Karaoke Night - Chapter 4: Crazy Bitch
#4 of Karaoke Night
Sonic the Hedgehog and company sing songs during a karaoke event at a Mobian teahouse. Rated for language.
Chapter 4 is written from the POV of Rouge the Bat.
"Let's give it up for Sonic!"
There was a smattering of applause here and there. I personally think the announcer guy was trying to be a bit too enthusiastic about this just to get the crowd to seem entertained. Not that I blamed him. Still, I was more inclined to take the side of the audience. Why the hell was I even here?
Oh yeah. Because that echidna told me not to come.
Knuckles had a lot of nerve sometimes. I'm Rouge! I'm the greatest jewel thief that ever lived! And if that rodent thought that I was going to take orders from someone more gullible than Adam Sandler's character from Mr. Deeds, then he's got another think coming.
This place was packed! I couldn't find a seat to sit in, and the rafters looked filthy. Rather than ruin my nice new dress, I decided to be content to stand in the back.
The announcer was now introducing the next act, I think. I couldn't tell, though, because of just how many people were in front of me, complaining about how boring this show was. I was inclined to agree, and probably would have if I hadn't already signed up to participate (secretly, of course!).
"Hey," I said, sticking my head into their little group, "be quiet! I wanna know who's up next!"
All their mouths quickly shut, and I even caught one of them staring down my dress as I poked my head into their group. For that one moment, I regretted wearing it.
"S- uh, sorry ma'am." The one that spoke... he was apparently the leader of the group. He nudged his friends in the ribs and they all nodded and shut up.
I looked up to the stage, but the announcer had disappeared. In his place stood... Knuckles.
I didn't even know that Knuckles could sing, much less play an instrument, but here he was up on stage, with the Chaotix as his band. I saw much of the audience plug their ears, but I didn't think there'd be much need for that. I'd heard the Chaotix practicing some music recently while on Angel Island, but I hadn't known Knuckles was with them... he had always been out taking care of the Chao gardens at the times I heard-
My, my, my. Knuckles, you old dog. You pulled a fast one over my eyes!
"So... mostly this song is for fun. Mostly. I hope you all in the audience like it."
His voice... his voice sounded strong, sure. He sounded like the man I wanted him to be. I often wondered why he didn't sound like that when I was around or when he wasn't angry. I guessed maybe it was because I was kind of intimidating to him. He was always kinda sheepish around me when he wasn't angry at me for teasing him.
The band behind him started up the music. I admit, it wasn't a song I was familiar with. There was a good heavy guitar intro, and plenty of heavy drums, and people were uncovering their ears gradually as it looked like the windows were staying in place. I looked over the audience, and some were even bobbing their heads with what little music had started playing... obviously this was a popular song.
That... bat-echidna thing looked like he was getting sick, though.
I looked up at the stage to see Knuckles put the microphone up to his mouth to sing.
"_ My girlfriend's a dick magnet, my girlfriend's gotta have it. _
_ She's hot, can't stop, up on stage doing shots; _
_ tip the man he'll ring the bell, get her drunk she'll scream like hell." _
Oh. My. God.
No.
I could feel my blood begin to boil.
"_ Dirty girl, getting' down, dance with guys from outta town; _
_ Grab her ass, actin' tough, mess with her she'll fuck you up. _
_ No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned, _
_ But she's coming back to my place tonight!" _
I swear, Knux was acting for it. I was clenching my fists, and I probably looked mad as hell, because the group of kids that I had shushed before were all cowering on the floor.
_" She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat, _
_ She likes to pull me hair when I make her grind her teeth. _
_ I like to strip her down, she's naughty to the end, _
_ You know what she is, no doubt about it: _
_ She's a BAD, BAD GIRLFRIEND!" _
There was a guitar break here, and as I looked out over the crowd, my vision slowly faded to red. They were all laughing! LAUGHING! I mean, this was Knuckles singing! And everybody around knew Knuckles and I were dating, so in essence they were all laughing at me! I was gonna kill him!
I spotted that bat thing get up from the crowd. He seriously looked like he was going to vomit. I wondered briefly why he wasn't on the floor laughing like the rest of the crowd, and then I remembered when I met him. He was supposed to be my child from the future... so in hearing this song and knowing about the future match-up... yeah. I guess the mental image would be too much for me if I were in his shoes. Granted, I was too angry to think coherently right then. My fists were clenched and I started to make my way to the stage to beat the life and will out of the lead singer.
"_ Red thong, party's on, love this song, sing along. _
_ Come together, leave alone. 'See you later,' back at home. _
_ No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned, _
_ But she's coming back to my place tonight! I say _
_ No one really knows just how far she's gonna go _
_ But I'm gonna find out later tonight!" _
Not if I kick your ass now you won't, rodent. Now I see why he didn't want me to be here tonight...
I was in a blind rage. I was almost up to the stage, even, the crowd parting to let me through, seeing just how extremely pissed I was. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Stealth (that was his name... I couldn't remember until now) bent over, and sounds of retching were reaching my ears over the blasphemous music.
"_ She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat. _
_ She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth. _
_ I like to strip her down, she's naughty to the end, _
_ You know what she is, no doubt about it: _
_ She's a BAD, BAD GIRLFRIEND!" _
I expected another guitar break, maybe enough that he would notice me standing near the stage, my fists clenched and ready to destroy his very existence. Instead, he continued...
"_ It doesn't take her long to make things right, _
_ It doesn't make her wrong to have the time of her life... _
_ The time of her liiiiiffffeee." _
There was the guitar break I was looking for. He finally looked down at the side of the stage, right at me. I saw the smile fade off his face, and I think he even went white there for a minute. I guess he didn't really think he life mattered much anymore, because he continued from there, hopping onto the back of the stage and climbing up to the rafters to hang and sing from there.
"_ My girlfriend's a dick magnet... my girlfriend's gotta have it!" _
Oh, I had to have it, alright. I had to have it in my hands so I could snap it in half. He would be a new virgin after I got a hold of him. I started to step up on stage after him when I vaguely felt hands pushing and holding me back. I looked around and spotted that Carbine guy holding onto me, his arms around mine and his feet planted, trying to hold me back from killing the rodent. Tails had wrapped himself around my legs, and Sonic was back from comforting Amy. He had his hands on my chest (MY CHEST!) pushing me back. And even with these three holding me, I was slowly inching forwards.
Then Knux sprang into singing again. I had almost forgotten about his singing!
"_ She's a gold digger, now you figure out it's over, pull the trigger; _
_ Future's finished, there it went. _
_ Savings' gone, the money spent. _
_ I look around and all I see is no good, bad and ugly, _
_ Guys, she fit and fixed to be the ex-Miss Guardian!" _
The ex? THE EX?
"I'm the WHAT?" I was trying to get the players to stop the music, but I guess my screech was a bit too high pitched... I heard a lot of dogs start barking after I let loose my vocal fury, though.
"_ She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat. _
_ She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth." _
I wrenched myself free from the grips of the three males holding me back, and in an instant, my wings were free from the confines of my dress. Lucky for me I wore my Riders' jumpsuit underneath... unluckily for him, I was flying straight for his big head, my foot ready to kick him as hard as I could.
"_ I like to strip her down, she's naughty to the end, _
_ You know what she is, no doubt about it: _
_ She's a BAD, BAD GIRLFRIEND!" _
I flew right at him, spun in mid air, and caught him in the chest with the toe of my boot. I watched with satisfaction as he lost all the air in his lungs, his grip on the rafters slipped, and he fell to the stage... but he got one last line in.
"_ She's a BAD, BAD GIRLFR- OOF!" _
The next few minutes were a blur of blood, cuss words, and security hauling me out of the teahouse. Knuckles is lucky to be alive... and so is the audience. How dare they laugh at me!