun pressed back against the tip, "Less jokes, Pup...more knot."
Kei's muzzle twisted into a predatory smile, teeth bared as he felt the heat of his lover's tailhole pressing against him, and he leaned over, voice lowered and paws gripping the panda's hips, "That's better..."
And push the dog did. It was not brutal or without abandon, but it was not with the care and patience he should have had with a virgin. But after all...Jun didn't know he was a virgin anyway.
His slick, tapered, and dripping tip pierced and spread his boyfriend's waiting hole as it was driven forward. Kei was nothing resembling gentle, but neither was his intrusion quick. It would have been, with what force was behind it, but Jun's unbeknownst virginity was holding the Shiba Inu at bay. He'd only been with one virgin before...but the vice grip on his shaft, now, seemed even tighter.
Beneath him, the red panda tensed and grimaced with a sharp hiss, as he drew a breath through clenched teeth, "Stop. Stop."
Kei complied, more for fear of it ending all together if he didn't, than out of concern for his friend, or actual self control, "Too..." He cut himself off with a grunt, having difficulty sitting still with the heat of his boyfriend's ring pulsing around his shaft, "...too much?"
"Yeah..." Through heavy breaths, Jun tried to reposition himself, which only felt to Kei like he was grinding, "I don't know what's wrong. Hasn't hurt like this in a long time." He laughed, though it was audibly pained, "Feels like you got bigger."
"Maybe you just got tighter..." The dog pushed forward more, forcing in at least another inch of his shaft - the heat, the pressure and the feeling of having the panda at his complete mercy robbing him of any better judgment.
"Ah!" Jun didn't fight it, even reflexively pushing back and allowing more in, but his fingers gripped the sheets as he protested, nonetheless, "Seriously...take it slow, hun."
"I am..." Kei kept inching in, burying himself in his new lover, "You know how fast I could be going..."
The red panda pushed his head against the pillow with a continued whimper, "Too true..."
"Besides...you normally love this." Kei gripped his former friend's hips tighter, "And a minute ago, didn't I hear you... beg!?" He slammed forward, hilting up to the beginning of his knot, as if punctuation for his final word.
For a moment, Jun took on all the mannerisms of a dog - yelping before falling limp and panting into his pillow - as if taking cues from the male inside of him, "I did, Puppy. I did."
"And you're a big boy, too..." The Shiba slowly and teasingly pulled out, almost to the tip, "...you can handle a little pain."
"I can."
"Good boy."
With that, Kei dug his fingers into the panda's hips and drove back in, bringing forth another yelp and round of panting, before he finally began to pump himself in and out of his magically won hole in earnest. Soon, the hole relented, and his thrusts grew smoother and less restricted, as the yelps beneath him gave way to moans and grunts. The panting, though...never faded.
Soon, Jun was pushing back in time with the thrusts, as well as his purely invented experience would allow, and Kei had leaned over him complete, tan muzzle wrapping around his red and black shoulder...gently, at first.
As the dog bit down on his lover, Jun's paw gave up its attempts at patience and wrapped itself around his dribbling erection. He wanted to cum while his boyfriend of three years was inside of him. He needed it. But first...
"Give me the knot, Pup! Tie me!" He bit the pillow in anticipation...
...and though the dog's mouth was too full for a verbal response, Kei did respond. He needed no convincing to finally take this hole: the hole he'd been waiting for since he'd spoken to a certain kitsune hours ago...and, in truth, for years before, in mild innocuous fantasy. With all his force, he drove himself forward, splitting his friend, boyfriend, lover, and victim with his engorged and throbbing knot.
And Jun screamed into the pillow. As Kei ground against him and emptied himself, spraying his seed as deep into the panda as it would go - stream after unending stream - his victim screamed. The red panda's paw, though, never left his cock, only stroking faster and faster.
In time, Kei was laid out and silent on his lover's back. Tied, spent, and bathing in the afterglow, he had let go of his panda's shoulder and was left to only wait. And beneath him, Jun was far from done. Twisting and grinding his hips back against his dog, he moaned aloud. And soon, there on all fours, he was bucking, with what limited mobility he had, as his paw feverishly sped along the length of his pained member.
With one final yelp, he came - with no concern for the sheets beneath him - and collapsed, falling to his side...the still attached canine tumbling with him.
Gently licking his red panda's bitten neck, Kei chuckled breathlessly and mockingly, "I made you beg."
"Careful, dog..." Jun growled back playfully, "...or I might not do it again."
"Sorry. I'll be good." The Shiba pulled his lover close, "Sore?"
"...doesn't even begin to describe it."
~
The next morning, a car pulled to a stop in front of Kei's two story-apartment building, its driver's side door opening to reveal a petite female flying squirrel, clad above the waist in nothing but an expensive embroidered poncho.
It was a Saturday, and neither Kei nor Jun had work: a fact the driver of this small red sports car was well aware of. She was Reiko: an old friend of the two who'd moved cities away but frequently found the time and reason to return for visits...especially since Jun's split from Minori.
And today was such a day.
Instead of going first for the breezeway, though, this day she circled the building, traipsing gingerly through the complex's grass. Soon, she'd made her way to the railing of Kei's patio, where she could peek in through the gaps in the blinds of his sliding glass door.
Stretching there in the living room, his tail fur unkempt, fresh from sleep, Jun stood nude and bare to the world...or to any of the world interested in peeking in through imperfect blinds. But before the flying squirrel could take much of the sight in, the red panda was joined. Stepping free from the bedroom, came Kei, equally nude and equally unkempt.
Reiko couldn't help but laugh at the two. For years they'd bragged and joked about how comfortable they were with one another. Jun had spoken time and again of how they'd driven off a former roommate with their constant nudity, and Kei had joked that he had seen only one of his boyfriends naked as many times as he had the red panda. This, however, was the first time she'd seen proof of the tales.
What she saw next, though, was something else entirely.
As she watched, Kei approached the red panda from behind, groin against his tail base, and arms around his waist, where nimble, golden fingers explored a pitch-black sheath.
It had to be a joke...they were always joking...
Her breath caught in her throat, though, as the red panda turned in the embrace and kissed the dog, one arm draped over his shoulder, and the other returning the favor of the grope.
That was no joke...and before the two new lovers even knew it had arrived, the little red sports car was gone.
~
There we go! The first half of The Eye!
See you for part 2, and whatever role Reiko plays! Thanks for reading!
I welcome any feedback! Comment or PM me here, or email me at frostborealis[at]gmail.com I'll also be getting myself a twitter and a facebook dedicated to Borealis soon.