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Unit 12: Age

The common conception of age is that it's simply the number of years you've lived. After all, you've probably gotten used to filling out the forms for birthday approval each year. Unfortunately, this is a misconception. Age is no more determined by years-old than relationships are determined by physical or emotional attraction. (For the theory and equations regarding Billiac romances, please see Unit 15: Cardiology.)

If you hold out your hand on a very still day, you may be able to feel the timewise force that Fulner particles exert on your body. These invisible, tasteless, odorless particles move at a constant counter-timewise velocity, and are responsible for creating the process of aging.

If you have traveled outside the country or know friends who live elsewhere, you may already know that the current time is different at different points along the earth's surface. This is due to the interaction between the earth's rotation and Fulner particles. The tempotripetal force can be described with the equation F=(I/v __I_ *sin(t))^1.507_. You can probably do this in your head by now, but a refresher is available on Unit 1, p. 17 for those who may have forgotten.

Now, you're probably not used to seeing Fulner particles. Most animals and nearly all plants are unable to see them, and those who do see them often have to be restrained to keep from harming themselves. But you've probably already seen the effects that pseudo-Fulners can cause. Pseudo-Fulners (or P-Fuls) are made by making a very, very small incision in the nucleus of the Fulner atom, and excising half the yolk. As the particle will die twice as fast, it has a half-life and is thereby subject to decay (or P-cay).

A popular prank among young men and women of today is to use P-Fuls to induce a temporarily aged state to surprise and confound their parents, or to get into theatres and watch movies that are only meant for grown-ups. But P-Fuls can be unpredictable, and worse?overuse can cause Fulneric Rejection Syndrome (FRS), and lock you in a permanent age for the rest of your life, or even cause you to begin emitting Fulner particles. So to prevent unaging, always remember: Be C-Ful With Your P-Fuls.

Experiment 1

This experiment is carried out to demonstrate the effects of Fulner particles on an average adolescent male. We will describe the methods of the experiment as well as its expected results. Your teacher may decide to lead the class in a demonstration, or you may be broken into groups to perform the experiment yourself at this point. Have your workbooks ready to copy down the results you observe.

Materials:

-Canister of Fulner particles, forty centicenturies (40 cc)

-Fulner dispersion hose with variable flow nozzle

-10g skim milk of mangnesium.

-Himmelbess, inverted

-Volunteer

-Measuring tape

Procedure:

Take initial measurements using the measuring tape and fill in the appropriate data in the first row of data cells.

Our volunteer for this experiment is Steven, an adolescent (seventeen year old) male lion. [Fig. 15.1: 'So this is going to be quick, right?'] As you can see, he has no outstanding characteristics and looks quite average. There is little definition in the 'bi's and tri's' areas, similarly minor development in the quads, and next to no muscle mass at all in the quints, sexts, and septs. His mane has not yet grown in, and most of his fur is a tawny yellow.

Now, we begin the first phase of the experiment. Start by putting the inverted Himmelbess in place. DO NOT UNINVERT THE HIMMELBESS. Next, once the dispersion hose is connected to the canister, open the nozzle to approximately 0.5 yips. Then, open the valve on the canister for ten seconds, and close it again.

Ask your partner how it felt. Steven tells us that it was like the feeling you get when you want to sneeze but can't, except all over. This is in fact quite correct, as Fulner particles can have the side effect of inducing sneezing, and are the leading cause of sneezing worldwide. This was the basis for the famous Chinese 'Nose Clock' which you've probably seen simple replicas of sold in novelty shops.

As the Fulner particles push their way through Steven's body, he reports a feeling of discomfort and tightness within his own skin. This is to be expected. Within a minute, visible signs of change have already begun to appear. Though thin and sparse, a mane is growing on Steven's head at an accelerated rate. His body is currently developing through five years of growth and aging within just a few minutes.

Be sure to pay careful attention to the rate of development. Does your volunteer change uniformly, or does he start at one end and shift in a gradient to the other? Different people are affected by Fulner particles differently, so note down what you see in your workbook. Steven's rapid aging has begun at his head, and continues in a downward progression across his body.

Note down the physical differences from your volunteer's initial appearance. Stephen, as you can see, has developed a thicker muzzle, losing some of his more cub-like traits. However for that loss of cuteness, in exchange he can see what he will look like after puberty. He may not be a bodybuilder, but with a body like that, he might have a future in it. Maybe you have an athletic older self waiting for you too!

[Fig. 15.2: Removing your clothes or loosening them beforehand can avoid accidents with Fulner particles and prevent having to replace ripped clothing.]

Take accurate measurements of your volunteer's body after the first exposure. Then, prepare for the second exposure by placing 5g of the skim milk of mangnesium into the inverted Himmelbess. DO NOT AGITATE THE HIMMELBESS. Leaving the flow nozzle open to the same rate as before, open the valve and let the Fulner particles flow into your volunteer for another ten seconds.

You will notice that both Stephen and your partner (if done properly) are changing much more rapidly. This is because the Y-group elements (manganese, mangnesium, and segnomin) are highly attracted to Fulner particles. Think of it a bit like a conveyor belt, or a shopping cart, or a pair of tennis shoes.

Stephen's changes begin quickly this time, and his mane develops into a much fuller head of hair. Depending on the species of your volunteer you may or may not see the following yourself, but Stephen also exhibits a rapid development of body fur, which in many species spreads in a general pattern between the pectorals, underneath the arms, and following a line along the body's center rising up from between the legs. At first, Stephen only develops a light dusting of darker fur, but as the effects of the second exposure sink in, the body fur becomes thicker, darker and more prominent, much like his mane.

[Fig. 15.3: 'Anynone have a mirror?']

Stephen's muscles also undergo significant development during the second exposure. His shoulders thicken considerably, taking the muscles of the neck along with them and bolstering them into a more imposing appearance. The muscles of the arms have clearly also grown larger. Their thickness is unmistakable, even in Stephen's stance. His core has not been left out either: his chest is much broader, nearly pushing his abs into a shelf of hard muscle, while all around his torso, his back and sides can be seen flexing and rippling even in photos.

[Fig. 15.4: 'I'm serious. And maybe some weights or something?"]

You may have already noticed that your volunteer is acting strangely. Perhaps they are posing, or doing pushups, or attempting to flirt with your teacher or older classmates. This phenomenon is permanent and due to the temporal effect of the manganesium. Fulner particles pull a person one way through time, but anything carried with them are sent, according to the laws of conservation of momentum, into the past, irrevocably altering the timeline. In the case of Stephen, he can't remember a time when he wasn't regularly working out, or when he didn't look, as he says, 'so damn good'. He also expresses mild confusion about the equipment he was comfortable with in the beginning. Remember to be courteous and indulge your volunteers if they make odd requests, as this is now their new reality.

After giving Stephen a short break to exercise his body and release the expected build-up of sexual excitement, we continued our experiment. Depending on the new persona of your volunteer, you may wish to give them a break as well. When you're ready to continue, open up the flow rate on the dispersal nozzle to approximately 1.2 yips. Place the rest of the skim milk of mangnesium on the inverted Himmelbess. DO NOT TAUNT THE HIMMELBESS. Open up the valve for fifteen seconds.

[Fig. 15.5: Volunteer experiences discomfort from overdose of Fulner particles.]

You should notice that this time, your volunteer doesn't seem to enjoy the third dose of Fulner particles at first . However, the initial discomfort passes quickly. Be careful in the latter stages of this change, as those particularly sensitive volunteers can sometimes make a mess of things. DO NOT MAKE A MESS OF THE HIMMELBESS.

After complaining of stomach pains, Stephen feels better and begins to stretch his muscles, saying that he feels tense. His growth has already begun, in fact, as his bones have started to shift and his muscles to swell once again.

[Fig 15.6: As shown by this in-progress shot, the development of muscles this way can limit mobility due to muscle thickness.]

The squaring process that we saw previously happening to his muzzle now continues into a more general broadening of his body. His paws have increased in size, his chin and lip are thicker and more prominent, and his mane is growing rapidly even more impressive.

However, repeated exposure to an added material, such as the milk of mangnesium, causes diminishing returns. Note that despite the fact that Stephen looks considerably bigger than before, the overall change in size is only about thirty-three percent of the change caused by the second exposure, even when nearly three times the Fulner particles were used.

[Fig. 15.7: A comparison between Stephen's bicep after the first, second and third exposure, showing both increased muscle mass and vascularity, but diminishing returns of repeated exposures.]

Additionally, note that by now, Stephen is showing signs of progressing age. Fulner particles do not cause simple 'growth'. While he is still the largest he has yet been, his body fur has developed significantly, leaving his body with thicker, shaggier fur that covers a wider area. Additionally, his mane shows the beginning signs of the development of gray hair, crow's feet have formed in the corners of his eyes, and most notably, because his metabolism has slowed, despite having a heavily and tightly-muscled torso, his stomach has grown outward as fat deposits start to form, creating what is often known as a 'muscle gut'. Your volunteer may differ based on their metabolic and genetic processes, but the signs of age should be noticeable on them as well by now.

The history-altering effects of infused Fulner particles obey the same rules. Generally, facts established with the initial exposure remain constant but are embellished or exaggerated, or new facts are formed that are congruous with the altered history. For instance, after daring the lab staff to punch him in the gut and demanding heavy drinks, Stephen, who established that he was an aspiring bodybuilder after the second exposure, went on to say after the third that he had dropped out of school when young to pursue a bodybuilding career, then gradually outgrew the position, but could still lift far more than a weightlifter, and disturbed the Himmlebess in an attempt to prove how much he could lift. At the time of publication, he has recovered after a long stay in the hospital and is now pursuing coaching weightlifters and bodybuilders as a career. We wish Stephen and your own volunteers well in their new lives!

So, at the end of the experiment, what conclusions can we draw about the use of Fulner particles? Talk among your group and look at your data, then look further down the page to see if your conclusions match up.

-Fulner particles can be applied to an individual to cause aging.

-Fulner particles may accept carryons in the Y-group to cause a certain series of effects in male subjects.

-Fulner particles with carryons offer a significant drop-off in effectiveness after the first use, making repeat uses quickly impractical due to the necessary ages involved.

This concludes Experiment 1, which is concurrent with Lesson 1 in Chapter 15 of the Open Your Eyes Science Textbook and is to be used in conjunction with Lab Report 1 in Chapter 15 of the Open Your Eyes Science Practical Workbook.

The next experiment will focus on more advanced effects that can be achieved through Fulner particles, anti-Fulner fields, and orthogo-timelike states of matter.