I love him. He doesn't.
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Hello. Thanks for taking the time to open this story. It is based on real-life events that hapened with me. I hope you understand my suffering.
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I'm in love with someone. And I shouldn't. Why? Well, for one to understand the end of a story, one must know all of it...
29th April, 2012, the day of the fieldtrip to the three beaches. Normal school work. But not a normal day for me. It was that day that I realized the thing that would change my life until now. It was that day that I looked at him, very deeply in his eyes, and thought "I'm in love with him."
My name is Ivan, 15 years old, average black dragon with dark blue features. I've been studying on that school for 4 years. This 5th year is the first one of my middle-school. I'm not a nerd, because I always fail on History, but I'm not dumb either, seen that my Math scores are pretty high. I've always liked playing videogames, but not the usual kind. I like to play unknown and rare games. I also like to play the guitar. Again, not the usual popular songs. I like to play the songs that I can identify with.
All that doesn't really help a shy guy like me. It provides no subject whatsoever to use in a conversation. Therefore, when I'm "talking" with my two friends, Rodrigo and Leonardo, I'm actually just listening to them talk about things that I don't know very well to share opinions or experiences. That hurts a little, but I'm used to it.
After the fieldtrip, the talking changed.
The next day, I got out of my classroom to wait for Rodrigo and Leonardo to get out of the other classroom. I've always wanted to be in the same class as them, but meh, I guess I've got no luck at all. I waited a little bit and decided to go in, to see what they were talking about. Then I suddenly felt the nicest thing I've ever felt: a sweet smell. I nearly fell on my face when I entered the classroom. And it only got worse. As I was getting closer to Rodrigo, the smell was getting stronger. Then, when he leaned over to see something that Leonardo was showing him on his iTouch, I did the most shameful thing I've ever done in my life. I pretended I was interested in his iTouch, and leaned over. And while doing that, I...
I sniffed Rodrigo's hair.
I had to control myself pretty hard that moment. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply. Then I noticed everyone that was left in the classroom was staring at me. I just said "Wow. I got a little dizzy there for a moment". Everyone seemed to get away with that, luckily. After that, everyone left the room, and I followed my friends. And for the rest of the interval, I couldn't help but to admire Rodrigo's everything. His voice, hair, body, eyes, nice and rough fur, feet, hands, smile, laugh, everything. He was a perfect Husky for me. And I'll say it again: He is the perfect Husky for me.
On the next few days, I tried everything to fulfill my love desire. On the end, I settled with touching him, even for the briefest of moments, whether it was on his hand or his leg. I don't know why, but I felt such happiness when I touched him. The joy was even bigger when I got a chance to sniff his hair again.
That kept going for about 5 months. And on that period, I became more and more depressed. Why? Because I couldn't admit my love to him without first admitting that I was gay. Because he would spend most of his time with Leonardo than with me. Because my levels were getting lower and lower. I've found a hard time sleeping, following a routine, studying, amongst many other things, just because I couldn't stop thinking about him. Until that one day.
That day.
That day. I was crying. I couldn't take it anymore. I sent him a message. "I have a crush on you". He didn't respond right away. The next day, he totally ignored the message. Until I pulled him to a private corner. He said it with a lot of hatred in his voice: "Yes, I received the message". And my mind fell. I was unsure about what to do. I let him go away and managed to get home as soon as possible.
The next few days destroyed me. I sent him another message. "Are you okay with you being my crush?" His answer? "Please, stop with that. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN". I tried to stop with everything I was doing to him, but I couldn't. I even tried to hold hands with him, but he avoided mine. And I simply couldn't stop trying to do that.
On the next weekend, Leonardo, Rodrigo and myself had a sleepover at Leonardo's house. And guess what? We played Truth or Dare. And I'll never forget it.
"Rodrigo, do you love us? Do you love your friends?"
"I don't love anybody."
"Not even your family?"
"Not even my family. You guys could all die, my family could all die, and I would not shed a single tear for you."
He had a pretty dark look in his eyes. I had water all over mine. I refused to accept what I just listened.
I still do. I still try to hold hands with him. I still sniff his hair when I get the chance.
He knows I love him. But he does nothing to help me with that.
I need to stop loving him. But how? He's my best friend. He's the most attractive Husky a dragon like me could've ever seen. Not even Leonardo knows how to help me.
Is it my destiny to love him? Will he ever love me back one day? Will I ever find love ever again after him?
That's some of the many questions I ask myself every day. But the answers... They are in the future. This story is not over. And I don't know if it will.