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Well, let's see... where to begin. Well, I've heard folks say to begin at the beginning, but just where is the beginning? It doesn't seem quite right to tell you all about when I was a pup with my mother, brothers and sisters, or growing up by myself with a new family... that seems a little too far back for the beginning of this particular part of my life. I sigh and cant my head to the left while thinking.

I guess this particular part of my life really started one evening when my boy's father came home from work and slammed the door hard enough to make the kitchen windows shake. I knew right away that something was wrong and so instead of bouncing up and greeting him in my usual manner I kinda stayed back. He clomped through the house to the den where he and his mate slept and slammed that door as well. My boy was outside and came in right away, and we both stood there looking at the closed door, somewhat stunned. Then the yelling started. It didn't make much sense to me, but I could tell both the adults were upset about something and it unsettled my boy quite a lot. I nuzzled his side and started for the stairs to the den where we sleep, and he followed, though quite unenthusiastically.

While we were up there, he started playing his video games and I curled up on his bed. I lifted my head and listened as I heard the man's footfalls tromp back across the house, the back door slam again and then the car sped off down the driveway. It made me quite curious to know just what was going on, but it wasn't my place to stick my nose in their business. Or at least it didn't seem like I should. Maybe I should have. Maybe if I had known....

At any rate, for a little over a week the squabbling went on every night. Every night the man would come home and tromp to his sleeping-den and howl at his mate, and she would howl back just as loudly. He'd clump back out and speed off again, only to return a while later and have dinner as they always did. I'd wait at the foot of the table for whatever anyone would give me - my boy didn't like broccoli, and I didn't really care much for it either, but I'd take it because he gave it to me. Sometimes I'd get to clean the dinner plates....

Then one evening the man told my boy that we would be moving to a different place - a city, actually. One quite a distance from where we were. My boy was a little unsettled about that, as he said he didn't want to leave his friends. His mother told him he'd make new friends at his new school, and told him about the city's museum, and that they were near the train station - my boy loved trains - and about the park a few blocks down the street from their new home.

My boy immediately got quite excited and said it'd be fun to take me on walks to sit at the train station and to have fun at the park. I smiled and wagged my tailnub at the thought of that. I liked it when my boy was happy like that. His mother got real quiet and kind of looked away from him, then she looked at the man.

"Billy, well...." he began to say, his face contorted a little. "We can't take Goober with us. He's too big. The apartment only allows little dogs. I mean little LITTLE dogs, like the one Aunt Shelly has."

My boy immediately got quite sullen. "But what will happen to him? We can't just leave him here, he'd be all alone."

The man smiled. "Don't worry... we'll see about finding Goober a new family to live with, and if not there's a place up at Riley where pets can go to find new homes, too."

My boy thought about that for a bit, and then smiled a little bit. "Can we come back to see Goober when he finds a new home?"

"We'll have to see about that, Billy. Only time can tell on that one," the man replied. His mate smiled at my boy and dinner went on like it usually did.

The next couple of days were a flurry of activity as the lady started packing up a lot of their belongings in boxes and stacking them in the corner of the living room, and she had my boy pack up a lot of his things as well - mostly the things he didn't use very often - to get ready for the move. Everyone was excited, and so I didn't mind. The phone rang a lot - a lot more than usual - but I didn't really think too much of it with all that was going on.

That Saturday, though, the man, his mate, and my boy decided to take me for a car ride. Now... usually I didn't mind car rides, even though they were a rarity for me. My boy and I usually walked downtown when he wanted to get something from the gas station, or when he wanted to play at the school playground. Car rides were for visiting people, going to the vet which I do NOT like, or for Sundays during the summertime to just go here or there that was somewhat fun.

Well, it wasn't summer, and it wasn't Sunday, so it wasn't one of those outings. I hadn't heard the word "vet" mentioned recently, so it probably wasn't for that, so I guessed we were off to visit someone. But it must not have been someone too pleasant because the lady looked very upset and the man looked stern now and again, but whenever he looked at me his face softened. The lady couldn't look at me at all, which confused me a bit.

My boy happily climbed into the car and patted the seat for me, so I jumped up without a second though.

"We're going to take you for a ride and you'll meet lots of other dogs and cats and make new friends and find a new home! I really wish we could take you with us, Goober, but daddy says we can't even if we hid you in the closet when people came over and everything."

My boy seemed to think it was a good thing so I didn't have any idea it would be anything less than a new adventure for me. How little did I know just what an adventure it would be.

* * * * *

It was a good drive up to Riley... the air wasn't too hot so they had the windows down in the car as we rolled along the highway. We took the road by the river for a bit, and soon came to the part that followed the railroad tracks. My boy was excited and watching out the window to see if any trains were moving, and before too long we caught up with a freight train. My boy waved out the window and caught the eye of the conductor, who waved back as the engineer blew the horn in reply. We stopped at a crossing a good ways up ahead and my boy got out and waved as I sat next to him on the warm pavement of the road. We watched as the train rolled by until the blinking light at the end disappeared from view, then we climbed back into the car and off we went some more.

We caught up with the train again just before we reached Riley, but we didn't stop at a crossing this time. We wound our way through the city a bit, through an industrial section and then the man turned off onto a gravel road that sort of led back towards a railroad yard. There was a squatty brick building there. Not red bricks as you usually think, but sand-colored. It wasn't very tall... a little more than a single-story house, but not as big as a two-story. I didn't get to read the sign out from as we bounced past because my boy had heard the train's horn and jumped out of the car. The man told him to put me on the leash they'd brought with them, so it got clipped to my collar and my boy and I made our way through the path towards the train yard to watch the train come through.

To the delight of my boy, it stopped for a crew change at the station. The engineer and conductor were both really friendly to my boy and answered a lot of his questions, and petted me as well. They asked him where he came from, and what my name was. What we were doing in Riley, and where we'd parked. He pointed back to the building and their tone changed a bit. Their smiles seemed forced when my boy said they'd brought me here to find a new home.

The railroad crew soon had to go about their work and the new crew was walking up from the metal building that served as a station. It didn't look like the station downtown, but I guess they make all different types.

My boy and I waited until the train got rolling again and he waved to the new crew before turning to head back. His mother asked him what took so long and he told her all about it while I stood there, wagging my tailnub from my boy's excitement.

"We better get going in, Billy," his father said.

We walked through a set of glass doors labeled "Pinclear County Animal Shelter" into this sort of waiting lobby area with a counter at one end and a young girl behind it. Not young like Billy's age, but not as old as his mother and father. The place smelled. Not like stink-smell like by the sewer plant, but smelled... there was medicine smell, scentmarks, floor cleaner, Windex, and... fear scent.

For the first time since we stared, my tailnub drooped and I tried to figure out why there'd be fear scent. Maybe it was because of the medicine smell, but this place wasn't the vet's, and didn't smell like the vet's. Too many animals still here. I sat down and watched quietly as the man filled out some paperwork. My boy took the leash off, and the girl came around from behind the counter and clipped a different leash on. This one was sort of ragged and had the smells of lots of dogs on it. I looked up at her and she looked down at me and scratched my ear as she talked to the man.

"Do you want to see where he'll be staying?" she asked my boy, who nodded.

We walked through a metal door with a glass window and immediately there was a lot of barking and heavier scentmarks... we passed by a couple offices, through another metal door with a window, past this room with a whole bunch of small cages with cats in it, then turned left to a long corridor of run after run with dogs in it. Not all the runs had dogs, but all the ones that did were up against the gate and barking loudly. Well, not all of them, some of the dogs were curled in the back corners or just stood and cowered. They led me to one of the open runs and then inside. I'd been in a run before, so I didn't mind too much. It was at the vet's but this wasn't the vet. Even though this area smelled stronger of medicine-smell than the lobby it wasn't too bad.

The lady unclipped my leash, told me to stay, then walked out and shut the gate behind her. After she walked away I padded up to the gate and looked to my boy and his parents.

Billy opened the gate a little and I stepped back. He gave me a hug and my ears drooped. I licked his face. "You be good in your new home, Goober, and I'll visit you if daddy brings me." I whimpered a little as he shut the gate behind him and they walked out. I mashed my head against the gate as much as I could to see as far as I could as they walked back down the aisle and stood there even after I couldn't see them anymore.

"well, welcome to the end of the line," this voice said next to me. I hadn't even noticed the pitbull-mix in the kennel next to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked in response. "Isn't this a place where they find a new home for you when you family can't take you somewhere new?"

He chucklebarked some and shook his head. "Not for dogs like you and me, bub. I'm a pitbull and I'm vicious, they said. You're a Rottweiler and you're not going to be here any longer than me because they think you're mean too."

I looked confused and just sat there blinking for a bit. I wasn't mean... I mean, not really. Chasing the neighbor's stupid cat out of the backyard, sure. And yes, I did occasionally break stuff in the house by jumping up to see what's on the table and things like that, but that didn't mean I was mean, did it?

The pitbull seemed to notice my confusion. "You don't have to actually be mean, kid. They just assume you are and so you're not going to find a new home. And those dogs that you saw cowering? They probably won't either, because people want perky dogs. Then there's..."

He was interrupted by the heavy thump of one of the steel doors closing. "Aw crap. Here comes Tom. Watch out for him, he's a real asshole. I can tell it's him by the sound of his boots. He's got someone with him, and I think it's Jimmy... Jimmy's a good kid."

The footfalls came closer and then trod up the aisle. I stood at the gate end of the run to see just who was coming. I didn't need to, though, as the boots stopped right in front of me. I looked up and here was a clean-shaven man about the same age as my boy's father, but with a crew cut hairdo and a scar across his right cheek.

"So you're the latest dropoff, huh? Fucking country bumpkins and their goddamned dogs, dropping them off here...." he grumbled, then looked to the kennel to my right. The pitbull barked. "About as bad as the damned spicks and drug dealers with their fucking pitbulls breeding them all over the city for us to go and get!" With that he kicked the gate of the run next to me. The pitbull backed up a bit and barked again. Not exactly in aggression but not quite in play either.

"Get used to it, stupid fucker. We only hold for 5 days, and your time's almost up, bastard!" He scowled at the pitt. "JIMMY!" he bellowed in the direction of the lobby.

"Yeah?" came a less aggressive response in a lighter voice from down the aisle.

"Put a caution sign on this new one. Don't want anyone's fingers go missing from sticking them in through the fence! And what's this hold on that pitt we found over on Dawson Street? This fucker shouldn't have a hold card on him!"

"Someone called this morning about their dog being lost and it matched their description, so they're coming by later to see if it's theirs." The young man came up to tell this to the older one, holding a card with hooks in his hand. He only came up to the older man's chin, but didn't seem to be too intimidated by the clearly aggressive older man.

"Fuckers.... should shoot them all and be done with it," Tom said, tapping a holstered pistol on his right hip. Jimmy gave him a wry look, then smiled broadly. "Well, you know, if you do... I'd probably end up getting your job!"

"Hah! You'd like that, wouldn't you, you little pansy-ass! You'd have this county overrun with every kind of fucking mongrel and bastard pitbull before the year was out, and then where would we be! People getting bitten left and right, all sorts of dogs living..." he sneered at the pitt and me "... that shouldn't ever have been born...." With that he pushed the younger man out of the way and clomped off. Soon a "thunk" was heard as the door closed silencing the footfalls.

Jimmy stood there looking at me for a minute before hanging the sign on the chainlink of the gate. "You don't look so bad, pup." he reached his fingers through and I sniffed, then licked them. He smiled broader. "We'll see how things go for you."

His face had this sort of sad smile, like maybe he was hoping for something that might not happen. In hindsight, that's probably what it was, but I didn't really know it right then.

He walked off down the aisle and then I heard the door open and shut again as his footsteps faded. I turned to the pitt. "Well at least your family is coming to get you, then you can leave. See? It's not as bad as you said."

The pitt sat down and looked at me. "They're not my family. I don't have a family. I had an owner that kept me in a kennel, but they left a good while ago. Something about "foreclosure", whatever that is. They just left me in the garage with a whole bunch of food and water. I'd go out into the kennel and watch things, then go in and eat. In and out. Out and in. I don't know how long it was. No one came. No one was at home. Nothing came to see me. No one and nothing. Eventually the food ran out, so I started doing what I had been punished for doing lots of times - I dug into the ground by the kennel fence. It wasn't easy because they'd put rock-blocks around it to keep me from digging out, from the last time I was here. They said if I ever came back they'd... do things to me and I wouldn't ever go home again."

I listened carefully, not quite believing what the pitt was saying, but still it didn't sound too outlandish.

"Well, I got out into the yard, where I'd played a whole lot with my owner. That's how I knew where the one board was in the fence with the weak bottom. After a couple days of being in and out of the yard, I decided I needed to find some food, so I wriggled out through the fence having broken that board enough for me to fit through. And that's where Tom caught me."

"Caught you?" I interrupted.

"Yeah. I was eating some stuff out of a garbage can I knocked over. Some pretty good food.. well... ok, it wasn't GOOD food, but it was food. He caught me with this loop-thing on a pole and literally picked me up by my head and dropped me into this cage in a truck. He swore at me the whole time and said he should have shot me right there. I hadn't been picked up by my head before and it HURT so I growled a lot at him. That's how come I have a Danger sign on my cage and you only have a Caution. Then when I came in he dragged me in here without letting me walk, in through that back door there..." he nose-pointed and I looked at the steel door a few runs down from where I was at, then looked back "... and here I've been ever since. During certain hours sometimes people walk through looking for a dog they've lost or wanting to find a new one, but most of the time they leave without taking anyone with them. It'll be the same for you, I'm sure, especially with the signs on the cages making people scared of us." He shrugged a bit and my ears drooped.

"So, there's no way out of here? We just stay here forever?" I asked.

He chucklebarked. "You DO have a lot to learn, pup. There is a way out... it's a steel door with no window that you passed on the way in. It smells a lot like a vet's office? There's a light by the door - a red one. Dogs go in, but they never come back out. At least not out this way. I've never seen it but some of the dogs that get taken on walks say there's another place outside, a sort of metal den, where those dogs go.... dead. And when the den gets full of dead dogs, there's a fire and smoke and then there's no more dogs in the den, ready for more to go through that door and never come back."

I looked shocked. That... didn't make any sense to me. How could such a thing happen? I mean... sure sometimes dogs leave and don't come back, like from the park at home when there was a boxer that was old and his owner just stopped showing up with him, and when she did come back she was all alone and looked sad. My boy didn't mind when I'd sit with her instead of waiting for him by the swings or the merry-go-round. She seemed to like me being with her even though she wasn't my owner.

Before I could think more on that the door opened and there were lots of footsteps. A lot of the dogs started barking and clawing at the gates to their runs. The pitt barked a couple times then looked at me. "Kid, ya gotta bark or they'll think something's wrong with you and not choose you. Or at least that's what I was told." He started clamoring at the gate too, but I just stood there, watching, curious. I didn't bark because... well, I don't know exactly why, but I didn't feel like it. We heard Tom's voice, it wasn't as condescending or aggressive as before, and there were little footfalls along with those of adult feet. "Well, Jimmy told me you called, but there's only eight pitbulls here, and only one kind of matches your description...." The group of people stopped in front of the pitt's run. "This is him." Tom gestured. It was a younger couple, I'd guess about Jimmy's age, with a boy younger than my boy... maybe... 4 or 6? Something like that. I watched them as they looked over the dog.

The woman sighed. "It's not him... I was hoping it would be, but it's not." she moved to put her fingers through the fence but Tom grabbed her wrist. "Uh, I wouldn't do that, ma'am. This one gave me a bit of trouble when I picked him up, so... that's why the Danger sign. Wouldn't want you to get bit...."

The woman blanched a bit. "Oh, oh. I didn't see. Thank you Mr.... uh... I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name."

"Director Dolphin... like the fish." he smiled. But at the same time his smile seemed... not quite right.

"Well, thank you Mr. Dolphin. Certainly wouldn't want to get hurt..." The boy looked at me and leaned against the cage. I sniffed him and he smelled like a different dog had been in charge of him. He stuck his fingers through the fence and I licked them.

"Mike!" the lady squealed and the man pulled the boy away from the fence.

"Eric, what did I tell you about trying to pet dogs you don't know?" the man demanded of the boy.

"But he's friendly! See!" the kid pointed and I stood up wagging my tailnub, smiling up at them.

"You still shouldn't do it! Now let's see if we can find Grunt somewhere else!" With that the man dragged the boy along as the group made their way past the other barking dogs. I could barely here "Bye bye, doggie" as the din of the barking drowned out anything else.

That night was probably the most confusing night I've ever.... well.... perhaps not THAT night, but it was still pretty odd. Jimmy brought us out dinner and for some of the dogs he stopped and petted them for awhile, including the pitt and myself. I licked his face and he petted all over my back and thighs and head before heading out to give another dog their dinner. "I'll be back, buddy... you'll see me again." He finished up his chores and headed back the other direction.

I casually ate my food, which wasn't as good as I normally had, but at least it was something to eat. Tom clomped through and checked over everything before clomping back down the aisle. The lights went out with a loud snap and then the door closed shut. Everything stilled, more or less... it was a cold, lonely feeling. I curled up in a corner, but it wasn't too comfortable. There wasn't a bed, no blanket, carpet, nothing. Just cold hard concrete and a draft coming through the metal hatch-door that presumably led outside. This certainly wasn't home. I could hear some vehicle, probably a truck, with a deep-toned motor and broken muffler fire up and head off down the gravel driveway.

"Face it, kid, like I said... this is the end of the line for us both. Might as well get used to the idea," the pitbull grunted as he curled up too. I didn't say anything... I didn't know what to say. Maybe he was right. Maybe we were.... destined to die. I didn't even want to think it, but somewhere, deep down, I knew he was probably right.